– English Lyrics

Lyrics & Translation

[English]

I'm I'm setting the phone

down but I'm still

here just don't go anywhere I'm still

here don't don't switch or anything cuz

I'm I'm right here just one

sec one sec one second wait one second

just what Monica I'm

scared that's that's a sleeve okay and

we also have speaker phone please stay

on the line your call is important to us

hey wait you got to hang up cuz we're

going to be late thank you for your

patience you're the next caller yes yes

I'm the next caller you're going to have

me hang

up hello

yah it's time for your massage yah put

put your face in the

hole oh a Swedish massage from a real

Swedish person huh okay then I'm

Swedish so what's your name it's a

normal Swedish name

Ikea wow what an interesting name yeah

you know I'm kind time for your scalp

massage wow I really love

your is something wrong no it's just um

just feels so good

Ikea oh hey say you'll know this what's

the capital of

Sweden um

Stockholm damn I wish I knew if that was

right everybody has ordered I would like

to start the celebration and make a

toast to

Phoebe she dropped your sock a

what no Emma dropped her sock Mom's here

I wanted to have lunch with her today

she told me she was out of

town she still has not noticed that the

baby sock is on the ground it's a good

toast will you please get her attention

oh

mommy oh for God's sake Judy pick up the

sock pick got the socks Pi got the

socks I'm sorry was that

rude you know what I'm thinking oh

okay

how it's been so long since you've had

sex you're wondering if they've changed

it no although now that's what I'm

thinking

all right so what were you thinking well

I was thinking that you gave the guy

Such Great Haircuts I thought maybe

you'd like to do mine oh

no why not because I'm just I'm

incredibly anal and an unbelievable

control freak no you're not I know I'm

not but you are and I was trying to

spare your

feelings you know it's funny last time

Paula was here my hair was so much

shorter and cuter all right okay but but

you have to promise that you will not be

all like controlly and bossy and all you

know Monica about

it I promise all right let's see now

some of you are going to get cut and

some of you

aren't but I promise none of you will

feel a thing

[Music]

all right that's it I Quit what I didn't

say anything yeah but this isn't the

face of a person who trusts a person

okay this is the face of a person who

you know doesn't trust a

person I'm sorry sorry phoe it's just

well just a little shorter than what we

had discussed would you relax I know

what I am doing this is how he wears

it how who wears it Dei

Moore Demi Moore is not a he well he was

a he in Arthur and in

10 that's Dudley Moore I said I wanted

it like demore oh oh oh my God oh God oh

my God oh my God I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm

sorry which is demore she's the actress

there was in disclosure and decent

proposal ghost oh oh she's got Gorgeous

Hair how is

she it's too soon to

tell she's resting which is a good

sign how's the hair I'm not going to lie

to you Ross it doesn't look

good I put a clip on one side which

seems to have stopped the

curling well can we see you your hair

looks too good I think it would upset

her Ross why don't you come on in so you

go ahead I'll catch up okay

okay come on that's not running let's

[Music]

go you guys I'm telling you when she

runs she looks like a cross between

Kermit the Frog and the $6 billion

man Monica had such a crush on him yeah

she used to kiss his poster every night

before she went to bed oh I used to do

that too did you also have his album

It's Not Easy Being

Green oh

my so phoi runs weird

huh yeah yeah you know what and and I

know she's going to want to run again I

just don't I don't know how to get out

of it I mean I live with her why don't

you just be straight with her tell her

the truth you're right you're right I

should just tell her the truth hey hey

hey F Monica tripped me I don't think I

can ever run again

ever why why would you do that I don't

know Rachel I'm sorry that I hurt your

ankles ankle we'll see

[Music]

