Great.
00:00
00:02
Get anything that's not Ralph Lauren?
00:02
00:07
>> Yeah, I don't think so, Joe.
00:07
00:11
>> All right, I guess this will be fine.
00:11
00:13
>> Hey, listen. Uh, what are you what are
00:13
00:14
you doing tonight?
00:14
00:15
>> Not that much.
00:15
00:16
>> How would you feel about taking out my
00:16
00:17
assistant tag? I'll pay.
00:17
00:21
>> I got to say, it's going to take a lot
00:21
00:22
of money for me to go out on a date with
00:22
00:23
a dude.
00:23
00:26
>> I'm not asking you to go on a date with
00:26
00:28
him. really cuz I could kind of use the
00:28
00:31
money.
00:31
00:33
>> Joey, just just He's new in town and I
00:33
00:36
know he doesn't have any guy friends.
00:36
00:37
Just take him to like a ball game or
00:37
00:39
something. I'd really appreciate it.
00:39
00:41
>> Yeah. Okay. Sure. No problem.
00:41
00:42
>> Thank you.
00:42
00:43
>> Ooh. Hey, donuts.
00:43
00:44
>> Yeah.
00:44
00:53
>> Come on out, honey. I'm telling you, you
00:53
00:55
look good. Tell her she looks good. Tell
00:55
00:57
her she looks good.
00:57
01:04
Oh my god,
01:04
01:08
>> you look so good.
01:08
01:12
I cannot believe I have to walk down the
01:12
01:14
aisle in front of 200 people looking
01:14
01:16
like something you drink when you're
01:16
01:18
nauseous.
01:18
01:20
>> So don't I don't see why we have to go
01:20
01:22
to this thing anyway. It's your your ex
01:22
01:24
fiance's wedding. Because I promised
01:24
01:27
Mindy I would.
01:27
01:28
>> Yeah, well, you promised Barry you'd
01:28
01:30
marry him.
01:30
01:33
>> Look, you guys, I have to go. I'm the
01:33
01:34
maid of honor. And besides, you know
01:34
01:37
what? I just need to be in a room again
01:37
01:39
with these people and feel good about
01:39
01:41
myself.
01:41
01:53
My god, these pants. I'm burning up.
01:53
01:59
Come on. She wants to snuggle now. What
01:59
02:01
is she trying to kill me? It's like a
02:01
02:03
volcano in here.
02:03
02:07
>> Are you hot?
02:07
02:08
>> No.
02:08
02:10
>> Okay, must just be me then.
02:10
02:26
That was just the pants on the couch.
02:26
02:30
>> Um, hey, do you do you mind if I use
02:30
02:33
your bathroom?
02:33
02:34
>> Oh, go ahead.
02:34
02:35
>> Thanks.
02:35
02:45
Help.
02:45
02:58
Oh.
02:58
03:16
Hey, my favorite part's coming up.
03:16
03:18
>> Okay.
03:18
03:37
Oh my god.
03:37
03:42
>> Hello,
03:42
03:43
>> Joey. It's Ross. I need some help.
03:43
03:46
>> Uh, Chandler's not here.
03:46
03:48
>> Well, you can help me.
03:48
03:51
>> Okay,
03:51
03:52
>> listen. I'm in Elizabeth's bathroom.
03:52
03:55
>> Nice.
03:55
03:57
No, I I got really hot in my leather
03:57
04:00
pants, so I took them off. But they must
04:00
04:02
have shrunk from the the sweat or
04:02
04:04
something or or my legs expanded from
04:04
04:07
the heat. I But I I can't get them back
04:07
04:10
on, Joey. I can't.
04:10
04:14
That is quite a situation.
04:14
04:18
Uh do you see any like powder?
04:18
04:21
>> Powder? Yeah. Yeah, I have powder.
04:21
04:24
>> Good. Good. Okay. Sprinkle some of that
04:24
04:26
on your legs. It'll absorb some of the
04:26
04:27
moisture and then you can get your pants
04:28
04:29
back on.
04:29
04:29
>> Yeah. Hold. Hold on.
04:30
04:54
They're not coming on, man.
04:54
04:57
>> Um, you see any uh Oh, Vaseline.
04:57
05:01
>> I I see lotion. I have lotion. Will that
05:01
05:05
work?
05:05
05:06
>> Yeah, sure. Throw some of that on there.
05:06
05:08
>> Hold on.
05:08
05:24
Ross, you okay?
05:24
05:26
>> They're still They're still not coming
05:26
05:28
on, man. And the lotion and the powder
05:28
05:30
have made a paste.
05:30
05:33
>> Really?
05:33
05:35
Uh what color is it?
05:36
05:39
What difference does that make?
05:39
05:41
>> Well, I'm just If the paste matches the
05:41
05:43
pants, you can make yourself a pair of
05:43
05:45
paste pants and she won't know the
05:45
05:46
difference.
05:46
05:49
>> Joey, do you have a minute?
05:49
05:50
>> Dude, what am I?
05:50
05:51
>> Uh, Rachel's here, so good luck, man.
05:51
05:53
Let me know how it works out.
05:53
05:57
>> Oh, Joey, I have such a problem.
05:57
06:00
>> Uh, well, your timing couldn't be
06:00
06:02
better. I am putting out fires all over
06:02
06:03
the place,
06:03
06:08
>> Ross. Um, you've been in there for a
06:08
06:11
long time. I'm starting to get kind of
06:11
06:14
freaked out.
06:14
06:15
>> All right, I'm coming out.
06:15
06:19
Hey, can you turn the lights off?
06:19
06:24
>> No, let's just leave the lights on.
06:24
06:38
Oh my god.
06:38
06:41
>> I had a problem.
06:41
06:49
>> Wow. I I don't know what to say.
06:49
06:53
>> What do you say?
06:53
06:54
>> I don't know.
06:54
06:57
It's a bracelet, isn't it? And it's a
06:57
06:59
grave, too. Check it out.
06:59
07:02
>> To my best bud.
07:02
07:09
>> Thanks, best bud.
07:09
07:11
Put it on.
07:11
07:12
>> Oh, now.
07:12
07:16
>> No, no. I think something this nice
07:16
07:17
should be saved for a special occasion.
07:17
07:19
>> Oh, no. No. That's the beauty part. It
07:19
07:20
goes with everything. You put this on,
07:20
07:24
YOU'RE GOOD TO GO.
07:24
07:30
OH MAN, you are so wearing that
07:30
07:33
bracelet.
07:33
07:36
>> I sure am.
07:36
07:38
>> Come here. I want to show you something
07:38
07:40
in the bathroom.
07:40
07:41
>> Oh, Monica, grow up.
07:41
07:45
>> Hey, what do you got behind your back?
07:45
07:47
>> Nothing. Just Just something I want to
07:47
07:49
get Phoe's opinion on for Valentine's
07:49
07:51
Day.
07:51
07:51
>> You don't want my opinion?
07:51
07:52
>> Not really.
07:52
07:55
Come on. I'm your older brother. Ask me.
07:55
07:57
>> Oh. Oh, okay. Big brother. Um, which one
07:57
08:00
of these do you think would make your
08:00
08:01
little sister look hotter so your best
08:01
08:03
friend would want to do her?
08:03
08:10
>> The red one.
08:10
08:21
>> So, what do you think?
08:21
08:25
I've still got it.
08:25
08:28
>> Why did you get me this?
08:28
08:30
>> What is it?
08:30
08:31
yelling, bleeding,
08:31
08:34
dilating.
08:34
08:37
Oh, the dilating.
08:37
08:41
>> Is this the video of the baby being
08:41
08:42
born? Sweetie, this is Phoebe's. Why
08:42
08:44
were you even watching it?
08:44
08:50
I thought maybe you got me porn for
08:50
08:53
Valentine's Day.
08:53
08:55
>> Chandler, if you thought I was going to
08:56
08:57
get you porn for Valentine's Day,
08:57
09:00
you were right.
09:00
09:03
>> Apparently, it's it's about a young girl
09:03
09:05
who moves to the big city, you know, in
09:05
09:07
search of stardom, but ends up having
09:07
09:09
sex with a lot of guys.
09:09
09:11
>> Yeah. Got four stars. Oh, wait a minute.
09:11
09:14
Those aren't stars.
09:14
09:17
What do you think?
09:17
09:18
>> Well, I'm not going to have to buy that
09:18
09:19
I'm with stupid t-shirt anymore.
09:19
09:23
>> I like Here you go.
09:23
09:25
>> All right. Look, you're not really going
09:25
09:26
to buy that, are you? Don't you think
09:26
09:27
you've embarrassed me enough for one
09:27
09:28
day?
09:28
09:29
>> Oh, I embarrass you?
09:29
09:30
>> How can I answer that when I'm
09:30
09:31
pretending I don't know you?
09:31
09:34
>> He's just jealous. You'll fit right in.
09:34
09:36
All Londoners wear them.
09:36
09:37
>> Oh, really? Then how come no one here
09:37
09:39
anywhere is wearing one?
09:39
09:42
>> They're all tourists.
09:42
09:45
All right, look. If you insist on
09:45
09:46
wearing that in public, you know, you're
09:46
09:48
going to spend the rest of the afternoon
09:48
09:50
all by yourself.
09:50
09:57
>> You don't make me choose between you and
09:58
09:59
the hat. I choose the hat.
09:59
10:01
>> Good choice. Thanks.
10:01
10:02
>> Okay, look.
10:02
10:03
>> All right, that's it. Okay, I'm out of
10:03
10:05
here. I'm not going to be embarrassed
10:05
10:06
anymore.
10:06
10:10
>> Hey guys, guess what?
10:10
10:17
got a job on a riverboat.
10:17
10:21
>> You know what? I didn't wear this suit
10:21
10:22
for a year because you hated it. Well,
10:22
10:24
guess what? You're not my girlfriend
10:24
10:25
anymore. So
10:25
10:26
>> Oh, I see. So, this suit is making a
10:26
10:28
point.
10:28
10:29
>> Now that you're on your own, you're free
10:29
10:31
to look as stupid as you'd like.
10:31
10:34
>> You like it, right?
10:34
10:35
>> Oh, absolutely. I like it even more on
10:35
10:37
you than I did on Colonel Sanders.
10:37
10:39
>> Ross. Ross, I'm kidding.
10:39
10:41
>> Yeah. Mirror, what were you going to
10:41
10:42
tell us? Yeah. Oh, was it how you
10:42
10:44
invented the cotton chin?
10:44
10:45
>> Okay. Goodbye.
10:45
10:49
>> Hey.
10:49
10:49
>> Hey. So, what do you think?
10:49
10:53
>> New haircut, necklace, dress, boots,
10:53
10:58
boots.
10:58
11:00
>> Now, they're a little more than I
11:00
11:01
usually spend on boots. Um, or rent.
11:01
11:05
>> Oh my god.
11:05
11:07
>> I know.
11:07
11:08
>> I'm going to miss being able to afford
11:08
11:09
food.
11:09
11:11
>> I'm sorry. They just they just look so
11:11
11:13
good. And the saleswoman was looking at
11:13
11:15
me like, "These are way too expensive
11:15
11:16
for you."
11:16
11:17
>> She had a point.
11:17
11:21
>> Hi.
11:21
11:22
>> Oh my god. Oh, Monica, those boots are
11:22
11:26
amazing.
11:26
11:27
>> They're mine.
11:27
11:30
>> Yeah. Well, too bad. We're going to have
11:30
11:31
to return them.
11:31
11:32
>> Return them? Shh. They're going to hear
11:32
11:34
you.
11:34
11:36
>> I I'm not returning them, okay? I mean,
11:36
11:37
I I know they cost a lot, but I'm going
11:37
11:39
to wear them all the time. You'll see.
11:39
11:41
Besides, I love the compliments.
11:41
11:44
I mean, have you ever had something that
11:44
11:45
was so beautiful that everyone wants it?
11:46
11:47
>> I have you.
11:47
11:49
>> Nice try. I'm keeping the boots.
11:49
11:52
>> 10 blocks down, five to go.
11:52
11:55
>> Oh, wait. Stop. Stop. Stop.
11:55
11:57
>> Oh, I'm sorry. Do you need a break?
11:57
12:01
>> My boots in tan. Hey, can you get a
12:01
12:03
little closer so I can see the price?
12:03
12:05
>> I can see it from right here. It'll cost
12:05
12:07
you one husband.
12:07
12:09
>> Okay. I'm sorry. I think I I can walk
12:09
12:11
the rest of the way now. Just Just give
12:11
12:12
me my boots.
12:12
12:15
>> I don't have your boots.
12:15
12:17
>> Well, I don't have them either. Where
12:17
12:18
are they?
12:18
12:19
>> Well, why don't you check in one of my
12:19
12:20
saddle bags while I chew on a bail of
12:20
12:22
hay?
12:22
12:25
>> Okay.
12:25
12:26
God, we got to go back and get them.
12:26
12:28
>> Honey, are you seriously ever going to
12:28
12:30
wear the boots again?
12:30
12:32
>> Okay, I'm never going to wear them
12:32
12:33
again.
12:33
12:35
Just didn't get a chance to say goodbye.
12:35
12:38
>> You know what? You can say goodbye to
12:38
12:40
the tan ones.
12:40
12:41
>> Okay.
12:42
12:43
All right.
12:43
12:45
>> Okay.
12:45
12:46
>> Bye, Boots.
12:46
12:48
>> WAIT, HALF OFF.
12:48
12:50
>> KNOW WHAT I'M GOING to do about this
12:50
12:51
coat?
12:51
12:52
>> I'll take it.
12:52
12:54
>> That might work.
12:54
12:55
>> Oh, yeah.
12:55
13:02
>> All right. Who do you think?
13:02
13:04
>> You're on in five, Miss Manelli.
13:04
13:09
Hey.
13:09
13:09
>> Hi.
13:09
13:10
>> Hey, you guys. Uh, I need some fashion
13:10
13:12
advice.
13:12
13:12
>> Oh,
13:12
13:14
>> how does this look?
13:14
13:22
>> Well, it's it's a little low. Pick it up
13:22
13:24
a little.
