– English Lyrics

Lyrics & Translation

[English]

oh sorry did I get

you no you didn't get me it's an

electric drill you get me you kill

me calm down do you want this unit or

not I do not want this unit oh you

should have told me that before not a

mine reader

and we're out of here okay I'm going to

Monica's

fine and it was Ern molrat who first

hypothesized that the Velociraptor when

threatened would expand its collar and

emit a high pitched noise to frighten

off its Predator yes Mr Lewis what kind

of

noise just a high pitched intimidating

getting noise but like

how well we we don't know for

sure but in my head it it sounded

something like

[Laughter]

this of course this is just conjecture

oh my God what does that thing

do uh that's an eye removal machine all

right I'm out of I'm kidding I'm kidding

uhoh hi Rachel I'm Dr Miller Monica told

me you were a little nervous but don't

worry everything's going to be just fine

so we're done then almost but first we

got to start okay this is the glaucoma

test uhhuh sit

down okay put your chin here

M now you're going to feel a small puff

of air in each eye what what

a small puff of bear now come

on here we go all right one two three

okay sorry all right I'm going to stay

in here this time okay ready uhhuh one

two I'm sorry you know what I'm going to

hold her head okay that's okay okay okay

okay one uh-huh two I'm sorry you know

what you're young you probably don't

have

glaucoma okay so it was very very nice

to meet you sir and hey what are you are

you crazy okay got a small minor

infection in that left eye I want you to

take these drops three times a day for a

week and you'll be as good as new yeah

no I I don't I don't put things in my

eye okay then I guess we'll see you back

here in 3 months great and I'll fit you

for a glass eye okay just give me the

the damn

drops Dr

Miller p e CF

D very good

Monica you know where they are I sure

do and you don't get

one what next blow a bubble a bubble's

good it's got a uh boyish charm it's

impish

here we

go nice going imp okay okay it it's okay

all I need to do is reach over and put

it back in my

mouth good save we're back on track and

I'm chewing someone else's

gum this is not my gum oh my God oh my

God and now you're

choking are you all

right oh my God you're

choking

better yes thank you that

was that was perfection

[Music]

hey hey check it out guess what I got

rhythm no my first fan mail take

out Dear Dr rore know that I love you

and would do anything to have you gosh

you're not so secret admirer Erica

Ford oh wait PS en close please find 14

of my

eyelashes you know in crazy world that

means you're

married this wasn't addressed Days of

Our Lives this is this came to your

apartment there's no stamp on it this

woman was in our building oh my

God I got my very own

stalker oh my God I love this apartment

isn't it perfect I can't believe I never

realized how how great it is well that

is because your eye immediately goes to

the big naked man

it's amazing you better hurry up and

fill out an application or I'm going to

beat you to it

oh well I never thought I'd say this but

I'm going to go use ugly naked guy's

bathroom oh look there's there's Monica

and Chandler hey hey you guys hey

[Applause]

Monica Monica oh my

God and Monica oh my God oh my eyes my

eyes bab bab okay it's okay it's okay no

they're doing it I know I know I know

you know yes I know and Joey knows but

Ross doesn't know so you have to stop

screaming what's going

on nothing oh we're just so excited did

you want to get this

apartment actually it looks really

good it looks pretty good get in

[Music]

here woo Die Hard still great

yeah hey what do you say we make it a

double feature what else you in Die Hard

2 Joey this is die hard one again

oh but we watch it a second time and

it's die hard

too Joey we just saw it and and it would

be cool to see it again yeah

die dude you didn't say die

hard is everything

okay yeah I just got I got plants well

John mlan had

plans now you see the thing is I want to

get out of here before Joey gets all wor

worked up and starts calling everybody

what are you talking about

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

what happened I don't know

asleep that is all yeah yeah

yeah all right well uh I better go yeah

I think that would be

best all right I'll talk to you later

okay but not about this no never

never so uh

uh bye no touch no touch

[Music]

hey just uh brought back your videos uh

hey uh Ross look uh I think we need to

talk about before no no we

don't yes we do now look that was the

best nap I ever

had I I don't know what you're talking

about come on admit it that was the best

nap you ever

had my had

better okay

when all right all right it was the best

M ever I said it okay but it's over

Joey I want to do it

again we can't do it again why not

because it's

weird

fine you want something to drink sure

what do you got warm milk and Excedrin

[Applause]

