– 英语/中文 双语歌词

歌词与翻译

[中文]

你好。

嗨。菲比在吗？

>> 呃不，不，她

晚上出去了。

>> 哦，太棒了。

>> 我可以帮你做点什么吗？

>> 哦，我不知道。你是一个悲伤的人吗？

>> 是的，我是。

>> 好吧，

爸爸。

非常感谢。一小时后我会回来接他

。

[音乐]

[掌声]

[音乐]

[音乐]

好的，

现在我要

触摸你。

>> 哦，太软了。

[音乐]

[笑声]

嘿，你们在说什么

你们在说什么？

>> 什么也没有。

>> 是的。

>> 该死，这咖啡冷了。嘿，Ra，

你介意我把这个加热到你的

腰部吗？

>> 你知道，我不敢相信你告诉了他，

乔伊。

所以，我猜你是在

我们分手后买了那本书，是吧？

>> 嗯嗯。是的，我这么做是因为当我和你在一起时，我的第一份副本已经磨损了

。

>> 哦，是的。是的。嗯，呃，当我们

出去时，我读了很多色情

杂志。

怎么了，

>> 老板？你怎么能这样对一个

老人？

>> 对不起，女士们。

来了。

>> 我对你有意见。

>> 呃哦。

>> 是的。本学到了一个小技巧。

>> 哦，是的。他拉了吗？

>> 没错。这是正确的。

马桶座圈上的保鲜膜。所以 P

无处不在。

>> 哦，那个。

>> 是的，就是这样。你知道，我讨厌

的恶作剧。他们很卑鄙，也很愚蠢

，而且我不想让我的儿子学习

。

>> 哦，来吧。保鲜膜包裹在马桶

座上。你不觉得这

有点好笑吗？

>> 我赤脚。

>> 现在告诉我，厕所的事情是你教他的

唯一的事情，对吧？

是的。

>> 很高兴他们要离开，因为呃我

需要和你谈谈一些事情。

>> 怎么了？

>> 好吧，这呃这可能有点

尴尬。

>> 听着，如果你想借钱，

这段时间有点糟糕。明晚我要为 128 人购买

晚餐。

>> 不是那样的。嗯，现在我

要对你说的话，我不是说

是你的朋友，好吗？我是作为莫妮卡的哥哥说的

。

>> 但你仍然是我的朋友。

>> 接下来的几分钟不会。

这段时间，你还是

我的伴郎吗？

>> 不。

>> 我还叫你罗斯吗？

>> 好的。

>> 你们明天就要结婚了。

我为你们

感到无比兴奋。但作为莫妮卡的

哥哥，我必须告诉你这一点。

如果你伤害了我的妹妹，

如果你给她带来任何

任何形式的不快乐，我会追捕你

并踢你的屁股。

>> 什么？我我我我是认真的。

>> 好的，伙计。停止吧。好的。我不是

在开玩笑。

>> 嘿，我听到你在说什么。好的。

感谢您的警告。

>> 没问题。

>> 那么，我们又是朋友了吗？

>> 是的。

>> 好的。

你不会相信莫妮卡的

哥哥刚刚对我说的话。

>> 乔伊，嗯，你看起来很眼熟。嗯，

你在电视上吗？

>> 好吧，乔伊不喜欢谈论

，但他是

我们的生活中的明星之一。

没错。这是正确的。你不要

扮演女人。

>> 男人身体里的女人。

好多了。

所以，你知道，罗斯，这很有趣，因为你

我看起来也很熟悉。你

结过婚吗？

>> 嗯，是的。是的，我有。事实上，嗯，

就在前几天，克里斯和我正在

谈论我是如何结婚的以及

我如何有一个儿子。

>> 是的，小埃里克。

>> 没错。等等，不，本。

>> 那么，您刚刚结婚过一次

？

>> 嗯，

>> 你结过两次婚。

>> 是的。

之后又

。

孩子，我饿了。

呃，嘿乔伊，你有没有在约会时

那么饿，以至于当女孩

去洗手间时，你吃了一些她的

食物？

>> 你说服务员吃了我的蟹饼。

>> 是的。那么，呃，罗斯，为什么

第一次婚姻会破裂？嗯。

是因为该女子是异性恋还是

因为她是女同性恋？

>> 你们两个认识吗？

>> 不不不不。罗斯似乎

是那种会娶一个即将成为女同性恋的女人

，然后

把她推到崩溃边缘的人。

>> 我需要那辆车作为交通。

好的。我我有一个孩子。

>> 我穿这件看起来有多性感？啊？

>> 罗斯是一辆跑车。把一只袜子塞到那里不是更便宜

吗？

>> 这不是重点。好的。我

是一名跑车爱好者。我一直

很喜欢汽车。

>> 嘿，这

东西的马力是多少？

>> 我不知道，但看看有多闪亮。

>> 我不敢相信你买了这个。那么，

我可以搭车吗，斯蒂芬？

>> 上车。

>> 准备好迎接您

生活中最顺畅的旅程。

该死的。

>> 好吧，下一个是谁？

[音乐]

哇哦！

>> 《虎胆龙威》仍然很棒。

>> 是的。

>> 嘿，你觉得我们把它变成双重

功能怎么样？

>> 你还在做什么？

>> 《虎胆龙威 2》。

>> 乔伊，这又是《虎胆龙威》。

>> 好吧，我们再看一遍，它是

《虎胆龙威 2》。

>> 乔伊，我们刚刚看了它，

>> 很高兴能再次看到它。

是的。死得很惨。

>> 老兄，你没有说死而复生。

>> 一切都好吗？

>> 是的，我刚刚有了计划。

>> 好吧，约翰·姆兰有计划。

>> 不，你看，我想在乔伊工作完毕

离开这里

开始给大家打电话之前

>> 你在说什么，

[音乐]

[掌声]

[音乐]

发生了什么？

>> 我不知道。睡着了。仅此而已。

>> 是的。是的。是的。

好的。好吧，呃，我最好走了。

>> 是的，我认为那是最好的。所以，

>> 好吧。我稍后再跟你谈。

>> 好的。但不是关于这个。

>> 不，从来没有。

>> 从来没有。

>> 那么，呃，呃，

>> 再见。

>> 没有触摸。没有触摸。

[音乐]

>> 嘿，刚刚带回了你的视频。

>> 呃，嘿呃，罗斯，看。呃，我想我们

之前需要讨论一下。

>> 不，不，我们不。

>> 是的，我们愿意。现在，看，这是我睡过的最好的

小睡。

>> 我我不知道你在说什么

。

来吧，承认吧。那是你睡过的最好的午睡

。

>> 我吃过更好的了。

好的。什么时候？

>> 好吧。好的。这是有史以来最好的

小睡。我说过了。好的。但

结束了，乔伊。

>> 我想再做一次。

>> 我们不能再这样做了。

>> 为什么不呢？

>> 因为这很奇怪。

>> 很好。

你想喝点什么吗？

>> 当然。你有什么？温牛奶和

等。

[掌声]

>> 孩子，我告诉你，评判事物

让我付出了很大的努力。

>> 是的。

>> 是的。想想也许可以上楼

，在沙发上小睡一会儿。

>> 为什么我会关心这个？

>> 没有理由。我只是说呃

那就是我要去的地方

[掌声]