13:24
13:26
A little bit more.
13:26
13:28
A little bit more. There you go.
13:28
13:32
Now throw it away.
13:32
13:35
>> Come on. This looks good.
13:35
13:37
>> Ross, please. Trust me. I buy 30 fashion
13:37
13:39
magazines a month. Now, I don't know
13:39
13:41
who's running for president or who that
13:41
13:43
NATO guy is, but I do know that you have
13:43
13:45
to get as far away as you can from that
13:45
13:46
hat.
13:46
13:48
>> Damn it. I have this date tomorrow night
13:48
13:51
and I have to look cool.
13:51
13:53
>> Well, you know, if you want fashion
13:53
13:54
help, Rachel and I are going shopping
13:54
13:56
tomorrow. You're more than welcome to
13:56
13:57
come with us, right?
13:57
13:58
>> Really? That would be great. I I mean, I
13:58
14:00
have to do something. She kind of teased
14:00
14:02
me about how I dress.
14:02
14:03
>> I can see why. Nice shirt.
14:03
14:06
You're wearing the same shirt.
14:06
14:11
>> Stupid gap on every corner.
14:11
14:18
>> Wow, this place is awesome.
14:18
14:20
>> You know what? We should just go. I'm
14:20
14:21
not going to find anything here. This
14:21
14:23
stuff is ridiculous. Oh,
14:23
14:25
>> this place is great.
14:25
14:28
>> Wow.
14:28
14:29
>> Ra, come on. I'm not going to wear any
14:29
14:31
of this. Nothing silver. Okay. Nothing
14:31
14:34
with hair and nothing with padlocks on
14:34
14:37
it. Of
14:37
14:39
>> course, look. Look. I know that some of
14:39
14:40
this stuff is out there, but I mean,
14:40
14:42
come on. Look at this. Look at this
14:42
14:44
sweater. I mean, this is just beautiful.
14:44
14:47
>> Wow. This is really soft.
14:47
14:50
$350
14:50
14:52
>> down from $700. You're saving like 200
14:52
14:55
bucks.
14:55
14:58
>> Both logic and math are taking a serious
14:58
15:01
hit today.
15:01
15:03
Hey, check this out. It's totally you.
15:03
15:06
>> Wow.
15:06
15:07
>> Yeah.
15:07
15:11
>> Wow. Actually, this this looks pretty
15:12
15:13
good.
15:13
15:14
>> Yeah.
15:14
15:19
>> Boys will be boys.
15:19
15:22
>> What? They will be.
15:22
15:23
>> All right, that's it. I'm getting out of
15:23
15:25
here.
15:25
15:25
>> No, no, no, Russ. Wait. Come on. All
15:25
15:27
right. You know what? There's other
15:27
15:28
stuff. Here's some nice shirts. Look at
15:28
15:29
these these nice pants. Huh? Actually,
15:29
15:32
these these might look pretty good on
15:32
15:34
me.
15:34
15:34
>> Yes, they will. You know what you should
15:34
15:36
do? Just go take a walk. All right. I
15:36
15:37
know your size and I'm going to I'm
15:37
15:39
going to pick out some really good stuff
15:39
15:40
for you.
15:40
15:41
>> Really?
15:41
15:41
>> Yes. And I know what looks sexy on guys.
15:42
15:44
Please just wear what I suggest and she
15:44
15:45
is going to go nuts for you.
15:46
15:47
>> So, you're saying uh if I wear these
15:47
15:50
pants, I might be getting into hers.
15:50
15:54
>> Why do men keep talking to me like this?
15:54
15:59
>> Some really great stuff. Yeah. Yeah. But
15:59
16:02
I'm not sure about some of the bras I
16:02
16:04
got. Oh, really? Do you want to try some
16:04
16:06
of them on for me? Oh, okay.
16:06
16:09
Wait, are we in Joey's imagination?
16:09
16:14
>> Oh, no. I took one of Ross's bags by
16:14
16:16
mistake. And one of mine is missing. Oh,
16:16
16:19
well, Ross probably has it. You can get
16:19
16:20
it from him later.
16:20
16:27
>> So, what do you think?
16:27
16:33
Think we're not wearing the same shirt
16:33
16:34
anymore.
16:34
16:37
>> Yeah. Yeah. Rachel picked it out for me.
16:37
16:39
She told me to trust her. And you know
16:39
16:41
what? I'm glad I did. I turned quite a
16:41
16:43
few heads on my way over here.
16:43
16:47
>> Dude, I really don't think you should be
16:47
16:49
wearing that.
16:49
16:51
>> Oh, I see. Somebody's afraid of a little
16:51
16:54
competition with the ladies.
16:54
16:57
>> Looks like someone is the ladies.
16:57
17:01
You're just jealous because you couldn't
17:01
17:03
pull this off. Yeah. Now, if you'll
17:03
17:05
excuse me, I have a date.
17:05
17:10
>> See? All eyes on me.
17:10
17:18
>> Wow, this place looks great.
17:18
17:20
>> Oh, you are going to love it. And I'm so
17:20
17:22
glad we're finally doing this.
17:22
17:25
>> Me, too.
17:25
17:26
>> Here.
17:26
17:36
So this was fun.
17:36
17:46
>> Hey you guys, check it out. Check it
17:46
17:48
out. Guess what job I just got?
17:48
17:52
>> I don't know, but Donald Trump wants his
17:52
17:53
blue blazer black.
17:54
17:58
What? Blue blazer back. He He wants it
17:58
18:01
back.
18:01
18:04
>> You said black. Why would he want his
18:04
18:06
blue blazer back?
18:06
18:09
>> Well, you you you know what I meant.
18:09
18:11
>> No, you messed it up.
18:11
18:14
You're stupid.
18:14
18:16
>> Do you Are you going to separate those?
18:16
18:19
>> Oh god.
18:20
18:21
>> Oh, am I being like a total laundry
18:21
18:23
spad? I mean, am I supposed to use like
18:23
18:26
one machine for shirts and another
18:26
18:27
machine for pants?
18:27
18:32
>> Have you Have you never done this
18:32
18:34
before?
18:34
18:35
>> Well, not myself, but I I know other
18:35
18:37
people that have.
18:37
18:40
>> Okay, you caught me. I'm a laundry
18:40
18:42
virgin.
18:42
18:45
>> Uh, well, don't worry. I'll use the
18:45
18:47
gentle side.
18:47
18:50
>> Okay. Um
18:50
18:53
uh basically you want to use one machine
18:53
18:55
for all your whites.
18:55
18:57
>> Whites.
18:57
18:57
>> Okay. A whole another machine for for
18:57
18:59
your colors.
18:59
19:00
>> And and third for uh your uh
19:00
19:04
uh delicates and that would be your bras
19:04
19:08
and your under panty things.
19:08
19:13
>> Okay. Well, what about these are white
19:13
19:16
cotton panties. Would they go with
19:16
19:17
whites with delicates? Uh that that that
19:17
19:20
would be a judgment call.
19:20
19:24
>> Okay.
19:24
19:26
>> See,
19:26
19:27
>> she stole my jeans.
19:27
19:31
>> What?
19:31
19:33
>> I have been looking for them all week
19:34
19:35
and she is wearing them.
19:35
19:37
>> So she stole your pants and then she
19:37
19:39
came back and wore them in front of you.
19:39
19:41
>> Don't you see? It's the perfect crime.
19:42
19:45
>> She must have been planning this for
19:45
19:47
years.
19:47
19:49
I will prove it to you. Okay. About a
19:49
19:51
week ago, I was wearing those jeans and
19:51
19:53
I dropped a pen in my lap and it left an
19:53
19:54
ink staining on the crotch. Now, when
19:54
19:56
she comes back, I will find it and show
19:56
19:58
you that same.
19:58
20:01
Shouldn't we give her the benefit of the
20:01
20:02
doubt before we go snooping around her
20:02
20:05
crotch?
20:05
20:07
>> I'm quitting. I just helped an
20:07
20:09
81year-old woman put on a thong and she
20:09
20:11
didn't even buy it.
20:11
20:13
I'm telling you, I'm quitting. That's
20:13
20:14
it. I'm talking to my boss right now.
20:14
20:16
Yes, I am. Yes, I am. Yes, I am. Yes, I
20:16
20:19
am. Yes, I am. Yes, I am. Okay, bye.
20:19
20:20
Call me when you get this message.
20:20
20:23
>> Oh, Mr. Walam, I uh really need to talk
20:23
20:26
to you.
20:26
20:26
>> In a moment, please. I'm in the middle
20:26
20:28
of a task and you have a customer.
20:28
20:34
>> Hi.
20:34
20:35
>> Hi. I'm Joshua.
20:35
20:36
>> Hi. I'm Rachel Green. What can I do for
20:36
20:38
you, Joshua?
20:38
20:40
>> Well, uh, I need a whole new wardrobe.
20:40
20:42
My wife, well, my exwife. Oh, I'm so
20:42
20:46
sorry.
20:46
20:51
>> Anyway, she burned all of my clothes, so
20:51
20:54
I got away with two things. This suit
20:54
20:56
and what turned out to be a uh skirt.
20:56
21:00
>> Well, at least that's a great suit.
21:00
21:02
>> Yeah, but it wasn't much fun dropping it
21:02
21:03
off at the dry cleaners in the skirt.
21:03
21:08
>> So, I need everything down to underwear.
21:08
21:10
So, if you're willing, I'm uh I'm all
21:10
21:12
yours.
21:12
21:14
Okay,
21:14
21:16
>> Rachel, you needed to speak to me.
21:16
21:17
>> No, no, that wasn't me.
21:17
21:21
>> Well, we should get started. Let me show
21:21
21:23
you my underwear.
21:24
21:28
>> The selection of underwear that we
21:28
21:29
carry.
21:29
21:34
>> Oh, I'm sorry. It's this way. It's this
21:34
21:35
way.
21:35
21:35
>> It's this way. Sorry.
21:35
21:38
>> Honey, I'm old.
21:38
21:42
What's wrong?
21:42
21:43
>> I am so much older than these other
21:43
21:45
interns. I can't I can't compete with
21:45
21:47
them.
21:47
21:48
>> But I saw you were a little older. Got
21:48
21:50
to look at the positive. You have all
21:50
21:52
this life experience.
21:52
21:53
>> Yes, but I don't think life experience
21:53
21:55
is going to help me with these.
21:55
21:59
>> Wow.
21:59
22:02
It's like they're on fire.
22:02
22:09
>> What are they? They are these prototype
22:09
22:11
sneakers and I have to come up with
22:11
22:13
ideas on how to sell them, which I can't
22:13
22:14
do because no self-respecting adult
22:14
22:16
would ever wear these.
22:16
22:17
>> I'll give you $500 for them.
22:17
22:23
>> What am I supposed to do with these?
22:23
22:25
>> Come on. Sneakers are easy. You wear
22:25
22:27
sneakers all the time.
22:27
22:28
>> Well, first of all, they're not called
22:28
22:29
sneakers anymore. Apparently, they're
22:29
22:31
called kicks or skids. And I think I
22:31
22:34
heard somebody say slurps.
22:34
22:38
Here, look. They got these wheels that
22:38
22:40
pop out from the bottom so you can roll
22:40
22:41
around because apparently walking is too
22:41
22:43
much exercise.
22:43
22:45
Kids, kids, roll your way to childhood
22:45
22:48
obesity.
22:48
22:51
Would you help me try to sell these?
22:52
22:54
>> Okay. Have you considered using a girl
22:54
22:57
with huge knockers?
22:57
23:00
>> I don't think that's the kind of thing
23:00
23:01
they're looking for.
23:01
23:02
>> Hey, that'd work on me.
23:02
23:04
>> Why do you think I'd buy Mrs.
23:04
23:05
Butterwarts?
23:05
23:07
>> You know what? These aren't half bad.
23:07
23:09
You should suggest something like these
23:09
23:10
to Ralph Lauren.
23:10
23:12
>> Okay, first of all, that's stupid. And
23:12
23:13
second of all, I'm not allowed to talk
23:13
23:15
to Ralph.
23:15
23:17
>> All right,
23:17
23:19
I feel younger already.
23:19
23:23
>> What's in the bag?
23:23
23:26
>> Just some presents.
23:26
23:27
>> Come on, show us what you bought.
23:27
23:29
>> You know you want to.
23:30
23:33
Okay.
23:33
23:36
Okay. Hey, this is a picture frame from
23:36
23:39
Ben to my parents.
23:39
23:42
>> I got some uh hers and hers towels for
23:42
23:44
Susan and Carol.
23:44
23:48
>> And uh I got this blouse for mom.
23:48
23:51
>> Poss. That is gorgeous.
23:52
23:53
>> Look at these authentic fake metals. I
23:54
23:57
>> tell you, mom's going to be voted best
23:57
23:58
dressed at the Makebelie Military
23:58
24:00
Academy.
24:00
24:06
Thank you.
24:06
24:09
>> Oh, thank you very much.
24:09
24:13
>> Oh, thank you for coming.
24:13
24:19
>> Uh, just a second.
24:19
24:20
>> No, no, let me in,
24:20
24:22
>> Phoebe.
24:22
24:22
>> Yeah. C,
24:22
24:23
>> can you hold on just one minute?
24:23
24:24
>> No, you have to let me in right now.
24:24
24:29
>> Are you alone?
24:29
24:30
>> Yes.
24:30
24:32
>> ALL RIGHT.
24:32
24:39
I GOT IT.
24:39
24:44
CONGRATULATIONS.
24:44
24:47
>> OKAY. My turn. My turn.
24:47
24:49
>> Okay.
24:49
24:51
Okay. Ready.
24:51
24:56
>> Okay.
24:56
25:02
That was a terrible throw. I'm not going
25:02
25:04
to throw it right to you. That's not
25:04
25:06
real.
25:06
25:08
>> Look at me. My big concern is what's
25:08
25:11
real.
25:11
25:15
>> Oh my god.
25:15
25:17
We're really sad, aren't we?
25:18
25:22
>> Yeah, I think we are.
