(chorus) ♪ In the Russian woods,
there's an evil witch
00:21
♪ People only whisper out her name in fright
00:25
- (men) ♪ Teeth of sharpened iron
- (women) ♪ Hands that catch the wind
00:30
(chorus) ♪ Steals the children
sleeping in their beds at night
00:34
♪ She flies in a mortar and pestle
through darkened Russian skies
00:38
♪ If you see her, running would be wise
00:43
- (woman) ♪ Baba Yaga
- (child) ♪ Baba Yaga
00:49
(chorus) ♪ The witch of the Iron Forest,
her evil is next to none
00:52
- (man) ♪ Baba Yaga
- (man #2) ♪ Baba Yaga
00:58
(chorus) ♪ The wolves are afraid to chase her,
the wind is afraid to race her
01:00
♪ All Russia's afraid to face her,
except for one!
01:05
[NOW APPEARING
BARTOK THE MAGNIFICENT]
01:09
Women and children, in front.
Gentlemen behind, please.
01:19
Don't push.
There's plenty of room for everybody.
01:22
Now don't try this at home.
01:26
Er, part of the show, totally planned.
01:28
Stay with me now, folks,
cos here comes the good stuff.
01:31
♪ Once in Mongolia, I noticed a fire
01:35
♪ Whole city burning
and the flames getting higher
01:38
♪ They're yelling
"Save us or we're all gonna bake!"
01:41
♪ I ate the flames
and then I drank the whole lake
01:48
♪ They called me Bartok the Magnificent
01:50
♪ The specifically, terrifically magnificent
01:54
♪ A mammal so inflammable
he saved the day
01:57
♪ I tell you, B-A-R-T-OK
02:00
Folks, that's 10,000 pounds of pressure.
02:05
Go over there at once
and put a stop to that inane little bat.
02:08
Ludmilla, leave him alone.
I like him, he's funny.
02:13
- Your Highness, can you...
- Yes?
02:16
Folks, this here's a dragon.
An exact replica. 150, 200 tons easy.
02:24
A fire spitter. Kill ya with a flick of the tail.
Careful there, sir. Better safe than sorry.
02:30
♪ One time in Hungary
this dragon appears
02:36
♪ He's very hung-a-ry,
no dinner in years
02:39
♪ And then he grabs me
and I'm practically through
02:42
I summon all my strength, and using
the dragon's body weight against him,
02:45
I throw him off me.
And I gave him a one to the solar plexus.
02:50
And a two to the kidneys!
02:53
♪ He was deflated
cos I knew my kung fu
02:55
♪ That's why I'm Bartok the Magnificent
02:58
♪ With a ha and a hiya
that are significant
03:01
♪ That dragon hasn't eaten
since that fateful day
03:05
♪ Thanks to B-A-R-T-OK
03:08
(crowd) ♪ Bartok the Magnificent
03:22
♪ Undeniably, reliably magnificent
03:24
♪ And heaven help a harpy
who gets in my way
03:28
♪ I guess I'm just a natural or so they say
03:31
(crowd) ♪ This bat'll go to battle for you
come what may
03:35
(crowd) ♪ B - A - R - T - OK!
03:41
OK. Great crowd! Good people!
Oh, please, you're too kind!
03:47
- (sighs) Show's over.
- Thank goodness.
03:55
Hey, hey, hey, hey. OK.
04:14
Not so fast there, big fella!
04:19
Oh, really?
Well, why don't you try this on for size?
04:22
Now watch very closely.
There's a half hitch.
04:36
And here's a sailor's breastplate.
04:40
And this one's called ropin' the bear.
04:43
Hey, thanks a lot, folks.
Really, thank you. That's too kind.
05:14
Prince Ivan! That is a ring for a Romanov.
No commoner may ever wear that!
05:29
- Why?
- Because... (chuckles)
05:35
Because that is how it has always been.
05:38
Well, perhaps it's a time for a change.
05:41
Very well, Your Highness. Let us go!
05:48
Thank you for helping my people.
05:51
Please, don't be silly.
It was the least I could do.
05:53
Wow, would ya look at the shine on that?
05:57
You can't go around
giving royal jewels to commoners.
06:08
Especially street performers.
You only encourage them.
06:13
Well, I wanted to encourage him.
Ludmilla, don't be that way.
06:17
The people liked the bat.
Did you see how he made them smile?
06:22
It was nice to see them happy.
06:25
- Nonsense.
- I thought he was funny.
06:27
- Vol, what do you think?
- I thought so.
06:31
When the feathers cleared, and the bat's
standing there holding a chicken.
06:35
- That's good stuff.
- See?
06:43
Or... when he punched the...
06:45
Yes, Your Highness, I know.
06:49
But one day, you'll be tsar.
You must show respect for your crown.
06:52
If you don't,
how can you expect the peasants to?
06:58
- Your Highness, are you listening to me?
- I'm tired of listening to you.
07:01
If I am the future tsar,
then I will do as I choose.
07:08
And it is you who must respect the crown.
