– English Lyrics

Lyrics & Translation

[English]

I've had a really good time tonight you

know I rarely connect with someone this

much on the first

date me

neither I I've had a really good time

too you

know are you going to eat that

bread oh I I just like the

smell you make me

laugh would you like to move over to the

couch

[Music]

mhm maybe I'll just turn down the lights

a

little how about all the

way

okay wow cool poster or should I say gy

poster so uh yeah where were

we are those your teeth

oh you you can see them huh yes they're

insanely white I I did that for

you what's the matter with you what's

the matter with me you've got a black

light It's

1999 oh my God God the pages are stuck

together

[Laughter]

Chandler oh my God she she made half an

English trifle

and half a shepherd's

[Applause]

pie yeah this is so good that I'm going

to go enjoy it on the

balcony so I can enjoy the view whilst I

enjoy my

dessert I'm going to call my friend Mary

and tell her how good this is from

Monica's room I'll help you

dial and I'm going to go into the

bathroom so I can look at it in the

mirror as I eat

it okay now what was that all about is

it does it not taste good let me try

this no

[Laughter]

no oh

gone so

good maybe chanler has some

left it tastes like

feet I like

it are you kidding what's not the like

custard good Jam good meat

good so a bird just grabbed it and

then and then tried to fly away with it

and and then just dropped it on the

street yes but if it's any consolation

before the bird dropped it he seemed to

enjoy

it hi hey I hear that you and Joshua are

going out to dinner with Ross and Emily

and I think that's I think that's really

cool yeah Rael I think you're handling

that really

well handling it even handling it

there's nothing to handle you know maybe

I would have a problem with this if it

wasn't for me and

Joshua you know they're not going to get

married

anyway what come on they rushed into

this thing so fast it's ridiculous I

mean they're going to be engaged for

like what a year and somewhere along the

way one of them is going to realize what

they've done and they're going to call

the whole thing on

I'm telling you you're going to be

dancing at my wedding before you're

dancing at theirs yeah well I don't

dance at

weddings why not because weddings are a

great place to meet women and when I

dance I look like

[Applause]

this hey man

hey so what are you guys doing four

weeks from today nothing nothing nothing

I

am

free great because Emily and I are

getting married in a

month what yep in a month yeah you mean

you mean 30 days yeah from now

yeah that's great where's Rachel she and

Phoebe took the stripper to the

hospital did you know Chandler kiss

Rachel what when when was this

1987 the weekend you guys visited me at

school oh my God that's wild yeah but it

was like a million years ago so it

doesn't matter well it matters to me why

because the night you kissed Rachel was

the night I kissed Rachel for the very

first time you kissed her that night too

two guys in one night wow I thought she

became a sled after she got her nose

fixed seriously where did this happen

Okay after you told me she was passed

out in our room I went in there to make

sure she was all right she was lying on

my bed all buried in people's coats well

I I went to kiss her on the forehead you

know but it was so dark I accidentally

got her lips I I started to pull away

but then I I felt her start to kiss me

back it was only for a second but it was

amazing and now now I find out that you

kissed her first oh wait what bed did

you say she was on mine I'm pretty sure

I put her on my bed no she was

definitely on my bed why would I kiss a

girl and then put put her on your

bed well then who was on my bed oh oh

oh no no

no you were under the pile of coats I

was the pile of

coat oh my

God you are my midnight mystery

kisser you were my first kiss with

Rachel

you were my first kiss

ever what did I marry into we're going

to split it you take half and I take

half well that's not fair you've already

had some well oh then not you know what

I think Monica would be very interested

to know that you called her cheesecake

dry and Meely what do we use to split it

okay all right pick a half okay well

this side looks bigger M uh

there's more crust on this side yeah so

maybe if I measure oh for God sake just

pick a piece all right pick that so the

smaller

piece okay there you go enjoy your half

my friend but that is it no sharing no

switching and don't come crying to me if

you eat your piece too fast

oh all right you got to give me some of

your piece oh no no no switching no

sharing don't come crying to

me I may just sit here and have my cake

all day just sit here in the hallway and

eat

[Music]

