– English Lyrics

Lyrics & Translation

[English]

okay now just remember everything I

taught you and you'll be fine okay here

we go ready set wait this seat is really

uncomfortable but maybe before we start

we should just get another one perhaps

like an airplane seat or a bean bag

chair baby you can't get out of this

okay you have to learn how to ride a

bike why why do I have to

learn well in in case of an

emergency what kind of emergency well

what if a man comes along and puts a gun

to your head and says you ride this bike

or

I'll I'll shoot

you okay I would ring the bell to

distract him and then I would knock the

gun out of his hand with the Chinese

throwing

star okay phoei just just get get on the

bike and hey I'll hold you up and and

push you

okay you won't let go no you swear I

swear okay come

on all right here we go all right all

right all right feel good all right try

pedaling that's it you're doing great

you're doing great yes yes yes take

control

yes oh oh oh

no you score I I just thought you were

doing so well shot

[Laughter]

sh it's a legitimate learning

technique wasn't there a time when the

brightest Minds in the world believed

that the Earth was flat and up until

like what 50 years ago you all thought

the atom was the smallest thing until

you split it open and this like whole

mess of crap came

out now are you telling me that you are

so unbelievably arrogant that you can't

admit that there's a teeny tiny

possibility that you could be wrong

about

this there might

be a

teeny

tiny

possibility I can't believe you

caved what

you just abandon your whole belief

system no I mean before I didn't agree

with you but at least I respected

you no how how how are you going to go

into work tomorrow how how are you going

to face the other science guyses how how

are you going to face yourself

that was fun so who's hungry you got me

Taffy Taffy really I've never had any

ever well I think my mother was too busy

planning her suicide to provide

saltwater

treats thank

you so what are you just never going to

tell her oh no no no I will I just want

to butter her up first you know I'm

going to take her to an amazing

Valentine's dinner do all all this

romantic stuff and then just when she

thinks I'm the best boyfriend in the

world then I'm going to tell her that my

pregnant ex-girlfriend is living with me

if I haven't said it before she's a

lucky lucky

lady so where are you going what the

mother of crap is up with this

stuff oh God it is it gum is it food

what what's the

deal oh it's nice may I try a pink one

you're on fire I know one more score to

go you can do it don't touch me don't

touch her all right go left go go right

go right I can I

can no you son of

[Music]

[Music]

