– English Lyrics

Lyrics & Translation

[English]

I'm gonna do that. I'm going to call him

up and I'm gonna ask him out.

>> I can do that. Ask him out. How you

doing? [laughter]

>> Hi Joshua. It's Rachel Green from

Bloomingdales.

Yeah. Um I was just wondering if you um

if you um

left your wallet at the store today.

Okay. Now, this one is rare. This one is

medium. Well, now go, go, go. Hey,

Phoebe. Hey. Hey, have dinner. DINNER

WAS GOOD. JUST SAY HI. NOW, I'M GOING TO

GO.

WELL,

>> hello there.

I didn't see this on the menu.

Tim, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, this is

Tim, my new sue chef.

>> Oh, so you're Monica's boss?

>> Actually, she's my boss. Sue is is

French for under.

>> Ah, I sue stand.

>> Hey, Tim. I need a calamari and a Caesar

salad. And um could you give me the

pesto? Yeah.

>> You you made pesto?

>> Yes, I did.

>> Would you say your pesto is the best?

>> I I don't know, but I I would say it's

pretty good. [laughter]

>> I still need the calamari and the Caesar

salad.

>> I like your necklace.

>> Oh, I made it myself.

>> You are so talented.

>> Well, it's no pesto. [laughter]

>> All right. All right. Let's just cut to

the chase. Okay. You're single. You're

single. He gets off work at 11:00.

She'll be waiting for your call. I'll

give him your number if I could just get

ONE CALAMARI AND ONE CAESAR SALAD.

>> I did not yell. I am not putting a

dollar in the jar.

>> I'm sorry about last night and I really

want to make it up to you.

>> No, you you know there's no need to make

it up. How? [laughter]

Well, I was thinking maybe a um a

[clears throat] romantic dinner with um

candles and wine and then uh maybe going

back to my place for um dessert.

>> That sounds perfect. [laughter]

>> What's this? You get us a couple of

beers.

>> How How are we going to mess with them?

>> Well, you could use your position, you

know, as the roommate, and then I would

use, you know, the strongest tool at my

disposal, my sexuality.

>> Hello, children.

>> Hey.

>> Hey. Watch, learn, and don't eat my

cookie.

>> Hey.

>> Hey.

Wow, that jacket looks great on you.

>> Really?

>> Yeah. The material looks so soft. Oh,

hello Mr. Bicep.

Have

>> you been working out?

>> Well, I try to, you know, squeeze

things. [laughter]

[laughter]

>> You okay?

>> Well, if you really want to know, I Oh,

I can't tell you this.

>> Maybe it's me. You can tell me anything.

Well, actually, you're the one person I

can't tell this to and the one person I

want to the most. [laughter]

>> What's going on?

>> I think it's just, you know, that I

haven't been with a guy in so long and

you know how sometimes you're looking

for something and you just don't even

see that it's right there in front of

you sipping coffee.

>> Oh, no. Have I said too much?

>> Okay, let me just get changed and we can

go to dinner.

>> We're always have to dress up his body.

I'm not telling you have to see it on

TV.

>> You don't know, do you?

>> No. Couldn't care less.

>> Hey, good scene, man. Hey, you, too. All

right.

>> What? You weren't in it. [laughter]

>> Oh, uh, Cash. This is my friend Rachel.

Rachel. Cash. Cash. Rachel.

>> Hi.

>> How come I haven't seen you here before?

>> Well, Joey probably just thinks I'll

embarrass him. Yeah. He thinks I'm some

some kind of a soap opera nut,

>> which I'm not. I'm not. [laughter]

Although, I do know that your uh your

favorite ice cream flavor is butter

pecan.

And uh and that your your dog's name is

Wall-E.

>> Oh, look at that. I'm just stroking your

arm.

>> Here we go. There we go.

>> Oh, really? Bye, Cash. Say hi to Wall-E.

I just love the beginning parts of

relationships, you know? You just like

can't keep your hands off each other.

>> I know. It is the best. Oh god. So So

how long did that last for you and

Chandler?

[laughter]

>> What? It's still going on.

>> Come on. Seriously, when did it end?

>> I am serious. I mean, we're we're all

over each other all the time.

>> Okay. Well, you know where you are

better than I do. I was just curious.

>> Why don't you just calm down, Phoebe?

All right.

Now, why don't you just get all your

facts before you run around telling

everybody that, you know, you're the

only hot couple.

God, I woke the beast. Um,

>> I was wrong. Obviously, I just I

misspoke. It's okay.

>> It is okay. I mean, as long as you know

that Chandler and I are also very hot

and fiery. I mean, just as hot as you. I

mean, our flame. Woo! It is on fire.

>> Hey, Monica, here's your broom back.

>> You are so cute.

>> Your situation?

Oh, well, it's complicated. I don't

actually have a boyfriend, but um

>> And can I have your number?

>> I'm sorry. No.

>> Okay.

>> Oh, sure.

>> Oh my god. You're giving your real

number.

>> Okay. Thanks. I'll give you a call later

tonight.

>> Bye.

>> Bye.

>> Wow. So, that's great. You, Bill, Ross,

and Emma are going to be so happy

together. [laughter]

>> What were you thinking?

>> I don't know. He was cute and he liked

me. It was an impulse.

>> But what about Ross? What about your

moment? Don't you want to talk to Ross

about it?

