Game show host Shan: Welcome to “Is
This a Real Sex Thing?” Here's your
00:00
first — and only — question. Which
of these is not a real sex thing?
00:04
Being aroused by feet. Using foods during sex,
00:09
like melted chocolate or whipped cream.
And enjoying being blindfolded during sex.
00:13
[audience gasps]
00:19
It's a trick question!
They're all real sex things.
00:20
Hi, I’m Shan Boodram, this is Crash
Course Sex Ed, and today we’re talking
00:25
about kinks—and how common they really are.
We’ll be right back after these messages.
00:29
[THEME MUSIC]
00:35
A kink is a non-conventional sexual
behavior or desire — things like
00:40
wanting to be watched during sex,
or being really into rubber outfits.
00:43
Sometimes these desires live
in the realm of fantasy,
00:47
where just the mental image turns a person
on and they don’t actually act on it.
00:50
Other times, those desires are an
active part of someone’s sex life.
00:54
As a culture, we often think of kinks
as the Diablo level in the Taco Bell hot
00:57
sauce taxonomy. “Mild is for the masses, but
only some go for the really hot spicy stuff.”
01:02
Except, apparently… a lot of people go for the
01:08
spicy-hot stuff. And kinks? They’re
more common than you might think.
01:11
As we learned way back in our first episode,
our ideas about which sexual expressions are
01:15
“normal” are shaped by the time
and place we live in. In reality,
01:20
when it comes to sexuality and
sexual behavior, variety is the norm.
01:23
Just check out these three studies from
Canada, Italy, and the US. Over half
01:28
of surveyed Canadians said they’d fantasized
about having sex in public or being dominated.
01:32
Sixty-eight percent of Italians said they’d had
a kinky fantasy at least once in their lives,
01:37
the most common being voyeurism, or
getting aroused by watching someone
01:41
else get undressed, be naked,
or engage in sexual activity.
01:45
And more than ninety percent of surveyed Americans
01:48
said they’d fantasized about being
dominated or dominating their partner.
01:51
No, this survey was not conducted in a movie
theater showing “Fifty Shades of Grey.”.
01:55
“But why, Shan?” I hear you asking. Why do
some people like pain, or tentacle stuff,
01:59
or wearing diapers? Wherefore art thou kinky?
02:03
Well, compared to other sex-related topics,
there hasn’t been a ton of research about
02:06
kinks. But from what studies have been done
so far, the answer may be: a lot of reasons!
02:10
One hypothesis is that kinks are learned—kind
of like how Pavlov’s dogs started drooling
02:15
when they heard a bell because they
associated the sound with dinnertime.
02:20
Sometimes, if an early experience of pleasure
co-stars a not-obviously-sexy object,
02:23
sexy feelings can become linked
to it. And voilà—a kink is born.
02:29
Certain kinks may also correlate with
personality traits, like if someone is
02:32
introverted or extroverted. And those traits can
be influenced by genetics. But the data on this is
02:36
especially limited — it's just not something
many researchers have asked people about!
02:41
You also might have heard these kinds of
sexual interests described as fetishes.
02:46
But a fetish isn’t the same thing as a kink. A
kink broadly describes taboo sexual behaviors,
02:50
even if they’re not actually that unusual.
02:56
But a fetish is a particular type of
kink, where somebody’s aroused by a
02:59
specific object like leather or underwear,
or a non-genital body part like hair or feet.
03:02
In any case, one 2017 study found
that if somebody had a fetish,
03:08
that’s not the only way they wanted to have
sex. They just extra enjoyed it that way.
03:12
Here’s the thing, though: When Diablo sauce, or
mango habanero, or Da Bomb isn’t something you’re
03:17
personally into, it’s easy to get caught up in
your own “ick” and judge people who do like it.
03:23
That’s part of why some people with fetishes may
hesitate to tell their partners about them.
03:28
But as long as everybody involved consents, kinks and
fetishes can be a fun and fulfilling part of sex.
03:32
Like, to give one big example… a kink
that often gets misunderstood is BDSM.
03:39
The definition has changed over time, but today,
03:44
it’s generally understood to cover
bondage, discipline and submission,
03:46
and sadism and masochism—sex acts that often play
with power dynamics or giving and receiving pain.
03:50
Which might sound surprising—how does
“ow” translate into “ooooh?” Well,
03:57
there’s some evidence that the processing
of pleasure and pain are closely linked in
04:02
the brain, since they both are tangled
up in the opioid and dopamine systems.
