– 英语/中文 双语歌词

歌词与翻译

[中文]

Translator: Queenie Lee Reviewer: Ivana Korom

让我问你一个问题。

你有没有遇到过这样的情况，

你会问自己——这个问题：

这个人，这个人——是在调戏我吗？

想象一下这个场景：你在朋友的聚会上。

你大摇大摆地走进厨房，

因为我们都知道——那里才是乐趣所在。

你看到一个有吸引力的陌生人

正在从一箱葡萄酒里续酒。

你的朋友是个学生。

于是你也去续酒，

你对那个有吸引力的陌生人说了一句非常有趣的话。

那个有吸引力的人笑了。

太棒了。

然后接下来的几分钟里，

你们进行了一些眼神交流，更多的交谈。

但几分钟后，

你开始思考，——“这个人是在调戏我吗？”

有没有人觉得很熟悉？

看看你旁边的人，——他们也经历过。

看看你前面的人，——他们也经历过。

这是一种普遍的困惑。

但现在不用再困惑了！

因为在接下来的十分钟里，

我会告诉你——调情的信号，

以后你再也不会疑惑：——“这个人是在调戏我吗？”

我是Jean Smith。

我是一名社会人类学家——研究调情的人，

如果你愿意，可以叫我“调情学家”。

作为一名调情学家，我进行研究，——写书，做演讲。

我为私人和企业客户服务，

所有这些都是为了帮助人们——成为更好的调情者。

所以，我看到有些人——坐在那里，在想，

“真的吗？这有必要吗？——教别人如何调情？”

是的。

(笑声)

是的，这是必要的。

我已经做这件事十多年了。

如果“这个人是在调戏我吗”——这个问题以前很流行，

现在就好像大家都要——去参加舞会一样流行。

因为在过去的十年里，

because over the last decade

我们调情的方式——发生了巨大的变化。

人们越来越依赖——数字方式进行交流。

但说实话，

一个吐着舌头的表情符号，

能让你走不了多远。

总有一天，你还是要——在现实生活中见面。

除非你是个日本男人，

那样的话，你就可以娶——你的游戏女友：Rinko。

所以，作为我帮助人们——成为更好调情者这一目标的一部分，

我进行了研究。

我去了伦敦、纽约、巴黎和斯德哥尔摩，

研究了这些城市居民的——调情行为。

我发现他们都有六个共同点。

六种可以表达——他们正在调情的方式，

以及理解别人——在调情时的信号。

我称之为

H.O.T.-A.P.E.

(笑声)

这是六个信号——一个首字母缩写词，代表着调情的六个信号。

如果我问你：“你一定是张罚单，

因为你身上写着‘优秀’——这个词。”

你会笑吗？

好吧，“H”代表幽默。

举起你的手——如果你觉得我的笑话很好笑。

来吧，别害羞。

好的，所有举手的人，

我一定会约会你们。

(笑声)

当然，如果我的丈夫——不是一个控制狂。

但无论如何，如果你——没有举手，

那就不是一个好的搭配。

我们之间就是不合适。

但错不在你。

但这是好事，

因为HOTAPE别人——

需要时间。

有没有人喜欢读一本好小说，

看一个有趣的TED演讲？

有没有人喜欢板球比赛？

这些事情也需要时间，——尤其是板球比赛，要持续五天？

这就是人们经常——搞错的地方，

因为他们想吸引所有人。

但不是的，你只想——吸引那些与你匹配的人。

这就是为什么幽默，

And that's why humour,

特别是共同的幽默感，

对于帮助你区分——你的潜在HOT-APE和松鼠猴非常重要。

between your potential HOT-APEs and squirrel monkeys.

我的意思是，是的，它们很可爱。

我确定它们也有很棒的个性。

但归根结底——它只是一只松鼠猴。

它不是HOT-APE。

所以，“O”代表开放的肢体语言。

记住三件事。

第一，不要这样做。

我知道你们有些人有罪。

我听过太多了，

哦，但我冷，或者，这样很舒服。

好吧，抛开抱怨不谈，在什么情况下，

你更想吸引我？

像这样？

还是像这样，对吧？

不是HOT-APE。

HOT-APE。

第二：确保你的肩膀——朝向对方。

不是HOT-APE，

不是HOT-APE，仍然不是HOT-APE。

HOT-APE。

不是HOT-APE。

HOT-APE。

现在，第三，——这是最重要的，

我只告诉你们男生。

这是一个非常好的技巧。

要知道某人是否感兴趣，

看看他们的脚——指向的方向。

如果他们的脚——指向你，这是一个好兆头。

如果他们的脚有点——朝向旁边，

这意味着他们正在计划——他们的逃生路线。

我们的肢体离大脑越远，

我们就越难控制它们。

所以，Shakira，我知道你说：——臀部不会撒谎，

但调情学家在这里——要说脚不会撒谎。

“T”代表触碰。

就像幽默一样，触碰也会——对我们的身体产生积极的生理反应。

一般来说，肩膀——是一个安全的触碰地点。

但当你沿着手臂——走向手时，

触碰会变得更亲密。

因此，我建议每个人——轻轻拍一下对方的手，

然后说类似的话：

“哦，你真有趣”，

人们似乎很喜欢这样。

哦，另一个地方——会很好触摸，

就在这里，

在肩胛骨之间——也许当你走过时，可以轻轻触碰一下。

在所有调情信号中，

人们似乎最担心——使用触碰。

people seem to be wariest about using touch.