>> No. No, cuz I know exactly how the

conversation's going to go. Hey, Ross.

You know, I think we had a moment

before. Yeah. [clears throat]

Me, too.

Well, but I'm not sure I really want to

do anything about it. Yeah,

[clears throat] me neither. H. Well,

should we just continue to live together

and not really tell each other how we're

really feeling?

>> Yeah, that works for me.

>> Come in.

I've been waiting for you.

[laughter]

>> HI. I JUST WANT OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD.

MICHAEL. Oh my god. Okay. I'm sorry.

Sorry. I I was um I was taking a nap.

Since when do you take NAPS IN THAT

POSITION?

OH GOD, MONICA, TELL me you were waiting

for a guy. Please tell me you're waiting

for a guy.

>> Yes. Yes, I was a guy from work.

I'm seeing a guy from work. Ha.

[laughter]

That cute waiter guy from your

restaurant. The one that looks like a

non-threatening ray, Leotaa.

>> Uhhuh. [laughter]

That one. You know what? Just give me a

second. I'll be out of your hair. I'm

just going to grab a jacket. When I get

back, I want every little detail.

>> Maybe that's him.

>> Okay. Um [laughter] Okay. Um

it's just Joey and Ross.

>> Why aren't you guys at the movie?

>> Well, we were, but Ross was talking so

loud on his phone, they threw us out.

>> I had to talk loud because the movie was

loud. [laughter]

>> He's talking to London.

>> Oh my god. Hey, did he get in touch with

Emily?

>> Well, no, not yet. He's calling everyone

on her side of the family, hoping that

someone will help him get in touch with

her.

>> I I don't care if I said some other

girl's name, you prissy old twit.

>> Ross, way to suck up to the family.

[laughter]

>> I'm so glad you guys are all here. My

office finally got wrinkle-free fax

paper. I mean, maybe you were on the

right track with that whole, you know,

spontaneous thing. I mean, women really

like that.

>> Really?

>> Yeah. I mean, you know, I mean, if it

were me, I I', you know, I'd want you to

>> what?

>> I don't might catch me off guard, you

know, with like a really

good kiss,

you know, really sort of um soft at

first

and then maybe um brush the hair away

from my face

>> and then look far into my eyes

in a way that lets me know something

amazing is about to happen.

Mhm.

[laughter]

>> And then I don't know, then you'd you'd

pull me really close to you so that so

that I'd be pressed up, you know, right

against you

and um it would get kind of

sweaty

and uh and blurry.

and that it's just happening.

>> Thanks, R. Good night.

[laughter]

>> I'm quitting. I just helped an

81year-old woman put on a thong and she

didn't even buy it.

I'm telling you, I'm quitting. That's

it. I'm talking to my boss right now.

Yes, I am. Yes, I am. Yes, I am. Yes, I

am. Yes, I am. Yes, I am. Okay, bye.

Call me when you get this message.

>> Oh, Mr. Waltham, I uh really need to

talk to you.

>> In a moment, please. I'm in the middle

of a task and you have a customer.

>> Hi.

>> Hi. I'm Joshua.

>> Hi, I'm Rachel Green. What can I do for

you, Joshua?

>> Well, uh, I need a whole new wardrobe.

My wife, well, my exwife.

>> Oh, I'm so sorry.

Anyway, she burned all of my clothes. I

got away with two things. This suit and

what turned out to be a uh skirt.

>> At least that's a great suit.

>> Yeah, but it wasn't much fun dropping it

off at the dry cleaners in the skirt.

[laughter]

>> So, I need everything down to underwear.

So, if you're willing, I'm uh I'm all

yours.

Okay,

>> Rachel, you needed to speak to me.

>> No, no, that wasn't me.

>> Well, we should get started. Let me show

you my underwear.

>> The selection of underwear that we

carry. [laughter]

>> Oh, I'm sorry. It's this way. It's this

way.

>> It's this way. Sorry. [laughter]

[gasps]

Would

you like to go to a basketball game with

You know, it's funny basketball because

I happen to have tickets to the

[laughter]

um

who likes the Nick. [laughter]

>> What do you think? Oh, well, as a single

woman who is available,

I think you look great.

>> Huh? Huh?

>> Yep. Oh, yeah. You look great.

[laughter]

>> Oh, yeah. Yeah, this looks great.

>> Um, so you like it?

>> I do. I do. I love it. In fact, I think

I'm going to wear it home.

>> Great.

>> All right. Well, thank you so much for

all your help.

>> Sure.

>> Well, I guess uh I guess this is it.

>> Thanks. Maybe I'll see you in the

spring, you know, with the uh for the

bathing suits.

>> Well, well, you don't want to do that

now. [laughter]

>> That's okay. I

>> Anyway, hopefully I I'll see you around

sometime.

>> Basketball.

[laughter]

>> Sorry.

>> I uh I have two tickets to the Knicks

game tonight if you're interested. just

as a thank you for this week.

>> Wow, that would be great.

>> Really?

>> Yeah, that would be fantastic. My my

nephew is crazy about the Knicks.

>> This is fantastic. Thank you so much,

Rachel.

>> Good morning.

>> Hi.

>> Okay, for next [music] time, what do you

say?

>> I have an extra ticket. an extra ticket.

Not two tickets. I have an extra ticket.

