– 英语/中文 双语歌词

歌词与翻译

[中文]

你有没有在一天当中停下正在做的事情，然后想，我真是个笨蛋？

大家好，我是——你们的女神，超人。

What up, everyone, it's your girl, Super Woman.

我经历了——多年的学习

但我仍然觉得我——不知道如何在现实世界中正常生活。

就像我时不时地，不知道

Like every once in awhile, I have no idea

该如何完成一个简单的任务。

就像我真的只是从墙上走过我的学位证书，

然后我就想，到底是怎么回事

每次去宜家都迷路？

以及我总是记不住——把车停在哪里？

而且我的iCloud存储空间永远不够。

主要是因为我不知道那是什么。

这是因为有时候，或者说——很可能，或者说就像周一

到周五，学校教孩子们一些没用的东西。

我说的是，学校应该让你为

现实世界的挣扎做好准备。

第一点，数学。

我迷路在一个奇怪的地方——而且我的手机没电了，

我该怎么办？

背诵九九乘法表？没人会这么做。

说实话，你在学校学的大部分

数学在日常生活中完全没用。

今天我们要学习如何测量

圆的周长。

圆的直径。

圆的半径。

这个三角形的边长，斜边。

数学现在也要包含字母了。

好吧，数学现在是小写字母。

A代表秋天。

抛物线。

两个抛物线，抛物线，两个抛物线。

锐角。

——哇，真可爱。

——梯形。

——呃！

——还有这个六边形的余弦

平行四边形正切等腰三角形。

有什么问题吗？

因为学校把你的头脑

塞满了这些复杂的——公式，当涉及到简单的日常数学时，

你就是个傻瓜。

太棒了。

我需要解开我的裤子。

哦，谢谢。

哦，实际上我们可以AA制吗？

——不，抱歉，两人以上的聚会不行。

——哦。

——拿出你们的计算器，大家。

谁点的牛排？

——取决于，牛排多少钱来着？

——你问多少钱干什么？

不管多少钱，你点了牛排

还是没点牛排？

——我真的觉得每个人都是30美元。

——我没喝酒。

你们两个都喝了。

——而且，是的，你还点了牛油果酱。

——牛油果酱不加钱。

——牛油果酱永远加钱，闭嘴

——包含小费了吗？

——没有。

所以我们必须单独给小费。

我们各自给小费吧。

现金，信用卡，你打算怎么付--

——我们算每个人20美元吧。

——好吧，但这包括小费。

——好吧，好吧，我喜欢那部电影。

——那是《料理鼠王》，——哦，这是小费。

你真是个笨蛋。

——好吧，我们还差80美元。

——怎么会？

——因为税。

——什么是税？

——等等，我没进位。

——标准是多少，是13%吗？

——加上它，除以二--

——能给我们一些方格纸吗，拜托？

如果我每次和朋友们

算不清账单，

我就能赚足够的钱来支付整顿饭的费用。

因为我太笨了。

第二点：外语。

在加拿大长大，

我必须学习法语。（说外语）

所以在我生命的九年里，我必须学习

把它作为第二语言。

所以告诉我为什么

我在旅行时遇到的最大的语言障碍是在法国

因为我完全不知道对方在说什么。

你为什么这么问？

因为……

（说外语）

欢迎来到你的第一节法语课。

今天我们要学习

关于披萨配料的所有知识。

学习如何共轭跳跃的动词。

（说外语）

今天的课程，马戏团术语。

（说外语）

不不。

（说外语）

（说外语）

（说外语）

——我需要帮助，怎么说？

——你知道他们应该在学校教什么吗？

如何理解你在日常生活中会遇到的外语。

you will see in your daily life.

——等等，你可以在这里停车吗？

——它说我可以在中午到三点之间在这里停车。

——好的，你没问题。

——哦，等等，但它也说周一不能停。

以及在有T字母的日子里。

——我觉得你没问题。

——而且在街道清洁期间或在四分月期间也不行。

——我觉得你没问题。

——而且下午五点只允许持证停车。

——我们没问题。

——而且我想周六是禁止停车区。

——我们仍然没问题。

——好吧，太棒了。

哦，不，忘了我的手机。

我去！

阅读停车标志101。

我说的是，我们需要这种教育。

（欢快的音乐）

Worksheets.