25:22
25:25
>> This isn't even my dress. Well, at least
25:25
25:28
you didn't rent yours from a store
25:28
25:29
called It's Not Too Late.
25:29
25:39
I'm changing out of this.
25:39
25:40
>> Me, too.
25:40
25:42
>> In like a half an hour.
25:42
25:44
>> Me, too. Okay. All right. Now, throw it
25:44
25:47
straight this time.
25:47
25:48
>> Okay. Okay.
25:48
25:50
>> I'm getting married.
25:50
25:52
>> I feel blue.
25:52
25:56
>> I bet you anything he's going to call
25:56
25:58
you again.
25:58
25:59
>> Yeah, maybe. But, you know, I don't
25:59
26:01
think I even care.
26:01
26:03
I don't think he's the one I'm sad
26:04
26:06
about.
26:06
26:08
You know, I know that I said I'm totally
26:08
26:10
okay with Ross getting married, but as
26:10
26:13
it turns out, I don't think I am
26:13
26:16
handling it all that well.
26:16
26:18
>> Yeah, maybe.
26:18
26:21
>> And and I'm just trying to figure out
26:21
26:23
why.
26:23
26:24
>> Any luck?
26:24
26:25
>> Well, yeah. Yeah. I mean, you know how
26:25
26:27
Ross and I have always been on again,
26:27
26:28
off again, on again, off again.
26:28
26:31
I guess I just figured that somewhere
26:31
26:33
down the road we would be on again
26:33
26:37
again.
26:37
26:39
>> You know what? I think we all did.
26:39
26:44
>> Hey.
26:44
26:44
>> Hey. Hey.
26:44
26:50
>> So, got us reservations for Sunday
26:50
26:53
night. Okay. How about Ernie's at 9:00?
26:53
26:56
>> Yeah. Well, you uh better make it for 3.
26:56
26:59
>> Oh, see, I I don't know if we're going
26:59
27:01
to be hungry at 3.
27:01
27:06
Three people. Joshua's not going to be
27:06
27:09
there.
27:09
27:10
>> What happened?
27:10
27:11
>> Um, well, I think I think he broke up
27:11
27:13
with me.
27:13
27:15
>> No. Why? Well,
27:15
27:17
>> apparently he scares easy.
27:17
27:21
I'm
27:21
27:22
>> I'm sorry.
27:22
27:24
It's okay.
27:24
27:26
>> Sometimes
27:26
27:28
things don't work out the way you
27:28
27:30
thought they would.
27:30
27:33
>> Come here.
27:33
27:41
>> Oh, hey. Don't you have to go pick up
27:41
27:43
Emily?
27:43
27:44
>> Yeah.
27:44
27:45
>> Yeah.
27:45
27:47
>> Are you okay?
27:47
27:47
>> Yeah. And I got my girls.
27:48
27:54
Okay.
27:54
28:10
>> Hey, you know who might cheer you up?
28:10
28:13
>> What?
28:13
28:18
You know, I got to tell you, this really
28:18
28:20
does put me in a better mood.
28:20
28:24
>> I wish there was a job where I could
28:24
28:26
wear this all the time.
28:26
28:29
>> Maybe someday there will be.
28:29
28:33
>> Oh, God. That's Chandler. He's going to
28:33
28:35
come by and borrow some candles for his
28:35
28:36
big date.
28:36
28:37
>> Oh, okay.
28:37
28:37
>> No. No. Rachel, don't get it. See us.
28:37
28:40
>> No. Yeah. The groom cannot see the
28:40
28:42
bride.
28:42
28:43
>> You're not going to marry Chandler.
28:43
28:45
>> Not after this.
28:45
28:48
Okay, guys. Just relax.
28:48
28:56
>> I do.
28:56
29:01
>> I got to go.
29:01
29:05
>> Mona.
29:05
29:30
Okay. If I were a salmon shirt, where
29:30
29:33
would I be?
29:33
29:41
>> I am so sorry. Sorry, I spilled wine all
29:41
29:44
over your shirt.
29:44
29:45
>> Oh, it's okay.
29:45
29:47
>> No, it's still wet. You know what? Let
29:47
29:48
me get it out before it sets. Oh, I have
29:48
29:50
something you could wear.
29:50
29:55
>> Here.
29:56
29:57
>> Oh,
29:57
29:58
I don't know if I want to wear a woman's
29:58
30:00
shirt.
30:00
30:02
>> No, no, that that's a man's shirt.
30:02
30:04
>> Aly pink.
30:04
30:20
Oh,
30:20
30:45
Oh my god, Ross.
30:45
30:48
>> Hello,
30:48
30:51
>> Ros. What are you doing?
30:51
30:53
>> Not touching myself. If that makes
30:53
30:55
anyone less uncomfortable.
30:55
30:57
>> Now, Joe, you know that since you're
30:57
30:58
returning all of this stuff after the
30:58
31:00
audition, you're going to have to wear
31:00
31:01
underwear.
31:01
31:03
>> All right. Well, you better show me some
31:03
31:05
of that, too, then.
31:05
31:08
>> Okay. Hey, it's missing something.
31:08
31:10
Oh, I know. Um, okay.
31:10
31:18
>> Really? A purse?
31:18
31:19
>> It's not a purse. It's a shoulder bag.
31:20
31:23
>> Looks like a woman's purse.
31:23
31:25
>> No, Joey. Look. Trust me. I'm telling
31:25
31:27
all the men are carrying them in the
31:27
31:29
spring catalog. Look. See? Look. Men
31:29
31:32
carrying the bag.
31:32
31:33
>> See? Look. Women carrying the bag.
31:34
31:44
But it is odd how a woman's purse looks
31:44
31:47
so good on me. A man.
31:47
31:50
>> Exactly. Unisex.
31:50
31:52
>> Maybe you need sex. I had sex a couple
31:52
31:54
days ago.
31:54
31:57
>> No, Joey. You and I sex.
31:57
32:02
>> Well, I ain't going to say no to that.
32:02
32:10
Hey. Hey.
32:10
32:19
>> Wow, you look just like your son, Mrs.
32:19
32:21
Tribani.
32:21
32:23
>> What are you referring to? My man's bag.
32:23
32:27
At first, I thought it just looked good,
32:27
32:29
but it's practical, too. Check it out.
32:29
32:31
It's got compartments for all your
32:31
32:33
stuff. Your wallet, your keys, your
32:33
32:35
address book, your makeup.
32:35
32:39
>> Joey, what are you doing with the bag?
32:39
32:40
Your audition's not till tomorrow.
32:40
32:42
>> Yeah, but sandwich time is right now.
32:42
32:45
>> Joey, you know, you get any mustard on
32:45
32:46
that bag, you can't return it.
32:46
32:48
>> Why would I ever return this? I love
32:48
32:49
this bag.
32:49
32:51
>> All right. Well, then you owe me $350.
32:51
32:54
>> Fine. Do you take Vasa or Mooster Card,
32:54
32:59
>> Joey?
32:59
33:00
>> All right, relax. Look, I'll pay you
33:00
33:01
with the money from the acting job I am
33:02
33:03
definitely going to get thanks to you.
33:03
33:05
>> What's the part? Auntie Mame.
33:05
33:09
>> Don't listen to them. I think it's sexy.
33:09
33:12
>> You and I, sexy.
33:12
33:19
>> Hey, I'm off to my audition. How do I
33:20
33:22
look?
33:22
33:24
>> I think you look great. Joey, that bag
33:24
33:26
is going to get you that part.
33:26
33:27
>> And a date with a man.
33:27
33:30
You know what? Make fun all you want.
33:30
33:32
This is a great bag, okay? And it's as
33:32
33:35
handy as it is becoming.
33:35
33:38
Now, just because you don't understand
33:38
33:40
something doesn't make it wrong. All
33:40
33:42
right? So, from now on, you guys are
33:42
33:43
going to have to get used to the fact
33:44
33:45
that Joey comes with a bag.
33:45
33:49
>> Ready, Joey?
33:49
33:51
>> Well, you must be new here. Maybe we get
33:52
33:54
a table, I'd buy you a drink.
33:54
33:56
>> I'm sorry. Could you Could you try it
33:56
33:58
without the purse?
33:58
34:01
Yeah, sure.
34:01
34:06
Well, you must be new here. Maybe we
34:06
34:09
sit. I'm sorry. Can I ask you something?
34:09
34:12
>> Sure. What?
34:12
34:13
>> Well, first, it's not a purse.
34:13
34:17
Okay. Anytime.
34:17
34:19
>> I mean, if if you're thinking it's a
34:19
34:21
woman's bag, it's not. It's a man's bag.
34:21
34:25
Okay. And go.
34:25
34:29
I Let me show you the catalog.
34:29
34:31
Look. See? Huh? It's the latest thing.
34:31
34:35
Everyone's got one. Men, women,
34:35
34:37
children, everyone's carrying them. Um,
34:37
34:39
do you sell these bags?
34:39
34:42
>> Oh, no, no, no, no, no. These babies
34:42
34:44
sell themselves.
34:44
34:47
>> Okay. Thank you. That was great.
34:47
34:49
>> Yeah, but I didn't even read anything.
34:49
34:51
>> I think we've seen enough.
34:51
34:54
Okay. All right. I'll see you. We got
34:54
34:57
it. We got it.
34:57
34:59
>> Hi. I need those earrings you borrowed.
34:59
35:04
>> Oh. Um. Okay.
35:04
35:06
>> Yeah. I'll be I'll be right back. Okay.
35:06
35:18
>> Wow. Fees. You speak Italian?
35:18
35:19
>> I guess so.
35:20
35:25
>> There you go. Thank you. Wait, Rich.
35:25
35:27
Where's the other one? Oh, wait. You
35:27
35:29
want both of them?
35:29
35:31
Rachel Karen Green, where's the other
35:31
35:33
earring? Okay. Okay. Okay. Look, just
35:33
35:35
don't freak out, but I kind of lost it.
35:35
35:37
Oh, I know it's in the apartment, but I
35:37
35:39
definitely lost it. Well, what am I
35:39
35:41
going to tell Monica? She wants to wear
35:41
35:43
them tonight. I don't tell her to wear
35:43
35:45
her own earrings. These are her
35:45
35:47
earrings. No. No. You lent me Monica's
35:47
35:51
earrings. I'm not allowed to borrow her
35:51
35:53
stuff.
35:53
35:55
>> Why not? because I lose her stuff.
35:55
36:02
>> Okay, look. We have 19 minutes, okay?
36:02
36:04
Chandler, I want you to go and change,
36:04
36:05
okay? And then when you come back, Joey
36:05
36:07
will go change and he'll have vacated
36:07
36:09
the chair. Okay? Okay.
36:09
36:11
>> All right. Fine. I'm going. But when I
36:11
36:14
GET BACK, IT'S CHAIR CITY, AND I'M THE
36:14
36:16
GUY WHO'S sitting in a chair.
36:16
36:21
>> Where's my underwear?
36:21
36:22
>> Whoa, whoa, whoa. Come on. Come on.
36:22
36:24
What? You took his underwear? He took my
36:24
36:26
essence.
36:26
36:27
>> Okay, hold on,
36:27
36:29
>> Joey. Why Why can't you just wear the
36:29
36:31
underwear you're wearing now?
36:31
36:32
>> Cuz I'm not wearing any underwear now.
36:32
36:36
>> Okay. Um, then why do you have to wear
36:36
36:38
underwear tonight?
36:38
36:39
>> It's a rented tux. Okay. Not going to go
36:39
36:41
commando in another man's fatigue.
36:41
36:46
>> Well, then it looks like somebody's
36:46
36:47
going to have to give somebody back his
36:48
36:49
cushions.
36:49
36:51
>> Okay, you hide my clothes. I'm going to
36:51
36:53
do the exact opposite to you.
36:53
36:57
What are you What are you going to show
36:57
36:59
me? My clothes. Hey, opposite
36:59
37:03
is opposite.
37:03
37:06
He's got nothing.
37:06
37:16
>> Okay, buddy boy. Here it is.
37:16
37:19
You hide my clothes. I'm wearing
37:19
37:21
everything you own.
37:21
37:24
Oh my god,
37:24
37:27
that is so NOT THE OPPOSITE OF TAKING
37:27
37:29
SOMEBODY'S UNDERWEAR. Look at me. I'm
37:29
37:32
Chandler. Could I be wearing any more
37:32
37:34
clothes?
37:34
37:37
Maybe if I wasn't going commando.
37:37
37:43
Yeah,
37:43
37:45
I'll tell you, it's hot with all this
37:45
37:46
stuff on. I uh I better not do any I
37:46
37:48
don't know, lunges.
37:48
37:53
Okay. Okay. Enough. But enough not for
37:53
37:55
the lunching. No. I'm sick of this.
37:55
37:56
Okay. I've had up to here with you two.
37:56
37:58
Neither of you can come to the party.
37:58
38:01
Jeez. What a baby.
38:01
38:03
>> You just be yourself. They live on the
38:03
38:05
Upper East Side on Park Avenue.
38:06
38:08
>> Oh, yeah. She can't be herself.
38:08
38:10
>> Okay. So, all right. Which dress?
38:10
38:18
>> You can say neither.
38:18
38:19
>> Oh god. Neither. Neither.
38:19
38:22
>> I'm sorry, honey. We're going to take
38:22
38:23
you shopping. It's going to be fine.
38:23
38:25
>> Yeah, totally. You are in such good
38:25
38:26
hands. And I am so good with meeting
38:26
38:28
parents with the father. You know, you
38:28
38:30
want to flirt a little bit, but not in a
38:30
38:31
gross way. Just kind of like, "Oh, Mr.
38:31
38:34
Pinser. I can see where Wallace gets his
38:34
38:36
good looks."
38:36
38:37
>> You went out with Wallace Pinser.
38:37
38:39
>> Oh, he took the SATs for me.
38:39
38:42
>> I knew you didn't get a 1400.
38:42
38:45
>> Well, duh.
38:45
38:47
So now, what about with Mike's mom?
38:47
38:50
>> Oh, well, with the mother, just just
38:50
38:52
constantly tell her how amazing her son
38:52
38:54
is. Take it from me. Moms love me.