PM boy I'll tell you that judging stuff

took a lot out of me yeah yeah see about

may be going upstairs and taking a

little nap on my

couch what why would I care about

that no reason I'm just saying that uh

that's where I'll be

[Applause]

[Music]

great nap it really

[Applause]

was dude what the hell are you

doing God

excuse

me okay Chandler mon there's only one

banana nut muffin left oh well order

mine first yeah but I'm I'm so much

faster give it to me no give it to

me okay you can have it

there you go enjoy your

coffee that was there when I got

here hey you guys you will never guess

who's coming to New York quick Phoebe

tell us before you can swallow okay Ryan

that guy I went out with who's in the

Navy you went out with a guy in the Navy

yeah I met him when I was um playing

guitar in Washington Square Park Ryan

threw in saltwater taffy cuz he didn't

have any change hey is that when you

wrote saltwater taffy man

e no he is my submarine guy he

resurfaces like every couple years and

we have the most amazing three days

together only this time he's coming for

two weeks two whole weeks which means

yay so wait this guy goes down for like

two years at a

time that'll teach you to lick my

muffin all

oh no what happened I just spoke to

Carol Ben's got the chicken pox you yeah

so if you haven't already had it chances

are you're going to get it well I've had

it yeah I've had it had it had it well I

haven't ever had it I feel so left out

oh

look we can't go now it looks like

Rachel's going to put on a

skit oh my God have you lost your mind

no no no no no no I finally thinking

clearly my lucky dress wasn't working

out too well for me but for 4 years this

baby never

missed I cannot I can't

let actually I kind of want to see what

happens hey he nice uh costume oh yeah

well I wanted to give Emily a big

American goodbye cheer so

okay ready okay give me an e e give me

an m m give me an I I give me an l l

give me y

y

again

Emily

Emily okay let be a cheerleader to

fine I'm fine I just lose your tooth

it's no big deal I have a dentist you

know put some ice on it excuse

me okay what do I do now what do I do

now I think you're

done okay time to take off the

[Music]