a oh hi Ben no no don't look at the

machine every time I go to the dentist

somebody

dies that is so weird because every time

I go to the dentist I look down the

hygienist

blouse Phoebe what um what yeah yeah

first there was my Aunt Mary and then

there was um John my mailman and then my

my cowboy friend albino

Bob and all of these people actually

died yes while I was in the chair

that's why I take such good care of my

teeth now you know it's not about oral

hygiene I floss to save

lives fees come on you didn't kill

anybody these people just happen to die

when you went to the dentist it's it's

just a coincidence well tell that to

them oh you can't they're

dead hey Ross I'm so glad someone's here

could you zip me

up sure thank you can you believe no one

between my apartment in here offered to

do that for

me

people so uh why are you so dressed up

oh um Mike's picking me up for a date oh

yeah now how's that going is it getting

serious I don't know I don't know I mean

you know I like him but you know am I

ready to take my gray a loins off the

meat market I'm not quite

sure you know I I really admire your

your whole dating attitude it's so

healthy I'm always like is this moving

too fast is this moving too slow where

where is this going yeah you know you

are a bit of a drama

queen well you you're so much better off

you know you just go from guy to Guy

having fun and not worrying that it

never turns into anything

serious I would say

never you know there was that

guy okay well what

about okay well there's got to be

someone there isn't that's what I'm

saying

oh my God you're right I know and yet

here you are all ready for the next

date I can't believe I never realized

this before I'm in my 30s and I've never

been in a long-term

relationship oh my God what's wrong with

me no no no

no um there's there's nothing wrong with

you I mean you don't strike me as the

type of person that wants to get married

anyway want to get

married God please please don't cry

because of me I I don't know what I'm

talking about okay I've been divorced

three times yeah well at least you've

been married oh my God I want to trade

lives with

Ross and that should conclusively prove

that I had the idea for Jurassic Park

first let's take a

look oh my God what are you doing here I

need to talk to you it's pretty urgent

it's about Monica and Chandler oh my god

um of course of uh would you please

excuse me for a moment um do you know

each other's hometowns why don't

you what's going on well um not much but

I was just thinking that since those

guys just got engaged that maybe it'd be

nice if they had some privacy you know

so could I just move in with you for a

couple

days um okay yeah sure but what what's

wrong with Monica and Chandler nothing

why Phoebe you said it was urgent oh

yeah it is I'm going to the movies and

it starts in like 5

minutes do you realize I have a

classroom full of

students oh I'm sorry I'm so rude does

anyone want to come to the

movies hi Hey listen I wanted to ask you

something about marriage oh great now

you're seeking me out to make jokes I

mean I can see if we're all hanging out

but they come to my home no no I really

want to know how you feel about it why

Mike doesn't ever want to get

married never

never wow well you still going to move

in with him well I want to but I just

wanted you to tell me that marriage

really isn't that big a deal you know

that I won't I won't be missing out on

anything that marriage

stinks yeah marriage stinks

I mean if you want to see a man gain

weight and a woman Stop Shaving get him

married that's not how you really feel

is it no I'm

sorry look I I know it's not what you

want to hear right now but I can't help

it I I love marriage seriously you

divorce

o if you have to call me a name I prefer

Ross the divorcer it's just

cooler look look I know my marriages

didn't exactly work out but

you know I I loved being that committed

to another person and Carol and I had

some good times before she became a

lesbian and once

afterward anyway I'm I'm

sorry it's okay that's how you

feel but come on I mean living together

will be great I mean you guys have so

much fun and you love Mike I do love

Mike yeah see and you were so excited

about moving in together before and you

know what you should be it's a big

deal yeah I guess you're

right yeah thanks this helped thanks the

divorcer to the

rescue it's not cooler yeah I just heard

it be what's wrong I'm just so exhausted

from dragging around this huge

engagement

ring congratulations so did it get on

one knee did did he have a speech

prepared oh did he cry

yeah big surprise I like

proposals hi hey hey oh so um how'd you

make out last

night that that is funny that is

painfully funny no wait wait yeah that's

just

painful wait a minute I thought last

night was was great yeah it was but I

get home okay and I see Julie sailing

Solution on my night table and I'm

thinking to myself oh my God what the

hell am I doing I mean here I am I'm

with Julie this incredible great woman

who I care about and and who cares about

me and I'm like what am I just going to

throw all that away you got all that

from saline

solution wait a minut we're talking

about Rachel here you and Rachel oh

believe me I've been dreaming about me

and Rachel for like 10 years now but now

I'm with Julie you know so it's like me

and Julie me and Rachel me and Julie me

and ra Rachel

Rachel hey you how are you good how are

you good good hi Honey hi Julie hi

Julie

Julie um how are you good good so

everybody's

here everybody's

good so were you going to play something

phoei well actually I

did all right hey Julie I didn't know

you lenses

what okay um hi hello hi okay so um this

is a song um about a love triangle

between three people that I made

up um it's called um two of them kissed

last

night there was a girl we'll call her

Betty and and a guy let's call him

Neil now I can't stress this point too

strongly this story isn't

real now o Neal must decide who will be

the girl that he casts aside will Betty

be the one who he loves truly or will it

be the one who will call

louly he must decide he must decide even

though I made him up he must

decide you want a dinner tonight oh I

can't i' I've got a date with that

waitress Katie yeah I I know we've only

gone out like twice but I don't know I

have a really good feeling about her oh

I hear divorce

Bells all right just give me your wals

and there won't be a problem what I have

a gun okay just just relax Phoebe just

stay

calm oh my God I can't find my wallet

all right lady now give me your purse no

what do you mean no I knew you'd be my

death Phoebe

Buffet LOL is that you Phoebe oh my God

oh my God oh I'm sorry Ross this is my

old friend LOL from the

streets LOL Ross Ross nice to meet you

yeah a real

pleasure it's been so long oh so long I

can't believe you're still doing this ah

I know but I quit smoking good for you

so you look like you're doing really

well I guess your mugging days are

behind you oh oh my God Phi you used to

mug

people excuse me Ross I'm old friends

catching up I'm here ready to play I

brought a bunch of stuff for the house

so check it out ha

what's this that's a dog every house

should have a dog not one that can pee

on the

roof maybe it's so big because the house

was built on radioactive

waste and is this in case the house

sneezes no no that's the ghost for the

attic I don't want a ghost well nobody

wants a

ghost but you've got one because the

house is sitting on an ancient Indian

burial

ground wait a minute the house was built

on radioactive waste and an ancient

Indian burial

ground that would never happen sorry I

uh I scared you in there oh that's

okay by the way I was just checking the

shower massager yeah

hey tried to reach you at work there's

been a

fire what oh my oh my

God what happened well we believe it

originated

here in the aroma

room all right did everyone get out okay

well the draft's okay and so is the

pirate what is this no phbe don't look

you don't want to see what's under there

the the Foster puppets hey hey did

Rachel find you no why oh she was

looking for you oh well I guess I'll

catch up with you

later well she really want to talk to

you now yeah it uh seemed pretty

important oh

no

what I think I might know what this is

about

really yeah uh uh we promised we were

going to tell anybody this but

uh about a month ago uh Rachel and I

slept

together

and wellow I thought you'd be a little

more shocked uh oh sorry

and well we we said we' just do it that

one time but but now I I think she may

want to start things up again yeah I

don't think that's what it is found you

in my

bed how'd you wind up there you are a

mystery little black curly

hair little black curly hair little

black little black little black little

black little black curly hair

[Music]