07:12
(Bartok) One for me and one for me.
07:26
One, two, three for me.
07:29
One, two, three for me.
07:33
And one, two, three, four for me.
07:40
- (roars)
- (screams)
07:44
Why do you do that?
I hate when you do that.
07:48
Ah, that never fails to amuse me.
07:53
You're not going to let the fact
that I got the better of you
07:57
ruin quite possibly, one of our
finer performances to date. Hmm?
08:01
You were inspiring today:
08:06
focused, fully in the moment,
08:09
exceeding well beyond
what your talent would indicate.
08:12
- Thanks a lot.
- And I...
08:17
Well, suffice it to say,
the performance of my death today
08:20
would have shamed Prometheus.
Bound to a cliff...
08:24
OK, OK, OK, Zozi,
with the cliff and the thing. Sheesh!
08:28
I wish you could hear yourself.
It's quite irritating.
08:32
- And what, pray tell, are you doing now?
- Divvying up the spoils. What do ya mean?
08:38
This again? Why notjust pool our assets?
We're always together.
08:43
- No, no, no. Fair is fair.
- You're not planning to keep that, are you?
08:46
What are you talking about?
He gave it to me.
08:51
Yes, but he's a child.
08:53
It is a ring for royalty.
You should know better.
08:55
- Yeah, well, maybe I don't.
- Well, I can only hope one day you will.
08:58
There we go.
Perfectly balanced, my friend. Here.
09:03
- Perfectly balanced?
- Oh, yeah.
09:07
- Both sides are the same?
- Exactly even.
09:09
Good. Ha! Then you won't mind
if I take this side?
09:11
Whoa, whoa, wait a second there, fella.
What happened to pooling our assets?
09:15
- Will you give the prince back his ring?
- Ah! What's the hurry?
09:21
He's not going anywhere.
09:25
Oh! Oh, oh, this can't be!
10:12
- Last night, he was in bed...
- Have you searched the grounds?
10:14
- Every inch.
- And?
10:18
Nothing. He's gone.
10:19
Oh, good heavens!
What is this?
10:24
We must inform the peasants.
10:31
Good people of Moscow,
the prince has been kidnapped.
10:39
But I know who has stolen our tsar.
10:46
For she left this iron tooth behind.
10:49
- Baba Yaga!
- Baba Yaga!
10:55
Can anyone help us?
11:02
Think, good people, think.
11:05
Who? Who can rescue our prince
from the evil Baba Yaga?
11:07
Hey, Zozi! Will you take it easy up there?
11:16
Avast there, me pint-sized matey.
Man the helm. Baton down the hatches.
11:18
Rough seas ahead.
There's a storm a'comin.
11:24
Heave-ho, hard of starboard.
11:28
(Zozi/Parrot) All hands, clear the deck.
Splice the mainsail.
11:30
- Enemies on the horizon.
- What, somebody's coming?
11:35
Aar, I spy with my, my little eye...
11:39
Cossacks. Cossacks!
11:47
Cossacks! I knew
you shouldn't have kept that ring.
11:50
Quick, hide. If they see
you're not dead, we will be.
11:53
Hurry! Hurry, hide!
11:56
- (Cossack) Halt!
- (Bartok) Halting.
12:01
Are you Bartok the Magnificent?
12:04
No. No, I'm not. Never have been. Although
I hear he is quite gifted. A real talent.
12:07
- Silence!
- All right then, I'll just be quiet then.
12:12
That's no problem for me to be quiet.
I'll shush.
12:15
That's Bertok. Bertok the Magnificent.
12:23
It's really quite different.
I take my show in a whole nother direction.
12:26
You are coming with us.
12:31
Oh, no, fellas, I really... I have a thing.
12:33
OK, then. That'll be fun.
12:36
Hello, Your Royal Impressiveness.
Listen, if this is about the ring, just take it.
12:50
Bow before the regent! Bow!
12:56
OK, there, bowing.
Don't have to tell me twice.
12:58
Oh, Bartok the Magnificent,
we are so glad you came.
13:04
Please, I... You are?
13:10
Our young tsar has been taken
by the evil witch, Baba Yaga.
13:14
Our people and the royal family
have called on you to save him.
13:20
Don't even think...
13:26
Go to the Iron Forest
13:27
and return with our tsar.
13:30
Uh, good people of the fair city of Moscow,
13:36
it would give me no greater pleasure
than to risk my life,
13:39
so that I might bring back
your fabulous prince.
13:43
And I mean that. I wouldn't just say that.
He's something special.
13:45
Unfortunately,
my schedule is extremely tight.
13:50
Let's see, I got a hydra in St Petersburg.
13:54
I gotta be in the Ukraine on the 20th.
I can't get outta that.
13:57
Hmm, perhaps I could squeeze it in
when I get back from Minsk.
14:01
I assure you,
you will be handsomely rewarded.
14:06
No, no, really. I...
Well, perhaps I could push the hydra to June.
14:11
I mean, no. I really... I can't.