bra uh that was really uh

great but I I got to take off actually

take off

all right come on let's go get your coat

okay Rachel is my

girlfriend okay 10 blocks down five to

go oh wait stop stop up oh I'm sorry do

you need a

break my boot's in tan hey can you get a

little closer so I can see the price I

can see it from right here it'll cost

you one

husband okay I'm sorry I think I I can

walk the rest of the way now just just

give me my

boots I don't have your boots well I

don't have them either where are they

well why don't you check in one of my

saddle bags while I chew on a bail of

hay okay God we got to go back and get

them honey are you seriously ever going

to wear the boots

again okay I'm never going to wear them

again just didn't get a chance to say

goodbye you know what you can say

goodbye to the tan

ones

okay all

right okay bye boots wait half off hey

oh we we can't keep eating like

this it's uh

12:50 okay

um

so you make the pizzas in one of those

uh wood burning ovens

no actually um I think they're gas gas

wow

intense if this is the way all the gers

flirt we don't have a

problem hey uh you know that smell gas

has yeah they put that

in what the gas G is

odorless but they add the smell so you

know when there's a

leak well

okay a lot of other gas

smells you know what um actually I I

really I should go oh but I I I haven't

paid you yet you know what that's okay

you guys have ordered so many that this

one's on

me great

get anything that's not Ralph

Lauren yeah I don't think so

Joe all right I guess this will be fun

Hey listen uh what are you what are you

doing tonight nothing what how would you

feel about taking out my assistant tag

I'll

pay M I got to say it's going to take a

lot of money for me to go out on a date

with a

dude I'm not asking you to go on a date

with him really cuz I could kind of use

the money

no Joey just just he's new in town and I

know he doesn't have any guy friends

just take him to like a ball game or

something I'd really appreciate it yeah

okay sure no problem thank you o hey

Donuts in what John Houston film would

you hear this line badges we don't need

no stinking badges Treasure of Sierra

Madre correct there's a possible

backwards bonus MRE Sierra the of

treasure yes I'd like to go up the

ladder of chance to the golden mud hut

please Wise Choice how many rungs

six that noise can only mean one thing

hung monkey

monkey I'd like a wicked Wango card okay

it's an audio question name this

television theme

song oh my God okay I know this give me

give me a second tell it to time Turtle

shut up dream of genam yes yes you're

back in the lead uh I'd like to spin the

wheel oh come

on super Speedy speed round is there a

Hopping bonus of

[Laughter]

course who invented bifocals Ben

Franklin correct which monarch has ruled

Great Britain the longest Queen Victoria

correct again but you forgot to switch

legs between questions so hopping bonus

oh every time now over to Chandler I'd

like a Google card are you sure yes

no

Google oh my God congratulations Ross

because Chandler you've been bamboozled

no this is the best game ever okay okay

you here come here here okay you're

going to take this tray you're going to

stand on this yellow Mark you're you're

going to move on action you're going to

walk over to the operating table you're

going to stop on that blue Mark you're

going to put the tray down don't walk

too fast but don't

dawle okay now

what

and

action cut cut I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm

sorry I'm just a little nervous yeah

well don't be okay that helps

and

action hey you know what don't worry

about it Fe usually takes me three takes

two all right

eight action

[Music]

hey so what' he say uh well he can be a

little rough around the edges so I'm

going to replace a word he used a lot

with the word

puppy Okay so he said if your puppy

friend doesn't get her puppy act

together I am going to fire her mother

puppy

ass I'm sorry I can't do this I'm just

not an actor that's right you're not

you're a nurse You're nurse with Trey

Joey no no nurse with Trey doesn't know

Joey she doesn't have time for friends

she gets in that operating room and she

carries that tray to the doctor because

if she doesn't people die who

dies man with eye patch well you get in

there and you do your job yes doctor

okay okay hey let's try this one more

time hang in there man with ey patch

your tray is

coming

and

action yes I did it I nailed it w what's

next the rest of the

scene okay from the top

people hey don't

it's worse than the

thumb hey this is so unfair oh why is it

un so I have a flaw big deal like Joey's

constant knuckle cracking isn't annoying

and Ross with his over pronouncing every

single word and Monica with that snort

when she laughs I mean what the hell is

that

thing I accept all those flaws why can't

you accept me for this

does the knuckle cracking bother

everybody

well I I could live without

it was it like a little Annoying or is

it like when Phoebe chews her

hair oh now don't listen to him phibes

all right I think it's endearing oh you

do do you

you know there's nothing wrong with

speaking correctly indeed there

[Music]