[laughter]

>> So, the first time you asked a guy out,

he he turned you down. [laughter]

>> He didn't turn me down. He's at the

game, isn't he? I got the date. I'm just

not on it.

>> Oh, yeah. I let him check out my kitchen

floors.

>> A 98. I deducted two points because

you're not wearing your chef's hat. And

that is a section 5 violation.

>> Um, look, Larry, honey,

um, I wrote the book on section 5 and I

know that you don't have to wear your

hat unless you're in the kitchen.

>> And where is your hat?

>> It's in the kitchen. I'll go get it.

>> Ah, there's the two points. [laughter]

>> Hey, you should really read that book

you wrote.

[cheering]

>> Wow. You saw the hat in the kitchen and

you knew she'd have to go in there

hatless to get it.

>> Hey, glad you could make it. Thanks for

coming.

>> Oh my god, Kyle. Louder.

>> I love you. [laughter]

>> Hey, that's why I didn't invite you. You

have to calm down. All right, just go go

get yourself a drink or something.

>> Oh, yeah. That's what you want. My

inhibition's lowered.

>> Hey, Joey said no autographs. But if

she's getting one, I want one, too. to

Monica and none of this best wishes

crap. I want love.

>> Okay. Actually, uh, man, Matthew was was

giving me his phone number.

>> Oh, man. If I had known I was coming to

this party, I never would have gotten

married. [laughter]

>> It's nice to meet you, Rachel.

>> Nice to meet you.

>> Call me.

>> We will.

>> Look at you with all the guys.

>> Guess you forgotten all about Joey.

>> Yeah, well, I guess I guess I have

forgotten about Joey. And clearly you've

forgotten about Chandler.

Please. Chandler's the love of my life.

Oo, leather pants. Have mercy.

All I really want is one great night.

Just sex, you know, no strings attached,

no relationship, just with someone that

I feel comfortable with and who knows

what he's doing for just one great

night. I mean, is that really so hard

to find?

>> [laughter]

>> So, how how was your day?

>> Good. I uh I saw a pretty big pigeon.

[laughter]

>> Well, I got to get up early and it's

almost 7:00. So,

>> I got I got to throw it in my room, too.

>> Good night.

>> Good night.

>> I CAN'T DO IT. I DIDN'T ASK YOU TO

[laughter] DO IT.

>> You're Rachel.

>> YOU'RE JOEY.

>> YOU'RE MY FRIEND. IT'S

>> RIGHT BACK AT YOU.

>> PLUS, it would be wrong and weird and

and and and bad

>> and so bad. I don't even know what

you're talking about because I didn't

ask you to do anything.

>> I know.

[laughter]

>> You want to do it?

>> No.

>> Me neither. I'M JUST TESTING YOU. HEY,

WELL THAT'S THE END OF THIS

CONVERSATION.

>> THIS CONVERSATION NEVER HAPPENED.

>> HAPPENED.

>> GOOD NIGHT.

>> Get back in there.

>> Then are you going to dump Jason? Well,

yeah, because I have to break up with

someone and Okay. So, Jason is

sensitive, but now so's Vince. Plus,

Vince has the body, you know, so

it's really just about the math,

>> Jason.

>> Yeah. Come on in,

[laughter]

>> Phoebe, you sounded kind of serious on

the phone. Is uh is anything wrong?

>> Nuh-uh.

>> Who sold a story to Archie Comics?

>> Oh my god, that's so great. Oh wow.

[laughter]

>> YOU'RE A PUBLISH WRITER. I WISH I HAD A

PRESENT FOR YOU.

>> Wait a minute.

My last kid could get more.

[laughter]

>> You want to share it?

>> Okay, you guys. Here's Danny. Watch.

Just watch this.

See? Still pretending he's not

interested.

[laughter]

>> Okay, he's coming over. Just pretend

like we don't know him. We've forgotten

who he is.

>> Hey guys. Hey.

[laughter]

>> Oh, Danny.

>> Danny. You know Rachel. You know, she

she's nice. She's not bad to look at,

right? Thanks, man.

>> Of course. Do you want to go out on a

date with her? Monica,

[clears throat]

>> absolutely. Is Friday. Okay.

>> Friday is perfect. She can't wait.

>> On the date, I will be able to talk to

her directly, right? [laughter]

See,

>> okay. What the hell was that? You know

what? Don't answer me.

>> I have a date with Danny. [laughter]

So, what' you guys think?

[laughter]

>> HEY,

hold on. Please show it to your mom.

>> Mommy. Mommy.

>> So, what did you think?

>> Well,

that was um okay.

>> It wasn't the best. That was one of the

worst things ever. [laughter]

And not just on TV.

>> What are we going to tell him?

>> Well, the the lighting was okay.

>> Oh, no you don't. You got lighting last

time. Lighting is mine.

>> I have costume.

>> Oh, great. That means I'm stuck with So,

we were watching you in there and you

were sitting right here. Whoa.

>> What are you going to do, Feb?

>> I don't know. I don't know. I can't lie

to him again. Oh, no. I'm No, I'm just

going to press my breasts up against

him.

and say nothing.

>> Uh-huh. Yeah, that's right. [laughter]

>> Wow. Well, my folks really liked it.

>> So, what did you guys think?

[laughter]

>> It wasn't that good.

>> I can't believe you came back.

>> Don't say anything.

