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(CollegeHumor Originals Logo Theme) 00:00
- He had seven di - Meow 00:03
- Did you say meow? 00:04
- I did. 00:06
(laughs) 00:07
Stop laughing at me! 00:08
Stop it! 00:09
- Alright, is everyone ready to order? 00:11
- Ah yes, can we get a large mushroom pizza 00:12
and can I get a side of anchovies. 00:14
- Ooh, adventurous. 00:18
I like that. 00:19
Alright, I'll get that started of you guys right away. 00:22
- Whoa. 00:26
He was really hitting on me. 00:28
- Really? 00:30
I think waiters are just super friendly. 00:30
- Yeah, Katie, I don't know. 00:33
- Just trust me guys, I would know. 00:34
I deal with this all the time. 00:36
- Okay, maybe he was flirting with her. 00:38
- Um, thanks Trap. 00:44
I just want to make sure we're on the same page 00:45
about just being friends. 00:48
- Yeah, obviously Katie. 00:50
I was just being nice. 00:51
- Were you? 00:53
- Yes. 00:54
- Are you sure? 00:54
- Yes, I wasn't flirting. 00:55
- Alright, and here is some bread for you while you wait. 00:56
Let me know if you need anything else. 00:58
- Okay, you're seriously going to tell me 01:01
he wasn't hitting on me that time? 01:03
He's literally all smiles 01:04
when he comes over by me. 01:05
- Katie, I really don't think that was flirting. 01:07
Anyway Zack, I'm excited shoot-the-guy 01:09
gets trapped in the airplane bathroom tomorrow. 01:10
- Cool, yeah, 01:12
I thought of that because I was-- 01:13
- Okay boys. 01:14
- Yeah, I thought of it because I was 01:17
trapped in a -- 01:19
- Boys, enough! 01:20
- Stop calling us boys! 01:22
- You flirty little assholes. 01:23
You're ignoring me so that I want you more. 01:25
It's clever but it's not going to work. 01:28
- We're definitely not, so. 01:31
- Okay boys. 01:32
Little flirty assholes. 01:34
- Nope. We're just having a conversation. 01:35
- Ah, thanks, my boyfriend is really good at pouring 01:37
my drinks too, so I'm in such a happy relationship. 01:41
It's like we're basically married-- 01:46
Did you see that! 01:48
- No - She was all over me! 01:49
- No - Touching me. 01:51
Kissing me. 01:52
She blew me a kiss - She did not kiss you. 01:53
- She was like groping me. 01:55
- No, Katie, she just refilled your glass. 01:57
Not everyone is flirting with you. 01:59
- Okay, someone sounds anxious. 02:01
You are so into me Trap. 02:03
- I'm not into you. 02:04
- The Trap doth protest too much, methinks. 02:05
- [Trap] Don't talk like that. 02:09
- Okay, okay, Okay. - Oh Zack, does not like-- 02:09
- Okay, let's drop it. 02:12
- No 02:13
- Let's drop it. 02:14
Does anyone have anything fun to do this weekend? 02:16
- Alright, I see. 02:18
Trying to see what I'm up to, 02:19
so you can casually run into me? 02:20
Grant O'Brien, I was not born yesterday. 02:23
(sneezes) 02:28
Oh, Zack, were you going to sneeze in my face, 02:29
I'm flattered. 02:32
- Seriously, what would you expect-- 02:33
Oh, he's going to do it again! 02:35
(sneezes) 02:36
(laughs) 02:37
You just couldn't take your eyes off me, could you? 02:38
- You're an idiot. 02:40
No one here's into you. 02:41
You're fucking garbage, how about that? 02:42
