Word Crimes – English Lyrics

• By: "Weird Al" Yankovic
• Album: Mandatory Fun

Lyrics & Translation

Dive into the hilarious world of English grammar with "Word Crimes" by "Weird Al" Yankovic! This brilliant parody of Robin Thicke's "Blurred Lines" cleverly highlights common language pitfalls in a catchy and unforgettable way. Through witty lyrics and a fun beat, you'll learn about everything from apostrophe errors to the misuse of 'literally,' making it a unique and entertaining tool for anyone looking to sharpen their English skills. What makes it special is "Weird Al's" signature blend of sharp humor and educational content, proving that learning can be incredibly fun.

[English]

>> ♪ EVERYBODY, SHUT UP ♪

♪ HEY ♪

♪ WHOO ♪

♪ HUNH, HUNH ♪

♪ EVERYONE, LISTEN UP ♪

♪ HEY, HEY, HEY ♪

♪ HEY, HEY, HEY ♪

♪ UNH ♪

♪ HEY, HEY, HEY ♪

♪ HUNH ♪

WHOO!

♪ CHECK ME OUT ♪

♪ IF YOU CAN'T WRITE

IN THE PROPER WAY ♪

>> LOUSY WRITER!

>> ♪ IF YOU DON'T KNOW

HOW TO CONJUGATE ♪

♪ HEY ♪

♪ MAYBE YOU FLUNKED THAT CLASS ♪

♪ HEY, HEY, HEY! ♪

♪ AND MAYBE NOW YOU FIND ♪

♪ HEY, HEY, HEY! ♪

♪ THAT PEOPLE MOCK YOU ONLINE ♪

♪ HEY, HEY, HEY! ♪

♪ EVERYBODY, WISE UP ♪

♪ OKAY, NOW HERE'S THE DEAL:

I'LL TRY TO EDUCATE YA ♪

♪ GONNA FAMILIARIZE

YOU WITH THE NOMENCLATURE ♪

>> ♪ OOH, YOW! ♪

>> ♪ YOU'LL LEARN THE

DEFINITIONS ♪

♪ HEY, HEY, HEY! ♪

♪ OF NOUNS AND PREPOSITIONS ♪

♪ HEY, HEY, HEY! ♪

♪ LITERACY'S

YOUR MISSION ♪

♪ HEY, HEY, HEY! ♪

♪ AND THAT'S WHY I THINK

IT'S A GOOD TIME

TO LEARN SOME GRAMMAR ♪

♪ WHAT? ♪

♪ NOW, DID I STAMMER? ♪

♪ WORK ON THAT GRAMMAR ♪

♪ YOU SHOULD KNOW WHEN ♪

♪ HEY, HEY ♪

♪ IT'S "LESS" OR IT'S "FEWER" ♪

♪ WHOA, YEAH ♪

♪ LIKE PEOPLE WHO WERE... ♪

♪ ALL RIGHT ♪

♪ ...NEVER RAISED IN A SEWER ♪

♪ I HATE THESE WORD CRIMES,

LIKE "I COULD CARE LESS" ♪

♪ HEY, HEY, HEY! ♪

♪ THAT MEANS YOU DO CARE ♪

♪ WHOA-OH-OH-OH ♪

♪ AT LEAST A LITTLE ♪

♪ DON'T BE A MORON ♪

♪ HEY, HEY ♪

♪ YOU'D BETTER SLOW DOWN ♪

♪ WHOO! ♪

♪ AND USE THE RIGHT PRONOUN ♪

♪ HEY, HEY ♪

♪ SHOW THE WORLD

YOU'RE NO CLOWN ♪

♪ EVERYBODY, WISE UP ♪

♪ SAY YOU'VE GOT AN I-T,

FOLLOWED BY APOSTROPHE S ♪

♪ NOW, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? ♪

♪ YOU WOULD NOT USE "IT'S"

IN THIS CASE

AS A POSSESSIVE ♪

♪ NO, NO, NO ♪

♪ IT'S A CONTRACTION ♪

♪ YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! ♪

♪ WHAT'S A CONTRACTION? ♪

WELL, IT'S THE SHORTENING OF A

WORD OR GROUP OF WORDS BY

OMISSION OF A SOUND OR LETTER.

