– English Lyrics

Lyrics & Translation

[English]

[music] In what John Houston film would

you hear this line? Badges. We don't

need no stinking badges.

>> Treasure of Sarah Madre.

>> Correct. There's a POSSIBLE BACKWARDS

BONUS.

>> MADRE SIERRA THE OF TREASURE.

>> YES. [laughter]

>> I'd like to go up the ladder of chance

to the golden mud hut, please.

>> Wise choice. How many rungs?

>> Six.

[screaming]

>> That noise [laughter] can only mean one

thing.

>> Hungry monkey.

>> I'd like a Wicked Wango card.

>> Okay. [laughter] It's an audio question.

Name this television theme song.

>> Oh my god. Okay, I know this. Give me

Give ME A SECOND.

>> TELL IT TO TIME TURTLE.

>> SHUT UP. [laughter] I DREAM OF DREAMS.

>> YES. YES. You're back in the lead.

>> I'd like to spin the wheel.

[laughter]

>> Super speedy speed round.

>> Is there a hopping bonus?

>> Of course.

>> [laughter]

>> Who invented bif focals?

>> Ben Franklin.

>> Correct. Which monarch has ruled Great

Britain the longest?

>> Queen Victoria.

>> Correct again. But you forgot to switch

LEGS BETWEEN QUESTIONS, SO NO HOPPING

BONUS.

>> OH, EVERY TIME.

>> Now [laughter]

over to Chandler.

>> I'd like a Google card.

>> Are you sure?

>> Yes. No.

Google.

[laughter]

>> Oh my god. Congratulations, Ross,

because Chandler, you've been

bamboozled.

>> THIS IS THE BEST GAME EVER.

>> WHAT I GOT GOING for the party so far,

liquor-wise,

get a lot of liquor.

>> Great. Great.

>> Okay. Now, uh, in terms of the invite

list, obviously I got you, me, and

Chandler, and I'm going to invite

Gunther because, well, we've been

talking about this pretty loud.

>> I'll be there.

Oh, listen. I know it's your party, but

I'd really like to limit the number of

museum geeks that are going to be there.

>> Yeah. Tell you what, let's not invite

any of the anthropologists. Okay. Just

the dinosaur dudes.

>> Okay. We need a six-ack of Zema.

>> Hey guys, what are you doing?

>> Oh, just planning my bachelor party with

my best man.

>> Yeah. Well, good luck trying to top the

last one.

>> Yeah. See, I don't think it's going to

be that difficult considering this one

won't take place in the basement of a

Pizza Hut.

>> Oh, I'm Ross. I'm Ross. I'm too good for

the hut. I'm too good for the hut.

[laughter]

>> Look, I got to go pick up Ben. Uh,

everything so far sounds great, Joey.

Just remember, keep it on the mellow

side, okay? Just a couple of guys

hanging out playing poker. No strippers

or anything. Okay,

>> you got it.

>> Okay, see you later.

>> Yeah.

>> Have fun planning your mellow bachelor

party.

Well, there's going to be strippers

there. You didn't say anything about no

strippers. [laughter]

>> He just said no strippers. Oh,

>> I chose not to hear that.

>> Hey, listen, man. About the stripper.

>> Yeah.

>> Good call. [laughter]

>> Little announcement. Little

announcement.

I've decided that my best man is my best

friend, Gunther.

>> What's my last name?

Central Perk.

[laughter]

>> Thanks for not marrying Rachel.

>> Hey. Oh, hey, Gunther. Don't Don't

forget your shirt.

>> Hey. Hey. What are those? Got little

party favors. Check it out.

>> Wow. Yeah. Oh. Oh. Oh.

>> A

little announcement. Just want everybody

to know that the position of my best man

is still open. And uh you know, so is

the position of the bride. [laughter]

>> Great.

>> Smooth, man. Yeah. You got some chili on

your neck.

>> Oh, I guess um good night.

>> Well, unless you uh unless you want to

hang around.

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah. I'll let you play with my duck.

[laughter]

[music]

Hey,

stripper.

[laughter]

[music]

>> THE STRIPPER STOLE THE RING. THE

STRIPPER STOLE the ring. TAYLOR, GET UP.

GET UP. THE STRIPPER STOLE THE RING.

>> WHAT? The ring is gone.

>> Okay, this give me a minute to wake up

for this.

>> You lost the ring. You're the worst best

man ever.

