– English Lyrics

Lyrics & Translation

[English]

the community, wearing said pants. All I need is $1,500.  

- Stop! Whoa! $1,500? How many  pounds of clothes are you getting?  

- Look, it's for one pair of amazing dries  van Noten silk brocade pants… super cute.  

And yes, it's a lot, but my investors will get  something in return. For $5, they will get the  

feeling of goodwill in their heart. - Pbbt! - For $10, I'll send them a selfie in the  

new pants that they bought. - For $20,  I'll send them a selfie without pants.  

Nobody is gonna give you money for the stuff  you offer. "Goodwill in their hearts"? This  

is the Internet. We're animals. - You're right. I have an idea.  

Camera up. And action! I'm sure a lot of you are  

probably thinking, "look at this spoiled,  indulgent, clueless girl." - Well, I am.  

- And you're also probably thinking, "God, I  want to slap her!" Well, guess what. You can!  

For $500, you can come here and slap  my spoiled, clueless face. And cut!  

Pretty good? - Genius. Now here,  take the camera. I want to film  

my video to raise $500 to slap you. - ♪ Hey I just met you, And this is crazy  

So here's my number Oh, so call me maybe ♪ ♪ And all the other girls Try to chase me But  

here's my number So call me maybe Boom.♪ - I usually begin with  

a soft hummer. - How are we gonna get out  

of this? Let's just call it what it is: a cult. - I'm not going anywhere, until I see what's in  

those bowls. I'm hoping for fettuccini. - I hope it's not fettuccini, because I  

really Don't like cream-based sauces. - Do you mind? This is important for  

Lady Marmalade. She has fibromyalgia! - Fibromyalgia and seasonal depression?  

You really won the dog lottery. - All right everyone. You may  

gently bring your Energy back into  the room whenever you feel ready.  

And do not fear. Before the night is over, each  of you will have a chance to make love with me.  

- And the rest of the satay just came up. - Before the sunrise, our moons will  

unite. - Well, I'm guessing her moon's not waxed. - Max, I haven't had sex in… - You don't have  

to whisper, girl. We all know  it's coming up on two years.  

- That you hear? I yelled "Help" into your  face for an hour yesterday! - Say what?  

- Max, I don't want a relationship. I just  wanna break me off a piece of that Kit Kat  

bar. You know, sexually. - Don't drag Kit Kats into  

this. - Who got Kit Kat? - We're not open. We've had  

a terrible tragedy. Well, not us, but  a new friend of ours had a gruesome  

accident, and we are just devastated. - You wouldn't be that cruel. - Relax,  

I could never be that cruel. But Max could. - Well, well, well.  

Look who it is Pierre, your lover, J. Petto! - He's not gay. He had a girlfriend named Lulu.  

She was a--she was a courtesan in the court  of a French king. They broke up over a brief  

flirtation she had with Yvette. And I know they're not alive!  

- Now, what do you say we stick to the original  no-strings deal? 'Cause if you don't, Max will  

show you what "no strings" really means. - Do it! Go! Bring it! I can always  

re-string him. I'm a master of my craft. - Yes, we thought you'd say that. So you leave  

us no choice. Max: - What? I--I'm not changing  my mind. And I'm coming back with the police.  

- Oh, I wouldn't get the cops involved… Now  that your boy here is in a... Compromising  

situation! -  

How dare you! - And she does not like  

the feel of a condom! - You two are sick!  

- Hey, we don't judge. We think  whatever two consenting dolls,  

or maybe three consenting dolls do-- And it's gonna be bad 'cause  

he's a grower, not a shower. - And once a few of these pics are posted online,  

there goes your children's party business. Now, call it quits,  

and you can delete these pics. - Fine. Yes. Okay, you win. You win, you win.  

- Oh, we're not falling for your word  again. If you want your doll back--  

For the last time, he is not a doll! - Bring us a notarized letter saying  

you release Max's Homemade Cupcakes of  all further legal action, and we'll give  

you back Pierre, perfectly intact. - Minus his virginity, of course.  