hi oh yeah uhhuh it's me I saw you grab

your running shoes this morning and

sneak out you lied so you could run by

yourself no no Phoebe no I was no you

know what I was I was actually just

checking to see if I could run and I can

please Rachel I am not an idiot no wait

t

hey B can I talk to you for a second

sure okay um

I Phoebe look I just wanted to say that

I'm sorry okay I handled the situation

horribly and and I should not have lied

to

you so what should you have done well I

I should have told you the truth uhhuh

which

is well you know the reason that I

didn't want to go running with you is

because um well you know the way that

you run is just a

little so well it's embarrassing people

were looking at us like we were crazy

why do you care because they're

people but people that you don't know

and will never see again yes but still

they are people with

eyes well I didn't get embarrassed

running next to miss

but oh okay no no I can see why running

with me would be embarrassing to you

yeah okay you're uptight well I I am not

up listen I am not uptight

man that's okay Rachel I'm not judging

you that's just who you are me I'm more

free you know I run like I did when I

was a kid because that's the only way

it's fun you know I mean didn't you you

ever run so fast you thought your legs

were going to fall off you know like

when you were like running toward the

swings or or running away from

Satan the neighbor's dog

[Music]

[Music]

[Applause]

I'm so sorry you right this feels great

see and you don't care if people are

staring it's just for a second cuz then

you're gone God I mean it's amazing je I

feel so free and So

Graceful hey look out for the

horse

s you here come here here okay you're

going to take this tray you're going to

stand on this yellow Mark you're going

to move on action you're going to walk

over to the operating table you're going

to stop on that blue Mark you're going

to put the tray down don't walk too fast

but don't

dawle okay now

what

and

action cut cut I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm

sorry I'm just a little nervous yeah

well don't be okay that

helps and and

action hey you know what don't worry

about a he usually takes me three takes

two all right

eight action

[Music]

hey hey so what' he say uh well he can

be a little rough around the edges so

I'm going to replace a word he used a

lot with the word

puppy Okay so he said if your puppy

friend doesn't get her puppy act

together I am going to fire her mother

puppy ass

I'm sorry I can't do this I'm just not

an actor that's right you're not you're

a nurse You're nurse with Trey Joey no

no nurse with Trey doesn't know Joey she

doesn't have time for friends she gets

in that operating room and she carries

that try to the doctor because if she

doesn't people die who

dies man with eye patch well you get in

there and you do your job yes doctor

okay okay let's try this one more time

hang in there man with ey patch your

tray is

coming

and

action yes I did it I nailed it w what's

next the rest of the

scene okay from the top

people somebody got your shoes no give

me

wful oh these are my rat

babies yeah we have rat babies

now you brought RS to my birthday party

so this is what a stroke feels

like I had to bring them we killed their

mother they're our responsibility now

you know they require constant doesn't

care you should know that Rachel you're

a mother

oh are you comparing my daughter to a

rat no seven

rats I think we should take them home we

need to feed them why were you're going

to leave my party to take care of a box

of rats well I'm sorry Rachel but I'm

not like you okay not everyone can

afford

help remarkable women for their time

they lived in a patriarchal society

sorry I'm late but I left late

okay so pH what is the book about I

thought you said you read it in high

school well yeah but then I remembered I

started it and then there was this pep

rally and I was I was on top of the

pyramid but anyway um what's the book

about okay it's this tragic love story

between Kathy and heathcliffe and um it

takes place on these like really creepy

Moors and England which I think

represent the wildness of heathcliff's

character I totally get symbolism

how would you characterize the theme of

this book uh let's see Rachel

Green um well I would have to say that

it's a it's a tragic love

story well that's sort of a given but

yes anyone else oh oh oh

symbolism and uh the the uh wildness of

the Moors with which I think is is

mirrored in the wildness of uh

heathcliff's

character excellent what Rachel has

shrewdly observed

here you completely stole my answer what

honey that was pretty obvious how would

you know you didn't even read

it what do you think uh you and the blue

shirt I think that um yours is a

question with many possible

answers would you care to venture one

would you care to venture

one are you just repeating what I'm

saying are you just repeating what I'm

saying oh good you're here hi what you

got here oh this well I'm glad you

asked now don't you hate it when you

have to cut a tin can with an ordinary

steak knife

now I know what you're thinking pregnant

woman slays

Four B they didn't make you pay for

those knives did they no are you sure

no honey you're not going to make enough

money to help Frank and Alice just by

selling knives no no I know that but I

just need to make enough money for the

second part of my plan what's the second

part of your plan my Saturn dealership

CL the waxine and linen strips to leg

number one did that

okay grasp one of the linen strips by

its easy grab Tab and pull it off in one

quick pain-free motion

okay is it not

painfree no it was painful oh my God

they should call it paining now with a

little

wax well the girls in the satin ities on

the commercial don't seem to think it's

that bad that's because their nerves are

probably deadened from being so stupid

but hey you know if you don't believe me

please be my

guest ow ow ow oh my God now aren't you

glad we didn't start with the bikini

[Music]