[音乐]

睡个好觉。

>> 确实如此。

[鼓掌]

老兄，你到底在做什么？

>> 对不起。

厄恩斯·穆尔格莱德 (Erns Mulgrad) 首先

假设迅猛龙在

受到威胁时会张开项圈并

发出高亢的噪音来吓跑

的捕食者。是的，刘易斯先生。

>> 什么样的噪音？

>> 只是一声高亢的令人生畏的噪音。

>> 但怎么样？

嗯，我们不确定，

但在我的脑海里，听起来

是这样的。呃，

[笑声]

>> 当然，这只是猜测。

>> 庆祝我的

抱歉。显然，我已经打开了通向过去的

之门。

[音乐]

>> 好的。呃，莫妮卡。男人。好的。什么？你刚刚看到了什么

？

>> 我可以问你一个小问题吗？

为什么是今晚？

>> 什么？看吧，我一生

都在等待订婚。与某些

人不同的是，我只打算这样做

一次。

所以，你知道，也许这很自私，

我对此感到抱歉，但我有点

希望今晚就是这样。

>> 哦，亲爱的，但确实如此。不，不是。不，

不，现在是你和罗斯

重归于好。

>> 什么？

>> 是的。嗯，你抢了我的风头。

>> 好的。嗬嗬。我们没有抢了你

的风头，因为我们不会一起回来

。

>> 是的。不。还有，你知道吗？

甚至没有人看到。

>> 是的，

>> 确实如此。

>> 我发誓我们刚刚接吻了。

>> 这只是一个吻。

>> 你们接吻了？

这是什么意思？

>> 你们要复合吗？

我可以在你的婚礼上唱歌吗？

>> 雷霆被盗。

>> 好吧，来吧，宝贝。没什么。

莫妮卡，加油。我们不要小题大做

。

>> 这是一次性的事情。

>> 这根本不重要。

>> 天啊。

>> 我不敢相信你们正在谈论

这个。卧室

中的问题是男人和女人之间的问题。

好吧。现在，钱德勒正在竭尽全力

。

>> 婚礼即将来临。你

紧张吗？

>> 是的，但我的一部分也等不及

直到它结束。

>> 钱德勒和我有这个包，以便在婚礼之前不要再次发生性行为

。

>> 无性契约，嗯？

事实上，我的每一位美国女性都在经历这样的事情

。

>> 嘿，维维，你能帮我一下吗？得到

来整理客房。嘿，

表弟卡西要来和我们一起住

几天。卡西。

>> 我已经很久没见过她了。我

想知道她是否仍然带着芭比娃娃

无论走到哪里。

>> Ra，她25岁了。

>> 那又怎样？我还是不，你可能是

是对的。

>> 这应该最终证明

我首先想到了侏罗纪公园的想法。

让我们看一下这个。

>> 菲。我的天啊。你在这里做什么

？

>> 我需要和你谈谈。非常紧急

。这是关于莫妮卡和钱德勒的。

>> 天啊。嗯，当然。呃，

请打扰一下好吗？嗯，

你们知道彼此的家乡吗？为什么

你不

发生了什么事？

>> 嗯，嗯，没什么，但我只是

想，既然那些人刚刚订婚

，如果他们

有一些隐私可能会很好，你知道吗？那么，我可以

搬来和你一起住几天吗？

>> 嗯，好吧。是的，当然。但是莫妮卡和钱德勒

出了什么问题？

>> 什么都没有。为什么，

>> 菲比？你说事情紧急。

>> 哦，是的，是的。我要去看电影

，电影大约五分钟后就开始了。

>> 你知道我的教室里挤满了

名学生吗？

>> 哦，对不起。我太粗鲁了。有人

想来看电影吗？

>> 不过钱德勒刚刚离开。

>> 是的，但也许这不是我们想的那样。

也许是告诉莫妮卡我很抱歉。我

喝完了最后一杯牛奶。或者也许他

他写信是为了告诉她

他改了名字。你知道，告诉

莫妮卡我很抱歉。

>> 我认为这意味着他吓坏了，

离开了。

>> 别那么消极。

天啊。抱歉

现在不可能就坐在那儿吗？

>> 好的，菲比。我认为罗斯是对的。我

我们要做什么？

>> 看。好吧，我要去

去找他并带他来

回来了。好吧，你确保 Monica

不会发现。好的。

>> 好吧，但是如果你找不到他并

把他带回来，我就会追捕你

并踢你的屁股。

>> 我会的，我会找到他的。

>> 所以，我今天刚刚和一位决斗

作家交谈过。

>> 什么是决斗？

>> 我们生命中的日子。

>> 无论如何，你都不会相信。

我的角色正在从昏迷中苏醒。

>> 不仅如此，我还获得了

新大脑。

>> 所以，工作

和您的个人生活中正在发生伟大的事情。

>> 等等，你的

新大脑是什么意思？

>> 哦，好吧，他们正在杀死节目中的

角色之一，当她

死亡时，她的大脑将

移植到我的身体中。

>> 什么？脑移植？这

很荒谬。哦，我认为

你已经三个半月没有做爱了，这很荒谬。

。

>> 现在是冬天。

街上的人少了。

>> 他们要杀谁？

>> 呃塞西莉亚梦露。她扮演杰西卡

洛克哈特。

>> 没有。不。

>> 她很擅长把饮料泼到

个人脸上。我的意思是，我认为

我从来没有见过她喝完一杯饮料。

>> 还有她总是

打人的方式。你愿意这样做吗？是的。

一次。

>> 哦，做吧。

>> 阿姨，她一直在节目中。

要填补她的

鞋子真的很难。

>> 是的。是的。帮帮我吧。当你

当你从大脑

移植中出来时，

你将成为她。

>> 是的，但是在德雷克·里斯的身体里。

>> 为什么这对你来说这么难得到？我

以为你是一名科学家。

>> 一些陌生人将住在

我的房间里。好吧，在妈妈和

爸爸把它当作你的圣地15年后，现在是

天鹅绒绳索下来的时候了。

>> 我保留了你的房间一段时间。哦，

>> 请。我搬出去 20

分钟后，爸爸就把我的房间变成了健身房。我必须说，

一张晒黑床和一叠维多利亚的

秘密目录。不是健身房。

>> 来吧。你知道他们爱你

>> 就像他们爱你一样。

>> 我是他们的长子。他们认为她

不能生育。这不是我的错。

看，我所有的东西都是安全干燥的，而

她所有的东西都是在种植新的东西。

瞧，正是这种事情

让她认为你们爱我

胜过爱她。

>> 天啊。她真的这么认为吗？

>> 好吧，你能怪她吗？

>> 我不知道。我我想我们可能在不知不觉中

偏爱你。你是

医学奇迹。医生说你的

母亲可以。

>> 爸爸，我不想听这个。

>> 真的吗？

>> 好吧，现在还不行。

是的，先生。

>> 莫里斯先生，我需要和您谈谈

您的期中考试。

恐怕我让你失望了。

>> 为什么？

>> 好吧，你需要 60% 才能通过。

>> 我得到了什么？

>> 七。

>> 这不太好。

>> 不，不，不是。什么？奈德，

那里发生了什么？

>> 好吧，也许你可以放宽我的要求。

我有点恋爱了。

好吧，

>> 抱歉，但这确实不是我的

问题。

>> 我爱你。

>> 好吧，这让我有点

的循环。

瞧，这就是为什么我在

测试中表现如此糟糕。当你在上面

集中注意力。

教学并且你的表情变得