04:06
But playing with pain requires
caution. Research has shown that
04:10
injuries from BDSM activities do happen,
both intentionally and unintentionally.
04:14
But the BDSM community puts a strong
emphasis on consent and safety.
04:19
In good BDSM practices, it’s crucial to talk
about what’s on the table and what’s off-limits
04:24
before getting started, to use a “safe word”
that puts a stop to the action at any time,
04:29
and to move back into a place of care
and gentleness as things taper off.
04:34
And for many, it’s the meaning given to
pain that makes it pleasurable. Some people
04:39
who enjoy BDSM say the contrast of pain
makes the feeling of pleasure stronger,
04:43
kinda like adding salt to chocolate
chip cookies to bring out the sweetness.
04:47
And sometimes, BDSM isn’t all about
having sex! For a lot of people,
04:51
the appeal is giving up power or taking power,
04:55
in ways they don’t always get to do in their
everyday lives—what’s called power exchange.
04:57
The same could be said for furries—people who
roleplay as human-like animals through art,
05:02
writing, or dressing up in costumes known
as “fursuits” as part of their “fursona.”
05:06
For some furries, that’s partially a sex thing—but
not always! The appeal can also be imagination,
05:11
play, and the freedom of shedding
their regular selves for a while,
05:17
whether sex is part of the picture or not.
05:20
No matter the reason, humans do be kinky. But, is
there a point where kinky behaviors go from “fun,
05:23
spicy taco topping” to “why would anyone
make sauce that hot?!” In other words,
05:28
is there a point where kinks become a problem?
05:34
Well, it depends. Any good thing can
become a problem if taken to extremes.
05:37
But where exactly that line
falls can be complicated.
05:41
So-called “abnormal” sexual interests
aren’t inherently bad. The DSM-5,
05:45
the American Psychiatric Association’s guide
for classifying and diagnosing mental illnesses,
05:50
uses the term paraphilia — “para” meaning “going
beyond” and philia meaning “attachment” — to
05:55
describe “an intense and persistent
sexual interest” between consenting,
06:00
adult partners. By itself, this
isn’t necessarily a problem.
06:04
But if someone’s paraphilia becomes
distressing or harmful to themselves
06:08
or others, the DSM-5 classifies it as
a paraphilic disorder. In this case,
06:12
someone might be referred to a
counselor, or prescribed a medication.
06:17
Some experts warn that classifying certain
behaviors as “disorders” is problematic,
06:20
because what’s considered “normal” often depends
on cultural and sociopolitical factors. So there
06:25
are calls for more research around paraphilic
disorders to clarify the DSM’s classifications.
06:30
Kinks aren’t for everybody; if they were,
they wouldn’t be kinks! But a lot of the
06:36
ones that many people think of as “unusual”
aren’t as uncommon as they’re made out to be.
06:40
What we do, think, and feel when it comes
to sex can be an expression of who we are,
06:45
but it’s also shaped by the
time and place we live in.
06:50
In the end, sexuality is deliciously
diverse. That’s a theme we’ve kept
06:52
coming back to throughout this entire
series. What’s one person’s “Yes,
06:57
please!”might be another person’s “No, thanks!”
07:00
And you know what? That’s thrilling!
There’s room for everyone to have an
07:03
amazing time with a partner who feels the same
way. There’s space to keep trying new things,
07:06
or return to tried-and-true favorites.
07:11
No matter the recipe, good sex
comes down to the same ingredients:
07:13
it’s consensual and it’s safe, and there’s
trust, fun, and delight for everybody involved.
07:17
And with that… Crash Course Sex Ed is a wrap!
07:22
How ya feeling, Teen Shan?
07:26
Teen Shan: You’ve definitely cleared
a lot of things up. Thanks, Old Shan!
07:27
Shan: Girl, who are you calling old?
07:31
Teen Shan: Whoops. One more
condom balloon for the road?
07:33
This episode of Crash Course Sex Ed
was produced in partnership with the
07:36
Kinsey Institute at Indiana University.
If you are interested in learning more,
07:39
visit their website for resources that explore
the topics we discussed in the video today.
07:43
Thank you for watching this episode, which was
filmed at our studio in Indianapolis and was
07:48
made with the help of all these extremely
talented people. If you want to help keep
07:52
Crash Course free for everyone, forever,
you can join our community on Patreon.
07:56
Lyrics & Translation
[English]
Game show host Shan: Welcome to “Is
This a Real Sex Thing?” Here's your
first — and only — question. Which
of these is not a real sex thing?