strips all right it's okay it's

okay we were just waxing our legs

off for your information this happens to

be a pain like no man will ever

experience yeah well I don't think you

can make that statement unless you've

been kicked in an area the God only

meant to be treated

nicely yeah I I think women just have a

lower threshold for pain than men that's

all I mean come on it's just a little

wax oh

yeah oh that's

mature okay fine so now what I just pull

it off uhhuh that's

right all right Monica if there is

something that you would like to share

you know you had no right to go out with

him that is the most ridiculous you sold

me out I did not sell you out absolutely

talk did you just flick

me okay well you wouldn't let me finish

and I

was ow that hurt

heart quit flicking ow you flicking you

flicked me first D

[Music]

it let's not do

[Music]

this okay now I'm going to kick some a

all right now I will let go if you both

stop what do you you want me to stop

seeing him is that what you want uh-huh

you want me to just call him up and tell

him that you're seeing him instead is

that what you want

okay oh that's what you want

yes fu fine fine there we

go you know what if we were in prison

you guys would be like my

[Applause]

oh my God how did you get back

here BB

Buffet fire

[Laughter]

alarm oh hi off officer fireman can I

help you you found your fire alarm in

the trash shoot mhm that's not mine yes

it is how do you know the next time you

want to dump a fire alarm in the trash

shoot don't wrap it in a blanket that

says property of Phoebe buet not

Monica okay do you okay do you have a

search warrant because the last time I

checked this was still

America please reattach this it's

against the law to disconnect them fine

but please God tell me how to stop it

from going off just press the reset

button under the plas a cover there's a

reset button oh thank you thank you

there's a reset button my

God why didn't I see

that reset button reset button where's

there Reet oh here it is oh

[Music]

[Music]

get out of here can you

stay SM look at

me SM cat

C SM cat it's not

[Music]

your oh my God I know I sound

amazing W take you to the vet you're

obviously not the favorite

smell

catell

it's I've I've I've never heard myself

sing before I mean except in my own head

oh this is so cool now I can hear what

you

hear pretty uh pretty different

huh I am sorry but I'm incredibly

talented

[Music]

I just think that you don't expect

someone so hot to be so sweet oh I like

that oh what's your name um Phoebe buet

how do you spell that so we can get it

right oh okay it's um p as in Phoebe H

as in heie O as an OB e as an EB b as in

BB and e as an L there

[Music]

mate today we're going to start with

some songs about barnyard animal

animal oh the cow in the M goes moo oh

the cow in the M goes moo then the

farmer hits him on the head and grinds

them up and that's how we get

hamburgers

now

chicken oh look there's there's Monica

and Chandler hey hey you guys hey

[Applause]

Monica Monica oh my

God oh my God oh my eyes my eyes bab

okay it's okay it's okay no they're

doing it I know I know I know you know

yes I know and Joey knows but Ross

doesn't know so you have to stop

screaming what's going on

nothing oh God we're just so excited did

you want to get this

apartment actually it looks really

good it looks pretty good get in

here so everybody's

here everybody's

good so were you going to play something

Phoebe well actually I had

to all right

hey Julie I didn't know you wore lenses

what okay um hi hello hi okay so um this

is a song um about a love triangle

between three people that I made

up um it's called um two of them kissed

last

night there was a girl will call call

her Betty and a guy let's call him

Neil now I can't stress this point too

strongly this story isn't

real now on NE must decide who will be

the girl that he casts aside will Betty

be the one who he loves truly or will it

be the one who will call

LLY he must de he must decide even

though I made him up he must

decide hey ra can I ask you something

yeah okay you can totally say no but um

would it be okay with you if I set Ross

up on a date oh uh with who um my friend

Bonnie she just always thought Ross was

really cute and now that you two aren't

together she asked if I could set it up

but if you're not cool with it which one

is Bonnie again you remember her from my

birthday party two years ago she's yeah

like average height medium build it's

bald

oh that's fine great okay good for you

all

[Music]