- Dirty talk at the dinner table, Zack! 02:44
- He called you garbage, that's not dirty talk. 02:46
We're not flirting. 02:48
We're not into you, okay! 02:49
It's-- 02:50
(sniffs) 02:51
- What do you smell Trap? 02:53
- No! 02:54
- What do you smell? 02:55
- No! 02:56
- Is it stinky? 02:57
- Did you shit your pants? 02:58
- Really boys? 02:59
Trying to get a look at my little butt? 03:00
- No! - No Katie, we're not. 03:03
- You flirts! 03:05
(groans) 03:06
- Oh God, stop! - No! 03:08
(College Humor Transition Sound) 03:10
- Walk like a normal person. - Stop it! 03:13
- Stop! - Stop it, you're shaking it, 03:16
you're shaking it out of your pants! 03:16
- It's going to fall out! - No, no, no! 03:18
- Don't get by me, don't get by me! 03:20
- So, I'm going to go to the bathroom. 03:23
- Katie, please, don't get by me. 03:25
- To take care of this. 03:27
- Yes! - Yes! 03:28
- Does anybody need anything? 03:30
- From the bathroom? - No! 03:31
- Just go to the bathroom! - No! 03:32
- Oh God! - Stop! 03:34
You're so close to the plate. 03:35
People eat off this. 03:36
- Soap? 03:38
- Stop! - Stop it! 03:39
- Soap? 03:40
- Katie! 03:40
- Paper towels? 03:41
- Don't list things in the bathroom. 03:42
Go to the bathroom! - Does anybody need-- 03:44
some toilet paper? - It's all over the chair. 03:46
- We'll talk about this when you get back. 03:48
- I need toilet paper. 03:49
(screams) - I know you do! 03:50
- Fuck Zack, oh my god, it's on your fucking shirt. 03:53
- No, no, no, no! 03:55
- It's on your shirt! - It's on your left! 03:57
- No, no, no! 03:59
- Stop, stop, Stop! - Katie, Katie-- 04:00
(bangs table) 04:02
- I'm begging you to stop. - No! 04:04
- Are you still looking? 04:05
- Lick it? 04:07
Lick it? 04:08
- I said looking! 04:09
- Oh God! 04:10
- You flirts! 04:12
Flirts! 04:14
- Just don't look at her. 04:15
Just don't look at her, she'll go away. 04:17
- Why are you still here? 04:18
- Zack look. 04:19
- Katie leave. 04:20
- Zack look! 04:21
- Katie leave! 04:23
- Zack look! 04:24
- Zack look. - Look! 04:25
(groans) 04:27
(groans) 04:29
- There's so much of it, and it's so wet. 04:32
I don't know what you're eating. 04:34
(coughs) 04:36
You have to leave Katie. 04:37
- I will take you to the hospital. 04:38
Do you need to go to the hospital. 04:39
- Why are you still here? 04:40
Why are you still-- - Do you need to go 04:41
to the hospital? 04:42
Do you need to go to the hospital? 04:43
Katie, Katie, Katie, do you need to go to the hospital? 04:45
I'm taking her to the hospital. 04:50
I'm taking her to the hospital. 04:52
Let's get your coat. 04:53
Let's get your coat. 04:54
- Okay - Here you go. 04:55
Just tie this around you here. 04:55
Okay. 04:57
I'll take you out, no stop! 04:57
Stop, stop, stop, stop, come here. 04:58
Come on, come on, come on. 05:00
- Hi, it's Katie Marovitch from College Humor. 05:02
If you want to subscribe, click over here. 05:04
And for more fun stuff click over here. 05:06
And if you want access to College Humor's secret site, 05:08
make sure you send your social security number, 05:11
your credit card information, and your mother's maiden name 05:13
in a private message to me. 05:16