严肃时，我很难

看起来很不错。

你穿着那件紧身小高领

毛衣。

>> 好的。

嗯，我呃我是你的老师。对不起。

你是一名学生，而我和我喜欢

女性，尽管

其中一些椅子的靠背上可能写着什么。

>> 您好，先生。您是来退货

裤子的吗？

>> 不，这是我的裤子。

哦，好吧。

需要什么帮助吗？

>> 嗯，你还有圣诞老人服装

吗

>> 圣诞节前 2 天？对不起，伙计。

>> 好吧，看看，你有什么东西吗，呃

Christmy？我答应了我儿子，我

真的不想让他失望。嗯，

来吧。我你必须有一些东西。

我是节日犰狳。

我是圣诞老人的朋友，他派我

来这里祝你圣诞快乐。

>> 圣诞老人怎么了？假期

犰狳。

>> 圣诞老人没空。距离

圣诞节如此之近。

>> 哦，进来吧，坐吧。从德克萨斯州千里迢迢而来，你一定

筋疲力尽了。

德克萨斯州。

>> 没错，本。我是圣诞老人的

代表，代表所有南部

州

和墨西哥。

但是圣诞老人派我来这里是为了给你这些

礼物，本。也许那位女士会帮我

送这些礼物。

[鼓掌]

哇。谢谢。

>> 不客气，本。圣诞快乐

，光明节快乐。

>> 你也来光明节吗？因为我有

部分犹太人的血统。

>> 你是？我也是。

>> 因为犰狳也曾在

沙漠中徘徊。

>> 嘿，猜猜我为你的婚礼准备了什么？

>> 一个超薄的枣子，带有

头的衣架。

>> 不，瑞秋给我穿了一件燕尾服。但

不仅仅是任何礼服。蝙蝠侠的礼服。

>> 没错。专为 Val

Kilmer 制作，并在热门电影

他所出演的蝙蝠侠电影中佩戴过。

你不能穿那个。我穿着

著名的礼服。詹姆斯·邦德的礼服。

>> 所以

>> 所以如果你穿那个，它会让我的

变得不那么特别。

>> 好吧，您需要一些东西来让这个

约会变得特别。你好。你拥有最

特别的东西。您将与

您爱的女人结婚。

>> 请不要拿走我很酷的东西。

请。拜托了。

>> 拜托了。不太呃007。

>> 看，今天是我的婚礼，好吗？如果你

要结婚了，我绝不会做

任何让你不高兴的事情。

>> 我结婚时，你和我的

妹妹睡了。

>> 007 很漂亮。

[音乐]

>> 那是什么？

>> 我认为这是垂死的猫游行。

>> 听起来像是从

街对面传来的。

天哪。

>> 什么？

>> 你知道罗斯

在我们的婚礼上要做的事情吗？昨天他和我一起出去玩

，他转向我

，他说，“你有一半苏格兰血统，

，对吧？”

>> 不，我不可能不是罗斯。

[音乐]

>> 难以置信。

>> 为什么你的家人是苏格兰人？

为什么你的家人是罗斯？

>> 你不能播放我们的婚礼。我的意思是，

每个人都会离开。我的意思是，来吧。

那只是噪音。

这甚至不是一首歌。

如果你仔细听的话，我认为

这是通过给帮派打电话来庆祝。

[音乐]

>> 嗯，我感觉像零食。

>> 你想要一些脆饼吗？就像你一样

苏格兰人。

>> 哦，不用了，谢谢。我不喜欢任何来自我的苏格兰血统的

。

>> 什么？

>> 好吧，只是我全家都被

苏格兰。

维京人赶出了

>> 嗯，在我看来，您的家人

已经准备好重新发现其苏格兰

根源。

>> 婚礼上不能吹风笛。

>> 你是怎么知道的？我们听说

您从

公寓一直在玩。

>> 你是报警的人吗？

>> 现在这并不重要。

>> 重要的是，虽然我们欣赏

的姿态，但我们只是觉得

烟斗包不适合我们的婚礼。

>> 为什么不呢？

>> 因为我们讨厌他们。

>> 只要给我一个机会为您执行

，然后决定您

想要的内容。我也不会告诉你我要播放哪首

歌曲，但是呃

让我们说当它结束时，我敢打赌

会有一点庆祝活动。

[音乐]

请记住，我还在学习。

[音乐]

一、二、三、四。

[掌声]

[音乐]

你知道这首歌。一起唱吧

[音乐]

[掌声]

[音乐]

[掌声]

[音乐]

所以，

>> 不。

>> 得到了一点点油，本应该

只持续一天，但燃烧了

>> 八整天。

>> 没错。这就是我们今天

庆祝光明节的原因。结束。

太棒了。

>> 是的。

>> 我最喜欢的部分是超人将

所有犹太人带出埃及。

犰狳实际上对这部分并不那么

感到兴奋。

好的，本，是时候点燃

光明节蜡烛了。

嘿。哦，哇。看起来像是复活节

兔子的葬礼在这里举行。

>> 来吧。快点。我们正在点燃

蜡烛。快点。

>> 哦，

[音乐]

我明白为什么超人在这里，但是

为什么复活节

兔子的葬礼上有一只豪猪？

大家好，感恩节快乐。

>> 不，不，不，不，不，不。

>> 今年感恩节

我们要保密什么？

>> 不。我们正在玩我在工作中学到的

游戏。您必须在 6 分钟内说出所有状态

。

>> 什么？这太简单了。

>> 不，这比听起来要困难得多。

你总是会忘记至少一个，或者在

某些情况下

14.

>> 这是一场愚蠢的游戏，而且我并没有与其他人玩

，所以从技术上来说我

并没有输。

>> 什么？你忘记了 14 个州。

>> 没有人关心达科他州。

>> 哦，好吧。时间到了。

>> 好吧。我得到了 48。

>> 哦，还不错，宝贝。

>> 哦，我厌倦了命名状态，所以我

决定列出芹菜的类型。

我有一颗普通芹菜。

>> 好的，Rachel 得到了 48，Phoebe 在

领先。乔伊，

蔬菜中

>> 向钱德勒

哑州游戏的新冠军问好。

>> 哇。你有多少？

>> 56。

>> 完成。有空闲时间。

>> 呜。这可能是一个新的世界纪录。

你知道，我不想对你们说教，

但

一群受过良好教育的成年人和乔伊

无法说出所有州的名称，这有点可耻。您是否

见过一张地图或一种名为地球仪的彩色

圆形物体？

>> 呃，梅林，

你有 46 个州。

>> 什么？那是不可能的。

>> 46？好吧，现在谁受过良好的教育，我先生

忘记了 10 个州？

>> 好的，罗斯，时间到了。

>> 不，再给我一分钟。

>> 看，罗斯，如果到

你还不认识他们，你就永远不会认识他们。好吧，

这就是这个游戏的美妙之处。

会让你想自杀。

>> 这太疯狂了。我可以做到这一点。全部

都对。呃，我打赌我能在晚饭前拿到全部 50 个呃

。

>> 好的。但如果你不能，那就不吃晚饭了。

>> 你开始了。

>> 好吧。不要看我的清单，罗斯，

，因为上面有很多你

没有的东西。

>> 我怎么会看不到这个？我是一名大学

教授。我的 SAT 成绩是 1450 分。

>> 1250？

>> 该死，我忘了你在这里。

您需要您的帮助

>>。

>> 好的，请。

>> 首先，犹他州，

老兄。你不能只是编造一些东西。

[音乐]