- Holy crap! I think God is here for Bob. -  

Is that chopper for you?  - You bet your ass it is.  

I'm going to Malibu. Susan Sarandon  is ordering pizza. We're doing molly.  

- Bob. Will I ever see you again? - Slow down, pussycat. I'm  

just getting out of something. - That man sure knows how to make an  

exit. Not from life, but from everything else. - Well, well, look who it is, Stuck-Up and  

Stuck-Up Two: The Legend Returns. - Max, we gotta go. My life  

can't end wearing grey. - What up, ladies? Last night  

you're hanging with the homies, and today,  boom! You just happen to be working here.  

- That's friggin' convenient. - I know, right?  - Very friggin' convenient. - I know, right?  

- We just have to show them who's  boss. You know, like we do with the  

mouse who lives in our toaster. - So what, we're gonna scream  

and then spray Windex at them? - Yo! See this scar? Knife fight  

with five Catholic schoolgirls over a slushie. So unless you want some of what I gave Virginia,  

Stephanie, Laquetia, Latoya,  and the one in the wheelchair,  

I'd stay clear. - This is just a  

misunderstanding. Rico's not interested in me. - Well, he seemed pretty into you last night.  

- Huh, yeah, but that's before she talked. Come on, we are not interested in your men at  

all. Not at all. I mean, come on. - What's that mean? You're saying  

something's wrong with them? - No, she's not saying that It's  

just-- It's just what? - We're  

lovers. -  

Are you the guy? - I don't know. Are you  the girl? - So far, this musical sucks.  

- What's the password? - Cronut.  - Was "1234" already taken?  

- Meet us by the door. Which is code for,  "Meet us by the door." - Which is code for,  

"You're really bad at code." - Hi. Caroline Channing plus  

one. - I don't see you on the list. - Really? That's weird. We should be  

on the list, we're always on the list. - Max, we're not on the list. - We're  

not? I'm going to kill my assistant. - Oh, I know. It might be under Deangelo  

Jefferson. - Come on, girls. Don't waste  my time. - I'd like to see a manager.  

- There's no manager. It's a prison. - This is such amateur hour. Give me 50 bucks for  

the door guy. - Are you seriously trying to bribe  an officer of the law while inside a prison?  

That's a federal offense. - Is it? - Probably.  Look, I should have you thrown out for even  

suggesting it. We do not accept bribes. - Actually Joe, silent D-T-H, I can bake.  

- But how well? My girlfriend and  I are obsessed with French pastry.  

- Oh. Girlfriend as in "girlfriend," or  as in two ladies of a certain age at a  

Cineplex splitting one thing of popcorn? - Everything you just said offended me.  

- Yeah, that's my brand. And the fact that  you didn't cry, about splitting a popcorn  

makes me think it's the first kind of girlfriend. - How are your macaroons? - Oh, mhm. My macaroons?  

Great. A little bit of French heaven. - What is your name? - Max. M-a-x.  

Nothing is silent ever. - So I gather. - No, no… just do what I say, and stay calm. I  

need you to empty your purse into the trash bag. - I can't Believe this is happening just when I  

saved $2. Max, I can't die, and  I certainly can't die in this  

ugly uniform. I mean, it looks good on you. - Are you having a heart attack? - I'm peeing.  

- What do you mean? - I'm really freaked  out, and I'm peeing. I can't stop!  

- Just stop, stop! Clench it. - Okay. No, can't.  

- Step out from behind the counter. Sorry sir, I can't. - Why? - Well,  

um, I'm peeing. - Still? - Out of the way girls. I'll  

- Ooh, you would make a great stripper. - I  know, I just have a fear of success thing.  