You don't know what frustration or inner turmoil is

in life unless you've had to cut out

those geometric paper shapes and glue them together

to make 3D shapes.

You know exactly what the F I'm talking about

with the effin' tabs and the effin' gluestick.

I just can't, I'm sweating, I'm literally sweating

just thinking about it.

In today's day and age that whole process makes no sense.

All right, students, now today I want you to cut out

these shapes and then glue these shapes together

to make 3D shapes.

It's important you learn how to do this

because 3D printers will never exist.

And then I want you to answer questions about the shapes.

- What if I already know how many sides are on a cube?

- Make the cube.

- I can literally just count the sides of the cube

without building it.

- Make the cube.

- I'm done with my sphere.

- Hey, make the cube.

Instead of giving me worksheets full of mindless work,

teach me how to work with sheets in real life.

(upbeat music)

（尖叫）

第四点，着装规范。

现在我要坦诚地说。

我从小上学时唯一的着装规范

是不允许出现帮派标志。

是的，这应该让你对很多事情有所了解。

但如今学校的着装规范

绝对荒谬，而且根本不能反映

现实世界。

同学们，正如你所见，

这位年轻女士的裙子短了一英寸，

而我没有觉悟到这个着装规范是性别歧视的，所以，回家去吧。

把你的衬衫塞进去，年轻人。

把你的裤子拉起来，先生，这不是 YOLO。

嘿，不许戴帽子。

看起来你的上衣离你的腰部只有一厘米。

我们不想让男学生

分心，对吧？

学校，如果你把着装规范

灌输到学生的脑海中，

那么当你毕业后，

他们会参加活动。

他们仍然不知道该穿什么

合适的衣服。

嘿，今晚的着装规范是什么？

——[电话里的男人]商务休闲。

——西装套装？

——[电话里的男人]不，只是休闲一点。

——牛仔裤可以吗？

——[电话里的男人]不，更商务休闲。

——我晚点见你！

——好的。

商务休闲。

你好，我是商务休闲。

哦，嘿，嗨，我？

我是商务休闲。

有什么事？

商务休闲。

您好，先生，我叫商务休闲。

这才是学校应该教的东西。

好吧，我不在乎你在数学课上穿什么。

告诉我该穿什么去参加婚礼。

去开会，去社交，还有，社交到底是什么？

社交什么时候变成名词了？

首先，什么，什么，什么？

但说真的，我可以跟你说实话吗。

我知道上学的感受。

每个人都回去上学。

确实，你在学校学的大部分具体的东西，

你永远永远都不会在你的生活中用到。

但请相信我，你会用到时间管理，

社交技巧，职业道德技能。

所有你在那种环境中学习到的生活技能，你都会学到的。

in that environment, you will learn.

所以你知道吗？

坚持下去，搞清楚该死的斜边，好吗？

我保证有一天你会觉得值得的。

加油，努力奋斗。

哦，你，你，别停，你现在正在看。

在你离开之前，甚至不要想，

点赞这个视频，甚至不要。

如果你想看更多像这个视频，

就在那里，我的日常vlog频道

幕后花絮，所有这些东西都在那里。

确保你订阅——因为我每周一和周四发布新视频

并点击那个铃铛

以便在上传时收到通知。

爱你们，超人，就这样，砰！

[英语]

- Do you ever stop what you're doing

in the middle of the day and just think, I'm a moron.

What up, everyone, it's your girl, Super Woman.

And I've been through years and years of school

but I still feel like I don't know how to function

like a proper human being in the real world.

Like every once in awhile, I have no idea

how to do a simple task.

Like I literally just walk past my degree on the wall

and I'm just wondering like how the eff

do I still get lost in Ikea every damn time?

And how can I never remember where I park my car?

And I never have enough Icloud storage.

Mostly because I don't know what that is.

That's because sometimes, aka very likely, aka like Monday

to Friday, school teaches kids useless things.

I'm just saying, school should prepare you

for real world struggles.