♪ OKAY, NOW HERE ARE SOME

NOTES ♪

♪ SYNTAX YOU'RE ALWAYS

MANGLING ♪

♪ NO "X" IN "ESPRESSO" ♪

♪ YOUR PARTICIPLE'S DANGLING ♪

♪ UH HUH! ♪

♪ BUT I DON'T WANT YOUR DRAMA ♪

♪ HEY, HEY, HEY! ♪

♪ UH HUH! ♪

♪ IF YOU REALLY WANNA ♪

♪ HEY, HEY, HEY! ♪

♪ UH HUH! ♪

♪ LEAVE OUT THAT OXFORD COMMA ♪

♪ HEY, HEY, HEY! ♪

♪ UH HUH! ♪

♪ JUST KEEP IN MIND THAT

"BE," "SEE," "ARE," "YOU"

ARE WORDS, NOT LETTERS ♪

♪ GET IT TOGETHER ♪

♪ HEY, HEY ♪

♪ USE YOUR SPELL-CHECKER ♪

♪ YOU SHOULD NEVER... ♪

♪ WHOA, NO ♪

♪ ...WRITE WORDS USING NUMBERS ♪

♪ HEY, HEY ♪

♪ UNLESS YOU'RE 7 ♪

♪ YEAH, HEY ♪

♪ OR YOUR NAME IS PRINCE ♪

♪ I HATE THESE WORD CRIMES ♪

♪ THEM CRIMES ♪

♪ YOU REALLY NEED A... ♪

♪ I HATE THEM CRIMES ♪

♪ ...FULL-TIME PROOFREADER ♪

♪ I MEAN, THOSE CRIMES ♪

♪ YOU DUMB MOUTHBREATHER ♪

♪ WELL, YOU SHOULD HIRE ♪

♪ WHOA, HIRE ♪

♪ SOME CUNNING LINGUIST ♪

♪ HEY, HEY, YEAH ♪

♪ TO HELP YOU DISTINGUISH

WHAT IS PROPER ENGLISH ♪

♪ EVERYBODY, WISE UP ♪

♪ ONE THING I ASK OF YOU ♪

♪ TIME TO LEARN YOUR HOMOPHONES

IS PAST DUE ♪

♪ LEARN TO DIAGRAM A SENTENCE,

TOO ♪

♪ ALWAYS SAY "TO WHOM";