– 英语/中文 双语歌词

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歌词与翻译

[中文]
(CollegeHumor Originals Logo Theme)
他说有七个——喵
你刚才说喵了吗？
我说了。
(笑声)
别笑了！
住手！
好了，大家都准备好点餐了吗？
啊，是的，我们可以来一份——大号蘑菇披萨
我还要一份凤尾鱼。
哦，真有冒险精神。
我喜欢这样。
好的，我这就开始给你们准备。
哇哦。
他刚才一直在调戏我。
真的吗？
我觉得服务员只是很热情而已。
是啊，凯蒂，我不知道。
相信我，我最清楚。
我经常遇到这种事。
好吧，也许他是在调戏她。
嗯，谢谢你，特拉普。
我只是想确认一下——我们只是朋友。
是的，当然，凯蒂。
- Yeah, obviously Katie.
我只是在客气而已。
是吗？
是的。
你确定吗？
是的，我没有调戏她。
好吧，这是给你们的——面包，你们可以先吃着。
如果你们还需要什么，请告诉我。
好吧，你真的要告诉我，
他这次没有调戏我吗？
他看着我的时候，满脸笑容。
凯蒂，我真的——不觉得那是调戏。
- Katie, I really don't think that was flirting.
总之，扎克，我很期待明天——那个家伙被困在飞机洗手间的场景。
酷，是的，
- Cool, yeah,
我想到这个点子是因为我——
好了，孩子们。
是的，我想到这个点子是因为我——
被困在——
孩子们，够了！
别再叫我们孩子们了！
你们这些爱调情的混蛋。
你故意无视我，这样我才会更想要你。
这招很聪明，但没用的。
我们绝对没有，所以。
好吧，孩子们。
小小的爱调情的混蛋。
不，我们只是在聊天。
啊，谢谢，我的男朋友——很会帮我倒酒，所以我过得很幸福。
我们简直就像结婚了一样——
It's like we're basically married--
你看到没有！
没有——她一直在摸我！
没有——摸我。
亲我。
她朝我飞吻——她没有亲我。
她好像在摸我。
不，凯蒂，她只是帮你倒了杯子。
不是每个人都在调戏你。
好吧，听起来有人很焦虑。
你对我有意思，特拉普。
我没有对你有意思。
特拉普抗议得太厉害了，我想。
[特拉普]别这样说话。
好吧，好吧，好吧——哦，扎克不喜欢——
好吧，我们别说了。
不。
我们别说了。
大家周末有什么好玩的事情吗？
好吧，我明白了。
想看看我在做什么，
好能“偶然”遇到我？
格兰特·奥布莱恩，我不是昨天出生的。
(打喷嚏)
哦，扎克，你是不是——要朝我打喷嚏，
我很荣幸。
说真的，你觉得我会——
哦，他又要打喷嚏了！
(打喷嚏)
(笑声)
你就是移不开眼睛看我，对吧？
你是个白痴。
这里没有人对你有意思。
你就是垃圾，怎么样？
在餐桌上说脏话，扎克！
他叫你垃圾，那不是脏话。
我们没有调戏。
我们对你没兴趣，好吗！
是——
(抽鼻子)
你闻到了什么，特拉普？
不！
你闻到了什么？
不！
是臭的吗？
你拉裤子了吗？
真的，孩子们？
想看看我的小屁股吗？
不！——不，凯蒂，我们没有。
你们这些爱调情的家伙！
(呻吟)
哦，天啊，停下！——不！
(College Humor 过场音效)
像正常人一样走路——停下！
停下！——停下，你在抖，
你的裤子要掉下来了！
它要掉了！——不，不，不！
别挡着我，别挡着我！
所以，我要去洗手间。
- Katie, please, don't get by me.
去处理一下。
是！——是！
有人需要什么吗？
从洗手间？——不！
去洗手间！——不！
哦，天啊！——停下！
你离盘子太近了。
人们用这个盘子吃饭。
肥皂？
停下！——停下！
肥皂？
凯蒂！
纸巾？
别列举洗手间里的东西。
去洗手间！——有人需要——
卫生纸吗？——到处都是。
你回来的时候我们再谈。
我需要卫生纸。
(尖叫)——我知道你需要！
去你妈的扎克，天啊，——它沾到你的衬衫上了。
不，不，不，不！
它沾到你的衬衫上了！——在你的左边！
不，不，不！
停下，停下，停下！——凯蒂，凯蒂——
(敲桌子)
我求你停下。——不！
你还在看吗？
舔它？
舔它？
我说的是看！
哦，天啊！
你们这些爱调情的家伙！
爱调情！
别看她。
别看她，她就会走开。
你为什么还在那里？
扎克，看。
凯蒂，走开。
扎克，看！
凯蒂，走开！
扎克，看！
扎克，看——看！
(呻吟)
(呻吟)
那里有很多，而且很湿。
我不知道你在吃什么。
(咳嗽)
你必须离开，凯蒂。
我会带你去医院。
你需要去医院吗？
你为什么还在那里？
你为什么还在——你需要去
医院吗？
你需要去医院吗？
凯蒂，凯蒂，凯蒂，你需要——去医院吗？
我要带她去医院。
我要带她去医院。
我们去拿你的外套。
我们去拿你的外套。
好吧——给你。
把这个系在身上。
好的。
我带你去，不，停下！
停下，停下，停下，停下，过来。
过来，过来，过来。
你好，我是凯蒂·马罗维奇——来自College Humor。
如果你想订阅，请点击这里。
如果你想看更多有趣的内容，请点击这里。
如果你想访问——College Humor的秘密网站，
请通过私信发送你的——社会安全号码，
你的信用卡信息，以及你母亲的娘家姓。
in a private message to me.
[英语] Show