isn't I should really get back to work

yeah otherwise someone might get what

they actually ordered

well the hair comes out and the gloves

come

off

start over there

what's

this isn't it cool room

Ro this is not the bed I ordered I know

you must have won like a contest or

something

baby why is this car in my bedroom I'm

sorry okay I I wasn't looking and the

store said that they won't take it back

because you've signed for it when did I

sign for it when I was you you know what

it's all Joey's fault cuz he left his

nose

open did you make brownies

today knock knock quick take off your

dress you won't notice the

bed hey I'm going for sushi does anybody

want

uh whoa somebody missed the

offramp it's Monica's bed what

okay it's a race

car so this has always been Monica's bed

you're just noticing now how self-

involved are

you okay well if this bed isn't newe

then how come there's plastic on the

mattress sometimes I have bad

dreams hey I'm

here oh oh my God you like it oh my God

it's my new Apothecary table

Ro pH is going to be here any second she

cannot see this oh why not she'll she'll

love it it's the real thing I got to let

Pottery

Barn I know you did I bought the same

one and if she sees your table she's

going to know that I lied to her I told

her that ours was an original why did

you do that because she hates Pottery

Barn she hates Pottery

Barn I know I know she says it's all

mass-produced nothing is authentic and

everyone winds up having the same stuff

so come on she's going to be here any

second can we please just cover this up

with something please what no no I am

not going to hide it from Phoebe oh

although I did get some great Pottery

Barn sheets oh oh I forgot they made

sheets

yeah I still can't believe she hates

Pottery Barn Ross get over it it's not

like she hates you yeah but Pottery Barn

you know when I think she's just she's

weird you know it's because she's a twin

twins are

weird Ross she's not weird she just

likes her stuff to be one of a kind huh

you know what's not one of a kind a

twin

hey oh B's here okay so let's turn out

all the lights and we'll just watch the

movie okay hey oh cool sheet oh you like

it you want to know where I got it sure

he got it at a flea

market you bought your sheets at a flea

market Ross come on you got to loosen

the pur strings a

[Music]

little goody FES can you please not put

your feet up on my

new old

sheet oh sure oh my Apothecary

table what no oh no Ross where did you

get this I got it at Pottery Barn

okay oh my God phbe Pottery Barn has

ripped off the design of our

antique wow oh my god well if they've

ripped off our table ours must be worth

much more than

$150 well this doesn't even smell like

opium of course not it smells like wine

would you spill and thanks for wrecking

my sheep by the way oh Ross calm down

I'll give you the 80

cents but this is the last time with a

chick chick here and a chick chick there

here a chick there a chick everywhere a

chick chick

chicken hey hey how's she

doing

she well yeah don't don't you think it's

a she I don't know

I can't tell whatever it was went back

in too

quickly anyway I got to go change I'm

meeting some of the cast for drinks

excuse me

what I stayed home from work today while

you were rehearsal so somebody could be

here with our chick hey who was up from

2:00 this morning until 5:00 this

morning trying to get her back to

sleep you don't think I get up when you

get

up oh here it comes yes here it comes

I'm stuck here all day and then you come

in and spend two seconds with

us and then expect to go off

gallivanting with your

friends well I don't think so Mister hey

I need to relax okay I was working all

day and you don't think taking care of

our chick is

work that's not what I said okay I just

meant I know what you

meant have you noticed that ever since

we got this

chick we've been fighting a lot more

than we used

to I don't know maybe we weren't ready

to have a

chick I'll take her back

tomorrow you think we'll get our three

bucks back okay let's see okay the trick

is in the oven the stuffing is ready you

know you always cook this meal all by

yourself let me help this here A

Chandler that's sweet but you don't have

to do everything Dr Phil tells you to

do I'm serious let me do something just

not the turkey or the stuffing nothing

high

profile let's see oh the cranberry sauce

it's easy to make and no one really

cares about

it tell me more okay I'm going to go

check on something across the hall you

start by washing these

not with

soul you obviously haven't Taste of my

pal Olive

potatoes hi hi hi um I think there's

something that we really need to talk

about I think we

do why don't we go ins

sign look

uh I know why you're here you do yeah

and to save you from any embarrassment

um I think maybe I should talk

first okay

okay Ross and

Rachel Rachel and

Ross that's been one heck of a seesaw

hasn't

it

what I mean look that that one night we

had was fun and and certainly passionate

but don't don't you think it's better if

we just stay

friends seriously

what okay okay you know what if you want

to we can do it one more

time I mean i' I'd be okay with that in

fact I have some time right now okay you

know what can I can I talk now oh sure

okay I'm pregnant

Ross

Ross okay whenever you're

[Laughter]

ready and you're the father by the way

but you

got can I get you some water I'm good

I'm good

Ross there is no pressure on you okay I

mean you can be as involved as you

want yeah I uh I'm just I don't know I

don't

understand um how this

happen we we used the condom I know I

know but you know condoms only work like

97% of the time what

what

what well they should put that on the

box they do no they

[Laughter]