14:17
Hydra, terrible. Eight heads, flailing about,
eating people. It's not pretty.
14:20
But, thank you. Thank you very much.
14:25
Oh, boy, here comes trouble.
14:30
Oh, please, magnificent Bartok, save my tsar.
14:32
Um, well, you see, it's complicated, but...
14:39
(sighs) I'll do it.
14:51
Hey, come on, huh?
How often do you get to rescue a tsar?
14:55
- Or get eaten by a witch?
- (Ludmilla) Thank you!
15:00
OK, thanks for the sendoff, fellas.
I'll take it from here.
15:07
Zozi, how's it going in there?
15:14
Listen, I'll let ya out in a second,
15:17
but first, I just wanna let you know
what a very special friend I think you are.
15:19
(chuckles) You're warm,
you're affectionate, you're supportive,
15:24
honest, thrifty, clean, reverent...
15:28
You're upset with me, aren't ya? You're
peeved. You're fuming. You're incensed.
15:36
- Bartok...
- Hang on, I'm not finished.
15:41
- You're beside yourself.
- Bartok?
15:44
I mean, literally,
you're here and yet you're here.
15:46
(chuckles) You see the... You get it?
15:50
Because you're here and yet...
15:52
They all can't be gems, all right? I'm done.
15:55
I believe we should do it.
15:58
It was the little girl. She killed me.
Did ya hear the lilt in her voice?
16:01
Nobody could resist that!
16:05
- I'm sorry. What'd you say?
- We should do it.
16:09
- We should?
- Yes.
16:10
- There's no denying it will be difficult.
- Exactly!
16:12
- Even dangerous.
- Dangerous?
16:16
OK, then that's it,
we're definitely going to St Petersburg.
16:18
Bartok, these people asked you
to help them for a reason.
16:22
Because they saw something in you.
16:25
Is it so hard for you to see it in yourself?
16:28
♪ Somebody needs you,
and that's how it starts
16:33
♪ Someone believes you'll come through
16:38
♪ You're scared, so what?
16:41
♪ I'll bet you've got
16:43
♪ A possible hero in you
16:46
♪ It's more than courage
orjust being strong
16:50
♪ Those things are easy to do
16:55
♪ Have faith, take heart.
He's kind, he's smart
16:58
♪ That possible hero in you
17:03
- ♪ Close your eyes
- I think I see it.
17:07
- ♪ You're unafraid
- I just might be.
17:11
♪ I can almost predict
17:16
No more tricks, no more false pretences
from the back of a wagon.
17:20
- Maybe I'll save a life someday.
- ♪ Or slay a dragon
17:25
- ♪ Somebody needs you
- ♪ What else can ya do?
17:31
♪ But take your chances and see
17:35
(both) ♪ We're on our way
17:39
(both) ♪ A possible hero
17:43
- ♪ Impossible hero
- ♪ A possible hero
17:45
(Bartok) Gee, who does her landscaping?
18:03
OK. Well, it's official. I'm frightened.
18:13
Well, there's your witch's hut.
18:16
(Bartok) Gee, looky here.
18:20
(Bartok and Zozi scream)
18:23
I'm terribly sorry. Did I startle you?
18:30
Yeah, yeah. You could say that.
18:34
Hmm. Now, why have you come here?
18:36
I've come for Prince Ivan.
18:40
Delightful. And how might I help you?
18:43
You let him in to talk to that evil witch
and he'll handle the rest.
18:48
And you're certain you're up to the task?
18:52
Ever heard of Bartok the Magnificent?
18:55
- Oh, should I have?
- Mm-hmm.
18:58
- Do you like riddles?
- Riddles?
19:00
- Riddles?
- Could you answer one?
19:03
- If I do, will you let me in?
- Why not? Let me see.
19:06
If a section of fence is 68 feet by five,
and the parallel section is the same length,
19:16
but both perpendicular sections
are twice as long...
19:21
What is the key that will open the door?
19:25
I'm sorry. I lost ya there.
What was that last part?
19:29
What is the key
that will open the witch's door?
19:33
- I thought it was an arithmetic thing.
- A skeleton key!
19:38
That's what I was just gonna say.
A skeleton key.
19:46
Zozi, yajumped the gun
on me there. Come on.
19:49
- (Zozi) Ooh!
- Hey!
19:55
- Mnh, mnh, mnh.
- (groans)
19:57
Did you hear me say you could go in?
19:59
- You go on ahead. I'll wait for you here.
- But...
20:04
Apparently I'm not permitted,
and as much as it might pain me
20:07
to not be with you at this critical juncture
in your life, I accept it, fully aware,
20:11
as you should be,
that I am with you in spirit.
20:15
- In spirit, huh?
- Always.
20:20
"Once more into the breach,
dear friends, once more;
20:23
"Or close the wall up
with our English dead! In peace...
20:27
Thanks for mentioning the dead, really.
That's real helpful.
20:31
(Zozi continues reading)
20:36
Oh, would you look at that.