38:54
38:56
Ross's mom one time actually said, "I am
38:56
38:58
like the daughter that she never had."
38:58
39:04
She said, "What? That she's like the
39:04
39:07
daughter she never had."
39:07
39:09
You and I were talking and and I was so
39:09
39:12
upset about the hall being knocked down
39:12
39:14
and she suggested that we just put the
39:14
39:16
wedding off for a bit.
39:16
39:21
>> She said, "What?"
39:21
39:22
>> She said, "If I'm not going to be happy
39:22
39:23
getting married somewhere that we can
39:23
39:25
find in a day, well, then we should just
39:25
39:26
postpone it."
39:26
39:30
>> Postpone it.
39:30
39:33
>> Emily, do you think Monica realizes how
39:33
39:35
much our parents spent on this wedding?
39:36
39:38
Huh? Do you think my sister's teeny tiny
39:38
39:40
little brain comprehends that people
39:40
39:43
took time out of their lives to fly
39:43
39:46
thousands of miles to be here? Huh?
39:46
39:52
>> This isn't right.
39:52
39:55
>> I realize that people are going to be
39:55
39:56
disappointed,
39:56
39:58
but I'm sure they'll come back when we
39:58
39:59
can do it right.
39:59
40:00
>> Well, I can't ask people to do that.
40:00
40:02
Would you ask people to do that?
40:02
40:04
>> Don't you point your pants at me.
40:04
40:08
We have no choice. Anywhere that's half
40:08
40:11
decent will have been booked months ago.
40:11
40:12
Ross, don't you understand? This is our
40:12
40:14
wedding I'm talking about.
40:14
40:15
>> The only thing I understand is
40:15
40:17
postponing it is not an option. This is
40:17
40:19
when we're getting married.
40:19
40:20
>> So, what are you saying? It's now or
40:20
40:22
never.
40:22
40:22
>> No, I'm saying it's now
40:22
40:23
>> or
40:23
40:24
>> there's no or in mine.
40:24
40:26
>> What is wrong with these pants?
40:26
40:31
>> It's not the pants. It's you who's
40:31
40:32
backwards. And if and if you don't
40:32
40:34
understand how important this is to me,
40:34
40:36
well then perhaps we shouldn't be
40:36
40:37
getting married at all.
40:37
40:39
>> What?
40:39
40:39
>> Emily, NO. WAIT. STOP. EMILY, PLEASE.
40:39
40:43
>> HEY, come on. Daddy needs a new pair of
40:44
40:46
electromagnetic microscopes for the
40:46
40:48
prehistoric forensics department.
40:48
40:56
Okay. Take Pinky Tuscadero up to
40:56
40:59
inspiration point. Collect three cool
40:59
41:01
points. Yeah. which gives me five. And
41:01
41:05
let's see who is going to lose their
41:05
41:06
clothes. Um, I think I pick our strip
41:06
41:09
poker sponsor, Mr. Joey Tribani.
41:10
41:15
>> All right, relax. It's just a shoe.
41:16
41:20
>> Okay, your band is playing at Arnold's.
41:20
41:22
Collect three cool points, which means I
41:22
41:26
have five. And that means I get Joey's
41:26
41:29
boxers.
41:29
41:36
Fine, gang up on me. I got you all right
41:36
41:39
where I want you.
41:39
41:41
>> Come on, take them off.
41:41
41:43
>> Actually, you know, it's kind of cold.
41:43
41:45
So, how about I keep my boxers on and
41:45
41:47
give you all a peek at the good stuff.
41:47
41:51
>> Look, I feel really bad about how I
41:51
41:53
freaked you out before, so I called the
41:53
41:56
father and asked him to meet you here so
41:56
41:57
you could tell him. Go. What? Hey, wait
41:57
41:59
a minute. Baby, how do you even know who
41:59
42:01
the father is? I may play the fool at
42:01
42:04
times, but I'm a little more than just a
42:04
42:07
pretty blonde girl with an ass that
42:07
42:09
won't quit.
42:09
42:12
I believe this belongs to the father of
42:12
42:14
your baby.
42:14
42:16
>> Oh god.
42:16
42:19
Oh, he's in there right now.
42:19
42:20
>> Uh-huh. Now you can turn around or you
42:20
42:23
can go in there and rip the band-aid
42:23
42:25
off. What do you want to do?
42:25
42:28
Oh,
42:28
42:29
>> let's rip.
42:29
42:30
>> Really? Are you sure? Oh, Phoebe. Okay,
42:30
42:32
sorry. Yeah.
42:32
42:36
>> Hey, Ra.
42:36
42:39
>> So, what's this about?
42:39
42:41
>> Rachel has something that she wants to
42:41
42:43
tell you. And um I believe that this is
42:43
42:46
your red sweater.
42:46
42:48
>> No,
42:48
42:51
>> this is my red sweater.
42:51
42:55
>> Oh, no.
42:55
42:59
Could I get anyone a coffee or
42:59
43:03
poison? No, just for me. Okay.
43:03
43:07
>> What's going on, Ra?
43:07
43:09
>> Nothing. Phoebe kind of made a mistake.
43:09
43:14
But, you know, you do wear that sweater
43:14
43:15
a lot. Are are you involved in some kind
43:15
43:17
of dare?
43:17
43:20
>> You know, I'm actually glad Phoebe
43:20
43:22
called.
43:22
43:27
I know we broke up cuz you thought I
43:28
43:29
wasn't mature enough, but I've really
43:29
43:31
grown up and I think we should get back
43:31
43:33
together. Oh,
43:33
43:35
>> it's just not the right time.
43:35
43:37
>> It is the right time.
43:37
43:38
>> Okay,
43:38
43:40
>> I'm ready for more.
43:40
43:41
>> Tag,
43:41
43:42
>> come on, Ra. Let's give it another try.
43:42
43:45
>> I'm having a baby.
43:46
43:47
>> Oh.
43:47
43:56
You can go.
43:56
43:57
>> Thank you.
43:57
44:01
>> What am I sitting on?
44:01
44:03
>> Top of the world. Dock of the bay.
44:03
44:07
>> I'm out.
44:07
44:10
>> Oh, yeah. Why are these? Oh,
44:10
44:15
>> all right. Whose are they?
44:15
44:18
>> Whose are they?
44:18
44:19
>> Not mine.
44:19
44:20
>> Well, they're Joey's. They got to be
44:20
44:21
joys.
44:21
44:27
>> Yeah, they're mine.
44:27
44:28
>> See, Joy's the Joey Joies.
44:28
44:31
>> Why are they here?
44:31
44:33
>> I don't know. Uh,
44:33
44:37
I'm Joey.
44:37
44:40
>> Yeah, I'm disgusting. I take my
44:40
44:42
underwear off in other people's homes.
44:42
44:46
>> Well, get him out of here. What's wrong
44:46
44:48
with you?
44:48
44:49
>> YEAH.
44:49
44:49
>> YEAH.
44:49
44:52
TAKE THEM.
44:52
44:55
>> JOEY, you can touch them. They're your
44:55
44:57
underwear.
44:57
45:03
>> Chandler, a word.
45:03
45:05
>> Yeah,
45:05
45:13
>> that's it. I'm tired of covering for you
45:13
45:15
two. This has got to stop.
45:15
45:19
>> Hey Guess what I got for your wedding? A
45:19
45:22
>> freakishly thin date with a hanger for a
45:22
45:24
head.
45:24
45:25
>> No, Rachel hooked me up with a tux. But
45:25
45:28
not just any tux. Batman's tux.
45:28
45:33
>> That's right. Made expressly for Val
45:33
45:35
Kilmer and worn by him in the hit film
45:35
45:39
that Batman film he was in.
45:39
45:42
>> You can't wear that. I'm wearing the
45:42
45:43
famous tux. James Bond's tux.
45:44
45:46
>> So
45:46
45:46
>> So if you wear that, it'll make mine
45:46
45:48
less special.
45:48
45:50
Well, you need something to make this
45:50
45:51
date special. Hello. You had the most
45:51
45:54
special thing of all. You are marrying
45:54
45:57
the woman you love.
45:57
46:03
>> Please don't take away my cool thing.
46:03
46:05
Please, pretty please.
46:05
46:06
>> Pretty please. Not very uh 007.
46:06
46:11
>> Look, it's my wedding day, okay? If you
46:11
46:13
were getting married, I would never do
46:13
46:14
anything to upset you.
46:14
46:15
>> When I got married, you slept with my
46:15
46:16
sister.
46:16
46:17
>> That was pretty 007. Give me back my
46:17
46:19
sweater or it's handbag marinara.
46:19
46:24
>> You don't have the guts.
46:24
46:26
>> Oh yeah? Well, at least I wasn't too
46:26
46:28
chicken to tell some guy I thought he
46:28
46:30
was cute.
46:30
46:40
>> Oh. All right. Stop. Stop the madness.
46:40
46:47
This is crazy. Who can even remember why
46:47
46:50
you started fighting in the FIRST PLACE?
46:50
46:52
>> SHE KNEW THAT I JO
46:52
46:57
YES, that's right.
46:57
47:00
But still, I look at your purse.
47:00
47:05
Look at your sweater.
47:05
47:08
Look at yourselves.
47:08
47:13
I'll help you fix your sweater.
47:13
47:16
I'll help you throw out your purse.
47:16
47:21
>> I'm sorry that I made you stop seeing
47:21
47:23
him.
47:23
47:24
>> Well, I'm sorry I went out with him when
47:24
47:26
I knew you liked him.
47:26
47:30
>> I'm sorry that I borrowed your gloves.
47:30
47:36
>> Hey guys. Hey. Soap.
47:36
47:40
What do you think?
47:40
47:43
>> About what? What?
47:43
47:44
>> Yeah. What?
47:44
47:45
>> Are you kidding?
47:45
47:46
>> Okay, I'll give you a hint. I'll give
47:46
47:47
you a hint.
47:48
47:52
>> Eyes. No. No. Your eyes? No. Chandler's
47:52
47:55
eyes.
47:55
47:58
>> I got glasses.
47:58
48:00
>> You always had glasses.
48:00
48:05
>> No, I didn't.
48:05
48:08
>> Are you sure?
48:08
48:11
Yeah. Did Didn't you used to have a
48:11
48:12
pair? They were really round and
48:12
48:14
burgundy and they made you look kind of
48:14
48:16
um
48:16
48:17
>> feminine.
48:17
48:17
>> Yes.
48:17
48:19
>> No,
48:19
48:20
>> sweetie. I think the glasses look great.
48:20
48:22
They make you look really sexy.
48:22
48:24
>> Really?
48:24
48:24
>> Yeah.
48:24
48:25
>> And you didn't think I used to wear
48:25
48:26
glasses, right?
48:26
48:27
>> Of course.
48:27
48:35
>> So, the Porsche guy took his car back.
48:35
48:40
But you found the keys to his clothes.
48:40
48:44
>> No, I just uh I just love the way it
48:44
48:47
feels when everybody thinks I own a
48:47
48:48
Porsche.
48:48
48:49
>> And people would think you own a Porsche
48:49
48:50
because you're wearing the clothes.
48:50
48:52
>> Of course,
48:52
48:54
only an idiot would wear this stuff if
48:54
48:55
you didn't have the car.
48:55
49:00
>> That is true.
49:00
49:03
>> Yeah, but only a genius would swallow a
49:04
49:05
sonic blaster gun. Oh, I've been there.
49:05
49:11
>> I am going to go drive my Porsche.
49:11
49:15
>> Joey, you know you don't actually have
49:15
49:16
one.
49:16
49:17
>> Come on. What are you doing? I'm in
49:17
49:19
character. Will you talk to her?
49:19
49:23
>> Hey. Hey. Hey. Careful around my
49:23
49:25
Porsche.
49:25
49:28
>> Hi, Joey.
49:28
49:30
>> Hey. How you doing?
49:30
49:33
>> He has the most amazing Porsche under
49:33
49:35
there. I'd love to show you, but I just
49:35
49:37
tucked her in. She's sleeping.
49:37
49:40
>> Hey, uh, would you two girls like to go
49:40
49:42
for a drink?
49:42
49:47
>> Uh, here's a box of your stuff.
49:47
49:52
>> What?
49:52
49:53
>> Uh, you know, it's just like hats and
49:53
49:55
shirt and CDs. Just sort of stuff that
49:55
49:57
you've left here.
49:57
49:58
>> What are you doing? Are you Are you
49:58
49:59
trying to hurt me or something?
49:59
50:03
>> No.
50:03
50:05
Ross, it
50:05
50:08
it just seems that, you know, it's time
50:08
50:10
we, you know, move on. I I mean, don't
50:10
50:13
you think?
50:13
50:15
>> Yes.
50:15
50:16
>> Yeah.
50:16
50:17
>> Yes, I do.
50:17
50:19
>> Yeah. I I really do.
50:19
50:22
Hey,
50:22
50:24
this this was a gift.
50:24
50:26
>> Ross, you got that for free from the
50:26
50:28
museum gift shop.
50:28
50:30
>> It's still a gift. I got it from the
50:30
50:33
gift shop.
50:33
50:36
Okay. All right. Give me the mug. I'll
50:36
50:38
keep the mug.
50:38
50:39
>> No. You know, you know, don't do me any
50:39
50:41
favors. In fact, where
50:41
50:44
where's the rest of my stuff? Huh? Like,
50:44
50:46
like my um Hey, this book is mine.
50:46
50:52
And and and and that t-shirt you sleep
50:52
50:54
in. I'd like that back, too. Yes, I do.
50:54
50:59
>> You know how much I love that t-shirt.
50:59
51:02
You never even wear that t-shirt. I'm
51:02
51:04
just trying to help you move on.
51:04
51:08
>> Oh, you are a petty man. You are a
51:08
51:11
petty, petty, petty,
51:11
51:13
>> petty, petty small.
51:13
51:19
>> You are so just doing this out of spite.
51:20
51:22
>> A no, no, no. I'm I'm going to wear this
51:22
51:25
all the time. I love this shirt.