I don't want to speak. I don't want to

think. I just want you to take me and

kiss me and make love to me right here,

right now.

>> Rachel,

>> Rachel,

>> what?

>> You missed the exit.

>> I make you take an oath?

>> No, I made myself take one. Yeah. No

fooling around with clients. And um

always be prepared. [laughter]

Yeah, that one's actually from the Boy

Scouts, but it just makes good sense.

[laughter]

>> Why don't you just give them to somebody

else?

>> No, I can handle it. No, I'm a

professional.

>> Oh, Fibs, is that a new ankle bracelet?

>> Well, and you got a pedicure. Your feet

are all dressed up

>> because that's the only part of you he

can see when he's on the table.

You're going to do some feet flirting.

>> I don't know what you're talking about.

[laughter]

>> Then how do you explain the tow ring?

>> Because it's Arabian princess day at

work. Okay, leave me alone.

>> Hey, what do you say we uh move this

onto the likes of the couch?

>> I say cheesy line, but okay.

>> [laughter]

[laughter]

>> What's the matter?

>> I I I don't know. I'm sorry. I I don't I

don't know why I did that. Okay. Okay.

Sorry.

I'm sorry again. I don't know. I don't

know what happened. I must be nervous.

>> I don't get it. Chandler loved it.

>> I promise. I promise. I promise I won't

do it again. I really do. I promise that

this is going to be great.

>> Okay.

>> Okay.

>> [laughter]

>> Hey,

>> hey, got champagne.

>> Yes, ma'am. READY TO POWER THROUGH?

>> EXCELLENT. OKAY, stick it in the ice

bucket. The phone is off the hook. And

in the interest of powering through.

[laughter]

>> Okay. Sexy. Sexy. Very sexy. Sexy.

All right, let's do it.

>> Okay, you're scaring me a little bit.

>> Oh, get over it, soldier. We got to do

this.

>> Okay.

>> Okay. Haha. You like that, huh?

>> You like that? Let's kick this into high

gear, huh?

>> Yeah, baby. I'll show you how we do it.

>> No, no, no. You You need me in my

misters.

>> What? [laughter] Oh my god. I'm so

sorry.

>> Joey, [laughter]

are you okay?

>> Soldier down.

>> Hey, Chandler.

>> Okay.

>> And your horoscope says, "On the 5th, a

special someone is going to give you a

gift."

>> Oh, well, thank you in advance.

>> Oh, but the 12th brings a lover's spat.

>> You were going to make a joke about my

special present.

Why would you do that?

Oh, wait. And on the 19th, a secret

crush announces itself.

>> Hey guys. Hey.

>> Oh my god. IT'S JOEY TRIBION OF MAC AND

CHEESE.

[applause]

>> OH, that's right. It's your first day.

So, are you psyched to fight fake crime

with your robot sidekick?

>> Am I psyched? The lead in my own TV

series? I've dreamed about this for

years.

Why? Have I not been preparing?

[laughter]

>> No, Joey, you're going to be great.

>> But I got to act like a robot, thieves.

And And I don't know anything about

technology. I can't even use chainless

computers except to find porn.

[laughter]

And And that's only cuz it's right there

when you turn it on.

>> I think our lover's spat will start a

little early this month. I'll be

waiting.

>> Wanted to.

>> Interesting.

[laughter] Anyway,

um probably worked out for the best.

>> Yeah, sure.

>> Okay. In about 10 seconds, you're going

to see him kiss me.

>> And in about 5 seconds, you're going to

see why.

>> Ross, did I ever tell you about the time

that I went backpacking through Western

Europe?

[laughter]

Hey, get ready to see some begging.

>> OH, YOU CAME ON to Ross.

>> What?

>> Now I'm so happy. [laughter]

>> What are you talking about?

>> You use the Europe story.

>> That's the magic story you use when you

want to have sex. [laughter]

>> How do you know about that story? How do

you know about that story? [laughter]

>> I heard it from my friend Irene who

heard it from some guy.

>> Some guy.

[applause]

>> No. No. She told me that his name was

Ken Adams.

[cheering]

>> Ken Adams.

>> You know, that night meant a lot to me,

too. And it wasn't cuz I was in a bad

place or anything. It just meant a lot

to me cuz you're really hot.

[laughter]

Is that okay?

>> That's okay.

>> And I'm cute, too.

>> And you're cute, too.

>> Thank you.

>> All right. I got to go unpack.

>> Okay.

Bye.

I'm still on London time. Does that

count?

>> Oh, that counts.

>> Oh, good.

>> What does yours say, peeps?

>> Um, wow. All right.

Wow. Yay.

Oh, I'm going to meet a guy and really

soon and he's going to be the man of my

dreams.

Probably not the guy I had a dream about

last night.

Oh, wait a second, you guys.

For the last couple of weeks, I've been

seeing that guy everywhere I go. We take

the same bus. We go to the same

bookstore. Same dry cleaner. Maybe he's

the tea guy.

Did you see that? He totally checked you

out and he is so cute.

>> Mine is a picture of the village people.

What does that mean?

>> Oh, hello.

>> Oh, it's you. I see you everywhere.

>> I'm Jim. Jim Nelson.

>> Oh, Jim. Jim Nelson. I'm Phoebe Phoebe

Buffet. [laughter]

>> Certainly have been seeing a lot of each

other lately. We have Maybe we'll be

seeing each other at dinner tomorrow

night. Say around 8:00.