20:52
♪ A witch's life is very solitary
21:41
♪ No one around to talk to but trees
21:46
♪ So many years of never making merry
21:51
♪ But I can feel a change in the breeze
21:55
♪ Cos tonight there's no one
in the hallway
21:59
♪ No one left or right
22:03
♪ But my hallways all say
22:05
♪ Someone's in my house tonight
22:07
♪ No one by my fire.
No one sipping tea
22:10
♪ My fires burnin' higher.
Someone's in my house with me
22:14
(women) ♪ Witches are people
with a magic intuition
22:20
(men) ♪ And she's havin' a feelin'
that is, oh, so bewitchin'
22:22
(chorus) ♪ Even though no one's
hangin' round in the kitchen.
22:24
♪ We know that someone is near, dear!
22:27
♪ No one in the attic.
No one in my chair
22:29
♪ But I'm so emphatic,
someone's in my house somewhere
22:34
- (chorus) ♪ Where is he?
- ♪ Where are you?
22:38
♪ You wouldn't desert me.
You know it would hurt me
22:41
- (chorus) ♪ Where is he?
- ♪ Where are you?
22:43
(chorus) ♪ Little no one, you're through!
22:46
♪ No one in the mirror.
No one by the door
22:48
♪ But I'm getting nearer
22:53
♪ Someone's in my house for sure
22:55
♪ No one small and dumb, no.
No one pink and white, hey
22:58
- ♪ No one
- ♪ Here I come
23:03
♪ Cos someone's in my house
23:04
♪ Somewhere in her house
23:08
♪ And no one's getting out
23:09
- Well, that was... convenient for you.
- Quiet!
23:20
OK, sure, whatever you say.
Not another peep.
23:24
You broke into my home.
23:28
Well, actually, your big head out there
by the gate, he gave me a key.
23:32
Why don't you hang onto that, that's fine.
23:37
- Shh! Ah, you've come for the prince.
- Ah, mm-hmm.
23:40
But why have they sent you?
23:45
Filthy little creature.
Not quite a rat, not quite a bird.
23:47
You certainly are not
a worthy adversary for me,
23:51
the evil Baba Yaga!
23:57
Yeah, well, appearances can be deceiving.
23:59
- I think.
- Yes, they can!
24:03
I know where the prince is.
24:08
Oh, what a shocker.
24:12
(coughs) OK, OK. I'll stop. I'll stop.
24:15
However, in order for me
to show you where he is,
24:19
you must first prove
that you are worthy of saving him.
24:23
Oh, I'm worthy. I'm extremely worthy.
They don't come more worthy than...
24:29
Sorry. Can't help it. Go ahead.
24:33
There are three things
I seek within my forest.
24:35
I will tell you where to find them
and you must bring them to me.
24:39
Ah, quick question. Totally hypothetical,
of course. What if I can't?
24:44
You can or you can't.
But if you can't, you will die,
24:49
not a hero, and Moscow
will never see its prince again.
24:54
Sounds like a real win-win.
When do I start?
25:00
- (snorts) You already have.
- I have?
25:04
- Head south to the ice quarry
- Ice quarry...
25:08
- and bring Piloff to me.
- Bring Piloff...
25:11
That's it? Bring Piloff to ya? No, it's just
I thought you were gonna say more.
25:14
How am I gonna know this Piloff?
25:19
And tell your furry friend
if he helps you in any way, you'll both die.
25:23
OK, now that I really
should be writing down.
25:28
Both die... It's the little things.
25:31
Ooh! Whoa! Hey!
OK, well, I guess I'm gonna go now.
25:37
I'll catch ya later.
25:41
He's actually rather charming
for an oversized skull.
25:48
Once you get past his inquisitive nature.
25:53
Gosh, I feel like we've
been walking for hours.
25:56
- We have.
- I have absolutely no idea where we are.
25:59
Mmm. Not unlike Oedipus,
blinded with his mother's brooch.
26:03
- Left to wander the earth, never know...
- Zozi.
26:07
I'm doing it again?
I'll stop. Is it getting cold?
26:10
I must say, it is exciting.
26:14
The first of three gifts
you must search out and bring to her.
26:16
- Uh-huh.
- And I can't help in any way?
26:20
That's what she said.
26:23
I am freezing. Why is it getting so cold?
26:25
(Piloff) Well, hello there!
26:30
I never get visitors!
You know what this is? It's a pleasure.
26:45
- It's an absolute pleasure!
- You must be Piloff.
26:49
And you must be lost. How delightful!
26:52
That's it? Little hike, some cold weather,
bring this little thing back to the witch?
26:56
Huh, this is gonna be a piece a cake.
27:01
Oh. Oh, my goodness.
27:05
- Hey there, I'm Bartok.
- Oh!
27:08
Sorry about this, my little friend,
but I gotta bring you back to Baba Yaga.
27:10
Ooh, dear. This isn't good.
You see, I'm stuck.
27:16
- Ahh! Ow!
- It's unbearable.
27:20
I don't even know how long I've been here.
What year is this?