right oh that was depressing I think I

just bought a soft pretzel from one of

the kids from

Fame ready to go to the movies mhm oh re

this is Bonnie

hi this is Bonnie this is Bon Bonnie

you're Bonnie I can show you an ID if

you want Oh no just you look a lot

different than the last time I I saw you

oh yeah well I just started wearing bras

again oh that must be

it well I hope you have fun tonight

thanks you too

okay you said she was Bal yeah she was

Bal she's not now

how could you not tell me that she has

hair I don't know I hardly ever say that

about people oh well this is just

perfect well I'm sorry I thought you

said it was okay yeah I said it was okay

when I thought she was some weird bald

chick I mean you know that girl has got

hair all over her

head well maybe it won't work out maybe

Ross won't like her personality why does

she have a bad personality oh no

Bonnie's the best

[Applause]

so Ross how um how did it go with Bonnie

oh I got to tell you I I wasn't

expecting to like her at all I mean I

actually wasn't expecting to like anyone

right now but she's really terrific oh

it's too

bad no I I'm saying I liked her yeah you

know what there are other fish in the

SE theves I think she's great okay we're

going out again okay hey I hear you are

you capable of talking about anything

else okay would you rather live in the

shirt pocket of a sweaty giant or inside

his shower

drain oh my God Phoebe look it's R and

that

girl big no no look at that it's a line

of ants they're working as a team

baby right oh yeah wow oh it looks like

Ross is breaking up with her o I hope he

lets her down easy let's go come on bab

look at that they're not breaking up

look at them okay that you know what

that is that is that is a second date

that's what that is look at that she

just put her hand on his thigh oh no

that really is nothing she's very

sexually aggressive oh baby this is all

your fault now he loves her he's going

to marry her and this is all your

fault you said it was okay you said she

was bald

was was was was was

was babbe we can't we just can't let it

happen okay we have to do something but

we have to break them up okay you just

go in there and like shave her head you

owe me one bold

girl okay first of all

breathe second of all I don't get it

aren't you the one that decided you

didn't want to be with

Ross yes well isn't he your friend don't

you want him to be happy

yes

so I just you know I didn't expect him

to be this happy so

soon oh no what oh we killed them

all hey so listen you know my friend

Chris who owns the crematorium

crematorium Chris

sure he said that he would cremate my

fur coat for free if I um you know bring

in the next person I know who

dies oh my God oh my God look at these

bels don't get too attached she's having

it cremated

what phoei honey honey I know you're

quirky and I get a big kick out of it we

all do actually but if you destroy a

coat like this I mean that is like a

crime against

nature not nature

fashion this is fashion okay so to you

death is fashion that's really funny

yeah here's here's Phoebe um sporting

you know Cutting Edge Harry carcass from

you know the the steel traps of winry

Russia I mean you really think this

looks good

cuz I

do look who's

back hey fees call security phes uh

didn't you get fired I don't think so

Phoebe Jack

hey what are you doing here all better

back to work except this clown from

research told me I was fired he should

do his research

huh well you were

fired nuh-uh

I told that guy who answered your phone

oh okay I didn't get that message so

this doesn't count anyway I'll be in my

office uh phebe I you you you don't have

an office that's all right I I'll work

right here this is good next to this

plant let's you're in my

office look I have made a lot of cash

for this company okay I'm talking big

bucks pesos Yen rubles you make one

little mistake you you lost $13 million

oh so now this is all about

money you know it's bad enough then ow

oh you have got to be kidding are you

all right I'm having another heart

attack what I'm having another heart

attack call

911

dumbass hey feves how's it going they

fired me and I'm having a heart attack

oh well welcome back yeah just see so

many people who have accomplished so

many of their goals by the time they're

30 yeah but you shouldn't compare

yourself to

[Applause]