- Can we turn the music off?  'Cause I'm getting disoriented and,  

in all honesty, a little turned on. And I cannot be a latent bisexual with  

everything else already on my plate. - Want to see my duck? - Praying that  

wasn't an auto-correct. - Look at all the practice  

ducks I've drawn: The American Wood duck.  The Harlequin duck. The Spot-Billed duck. A  

mallard. A mallard. A mallard, a mallard… - Caroline, take is batteries out. - This  

beauty's gonna win me the stamp contest.  All I have to do now is color it.  

And then sit back and plan my victory party.  Guess which stamp I'll use to send the invites?  

- Gay flag? - No, a mallard! - My sexts are so lame. Why  

can't I be disgusting? - There's a burrito stuck to  

the side of your dresser. You're there! - "Can't wait for you to put your butt  

"on top of... my butt in my pants"? Jeez,  thanks for the nice break from being horny.  

- I am not proud of how not slutty it is. - Now, give me back my phone. It hasn't  

had its shots. - Sent. - What!? "Your testicles are two glistening  

Cadbury Eggs, and Mama's got a sweet tooth." - This mama's got puke in her mouth.  

- I cannot believe you'd send something so  disgusting. You are dead to m--He likes it!  

- You want to turn a man on? You call Oleg. - What kind of sick stuff are you into?  

- Max, I like you a lot. - Then why  aren't you laying on top of me somewhere?  

Look, I want us to get to know each other before  we have sex to be able to trust each other,  

keep each other's secrets. - Fine, just tell me your safe  

word and let's go. Mine is "potsticker." - I'm serious, 'cause when we do have sex,  

you're gonna find out that I'm not… well, I'm not  

regular down there. - Um… "not regular"?  

So does it look something like… This? - No. And bigger. - Uh, so something  

like… This? - No, it doesn't have a face. - Max, something's wrong in the kitchen. Not  

here. Nothing's wrong here. Just come with me. - Uh well, can I see you tomorrow? - Sure, but at  

least be late. Give me something to work with. - I heard what he said. What the heck does  

"not regular down there" mean? - I don't know. All I know is,  

it doesn't mean this. - Cute outfit, Han. Like one of those male  

strippers from "No Thunder Down Under." - This is so heavy! Oleg,  

what do you have in here? - Socks! Really Han, It's like  

your arms are only there for decoration. - To be fair, Oleg's socks probably have  

some pretty heavy loads in them. - Oleg, what is all your junk doing  

out here? Do I actually smell girls screaming? - I bring things up, Sophie says "No," I bring  

them right back down. Is there  no elevator up in this bitch!?  

- Oleg, you forgot your painting,  and this one's a definite "No."  

- Sophie, I haven't gotten a "Yes" yet, aside from  the quickie we had up against the bathroom sink.  

- Not such a quickie. They locked me out  and I had to eat my lunch in the truck.  

- Then what was the point of me renting  a moving truck? I mean, besides the rough  

sex we had up against the sides? - They locked me outside on the  

side of the road for that one. - Sounds like a trailer for a Liam  

Neeson movie. - Finding "Liam Neeson". - Good luck. That guys been taken more  

times than my virginities. - All right, I got a signal  

and a warning growl from a coyote but  I talked to Jennifer Lawrence's people,  

and she and I are gonna FaceTime in 20 minutes. - If you still have a face. Where's Bruno?  

- Maybe he's back there in the  sauna like a little hot dog.  

- Where's my big boy? Um, seriously, where's my  big boy? You didn't leave the door open, did you?  

- No. I'm sure he's in here somewhere. - Bruno? - Bruno? - Bruno?  

Bruno? - Finding "Brüno." - Mother, stop! You cannot talk to Max like that.  

She is a good girl, and a friend, and… - Wha...? - Okay yes, you caught me. I smoke weed! Yes,  

I'm living the fast life in New  York City just as you feared!  

- Wha…? - But I only toke  

up when I am under a lot of pressure. See, mother, I don't have a girlfriend.  

June is a prostitute I paid to pretend, so you  would think we were happy as you and father.  