my oh y look there's a piece that

doesn't have floor on it stick to your

side come on now

all right what are we having took care

of everything thanks a lot

co-host wait a minute take care of

everything there's there's plenty of

things for you to do uhhuh like

what

cups Cups you're giving me cups and ice

cups and Ice oh I get to be in charge of

Cups and Ice all

right fine okay I will be in charge of

Cups and Ice wait a minute I can get ice

at the restaurant I got it

[Music]

mine hey check it out um cup hat cup

Banner cup Chandelier and the thing that

started it all the

cup great job with the cups

feves why don't you just go out with

her and did you notice the ice look we

have it all we have crushed cubed and

dry watch

a

mystical I it no one's eating my tus and

finger food because they're all filling

up on Fe snow cones there snow cones

snow

cones you go go thank thank you

[Music]

my God these pants I'm burning

up come on she wants to snuggle now what

is she trying to kill me it's like a

volcano in

here are you hot

no okay let just be me then

that was just the pants on the

couch um hey do you do you mind if I use

your bathroom oh go ahead thanks

a hey my favorite part's coming up

okay oh my

[Music]

God hello Joey it's Ross I need some

help uh Chandler's not here well you can

help

me okay listen I'm in Elizabeth's

bathroom

nice no I I got really hot in my leather

pants so I took them off but they must

have shrunk from the the sweat or

something or or my legs expanded from

the heat I but I I can't get them back

on Joe I

can't that is quite a situation

uh do you see any like powder what

powder yeah yeah I have powder good good

okay sprinkle some of that on your legs

it'll absorb some of the moisture and

then you can get your pants back on yeah

hold yeah hold on

they're not coming on

man um you see any uh oh

Vaseline I I see lotion I have lotion

will that work yeah sure throw some of

that on there hold on

Ross you okay they're still they're

still not coming on man and the lotion

and the powder have made a

paste

really uh what color is

it what difference does that make well

I'm just if the paste matches the pants

you can make yourself a pair of paste

pants and you won't know do

Joey do you have a minute dude what am I

uh Rachel's here so good luck man let me

know how it works

out oh Joey I have such a problem uh

well your timing couldn't be better I am

putting out fires all over the place

today Ross um you've been in there for a

long time I'm starting to get kind of

freaked out all right I'm coming

out hey can you turn the lights

off no let's just leave the lights

on oh my

God I had a problem all right I took the

quiz and it turns out I do put career

before men

get up what you're in my seat how is

this your

seat cuz I was sitting there but then

you

left well it's not like I went to

Spain I went to the bathroom you knew I

was coming back what's the big deal sit

somewhere else the big deal is I was

sitting there last so it's my

seat well actually the last place you

were sitting was in there

so you guys you know what you know what

it doesn't matter because you both have

to go get dressed before the big vein in

my head pops so all right Ross I just

have to do one thing really quickly it's

not a big deal get

up all right fine you know what we'll

both sit in the chair fine with

me I'm so

comfortable me too in fact I think I

might be a little too comfortable all

right okay look we have 19 minutes okay

Chandler I want you to go and change

okay and then when you come back Joey

will go change and he'll have vacated

the chair okay okay all right fine I'm

going when I get back it's chair City

and I'm the guy who's sitting in a

chair all right you will notice that I

am fully dressed I in turn have noticed

that you are not so in the words of AA

mil get out of my chair deal

hole

okay what are you doing well you said I

had to give you the chair you didn't see

anything about the

cushions the cushions are the essence of

the chair that's right I'm taking the

essence

he'll be

back there's nobody in the

room where's my underwear who whoa whoa

whoa come on come on what you took his

underwear he took my Essence okay hold

on Joey why why can't you just wear the

underwear you're wearing now cuz I'm not

wearing any underwear

now okay um then why do you have to wear

underwear tonight it's a rented tux okay

not to go commando on another man's

fatigue well then it looks like

somebody's going to have to give

somebody back his

cushions okay you hide my clothes I'm

going to do the exact opposite to

you what are you what are you going to

show me my clothes hey

opposite is

opposite he's got nothing

okay buddy boy here it

is you hide my clothes I'm wearing

everything you

own oh my

God that is so not the opposite of

taking somebody's

underwear look at me I'm Chandler could

I be wearing any more

clothes maybe if I wasn't going commando

m

yeah I'll tell you it's hot with all

this stuff on I uh I better not do any I

don't know

lunges I'm going to stop you right there

Linda okay does it look like this is my

first time huh now I want four twos and

I want them all on my

back okay

wait a minute there's two sets of

nozzles which one is it which which

which which one is it [ __ ] son of a

[Music]