me I did it one mile on a hippity hop

that's it that's everything I wanted to

do before I was 30 oh except I wanted to

patch things up with my sister

oh well but

yay and and girls this thing is a

godsend if you know what I

mean people I want you to take a piece

of paper here you go and write down your

most embarrassing memory oh and I do ask

that when you're not using the markers

you put the Caps back on them because

they will dry out

L you guys um I don't mean to be a pain

about this but um I've noticed that some

of you are just placing them on you want

to push the

Caps until you hear them

click Gunther where are you going I um

was sort of thinking about maybe no no

you can't go no this is fun come on

we're just getting started here here's

your

marker listen if you want to go just go

no she'll yell at me

again all right I can get you out

what in a minute I'm going to create a

diversion and I do walk quickly to the

door and don't look

back okay the first person's most

embarrassing memory is Monica your party

sucks all right very funny

oh no oh did someone forget to use a

coaster

what I don't see

anything great I'm seeing water rings

again okay she's taking the trash out so

I can get you out of here but it has to

be now she'll be back any minute what

about my friend Victor no only the three

of you any more than that and she'll get

suspicious all right let me just get my

coat there isn't

time just leave everything they'll take

care of you next

door is it true they have

beer everything you've heard is

true could you guys please try to keep

it down we're trying to start a bosle

tournament you and you you're supposed

to be at my party

and

Gunther what are you doing

here hey welcome to the

phe phie all right I'm sorry but these

people needed me you know they work hard

all week it's Saturday night they

deserve to have a little fun

go you know my party is fun maybe it's

little quieter less obvious sort of fun

but you know if people would just give

it a chance it's

so

Showtime okay Rachel get me perfume okay

and Joie could you get me a bottle of

wine and

glasses it'll be great you just make her

think you want to have sex with her and

it'll totally fig her

out okay listen how far or am I going to

have to go with her relax she's going to

give in way before you do how do you

know because you're on my team and my

team always

wins at

this just go get

some

go okay honey now I'm going to try to

listen from right here okay okay oh

wait good idea yeah wait don't give away

the farm okay

FY Chandler come on

it I was going

to um I brought some wine would you like

some

[Music]

sure so here we are nervous me no you no

I want this to

happen so do

I I'm going to put on some

music maybe maybe I'll dance for you

[Music]

[Music]

you look

[Music]

good

thanks you know that say things like

that it makes me want to rip that

sweater vest right

off well why don't we move this into the

bedroom really

oh do you not want it no no I just you

know first I want to take off all my

clothes and have you rub lotion on

me well that would be

nice I'll go get the

lotion

a this is totally getting out of hand

okay she wants me to put lotion on her

she's bluffing look she's not backing

down she went like this

he's not backing down he went to get

lotion oh man aren't you guys done yet I

want to sit in my

chair Joey look just look at it this way

the sooner Phoebe breaks Chandler the

sooner this is all over and out in the

open o I like that oh okay show him your

bra he's afraid of bras can't work them

[Applause]

wow you didn't rip off any

buttons it's not my first

time you go back out there and you

seduce her till she cracks okay give me

a

second did you clean up in

here oh you you're uh you're going I'm

not without you lover

so this is my

bra it's very very

nice well come

here I'm very happy we're going to have

all the

sex you should be I'm very

bendy I'm going to kiss you now

not if I kiss you

[Applause]

first well I guess there's nothing left

for us to do but but

kiss here it

comes our first

kiss okay okay okay okay will you win I

can't have sex with you and why not

because I'm a love with Monica you're

you're

what love her that's right I love her I

love her

I love you

Monica I love you too

[Music]