51:25
51:28
>> You have not worn that t-shirt since you
51:28
51:29
were 15. It doesn't even fit you
51:30
51:31
anymore.
51:31
51:32
>> Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
51:32
51:34
>> Oh, okay. Okay. Okay.
51:34
51:48
Now,
51:48
51:48
>> if you don't mind, I'm going to take the
51:48
51:50
rest of my stuff
51:50
51:52
and relax
51:52
51:55
in my favorite shirt.
51:55
51:59
You have a pleasant evening.
51:59
52:06
Hey guys.
52:06
52:07
>> Hey sweetie.
52:07
52:07
>> Ready to go?
52:08
52:08
>> Yeah, sure. Oh, I left my purse up at
52:08
52:10
Monica's. I'll be right back.
52:10
52:11
>> Wait a minute.
52:11
52:12
>> What?
52:12
52:16
Ooh.
52:16
52:19
Whoa. That one kept going.
52:19
52:27
>> Wow. You and Phoebe, huh? How long you
52:27
52:29
been going out?
52:29
52:30
>> Over a month. Wow. Maybe, uh, maybe you
52:30
52:32
and I ought to get to know each other a
52:32
52:34
little better.
52:34
52:34
>> Sure, I'd like that.
52:34
52:36
>> Yeah. So, uh,
52:36
52:39
what's your name?
52:39
52:43
>> It's Jake.
52:43
52:44
>> Joey.
52:44
52:45
>> Hey, Jake. Uh, do you like the Knicks?
52:45
52:47
>> Yeah, big fan.
52:47
52:48
>> Me, too. There's a game on Tuesday.
52:48
52:51
>> You want to go?
52:51
52:52
>> Yeah, that'd be great. Let me make sure
52:52
52:53
I'm not doing anything Tuesday.
52:54
53:00
Hey, Pete. Hey.
53:00
53:02
>> Listen, you know how uh when you're
53:02
53:04
wearing pants and you lean forward, I
53:04
53:07
check out your underwear?
53:07
53:08
>> Yeah.
53:08
53:10
Well, when Jake did it, I saw that he
53:10
53:14
was wearing women's underwear.
53:14
53:16
>> I know. They were mine.
53:16
53:19
>> Oh,
53:19
53:21
no. No, wait. That's weird.
53:21
53:24
>> No, it's not. We were just goofing
53:24
53:26
around and I dared him to try them on.
53:26
53:28
>> That's weird.
53:28
53:29
>> I'm wearing his briefs right now.
53:29
53:31
>> That's kind of hot.
53:31
53:34
>> I think so, too.
53:34
53:35
>> And that little flap great for holding
53:36
53:38
my lipstick.
53:38
53:45
>> Yeah, I wouldn't know about that.
53:45
53:48
And you know Jake says that women's
53:48
53:50
underwear is actually more comfortable
53:50
53:52
and he loves the way the silk feels
53:52
53:54
against his skin.
53:54
53:55
>> Yeah. Well, next thing you know he'll be
53:55
53:56
telling you that your high heels are
53:56
53:58
good for his posture.
53:58
54:00
>> There is nothing wrong with Jake. Okay.
54:00
54:02
He is all man. I'm thinking even more
54:02
54:05
than you.
54:05
54:05
>> Oh yeah. He look like a real lumberjack
54:06
54:07
in those pink laces.
54:07
54:11
I'm just saying that only a man
54:11
54:13
completely secure with his masculinity
54:13
54:15
could walk around in women's underwear.
54:15
54:17
I don't think you could ever do that.
54:17
54:18
>> Hey, I am secure with my masculinity.
54:18
54:21
>> Okay, whatever.
54:21
54:23
>> You've seen my huge stack of porn,
54:23
54:24
right?
54:24
54:50
Yeah.
54:50
55:03
>> Hey, Febs. Hey,
55:04
55:08
>> check it out.
55:08
55:10
>> Huh?
55:10
55:14
>> All right.
55:14
55:15
>> How much of a man am I?
55:15
55:17
>> Wow. Nice. Manly and also kind of a
55:17
55:21
55:23
>> You know, I'm beginning to see what Jake
55:23
55:26
was talking about.
55:26
55:27
>> The silk feels really good.
55:27
55:30
>> Yeah. And and things aren't as smashed
55:30
55:33
down as I thought they were going to be.
55:33
55:35
>> It's great, Joe.
55:35
55:36
>> Yeah. And you have so many more choices
55:36
55:37
than you do with men's underwear.
55:37
55:39
Bikini, French cut, thong, and and the
55:39
55:42
fabrics. You got cotton, silk, lace, and
55:42
55:45
you know what? I've always wondered
55:45
55:46
about
55:46
55:47
>> panty hoes.
55:47
55:48
>> You know, the way they start at your toe
55:48
55:50
and then they go all the way up to
55:50
55:56
>> I should go take these off, shouldn't I?
55:56
55:57
>> I think it's important that you do.
55:58
56:02
feel better?
56:02
56:03
>> Yeah. Much
56:03
56:06
Listen, uh not that I'm insecure about
56:06
56:09
my manhood or anything, you know, but uh
56:09
56:13
I think I need to hook up with a woman
56:13
56:14
like right now.
56:14
56:16
>> Yeah, I understand.
56:16
56:17
>> Yeah. Okay.
56:17
56:24
>> Hey. Hi.
56:24
56:25
>> Hi.
56:25
56:26
>> You look familiar. Do I know you from
56:26
56:28
somewhere? I don't think so.
56:28
56:30
>> Maybe it's because I'm on television.
56:30
56:35
>> I'm an actor on Days of Our Lives.
56:35
56:36
>> Wow.
56:36
56:37
>> Really?
56:38
56:38
>> Mhm.
56:38
56:39
>> 450, please.
56:39
56:39
>> Oh, let me get this.
56:40
56:52
>> These are for you.
56:52
56:56
>> Hey. Hey. Where is everybody? They took
56:56
56:59
Ben to the park. Where have you been?
56:59
57:01
Just out. Had some lunch. Just me.
57:01
57:05
Little quality time with me. Hey, thanks
57:05
57:08
for your jacket.
57:08
57:09
>> Oh, no problem. You can borrow it, by
57:09
57:11
the way.
57:12
57:14
Oh, here are your keys, honey.
57:14
57:18
>> Man. Mhm.
57:18
57:20
>> If uh you were at lunch alone, how come
57:20
57:22
it cost you uh $53?
57:22
57:27
You know what probably happened?
57:27
57:30
Someone must have stolen my credit card.
57:30
57:33
And sort of just put the receipt back in
57:34
57:35
your pocket.
57:35
57:37
That is an excellent, excellent
57:37
57:39
question.
57:39
57:41
That is excellent.
57:41
57:43
Monica, what's with you? Who did you
57:43
57:45
have lunch with?
57:45
57:46
>> Judy. Who?
57:46
57:48
>> Julie.
57:48
57:49
>> What?
57:49
57:49
>> Jodie.
57:49
57:52
You were with Julie? Oh, look.
57:52
57:56
When it started, I was just trying to be
57:56
57:58
nice to her because she was my brother's
57:58
58:00
girlfriend.
58:00
58:02
And then one thing led to another and
58:02
58:06
before I knew it, we were
58:06
58:09
shopping.
58:09
58:15
Oh my god.
58:15
58:19
Wait, we only did it once.
58:19
58:22
>> It didn't mean anything to me.
58:22
58:25
Yeah, right.
58:26
58:27
>> Really?
58:27
58:27
>> Sure,
58:27
58:27
>> Rachel. I was thinking of you the whole
58:27
58:29
time.
58:29
58:33
>> Look,
58:33
58:35
I'm sorry. All right. I I never meant
58:35
58:37
for YOU TO FIND OUT.
58:37
58:38
>> OH, PLEASE. PLEASE. YOU WANTED TO GET
58:38
58:41
CAUGHT. THAT IS NOT TRUE.
58:41
58:43
>> OH, SO YOU JUST SORT OF HAPPENED TO
58:43
58:45
LEAVE IT in here? Did it ever occur to
58:45
58:48
you that I might just be that stupid?
58:48
58:52
Okay, Monica, I just have to know one
58:52
58:54
thing.
58:54
58:58
>> Did you go with her to Blooming Dales?
58:58
59:11
>> Okay,
59:11
59:12
okay,
59:12
59:15
okay. I just really um I just really
59:15
59:17
need to not be with you right now.
59:17
Lyrics & Translation
[English]
Great.
...
Get anything that's not Ralph Lauren?
...
>> Yeah, I don't think so, Joe.
...
>> All right, I guess this will be fine.
...
>> Hey, listen. Uh, what are you what are
...
you doing tonight?
...
>> Not that much.
...
>> How would you feel about taking out my
...
assistant tag? I'll pay.
...
>> I got to say, it's going to take a lot
...
of money for me to go out on a date with
...
a dude.
...
>> I'm not asking you to go on a date with
...
him. really cuz I could kind of use the
...
money.
...
>> Joey, just just He's new in town and I
...
know he doesn't have any guy friends.
...
Just take him to like a ball game or
...
something. I'd really appreciate it.
...
>> Yeah. Okay. Sure. No problem.
...
>> Thank you.
...
>> Ooh. Hey, donuts.
...
>> Yeah.
...
>> Come on out, honey. I'm telling you, you
...
look good. Tell her she looks good. Tell
...
her she looks good.
...
Oh my god,
...
>> you look so good.
...
I cannot believe I have to walk down the
...
aisle in front of 200 people looking
...
like something you drink when you're
...
nauseous.
...
>> So don't I don't see why we have to go
...
to this thing anyway. It's your your ex
...
fiance's wedding. Because I promised
...
Mindy I would.
...
>> Yeah, well, you promised Barry you'd
...
marry him.
...
>> Look, you guys, I have to go. I'm the
...
maid of honor. And besides, you know
...
what? I just need to be in a room again
...
with these people and feel good about
...
myself.
...
My god, these pants. I'm burning up.
...
Come on. She wants to snuggle now. What
...
is she trying to kill me? It's like a
...
volcano in here.
...
>> Are you hot?
...
>> No.
...
>> Okay, must just be me then.
...
That was just the pants on the couch.
...
>> Um, hey, do you do you mind if I use
...
your bathroom?
...
>> Oh, go ahead.
...
>> Thanks.
...
Help.
...
Oh.
...
Hey, my favorite part's coming up.
...
>> Okay.
...
Oh my god.
...
>> Hello,
...
>> Joey. It's Ross. I need some help.
...
>> Uh, Chandler's not here.
...
>> Well, you can help me.
...
>> Okay,
...
>> listen. I'm in Elizabeth's bathroom.
...
>> Nice.
...
No, I I got really hot in my leather
...
pants, so I took them off. But they must
...
have shrunk from the the sweat or
...
something or or my legs expanded from
...
the heat. I But I I can't get them back
...
on, Joey. I can't.
...
That is quite a situation.
...
Uh do you see any like powder?
...
>> Powder? Yeah. Yeah, I have powder.
...
>> Good. Good. Okay. Sprinkle some of that
...
on your legs. It'll absorb some of the
...
moisture and then you can get your pants
...
back on.
...
>> Yeah. Hold. Hold on.
...
They're not coming on, man.
...
>> Um, you see any uh Oh, Vaseline.
...
>> I I see lotion. I have lotion. Will that
...
work?
...
>> Yeah, sure. Throw some of that on there.
...
>> Hold on.
...
Ross, you okay?
...
>> They're still They're still not coming
...
on, man. And the lotion and the powder
...
have made a paste.
...
>> Really?
...
Uh what color is it?
...
What difference does that make?
...
>> Well, I'm just If the paste matches the
...
pants, you can make yourself a pair of
...
paste pants and she won't know the
...
difference.
...
>> Joey, do you have a minute?
...
>> Dude, what am I?
...
>> Uh, Rachel's here, so good luck, man.
...
Let me know how it works out.
...
>> Oh, Joey, I have such a problem.
...
>> Uh, well, your timing couldn't be
...
better. I am putting out fires all over
...
the place,
...
>> Ross. Um, you've been in there for a
...
long time. I'm starting to get kind of
...
freaked out.
...
>> All right, I'm coming out.
...
Hey, can you turn the lights off?
...
>> No, let's just leave the lights on.
...
Oh my god.
...
>> I had a problem.
...
>> Wow. I I don't know what to say.
...
>> What do you say?
...
>> I don't know.
...
It's a bracelet, isn't it? And it's a
...
grave, too. Check it out.
...
>> To my best bud.
...
>> Thanks, best bud.
...
Put it on.
...
>> Oh, now.
...
>> No, no. I think something this nice
...
should be saved for a special occasion.
...
>> Oh, no. No. That's the beauty part. It
...
goes with everything. You put this on,
...
YOU'RE GOOD TO GO.
...
OH MAN, you are so wearing that
...
bracelet.
...
>> I sure am.
...
>> Come here. I want to show you something
...
in the bathroom.
...
>> Oh, Monica, grow up.
...
>> Hey, what do you got behind your back?
...
>> Nothing. Just Just something I want to
...
get Phoe's opinion on for Valentine's
...
Day.
...
>> You don't want my opinion?
...
>> Not really.
...
Come on. I'm your older brother. Ask me.
...
>> Oh. Oh, okay. Big brother. Um, which one
...
of these do you think would make your
...
little sister look hotter so your best
...
friend would want to do her?
...
>> The red one.
...
>> So, what do you think?
...
I've still got it.
...
>> Why did you get me this?
...
>> What is it?
...
yelling, bleeding,
...
dilating.
...
Oh, the dilating.
...
>> Is this the video of the baby being
...
born? Sweetie, this is Phoebe's. Why
...
were you even watching it?
...
I thought maybe you got me porn for
...
Valentine's Day.
...
>> Chandler, if you thought I was going to
...
get you porn for Valentine's Day,
...
you were right.
...
>> Apparently, it's it's about a young girl
...
who moves to the big city, you know, in
...
search of stardom, but ends up having
...
sex with a lot of guys.
...
>> Yeah. Got four stars. Oh, wait a minute.
...
Those aren't stars.
...
What do you think?