正如我的一个客户所说，

“好吧，其他信号——你可以逃脱。

但说到触碰，——你就是有罪的。”

但触碰可以让你——摆脱朋友区，

并且可以向对方表明——你感兴趣。

只要记住，

我喜欢板球比赛，

它持续五天，

我没有时间——和每个人HOT-APE，

那么如果对方——没有积极回应，

你可以尝试其他人。

“A”代表关注。

这可能显而易见。

对方对你的关注越多，——他们就越喜欢你。

但问题是——一旦你进入互动，

就很难保持客观。

这就是为什么在人类学中，——我们有一种方法，

它被称为参与式观察。

我认为这对你来说——可能是一个非常有用的工具，用于调情。

这意味着你参与其中，——你在互动中，

但你没有完全沉浸其中——以至于无法观察。

所以，如果你，例如，

触碰并说了一些话——看到对方脸红，

这意味着你不是那么害羞，

以至于无法观察——你对对方产生的影响。

而我的朋友们——这就是调情变得真正有趣的时候。

“P”代表亲近感。

现在亲近感有两种用法。

第一，如果你看到有人——在房间的另一边，

然后突然——他们就在你身边，

这并不是巧合。

这意味着他们喜欢你所看到的——并且必须进一步探索。

亲近感的另一种用法是，

当你实际——在互动时，

他们站得比平时更近。

如果你被吸引，太好了。

如果你不被吸引，他们侵犯了你的空间。

所以，调情的最后一个信号——是最重要的。

有人能猜到是什么吗？

谢谢。

是眼神交流。

这是人们理解——某人是否在调情的最主要方式，

以及区分友谊和调情的关键。

and the difference between friendly and flirting.

在调情中，眼神交流——发生的频率更高，

持续的时间更长，

并且更加强烈。

使用这些信号：

幽默、开放的肢体语言、触碰、——关注、亲近感、眼神交流，

你可以识别——当某人正在调情时。

一般来说，——信号越多越好。

现在我最喜欢的故事——是关于HOT-APE在实地被使用的情况，

我的一个客户告诉我。

她和她的朋友们分享了HOT-APE。

一个晚上，他们出去——HOTAPE男生。

她的一个朋友正在——与酒吧里的一个男生进行眼神交流，

她走过去和他说话。

几分钟后，她回来了，

有点沮丧，我的客户说，

“发生了什么事？发生了什么事？”——她说，“哦，没什么。”

“好吧，你HOTAPE他了吗？”——她说，“是的，是的。”

然后他们开始——逐一检查信号：

“你用幽默了吗？”——她说“是的，是的。”

“开放的肢体语言呢？——你没有像平时那样做。”

“不，不。”

“触碰呢？——你触碰他了吗？背部，手。”

“哦，天哪，我没有触碰他。”

然后他们开始大笑，——就像，“好吧，难怪。”

原本可能——令人沮丧的情况，

或者，你知道，感觉不好，

变成了一个有趣的游戏。

这就是HOTAPE的力量，

因为它把调情变成——它应该的样子。

这是一种有趣、简单、——不重要的事情。

当我们以这种方式——看待调情时，

它会彻底改变——我们对被拒绝的看法。

在那些我们经常——感到害羞或紧张的情况下，

我们有科学工具——来帮助我们记住该怎么做。

最后，

这不关乎我们，

这是一个清单；这是一项任务。

这是要做的事情，而不是——我们通常看待调情的方式，

即陌生人对我们价值的评估。

所以现在你已经知道——调情的信号了，

我鼓励你不仅要识别，——而且要主动，

因为这些信号也——可以用来表达你的兴趣。

这是我对你的挑战：

忘记游戏，——忘记规则，

做真实的自己。

采取行动，去HOTAPE一个人。

谢谢。

(掌声)

谢谢。

[英语]

Translator: Queenie Lee Reviewer: Ivana Korom

Let me ask you something.

Have you ever been in a situation

where you've asked yourself the following question:

is this person, is this person flirting with me?

Picture the scene: you're at a friend's party.

You sashay into the kitchen

because we all know that's where the fun is.