Chandler I just I thought you guys were

doing it I didn't know you were in

love

dude and hats off to Phoebe quite a

competitor and may I say your breasts

are still Shar God

right so that's it it's over everybody

knows well actually Ross doesn't yes and

we'd appreciate if no one told him

yet don't you think you've had enough to

drink I'm just helping the

kids how is you drinking helping the

kids because the more I drink the less

there is for the kids to

drink wasn't there a time when the

brightest Minds in the world believed

that the Earth was flat and up until

like what 50 years ago you all thought

the atom was the smallest thing until

you split it open and this like whole

mess of crap came

out now are you telling me that you are

so unbelievably arrogant that you can't

admit that there's a teeny tiny

possibility that you could be wrong

about

this there might be

a

teeny

tiny

possibility I can't believe you

caved what you just abandon your whole

belief

[Music]

system no I mean before I didn't agree

with you but at least I respected you

but no how how how are you going to go

into work tomorrow how how are you going

to face the other science guys how how

are you going to face

[Music]

yourself that was fun so who's hungry

oh okay then what

happened oh oh

uh-huh

uh-huh you'll get your

turn hey Phoenix what's going on nothing

this is not

[Music]

over put your 20 bucks down okay first

one to find the tasty treat wins okay

mhm all right let's get the contestants

out of their isolation

booths and they're

off get your foot off my contestant

judge judge rules no violation

oh hey guys yeah hey you know what it's

so weird to say this but I just had a

great date with Janice what are you

serious yeah I opened up to her about

all the terrible stuff that's been

happening to me I mean I talked for

hours it is amazing to have someone give

you such such focused attention you

don't need Janice for that you've got us

then the dock gets another butter no oh

hey hey that's not a Nutter butter

that's just an old wanton no judge rules

Nutter

butter tough call

yeah um I'd also like to try on The

Tiara oh yeah

okay well what do you think too

much a tad okay then take the Tiara back

and let me hold the musket

again something's missing it's not okay

oh let me see the ring that my friend

picked

out what's the 1920s princess Cup ring I

just sold it to that gentleman oh my God

wait no no

what let me out

no hi hey oh what's the matter

well you know that psychic I see yeah

well she told me that I'm going to die

this week so I'm kind of bummed about

that what yeah and I know you guys don't

know a lot about psychic readings but

that one is pretty much the worst one

you can

get baby that's crazy I can't believe

she would say that to you yeah honey you

don't believe her do you I don't she you

know said that I'd have triplets but she

also said one of them would be black

oh just out of curiosity did she tell

you how you're GNA go no cuz she didn't

tell me I was going to die till the very

end of the session and I was not going

to waste a whole other hour there I mean

I've only got a week left you know I've

really got to start living

[Music]

now hey hey FEPS you're still

alive how are you feel feeling oh it's

so exhausting waiting for

death oh by the way do you think

you peeps what are you doing I Was

preparing you for my Deb didn't you

think I was dead did that not come

off oh yeah scared the hell out of me I

thought we'd lost you

forever V do you want to lie down yeah

thanks and listen can you do me a favor

could you just um wake me up in a couple

hours if you

[Applause]

can Hey Hey listen to this my reading

was wrong I'm not going to die really

how do you know because my psychic is

dead she must have read the cards wrong

oh I'm sorry better her than

me hey let's B

cookies got me

Taffy Taffy really I've never had any

ever

well I think my mother was too busy

planning her suicide to provide

saltwater

treats thank

you so what are you just never going to

tell her oh no no no I will I just want

to butter her up first you know I'm

going to take her to an amazing

Valentine's dinner do all this romantic

stuff and then just when she thinks I'm

the best boyfriend in the world then I'm

going to tell her that my pregnant

ex-girlfriend is living with me if I

haven't said it before she's a lucky

lucky lady

so where are you going what the mother

of crap is up with this

stuff oh God it is it gum is it food

what what's the

deal oh it's nice may I try a pink

one oh excuse me ma'am yes you can't put

your cigarette out on a tree yeah I can

it worked real

well no but you shouldn't so don't ever

do that again I won't till I have my

next cigarette hold it NYPD freeze punk

what that's right you are so

busted uh

bookham who are you talking to save it

red unless you want to spend a night in

The Slammer you apologize to the

tree I am not going to apologize to a

tree you apologize to the tree right now

or I am calling for backup

Backup backup I'm I'm sorry sorry okay

cancel backup cancel

backuping down the

street goats

opting leaving little

treats I don't know does it even work

without my sexy voice I like

it Gunther kiss me

[Applause]