>> 我讨厌美国。

当我完成这个游戏时，我发誓我会

移动。

[音乐]

好吧，也许这很难，因为

没有 50 个州。

让我告诉你一件事。我有 49

个州，没有更多了。

我想我应该可以吃

的东西。

>> 这取决于你。

特拉华州。

特拉华州。

>> 好吧。

>> 我现在想要我的火鸡。

>> 你明白了。

你两次获得内华达州。

>> 我知道。

>> 是的。

>> 偷看，你呃，你还有时间吗？

>> 当然。

>> 是的。 Ever since you uh told me that

story about that bike, I couldn't stop

thinking about it.我的意思是，每个人

都应该拥有第一辆自行车，你知道吗？所以，

天哪，罗斯。

>> 你喜欢吗？

>> 我喜欢它。

>> 是的。

>>哦。哦，我爱你。

>> 不是那样的。

>> 自行车让您离我们更近了。

>> 哦，好吧。呃，拿下楼吧。你

知道，试驾一下吧。

>> 好的。天哪，我的第一辆自行车。

Thank you for the best present I've ever

gotten.

>> 不客气。

哦，钱德勒快要哭了。

>> 我不是。

>> 好吧，现在只要记住我

教你的一切，你就会没事的。好的，

我们开始吧。准备好了，

组。

>> 等等，这个座位真不舒服。

也许在我们开始之前，我们应该

再买一个。 Perhaps like an

airplane seat or a beanag chair.

宝贝，你无法摆脱这个。 Okay,

you have to learn how to ride a bike.

>> 为什么？为什么我必须学习？

>> 好吧，以防万一。

>> 什么样的紧急情况？

>> 好吧，如果一个男人走过来，用

一把枪指着你的头，并说：“你骑

这辆自行车，否则我就开枪打死你。”

>> 好的。我会按响铃来分散

他的注意力，然后我会用中国投掷的

的枪打掉。

星将他手上

>> 好吧，菲比，只要骑上

自行车，嘿，我会扶住你，

推你。

>> 好吧，

>> 你不会放手的。

>> 不。

>> 你发誓？

>> 我发誓。

>> 好的。

>> 来吧。

>> 好吧。开始了。

>> 好吧。

>> 好的。

>> 好吧。感觉好吗？

>> 好吧，

>> 好吧。尝试踩踏板。就是这样。

你做得很好。你做得很好。

是的。是的。是的。控制住。是的。

>> 哦。哦。哦。

>> 你发誓了。

>> 我只是觉得你做得很好。

>> 震惊。震惊。

>> 这是一种合法的学习技巧。

哇。

哦，你好，骗子。

>> 听着，我真的很抱歉我放开了

自行车。

>> 我可能会被杀。我希望你

知道。

>> 我知道。我知道。

但是我们可以再试一次吗？啊？我

的意思是，你太亲密了，菲比。好吧，我

很想这么做，但是

自行车被偷了，而且警方

没有嫌疑人，

>> 菲比。

>> 什么？

>> 到底是什么？

>> 好的。你知道吗？如果您不

学习如何骑这辆自行车，

那么我很抱歉。我只是要

来收回它。

>> 什么？为什么？因为它是

，就像您拥有这把吉他

，但从未弹过它。好的？这把

吉他想要被弹奏，这辆

自行车想要被骑，如果你

不骑它，你就是你，你正在扼杀

它的精神。

自行车

即将报废。

好吧。如果你足够在意的话，可以编出

一堆废话。好的。

>> 太棒了。伟大的。

>> 你让自行车非常高兴。

>> 好的，罗斯。

>> 请不要死。

>> 我简直不敢相信。我做到了。但我骑了

自行车。我从没想过我能够

做到这一点。谢谢你，罗斯。

>> 哦，嘿，别谢我。谢谢你自己。

你是那个直面恐惧并最终克服恐惧的人。

。

>> 别这么老套，罗斯。这不是

放学后特别节目。

>> 我们为什么在这里？

>> 好的。好的。猜猜看。

>> 辣妹们。

好的。好的。我早些时候在

图书馆计算机中输入名字，你知道，

，你知道，为了好玩，我输入了我的名字，

，呃猜猜发生了什么？我的博士论文

。就在这里。是的。正确的。

就在大学最大的

图书馆里。

>> 啊，这确实很酷。

>> 是的。哦。嗯，这里还有一本书，作者是

一位名叫 Wendy Vagina 的女士。

>> 那是什么？

听起来两个人真的

很享受杜威十进制系统。

>> 非常抱歉。

>> 你带我来这里不是为了做这件事，是

吗？

>> 对不起。你好，我是这里的教授。

你知道古生物学部分吗，第五

层，第437号堆栈？

>> 嗯，是的。给我 5 分钟。我

只需要找人来代替我的

轮班。

>> 不，不，不。

>> 我可以和负责人通话吗，

？

>> 我能为您提供什么帮助？

>> 您好，我想知道，是否可以

提高古生物学

部分的安全性？看，我写了一本书，上面

，人们

并没有读它，而是很好，他们在

前面打滚。

我们知道您

提到的问题。

>> 但就提高安全性而言，我

担心图书馆人手严重不足。

我帮不了你。

>> 好吧，好吧。美好的。如果我是唯一一个

欣赏文字的

神圣性的人，那么我会

亲自去那里捍卫它。

别跟着我。

[音乐]

是的。是的。我怎么帮你？

>> 我们只是四处看看。

>>哦。哦，你们是你们的学者同学。

您到底在寻找什么？ H

也许呃也许切斯特博士储存了

对 Smileadin Californicus 的思考。

啊，

>> 离开这里。

通过与某人会面，或者您只是

来这里温习玛丽雅姆对

进化论的看法？

>> 嗯，实际上，我发现 Miam 的观点

过于进步主义。

>> 我发现 Miriam 的观点太过

进步主义。

对不起。你是谁？

>> 我是这里的教授。呃罗斯盖勒。

>> 罗斯·盖勒？为什么我知道这个名字？

稍等一下，

这是你写的吗？

>> 是的。

您是查看我的

本书的人。

你知道吗，你看起来一点也不像我

想过。你你还这么年轻啊。

>> 好吧，我呃，我跳过了四年级。

>> 我非常

非常抱歉。

[音乐]

[英语]

Hello.

Hi. Is uh Phoebe here?

>> Uh no, no, she's she's out for the

night.

>> Oh, great.

