– English Lyrics

Lyrics & Translation

[English]

Mom, please call me back.

I think I'm dating my dad.

Oh, no, no, no.

No. Oh, God.

Dude.

Listen, I'm so sorry.

Me first, huh?

My name is Barney Stinson, and I am a recovering serial womanizer.

We are likely speaking today because you are a woman.

I once concocted an elaborate scheme to have sex with.

I fully understand why you've exacted revenge on me, and I apologize if I ever a

pretended to be a mannequin that came to life and made you fall in love with me.

B hired a makeup team to transform me into a time traveling old man and told you that the

only way to stop global warming was to sleep with young me.

C told you I was Justin Hemsworth, the long lost eldest.

Hemsworth brother.

Oh, my God. Stop talking.

Why do I have a feeling you have, like, 50 more creepy things on that list?

50. Like hundreds.

I did not crash into you to exact revenge.

We've never met. I'm just a new driver in the middle of the worst night of my life.

I guess I would have recognized the three of you if we had met.

What? You and your boobs.

What happened? My STD shock therapy device.

It's this experimental new electroshock treatment for guys like me.

This sucker is programmed with 10,000 problematic words and phrases.

If I utter one of them, it blasts me with enough electricity to power Staten Island.

Whoa.

And that really works.

Yeah. When I first saw you, I wanted to say you rear ended me.

So how about I rear end you?

I. But I didn't.

Well, fun chat.

What do you say I Venmo you for the damage?

What do you think's fair? Like 30, 40 bucks?

Okay. 50. Final offer.

Honey, my left shoelace cost $50.

This is a new low.

First, I find out I'm dating my maybe dad.

And now I'm going to go bankrupt because I crashed into the fanciest perv in New York.

I'm sorry. You just found out you're maybe dating your.

Maybe. What? Who? What?

It's a long story.

How about you tell me your twisted tale of daughter, daddy lust and intrigue.

And if your story is juicy enough, the car is on me.

Really?

That's a pretty weird challenge.

If there's one thing you should know about me, it's that I love a weird challenge.

Okay, so my friend and I, we went to this party, okay?

And I met a chef.

Yeah, you did?

Come on.

Key Vocabulary

Vocabulary	Meanings
recovering rɪˈkʌvərɪŋ B1	adjective - in the process of getting better or returning to a normal state
serial ˈsɪəriəl B1	adjective - happening or done in a series
womanizer ˈwʊmənaɪzər A2	noun - a man who has multiple sexual relationships with women, often without commitment
concocted kənˈkɒktɪd B2	verb - to invent or devise something, often in a skillful or clever way
elaborate ɪˈlæbərət B2	adjective - involving many careful details or complicated parts
exacted ɪgˈzæktɪd C1	verb - to demand and obtain something, especially through force or authority
revenge rɪˈvɛndʒ A2	noun - action taken to hurt someone in return for a harm they have caused
mannequin ˈmænɪkɪn B1	noun - a model of the human body used to display clothes
transform trænsˈfɔrm B1	verb - to change completely in appearance or character
electroshock ɪˈlɛktrəʊʃɒk C1	noun - a therapeutic or punitive shock of electricity passed through the body
programmed ˈproʊɡræmd B1	verb - to plan or schedule something
problematic ˌprɒbləˈmætɪk B2	adjective - causing or presenting a problem
utter ˈʌtər B1	verb - to say something aloud
Venmo ˈvɛnmoʊ A2	noun - a mobile payment service used to transfer money
bankrupt ˈbæŋkrʌpt B1	adjective - having been legally declared unable to pay debts
intrigue ɪnˈtriːɡ B2	noun - a secret plot or scheme

Key Grammar Structures

• Mom, please call me back.

  ➔ Imperative mood

  ➔ The sentence uses the imperative mood to directly request the mother to call back. The word "please" softens the command.

• I once concocted an elaborate scheme to have sex with…

  ➔ Past Perfect Continuous (implied) + Infinitive of Purpose

  ➔ The phrase 'once concocted' implies a completed action in the past that took time to plan. 'To have sex with...' is an infinitive phrase expressing the purpose of the scheme.

• I fully understand why you've exacted revenge on me, and I apologize if I ever pretended to be a mannequin that came to life and made you fall in love with me.

  ➔ Present Perfect (have exacted) + Conditional Clause (if I had pretended)

  ➔ "have exacted" shows an action completed recently with relevance to the present. The 'if' clause uses the past perfect subjunctive to describe a hypothetical past action.

• Why do I have a feeling you have, like, 50 more creepy things on that list?

  ➔ Tag Question + Discourse Marker ('like')

  ➔ The phrase uses a tag question ('you have, like, 50 more...') to seek confirmation. 'Like' is used as a discourse marker to soften the statement and indicate uncertainty.

• This sucker is programmed with 10,000 problematic words and phrases.

  ➔ Passive Voice + Adjective Clause

  ➔ The sentence uses the passive voice ('is programmed') to focus on the device rather than the programmer. 'with 10,000 problematic words and phrases' is an adjective phrase modifying 'sucker'.