...
>> Well, I'm not going to have to buy that
...
I'm with stupid t-shirt anymore.
...
>> I like Here you go.
...
>> All right. Look, you're not really going
...
to buy that, are you? Don't you think
...
you've embarrassed me enough for one
...
day?
...
>> Oh, I embarrass you?
...
>> How can I answer that when I'm
...
pretending I don't know you?
...
>> He's just jealous. You'll fit right in.
...
All Londoners wear them.
...
>> Oh, really? Then how come no one here
...
anywhere is wearing one?
...
>> They're all tourists.
...
All right, look. If you insist on
...
wearing that in public, you know, you're
...
going to spend the rest of the afternoon
...
all by yourself.
...
>> You don't make me choose between you and
...
the hat. I choose the hat.
...
>> Good choice. Thanks.
...
>> Okay, look.
...
>> All right, that's it. Okay, I'm out of
...
here. I'm not going to be embarrassed
...
anymore.
...
>> Hey guys, guess what?
...
got a job on a riverboat.
...
>> You know what? I didn't wear this suit
...
for a year because you hated it. Well,
...
guess what? You're not my girlfriend
...
anymore. So
...
>> Oh, I see. So, this suit is making a
...
point.
...
>> Now that you're on your own, you're free
...
to look as stupid as you'd like.
...
>> You like it, right?
...
>> Oh, absolutely. I like it even more on
...
you than I did on Colonel Sanders.
...
>> Ross. Ross, I'm kidding.
...
>> Yeah. Mirror, what were you going to
...
tell us? Yeah. Oh, was it how you
...
invented the cotton chin?
...
>> Okay. Goodbye.
...
>> Hey.
...
>> Hey. So, what do you think?
...
>> New haircut, necklace, dress, boots,
...
boots.
...
>> Now, they're a little more than I
...
usually spend on boots. Um, or rent.
...
>> Oh my god.
...
>> I know.
...
>> I'm going to miss being able to afford
...
food.
...
>> I'm sorry. They just they just look so
...
good. And the saleswoman was looking at
...
me like, "These are way too expensive
...
for you."
...
>> She had a point.
...
>> Hi.
...
>> Oh my god. Oh, Monica, those boots are
...
amazing.
...
>> They're mine.
...
>> Yeah. Well, too bad. We're going to have
...
to return them.
...
>> Return them? Shh. They're going to hear
...
you.
...
>> I I'm not returning them, okay? I mean,
...
I I know they cost a lot, but I'm going
...
to wear them all the time. You'll see.
...
Besides, I love the compliments.
...
I mean, have you ever had something that
...
was so beautiful that everyone wants it?
...
>> I have you.
...
>> Nice try. I'm keeping the boots.
...
>> 10 blocks down, five to go.
...
>> Oh, wait. Stop. Stop. Stop.
...
>> Oh, I'm sorry. Do you need a break?
...
>> My boots in tan. Hey, can you get a
...
little closer so I can see the price?
...
>> I can see it from right here. It'll cost
...
you one husband.
...
>> Okay. I'm sorry. I think I I can walk
...
the rest of the way now. Just Just give
...
me my boots.
...
>> I don't have your boots.
...
>> Well, I don't have them either. Where
...
are they?
...
>> Well, why don't you check in one of my
...
saddle bags while I chew on a bail of
...
hay?
...
>> Okay.
...
God, we got to go back and get them.
...
>> Honey, are you seriously ever going to
...
wear the boots again?
...
>> Okay, I'm never going to wear them
...
again.
...
Just didn't get a chance to say goodbye.
...
>> You know what? You can say goodbye to
...
the tan ones.
...
>> Okay.
...
All right.
...
>> Okay.
...
>> Bye, Boots.
...
>> WAIT, HALF OFF.
...
>> KNOW WHAT I'M GOING to do about this
...
coat?
...
>> I'll take it.
...
>> That might work.
...
>> Oh, yeah.
...
>> All right. Who do you think?
...
>> You're on in five, Miss Manelli.
...
Hey.
...
>> Hi.
...
>> Hey, you guys. Uh, I need some fashion
...
advice.
...
>> Oh,
...
>> how does this look?
...
>> Well, it's it's a little low. Pick it up
...
a little.
...
A little bit more.
...
A little bit more. There you go.
...
Now throw it away.
...
>> Come on. This looks good.
...
>> Ross, please. Trust me. I buy 30 fashion
...
magazines a month. Now, I don't know
...
who's running for president or who that
...
NATO guy is, but I do know that you have
...
to get as far away as you can from that
...
hat.
...
>> Damn it. I have this date tomorrow night
...
and I have to look cool.
...
>> Well, you know, if you want fashion
...
help, Rachel and I are going shopping
...
tomorrow. You're more than welcome to
...
come with us, right?
...
>> Really? That would be great. I I mean, I
...
have to do something. She kind of teased
...
me about how I dress.
...
>> I can see why. Nice shirt.
...
You're wearing the same shirt.
...
>> Stupid gap on every corner.
...
>> Wow, this place is awesome.
...
>> You know what? We should just go. I'm
...
not going to find anything here. This
...
stuff is ridiculous. Oh,
...
>> this place is great.
...
>> Wow.
...
>> Ra, come on. I'm not going to wear any
...
of this. Nothing silver. Okay. Nothing
...
with hair and nothing with padlocks on
...
it. Of
...
>> course, look. Look. I know that some of
...
this stuff is out there, but I mean,
...
come on. Look at this. Look at this
...
sweater. I mean, this is just beautiful.
...
>> Wow. This is really soft.
...
$350
...
>> down from $700. You're saving like 200
...
bucks.
...
>> Both logic and math are taking a serious
...
hit today.
...
Hey, check this out. It's totally you.
...
>> Wow.
...
>> Yeah.
...
>> Wow. Actually, this this looks pretty
...
good.
...
>> Yeah.
...
>> Boys will be boys.
...
>> What? They will be.
...
>> All right, that's it. I'm getting out of
...
here.
...
>> No, no, no, Russ. Wait. Come on. All
...
right. You know what? There's other
...
stuff. Here's some nice shirts. Look at
...
these these nice pants. Huh? Actually,
...
these these might look pretty good on
...
me.
...
>> Yes, they will. You know what you should
...
do? Just go take a walk. All right. I
...
know your size and I'm going to I'm
...
going to pick out some really good stuff
...
for you.
...
>> Really?
...
>> Yes. And I know what looks sexy on guys.
...
Please just wear what I suggest and she
...
is going to go nuts for you.
...
>> So, you're saying uh if I wear these
...
pants, I might be getting into hers.
...
>> Why do men keep talking to me like this?
...
>> Some really great stuff. Yeah. Yeah. But
...
I'm not sure about some of the bras I
...
got. Oh, really? Do you want to try some
...
of them on for me? Oh, okay.
...
Wait, are we in Joey's imagination?
...
>> Oh, no. I took one of Ross's bags by
...
mistake. And one of mine is missing. Oh,
...
well, Ross probably has it. You can get
...
it from him later.
...
>> So, what do you think?
...
Think we're not wearing the same shirt
...
anymore.
...
>> Yeah. Yeah. Rachel picked it out for me.
...
She told me to trust her. And you know
...
what? I'm glad I did. I turned quite a
...
few heads on my way over here.
...
>> Dude, I really don't think you should be
...
wearing that.
...
>> Oh, I see. Somebody's afraid of a little
...
competition with the ladies.
...
>> Looks like someone is the ladies.
...
You're just jealous because you couldn't
...
pull this off. Yeah. Now, if you'll
...
excuse me, I have a date.
...
>> See? All eyes on me.
...
>> Wow, this place looks great.
...
>> Oh, you are going to love it. And I'm so
...
glad we're finally doing this.
...
>> Me, too.
...
>> Here.
...
So this was fun.
...
>> Hey you guys, check it out. Check it
...
out. Guess what job I just got?
...
>> I don't know, but Donald Trump wants his
...
blue blazer black.
...
What? Blue blazer back. He He wants it
...
back.
...
>> You said black. Why would he want his
...
blue blazer back?
...
>> Well, you you you know what I meant.
...
>> No, you messed it up.
...
You're stupid.
...
>> Do you Are you going to separate those?
...
>> Oh god.
...
>> Oh, am I being like a total laundry
...
spad? I mean, am I supposed to use like
...
one machine for shirts and another
...
machine for pants?
...
>> Have you Have you never done this
...
before?
...
>> Well, not myself, but I I know other
...
people that have.
...
>> Okay, you caught me. I'm a laundry
...
virgin.
...
>> Uh, well, don't worry. I'll use the
...
gentle side.
...
>> Okay. Um
...
uh basically you want to use one machine
...
for all your whites.
...
>> Whites.
...
>> Okay. A whole another machine for for
...
your colors.
...
>> And and third for uh your uh
...
uh delicates and that would be your bras
...
and your under panty things.
...
>> Okay. Well, what about these are white
...
cotton panties. Would they go with
...
whites with delicates? Uh that that that
...
would be a judgment call.
...
>> Okay.
...
>> See,
...
>> she stole my jeans.
...
>> What?
...
>> I have been looking for them all week
...
and she is wearing them.
...
>> So she stole your pants and then she
...
came back and wore them in front of you.
...
>> Don't you see? It's the perfect crime.
...
>> She must have been planning this for
...
years.
...
I will prove it to you. Okay. About a
...
week ago, I was wearing those jeans and
...
I dropped a pen in my lap and it left an
...
ink staining on the crotch. Now, when
...
she comes back, I will find it and show
...
you that same.
...
Shouldn't we give her the benefit of the
...
doubt before we go snooping around her
...
crotch?
...
>> I'm quitting. I just helped an
...
81year-old woman put on a thong and she
...
didn't even buy it.
...
I'm telling you, I'm quitting. That's
...
it. I'm talking to my boss right now.
...
Yes, I am. Yes, I am. Yes, I am. Yes, I
...
am. Yes, I am. Yes, I am. Okay, bye.
...
Call me when you get this message.
...
>> Oh, Mr. Walam, I uh really need to talk
...
to you.
...
>> In a moment, please. I'm in the middle
...
of a task and you have a customer.
...
>> Hi.
...
>> Hi. I'm Joshua.
...
>> Hi. I'm Rachel Green. What can I do for
...
you, Joshua?
...
>> Well, uh, I need a whole new wardrobe.
...
My wife, well, my exwife. Oh, I'm so
...
sorry.
...
>> Anyway, she burned all of my clothes, so
...
I got away with two things. This suit
...
and what turned out to be a uh skirt.
...
>> Well, at least that's a great suit.
...
>> Yeah, but it wasn't much fun dropping it
...
off at the dry cleaners in the skirt.
...
>> So, I need everything down to underwear.
...
So, if you're willing, I'm uh I'm all
...
yours.
...
Okay,
...
>> Rachel, you needed to speak to me.
...
>> No, no, that wasn't me.
...
>> Well, we should get started. Let me show
...
you my underwear.
...
>> The selection of underwear that we
...
carry.
...
>> Oh, I'm sorry. It's this way. It's this
...
way.
...
>> It's this way. Sorry.
...
>> Honey, I'm old.
...
What's wrong?
...
>> I am so much older than these other
...
interns. I can't I can't compete with
...
them.
...
>> But I saw you were a little older. Got
...
to look at the positive. You have all
...
this life experience.
...
>> Yes, but I don't think life experience
...
is going to help me with these.
...
>> Wow.
...
It's like they're on fire.
...
>> What are they? They are these prototype
...
sneakers and I have to come up with
...
ideas on how to sell them, which I can't
...
do because no self-respecting adult
...
would ever wear these.
...
>> I'll give you $500 for them.
...
>> What am I supposed to do with these?
...
>> Come on. Sneakers are easy. You wear
...
sneakers all the time.
...
>> Well, first of all, they're not called
...
sneakers anymore. Apparently, they're
...
called kicks or skids. And I think I
...
heard somebody say slurps.
...
Here, look. They got these wheels that
...
pop out from the bottom so you can roll
...
around because apparently walking is too
...
much exercise.
...
Kids, kids, roll your way to childhood
...
obesity.
...
Would you help me try to sell these?
...
>> Okay. Have you considered using a girl
...
with huge knockers?
...
>> I don't think that's the kind of thing
...
they're looking for.
...
>> Hey, that'd work on me.
...
>> Why do you think I'd buy Mrs.
...
Butterwarts?
...
>> You know what? These aren't half bad.
...
You should suggest something like these
...
to Ralph Lauren.
...
>> Okay, first of all, that's stupid. And
...
second of all, I'm not allowed to talk
...
to Ralph.
...
>> All right,
...
I feel younger already.
...
>> What's in the bag?
...
>> Just some presents.
...
>> Come on, show us what you bought.
...
>> You know you want to.
...
Okay.
...
Okay. Hey, this is a picture frame from
...
Ben to my parents.
...
>> I got some uh hers and hers towels for
...
Susan and Carol.
...
>> And uh I got this blouse for mom.
...
>> Poss. That is gorgeous.
...
>> Look at these authentic fake metals. I
...
>> tell you, mom's going to be voted best
...
dressed at the Makebelie Military
...
Academy.
...
Thank you.
...
>> Oh, thank you very much.
...
>> Oh, thank you for coming.
...
>> Uh, just a second.
...
>> No, no, let me in,
...
>> Phoebe.
...
>> Yeah. C,
...
>> can you hold on just one minute?
...
>> No, you have to let me in right now.
...
>> Are you alone?
...
>> Yes.
...
>> ALL RIGHT.
...
I GOT IT.
...
CONGRATULATIONS.
...
>> OKAY. My turn. My turn.
...
>> Okay.
...
Okay. Ready.
...
>> Okay.
...
That was a terrible throw. I'm not going
...
to throw it right to you. That's not
...
real.
...
>> Look at me. My big concern is what's
...
real.
...
>> Oh my god.
...
We're really sad, aren't we?
...
>> Yeah, I think we are.
...
>> This isn't even my dress. Well, at least
...
you didn't rent yours from a store
...
called It's Not Too Late.
...
I'm changing out of this.
...