>> Can I can I help you with something?

>> Oh, I don't know. Are you a mour?

>> Yes, I am.

>> All right,

Dad.

Thank you so much. I'll be back to pick

him up in an hour.

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Music]

Okay,

now I'm going to

touch you.

>> Oh, that's soft.

[Music]

[Laughter]

Hey, what are you guys What are you guys

talking about?

>> Nothing.

>> Yeah.

>> Damn, this coffee is cold. Hey, Ra, do

you mind if I heat this up on your

loins?

>> You know, I cannot believe you told him,

Joey.

So, I guess you bought that book after

we broke up, huh?

>> Uh-huh. Yeah, I did because I wore out

my first copy when I was with you.

>> Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, uh, when we were

going out, I read tons of porno

magazines.

What's up,

>> boss? How could you do that to an old

man?

>> Excuse me, ladies.

coming.

>> I have a bone to pick with you.

>> Uh-oh.

>> Yes. Ben learned a little trick.

>> Oh, yeah. Did he pull?

>> That's right. That's right.

Saran wrap on the toilet seat. So the P

goes everywhere.

>> Oh, that.

>> Yeah, that. You know, I hate practical

jokes. They're mean and they're stupid

and and I don't want my son learning

them.

>> Oh, come on. Saran wrap on the toilet

seat. You don't think that's just a

little funny?

>> I was barefoot.

>> Now tell me, the toilet thing is the

only thing you taught him, right?

Yes.

>> Kind of glad they're leaving cuz uh I

need to talk to you about something.

>> What's up?

>> Well, this uh this may be a little

awkward.

>> Listen, if you want to borrow money,

it's kind of a bad time. I'm buying

dinner for 128 people tomorrow night.

>> It's it's not that. Um now, what I'm

going to say to you, I'm I'm not saying

as your friend, okay? I'm I'm saying it

as Monica's older brother.

>> But you're still my friend.

>> Not for the next few minutes.

During this time, are you are you still

my best man?

>> Nope.

>> Do I still call you Ross?

>> Okay.

>> You guys are getting married tomorrow.

And and I couldn't be more thrilled for

both of you. But as Monica's older

brother, I I have to tell you this.

If you ever hurt my little sister,

if you ever cause her any unhappiness of

any kind, I will hunt you down

and kick your ass.

>> What? I'm I'm I'm serious.

>> Okay, dude. Stop it. Okay. I'm I'm not

kidding here.

>> Hey, I hear what you're saying. Okay.

And thanks for the warning.

>> No problem.

>> So, are we friends again?

>> Yeah.

>> Okay.

You won't believe what Monica's older

brother just said to me.

>> Joey, um, you look familiar. Are, uh,

are you on TV or something?

>> Well, Joey doesn't like to talk about

it, but he's one of the stars of Days of

Our Lives.

That's right. That's right. Don't you

play a woman.

>> A woman in a man's body.

Much better.

So, you know, Ross, it's funny cuz you

look familiar to me, too. Have you ever

been married?

>> Well, yes. Yes, I have. In fact, um,

just the other day, Chris and I were

talking about how I've been married and

how I have a son.

>> Yeah, little Eric.

>> That's right. Wait, no, Ben.

>> So, you just been married the one time

then?

>> Well, um,

>> you've been married twice.

>> Yes.

And

another time after that.

Boy, I'm getting hungry.

Uh, hey Joey, have you ever been so

hungry on a date that when the girl goes

to the bathroom, you eat some of her

food?

>> You said the waiter ate my crab cake.

>> Yeah. So, uh, Ross, now why did that

first marriage break up? Hm.

Was it because the woman was straight or

because she was a lesbian?

>> Do you two know each other?

>> No. No. No. No. Just seems like Ross is

the kind of guy who would marry a woman

on the verge of being a lesbian and then

push her over the edge.

>> I needed that car for transportation.

Okay. I I have a child.

>> How hot do I look in this? Huh?

>> Ross a sports car. Wouldn't it have been

cheaper to just stuff a sock down there?

>> That's not what this is about. Okay. I I

am a sports car enthusiast. I've always

been into cars.

>> Hey, what's the horsepower on this

thing?

>> I don't know, but but look how shiny.

>> I can't believe you bought this. So, can

I have a ride, Steph?

>> Hop in.

>> Get ready for the smoothest ride of your

life.

Damn it.

>> Okay, WHO'S NEXT?

[Music]

WOOHOO!

>> Die Hard still great.

>> Yeah.

>> Hey, what do you say we make it a double

feature?

>> What else you in?

>> Die Hard 2.

>> Joey, this is Die Hard one again.

>> Well, we watch it a second time and it's

Die Hard 2.

>> Joey, we just saw it and

>> and it would be cool to see it again.

Yeah. Die hard.

>> Dude, you didn't say die hard.

>> Is everything okay?

>> Yeah, I just got I got plans.

>> Well, John Mlan had plans.

>> No, you see the thing is I want to get

out of here before Joey gets all worked

up and starts calling everybody

>> What are you talking about,

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

What happened?

>> I don't know. Fell asleep. That is all.

>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

All right. Well, uh, I better go.

>> Yeah, I think that would be best. So,

>> all right. I'll talk to you later.

>> Okay. But not about this.

>> No, never.

>> Never.

>> So, uh, uh,

>> bye.

>> No touch. No touch.

[Music]

>> Hey, just uh brought back your videos.

>> Uh, hey uh, Ross, look. Uh, I think we

need to talk about before.

>> No, no, we don't.

>> Yes, we do. Now, look, that was the best

nap I ever had.

>> I I don't know what you're talking

about.

Come on, admit it. That was the best nap

you ever had.

>> I've had better.

Okay. When?

>> ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. IT WAS THE BEST

NAP EVER. I SAID IT. OKAY. BUT IT'S

OVER, JOEY.

>> I want to do it again.

>> We can't do it again.

>> Why not?

>> Because it's weird.

>> Fine.

You want something to drink?

>> Sure. What do you got? warm milk and

etm.

[Applause]

>> Boy, I'll tell you that judging stuff

took a lot out of me.

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah. Think about maybe going upstairs

and taking a little nap on my couch.

>> Why Why would I care about that?

>> No reason. I'm just saying that uh

that's where I'll be

[Applause]

[Music]

Great nap.

>> It really was.

[Applause]

Dude, what the hell are you doing?

>> Excuse me.

And it was Erns Mulgrad who first

hypothesized that the Velociraptor, when

threatened, would expand its collar and

emit a high-pitched noise to frighten

off its predator. Yes, Mr. Lewis.

>> What kind of noise?

>> Just a high-pitched intimidating noise.

>> But like how?

Well, we we don't know for sure,

but in my head, it it sounded something

like this. Uh,

[Laughter]

>> of course, this is just conjecture.

>> Celebrating my

I'm sorry. Apparently, I've opened the

door to the past.

[Music]

>> Okay. Uh, Monica. Man. Okay. What? What

you just saw?

>> Can I ask you just a little question?

Why tonight?

>> What? See, I've been waiting my whole

life to be engaged. And unlike some

people, I only planning on doing this

once.