27:24
- Oh, boy!
- How's it going?
27:28
It's not going good!
27:32
- Ooh, that tickles!
- That's really...
27:37
Pull, pull, pull! Yes! Yes!
27:40
- Ahh! Ooh!
- It's enough to drive you crazy, isn't it?
27:46
Ahh... oh, boy. Aah!
27:52
From the sound of it,
you're making great progress.
27:58
Oh, that was close. You know, I felt
like we almost had something there.
28:02
My goodness. You are determined.
28:10
I love that.
This whole thing is very exciting.
28:14
- Okey dokey.
- Artichokey!
28:19
(Bartok) My friend,
we're going to Baba Yaga's.
28:23
With or without the extra baggage.
28:27
Such fun! I am having
entirely too much fun!
28:30
Yeah, well, that makes one of us.
28:34
- (Piloff) Careful! Careful!
- Whoa!
28:49
Bartok, I've landed and I'm unharmed!
28:58
- Are ya still on the boulder?
- Um, yes!
29:02
What a strong little bat. You're actually
doing quite well. I'm very impressed.
29:07
This is one of those days you never forget.
29:17
When everything you wanted
to happen happens, only better.
29:20
I'm beside myself! You know what? Bartok,
you should try and remember this too.
29:24
Yeah, I'll make a mental note, all right?
29:30
Oh, talk about fun!
We did it Bartok! That was a blast!
29:38
Whee! Oh! Can you believe this Bartok?
29:43
We dragged this big boulder
across the forest,
29:47
and I pop off ten feet from the house.
That's funny!
29:50
Yeah, that's hysterical.
29:55
And where, pray tell,
do you think you're going?
29:58
- In to see Baba Yaga.
- Do you have a key?
30:02
No, she took it.
Ah, come on. You're kidding, right?
30:06
Me, me, me... (clears throat)
30:10
No matter how hard you hit me,
no matter how much I hurt,
30:13
- Ahh!
- I'm always good for a laugh. What am I?
30:18
- (Bartok) Hmm...
- A funny bone.
30:23
Funny bone. Ha, ha. Key, please.
30:25
You're really quite good at solving riddles.
30:33
I say, have you heard this one?
30:36
What starts off in the morning...
30:39
- You brought me Piloff!
- Hello, Baba! I was stuck to a rock.
30:41
- Unh-unh-unh. Don't sit.
- But I'm tired.
30:56
- (grumbles)
- OK, OK. I'm not sitting!
30:59
Now... go fetch me the crown of Oble,
31:03
Oble. He sounds big. Is he big?
31:10
- Enormous.
- He's much bigger than you.
31:13
- Go!
- But I'm exhausted.
31:20
- If you don't, Prince Ivan will be doomed!
- Which way?
31:22
Walk east until it's dark,
31:28
then look for a fire in the forest.
31:31
That's it, huh? Walk east and look for fire?
31:35
No 'thank you'? No 'nice work'? Nothing.
31:38
Yes, one last thing.
31:40
- Give me the key.
- Why? I solved the riddle twice already.
31:44
OK, that's yours. Take that.
31:51
Sheesh, helping people
sure can take it outta ya.
31:54
Good people of Moscow.
The prince has been taken from us.
32:00
God willing, he will be returned,
but in the meantime,
32:05
the affairs of state must continue.
32:09
And I, as regent,
will do my best to carry on and ensure
32:12
the safety of and respect for
32:17
the throne of Russia.
32:21
This is ridiculous. I'm out here
working my wings off and for what?
32:29
If I get back there and she dumps this crown
into her stew, I'm gonna have a cow.
32:34
Meanwhile, I ain't seen
hide nor hair of that prince.
32:39
- (grunts)
- Oh, would ya look at that?
32:42
(Zozi) He is large, there's no denying it.
32:46
- But perhaps he's friendly.
- Ya think?
32:50
(muttering, chuckles)
32:53
Let's try, huh? I'll just... I'll just shout to him
and ask him if I can borrow his hat.
32:58
I'll drop Baba Yaga's name.
Maybe they're friends. What could it hurt?
33:04
Yeah, very good.
We come bearing gifts, sir.
33:14
Well, not real gifts,
but gifts of warmth and affection.
33:20
In exchange for which we'd just love
to bring your headdress back to Baba Yaga.
33:27
Aaba Raaba. Pee wan foof poo mee nana!
33:33
- What did he say?
- I just don't have a clue.
33:38
Diction, my dear boy. It can make all the
difference in the world. Carry on, Bartok.
33:41
OK. Hot, hot.! Oh, that's hot!
It's hot, it's hot!
33:46
Manna ooo boorin eeeeear?
33:49
Yeah, you and me both,
my friend, I'm sure.
33:52
Ah, we just need to get that crown
of yours and we'll be on our way.
33:55
- (Bartok screaming)
- (Oble grunting)
34:04
- OK.
- Ahh... (chuckling)
34:10
OK. Hmm... how about this!
34:15
Well, how about...
Hey, it's hot, hot, hot, hot!