>> Well, maybe we will.

>> Oh,

isn't it funny how we kept running into

each other? It's as if someone really

wants us to be together.

>> Someone does. Me.

>> O, witty banter. Well done.

Good.

>> So, tell me a little bit about yourself.

>> Oh, okay. Well, I'm a masseuse and I

used to work at this place. Do you like

to party?

[laughter]

>> I I I like I like parties.

>> You're wild, aren't you?

[laughter]

>> Yeah, I guess a little.

>> That ain't no thing. I'm wild, too.

>> So, um anyway, [laughter]

I I I've lived in New York somewhat

wildly, I guess, for um well, since I

was 14.

I'm sorry I'm staring.

>> It's just that you have the most

beautiful eyes.

>> Stop it.

>> And your breasts.

[laughter]

>> Okay,

[clears throat] look. Um, you're coming

on a little strong, but I'm going to

give you the benefit of the doubt

because seems the universe really wants

us to be together. So, why don't we just

start over, okay? And you can just tell

me about yourself.

All right.

>> Okay.

>> I write erotic novels for children.

[laughter]

>> What?

>> They're wildly unpopular.

>> My god.

>> Oh, also you might be interested to know

that I have a PhD.

>> Wow, you do?

>> Yep. Uh, pretty huge.

>> Hey,

sh. Go back to sleep. I have to go home.

>> Oh, god. This was amazing.

>> It really was.

>> You've learned some new moves.

>> Yeah. Well, uh, this guy at work gave me

sex for Dummies as a joke. Huh?

>> Who's laughing now?

>> I know.

>> You want some help with that?

>> Oh, no thanks. I got it. Oh, no, I

don't.

>> Whoa. [laughter]

You

>> okay?

>> Yeah.

Stood up too fast. Got a little head

rush.

>> The heat

[clears throat]

>> and and the humidity. [laughter]

>> That's a uh that's a tough combination.

>> [laughter]

>> Do you want to come in for some

lemonade?

>> Like you wouldn't believe.

[laughter]

>> Wow, this is a great place.

>> Thank you.

>> Just make yourself comfortable.

>> Gotcha.

So, this place is really my

grandmother's.

>> I got it from right when she moved to

Florida. Otherwise, I could never afford

a place like this. [laughter]

>> So, if the landlord ever asks, I'm an

87y old woman who's afraid of a VCR. You

thirsty?

>> Oh, you bet I am. [laughter]

>> Okay, here's your penis.

>> [music]

>> Oh my god. What the hell are you doing?

>> You said you want to come in for some

lemonade.

>> So,

were you just going to give me lemonade?

>> Yeah.

>> Cover yourself up.

>> Oh, right. Sorry.

>> I don't believe this. I mean, someone

asked you in for lemonade and to you

that means they want to have sex.

>> Um, usually. Yeah. Well, not just

lemonade, iced tea, sometimes juice.

Sorry, I just thought you liked me. Such

a jerk.

It's okay.

I suppose it could happen to anyone. Not

anyone I know, but

by the way, I can still see it.

[laughter]

We can't go now. It looks like Rachel's

going to put on a skit. [laughter]

>> Oh my god. Have you lost your mind?

>> No. No. [laughter] No. No. No. No. I am

finally thinking clearly.

My lucky dress wasn't working out too

well for me, but for 4 years, this baby

[music] never missed. Rachel, Rachel, I

cannot I can't let

Actually, I kind of want to see what

happens.

Hey,

>> nice uh costume.

>> Oh, yeah. Well, I wanted to give Emily a

big American goodbye cheer. So, okay.

>> Ready? Okay. Give me an E.

>> E.

>> Give me an M.

>> M.

>> GIVE ME AN I.

>> I.

>> GIVE ME AN L.

>> L.

>> Give me a Y.

>> Y. What do you get,

Emily?

Emily.

>> Okay, that's me as a cheerleader. Tada.

>> All right,

>> fine. I'm fine. I just lose the tooth.

It's no big deal. I have a dentist, you

know. Open up to my side. Excuse me.

>> Okay. What do I do now? What do I do

now?

>> I think you're done.

>> Okay. Time to take off the bra.

[laughter]

>> Uh, that was really uh great,

>> but I I got to take off. Actually,

>> take off.

[laughter]

>> All right, come on. Let's go get your

coat.

>> Okay.

>> Rachel is my girlfriend.

>> Oh my god. Joey Trivani from Days of Our

Lives. just walked in here.

>> Ra, he's a friend of ours.

>> You are friends with Dr. Drake Remor?

[laughter]

>> It's kind of hard to be friends with

Drake because of his busy schedule and

the fact that he's not real. [laughter]

>> Hey. Hey. Or I could bring my keyboard

here sometime.

>> He's coming. HE'S COMING OVER. JOEY.

>> I know. Here. Here.

>> Oh,

no. [laughter] This is my friend Rachel.

We went to high school together. Hey,

>> I

[laughter] I love you on that show.

>> I watch you every day. I mean, when you

took out your own kidney to save your

ex-wife, even though she tried to kill

you.

>> Well, it's always nice to meet the fans.

>> She's not crazy, is she?

>> So, uh, how are you doing?

>> Show me something, Joey.

>> [laughter]

>> I just fell right off the couch there.