And you see an attractive stranger

getting a drink refill from a box of wine.

Your friend's a student.

And so you get a drink refill,

and you say something hilarious to the attractive stranger.

Attractive stranger laughs.

Good for you.

And then for the next few minutes

there's some eye contact, more talking.

But then after a few minutes

you start thinking, 'Is this person flirting with me?'

Sound familiar, anyone?

See the person sitting next to you, it's happened to them.

The person in front of you, it's happened to them.

You see this is a universal conundrum.

But no more!

Because in the next ten minutes

I'm going to tell you the signs of flirting

and never again will you wonder: is this person flirting with me?

I'm Jean Smith.

I'm a social anthropologist who studies flirting,

a flirtologist, if you will.

Now, as a flirtologist, I do research, I write books, I give talks.

And I work with clients both private and corporate,

all with the goal of helping people to become better flirts.

So I can see some of you sitting there, you're thinking,

'Really!? Is this necessary? I mean teaching people how to flirt?'

Yes.

(Laughter)

Yes, it is.

I've been doing this for over a decade.

And if the question -

is this person flirting with me - was popular then,

it's now everyone-wants- to-take-it-to-prom popular

because over the last decade

the way that we flirt has changed dramatically.

People are relying more and more on digital ways of communicating.

But let's face it,

an emoji with its tongue sticking out,

it's only going to get you so far.

At some point, you're going to have to meet in person.

Unless of course, you're a Japanese male,

and in that case, you could go on to marry your video game girlfriend: Rinko.

So as part of my quest to help people become better flirts,

I did research.

I went to the cities of London, New York, Paris and Stockholm,

and I researched the flirting behaviour of its inhabitants.

And I found there were six things that they all had in common.

Six ways that they could signal they were flirting

and understood when someone was flirting with them.

And I teach this as

H.O.T.-A.P.E.

(Laughter)

It's the six signs - it's an acronym for the six signs of flirting.

So what if I were to say to you: 'You must be a parking ticket

because you've got "fine" written all over you.'

Would you laugh?

Well, 'H' is for humour.

Raise your hand if you thought my joke was funny.

Go ahead, don't be shy.

OK, everyone with their hands up,

I would totally date you.

(Laughter)

Well, if my husband weren't such a control freak.

But anyway, if you didn't raise your hands,

it's not a good match.

It's just not going to work between us.

But it's me, not you.

But this is a good thing

because HOTAPE-ing people -

it takes time.

Does anyone here like reading a good novel,

watching an interesting TED talk?

Does anyone here like test cricket?

These things also take time, especially test cricket, five days?

And this is where people often get it wrong

because they want to attract everybody.

But no, you just want to attract those people

who match with you.

And that's why humour,

specifically a shared sense of humour,

is really important for helping you to differentiate

between your potential HOT-APEs and squirrel monkeys.

I mean, yeah, they're cute.

I'm sure they have a great personality.

But at the end of the day it's a squirrel monkey.

It's no HOT-APE.

So 'O' is for open body language.

Three things to remember.

Number one, don't do this.

I know some of you are guilty of this.

I've heard it all before,

oh, but I'm cold, or, this is comfortable.

OK, whiny voice aside, in which instance

do you want to HOT-APE me more?

Like this?

Or like this, right?

Not HOT-APE.

HOT-APE.

Number two: make sure your shoulders are facing the person.

So not HOT-APE,

not HOT-APE, still not HOT-APE.

HOT-APE.

Not HOT-APE.

HOT-APE.

Now, the third, this is the most important,

and I'm only telling you guys.

This is a really good one.

To see if someone's interested,

look at the direction in which their feet are pointing.

So if their feet are pointing at you, a good sign.

If they're kind of out to the side,

it means they're planning their escape route.

The further away our limbs are from our brain,

the harder it is for us to control them.

So, Shakira, I know you say: the hips don't lie,

but the flirtologist is here to say the feet don't lie.

'T' is for touch.

Like humour, touch also has a positive physiological response on our body.

Now as a general rule, shoulder - it's a safe place to touch.

But as you go down the arm towards the hands,

the touch gets more intimate.

That's why I recommend everyone should kind of tap the hand

and say something like:

'Oh, you're so funny',

people seem to love that stuff.

Oh, another place that would be nice to touch

would be just here

at the top of the back between the shoulder blades,

perhaps if you're passing by, you can give a light touch.

Now, of all of the flirting signs,

people seem to be wariest about using touch.

As one of my clients said,

'Well, the other signs you can get away with.

But when it comes to touch, you're culpable.'

But touch can get you out of the friend zone,

and it can also show someone that you're interested.

And as long as you remember,

I like test cricket,

it lasts five days,

I don't have time to HOT-APE with everyone,

then if the person doesn't respond positively,

you can try someone else.