[ __ ] dude it's Chandler let me in go

away I don't want to see anybody I know

I went to the tanning place and the same

thing happened to me you have to let me

in

really did you count

mississippily you you're not tan no I

just had to get a picture of

this I'll see you later pass the cheese

please my God you can't even look at me

can you

nope hey it's BBE we can talk to

BBE no I'm I'm too depressed to talk

I'll give you $1,000 to talk to

us hey you guys what do what do you

think about making that beach trip an

annual thing

no all right that's it you guys what

happened out there what we took a walk

nothing happened I came back with

nothing all over me

me come on what happened

Joey all right no Joey we sore we'd

never tell they'll never

understand we have to say something we

have to get it out it's eating me

alive Monica got stung by a jellyfish

all

right all right

I got

stung stung

bad I couldn't stand I I couldn't walk

we were 2 miles from the

house we scared and

alone we didn't think we could make

it I was in too much pain and I was

tired from digging the huge hole

[Applause]

and then Joey remembered

something I'd seen this thing on the

Discovery Channel wait a minute I saw

that on the Discovery Channel yeah about

jellyfish and how if

you

e you peed on

yourself e you can't say that you don't

know I I thought I was going to pass out

from the pain anyway I I tried but I I

couldn't been that

way

[Applause]

so that's right I stepped

up she's my friend and she needed

help if I had to I'd pee on any one of

you

only uh I

couldn't I got the stage

fright I wanted to help but there was

just too much pressure so so I uh I

turned to

chanler Joy kept screaming at me do it

now do it do it do it

now sometimes late at night I can still

hear this screaming

That's cuz sometimes I just do it

through my wall to freak you out time my

shoe so you go ahead I'll catch up okay

okay come on let's not running let's

[Music]

go you guys I'm telling you when she

runs she looks like a cross between

Kermit the Frog and the $6 billion man

Monica had such a crush on him that she

used to kiss his poster every night

before she went to bed oh I used to do

that too did you also have his album

It's Not Easy Being

Green

Oh So Pho Run's weird

huh yeah yeah you know what and and I

know she's going to want to run again I

just don't I don't know how to get out

of it I mean I live with her why don't

you just be straight with her tell her

the truth you're right you're right I

should just tell her the truth hey hey

hey F Monica trip me I don't think I can

ever run again

ever why why would you do that I don't

know Rachel I'm sorry that I hurt your

ankles ankle we'll see

[Music]

hi oh yeah uh-huh it's me I saw you grab

your running shoes this morning and

sneak out you lied so you could run by

yourself no no Phoebe no I was no you

know what I was I was actually just

checking to see if I could run and I can

please Rachel I am not an idiot no wait

baby hey baby can I talk to you for a

second sure okay

um

I Phoebe look I just wanted to say that

I'm sorry okay I handled the situation

horribly and and I should not have lied

to

you so what should you have done well I

I should have told you the truth uhhuh

which

is well you know the reason that I

didn't want to go running with you is

because um well you know the way that

you run is just a

little so well it's embarrassing people

were looking at us like we were crazy

why do you care because they're

people but people that you don't know

and will never see again yes but still

they are people with

eyes well I didn't get embarrassed

running next to

miss but oh okay no no I can see why

running with me would be embarrassing to

you yeah okay you're uptight what I I am

not up

to listen I'm not uptight

man that's okay Rachel I'm not judging

you that's just who you are me I'm more

free you know I run like I did when I

was a kid because that's the only way

it's fun you know I mean didn't you ever

run so fast you thought your legs were

going to fall off you know like when you

were like running toward the swings or

running away from

Satan the neighbor's

[Music]