and I'm still waiting for my paper my

shame

man thank you my

babies Rachel

yeah I don't know if you heard about

what happened between me and Phoebe the

other day no well we kissed I I didn't

initiate the kiss but but I also didn't

stop it and I've been feeling

guilty okay so

um are we

cool

okay I knew you wouldd

understand oh what that's like the third

time that lady's won on a machine I was

playing uh I'll bet she's one of those

people

Mo

people what no no a lurker oh what's a

lurker okay when you're playing a

machine and it hasn't paid out a lurker

waits for you to give up and then kills

you no they swoop in and steal your

jackpot oh mhm how do you know about

this my nana used to do

it that's how she paid for all my dance

karate lessons dance karate yes it's a a

deadly but beautiful

sport kiss just

me oh well lost

again that's it you and me

outside I wouldn't want to see you lose

a chunk of that pretty blonde

hair

Co okay lady your lurking days are over

what yeah from now on everyone you lurk

I'm going to lurk first if you move on

to someone else I'm going to be one step

ahead of you every single time and then

I'll be on your ass every hour of every

day till Monday cuz that's when I go

home

when do you leave also Monday what time

maybe we can share a

c who else wants one of my special

homemade brownies I will have one oh

yeah I'm not going to have one of

those no no it's just my tooth all I'll

have

another so what's the matter you need a

dentist I've got a good one oh thanks I

have a good one too I just I I I can't

see him see that is the problem with

invisible

dentists why why can't you go to them

because every time I go to the dentist

somebody

dies that is so weird because every time

I go to the dentist I look down the

hygienist

blouse Phoebe what um what yeah yeah

first there was my Aunt Mary and then

there was um John my mailman and then my

my cowboy friend albino

Bob and did all of these people actually

died yes while I was in the chair that's

why I take such good care of my teeth

now you know it's not about oral hygiene

I floss to save

lives PHS come on you didn't kill

anybody these people just happen to die

when you went to the dentist it's it's

just a coincidence well tell that to

them oh you can't they're

dead

hey hey what are you doing here well I I

thought a lot about what you said and um

I realized I maybe I was a little

judgmental yeah oh but oh now bab

remember hey they're just fulfilling

their Christmas Destiny sure

yes

okay yikes that one doesn't look very

fulfilled oh that's uh that's one of the

old ones he's just taking it to the back

you keep the old ones in the back that

is so

aist but we have to make room for the

fresh ones

so what happens to the old guys well

they go into the

chipper well I have a feeling that's not

as happy as it

sounds

[Applause]

no hey hey

hey found you in my

bed how' you wind up there you are a

mysty little black curly

hair little black curly hair little

black little black little black little

black little

blackly thank

you um now if you want to receive emails

about my upcoming shows then please give

me money so I can buy a computer

oh

[Music]

Key Vocabulary

Vocabulary	Meanings
setting /ˈsetɪŋ/ B1	verb - placing something in a particular place or position.
scared /skeərd/ A2	adjective - feeling fear or anxiety.
patience /ˈpeɪʃəns/ B1	noun - the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.
massage /məˈsɑːʒ/ A2	noun - the manipulation of soft tissues of the body for therapeutic purposes.
Swedish /ˈswiːdɪʃ/ A2	adjective - relating to Sweden or its people.
normal /ˈnɔːrməl/ A2	adjective - conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected.
interesting /ˈɪntrəstɪŋ/ A2	adjective - arousing curiosity or interest; holding or catching the attention.
capital /ˈkæpɪtl/ B1	noun - the most important city or town of a country or region.
ordered /ˈɔːrdərd/ A2	verb - requested something to be made, supplied, or served.
celebration /ˌselɪˈbreɪʃən/ B1	noun - the performance of joyful activities to mark a special occasion.
dropped /drɒpt/ A1	verb - let (something) fall.
noticed /ˈnoʊtɪst/ A2	verb - become aware of (something).
control /kənˈtroʊl/ B1	noun - the power to influence or direct people's behavior or the course of events.
freak /friːk/ B1	noun - a person greatly interested in or enthusiastic about something.
promise /ˈprɒmɪs/ A2	verb - assure someone that one will definitely do something or that something will happen.
trust /trʌst/ B1	noun - firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.