don't well they should put it in huge

block

letters Okay Ross come on let's just

forget about the condoms oh well I may

as well

have listen you know what I was really

freaked out too when I found out hey I'm

not freaked

out I'm indignant as a

consumer you know what let's let's talk

later no no I want to talk now okay I in

fact I want to talk to the

president of the condom company okay you

know what maybe I should come back

sh they oppress one hey is this true

that you write a lot of your own lines

uh well kind of

yeah like remember last week when Alex

was in the accident well the line in the

script was if we don't get this woman to

a hospital she's going to die but I made

it if this woman doesn't get to a

hospital she's not going to

live oh okay I see what you did there

aren't you afraid though that the

writers are going to be kind of mad when

they read

this huh never really thought about the

writers the scripts just kind of come to

my

house but you know what this makes me

look good which makes the show look good

which makes the writers look good so how

could they be mad about

that makes up most of his lines son of a

yeah right this jerk weed I fall down An

Elevator Shaft what the hell does this

mean I fall down An Elevator Shaft uh I

don't know I just bring the scripts you

take an oath no I made myself take one

yeah no fooling around with clients and

um always be

prepared yeah that one's actually from

the Boy Scouts but it just makes good

sense why don't you just give them the

somebody else no I can handle it no I'm

a

professional oh fibs is that a new ankle

bracelet wow and you got a pedicure your

feet are all dressed

up because that's the only part of you

he can see when he's on the

table you're going to do some feet

flirting I don't know what you're

talking

about then how do you explain the tow

ring

because it's Arabian princess day at

work okay leave me

alone I have a weird feeling about this

place I me how do I know they're not

going to secretly videotape me and put

it all over the

Internet because honey and I I mean this

in the sweetest way possible nobody's

going to want to watch

that Mr Bing here you are you'll go into

that room and deposit your specimen into

the Container deposit my specimen you

know I usually have to call 900 number

for that kind of

talk thanks got

it all right honey my tests are down the

hall you sure you going to be okay yeah

I guess look I know this is embarrassing

but nobody cares no one here even knows

you oh my God

[Applause]

oh come

[Music]

[Applause]

on how great is this yeah we're probably

fertile let's go

home why are you here well Sid and I are

trying again and we had trouble last

time because apparently we no I mean why

why is she

here oh someone's a little cranky today

cuz they have to do it in a cup H oh

they gave you the kitty

size

[Music]

what this was fun but I've got an

invasive vaginal exam to get

to I'd love to stay but I've uh got a

hot date please go just let me know if

you need a hand Joey

peponi oh still too ethnic My AG thinks

I should have a name that's more neutral

Joey

[Laughter]

Switzerland plus you know I think it

should be Joe you know Joey makes me

sound like um this big which I'm

not Joe Joe Joe

Stalin

Stalin Stalin do I know that name that

sounds familiar well it does not ring a

with

me Joe

stal you know that's pretty

good you might want to try

[Applause]

Joseph Joseph

Stalin I think you'd remember that oh

yes bye-bye birdie starring Joseph

Stalin Joseph Stalin is is the Fiddler

on the

[Music]

Roof you know there already is a Joseph

[Laughter]

Stalin you're

kidding apparently he was this Russian

dictator who slaughtered all these

people you'd think you would have known

that you know you'd think I would have

[Music]

hey hey what have you guys been up to oh

we went to a self-defense class today

wow yeah kicking a guy in the crotch all

morning really takes it out of

you takes it out of

you now now we can kick anybody's ass

yeah after one class I don't think so

what you want to see me self-defend

myself go over there and pretend you're

a sexual predator go on I dare

you of course you could defend yourself

from an attack you know is coming that's

not enough look I studied karate for a

long

time and there's a concept you should

really be familiar with it's what the

Japanese call

unagi isn't that a kind of

sushi no it's a concept yeah it is it is

it's freshwater

eel all right maybe it means that too oh

I would kill for a salmon skin roll

right now

no fine get attacked I don't even

care come on Ross we're sorry please

tell us what it

is unagi is a state of total

awareness okay only by achieving true

unagi can you be prepared for any danger

that may befall

you you mean in case someone's trying to

steal your bamboo sleeping mat or your

kettle of fish

all I'm saying is it's one thing being

prepared for an attack against like each

other whole another story being prepared

for an attack I don't know like

[Laughter]

surprise all right you knew that was

coming but that doesn't mean you have

unagi oh you know what if we

reservations we could have unagi in

about a half

[Music]