dog I'm so sorry you were right this

feels great see and you don't care if

people are staring it's just for a

second cuz then you're gone God I mean

it's amazing I feel so free and So

Graceful hey look out for the

horse we should all get dressed up and

go to have champagne at the plaza oh

okay but I I I can't stay too long I got

to get up early for a commercial

audition tomorrow and I got to look good

supposed to be playing a 19-year-old

what so when you said get up early did

you mean

1986 you guys don't think I look

19 oh 19 wait thought you said

90 okay everybody let's go let's go okay

so sup

dude take whatever you want just please

don't hurt

me so you playing little PlayStation

huh that's

whack

PlayStation is whack

Su with the whack PlayStation

s h come on am I 19 or what yes on a

scale from 1 to 10 10 being the dumbest

a person can look you are definitely

19 come on man really how old young

you're a Manchild okay now go get

changed because everybody's ready and

please oh please keep my

underwear oh thanks

now I can pass for 19

right yes you can pass for 19 really yes

seriously seriously seriously no okay

you can play your own age which is

31 I'm

30 Joey you are not you're

31 oh

crap time we're in a virtual snowstorm

of confetti here in Time Square it gets

bigger and go

kids and then the peacock bit

me please kiss me at

midnight you seen Sandy o uh I don't

know how to tell you this but uh she's

in Monica's bedroom getting it on with

Max that scientist

geek oh look at that I didn't know how

to tell you

everybody the ball is ding

what the ball is

droing it'll be midnight and the moment

of joy is upon us looks like that no

date pack thing worked

out everybody looks so happy I hate that

not everybody's happy hey

Bobby Happy New Year

you know I uh just thought I'd throw

this out here I'm no math whz but I do

believe there are three girls and three

guys right here

M oh I don't feel like kissing anyone

tonight I can't kiss anyone so I'm

kissing everyone no no no you can't kiss

Ross that's your brother oh yeah perfect

perfect so now everybody's going to kiss

but me all right somebody kiss me

somebody kiss me it's midnight somebody

kiss kiss me it's midnight it's

[Music]

[Applause]

one

beeps you know what I'm thinking oh

okay

how it's been so long since you've had

sex you're wondering if they've changed

it no although now that's what I'm

thinking all right so what were you

thinking well I was thinking that you

gave the guy Such Great Haircuts I

thought maybe you'd like to do mine oh

no why not because I'm just I'm

incredibly anal and an unbelievable

control freak no you're not I know I'm

not but you are and I was trying to

spare your

feelings you know it's funny last time

Paula was here my hair was so much

shorter and cuter all right okay but but

you have to promise that you will not be

all like controlly and bossy and all you

know Monica about

it I promise all right let's see now

some of you are going to get cut and

some of you

aren't but I promise none of you will

feel a thing

[Music]

all right that's it I Quit what I didn't

say anything yeah but this isn't the

face of a person who trusts a person

okay this is the face of a person who

you know doesn't trust a

person I'm sorry sorry phoe it's just

well just a little shorter than what we

had discussed would you relax I know

what I am doing this is how he wears

it how who wears it Dei

Mo Demi Moore is not a he well he was a

he in Arthur and in

10 that's Dudley more I said I wanted it

like demim more oh oh oh my god oh oh my

God oh my God I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm

sorry which one is demor she's the

actress there was in disclosure and

decent proposal ghost oh oh she's got

Gorgeous

Hair how is

she it's too soon to

tell she's resting which is a good

sign how's the hair I'm not going to lie

to you Ross it doesn't look

good I put a clip on one side which

seems to have stopped the

curling well can we see you your hair

looks too good I think it would upset

her Ross why don't you come on

in hi

[Music]