thank now if you want to receive emails

about my upcoming shows then please give

me money so I can buy a

computer hey hey what have you guys been

up to oh we went to a self-defense class

today wow yeah kicking a guy in the

crotch all morning really takes it out

of

you takes it out of

you now now we can kick anybody's ass

yeah after one class I don't think so

what you want to see me self-defend

myself go over there and pretend you're

a sexual predator go on I dare

you of course you could defend yourself

from an attack you know is coming that's

not enough look I studied karate for a

long

time and there's a concept you should

really be familiar with it's what the

Japanese call unagi

isn't that a kind of

sushi no it's a concept yeah it is it is

it's freshwater

eel all right maybe it means that too oh

I would kill for a salmon skin roll

right

now no fine get attacked I don't even

care come on Ross we're sorry please

tell us what it

is unagi is a state of total a

awareness okay only by achieving true

unagi can you be prepared for any danger

that may befall

you you mean in case someone's trying to

steal your bamboo sleeping mat or your

kettle of

fish all I'm saying is it's one thing

being prepared for an attack against

like each other whole another story

being prepared for an attack I don't

know like a surprise

all right you knew that was coming but

that doesn't mean you have

unagi oh you know what if we made

reservations we could have unagi in

about a half

hour

was dang Danger

what the hell was that a lesson in the

importance of

unagi you're a

freak

perhaps now I'm curious at what point

during those girlish screams would you

have begun to kick my

ass all right so we Wen

prepared I'm sorry I had to take so

drastic measures to make my point but I

look I just want you guys to be

safe

danger

ahuh

[Music]

unagi Danger

[Applause]

ah Salmon skin

[Music]

roll C say Jack yeah Alex tbec oh of

course Chuck Woolery definitely Phoebe

you will not find a single game show

host whose ass I cannot kick

no say it say we are

unagi it's not something you are it's

something you

have say it you know what I could easily

get out of this but there's a chance you

can get very very

hurt

[Music]

oh uhhuh Nowhere to Run

I don't like sitting up here I'm I'm

going to go over no Rachel they got here

first why is Ross doing that danger oh

my God why is he jumping on those

women we should help

them I I don't think they need any help

a

[Music]

Key Vocabulary

Vocabulary	Meanings
uncomfortable ʌnˈkʌm.fər.tə.bəl A2	adjective - causing discomfort or unease
perhaps pəˈhæps A1	adverb - possibly; maybe
emergency ɪˈmɝː.dʒən.si A2	noun - a serious, unexpected, and often dangerous situation requiring immediate action
distract dɪˈstrækt B1	verb - to divert someone's attention away from something
arrogant ˈær.ə.ɡənt B1	adjective - having or showing an exaggerated sense of one's own importance
Valentine's ˈvæl.ən.taɪnz A2	noun - a day for celebrating love, typically on February 14th
pregnant ˈprɛɡ.nənt A2	adjective - carrying a developing embryo or fetus within the body
hygienist ˈhaɪ.dʒiː.nɪst B2	noun - a person trained to provide dental hygiene services
commitment kəˈmɪt.mənt B1	noun - a pledge or promise to do something
unagi uːˈnɑː.ɡi B2	noun - a state of total awareness; also a type of freshwater eel
proposal prəˈpoʊ.zəl A2	noun - an offer of marriage

Key Grammar Structures

• okay now just remember everything I taught you and you'll be fine okay here we go

  ➔ Conditional Clause (Type 1) - 'If you remember, you'll be fine'

  ➔ The sentence uses a conditional structure to express a likely outcome. The 'if' is implied. The structure is: 'If + present simple, will + base verb'. The phrase 'everything I **taught** you' uses the past simple to describe a completed action.

• okay you have to learn how to ride a bike why why do I have to learn

  ➔ Modal Verb ('have to') expressing obligation, and Wh-questions

  ➔ The phrase 'you **have to** learn' indicates a necessity. The repetition of 'why' emphasizes the speaker's questioning of the obligation. The structure of the Wh-question is 'Wh-word + auxiliary verb + subject + main verb'.

• what if a man comes along and puts a gun to your head and says you ride this bike or I'll shoot you

  ➔ Hypothetical Situation (Second Conditional - implied 'if'), and Future in the 'if' clause

  ➔ The phrase 'what if...' introduces a hypothetical scenario. The structure is similar to a second conditional, but the 'if' is implied. The use of 'I'll shoot you' is a future tense expressing a threat. The verb 'puts' is in the present simple to describe a general truth or habit.

• you won't let go no you swear I swear okay come on

  ➔ Negative Imperative ('won't let go'), and emphatic repetition ('I swear')

  ➔ The phrase 'you won't let go' is a negative command or prohibition. The repetition of 'I swear' is used for emphasis and to reassure the other person. The use of 'okay come on' is an encouragement to proceed.