So, you know, maybe this is selfish and

I'm sorry about it, but I I was kind of

hoping tonight could just be about that.

>> Oh, honey, but it is. No, it's not. No,

no, now it's about you and Ross getting

back together.

>> What?

>> Yeah. Um, you kind of stole my thunder.

>> Okay. Ho ho. We did not steal your

thunder because we are not getting back

together.

>> Yeah. No. And and and you know what?

Nobody even saw.

>> Yeah,

>> that's true.

>> I swear we just kissed.

>> It was just a kiss.

>> YOU GUYS KISSED?

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?

>> ARE YOU ARE YOU GETTING BACK TOGETHER?

CAN I sing at your wedding?

>> Thunder being stolen.

>> Okay, come on, baby. It's nothing.

Monica, come on. Let's not make a big

deal out of this.

>> It was a onetime thing.

>> It doesn't even matter.

>> Oh my god.

>> I cannot believe you guys are talking

about this. The problems in the bedroom

are between A MAN AND A WOMAN.

All right. Now, CHANDLER IS DOING THE

BEST HE CAN.

>> Wedding is so close. Are you getting

nervous?

>> Yeah, but a part of me also can't wait

till it's over.

>> Chandler and I have this pack not to

have sex again until the wedding.

>> A no sex pact, huh?

I actually have one of those going on

with every woman in America.

>> Hey, Vivie, will you give me a hand? Got

to make up the guest bedroom. Hey,

cousin Cassie's coming to stay with us

for a few days. Cassie.

>> I haven't seen her in like forever. I

wonder if she still carries that Barbie

everywhere she goes.

>> Ra, she's 25 years old.

>> So what? I still No, you're probably

right.

>> And that should conclusively prove that

I had the idea for Jurassic Park first.

Let's take a look at this.

>> Phoei. Oh my god. What are you doing

here?

>> I need to talk to you. It's pretty

urgent. It's about Monica and Chandler.

>> Oh my god. Um, of course. Uh, would you

please excuse me for a moment? Um, do

you know each other's hometowns? Why

don't you

What's going on?

>> Well, um, not much, but I was just

thinking that since those guys just got

engaged that maybe it'd be nice if they

had some privacy, you know? So, could I

just move in with you for a couple days?

>> Um, okay. Yeah, sure. But what what's

wrong with Monica and Chandler?

>> Nothing. Why,

>> Phoebe? You said it was urgent.

>> Oh, yeah, it is. I'm going to the movies

and it starts in like five minutes.

>> Do you realize I have a classroom full

of students?

>> Oh, I'm sorry. I'm so rude. Does anyone

want to come to the movies?

>> Chandler just left, though.

>> Yeah, but maybe it's not what we think.

Maybe it's Tell Monica I'm sorry. I

drank the last of the milk. Or maybe he

he was writing to tell her that that

he's changed his name. You know, tell

Monica I'm sorry.

>> I think it means he freaked out and

left.

>> Don't be so negative.

Good God. Isn't it possible that Sorry

is sitting in there right now?

>> Okay, Phoebe. I I think Ross is right. I

What are we going to do?

>> Look. Okay, I'm just going to I'm going

to have to go find him and bring him

back. Okay, you you make sure Monica

does not find out. Okay.

>> Okay, but if you don't find him and

bring him back, I'm going to hunt you

down and kick your ass.

>> I will I will find him.

>> So, I just talked to one of the duel

writers today. And

>> what is Duel?

>> Days of Our Lives.

>> Anyway, you're not going to believe it.

My character is coming out of his coma.

>> And and and not only that, I'm getting a

new brain.

>> So, great things are happening at work

and in your personal life.

>> Wait, what do you mean you're getting a

new brain?

>> Oh, well, they're killing off one of the

characters on the show, and when she

dies, her brain is being transplanted

into my body.

>> What? A brain transplant? It's

ridiculous. Oh, I think it's ridiculous

that you haven't had sex in three and a

half months.

>> It's winter. There are fewer people on

the street.

>> Who are they killing off?

>> Uh Cecilia Monroe. She plays Jessica

Lockhart.

>> NO. NO.

>> SHE is so good at throwing drinks in

people's faces. I mean, I don't think

I've ever seen her finish a beverage.

>> And the way she slaps people all the

time. Would you love to do that? Yes.

Once.

>> Oh, do it.

>> Aunt, she's been on the show forever.

It's going to be really hard to fill her

shoes.

>> Yeah. Yeah. Help me out here. When you

when you come out of the brain

transplant,

you are going to be her.

>> Yes, but in Drake Reese's body.

>> Why is this so hard for you to get? I

thought you were a scientist.

>> Some stranger is going to be living in

my room. Well, after 15 years of mom and

dad keeping it as a shrine to you, it's

time the velvet ropes came down.

>> I kept your room for a while. Oh,

>> please. Dad turned my room into a gym 20

minutes after I moved out. I got to say,

a tanning bed and a stack of Victoria's

Secret cataloges. Not a gym.

>> Come on. You know they love you

>> as much as they love you.

>> I was their first born. They thought she

was barren. It's not my fault.

Look, all my stuff is safe and dry, and

all her stuff is is growing new stuff.

See, this is exactly the kind of thing

that makes her think you guys love me

more than you love her.

>> Oh my god. Does she really think that?

>> Well, can you blame her?

>> I don't know. I I I suppose we may have

favored you unconsciously. You were a

medical marvel. The doctor said your

mother could.

>> Dad, I don't want to hear about it.

>> Really?

>> Well, not right now.

Yes, sir.

>> Mr. Morris, I need to talk to you about

your midterm exam.

I'm afraid I I had to fail you.

>> Why?

>> Well, you need 60% to pass.

>> What'd I get?

>> Seven.

>> That's not so good.

>> No, no, it's not. What? What happened

there, Ned?

>> Well, maybe you can cut me some slack.

I'm sort of in love.

Well,

>> I'm sorry, but that that's really not my

problem.

>> I'm in love with you.

>> Well, that brings me in the loop a

little.

See, that's why I did so bad on this

test. I'm having a hard time

concentrating when you're up there and

you're teaching and your face gets all

serious.

It looks so good.

You wear that tight little turtleneck

sweater.

>> Okay.

Um, I uh I'm your teacher. I'm sorry.

You're you're a student and I and I like

women in spite of what may be written on

the backs of some of these chairs.

>> Hello, sir. You here to return those

pants?

>> No, these are my pants.

Oh, okay.

How can I help you?

>> Well, um, do you have a Santa outfit

left

>> 2 days before Christmas? Sorry, man.

>> Okay, look, do do you have anything uh

Christmy? I promised my son, and I I

really don't want to disappoint him. Um,

come on. I You got to have something.

I'm the holiday armadillo.

I'm a friend of Santa's and he sent me

here to wish you a merry Christmas.

>> What happened to Santa? Holiday

armadillo.

>> Santa was unavailable. So close to

Christmas.

>> Oh, come in. Have a seat. You must be

exhausted coming all the way from Texas.

Texas.

>> That's right, Ben. I'm Santa's

representative for all the southern

states

and Mexico.

But Santa sent me here to give you these

presents, Ben. Maybe the lady will help

me with these presents.

[Applause]

Wow. Thanks.