Being aroused by feet. Using foods during sex,
like melted chocolate or whipped cream.
And enjoying being blindfolded during sex.
[audience gasps]
It's a trick question!
They're all real sex things.
Hi, I’m Shan Boodram, this is Crash
Course Sex Ed, and today we’re talking
about kinks—and how common they really are.
We’ll be right back after these messages.
[THEME MUSIC]
A kink is a non-conventional sexual
behavior or desire — things like
wanting to be watched during sex,
or being really into rubber outfits.
Sometimes these desires live
in the realm of fantasy,
where just the mental image turns a person
on and they don’t actually act on it.
Other times, those desires are an
active part of someone’s sex life.
As a culture, we often think of kinks
as the Diablo level in the Taco Bell hot
sauce taxonomy. “Mild is for the masses, but
only some go for the really hot spicy stuff.”
Except, apparently… a lot of people go for the
spicy-hot stuff. And kinks? They’re
more common than you might think.
As we learned way back in our first episode,
our ideas about which sexual expressions are
“normal” are shaped by the time
and place we live in. In reality,
when it comes to sexuality and
sexual behavior, variety is the norm.
Just check out these three studies from
Canada, Italy, and the US. Over half
of surveyed Canadians said they’d fantasized
about having sex in public or being dominated.
Sixty-eight percent of Italians said they’d had
a kinky fantasy at least once in their lives,
the most common being voyeurism, or
getting aroused by watching someone
else get undressed, be naked,
or engage in sexual activity.
And more than ninety percent of surveyed Americans
said they’d fantasized about being
dominated or dominating their partner.
No, this survey was not conducted in a movie
theater showing “Fifty Shades of Grey.”.
“But why, Shan?” I hear you asking. Why do
some people like pain, or tentacle stuff,
or wearing diapers? Wherefore art thou kinky?
Well, compared to other sex-related topics,
there hasn’t been a ton of research about
kinks. But from what studies have been done
so far, the answer may be: a lot of reasons!
One hypothesis is that kinks are learned—kind
of like how Pavlov’s dogs started drooling
when they heard a bell because they
associated the sound with dinnertime.
Sometimes, if an early experience of pleasure
co-stars a not-obviously-sexy object,
sexy feelings can become linked
to it. And voilà—a kink is born.
Certain kinks may also correlate with
personality traits, like if someone is
introverted or extroverted. And those traits can
be influenced by genetics. But the data on this is
especially limited — it's just not something
many researchers have asked people about!
You also might have heard these kinds of
sexual interests described as fetishes.
But a fetish isn’t the same thing as a kink. A
kink broadly describes taboo sexual behaviors,
even if they’re not actually that unusual.
But a fetish is a particular type of
kink, where somebody’s aroused by a
specific object like leather or underwear,
or a non-genital body part like hair or feet.
In any case, one 2017 study found
that if somebody had a fetish,
that’s not the only way they wanted to have
sex. They just extra enjoyed it that way.
Here’s the thing, though: When Diablo sauce, or
mango habanero, or Da Bomb isn’t something you’re
personally into, it’s easy to get caught up in
your own “ick” and judge people who do like it.
That’s part of why some people with fetishes may
hesitate to tell their partners about them.
But as long as everybody involved consents, kinks and
fetishes can be a fun and fulfilling part of sex.
Like, to give one big example… a kink
that often gets misunderstood is BDSM.
The definition has changed over time, but today,
it’s generally understood to cover
bondage, discipline and submission,
and sadism and masochism—sex acts that often play
with power dynamics or giving and receiving pain.
Which might sound surprising—how does
“ow” translate into “ooooh?” Well,
there’s some evidence that the processing
of pleasure and pain are closely linked in
the brain, since they both are tangled
up in the opioid and dopamine systems.
But playing with pain requires
caution. Research has shown that
injuries from BDSM activities do happen,
both intentionally and unintentionally.
But the BDSM community puts a strong
emphasis on consent and safety.
In good BDSM practices, it’s crucial to talk
about what’s on the table and what’s off-limits
before getting started, to use a “safe word”
that puts a stop to the action at any time,
and to move back into a place of care
and gentleness as things taper off.
And for many, it’s the meaning given to
pain that makes it pleasurable. Some people
who enjoy BDSM say the contrast of pain
makes the feeling of pleasure stronger,
kinda like adding salt to chocolate
chip cookies to bring out the sweetness.
And sometimes, BDSM isn’t all about
having sex! For a lot of people,
the appeal is giving up power or taking power,
in ways they don’t always get to do in their
everyday lives—what’s called power exchange.