>> Yeah, you did.

>> I'm okay.

>> Okay, let me here you go.

>> Whoops.

>> Let me ask you a question.

>> Yeah.

>> When was the last time

>> someone told you [music] just how

beautiful you are?

>> Wow.

I can't I can't feel my hands.

[laughter]

>> Come on. Come here.

>> Huh?

>> Huh?

>> [laughter]

>> Bie, come here. I want to show you

something in the bathroom.

>> Oh, Monica, grow up.

>> [laughter]

>> Hey, what do you got behind your back?

>> Nothing. Just Just something I want to

get B Phoe's opinion on for Valentine's

Day.

>> You don't want my opinion?

>> Not really. [laughter]

>> Come on. I'm your older brother. Ask me.

>> Oh. Oh, okay. Big brother. Um, which one

of these do you think would make your

little sister look hotter so your best

friend would want to do her?

>> The red one.

>> [music]

>> So, what do you think?

[laughter]

>> I've still got it.

>> Why did you get me this?

>> What is it,

Yelling, bleeding,

dilating.

[laughter]

Oh, the dilating.

Is this the video of the baby being

born? Sweetie, this is Phoebe's. Why

were you even watching it?

[laughter]

>> I thought maybe you got me porn for

Valentine's Day. [laughter]

>> Chandler, if you thought I was going to

get you porn for Valentine's Day,

you were right. [cheering]

Apparently, it's it's about a young girl

who moves to the big city, you know, in

search of stardom, but ends up having

sex with a lot of guys.

>> Yeah, they got four stars. Oh, wait a

minute. Those aren't stars. [laughter]

>> Anyway, you want to take a look?

>> Well, I'm not really in a sexy mood

right now.

>> Hey, what's going on?

>> Well, remember the first time you saw

Jaws? How long it took to go back in the

water?

>> [laughter]

>> We can't let this tape wreck Valentine's

Day.

>> You don't know. You didn't see it.

>> Child birth is it's a natural thing.

It's beautiful.

>> Oh, be beautiful. Really? Oh, really?

You think this is beautiful?

[screaming]

>> Oh my god. No wonder my mother hates me.

[laughter]

>> See, honey, THERE'S

>> DON'T TOUCH ME.

WHAT ABOUT YOU? I mean,

>> you have any fun, you know, fantasy type

things?

>> No.

[laughter]

>> Come on, you got to have one.

>> Nope.

>> Ross, you know what?

>> If you tell me, I might do it.

[laughter]

>> [clears throat and cough]

>> Okay.

Um, did you ever see um Return of the

Jedi?

[laughter]

>> Yeah.

>> Do you remember the scene with um

[laughter]

Jaba the Hut?

Well, Jabba had as as his prisoner um

Princess Leia.

[laughter]

>> Princess Leia was wearing this um gold

bikini thing.

[laughter]

It was pretty cool.

The other night, Rachel and I are in bed

talking about fantasies, and I happened

to describe a particular

Star Wars thing.

>> Princess Lay in the Gold Bikini.

>> Yes.

>> Yes. Well, wow. Well Well, that that was

easy. [laughter] Okay, you you go.

>> Okay.

>> Okay.

>> Okay. Okay. Well, you know, you know

when you're in bed with a woman

>> and uh

you know you're fooling around with her

and you get all these like mental images

in your brain, you know, like El

McFersonson or that girl at the Xerox

place

>> with the belly button ring.

>> I know. And then all of a sudden your

mom pops into your head [laughter]

and you're like, "Mom, get out of here."

you know, but of course like after that

you can't possibly think of anything

else and you can't you know stop what

you're doing. So it's kind of like

you're

you know

>> you know [laughter]

you don't know

mom

you're telling you're telling me about

about your mom. What is the matter with

you?

>> You said I said share not scare. Go sit

over there.

[laughter]

Okay, here we go.

>> I am Jabba's prisoner and you

have a really weird look on your face.

[laughter]

What is it? Did I get it wrong? Did I

get the hair wrong? Wait, did you just

picture it differently? What? What? No,

>> no, no. It's um It's not you. It's um

It's

[cheering]

>> [laughter]

>> Well, what is it? Come on, sweetie.

You're kind of like freaking me out

here. [laughter]

>> I hate Chandler. That bastard ruined my

life.

>> I'm glad you're back. I really need your

help.

>> Oh, why? What's up?

>> Well, I have an audition for this play,

and for some of it, I have to speak

French, which according to my resume,

I'm fluent in.

>> Joey, you shouldn't lie on your resume.

>> Yeah, you really shouldn't. By the way,

how was that year-long dig in Cairo?

He's okay.

>> I did not know you spoke French.

>> You're so sexy.

>> Well, so will you help me? I really want

to be in this play.

>> Sure.

>> Seriously, stop it. I want to jump on

you. [laughter]

>> Hello.

>> Well,

hi. Yes. I'm sorry. The models are

actually down the hall.

>> Actually, I'm here about the assistant

job.

>> Really?

>> Okay. Well, then. All right. We'll just

have a seat there. Um, so what's what is

what's your name?

>> Tag Jones.

>> Uh-huh. Go on.

[laughter]

>> That's it. That's my whole name.

>> That's your whole name. Okay. Of course.

Okay. Well, let's let's just have a look

see here.