>> You're welcome, Ben. Merry Christmas

and happy Hanukkah.

>> Are you for Hanukkah, too? Because I'm

part Jewish.

>> You are? Me, too.

>> Because armadillos also wandered in the

desert.

>> Hey, guess what I got for your wedding?

>> A freakishly thin date with a hanger for

a head.

>> No, Rachel hooked me up with a tux. But

not just any tux. Batman's tux.

>> That's right. Made expressly for Val

Kilmer and worn by him in the hit film,

that Batman film he was in.

You can't wear that. I'm wearing the

famous tux. James Bond's tux.

>> So

>> So if you wear that, it'll make mine

less special.

>> Well, you need something to make this

date special. Hello. You had the most

special thing of all. You are marrying

the woman you love.

>> Please don't take away my cool thing.

Please. Pretty please.

>> Pretty please. Not very uh 007.

>> Look, it's my wedding day, okay? If you

were getting married, I would never do

anything to upset you.

>> When I got married, you slept with my

sister.

>> That was pretty 007.

[Music]

>> What is that?

>> I think it's the dying cat parade.

>> Sounds like it's coming from across the

street.

Oh my god.

>> What?

>> You know that thing that Ross was going

to do at our wedding? He was hanging out

with me yesterday and he turned to me

and he said, "You're half Scottish,

right?"

>> No, there is no way I'm not Ross.

[Music]

>> Unbelievable.

>> Why is your family Scottish?

Why is your family Ross?

>> You cannot play our wedding. I mean,

everyone will leave. I mean, come on.

That is just noise.

It's not even a song.

If you listen very carefully, I think

it's celebration by calling the gang.

[Music]

>> Well, I feel like a snack.

>> Do you want some shortbread? It's

Scottish like you are.

>> Oh, no thanks. I don't like anything

from my Scottish heritage.

>> What?

>> Well, just my entire family was run out

of Scotland by

Vikings.

>> Well, it sounds to me like your family

is ready to uh rediscover its Scottish

roots.

>> You can't play bag pipes at the wedding.

>> How did you know about that? We heard

you play all the way from your

apartment.

>> Were you the ones who called the cops?

>> That's not really important right now.

>> What is important is while we appreciate

the gesture, we just don't feel that bag

pipes are appropriate for our wedding.

>> Why not?

>> Because we hate them.

>> Just just give me a chance to perform

for you and then decide whatever you

want. And I'm not going to tell you what

song I'm going to play either, but uh

let's just say when it's over, I'll bet

there'll be a wee bit of celebration.

[Music]

Remember, I'm I'm still learning.

[Music]

One, two, three, four.

[Applause]

[Music]

You know the song. Sing along.

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

So,

>> no.

>> Got that little bit of oil that should

have lasted just one day burned for

>> eight whole days.

>> That's right. And that's why we

celebrate Hanukkah today. The end.

Awesome.

>> Yeah.

>> My favorite part was when Superman flew

all the Jews out of Egypt.

The armadillo was actually not so

thrilled about that part.

Okay, Ben, it's time to light the

Hanukkah candles.

Hey. Oh, wow. Looks like the Easter

Bunny's funeral in here.

>> Come on. Come on. We're We're lighting

the candles. Come on.

>> Oh,

[Music]

I understand why Superman is here, but

why is there a porcupine at the Easter

Bunny's funeral?

Hey everybody, happy Thanksgiving.

>> No, no, no, no, no, no.

>> What are we keeping Thanksgiving a

secret this year?

>> No. We are playing this game I learned

at work. You have to name all the states

in 6 minutes.

>> What? That's like insanely easy.

>> No, it's a lot harder than it sounds.

You always forget at least one or in

some cases

14.

>> It's a stupid game and I wasn't playing

against other people, so technically I

didn't lose.

>> What? You forgot 14 states.

>> Nobody cares about the Dakotas.

>> Oh, okay. Time's up.

>> All right. I got 48.

>> Oh, it's not bad, babe.

>> Oh, I got tired of naming states, so I

decided to list the types of celery.

And I have one regular celery.

>> Okay, so Rachel's got 48 and Phoebe has

the lead in

vegetables. Joey,

>> say hello to the new champ of Chandler's

dumb states game.

>> Wow. How many you got?

>> 56.

>> Done. With time to spare.

>> Woo. This may be a new world's record.

You know, I hate to lecture you guys,

but it's kind of disgraceful that a

group of well-educated adults and Joey

can't name all the states. Do you ever

see a map or one of those round colorful

things called a globe?

>> Uh, Mellin,

you got 46 states.

>> What? That's impossible.

>> 46? Well, who's well educated now, Mr. I

forgot 10 states?

>> Okay, Ross, time is up.

>> No, just give me another minute.

>> Look, Ross, if you don't know them by

now, you will never know them. Okay,

that is the beauty of this game. It

makes you want to kill yourself.

>> This This is crazy. I can do this. All

right. Uh I bet I can get all 50 uh

before dinner.

>> Okay. But if you can't, no dinner.

>> You're on.

>> All right. Don't look at my list, Ross,

cuz there's a lot on there that you

don't have.

>> How can I not get this? I'm a college

professor. I got 1450 on my SATs.

>> 1250?

>> Damn, I forgot you were here.

You need some help

>> from you.

>> Yes, please.

>> First of all, Utah,

dude. You can't just make stuff up.

[Music]

>> I hate America.

When I finish this game, I swear I am

moving.

[Music]

Okay, maybe this is so hard because

there aren't 50 states.

Let me tell you something. I have 49

states and there are no more.

I I think I should be able to eat

something.

>> It's up to you.

Delaware.

Delaware.

>> All right.

>> I want my turkey now.

>> You got it.

You got Nevada twice.

>> I know.

>> Yes.

>> Peeps, you uh you got a second?

>> Sure.

>> Yeah. Ever since you uh told me that

story about that bike, I couldn't stop

thinking about it. I mean, everyone

should have a first bike, you know? So,

Oh my god, Ross.

>> You like it?

>> I love it.

>> Yeah.

>> Oh. Oh, and I love you.

>> Not that way.

>> The bike got you a lot closer.

>> Oh, well. Uh, take it downstairs. You

know, give it a test drive.

>> Okay. Oh my god, my first bike.

Thank you for the best present I've ever

gotten.

>> You're welcome.

Oh, and Chandler's about to cry.

>> I'm not.

>> Okay, now just remember everything I

taught you and you'll be fine. Okay,

here we go. Ready,

set.

>> Wait, this seat is really uncomfortable.

Maybe before we start, we should just

get another one. Perhaps like an

airplane seat or a beanag chair.

Baby, you can't get out of this. Okay,

you have to learn how to ride a bike.

>> Why? Why do I have to learn?

>> Well, in in case of an emergency.

>> What kind of emergency?

>> Well, what if a man comes along and puts

a gun to your head and says, "You ride

this bike or I'll I'll shoot you."

>> Okay. I would ring the bell to distract

him and then I would knock the gun out

of his hand with a Chinese throwing

star.

>> Okay, Phoebe, just just get get on the

bike and hey, I'll hold you up and and

push you.

>> Okay,

>> you won't let go.