hi so which one of your lucky boys is

Chandler uh that that's

me that's

me Joey trani big fan

so is that a bedroom yeah yeah right

over there all right whenever you're

ready that was

weird why would you go in the bedroom

I'm

waiting so she's a yep that's one naked

hooker so tonight tonight at a big

bachelor party yeah hey thanks for

giving me that girl's number no problem

say who's the party for for my husband

you hired your husband a

hooker she's a stripper no she's a

hooker is is that what they call

strippers sometimes when they're

hookers oh my god do I I can't believe

you did this now you absolutely sure

she's a hooker it's either that or she's

just the best most expensive date I ever

had all right all right maybe maybe you

should just ask her to leave why me hey

it's your bachelor party which is why

you should do it I don't want to you do

it you do it you do it all right rock

paper scissor if who has to tell the

[ __ ] to

leave

what I missed this I don't think we've

actually done this before no no no no I

I miss hanging out with you well we we

still hang out yeah not like we used to

remember you and me used to be

Inseparable you know now it's

like things are different well you know

things are different I'm I'm married now

yeah sure and hey don't get me wrong I

am so happy for you guys but I just I

miss hanging out just just us you

know yeah I miss that too okay I'll tell

you what for now on we'll make time to

hang out with each other you got it come

here

oh god listen I am this close to robbing

you

guys she's a hooker she's a hooker she's

a hi we spoke on the

phone what nothing nothing just Your

Overcoat sounds remarkably like Brent

musberger

check it out Giants

Cowboys you're watching a football game

at a funeral no oh it's the pregame I'm

going to watch it at the

reception you are a frightening

frightening

man oh no my new poo shoes oh I hope

they're not

ruined okay God what a great

day what

weatherwise I know

you the air the the

trees even though Nana's gone there's

there's something almost uh I don't know

almost

like I'm fine I'm

fine just just having my worst fear

realized

but and done oh my

God I didn't feel the thing hey are you

still looking for a job cuz you could

tweeze circles around that sadistic

[ __ ] at the

salon thanks you want to see what it

looks like yeah

yeah hey they totally match they look

great they look great are you

doing yeah yeah I think it looks pretty

good I was a little bit worried that I

was uh uncovering a birth mark right

about there but it turned out to be a

little piece of

chocolate well hey Chandler thank you so

much no problem listen uh that a pretty

girly hour we just spent we should

probably do something manly make up for

it

yeah gr my eyelash yeah your copy of the

bill we hope you enjoyed your stay oh we

did and you still have all your

lamps no I didn't factor in the room TX

oh dude don't worry about it uh I found

an unattended Maids C we're way ahead of

the

game oh my God what there's there's

something new in the

bowl look we have enough just walk away

no but I I want I want the pine

cones there's a forest right outside

it's not the same okay go

quick thank you for a delightful

stay my m full

candy so I just talked to one of the

duel writers today and what is duel Days

of Our

Lives anyway you're not going to believe

it my character is coming out of his

coma and not only that I'm getting a new

brain so great things are happening at

work and in your personal

life wait what do you mean you're

getting a new brain oh well they're

killing off one of the characters on the

show and when she dies her brain is

being transplanted into my

body what a brain transplant it's

ridiculous well I think it's ridiculous

that you haven't had sex in 3 and a half

months it's winter there are fewer

people on the

street who are they filling off uh

Cecilia Monroe she plays Jessica lockart

no no

she is so good at throwing drinks in

people's faces I mean I don't think I've

ever seen her finish a beverage and the

way she's slaps people all the time

wouldn't you love to do that just once

I'll do

it and she's been on the show forever

it's going to be really hard to fill her

shoes yeah yeah help me out here when

you when you come out of the brain

[Music]

transplant you are going to be her yes

but in Drake R's body

why is this so hard for you to get I

thought you were a scientist you see

Monica U actually I think she went to

the salon oh yeah oh she went to the

salon all right check it

[Applause]

out whose day just got

better

JK hey

ah what do you think I think I think I

can see your scalp

don't you just love it yeah yeah you got

shellfish in your

head it's size something you go

girlfriend you never said that in your

life have you not once I

found and listen to

this what do you know it's a treat for

the eyes and the

ears oh I can't wait for everyone at

work to see these

ow you go back to work tomorrow night

right yeah so if you want people to see

them then by definition you're not

having them taken out say at the break

of

dawn well if I had them taken out then I

wouldn't be able to do

this you like that right

[Music]

what are you singing It's Valero from

tin it's Ride of the Valkyries from

Apocalypse

Now see here's the thing the cornrows

are really a solution to your frizzy

hair problem and now that we're home you

don't have that problem anymore so if

you think about it I hate

them what you said you like them did I

let's refresh I believe what I said was

that I could see your

scalp fine say they don't like them

everybody else does again let's Journey

back as I recall what Rachel said was

she had never noticed the shape of your

skull before and

Joey well Joey didn't realize it was

anything

different you know what I don't care I

like it like this and and I'm going to

keep it you're just jealous because your

hair can't do

this

ow get yourself in the tooth and the eye

honey you've been in there for a long

time is everything

okay not

really I have a

problem

really what

happened well I was dancing around and

singing No Woman No

Cry

and I got

stuck you can't move at all oh I can

move if I untangle you will you please

get rid of the cornrows I guess

so some of these look a little afraid

yeah I I tried to gnaw myself

free got to pick a pocket or two

boys you've got to pick a pocket for

[Music]