>> Me, too.
...
>> In like a half an hour.
...
>> Me, too. Okay. All right. Now, throw it
...
straight this time.
...
>> Okay. Okay.
...
>> I'm getting married.
...
>> I feel blue.
...
>> I bet you anything he's going to call
...
you again.
...
>> Yeah, maybe. But, you know, I don't
...
think I even care.
...
I don't think he's the one I'm sad
...
about.
...
You know, I know that I said I'm totally
...
okay with Ross getting married, but as
...
it turns out, I don't think I am
...
handling it all that well.
...
>> Yeah, maybe.
...
>> And and I'm just trying to figure out
...
why.
...
>> Any luck?
...
>> Well, yeah. Yeah. I mean, you know how
...
Ross and I have always been on again,
...
off again, on again, off again.
...
I guess I just figured that somewhere
...
down the road we would be on again
...
again.
...
>> You know what? I think we all did.
...
>> Hey.
...
>> Hey. Hey.
...
>> So, got us reservations for Sunday
...
night. Okay. How about Ernie's at 9:00?
...
>> Yeah. Well, you uh better make it for 3.
...
>> Oh, see, I I don't know if we're going
...
to be hungry at 3.
...
Three people. Joshua's not going to be
...
there.
...
>> What happened?
...
>> Um, well, I think I think he broke up
...
with me.
...
>> No. Why? Well,
...
>> apparently he scares easy.
...
I'm
...
>> I'm sorry.
...
It's okay.
...
>> Sometimes
...
things don't work out the way you
...
thought they would.
...
>> Come here.
...
>> Oh, hey. Don't you have to go pick up
...
Emily?
...
>> Yeah.
...
>> Yeah.
...
>> Are you okay?
...
>> Yeah. And I got my girls.
...
Okay.
...
>> Hey, you know who might cheer you up?
...
>> What?
...
You know, I got to tell you, this really
...
does put me in a better mood.
...
>> I wish there was a job where I could
...
wear this all the time.
...
>> Maybe someday there will be.
...
>> Oh, God. That's Chandler. He's going to
...
come by and borrow some candles for his
...
big date.
...
>> Oh, okay.
...
>> No. No. Rachel, don't get it. See us.
...
>> No. Yeah. The groom cannot see the
...
bride.
...
>> You're not going to marry Chandler.
...
>> Not after this.
...
Okay, guys. Just relax.
...
>> I do.
...
>> I got to go.
...
>> Mona.
...
Okay. If I were a salmon shirt, where
...
would I be?
...
>> I am so sorry. Sorry, I spilled wine all
...
over your shirt.
...
>> Oh, it's okay.
...
>> No, it's still wet. You know what? Let
...
me get it out before it sets. Oh, I have
...
something you could wear.
...
>> Here.
...
>> Oh,
...
I don't know if I want to wear a woman's
...
shirt.
...
>> No, no, that that's a man's shirt.
...
>> Aly pink.
...
Oh,
...
Oh my god, Ross.
...
>> Hello,
...
>> Ros. What are you doing?
...
>> Not touching myself. If that makes
...
anyone less uncomfortable.
...
>> Now, Joe, you know that since you're
...
returning all of this stuff after the
...
audition, you're going to have to wear
...
underwear.
...
>> All right. Well, you better show me some
...
of that, too, then.
...
>> Okay. Hey, it's missing something.
...
Oh, I know. Um, okay.
...
>> Really? A purse?
...
>> It's not a purse. It's a shoulder bag.
...
>> Looks like a woman's purse.
...
>> No, Joey. Look. Trust me. I'm telling
...
all the men are carrying them in the
...
spring catalog. Look. See? Look. Men
...
carrying the bag.
...
>> See? Look. Women carrying the bag.
...
But it is odd how a woman's purse looks
...
so good on me. A man.
...
>> Exactly. Unisex.
...
>> Maybe you need sex. I had sex a couple
...
days ago.
...
>> No, Joey. You and I sex.
...
>> Well, I ain't going to say no to that.
...
Hey. Hey.
...
>> Wow, you look just like your son, Mrs.
...
Tribani.
...
>> What are you referring to? My man's bag.
...
At first, I thought it just looked good,
...
but it's practical, too. Check it out.
...
It's got compartments for all your
...
stuff. Your wallet, your keys, your
...
address book, your makeup.
...
>> Joey, what are you doing with the bag?
...
Your audition's not till tomorrow.
...
>> Yeah, but sandwich time is right now.
...
>> Joey, you know, you get any mustard on
...
that bag, you can't return it.
...
>> Why would I ever return this? I love
...
this bag.
...
>> All right. Well, then you owe me $350.
...
>> Fine. Do you take Vasa or Mooster Card,
...
>> Joey?
...
>> All right, relax. Look, I'll pay you
...
with the money from the acting job I am
...
definitely going to get thanks to you.
...
>> What's the part? Auntie Mame.
...
>> Don't listen to them. I think it's sexy.
...
>> You and I, sexy.
...
>> Hey, I'm off to my audition. How do I
...
look?
...
>> I think you look great. Joey, that bag
...
is going to get you that part.
...
>> And a date with a man.
...
You know what? Make fun all you want.
...
This is a great bag, okay? And it's as
...
handy as it is becoming.
...
Now, just because you don't understand
...
something doesn't make it wrong. All
...
right? So, from now on, you guys are
...
going to have to get used to the fact
...
that Joey comes with a bag.
...
>> Ready, Joey?
...
>> Well, you must be new here. Maybe we get
...
a table, I'd buy you a drink.
...
>> I'm sorry. Could you Could you try it
...
without the purse?
...
Yeah, sure.
...
Well, you must be new here. Maybe we
...
sit. I'm sorry. Can I ask you something?
...
>> Sure. What?
...
>> Well, first, it's not a purse.
...
Okay. Anytime.
...
>> I mean, if if you're thinking it's a
...
woman's bag, it's not. It's a man's bag.
...
Okay. And go.
...
I Let me show you the catalog.
...
Look. See? Huh? It's the latest thing.
...
Everyone's got one. Men, women,
...
children, everyone's carrying them. Um,
...
do you sell these bags?
...
>> Oh, no, no, no, no, no. These babies
...
sell themselves.
...
>> Okay. Thank you. That was great.
...
>> Yeah, but I didn't even read anything.
...
>> I think we've seen enough.
...
Okay. All right. I'll see you. We got
...
it. We got it.
...
>> Hi. I need those earrings you borrowed.
...
>> Oh. Um. Okay.
...
>> Yeah. I'll be I'll be right back. Okay.
...
>> Wow. Fees. You speak Italian?
...
>> I guess so.
...
>> There you go. Thank you. Wait, Rich.
...
Where's the other one? Oh, wait. You
...
want both of them?
...
Rachel Karen Green, where's the other
...
earring? Okay. Okay. Okay. Look, just
...
don't freak out, but I kind of lost it.
...
Oh, I know it's in the apartment, but I
...
definitely lost it. Well, what am I
...
going to tell Monica? She wants to wear
...
them tonight. I don't tell her to wear
...
her own earrings. These are her
...
earrings. No. No. You lent me Monica's
...
earrings. I'm not allowed to borrow her
...
stuff.
...
>> Why not? because I lose her stuff.
...
>> Okay, look. We have 19 minutes, okay?
...
Chandler, I want you to go and change,
...
okay? And then when you come back, Joey
...
will go change and he'll have vacated
...
the chair. Okay? Okay.
...
>> All right. Fine. I'm going. But when I
...
GET BACK, IT'S CHAIR CITY, AND I'M THE
...
GUY WHO'S sitting in a chair.
...
>> Where's my underwear?
...
>> Whoa, whoa, whoa. Come on. Come on.
...
What? You took his underwear? He took my
...
essence.
...
>> Okay, hold on,
...
>> Joey. Why Why can't you just wear the
...
underwear you're wearing now?
...
>> Cuz I'm not wearing any underwear now.
...
>> Okay. Um, then why do you have to wear
...
underwear tonight?
...
>> It's a rented tux. Okay. Not going to go
...
commando in another man's fatigue.
...
>> Well, then it looks like somebody's
...
going to have to give somebody back his
...
cushions.
...
>> Okay, you hide my clothes. I'm going to
...
do the exact opposite to you.
...
What are you What are you going to show
...
me? My clothes. Hey, opposite
...
is opposite.
...
He's got nothing.
...
>> Okay, buddy boy. Here it is.
...
You hide my clothes. I'm wearing
...
everything you own.
...
Oh my god,
...
that is so NOT THE OPPOSITE OF TAKING
...
SOMEBODY'S UNDERWEAR. Look at me. I'm
...
Chandler. Could I be wearing any more
...
clothes?
...
Maybe if I wasn't going commando.
...
Yeah,
...
I'll tell you, it's hot with all this
...
stuff on. I uh I better not do any I
...
don't know, lunges.
...
Okay. Okay. Enough. But enough not for
...
the lunching. No. I'm sick of this.
...
Okay. I've had up to here with you two.
...
Neither of you can come to the party.
...
Jeez. What a baby.
...
>> You just be yourself. They live on the
...
Upper East Side on Park Avenue.
...
>> Oh, yeah. She can't be herself.
...
>> Okay. So, all right. Which dress?
...
>> You can say neither.
...
>> Oh god. Neither. Neither.
...
>> I'm sorry, honey. We're going to take
...
you shopping. It's going to be fine.
...
>> Yeah, totally. You are in such good
...
hands. And I am so good with meeting
...
parents with the father. You know, you
...
want to flirt a little bit, but not in a
...
gross way. Just kind of like, "Oh, Mr.
...
Pinser. I can see where Wallace gets his
...
good looks."
...
>> You went out with Wallace Pinser.
...
>> Oh, he took the SATs for me.
...
>> I knew you didn't get a 1400.
...
>> Well, duh.
...
So now, what about with Mike's mom?
...
>> Oh, well, with the mother, just just
...
constantly tell her how amazing her son
...
is. Take it from me. Moms love me.
...
Ross's mom one time actually said, "I am
...
like the daughter that she never had."
...
She said, "What? That she's like the
...
daughter she never had."
...
You and I were talking and and I was so
...
upset about the hall being knocked down
...
and she suggested that we just put the
...
wedding off for a bit.
...
>> She said, "What?"
...
>> She said, "If I'm not going to be happy
...
getting married somewhere that we can
...
find in a day, well, then we should just
...
postpone it."
...
>> Postpone it.
...
>> Emily, do you think Monica realizes how
...
much our parents spent on this wedding?
...
Huh? Do you think my sister's teeny tiny
...
little brain comprehends that people
...
took time out of their lives to fly
...
thousands of miles to be here? Huh?
...
>> This isn't right.
...
>> I realize that people are going to be
...
disappointed,
...
but I'm sure they'll come back when we
...
can do it right.
...
>> Well, I can't ask people to do that.
...
Would you ask people to do that?
...
>> Don't you point your pants at me.
...
We have no choice. Anywhere that's half
...
decent will have been booked months ago.
...
Ross, don't you understand? This is our
...
wedding I'm talking about.
...
>> The only thing I understand is
...
postponing it is not an option. This is
...
when we're getting married.
...
>> So, what are you saying? It's now or
...
never.
...
>> No, I'm saying it's now
...
>> or
...
>> there's no or in mine.
...
>> What is wrong with these pants?
...
>> It's not the pants. It's you who's
...
backwards. And if and if you don't
...
understand how important this is to me,
...
well then perhaps we shouldn't be
...
getting married at all.
...
>> What?
...
>> Emily, NO. WAIT. STOP. EMILY, PLEASE.
...
>> HEY, come on. Daddy needs a new pair of
...
electromagnetic microscopes for the
...
prehistoric forensics department.
...
Okay. Take Pinky Tuscadero up to
...
inspiration point. Collect three cool
...
points. Yeah. which gives me five. And
...
let's see who is going to lose their
...
clothes. Um, I think I pick our strip
...
poker sponsor, Mr. Joey Tribani.
...
>> All right, relax. It's just a shoe.
...
>> Okay, your band is playing at Arnold's.
...
Collect three cool points, which means I
...
have five. And that means I get Joey's
...
boxers.
...
Fine, gang up on me. I got you all right
...
where I want you.
...
>> Come on, take them off.
...
>> Actually, you know, it's kind of cold.
...
So, how about I keep my boxers on and
...
give you all a peek at the good stuff.
...
>> Look, I feel really bad about how I
...
freaked you out before, so I called the
...
father and asked him to meet you here so
...
you could tell him. Go. What? Hey, wait
...
a minute. Baby, how do you even know who
...
the father is? I may play the fool at
...
times, but I'm a little more than just a
...
pretty blonde girl with an ass that
...
won't quit.
...
I believe this belongs to the father of
...
your baby.
...
>> Oh god.
...
Oh, he's in there right now.
...
>> Uh-huh. Now you can turn around or you
...
can go in there and rip the band-aid
...
off. What do you want to do?
...
Oh,
...
>> let's rip.
...
>> Really? Are you sure? Oh, Phoebe. Okay,
...
sorry. Yeah.
...
>> Hey, Ra.
...
>> So, what's this about?
...
>> Rachel has something that she wants to
...
tell you. And um I believe that this is
...
your red sweater.
...
>> No,
...
>> this is my red sweater.
...
>> Oh, no.
...
Could I get anyone a coffee or
...
poison? No, just for me. Okay.
...
>> What's going on, Ra?
...
>> Nothing. Phoebe kind of made a mistake.
...
But, you know, you do wear that sweater
...
a lot. Are are you involved in some kind
...
of dare?
...
>> You know, I'm actually glad Phoebe
...
called.
...
I know we broke up cuz you thought I
...
wasn't mature enough, but I've really
...
grown up and I think we should get back
...
together. Oh,
...
>> it's just not the right time.
...
>> It is the right time.
...
>> Okay,
...
>> I'm ready for more.
...
>> Tag,
...
>> come on, Ra. Let's give it another try.
...
>> I'm having a baby.
...
>> Oh.
...
You can go.
...
>> Thank you.
...
>> What am I sitting on?
...