The same could be said for furries—people who
roleplay as human-like animals through art,
writing, or dressing up in costumes known
as “fursuits” as part of their “fursona.”
For some furries, that’s partially a sex thing—but
not always! The appeal can also be imagination,
play, and the freedom of shedding
their regular selves for a while,
whether sex is part of the picture or not.
No matter the reason, humans do be kinky. But, is
there a point where kinky behaviors go from “fun,
spicy taco topping” to “why would anyone
make sauce that hot?!” In other words,
is there a point where kinks become a problem?
Well, it depends. Any good thing can
become a problem if taken to extremes.
But where exactly that line
falls can be complicated.
So-called “abnormal” sexual interests
aren’t inherently bad. The DSM-5,
the American Psychiatric Association’s guide
for classifying and diagnosing mental illnesses,
uses the term paraphilia — “para” meaning “going
beyond” and philia meaning “attachment” — to
describe “an intense and persistent
sexual interest” between consenting,
adult partners. By itself, this
isn’t necessarily a problem.
But if someone’s paraphilia becomes
distressing or harmful to themselves
or others, the DSM-5 classifies it as
a paraphilic disorder. In this case,
someone might be referred to a
counselor, or prescribed a medication.
Some experts warn that classifying certain
behaviors as “disorders” is problematic,
because what’s considered “normal” often depends
on cultural and sociopolitical factors. So there
are calls for more research around paraphilic
disorders to clarify the DSM’s classifications.
Kinks aren’t for everybody; if they were,
they wouldn’t be kinks! But a lot of the
ones that many people think of as “unusual”
aren’t as uncommon as they’re made out to be.
What we do, think, and feel when it comes
to sex can be an expression of who we are,
but it’s also shaped by the
time and place we live in.
In the end, sexuality is deliciously
diverse. That’s a theme we’ve kept
coming back to throughout this entire
series. What’s one person’s “Yes,
please!”might be another person’s “No, thanks!”
And you know what? That’s thrilling!
There’s room for everyone to have an
amazing time with a partner who feels the same
way. There’s space to keep trying new things,
or return to tried-and-true favorites.
No matter the recipe, good sex
comes down to the same ingredients:
it’s consensual and it’s safe, and there’s
trust, fun, and delight for everybody involved.
And with that… Crash Course Sex Ed is a wrap!
How ya feeling, Teen Shan?
Teen Shan: You’ve definitely cleared
a lot of things up. Thanks, Old Shan!
Shan: Girl, who are you calling old?
Teen Shan: Whoops. One more
condom balloon for the road?
This episode of Crash Course Sex Ed
was produced in partnership with the
Kinsey Institute at Indiana University.
If you are interested in learning more,
visit their website for resources that explore
the topics we discussed in the video today.
Thank you for watching this episode, which was
filmed at our studio in Indianapolis and was
made with the help of all these extremely
talented people. If you want to help keep
Crash Course free for everyone, forever,
you can join our community on Patreon.
Key Vocabulary
Start Practicing
| Vocabulary | Meanings |
|---|---|
|
kink /kɪŋk/ B2 |
|
|
desire /dɪˈzaɪər/ B1 |
|
|
fantasy /ˈfæntəsi/ B2 |
|
|
spicy /ˈspaɪsi/ B1 |
|
|
normal /ˈnɔːrməl/ A2 |
|
|
surveyed /sərˈveɪd/ B2 |
|
|
dominated /ˈdɑːmɪneɪtɪd/ B2 |
|
|
voyeurism /ˈvɔɪjərɪzəm/ C1 |
|
|
aroused /əˈraʊzd/ B2 |
|
|
pain /peɪn/ A1 |
|
|
fetish /ˈfetɪʃ/ C1 |
|
|
consent /kənˈsent/ B2 |
|
|
bondage /ˈbɑːndɪdʒ/ C1 |
|
|
discipline /ˈdɪsəplɪn/ B2 |
|
|
submission /səbˈmɪʃən/ C1 |
|
|
sadism /ˈseɪdɪzəm/ C1 |
|
|
masochism /ˈmæsəkɪzəm/ C1 |
|
|
diverse /daɪˈvɜːrs/ B2 |
|
“kink, desire, fantasy” – got them all figured out?
⚡ Dive into vocabulary challenges in the app and lock in your knowledge right after jamming to ""
Key Grammar Structures
Coming Soon!
We're updating this section. Stay tuned!
Related Songs