34:20
Part of the show, totally planned.
34:25
Stay with me now
cos here comes the good stuff.
34:30
- (grunting) Hey!
- (Bartok) Whoa!
34:49
Bartok, he's still coming.
35:00
(laughing) Would you look at you!
You did it! You did it!
35:22
- He's something special!
- Quiet, Piloff!
35:28
And she drops it in the soup... Perfect.
35:41
Tomorrow is the most difficult task of all.
35:44
(dreamily) Hold the onions.
36:01
Yeah, that's to go, please.
36:03
What's with the ruckus
first thing in the morning?
36:09
What happened to a nudge?
Or the smell of a nice cup a coffee?
36:12
Using only this crown
and the boulder from the quarry,
36:16
pluck the magic feather from the sky.
36:22
Let me stop ya forjust one sec.
36:25
It's early, I haven't eaten in two days
and I'm a little agitated.
36:27
- What does this have to do with the prince?
- Everything.
36:32
From where I'm standin' I'm just
runnin' errands for your broth there.
36:36
I am so sorry. How insensitive of me.
36:40
- Are you still tired?
- Honestly? Yes, yes, I am.
36:43
- Are you awake now?
- Yes. Yes.
36:55
- You were talking about a feather?
- A magic feather.
36:58
It floats high in the air,
in the middle of a clearing.
37:02
One feather comin' at ya.
37:08
- What's that?
- You cannot fly.
37:13
- You can't fly?
- Nope.
37:30
How do I do this? Help me here.
37:35
Hmm, maybe if I just try...
37:39
Careful now, I just wanna...
37:42
Oh, I'm exhausted.
I haven't eaten in days.
37:48
This isn't the life for me. Forget it.
37:51
♪ A possible hero in you
37:53
I tried. I did the best I can do.
37:55
We can get along without Moscow
and I won't let that witch find me.
37:58
Ahh, well, thank goodness.
38:01
If you had completed this task, everywhere
we went people would know who we are.
38:05
We'd spend the rest of our lives
running around having to help people.
38:11
The incessant touching of admirers.
It's more than one can bear.
38:16
- It certainly is.
- Now we can run away.
38:23
Hide from Baba Yaga for a few years.
I'm behind on my hibernating anyway.
38:26
Then take the show back on the road
and you can go on pretending to be
38:30
what you always wanted to be.
38:34
Besides, this is absurd.
38:37
How are you supposed to get 35 feet
in the air with a large crown and a boulder?
38:39
You just can't do it.
38:46
Well, no, I can't!
Especially now that it's all in pieces.
38:49
It's, um, in pieces.
38:54
Now we get the prince!
39:14
When is a door not a door?
39:17
When it's ajar. Child's play.
39:20
Now open wide. I'm comin' through.
39:24
Ha-ha! I did it.
There ya go. Three for three.
39:28
You didn't think I had it in me, did ya?
39:31
Now hand over the prince.
39:34
You have given me the three things
I needed from the forest.
39:38
But before I show you where the prince is
I need something from you.
39:42
But how could I know what that is
if you never told me?
39:48
Isn't this a beauty?
They don't make 'em like this anymore.
39:57
OK, OK, here it is, the mother lode.
40:05
An autographed portrait of Ivan the Terrible.
I caught him in a good mood.
40:08
It's something from here.
40:24
Hey, what's so funny?
Hey, stop it!
40:33
Why don't you stop laughing
at other people's misery!
40:37
You never said I had to give ya somethin'.
You're a cheat and a liar!
40:40
Ya babbling old woman
with your iron teeth and your hocus-pocus!
40:44
It's no wonder everybody hates ya!
40:49
Yeah, what do you want?
40:55
Oh, yeah, sure, goodbye.
40:59
Um, what are you doing?
41:17
I'm just being a silly old woman.
41:21
I didn't mean what I said.
Look, nobody hates you, OK?
41:37
Oh... Oh, I wish I could give you
what you need.
41:42
The most important ingredient,
from your heart.
42:00
And now he is worthy
and so he shall see.
42:07
Come! Hurry up, you little rat bird!
I don't have all day.
42:14
Uh... You never took him, did ya?
42:32
I never said I did.
42:35
- You never took any children!
- People will believe what they will.
42:37
I'm happy to live alone in the woods
and not be bothered.
42:41
Take this. You may need it.
42:46
- What is it?
- A magic potion.
42:49
This will allow you to be your innermost self.
42:52
whatever you are in your heart of hearts,
42:58
you will become on the outside, tenfold.
43:02
Wait a minute. You mean the whole time
I was doin' all that stuff for me?
43:07
Now leave me and save the prince!
43:13
C'mon, bring it in.
43:22
Don't push your luck, Bartok.
43:26
All right, all right, all right!
I'm outta here. Colour me gone.
43:30
And now, all we have to do is tell 'em
the prince is in the tower and, boom,
43:36
we're on to St Petersburg.
43:40
- What are you doing?
- Finding an appropriate character.