'A' is for attention.

This one might seem obvious.

The more attention someone is paying you, the more they like you.

But the problem is once you are in the interaction,

it's really hard to be objective.

Which is why in anthropology, we have a methodology,

it's called participant observation.

And I think this could be a really useful tool for you to use in flirting.

It means that you're participating, you're in the interaction,

but you're not so in it that you can't observe.

So if you were to, for example,

touch and say something and see the other person blushed,

it means that you're not so self-conscious

that you can't observe the effect that you're having on the other person.

And that my friends is when the flirting gets really fun.

'P' is for proximity.

Now proximity was used in two ways.

The first, if you see someone across the room

and then all of a sudden they're next to your side,

this is not a coincidence.

It means they like what they see and they must explore further.

The other way proximity was used

is when you're actually in the interaction,

they're standing closer than usual.

So if you're attracted, great.

If you're not, they're in your space.

So the last of the flirting signs is the most important.

Can anyone guess what it is?

Thank you.

It's eye contact.

This was the number one way

that people could understand someone who's flirting with them

and the difference between friendly and flirting.

So in flirting eye-contact the gaze happened more often.

It was held for a longer amount of time,

and it was more intense.

So using these signs:

humour, open body language, touch, attention, proximity, eye contact,

you can recognize when someone is flirting with you.

And as a general rule, the more signs the better.

Now my favourite story of HOT-APE being used in the field

was relayed to me by one of my clients.

She had shared HOT-APE with all of her friends.

And one night, they went out HOTAPE-ing guys.

One of her friends was making eye contact with a guy at the bar,

and she went over and spoke with him.

She came back a few minutes later,

bit dejected, my client said,

'What happened? What happened?' And she's like, 'Oh nothing.'

'Well, did you HOT-APE him?' She's like, 'Yeah, yeah.'

And then they started going through the sides:

'Did you use humour?' She's like 'Yeah, yeah.'

'What about open body language? You didn't do this like you usually do?'

'No, no.'

'What about touch? Did you touch him? Back, hand.'

'Uh, God, I didn't use touch.'

And then they started laughing, like, 'Well, no wonder.'

And what normally could have been a situation of dejection

or, you know, feeling bad,

it just turned into a fun game.

And this is the power of HOTAPE

because it turns flirting into what it should be.

It's something fun, easy, it's not a big deal.

And when we think about flirting like this,

it totally changes our paradigm of rejection.

And in situations where we're often feeling self-conscious or a bit nervous,

we have scientific tools to help us remember what to do.

And finally,

it makes it's not about us,

it's a checklist; it's a task.

It's things to do rather than how we often see flirting

which is a stranger's evaluation of our worth.

So now you know the signs of flirting,

and I encourage you to not just recognize but be proactive,

because these signs also use for you to express interest.

And this is my challenge to you:

forget about the game, forget about the rules,

be genuine.

Take action and go HOTAPE someone.

Thank you.

(Applause)

Thank you.

重点词汇

词汇	含义
flirting /ˈflɜːrtɪŋ/ B1	verb - 调情 (tiáoqíng)
attractive /əˈtræktɪv/ A2	adjective - 有吸引力的 (yǒu xīyǐnlì de)
stranger /ˈstreɪndʒər/ A2	noun - 陌生人 (mòshēngrén)
situation /ˌsɪtʃuˈeɪʃən/ B1	noun - 情况 (qíngkuàng)
universal /ˌjuːnɪˈvɜːrsəl/ B2	adjective - 普遍的 (pǔbiàn de)
conundrum /kəˈnʌndrəm/ C1	noun - 难题 (nán tí)
anthropologist /ˌænθrəˈpɒlədʒɪst/ C1	noun - 人类学家 (rénlèixuéjiā)
research /rɪˈsɜːrtʃ/ B1	noun - 研究 (yánjiū)
clients /ˈklaɪənts/ A2	noun - 客户 (kèhù)
decade /ˈdɛkeɪd/ B1	noun - 十年 (shí nián)
dramatically /drəˈmætɪkli/ B2	adverb - 戏剧性地 (xìjù xìng de)
relying /rɪˈlaɪɪŋ/ B1	verb - 依赖 (yīlài)
digital /ˈdɪdʒɪtl/ B1	adjective - 数字的 (shùzì de)
communicate /kəˈmjuːnɪkeɪt/ B1	verb - 沟通 (gōutōng)
inhabitants /ɪnˈhæbɪtənts/ B2	noun - 居民 (jūmín)
signals /ˈsɪɡnəlz/ B1	noun - 信号 (xìnhào)
humour /ˈhjuːmər/ B1	noun - 幽默 (yōumò)
intense /ɪnˈtɛns/ B2	adjective - 强烈的 (qiángliè de)