- Give me that. - Wha…? - I too am Under a lot of pressure son. The truth  

is your father and I are no longer together. He had an affair with another woman who has  

big fake ones like her. - Max's breasts are real,  

Mrs. Lee. - Mm. God bless. - Mine are too, in case you were  

wondering. - I wasn't. -  

- Okay. - Okay. - Wait, Bobby. Wait,  wait, Bobby. - No, Bobby… Bobby, wait!  

- I'm going, I'm going. I'm  moving as fast as my big misshapen  

head'll go. - Caroline, you're unraveling! - Bobby, come back! Bobby no, I'm serious! Aah! I  

can't believe this is happening! And  Bobby's hair is still sticking up!  

- Two weeks and Nothing! I really thought  he'd text. I also thought Grown Ups 2  

should have won the Oscar. Still got it. Come on.  

- Wait, before I lose the rest of  my self-esteem… - Tell that to the  

wall you're currently straddling. - Let me just check my phone one  

more time to see if he-- Nope. Self-esteem gone. - I'm afraid to jump. Jump, whore, jump! I sound  

like my mom teaching me how to swim. - I did it, I did it! - That was like,  

two feet. I've snorted lines longer. All right. Just another Tuesday.  

Going all Bling Ring in Jesus' backyard. - There. That's his bedroom window. I know 'cause  

we had to close it, since I'm kind of loud. - Oh, what are you like during sex? - Oh,  

it's stuck and I can't fit my boobs through there.  I can barely fit them through the Holland Tunnel.  

- Fine. I'm going in. Finally, having  no boobs pays off. Lift my legs up.  

- Okay, but your legs in the air kind of got  you here to begin with. - Uh-oh. - What oh?  

- I don't remember him having a floral  duvet. Or a bedside toilet. Or a dog.  

Pull me out! Pull me out! - You've got to read my book.  

I have a whole chapter on pulling out! No, no, no, no, no! Oh, stop licking me.  

- Buster? Buster? - Someone's coming!  

- Someone's coming or getting licked…  Maybe you are in the right apartment.  

- Get out of my house! Get out of my house! - No, no no. This is a big mistake. - Ben,  

call the cops! We got another crack addict here! We don't have crack here! We don't have crack  

here! And tell your friends! -  

That's enough of all your chatter!  It's time to listen to the Mad Hatter.  

- I think it's the same guy as before! - Oh… Wow. He's a genius!  

- You filled this room with illumination, but  you are not done with this situation. - What  

rhymes with "kick in the crotch"? - To proceed and be done with me,  

you must answer these riddles three. - Y'all know I'm 80, right?  

- One: Take it out of the package, It goes in your  mouth. Chew it too long, and it will go south.  

- It's what Earl's doing right  now. - Oh, Lord, am I peeing?  

- No, he's chewing gum. "Take it out of  the package. It goes in your mouth. Chew  

it too long and it'll go south." Gum. - Exactamente! That wasn't too hard.  

Put your answer onto this card. - And this is my plus-on, Eunice.  

AKA Super Nintend-Ho. We never met till today. - Isn't he the cutest? He saved me from a burning  

village, and then he asked me to marry him. - Actually, my avatar asked her avatar  

to get married… in the game. - Congratulations. That's not sad.  

- I'm gonna go get my Pixel Pie a  drink. It's the least I can do for the  

man who pulled me from a roaring inferno. - Hurry back! I should have let her burn!  

- Death Bitch! - I knew you seemed familiar.  

You look like that new character,  Death Bitch. Your booth is right  

over there. It's the most popular video  game here… after "Girlfriend Simulator."  

- Oh my God, Max. Look. Han's gamer friend  nerd is carrying you away! And I do not  

like where he has his hand! Ned, stop! - Yeah. At least buy me drink first.  

- So… you gonna give me a drink? - Are  you gonna give me a reason you're here?  