43:43
Zozi, I hate to break it to you,
but you can't go. They think you're dead.
43:46
That is exactly why a rich
and multilayered character is crucial.
43:51
The right wardrobe, a dab of well-placed
greasepaint, and none will be the wiser.
43:55
Um, Zozi, just let me go tell 'em
where the prince is.
44:01
What if something goes wrong?
We still don't know who took the prince.
44:04
Yeah, but... What is this?
44:09
Cabbage?
That's your character? Cabbage?
44:12
You're gonna blend right in with the crowd.
A big, six-foot tall cabbage guy.
44:15
Yes, but what could be more apropos...
44:20
than Simka, the Russian peasant woman?
44:24
- But...
- But nothing, OK? I'll be right back.
44:32
You have returned
from your difficultjourney.
44:45
Apparently no worse for the wear.
44:51
Our congratulations!
44:55
But where is the prince?
44:59
(clears throat) The prince never left the city.
45:02
Never left...?
I don't understand.
45:06
OK, it's a little complicated, and fairly
long-winded so everybody listen up, huh?
45:09
I left here, a fanfare, down into the forest.
45:16
Lots of trees there,
some gargoyles, big, big skull.
45:18
Solved a riddle,
met Baba Yaga. Not a looker, folks.
45:21
Did three tasks.
Not important what they are,
45:24
but, at this point, I'm confident of my
physical, emotional, and intellectual prowess.
45:27
Yeah, hold on. I'm getting there.
45:34
Me and the witch have a disagreement,
some fisticuffs ensue.
45:37
I come out on top
and she slips me this here potion. See?
45:40
A potion? For what?
45:44
Well, to be all that I can be, basically.
45:46
Since I did all the tasks,
I'm worthy of saving the prince.
45:48
It makes you tenfold on the outside
what you are on the inside.
45:52
That's my understanding anyway.
45:56
Eh, eh, eh.
Look, but don't touch, fella.
45:58
Sounds impressive, I know.
Let me break it down.
46:01
Essentially, if I ever need to be
more powerful than I already am,
46:04
I just give this here sucker the old heave-ho.
46:08
Yes, but where is the prince?
46:11
(clears throat) Prince Ivan
46:15
The tower, the tower. Tall building.
Just outside. You can't miss it.
46:22
Oh, my goodness! Well, we
46:26
must go to the tower at once.
46:28
I warn you, if the prince
is not where you say he is,
46:35
and this has all been
part of some elaborate performance,
46:39
I assure you, Bartok the Magnificent,
46:44
the city of Moscow will have your head.
46:48
- Hi, Ivan!
- Bartok?
46:57
I got worried for a sec while we were climbin'
the stairs there, I don't mind tellin' ya.
47:01
You, with the talk
about takin' my head and everything.
47:07
You imbecile! What is that?
47:14
That... That's a prince?
47:16
Very good.
Why didn't you do what I said?
47:18
I did! I dressed up like the witch,
left that tooth, and took the prince.
47:20
- And what about him?
- You told me you wanted him out of the way.
47:25
Well, what's he doing here?
47:30
Well, I put him in that cage
in the tippytop of the tower.
47:31
How much more out of the way could he be?
47:35
Dead, you imbecile!
Dead is what he could be!
47:37
Dead? But he's the prince.
47:40
- May I interject something here?
- No, you may not.
47:42
I never thought I'd have to see you again.
47:47
It was all so perfect.
47:51
Eliminate the prince, frame Baba Yaga,
send a hapless entertainer to save him.
47:53
And yet, here you are.
47:58
The conquering hero,
returning from battle with all the answers.
48:00
Well, all the better.
48:05
Vol, get the prince.
48:06
You three are the only ones who know.
48:12
And none of you
will ever leave this room...
48:16
Poor Bartok the Magnificent.
48:31
He's come so far and done so much
for the good people of Russia.
48:33
Such a shame
he'll be remembered as a liar.
48:39
Ten times more powerful than I already am.
48:44
Tenfold on the outside
what I am on the inside.
48:49
- (Ivan) Ludmilla, please!
- (Bartok) No! No!
48:54
The water will be along shortly.
49:03
I'm off to claim my throne.
49:06
♪ Starting today,
they are going to welcome a new girl
49:32
♪ Starting today,
no more lying or sneaking about
49:39
♪ They'll see someone lovely as a flower
49:46
♪ Someone who is totally in power
49:50
♪ Starting today
when the real Ludmilla comes out
49:53
♪ Starting today,
every rule's guaranteed to be broken.
50:01
(shackled men) ♪ Broken
50:06
♪ Starting today,
every whisper turns into a shout!