>> Top of the world. Dock of the bay.
...
>> I'm out.
...
>> Oh, yeah. Why are these? Oh,
...
>> all right. Whose are they?
...
>> Whose are they?
...
>> Not mine.
...
>> Well, they're Joey's. They got to be
...
joys.
...
>> Yeah, they're mine.
...
>> See, Joy's the Joey Joies.
...
>> Why are they here?
...
>> I don't know. Uh,
...
I'm Joey.
...
>> Yeah, I'm disgusting. I take my
...
underwear off in other people's homes.
...
>> Well, get him out of here. What's wrong
...
with you?
...
>> YEAH.
...
>> YEAH.
...
TAKE THEM.
...
>> JOEY, you can touch them. They're your
...
underwear.
...
>> Chandler, a word.
...
>> Yeah,
...
>> that's it. I'm tired of covering for you
...
two. This has got to stop.
...
>> Hey Guess what I got for your wedding? A
...
>> freakishly thin date with a hanger for a
...
head.
...
>> No, Rachel hooked me up with a tux. But
...
not just any tux. Batman's tux.
...
>> That's right. Made expressly for Val
...
Kilmer and worn by him in the hit film
...
that Batman film he was in.
...
>> You can't wear that. I'm wearing the
...
famous tux. James Bond's tux.
...
>> So
...
>> So if you wear that, it'll make mine
...
less special.
...
Well, you need something to make this
...
date special. Hello. You had the most
...
special thing of all. You are marrying
...
the woman you love.
...
>> Please don't take away my cool thing.
...
Please, pretty please.
...
>> Pretty please. Not very uh 007.
...
>> Look, it's my wedding day, okay? If you
...
were getting married, I would never do
...
anything to upset you.
...
>> When I got married, you slept with my
...
sister.
...
>> That was pretty 007. Give me back my
...
sweater or it's handbag marinara.
...
>> You don't have the guts.
...
>> Oh yeah? Well, at least I wasn't too
...
chicken to tell some guy I thought he
...
was cute.
...
>> Oh. All right. Stop. Stop the madness.
...
This is crazy. Who can even remember why
...
you started fighting in the FIRST PLACE?
...
>> SHE KNEW THAT I JO
...
YES, that's right.
...
But still, I look at your purse.
...
Look at your sweater.
...
Look at yourselves.
...
I'll help you fix your sweater.
...
I'll help you throw out your purse.
...
>> I'm sorry that I made you stop seeing
...
him.
...
>> Well, I'm sorry I went out with him when
...
I knew you liked him.
...
>> I'm sorry that I borrowed your gloves.
...
>> Hey guys. Hey. Soap.
...
What do you think?
...
>> About what? What?
...
>> Yeah. What?
...
>> Are you kidding?
...
>> Okay, I'll give you a hint. I'll give
...
you a hint.
...
>> Eyes. No. No. Your eyes? No. Chandler's
...
eyes.
...
>> I got glasses.
...
>> You always had glasses.
...
>> No, I didn't.
...
>> Are you sure?
...
Yeah. Did Didn't you used to have a
...
pair? They were really round and
...
burgundy and they made you look kind of
...
um
...
>> feminine.
...
>> Yes.
...
>> No,
...
>> sweetie. I think the glasses look great.
...
They make you look really sexy.
...
>> Really?
...
>> Yeah.
...
>> And you didn't think I used to wear
...
glasses, right?
...
>> Of course.
...
>> So, the Porsche guy took his car back.
...
But you found the keys to his clothes.
...
>> No, I just uh I just love the way it
...
feels when everybody thinks I own a
...
Porsche.
...
>> And people would think you own a Porsche
...
because you're wearing the clothes.
...
>> Of course,
...
only an idiot would wear this stuff if
...
you didn't have the car.
...
>> That is true.
...
>> Yeah, but only a genius would swallow a
...
sonic blaster gun. Oh, I've been there.
...
>> I am going to go drive my Porsche.
...
>> Joey, you know you don't actually have
...
one.
...
>> Come on. What are you doing? I'm in
...
character. Will you talk to her?
...
>> Hey. Hey. Hey. Careful around my
...
Porsche.
...
>> Hi, Joey.
...
>> Hey. How you doing?
...
>> He has the most amazing Porsche under
...
there. I'd love to show you, but I just
...
tucked her in. She's sleeping.
...
>> Hey, uh, would you two girls like to go
...
for a drink?
...
>> Uh, here's a box of your stuff.
...
>> What?
...
>> Uh, you know, it's just like hats and
...
shirt and CDs. Just sort of stuff that
...
you've left here.
...
>> What are you doing? Are you Are you
...
trying to hurt me or something?
...
>> No.
...
Ross, it
...
it just seems that, you know, it's time
...
we, you know, move on. I I mean, don't
...
you think?
...
>> Yes.
...
>> Yeah.
...
>> Yes, I do.
...
>> Yeah. I I really do.
...
Hey,
...
this this was a gift.
...
>> Ross, you got that for free from the
...
museum gift shop.
...
>> It's still a gift. I got it from the
...
gift shop.
...
Okay. All right. Give me the mug. I'll
...
keep the mug.
...
>> No. You know, you know, don't do me any
...
favors. In fact, where
...
where's the rest of my stuff? Huh? Like,
...
like my um Hey, this book is mine.
...
And and and and that t-shirt you sleep
...
in. I'd like that back, too. Yes, I do.
...
>> You know how much I love that t-shirt.
...
You never even wear that t-shirt. I'm
...
just trying to help you move on.
...
>> Oh, you are a petty man. You are a
...
petty, petty, petty,
...
>> petty, petty small.
...
>> You are so just doing this out of spite.
...
>> A no, no, no. I'm I'm going to wear this
...
all the time. I love this shirt.
...
>> You have not worn that t-shirt since you
...
were 15. It doesn't even fit you
...
anymore.
...
>> Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
...
>> Oh, okay. Okay. Okay.
...
Now,
...
>> if you don't mind, I'm going to take the
...
rest of my stuff
...
and relax
...
in my favorite shirt.
...
You have a pleasant evening.
...
Hey guys.
...
>> Hey sweetie.
...
>> Ready to go?
...
>> Yeah, sure. Oh, I left my purse up at
...
Monica's. I'll be right back.
...
>> Wait a minute.
...
>> What?
...
Ooh.
...
Whoa. That one kept going.
...
>> Wow. You and Phoebe, huh? How long you
...
been going out?
...
>> Over a month. Wow. Maybe, uh, maybe you
...
and I ought to get to know each other a
...
little better.
...
>> Sure, I'd like that.
...
>> Yeah. So, uh,
...
what's your name?
...
>> It's Jake.
...
>> Joey.
...
>> Hey, Jake. Uh, do you like the Knicks?
...
>> Yeah, big fan.
...
>> Me, too. There's a game on Tuesday.
...
>> You want to go?
...
>> Yeah, that'd be great. Let me make sure
...
I'm not doing anything Tuesday.
...
Hey, Pete. Hey.
...
>> Listen, you know how uh when you're
...
wearing pants and you lean forward, I
...
check out your underwear?
...
>> Yeah.
...
Well, when Jake did it, I saw that he
...
was wearing women's underwear.
...
>> I know. They were mine.
...
>> Oh,
...
no. No, wait. That's weird.
...
>> No, it's not. We were just goofing
...
around and I dared him to try them on.
...
>> That's weird.
...
>> I'm wearing his briefs right now.
...
>> That's kind of hot.
...
>> I think so, too.
...
>> And that little flap great for holding
...
my lipstick.
...
>> Yeah, I wouldn't know about that.
...
And you know Jake says that women's
...
underwear is actually more comfortable
...
and he loves the way the silk feels
...
against his skin.
...
>> Yeah. Well, next thing you know he'll be
...
telling you that your high heels are
...
good for his posture.
...
>> There is nothing wrong with Jake. Okay.
...
He is all man. I'm thinking even more
...
than you.
...
>> Oh yeah. He look like a real lumberjack
...
in those pink laces.
...
I'm just saying that only a man
...
completely secure with his masculinity
...
could walk around in women's underwear.
...
I don't think you could ever do that.
...
>> Hey, I am secure with my masculinity.
...
>> Okay, whatever.
...
>> You've seen my huge stack of porn,
...
right?
...
Yeah.
...
>> Hey, Febs. Hey,
...
>> check it out.
...
>> Huh?
...
>> All right.
...
>> How much of a man am I?
...
>> Wow. Nice. Manly and also kind of a
...
...
>> You know, I'm beginning to see what Jake
...
was talking about.
...
>> The silk feels really good.
...
>> Yeah. And and things aren't as smashed
...
down as I thought they were going to be.
...
>> It's great, Joe.
...
>> Yeah. And you have so many more choices
...
than you do with men's underwear.
...
Bikini, French cut, thong, and and the
...
fabrics. You got cotton, silk, lace, and
...
you know what? I've always wondered
...
about
...
>> panty hoes.
...
>> You know, the way they start at your toe
...
and then they go all the way up to
...
>> I should go take these off, shouldn't I?
...
>> I think it's important that you do.
...
feel better?
...
>> Yeah. Much
...
Listen, uh not that I'm insecure about
...
my manhood or anything, you know, but uh
...
I think I need to hook up with a woman
...
like right now.
...
>> Yeah, I understand.
...
>> Yeah. Okay.
...
>> Hey. Hi.
...
>> Hi.
...
>> You look familiar. Do I know you from
...
somewhere? I don't think so.
...
>> Maybe it's because I'm on television.
...
>> I'm an actor on Days of Our Lives.
...
>> Wow.
...
>> Really?
...
>> Mhm.
...
>> 450, please.
...
>> Oh, let me get this.
...
>> These are for you.
...
>> Hey. Hey. Where is everybody? They took
...
Ben to the park. Where have you been?
...
Just out. Had some lunch. Just me.
...
Little quality time with me. Hey, thanks
...
for your jacket.
...
>> Oh, no problem. You can borrow it, by
...
the way.
...
Oh, here are your keys, honey.
...
>> Man. Mhm.
...
>> If uh you were at lunch alone, how come
...
it cost you uh $53?
...
You know what probably happened?
...
Someone must have stolen my credit card.
...
And sort of just put the receipt back in
...
your pocket.
...
That is an excellent, excellent
...
question.
...
That is excellent.
...
Monica, what's with you? Who did you
...
have lunch with?
...
>> Judy. Who?
...
>> Julie.
...
>> What?
...
>> Jodie.
...
You were with Julie? Oh, look.
...
When it started, I was just trying to be
...
nice to her because she was my brother's
...
girlfriend.
...
And then one thing led to another and
...
before I knew it, we were
...
shopping.
...
Oh my god.
...
Wait, we only did it once.
...
>> It didn't mean anything to me.
...
Yeah, right.
...
>> Really?
...
>> Sure,
...
>> Rachel. I was thinking of you the whole
...
time.
...
>> Look,
...
I'm sorry. All right. I I never meant
...
for YOU TO FIND OUT.
...
>> OH, PLEASE. PLEASE. YOU WANTED TO GET
...
CAUGHT. THAT IS NOT TRUE.
...
>> OH, SO YOU JUST SORT OF HAPPENED TO
...
LEAVE IT in here? Did it ever occur to
...
you that I might just be that stupid?
...
Okay, Monica, I just have to know one
...
thing.
...
>> Did you go with her to Blooming Dales?
...
>> Okay,
...
okay,
...
okay. I just really um I just really
...
need to not be with you right now.
Key Vocabulary
Start Practicing
| Vocabulary | Meanings |
|---|---|
|
assistant /əˈsɪstənt/ B1 |
|
|
bracelet /ˈbreɪslət/ A2 |
|
|
laundry /ˈlɔːndri/ B1 |
|
|
fashion /ˈfæʃən/ B2 |
|
|
marriage /ˈmærɪdʒ/ B2 |
|
|
sweater /ˈswɛtər/ B1 |
|
|
underwear /ˈʌndərwɛr/ B1 |
|
|
silk /sɪlk/ B2 |
|
|
purse /pɜːrs/ B1 |
|
|
budget /ˈbʌdʒɪt/ B2 |
|
|
dress /drɛs/ A2 |
|
|
compliment /ˈkɒmplɪmənt/ B2 |
|
|
postpone /pəˈstəʊn/ B2 |
|
|
awkward /ˈɔːkwəd/ B2 |
|
|
nervous /ˈnɜːrvəs/ B1 |
|
|
embarrassed /ɪmˈbærəst/ B2 |
|
|
cancel /ˈkænsəl/ B1 |
|
|
couch /kaʊtʃ/ A2 |
|
|
crazy /ˈkreɪzi/ A2 |
|
|
pretend /prɪˈtɛnd/ B1 |
|
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Key Grammar Structures
-
I don't think so, Joe.
➔ Negative agreement with mental verbs
➔ In English, when we express an opinion using 'think', we usually negate the first verb rather than the second: 'I don't think it is' instead of 'I think it isn't'.
-
I just need to be in a room again with these people and feel good about myself.
➔ Infinitive phrase acting as object
➔ The verb 'need' is followed by the infinitive 'to be' to describe the necessary action.
-
If the paste matches the pants, you can make yourself a pair of paste pants.
➔ First Conditional (Real possibility)
➔ Uses 'If' + present simple, followed by 'can/will' + base verb to talk about a potential situation.
-
You'll fit right in.
➔ Phrasal verb 'fit in'
➔ To 'fit in' means to be socially compatible with a group.
-
I'm going to miss being able to afford food.
➔ Gerund after a verb of emotion
➔ The verb 'miss' takes the -ing form (gerund) to express the regret of losing an ability or state.
-
I'm a laundry virgin.
➔ Use of metaphorical nouns
➔ Adding 'virgin' to a noun is a common informal way to express that someone is doing something for the first time.
-
I suggest something like these to Ralph Lauren.
➔ Subjunctive mood/Suggestion structure
➔ The structure 'suggest that someone (should) do something' is used here to give advice.
-
You shouldn't have done that.
➔ Modal perfect (Should have + past participle)
➔ Used to express criticism or regret about a past action that did not happen as desired.
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