DON'T EVER SAY "TO WHO" ♪

♪ AND LISTEN UP WHEN I TELL YOU

THIS ♪

♪ I HOPE YOU NEVER USE QUOTATION

MARKS FOR EMPHASIS ♪

♪ YOU FINISHED SECOND GRADE ♪

♪ I HOPE YOU CAN TELL

IF YOU'RE DOING GOOD OR DOING

WELL ♪

♪ BETTER FIGURE OUT

THE DIFFERENCE ♪

♪ IRONY IS NOT COINCIDENCE ♪

♪ AND I THOUGHT THAT YOU'D

GOTTEN IT THROUGH YOUR SKULL ♪

♪ 'BOUT WHAT'S FIGURATIVE AND

WHAT'S LITERAL ♪

♪ OH, BUT JUST NOW ♪

♪ JUST NOW ♪

♪ YOU SAID ♪

♪ YOU SAID ♪

♪ YOU "LITERALLY COULDN'T

GET OUT OF BED" ♪

♪ WHAT? ♪

♪ THAT REALLY MAKES ME WANT TO

LITERALLY SMACK A CROWBAR

UPSIDE YOUR STUPID HEAD ♪

♪ I READ YOUR E-MAIL ♪

♪ YEAH, YEAH ♪

♪ IT'S QUITE APPARENT ♪

♪ WHOO! ♪

♪ HEY ♪

♪ YOUR GRAMMAR'S ERRANT ♪

♪ YOU'RE INCOHERENT ♪

♪ SAW YOUR BLOG POST ♪

♪ HEY, HEY ♪

♪ IT'S REALLY FANTASTIC ♪

♪ OH, IT WAS ♪

♪ THAT WAS SARCASTIC ♪

♪ AW, PSYCH ♪

♪ 'CAUSE YOU WRITE LIKE A

SPASTIC ♪

♪ I HATE THESE WORD CRIMES ♪

♪ EVERYBODY, WISE UP ♪

♪ YOUR PROSE IS DOPEY ♪

♪ HEY ♪

♪ THINK YOU SHOULD ONLY... ♪

♪ WHOA-OH ♪

♪ ...WRITE IN EMOJI ♪

♪ OH, YOU'RE A LOST CAUSE ♪

♪ HEY, HEY, HEY! ♪

♪ GO BACK TO PRE-SCHOOL ♪

♪ WHOO ♪

♪ GET OUT OF THE GENE POOL ♪

♪ HEY, HEY ♪

♪ TRY YOUR BEST TO NOT DROOL ♪

♪ WHOO! ♪

>> NEVER MIND. I GIVE UP.

>> ♪ WHOO ♪

>> REALLY NOW, I GIVE UP.

>> ♪ WHOO ♪

♪ HEY, HEY, HEY! ♪

♪ HEY, HEY, HEY! ♪

♪ GO AWAY ♪

Key Vocabulary

Vocabulary	Meanings
write /raɪt/ A2	verb - to form letters, words, or symbols on a surface with a pen, pencil, or other instrument
grammar /ˈɡræmər/ B1	noun - the system of rules that governs the structure of sentences in a language
literacy /ˈlɪtərəsi/ B2	noun - the ability to read and write
mock /mɒk/ B2	verb - to make fun of someone or something in a cruel way
conjugate /ˈkɒndʒʊɡeɪt/ B2	verb - to give the different forms of a verb according to tense, person, etc.
pronoun /ˈproʊnaʊn/ A2	noun - a word that takes the place of a noun
syntax /ˈsɪn.tæks/ C1	noun - the arrangement of words and phrases to create well-formed sentences in a language
definition /ˌdɛfɪˈnɪʃən/ B1	noun - a statement of the exact meaning of a word or phrase
sentence /ˈsɛntəns/ A1	noun - a set of words that expresses a complete thought
proofreader /ˈpruːfˌriːdər/ C1	noun - a person who reads text to find and correct errors
distinguish /dɪˈstɪŋɡwɪʃ/ B2	verb - to recognize or ascertain what makes something different
irony /ˈaɪrəni/ C1	noun - the expression of one's meaning by using language that normally signifies the opposite
figurative /ˈfɪɡərətɪv/ C2	adjective - representing something in a symbolic way rather than literally
literal /ˈlɪtərəl/ C1	adjective - taking words in their most basic sense without metaphor or exaggeration
sarcastic /sɑːrˈkæstɪk/ C1	adjective - using irony to mock or convey contempt

Key Grammar Structures

• IF YOU CAN'T WRITE IN THE PROPER WAY

  ➔ Conditional sentences (Type 1)

  ➔ This sentence uses a conditional structure to express a possible situation: 'IF YOU CAN'T WRITE...'.

• IT'S A CONTRACTION

  ➔ Contractions

  ➔ The phrase 'IT'S' is a contraction of 'IT IS', showing how two words can be combined.

• YOU'D BETTER SLOW DOWN

  ➔ Modal verbs (should, had better)

  ➔ The phrase 'YOU'D BETTER' suggests a strong recommendation or advice.

• LEARN TO DIAGRAM A SENTENCE

  ➔ Infinitive phrases

  ➔ The phrase 'TO DIAGRAM' is an infinitive that expresses purpose.

• YOU SHOULD NEVER... WRITE WORDS USING NUMBERS

  ➔ Negative forms

  ➔ The phrase 'YOU SHOULD NEVER' indicates a strong prohibition.

• I HOPE YOU NEVER USE QUOTATION MARKS FOR EMPHASIS

  ➔ Subjunctive mood

  ➔ The phrase 'I HOPE YOU NEVER USE' expresses a wish or hope regarding someone's actions.

• BETTER FIGURE OUT THE DIFFERENCE

  ➔ Imperative mood

  ➔ The phrase 'FIGURE OUT' is an imperative, giving a command or instruction.