Amish Paradise
By
"Weird" Al Yankovic
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164,116,676
Please choose the correct answer for each question below:
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(intense hiphop music)
♪ As I walk through the valley
where I harvest my grain ♪
♪ I take a look at my wife
and realize she's very plain ♪
♪ But that's just perfect
for an Amish like me ♪
♪ You know, I shun fancy
things like electricity ♪
♪ At 4:30 in the morning,
I'm milkin' cows ♪
♪ Jebediah feeds the chickens
and Jacob plows, fool ♪
♪ And I've been milkin'
and plowin' so long that ♪
♪ Even Ezekiel thinks
that my mind is gone ♪
♪ I'm a man of the land,
I'm into discipline ♪
♪ Got a Bible in my hand
and a beard on my chin ♪
♪ But if I finish all of my
chores, and you finish thine ♪
♪ Then tonight we're gonna
party like it's 1699 ♪
♪ We been spending most our lives ♪
♪ Living in an Amish paradise ♪
♪ I churned butter once or twice ♪
♪ Living in an Amish paradise ♪
♪ It's hard work and sacrifice ♪
♪ Living in an Amish paradise ♪
♪ We sell quilts at discount price ♪
♪ Living in an Amish paradise ♪
♪ A local boy kicked me
in the butt last week ♪
♪ I just smiled at him and
I turned the other cheek ♪
♪ I really don't care,
in fact I wish him well ♪
♪ 'Cause I'll be laughing my head off ♪
♪ When he's burning in hell ♪
♪ But I ain't never punched a
tourist even if he deserved it ♪
♪ An Amish with a 'tude ♪
♪ You know that's unheard of ♪
♪ I never wear buttons
but I got a cool hat ♪
♪ And my homies agree I really
look good in black, fool ♪
♪ If you come to visit,
you'll be bored to tears ♪
♪ We haven't even paid the
phone bill in 300 years ♪
♪ But we ain't really quaint ♪
♪ So please don't point and stare ♪
♪ We're just technologically impaired ♪
♪ There's no phone, no
lights, no motorcar ♪
♪ Not a single luxury ♪
♪ Like Robinson Crusoe ♪
♪ It's as primitive as can be ♪
♪ We been spending most our lives ♪
♪ Living in an Amish paradise ♪
♪ We're just plain and simple guys ♪
♪ Living in an Amish paradise ♪
♪ There's no time for sin and vice ♪
♪ Living in an Amish paradise ♪
♪ We don't fight, we all play nice ♪
♪ Living in an Amish paradise ♪
♪ Hitching up the buggy,
churning lots of butter ♪
♪ Raised a barn on Monday,
soon I'll raise another ♪
♪ Think you're really righteous ♪
♪ Think you're pure in heart ♪
♪ Well, I know I'm a million
times as humble as thou art ♪
♪ I'm the pious guy the little
Amlettes wanna be like ♪
♪ On my knees day and night ♪
♪ Scoring points for the afterlife ♪
♪ So don't be vain and don't be whiny ♪
♪ Or else, my brother ♪
♪ I might have to get
medieval on your heinie ♪
♪ We been spending most our lives ♪
♪ Living in an Amish paradise ♪
♪ We're all crazy Mennonites ♪
♪ Living in an Amish paradise ♪
♪ There's no cops or traffic lights ♪
♪ Living in an Amish paradise ♪
♪ But you'd probably think it bites ♪
♪ Living in an Amish paradise ♪
♪ Oh ♪
♪ Oh ♪
(singers groaning)