Number One, Mathematics.

I'm lost in a strange place and my phone is dead,

what do I do?

Recite your nine times tables said no one ever.

Let's just be real, most of the math you learn in school

is completely useless in everyday life.

Today we're gonna learn how to measure

the circumference of a circle.

The diameter of a circle.

The radius of the trigonometry.

The length of this side of this triangle, the hypotenuse.

Math is also going to include letters now.

Okay, math is now pretty little letters.

Fall for A.

Parabola.

Two parabolas, parabola, two parabolas.

Acute angles.

- Aww, cute.

- Trapezoids.

- Eh!

- And the equation of this hexagon cole sign

parallelogram tangent isosceles.

Any questions?

And because school fills your head

with all these complex equations when it comes

to simple everyday math, you're an idiot box.

That was so good.

I need to like unbutton my pants.

Oh thank you.

Oh actually can we split the bill?

- No sorry, not for parties over two.

- Oh.

- Bust out your calculators everybody.

Who got the steak?

- Depends, how much was it again?

- What do you mean how much was it?

Doesn't matter how much, did you get the steak

or did you not get the steak?

- I honestly think it's just like $30 each.

- Yo, I didn't drink.

Both of you did.

- Also, yeah, you got guac on the side.

- Guac isn't extra.

- Guac is always extra, shut your mouth

- Does it include tip yet?

- No.

So we have to tip individually.

Let's just tip individually.

Cash, credit card, what are you doing--

- Let's just call it 20 bucks each.

- All right, but this includes gratuity.

- Okay, okay, I loved that movie.

- That's Ratatouille, ho, this is gratuity.

Boy, you stupid.

- Okay, we're like $80 short.

- How?

- Because of the tax.

- What the hell is tax?

- Hold up, I didn't carry the one.

- What's the standard, is it 13%?

- Plus it, divided by two--

- Can we get some graph paper, just can we?

If I had a dollar for every time my friends and I

could not figure out the division of the bill,

I would have enough money to just pay for the whole meal.

Because me stupid.

Number two: foreign languages.

Growing up in Canada, I had to learn French.

(speaks foreign language)

So for nine years of my life, I had to learn

this as a second language.

So tell me why the biggest language barrier

I have ever faced while traveling is in France

because I had no idea what the F anyone was saying.

Why you ask?

Because ...

(speaks foreign language)

Welcome to your first day of French class.

Today we're going to learn all about pizza toppings.

How to conjugate the verb to jump.

(speaks foreign language)

Today's lesson, circus terms.

(speaks foreign language)

(speaks foreign language)

No no.

(speaks foreign language)

(speaks foreign language)

(speaks foreign language)

- How do you say, I need help?

- You know what they should teach you in school?

How to understand foreign languages

you will see in your daily life.

- Wait, can you park here?

- It says I can park here between noon and three.

- Okay, so you're good.

- Oh wait, but it also says not on Mondays.

And on days that have a T in it.

- Think you're good.

- Also not during street cleaning or during a quarter moon.

- I think you're good.

- And by permit only at 5 p.m.

- We're good.

- And I think it's a tow away zone on Saturdays.

- We're still good.

- Okay, dope.

Oh no wait, forgot my phone.

What the F?

Reading parking signs 101.

I'm just saying, this the type of education we need.

(speaks foreign language)

Worksheets.

You don't know what frustration or inner turmoil is

in life unless you've had to cut out

those geometric paper shapes and glue them together

to make 3D shapes.

You know exactly what the F I'm talking about

with the effin' tabs and the effin' gluestick.

I just can't, I'm sweating, I'm literally sweating

just thinking about it.

In today's day and age that whole process makes no sense.

All right, students, now today I want you to cut out

these shapes and then glue these shapes together

to make 3D shapes.

It's important you learn how to do this

because 3D printers will never exist.

And then I want you to answer questions about the shapes.

- What if I already know how many sides are on a cube?

- Make the cube.

- I can literally just count the sides of the cube

without building it.

- Make the cube.

- I'm done with my sphere.

- Hey, make the cube.

Instead of giving me worksheets full of mindless work,

teach me how to work with sheets in real life.