>> I know. I haven't worked in an office

before, and I really don't have a lot of

experience.

>> Come on now. What are you talking about?

You got three years painting houses,

[laughter]

two whole summers at TGI Fridays.

>> It's lame, I know,

>> but I'm a goal oriented person. Very

eager to learn.

>> Okay, just hold on a second, please.

[laughter]

>> Sorry, it's for human resources.

Everybody has to do it. Would you just

stand up, please? [laughter]

>> Rachel Green's office.

Tag. Hi. Who is that?

>> Nobody. I was just practicing.

[laughter]

>> Hi.

>> Hi. Rachel Green's office.

>> You must be Hilda.

[laughter]

>> Yeah. This is Tag Tag. This is Phoebe.

Phoebe, can I see you for a second?

>> Phoebe.

That's a great name.

>> Oh, you like that? You should hear my

phone number. Okay, I'll be right back.

>> So, you hired yourself a little treat,

did you? [laughter]

>> All right. I know. I know how it looks,

Feebs. But I'm telling you,

>> but but you know you cannot get involved

with your assistant.

>> Yes, I know that. I know that. And I

know that hiring him was probably not

the smartest thing that I've ever done,

but I'm telling you, from this moment

on, I swear this is strictly

professional. Yes.

>> Hey, Rachel.

>> Hi.

>> Cute assistant. What's his story? Is he

like

>> gay?

>> Yeah.

>> Does it even work without my sexy voice?

>> I like it.

Dunther kiss me

[laughter]

[cheering]

>> and I'm still waiting for my paper

machine.

[applause]

Thank you my babies.

>> Rachel.

>> Yeah.

I don't know if you heard about what

happened between me and Phoebe the other

day.

>> No.

>> Well, we kissed. I I didn't initiate the

kiss, but but I also didn't stop it. And

I've been feeling guilty.

[laughter]

>> Okay.

>> So, um,

are we cool? [laughter]

>> Okay.

>> I knew you'd understand.

Oh. Oh.

Whoops. Oh, I seem to have dropped my

fork. [laughter] Let me just bend over

and get it.

[laughter]

Oh god. [laughter]

>> Okay, enough. This is This is not going

to happen.

>> Oh, come on, Ros. I'm miserable here.

Come on. You started this. Now you

finish it.

>> Come on, West. Make love to me.

[laughter]

>> You know what?

>> What?

>> Forget it.

>> Oh, wow. What? Now, Ross, you're not

going to talk? How on earth will you

ever annoy me?

Oh, wait a minute. I know.

[snorts]

I mean, you think the damn jalapeno

would have cleared up your sinuses, but

no, that's not enough.

>> What are you doing?

>> I'M GETTING THAT BABY OUT OF YOU.

[cheering]

>> Oh god.

>> Oh, I know.

>> Oh no,

>> I think my water just broke.

>> I AM GOOD.

>> [cheering]

>> OKAY. OKAY. Uh okay. I got I got the

pillow. Uh got the bag. You got the

keys?

>> I got the keys.

>> Okay. Okay. [laughter]

>> We're having a baby.

I didn't uh really have time to read

this part of the books, but do you think

do you think we have time?

>> Not so much.

>> Okay,

>> this is nice.

>> I know.

[laughter]

>> You need both hands for that?

>> Yeah, I kind of do.

Well, how's this?

[laughter]

[laughter]

>> Oh, look at you two holding hands. Is

this getting serious?

>> I I you know,

>> have you not talked about it yet? Am

[laughter]

I making you uncomfortable?

>> If you were bigger, you'd hit me, huh?

[laughter]

>> Sorry. I'm sorry. It's obviously way too

early for us to be having that

conversation.

>> Is it?

>> Maybe not. Is it? [laughter]

>> Hey, when I got divorced, I I didn't

think I'd feel this way about someone

for a really long time.

>> Then again, I didn't think I'd meet

someone like you. And this may be crazy

soon, but I want you to have this.

>> No, not that's gum. Anyway,

five bucks. I love it when that happens,

you know? It's like, no, no one's there.

>> Keep digging.

>> Oh, sorry.

>> Oh, it's a key. To be honest, I think

I'd prefer the $5.

>> It's to my apartment. Oh, wow.

Big step for Phoebe and Mike.

>> Yeah. Look, and I don't want you to feel

like you have to give me your key just

because I want to.

>> Oh, thank God.

>> Yeah.

Well, I'm starting to think I'd never

meet someone that, you know, I wanted to

do this with.

Here you go.

>> This is cool, huh? It

>> really is.

>> I know it. It is amazing. These little

things open doors. Okay. All right. So,

now you go.

>> No, I don't want to tell you.

>> Why not?

>> Cuz it's embarrassing.

>> More embarrassing than shiny raspberry

lip balm. [laughter]

>> I didn't say raspberry before, did I?

Just Just tell me, Rick. Just tell me.

>> Okay. All right. Stand up.

Well, when we're at the door, I lightly

press my lips against his

and then move into his body just for a

second.

And then I make this sound.

Okay. I know it doesn't sound like

anything, but I swear it works.

>> Yeah. Well, yeah, that would work. Yeah.

[laughter]

All right, I got to go to bed. Honey, I

had such a wonderful time.

>> Yeah,

>> me too.

>> Hey, Rachel, get me perfume. Okay. And

Joey, could you get me a bottle of wine

and glasses?