[Laughter]

hour what the hell was that a lesson in

the importance of

unagi you're a

freak perhaps

now I'm curious at what point during

those girlish screams would you have

begun to kick my

ass all right so we weren't

prepared I'm sorry I had to take such

drastic measures to make my point but I

look I just want you guys to be safe oh

[Music]

danger

ahuh unagi

[Music]

[Applause]

[Laughter]

[Applause]

danger

ah Salmon skin

[Music]

roll hat say Jack yeah Alex TRC oh of

course course check willery definitely

Phoebe you will not find a single game

show host whose ass I cannot

[Laughter]

kick

no say it say we are

unagi it's not something you are it's

something you

have say it you know what I could easily

get out of this but there's a chance you

can get very very

hurt

oh uhhuh nowhere to

run I don't like sitting up here I'm

going to go over no Rachel they got here

[Laughter]

first why is Ross doing that danger oh

my God why is he jumping on those

women we should help

them I I don't think they need any

help I overslept I was supposed to be on

the set half an hour ago I got to get

out of here oh what doy you can't go

like that you stink look I don't I fell

asleep before I could take a shower now

I don't have time they're just 10 blocks

away if I run I can make it yeah Run 10

blocks that'll help the smell hey slow

down no keep

moving so how did it go with Joshua last

night oh well I didn't see Joshua but I

did punch a girl in the face what the

whole night was horrible it was pouring

down rain and when I got there there was

no Rachel Green on the list but there

was a Rachel GP oh so did you get to

meet her

no there is no Rachel gep but then this

other girl overheard us and she was all

I'm Rachel GRE I'm Rachel GRE and he let

her right in so you hit her in the face

no she was already in but then this big

behind me tried to steal my

umbrella so I clocked

her this is my son having lunch okay

it's going to happen a lot so you better

get used to it now if you have any

problem with it if you're uncomfortable

just ask questions Carol's fine with it

come on

Carol

Carol I was just wondering if Joey could

ask you a question about

breastfeeding

sure

uh does it

hurt I did it first but not

anymore

Chandler so uh how often can you do

it as much as he needs oh oh okay I got

one I got one

uh if he blows into one does the other

one get

bigger God how did you get back here BB

Buffet fire

[Laughter]

alarm oh hi officer fireman can I help

you you found your fire alarm in the

trash shoot mhm that's not mine yes it

is

how do you know the next time you want

to dump a fire alarm in the trash shoot

don't wrap it in a blanket that says

property of Phoebe buet not

Monica okay do you okay do you have a

search warrant because the last time I

checked this was still

America please reattach this it's

against the law to disconnect them fine

but please God tell me how to stop it

from going off just press the reset

button under the plastic cover there's a

reset button oh thank you thank you

there's a reset step button my

God why didn't I see

that reset button reset button where's

our reset button oh here it is oh

[Music]

I think the check in is that way

[Applause]