(upbeat music)

(screams)

Number four, dress codes.

Now I'm gonna be straight up.

The only dress code I had in my school growing up

was no gang signs.

Yeah, that should put a lot of things in context for you.

But today dress codes in schools are absolutely ridiculous

and not at all a good reflection of what

the real world is.

Class as you can see, this young lady's skirt

is one inch too short and I'm not woke enough

to realize this dress code is sexist, so, go home.

Tuck in that shirt, young man.

Pull up those pants, sir, this isn't a yolo.

Hey, no hats.

Looks like your top is one centimeter above your mid drift.

We don't want the male students

to lose focus, now do we?

Schools you have failed as educators

if you drill a dress code into your students' minds

and then they graduate and after they graduate

they get invited to events.

And they still don't know what the F

is appropriate attire to wear.

Hey, so what's the dress code for the event tonight?

- [Man On Phone] Business casual.

- Like a pant suit?

- [Man On Phone] Nope, just nice and casual.

- Like jeans?

- [Man On Phone] No, more business casual.

I'll see you there!

- K.

Business casual.

Hello, I'm business casual.

Oh, hey, hi me?

I'm business casual.

What's up?

Biz cas.

Goodday, sir, my name is business casual.

That's what they should teach in school.

Okay, I don't give an F what to wear in math class.

Tell me what to wear to a wedding.

To a meeting, to a social, also, what the F is a social?

Since when is social a noun?

First of all, what, what, what?

But real talk, can I just be real with you.

I know how school feels.

Everyone going back to school.

It is true, a lot of the specific things

you learn in school, you will never ever use in your life.

But hear me when I say, you will use the time management,

social skills, the work ethic skills.

All the life skills you learn through being

in that environment, you will learn.

So you know what?

Tough it out, figure out the God damn hypotenuse, okay?

I promise it'll be worth it one day.

Kill it, hustle hard.

Oh you you, stop stop, you watching right now.

Before you go anywhere, don't even think about,

thumbs up the video, don't even.

If you wanna watch more videos like this one,

right over there, my daily vlog channel

behind the scenes all that stuff right over there.

Make sure you subscribe 'cause I make new videos

every Monday and Thursday and hit that bell

to be notified when I upload.

One love, super woman, that is a wrap and zoop!

重点词汇

词汇	含义
moron /ˈmɒr.ən/ B1	noun - 傻瓜 (shǎguā)
function /ˈfʌŋkʃən/ B2	verb - 功能 (gōngnéng)
literally /ˈlɪt.ər.ə.li/ B1	adverb - 字面意义上 (zìmian yìyì shàng)
struggles /ˈstrʌɡ.əlz/ B1	noun - 挣扎 (zhēngzhá)
circumference /sərˈkʌm.fər.əns/ C1	noun - 周长 (zhōucháng)
diameter /daɪˈæm.ɪ.tər/ B2	noun - 直径 (zhījìng)
radius /ˈreɪ.di.əs/ B2	noun - 半径 (bànjìng)
trigonometry /ˌtrɪɡ.əˈnɒm.ə.tri/ C1	noun - 三角学 (sānjiǎoxué)
hypotenuse /haɪˈpɒt.ən.juːs/ C1	noun - 斜边 (xiébiān)
parabola /pær.əˈboʊ.lə/ C1	noun - 抛物线 (pāowùxiàn)
acute /əˈkjuːt/ B2	adjective - 锐角 (ruìjiǎo)
trapezoids /ˈtræp.ə.zɔɪdz/ B2	noun - 梯形 (tīxíng)
hexagon /ˈhek.sə.ɡɒn/ B2	noun - 六边形 (liùbiānxíng)
parallelogram /ˌpær.əˈlel.ə.ɡræm/ B2	noun - 平行四边形 (píngxíng sìbiānxíng)
tangent /ˈtæn.dʒənt/ C1	noun - 切线 (qièxiàn)
isosceles /ˌaɪ.sɒs.i.liːz/ C1	adjective - 等腰 (děngyāo)
gratuity /ɡrəˈtjuː.ɪ.ti/ B2	noun - 小费 (xiǎofèi)