lovely just lovely really thanks listen

Joey we definitely want to see you for

the call back on Saturday

excellent I'll be there okay and listen

don't forget to bring your jazz shoes

for the dance

audition my uh my agent said that it

wasn't a dancing part oh Joey all the

rolls got to dance a little

but believe me with your dance

background it'll be a piece of cake 3

years of modern dance with twiler

Tharp 5 years with the American Ballet

Theater hey everybody lies on their

resume okay I wasn't one of the zoom

kids

either well can you like dance at all

yeah I can dance you know

oh no no no

no what what is that sure it looks

stupid now there's no music

[Music]

playing uh Joey Joey

triani listen Joey I got a problem I

just got a call from my dance Captain

he's having a relationship crisis and

can't get out of Long Island so does

that mean the audition's off listen Joey

seeing as you've got the most

experience I want you to take these

dances and teach him the

combination what oh Joey come on it's

easy you know it's hand hand head head

up

out big turn here

ride step step and jazz

hands it says steep step and jazz

hands have

fun

bye all right let's do it

[Applause]

no no

no what was

that I know it's the best I could get

out of

them well people people people

people let's try it again and this time

let's everybody watch

Joey show him how it's done

count it off

[Music]

M didn't you say that there was um an

elevator in here uh yes I did but there

isn't okay here we

go okay go left left left you know what

there's no more left

left okay you uh lift it straight up

over your head straight up over your

head you can do it you can do it okay

you got it good good good yeah you got

it right you got it right you

got any chance you think the couch looks

good there Hey Joe what's up bad news I

watched the tape and passed along to my

bosses and they weren't

interested

oh sorry

man but uh you watch the tape yeah I I I

I liked

it but uh my bosses didn't go for it

stupid sons of

[ __ ] you didn't watch the

tape what of course I did look it's one

thing not to cast me but to lie to me

I'm not lying to you I watched it well

you lied again I watched it keep going

Pinocchio

I did no you didn't I'm telling you I

watched the

tape did you watch the tape

[Applause]

[Music]

no can't believe Joey I hate being

called a liar but you are a

liar what did I just

say you still here yes and I have to say

I am not just hurt I am insulted when I

tell somebody I did something okay hold

let me just stop you right there okay

first you lied right then you lied about

lying okay then you lied about lying

about lying okay so before you lie about

lying about lying about lying about

lying stop

lying why are you so sure I didn't watch

this tape you want to know why you want

to know

why well this is going

well here's how I know you didn't watch

the tape okay if you had seen what was

on this tape believe me you would have

some comments all right now remember I

got paid a lot of money for this and it

only aired in

Japan

Ichibon Ichibon lipstick for

[Music]

men ity Bon lipstick for

meno and that's how I know you didn't

watch the

tape he really is a chameleon

[Music]

Key Grammar Structures

• I've had a really good time tonight you know I rarely connect with someone this much on the first date me neither

  ➔ Tag question & Reduced relative clause

  ➔ The phrase 'me neither' is a short response indicating agreement, functioning as a tag question. 'Someone this much' implies 'with someone to this extent', a reduced relative clause.

• you know are you going to eat that bread oh I I just like the smell you make me laugh

  ➔ Discourse marker & Infinitive of purpose

  ➔ 'You know' is a discourse marker used to check for understanding or engage the listener. 'To make me laugh' is an infinitive phrase expressing the purpose of liking the smell.

• mhm maybe I'll just turn down the lights a little how about all the way

  ➔ Modal verb of possibility & Suggestion with 'how about'

  ➔ 'Maybe' is a modal verb indicating possibility. 'How about all the way?' is a common way to make a suggestion, offering an alternative to the initial proposal.

• oh you you can see them huh yes they're insanely white I I did that for you

  ➔ Intensifier & emphatic repetition

  ➔ 'Insanely' is an intensifier used to emphasize the degree of whiteness. The repetition of 'I I' emphasizes the speaker's action and motivation.