50:08
♪ I feel all my inhibitions moulting
50:15
♪ More than just the peasants are revolting
50:18
♪ Starting today
when the real Ludmilla comes out
50:22
(shackled men) ♪ Starting today
is the grand transformation
50:29
♪ Hide, run away or go on a vacation
50:33
♪ Starting today,
she'll be ruling the nation, no doubt
50:36
♪ Starting today, the whole world
will be mine on a platter
50:45
(shackled men)
♪ Every man on a plate
50:51
♪ Kneel, you peasant, you peon,
you dim-witted lout
50:53
(chorus)
♪ Gee, the future looks great
50:58
♪ Now my inner beauty is appearing
51:00
♪ I can almost hear the peasants cheering
51:04
♪ Starting today when the real Ludmilla
51:07
♪ Proves she's a ruler to rival Attila
51:11
♪ Starting today
when the real Ludmilla
51:14
(panicked shouting)
51:28
Vol, the water's rising, hurry!
Bartok, help!
51:50
- Eh? Zozi?
- Yes. What happened?
51:59
Oh, you know, not much.
52:02
Prince Ivan and his guard are about to drown.
I'm next cos I can't get out of the cage.
52:04
Ludmilla drank Baba's potion
and is about to take over the kingdom.
52:09
Other than that,
everything is, you know, hunky-dory.
52:13
- (Vol) We're stuck!
- (Ivan) Don't leave us here!
52:20
I believe I've separated my shoulder.
52:27
- Hey! Help us down here!
- Hurry!
52:31
One more time oughta do it.
Just give it a little more, you know, umph.
52:34
Oh, that's what I've been doing wrong.
I've been lacking...
52:39
Lemme ask ya. Ya mentioned something
about having an idea.
52:55
Was, was this what you came up with?
You can be honest.
52:58
I may have made a slight miscalculation.
53:02
I'm sorry, Your Highness.
53:14
I'm reminded of Euripides' character
Hippolytus.
53:33
Whose own life hung in the balance.
53:36
Wronged by Aphrodite.
53:39
Dying, nobly, in his forgiveness of Theseu...
53:42
You gotta stop Ludmilla. Go on!
53:51
Hey, ya got yourself
one hard head there, really.
54:21
"At night the sea began
to rise in waves of death.
54:29
Ship against ship
the Thracian stormwind shattered us."
54:36
Oh, you're very good.
54:41
First time I performed that was in '67,
the Siberian Greek Tragedy Festival.
54:44
All right. That's enough already with the fire.
54:52
Fire! Fire! The town's on fire!
55:14
We need water! Lots of water...
55:17
This is gonna stop her.
It's time for the buggeler.
55:23
In addition ya' gotta realise that
these are all a different size and weight.
55:30
That increases
the level of difficulty exponentially.
55:35
Step right this way.
55:39
"The man who is well-minded to the state...
55:41
from me, in death and life,
shall have his honour."
55:44
Please, that's completely unnecessary.
55:50
Hey, where's the water?
56:00
Yeah, I'm working on it.
56:03
Hey, good for you!
Ya got it. Congrats!
56:07
Oh, so close on that one.
56:15
I've been where you are.
I had the whole thing with a magic feather.
56:17
It's frustrating, isn't it?
It's right there, but ya can't get at it.
56:26
It's uh... It's not fun.
56:30
Much better there.
Just up a little bit and to the left.
56:33
Have a nice trip. See ya next fall.
56:42
Bartok, where's the water?
56:49
Talk about your big finish.
You can't write stuff like this.
57:09
Well done, my friend. Well done.
57:14
Yeah, well, right back at ya, my friend.
57:16
- Some wicked witch.
- Yeah.
57:20
It was those tasks that helped you become
what you always wanted to be.
57:23
And I never gave her anything.
57:27
What do you mean?
You gave her what she needed most.
57:29
And what only a true hero could.
57:32
Your compassion, Bartok.
57:35
You gave her your compassion.
57:38
Hey, I did, didn't I?
She got upset. And I helped her out.
57:40
Boom! I just gave her my compassion.
Didn't even think about it.
57:44
When ya got it, ya got it, I guess.
57:49
Tell ya what. I'm one heck of a guy.
57:51
Citizens of Moscow!
57:59
Please stand with me and
give thanks to Bartok the Magnificent.
58:05
He has saved us
and we are forever in his debt.
58:11
Please, it's embarrassing.
58:15
Oh, I almost forgot.
58:18
- That was my gift to you.
- Nonsense, Your Highness.
58:24
Let me tell ya somethin' about that ring.
That ring is a ring for royalty.
58:27
[BARTOK THE MAGNIFICENT]
58:38
(Piloff laughing) How's tricks!
58:45
I think he did really well, don't you, Baba?
58:48
(clears throat) Thank you...
for everything.
58:55
Hang on a sec. Is it me
or is there a lot a love up here right now?
59:03
Ya know what? I think it's time
for that hug I was talkin' about.
59:06
- Again with the hug!
- C'mon, Piloff. Group hug.
59:10
- Stop it now.
- Bring it in, everybody.
59:14
I love hugs. Ooooh!
59:16
You can count on it.
59:24
(Piloff) See yo soon! Auf Wiedersehen!
59:26
Goodbye, Bartok the Magnificent!
59:31
Uh, see ya later, folks.
59:39
Subtitles by Visiontext
04:58