ah oh kids love

me

hey what you you go to a costume

party let me guess um

tonoa and your bom

sagot watch your via yeah what what are

you talking about be I

don't oh my God you drew on me hey you

wet my

pants Oh what kind of party was

this I been walking around like this

since the plane I you have so crossed a

line ra wait the men's room is that way

come on in thanks for coming back um

okay there have been a lot of people

interested in the room but I have

narrowed it down and you are one of the

finalists great okay now before I make

my decision I uh I just want to make

sure that our personalities match okay

so I made up a little test now I'm going

to say a word and then you say the first

thing that comes to mind I can do that

okay here we go pillow fight very

good Okay g string

excellent okay

um

doggy kitten oh

sorry no so close though but okay

bye-bye have a game okay this is great

what's the game what's the game um well

it doesn't have a name no okay pH

ball no it doesn't have a name um okay

Monica what is your favorite thing about

trees

they're green good good Five Points all

right all right

Joey same

question uh oh H they're tall o three

points both fine answers but we were

looking for leafy

leafy that's not even a game

what shut up we're

winning you want to finish this right

now all right we get a deck of cards

high card wins what do you say fine

let's do it oh I have cards yeah here oh

no these are the trick deck okay here

yes okay okay you guys uh you guys pick

first okay

okay four that's a low one

right Phoebe you look I can't do it what

makes you think I

can why are you screaming and hugging oh

because we want our apartment back what

Ace is High Jack queen king Ace no Ace

is Low Ace 2 three

4 I don't

know look

it all right come on let's pick again

pick again right give me give me give me

okay okay come on apartment come on

apartment I know Queen is high not as

high

as it worked King messages for room 226

you okay sluga oh yeah I'm fine I'm

fine what is with you tonight nothing

nothing nothing

nothing okay thank

you it's the Italian hand liquor isn't

it no it's the one he's

licking she's supposed to be with you

you're

good oh Ross listen to me I have sold a

hundred million copies of my books and

you know why the girl on the cover with

her nipples

showing no because I know how to write

men that women fall in love with believe

me I cannot sell a poo people will not

turn 325 Pages for a PO come on the guy

a secondary character he's just a you

know a complication you eventually kill

off

when he's not a

hero you know who our hero is the guy on

the cover with his nipples

showing no it's you please no really

come on you're smart you're

sexy right kiddo you're going to be fine

believe me

[Applause]

uhoh uh I'll just pee in the

street oh this is so good you have got

to try it

oh damn I got it on my pants here I'll

get

it we better take these off upstairs or

that stain's going to set yep I want to

wear these pants on our dat tonight oh

great okay bye oh my God

that was unbelievable okay see I told

you yeah wow sorry r i don't believe

their brother and sister they brother

and sister all right keep going we are

phasing the accent out phasing it

out so without retesting their results

in the

laboratory the team would never have

identified the initial errors in their

carbon dating a ner

were there any questions at this

point yes what's happening to your

accents come again what's what's this

nonsense all right I'm I'm not

English I'm from Long

Island I was really nervous and the

accent just um just came out

I'm

sorry so if we could just get back to

the

lecture um were there any

questions about

paleontology hey everybody Happy

Thanksgiving hey Happy Thanksgiving THS

hey what's going on Joe so I I I need a

good lie oh okay how about the whole man

walking on the moon thing you know

you can you can see the strings

people no no no no I need a good lie to

explain why I wasn't at a work thing

today oh honey you stink it line well I

do not oh really okay let me ask you

something yesterday at the coffee house

I went to the bathroom and when I came

back my muffin was gone who took

it somebody opened the door to the

coffee house and a raccoon came running

in and went straight for your muffin I

said hey don't eat that that's Phoebe's

and he said

he said Joey you stink at lion what am I

going to do don't worry don't worry

we'll come up with a good lie I'll help

you practice it oh great that'd be great

thank you sure what what was the work

thing uh pick up Grandma at the airport

oh man on behalf of the brown birs of

America I salute

you just a minute Chie you have no

backhand excuse me little one I have a

very solid backhand shielding your face

and shrieking like a girl is not a

backhand I was

shrieking like a

marine all right here watch me execute

the three PS of championship play

Power

Precision and

Panache you broke a little girl's leg I

know I feel horrible okay says here that

a muppet got whacked on Sesame Street

last

night where exactly were you around

kennish hey Jack look in the window

there's my name hi

me I remember the day I got my first

paycheck there was a cave in in one of

the mines and eight people were

killed wow you worked in a mine I worked

in a Dairy Queen why

God isn't this exciting I earned this I

wiped tables for it I steamed milk for

it and it was

totally not worth

it who's F why is he getting all my

money I mean what Chandler look at

that oh this is not that bad oh you're

fine yeah for first job you can totally

totally live on this oh yeah

yeah hey by the way great service

[Music]

today Kathy Kathy hi Kathy

[Music]

