– English Lyrics

Lyrics & Translation

[English]

Linda: What do you think of my dress?

Alejandro: I love it. Is it silk charmeuse?

- Yes, silk charmeuse! (Chuckles)

Great shirt, is it new?

- This old thing? Yes!

(Both laugh)

- (Gasp) SURPRISE!

Joy: (Frightened gasps) Wha?

- And welcome to Terrific Women!

- Aren't we doing our Tupperware episode?

- Nope!

today we're finding out the father of your child with...

THE DATING GAME.

- What?

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

- Welcome back to romance.

- But how do you know who the father might be?

- I took a look at your little black book,

and I chose the contestants

based on your most dog-eared pages!

- So, you invited men here from my sexual past

without telling me?

What a nice surprise!

- Isn't she a great sport! (Laughs)

How's that chair?

- Great swivel action!

- Wonderful. And can you believe that in mere moments,

three eligible bachelors will be sitting right here?

- But won't I be able to see them?

- If you take off those windshield wipers of yours,

you're as blind as a bat!

Give it a go!

And how's the view?

- It's like being in a whale's mouth!

- Perfect!

Before we get started, why don't you tell

the folks at home a little bit about yourself?

- Um, I'm 30, I'm unmarried, I'm with child.

- Let's uh... - I don't have any money...

- ...keep it a little lighter than that.

- I make a mean apple tart and I love pressing flowers!

- And what man wouldn't want a nice, stiff reminder

of his best memories in a floral display?

- And can I add that I don't know who the father is

but I hope that he's smart and kind and thoughtful...

- All right, that's a bit of a tall order there, Joy.

Why don't we meet our contestants?

Roll the tape! Roll the tape, there's three.

- The name's Slick Rick, I'm the king of the roller rink.

I drive a Mustang convertible

and I have a G.E.D. in S-E-X.

(Deep inhale)

- Hi, I'm Tim. I'm an astronaut,

and some people say I'm actually pretty sweet.

I've spent so much time in space

that I do have a spinal problem,

but I love baking and I love my cats,

Rowdy and Roy.

- Hi, my name is David and I'm Joy's twin brother by birth.

I think it's a little unfair

that everybody else got to bring a prop.

- Welcome, mystery bachelors!

Joy, are you excited to get to know them?

- Um, actually, Linda,

I think I might have already identified one by scent.

I think you accidentally invited my brother, David.

- Hi Joy! - Hi David!

- (quietly) Eww.

- Your brother? That's disgusting.

Why would he show up?

- Just, you know, supportive sibling.

- We're very close! - I don't like it.

Well, before we get to know our two eligible bachelors,

let's lube up the entry with a delicious cocktail

from Alejandro.

- This beautiful mess is dedicated to Joy.

I call it The Desperado.

It's two parts tequila, and two parts tequila!

Ay yi yi!

- Oh, that sounds like a nice stiffy.

♪♪♪

ALL: Cheers!

- All right Joy, here are your tailor-made questions

designed to help you find the father of your child.

- Say what?

- I mean, uh, the man of your dreams!

(Chuckles)

- Bachelor Number One,

what is your favourite way to end a lovemaking session?

- I'd have to say a big finish in her hair,

give her something to remember me by.

(Laughs) Oh! - Oh, my God!

- Oh dear, I-I think I do remember you. Okay.

Bachelor Number Two?

- Well, I don't believe in sex before marriage.

- Yikes.

- But if I did, I'd always wear a prophylactic!

- Aww!

- Do you want to hear my answer, Joy?

- No thank you, David!

Bachelor Number One,

if we went on a date about eight months ago,

where would we have gone?

- Oh, we would have gone to the roller rink, baby!

We would've shared some curly fries,

and then we would've made it in the parking lot!

Oh yeah.

- Wow, great answer!

- Yes, that definitely sounds familiar, thanks.

Um, Bachelor Number Two!

To the planetarium to look at the stars,

and then a long walk on the beach to look at more stars.

- BOR-ING.

Ask Bachelor Number One some more questions.

You know, in his profile, he was holding a single red rose,

and as we all know, that is the epitome of romance.

- Actually Linda, um,

can I talk to you over here for a moment?

- Sure Joy.

- So, um, I recognize Bachelor Number One

We went on a date to the roller rink and he ruined my perm.

- Hmmm.

- And then I also went on a date with Bachelor Number Two

about eight months ago, but we never did it.

- Ugh. Well you dodged a bullet there, Joy,

I'll tell you that much.