重点词汇

开始练习
词汇 含义

adventurous

/ədˈven.tʃər.əs/

B2
  • adjective
  • - 冒险的 (màoxiǎn de)

flirting

/ˈflɜːrtɪŋ/

B1
  • verb
  • - 调情 (tiáoxíng)

anxious

/ˈæŋ.ʃəs/

B1
  • adjective
  • - 焦虑的 (jiāolǜ de)

literally

/ˈlɪt.ər.ə.li/

B2
  • adverb
  • - 字面意义上 (zìmian yìyì shàng)

casual

/ˈkæʒ.u.əl/

A2
  • adjective
  • - 随意的 (suíyì de)

flattered

/ˈflæt.ərd/

B1
  • adjective
  • - 感到荣幸 (gǎndào róngxìng)

garbage

/ˈɡɑːr.bɪdʒ/

A2
  • noun
  • - 垃圾 (lājī)

ignore

/ɪɡˈnɔːr/

A2
  • verb
  • - 忽视 (hūshì)

clever

/ˈkle.vər/

B1
  • adjective
  • - 聪明的 (cōngmíng de)

basically

/ˈbeɪ.sɪ.kli/

A2
  • adverb
  • - 基本上 (jīběn shàng)

refilled

/riːˈfɪld/

A2
  • verb
  • - 重新填充 (chóngxīn tiánchōng)

protest

/proʊˈtest/

B1
  • verb
  • - 抗议 (kàngyì)

subscribe

/səbˈskraɪb/

B1
  • verb
  • - 订阅 (dìngyuè)

hospital

/ˈhɒs.pɪ.təl/

A2
  • noun
  • - 医院 (yīyuàn)

begging

/ˈbeɡɪŋ/

A2
  • verb
  • - 恳求 (kěnqiú)

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重点语法结构

  • Alright, is everyone ready to order?

    ➔ 间接疑问句 (jiānjiē yíwèn jù)

    ➔ 这句话使用了间接疑问句，比直接疑问句更礼貌。'Is everyone ready to order?' 嵌入在 'Alright' 的陈述句中。

  • Just trust me guys, I would know.

    ➔ 条件句 (第二条件句 - 暗示)

    ➔ “I would know” 暗示了一个条件句：“如果我处于知道的情况，我会知道。” 这是第二条件句的缩写形式。

  • Were you?

    ➔ 疑问标签/为了强调的倒装

    ➔ “Were you?” 是一种简短的疑问标签，用于表达惊讶或质疑之前的陈述。它还使用了倒装（助动词在主语之前）来强调。

  • You flirty little assholes.

    ➔ 称谓/强烈的形容词

    ➔ 这句话直接称呼被说的人（“you”），并使用一个强烈的贬义形容词（“assholes”）来强调和产生情感冲击。“Flirty”充当描述性形容词。

  • It's going to fall out!

    ➔ 将来进行时 (jiānglái jìnxíngshí) - 暗示 / 感叹句

    ➔ 这句话表达了对即将发生的事情的突然意识到和担忧。“It's going to fall out” 暗示着近期的持续动作。它也是一个感叹句。

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