Kathy Cy

[Music]

cavy

cavy hey chanler what are you doing

here I just want to say hey

hey

okay there's no way I'm going to get a

shot I maybe they can take the needle

and squirt it into my mouth you know

like like a squirt

gun hello there hi I'm Dr Carlin I see

someone's having a little allergic

reaction yes doctor can I see you for

just a moment

please my brother um has a slight phobia

about needles did you tell him about my

my squirt gun

idea my brother the PHD would like to

know if there's any way to treat this

orally no under these circumstances it

has to be an injection and it has to be

now

do all right that's good have the seat

um doctor says it's got to be a needle

so you're just going to have to be brave

okay can you do that for

me okay okay oh boy you are doing so

good you want to squeeze my hand yes

okay all right Ross don't squeeze it so

hard honey really don't squeeze it so

hard Ross I my hand

[Music]

Key Vocabulary

Vocabulary	Meanings
electric /ɪˈlɛktrɪk/ B1	adjective - relating to or using electricity.
drill /drɪl/ A2	noun - a tool for making holes.
calm /kɑːm/ A2	adjective - not showing or feeling nervousness, anger, or other emotions.
unit /ˈjuːnɪt/ A2	noun - a single thing or a group of things treated as one.
mine /maɪn/ A1	noun - a place where things are extracted from the earth.
reader /ˈriːdər/ A2	noun - a person who reads.
hypothesized /haɪˈpɒθɪsaɪzd/ C1	verb - to suggest an idea or explanation for something based on known facts.
Velociraptor /ˌvɛləˈsɪræptər/ B2	noun - a genus of bird-like dinosaur.
threatened /ˈθrɛtənd/ B1	adjective - feeling or showing fear that something bad or unpleasant will happen.
emit /ɪˈmɪt/ B2	verb - to produce or discharge something.
predator /ˈprɛdəṭər/ B2	noun - an animal that naturally preys on others.
conjecture /kənˈdʒɛktʃər/ C1	noun - an opinion or conclusion formed on the basis of incomplete information.
intimidating /ɪnˈtɪmɪdeɪtɪŋ/ B2	adjective - causing fear or a feeling of inferiority.
removal /rɪˈmuːvəl/ B1	noun - the act of taking something away.
glaucoma /ˌɡlɔːˈkoʊmə/ C1	noun - a condition of the eye that damages the optic nerve.
infection /ɪnˈfɛkʃən/ B1	noun - the invasion and multiplication of microorganisms in a body tissue.
impish /ˈɪmpɪʃ/ B2	adjective - mischievous or playfully naughty.

Key Grammar Structures

• oh sorry did I get you no you didn't get me it's an electric drill you get me you kill me

  ➔ Indirect Questions & Idiomatic Expressions

  ➔ The line uses an indirect question ("did I get you?") and the idiom "you get me, you kill me" which expresses amusement or exasperation. The structure 'you get me' functions as a colloquial way of saying 'I understand you'.

• calm down do you want this unit or not

  ➔ Imperative & Tag Questions

  ➔ "Calm down" is an imperative verb form giving a direct command. "Do you want this unit or not" is a tag question, offering a binary choice and expecting confirmation.

• and we're out of here okay I'm going to Monica's

  ➔ Contractions & Future with 'going to'

  ➔ "We're" is a contraction of "we are". "I'm going to Monica's" uses the 'going to' future to express a planned intention.

• fine and it was Ern molrat who first hypothesized that the Velociraptor when threatened would expand its collar and emit a high pitched noise to frighten off its Predator

  ➔ Cleft Sentences & Past Subjunctive

  ➔ The sentence uses a cleft sentence ("It was Ern Molrat who...") to emphasize who made the hypothesis. The 'would' construction suggests a hypothetical situation (the Velociraptor being threatened).

• oh my God what does that thing do uh that's an eye removal machine

  ➔ Exclamations & Discourse Markers

  ➔ "Oh my God" is an exclamation expressing surprise. "Uh" is a discourse marker indicating hesitation. The sentence demonstrates a quick, conversational exchange.