- Are you gonna give me a reason you're  so beautiful? - Are you gonna give me a  

reason… okay fine, I'll give you a drink. I just got over you. What do you want from  

me? - I want to be with you. Oh, please! You think you can  

just come in here in your suit and be  like, "Uh, I wanna be with you, Max."  

You say you love me, you say you can't live  without me, and then you go and live without me!  

- You, sir, are unreliable. - We can answer a few questions. - Were  

there any signs at all that something of  this nature was going on in your building?  

- We jut hope they bring this sick freak  in our building to justice so that we can  

return to work at Max's Homemade Cupcakes. - Get on the door. Here he comes. - Who  

probably be easier if took those heels off. - Sir, that is never going to happen. We are in  

Manhattan. I may be under it but I'm still in it. And when they pull out my half-eaten body,  

I will be wearing my heels. Mariah!? - Whhat, I only have  

one. What are you gonna do? Jump back  over and do something and whatnot?

Key Vocabulary

Vocabulary	Meanings
slap /slæp/ B1	verb - to hit someone with the flat of your hand noun - a blow with the flat of the hand
spoil /spɔɪl/ B2	verb - to diminish or destroy the value or quality of
raise /reɪz/ B1	verb - to lift or move to a higher position verb - to collect or obtain (money)
offer /ˈɔːfər/ B1	verb - to present or proffer (something) for (someone) to accept or reject as so desired noun - an expression of readiness to do or give something if desired
hope /hoʊp/ A2	verb - to want something to happen or be true noun - a feeling of expectation and desire for a particular thing to happen
unite /juːˈnaɪt/ B2	verb - to come or bring together for a common purpose or action
whisper /ˈwɪspər/ B1	verb - to speak very softly using one's breath rather than one's throat noun - a softly spoken word or words
drag /dræɡ/ B2	verb - to pull (someone or something) along forcefully, roughly, or with difficulty
terrible /ˈterəbl/ B1	adjective - extremely bad or serious
Cruel /ˈkruːəl/ B2	adjective - willfully causing pain or suffering to others, or feeling no concern about it.
sick /sɪk/ A2	adjective - affected by illness adjective - mentally disturbed
judge /dʒʌdʒ/ B1	verb - to form an opinion or conclusion about
scar /skɑːr/ B1	noun - a mark left on the skin or within body tissue where a wound, burn, or sore has not completely healed and fibrous connective tissue has developed.
convenient /kənˈviːniənt/ B1	adjective - fitting in well with a person's needs, activities, and plans.
wrong /rɒŋ/ A2	adjective - not correct or true; incorrect.

Key Grammar Structures

• All I need is $1,500.

  ➔ Present simple for habitual actions or states.

  ➔ The sentence uses the present simple to express a current need.

• For $5, they will get the feeling of goodwill in their heart.

  ➔ Future simple with 'will' for promises or offers.

  ➔ 'Will' is used here to promise a feeling in return for money.

• I'm sure a lot of you are probably thinking, 'look at this spoiled, indulgent, clueless girl.'

  ➔ Present continuous for thoughts or opinions.

  ➔ The present continuous is used to describe ongoing thoughts.

• You can come here and slap my spoiled, clueless face.

  ➔ Modal verb 'can' for ability or permission.

  ➔ 'Can' is used to indicate permission or ability to perform an action.

• I'm not going anywhere, until I see what's in those bowls.

  ➔ Present continuous with 'until' for a condition.

  ➔ The present continuous with 'until' shows a condition that must be met before an action.

• Before the sunrise, our moons will unite.

  ➔ Future simple with 'will' for predictions.

  ➔ 'Will' is used here to predict a future event.

• I don't want a relationship. I just wanna break me off a piece of that Kit Kat bar.

  ➔ Present simple with 'wanna' for informal speech.

  ➔ 'Wanna' is a contraction of 'want to' used in informal speech.

• We're not open. We've had a terrible tragedy.

  ➔ Present perfect for recent past actions.

  ➔ The present perfect is used to describe a recent event with ongoing relevance.