[laughter]

>> It'll be great. You just make her think

you want to have sex with her and it'll

totally freak her out.

>> [laughter]

>> Okay, listen. How far am I going to have

to go with her?

>> Relax. She's going to give in way before

you do.

>> How do you know?

>> Because you're on my team and my team

always wins.

>> At this.

[laughter]

Just go get some.

Go.

>> Okay, honey. Now, I'm going to try to

listen from right here.

>> Okay.

>> Okay. Oh, wait.

>> Good idea.

>> Yeah. Wait. Don't give away the farm.

Okay. [laughter]

Fibby

>> Chandler,

>> come on in.

[laughter]

>> I was going to.

>> Um, I brought some wine. Would you like

some?

>> Sure.

[laughter]

>> So, here we are.

nervous.

>> Me? No. You?

>> No. I want this to happen.

>> So do I.

[laughter]

>> Oh, you're uh you're going I'm not

without you, lover.

>> So

this is my bra.

It's very, very nice. [laughter]

Well, come here.

I'm very happy we're going to have all

the sex.

>> You should be. I'm very bendy.

[laughter]

>> I'm going to kiss you now.

>> Not if I kiss you first. [laughter]

>> [laughter]

>> Well, I guess there's nothing left for

us to do but but kiss. [laughter]

>> Here it comes.

Our first kiss.

>> [laughter]

[cheering]

>> OKAY. OKAY. OKAY. OKAY. YOU WIN.

[laughter]

>> I can't have sex with you.

>> And why not?

>> Because I'm in love with Monica.

>> You what? [cheering]

>> That's right. I love her. I love her.

>> I love you, Monica.

I love you too, Chandler. [screaming]

[cheering]

>> I just I thought you guys were doing it.

I didn't know you were in love.

>> Dude,

hats off to Phoebe. Quite a competitor.

[laughter]

>> And may I say your breasts are still

short. God.

>> [music]

Key Vocabulary

Vocabulary	Meanings
rare /reər/ B1	adjective - not occurring frequently; unusual.
wallet /ˈwɒlɪt/ A2	noun - a small flat case for carrying money, cards, and other small items.
dinner /ˈdɪnər/ A1	noun - the main meal of the day, eaten in the evening.
sue /suː/ B1	verb - to take legal action against someone.
calamari /ˌkæləˈmɑːri/ B2	noun - an Italian dish consisting of fried squid.
pesto /ˈpestəʊ/ B1	noun - a sauce originating in Genoa, Italy, made from crushed basil, pine nuts, garlic, Parmesan cheese, and olive oil.
single /ˈsɪŋɡəl/ A2	adjective - not married or in a romantic relationship.
necklace /ˈnɛkləs/ A2	noun - an ornament worn around the neck.
talented /ˈtæləntɪd/ B1	adjective - having a natural aptitude or skill for something.
chase /tʃeɪs/ B1	verb - to pursue or follow someone or something.
romantic /roʊˈmæntɪk/ B1	adjective - concerning or conducive to love.
disposal /dɪˈspəʊzəl/ B2	noun - the action or process of getting rid of something.
roommate /ˈruːmmeɪt/ A2	noun - a person with whom one shares a room.
impulse /ɪmˈpʌls/ B1	noun - a sudden strong and unreflective urge or desire to act.
squeezing /ˈskwiːzɪŋ/ A2	verb - to firmly press something.
moment /ˈməʊmənt/ A2	noun - a very brief period of time.

Key Grammar Structures

• I'm gonna do that. I'm going to call him up and I'm gonna ask him out.

  ➔ Future tense with 'going to'

  ➔ The phrase 'I'm going to' is used to express a future action that is planned or intended.

• Hi Joshua. It's Rachel Green from Bloomingdales.

  ➔ Present simple for introduction

  ➔ The present simple tense is used here to introduce oneself in a formal or professional context.

• You you made pesto?

  ➔ Past simple question

  ➔ The past simple tense is used to ask about a completed action in the past.

• I still need the calamari and the Caesar salad.

  ➔ Present simple for ongoing need

  ➔ The present simple tense is used to express an ongoing need or requirement.

• I'm sorry about last night and I really want to make it up to you.

  ➔ Present simple with 'want to'

  ➔ The present simple tense with 'want to' is used to express a desire or intention in the present.

• I think it's just, you know, that I haven't been with a guy in so long and you know how sometimes you're looking for something and you just don't even see that it's right there in front of you sipping coffee.

  ➔ Present perfect for past actions with present relevance

  ➔ The present perfect tense is used to describe past actions that have a connection or relevance to the present.

• I'm starting to think I'd never meet someone that, you know, I wanted to do this with.

  ➔ Present continuous for developing thoughts

  ➔ The present continuous tense is used to describe thoughts or feelings that are developing or changing in the present.

• Here you go.

  ➔ Present simple for offering

  ➔ The present simple tense is used here to make an offer or give something to someone.

• I'm quitting. I just helped an 81-year-old woman put on a thong and she didn't even buy it.

  ➔ Present continuous for an action in progress

  ➔ The present continuous tense is used to describe an action that is happening now or is in progress.

• I'm starting to think I'd never meet someone that, you know, I wanted to do this with.

  ➔ Conditional sentence type 1

  ➔ A conditional sentence type 1 is used to talk about possible situations and their results in the future.