- Wait a minute, are you telling me that

neither of these bachelors could possible be the father?

- Exactly, but I really like Bachelor Number Two,

and I think he's great, and I'd love to go on another--

- END THE SEGMENT. It's over.

Everyone out! Except for you, handsome!

I'm gonna give you a tour of my house,

if you know what I mean. - Hot damn!

Looks like Slick Rick's sleeping in a real bed tonight.

Hey hey! You're on the pill right?

Linda: I'm on a few!

- Wow.

- Oh, um, Bachelor Number Two?

- Oh, it's Tim, the astronaut.

I don't know if you remember me,

but we went on a date about eight months ago.

- I do, and I'd love to go again

but I have to go to the moon tomorrow, tomorrow morning.

But um, I could call you after if I don't die on the way back!

- That'd be great! - Okay.

- Bye then!

- Don't get downhearted about your situation, Joy.

You could always move in with me! I-I'd look after you!

- I don't know, David. I don't want to get in your way.

Aren't you busy with your computer business...

what is it again?

- it's called "The Intergalactic Computer Network"

and it's... think of it as a cobweb of information.

Joy: A cobweb? Is it dusty?

- It can be, if you don't get the bugs out!

(Both chuckle)

Announcer: This episode of Terrific Women

has been brought to you by Husky's Roller Rink.

Roll on down to Husky's and be yourself, Jack!

Key Vocabulary

Vocabulary	Meanings
silk /sɪlk/ B1	noun - a soft, lustrous fiber produced by silkworms and used to make textiles.
charmeuse /ʃɑːrˈmjuːz/ C1	noun - a lightweight, luxurious fabric with a satin weave.
episode /ˈɛpɪsoʊd/ B1	noun - a part of a broadcast or published series.
contestants /kənˈtɛstənts/ B2	noun - people who compete in a competition.
invited /ɪnˈvaɪtɪd/ A2	verb - asked someone to go somewhere or do something.
sexual /ˈsɛksjuəl/ C1	adjective - relating to or involving sex.
eligible /ˈɛlɪdʒəbl/ B2	adjective - having the right to do something or be chosen for something.
bachelors /ˈbætʃələr/ B1	noun - an unmarried man.
windshield /ˈwɪndʃiːld/ B1	noun - the glass screen in front of the driver and passengers in a vehicle.
blind /blaɪnd/ A2	adjective - unable to see.
whale /weɪl/ A2	noun - a very large marine mammal.
unmarried /ʌnˈmærɪd/ A2	adjective - not married.
stiff /stɪf/ B1	adjective - difficult to bend or move.
reminders /rɪˈmaɪndərz/ B1	noun - something that helps someone remember something.
thoughtful /ˈθɔːtfʊl/ B1	adjective - showing consideration for the needs of other people.
contestant /kənˈtɛstənt/ B2	noun - a person who takes part in a competition.
convertible /kənˈvɜːrtəbl/ B2	noun - a car with a roof that can be opened or closed.
spinal /ˈspaɪnl/ C1	adjective - relating to the spine.

Key Grammar Structures

• Is it silk charmeuse?

  ➔ Tag question

  ➔ The phrase "Is it silk charmeuse?" uses a tag question, a short question added to the end of a statement to seek confirmation, formed with a pronoun and an auxiliary verb.

• This old thing? Yes!

  ➔ Rhetorical question

  ➔ The phrase "This old thing?" is a rhetorical question, used for emphasis or effect rather than to seek an answer.

• Aren't we doing our Tupperware episode?

  ➔ Negative tag question

  ➔ The phrase uses a negative tag question, formed with a negative auxiliary verb to seek confirmation in a negative context.

• I took a look at your little black book, and I chose the contestants based on your most dog-eared pages!

  ➔ Past simple + past simple

  ➔ The sentence uses two past simple verbs to describe sequential actions in the past.

• If you take off those windshield wipers of yours, you're as blind as a bat!

  ➔ Second conditional

  ➔ The sentence uses the second conditional to describe a hypothetical situation and its result.

• I don’t have any money, but I make a mean apple tart!

  ➔ Contrastive conjunction

  ➔ The sentence uses "but" as a contrastive conjunction to show a contrast between two ideas.

• I hope that he's smart and kind and thoughtful...

  ➔ Subjunctive mood

  ➔ The sentence uses the subjunctive mood with "hope" to express a wish or desire.

• Roll the tape! Roll the tape, there's three.

  ➔ Imperative mood

  ➔ The sentence uses the imperative mood to give a direct command.