>> No.

>> You swear?

>> I swear.

>> Okay.

>> Come on.

>> All right. Here we go.

>> All right.

>> All right.

>> All right. Feel good?

>> Well,

>> all right. Try pedaling. That's it.

You're doing great. You're doing great.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Take control. Yes.

>> OH. OH. OH.

>> You swore.

>> I I just thought you were doing so well.

>> Shocked. Shocked.

>> It's a legitimate learning technique.

Wow.

Oh, hello liar.

>> Look, I I'm I'm really sorry I let go of

the bike.

>> I could have been killed. I hope you

know.

>> I know. I know.

But can we please try it again? Huh? I

mean, you were so close, Phoebe. Well, I

would love to, but

the bike got stolen and the police have

no suspects,

>> Phoebe.

>> What?

>> What the hell?

>> All right. You know what? If you are not

going to learn how to ride this bike,

then I'm sorry. I'm just going to have

to take it back.

>> What? Why? Because because it's it's

it would be like you having this guitar

and and never playing it. Okay? This

guitar wants to be played and and this

bike wants to be ridden and and if you

don't ride it, you're you you're killing

its spirit.

The bike

is dying.

All right. If you care enough to make up

that load of crap. Okay.

>> Great. Great.

>> You're making the bike very happy.

>> Okay, Ross.

>> Please don't die.

>> I can't believe it. I did it. But I rode

a bike. I never thought I'd be able to

do that. Thank you, Ross.

>> Oh, hey, don't thank me. Thank yourself.

You're the one who faced your fears and

ultimately overcame them.

>> Don't be so corny, Ross. It's not an

after school special.

>> Why are we here?

>> Okay. Okay. Take a guess.

>> The hot chicks.

Okay. Okay. I was uh typing names into

the library computer earlier, you know,

you know, for fun, and I typed mine in,

and uh guess what came up? My doctoral

dissertation. It's here. Yeah. Right.

It's right down here in the biggest

library in the university.

>> Ah, that's actually pretty cool.

>> Yeah. Oh. Um there's also a book here by

a woman named Wendy Vagina.

>> What is that?

Sounds like two people are really

enjoying the Dewey decimal system.

>> I'm so sorry.

>> You didn't bring me here to do that, did

you?

>> Excuse me. Hi, I'm a professor here. Do

you know the paleontology section, fifth

floor, stack 437?

>> Well, yes. Just give me 5 minutes. I

just have to find someone to cover my

shift.

>> No, no, no.

>> Can I speak to someone in charge,

please?

>> How can I help you?

>> Hi, I was wondering, is it possible to

increase security in the paleontology

section? See, I I wrote a book that's up

there, and instead of reading it, people

are are well, they're rolling around in

front of it.

We are aware of the problem you're

referring to.

>> But as far as increasing security, I'm

afraid the library is very understaffed.

I I can't help you.

>> Well, fine. Fine. If if I'm the only

person with any appreciation of the

sanctity of the written word, then I'll

go up there and defend it myself.

And don't you follow me.

[Music]

Yes. Yes. How can I help you?

>> We we were just looking around.

>> Oh. Oh, you're your fellow scholars.

What exactly were you looking for? H

perhaps uh perhaps Dr. Chester stocks

musings on the Smileadin Californicus.

Ah,

>> get out of here.

by meeting someone or or are you just

here to brush up on Mariam's views on

evolution?

>> Um, actually, I find Miam's views far

too progressionist.

>> I find Miriam's views far too

progressionist.

I'm sorry. Who are you?

>> I'm a professor here. Uh Ross Geller.

>> Ross Geller? Why do I know that name?

It's a Wait,

did you write this?

>> Yes.

You're the person who checked out my

book.

You know, you look nothing like I would

have thought. You're you're so young.

>> Well, I uh I skipped fourth grade.

>> I am very

very sorry.

[Music]

重点词汇

词汇	含义
awkward /ˈɔːkwəd/ B2	adjective - 尴尬的
transplant /ˈtrænsˌplænt/ C1	noun - 移植 verb - 移植（する）
velociraptor /vəˈlɒsɪˌræptər/ C1	noun - 迅猛龙
conjecture /kənˈdʒɛktʃər/ C1	noun - 猜测 verb - 猜测（…）
engaged /ɪnˈɡeɪdʒd/ B1	adjective - 已订婚的 verb - 使全神贯注
sanctity /ˈsæŋktɪti/ C1	noun - 神圣性
paleontology /ˌpeɪliɒnˈtɒlədʒi/ C1	noun - 古生物学
predator /ˈprɛdətər/ B2	noun - 捕食者
thrilled /θrɪld/ B2	adjective - 兴奋的
intimidating /ɪnˈtɪmɪdeɪtɪŋ/ C1	adjective - 令人恐惧的
hunting /ˈhʌntɪŋ/ B1	noun - 狩猎 verb - 猎捕
gesture /ˈdʒɛstʃər/ B2	noun - 手势
celebrate /ˈsɛləˌbreɪt/ B1	verb - 庆祝
armadillo /ˌɑːrməˈdɪloʊ/ B2	noun - 犰狳
marriage /ˈmærɪdʒ/ B1	noun - 婚姻
brother /ˈbrʌðər/ A2	noun - 兄弟

重点语法结构

• If you ever hurt my little sister, if you ever cause her any unhappiness of any kind, I will hunt you down and kick your ass.

  ➔ 第一类条件句 (if + 一般现在时, will + 动词原形)

  ➔ 该句使用第一类条件句："if" + 一般现在时，后接表示将来的助动词 "will"。

• I’m buying dinner for 128 people tomorrow night.

  ➔ 现在进行时表示将来的计划行为

  ➔ "am buying" 为现在进行时，表示对近期的确定计划。

• I have a bone to pick with you.

  ➔ 使用 'have + 名词' 的习语，表示不满

  ➔ 短语 "have a bone to pick" 通过 "have" + 名词短语表示 "有不满"。

• I don’t know what you’re talking about.

  ➔ 否定动词 + 间接疑问句

  ➔ "don’t know what …" 引入间接疑问句，"what you're talking about" 是 "know" 的宾语。

• We’ve been married twice.

  ➔ 现在完成进行时：have/has + been + 过去分词

  ➔ "We’ve been married" 使用现在完成进行时，表示一个从过去开始并持续到现在的状态。

• Wouldn’t it have been cheaper to just stuff a sock down there?

  ➔ 情态动词完成式（would have + 过去分词）用于假设过去的情形

  ➔ "Wouldn’t it have been" 属于情态动词完成式，表达一种假设的或不真实的过去情形。

• I’m not kidding here.

  ➔ 现在进行时用于描述当前状态，而非正在进行的动作

  ➔ "am not kidding" 使用现在进行时来说明当前的状态，而不是正在进行的动作。

• You won’t believe what Monica’s older brother just said to me.

  ➔ 否定的将来时 (won’t) + 宾语从句

  ➔ 句子以 "won’t"（否定将来时）开头，表示后面的内容让人难以相信。

• I have to talk to you.

  ➔ 情态动词 “have to” 表示义务

  ➔ "have to" 像情态动词一样，表示说话者必须 “talk”。