>> Dude, this isn't funny. What am I going

to do? I go to sleep last night.

Everything's cool. I wake up THIS

MORNING. THE STRIPPER'S GONE. AND THE

ring is gone. You slept with the

stripper? Of course. Let me see what you

wrote about yourself. Oh,

>> Dr. Paleontology. Two kids. Wait a

second. You split with Carol because you

had different interests.

>> I think you split with Carol because you

had one very similar interest.

>> You know what? I'm going to finish this

later. Okay. Let me just grab my coat.

>> Okay.

Well, did you think you learned how to

do it in the last two minutes?

[laughter]

Maybe we finish this for him.

[laughter]

Also, I cloned a dinosaur in my lab.

[laughter]

She is now my girlfriend.

I don't care what society says. It's the

best sex I've ever had. [laughter]

And send.

>> No. No.

>> You can't do that to him. All right,

let's go. Dude, uh, I think you made it

clear you can't be trusted with the ball

inside the house

[laughter]

>> and send

to go, believe me. But unfortunately, I

have to. Oh, um, by the way, what's the

name of the girl you're dating?

>> Kristen Lang.

>> Bye.

>> [music]

>> Well, obviously only one of us can keep

dating her.

>> Obviously.

So, how do we decide?

>> Well, now let's let's look at this

objectively.

I think I should date her.

[laughter]

>> Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Or or I'm the one who

dates her.

That's interesting. But check this out.

I date her.

>> Yeah. Yeah. I like that. But just to go

in another direction.

>> Okay. Okay. This can go on for a while.

>> Yeah. Well, we should order some food

then.

>> No. Joey, [laughter]

>> look. Why don't Why don't we just let

her decide? Okay. Hey. Hey. We'll each

go out with her one more time and and

we'll see who she likes best.

>> That sounds fair.

>> Maybe I'll take her to that new French

restaurant down the street.

>> Hey, wait a second. Now look, we're

going to have to set a spending limit on

the date. I don't have the money to take

her to a fancy place like that.

>> Well, sorry. That's what I do on dates.

>> All right. Well, I guess I just have to

do what I do on dates. [laughter]

>> So, let's decide on a spending limit.

>> Yeah.

Uh,

a slice

[laughter]

$6.

>> I was thinking more like a hundred.

>> Okay.

>> Can I borrow $94?

[whistles]

>> [whistles]

[laughter]

>> Joey. Ma.

Joey.

Chandler. What are you still doing here?

I thought you guys took off.

>> Oh, no. No. No. SHE TOOK OFF WITH MY

CLOTHES. [laughter]

>> Are you naked in there?

>> Well, not exactly.

[laughter]

I'm wearing panties.

Huh?

you uh you always wear panties.

>> No, no, this is the first time.

>> Wow, talk about your bad luck. I mean,

the first time you try panties and

someone walks off with your clothes.

[laughter]

>> I was not trying them out. Susie asked

me to wear them.

>> Well, let me see.

>> No,

I'm not letting you or anybody else see

ever.

>> All right. All right.

Whoa,

someone's flossing.

[cheering]

>> Joey, some people don't like that.

>> Chandler's wearing panties.

>> What?

>> Let me see.

>> No, no, you don't have to see.

[laughter]

>> Hi, Tushy.

All

right. One of you give me your

underpants.

>> Oh, no. No. No. Can't help you. I'm not

wearing any.

>> How can you not be wearing any

underwear?

>> Oh, I'm getting heat from the guy in the

hot pink thong.

>> All right. Look, Ross. I'll give you $50

for your underpants.

Hey, [laughter]

[cheering]

Chandler.

Chandler, I saw what you were doing

through the window. I saw WHAT YOU WERE

DOING TO MY SISTER. NOW GET OUT OF HERE.

[laughter]

>> LISTEN, we had a good run. You know,

what was it? Four, five months. I mean,

that's more than most people have in a

lifetime. So, goodbye. Take care.

Bye-bye then.

>> What are you doing?

>> Oh, I'm going on the lamb.

>> Come on, J. Come on. I can handle Ross.

Hold on.

>> Hey, Ross. What's up, bro? [laughter]

What

the HELL ARE YOU DOING?

>> HEY, WHAT'S what's going on?

>> Well, I think I think Ross knows about

me and Monica.

[laughter]

Dude, he's right there.

>> I thought you WERE MY BEST FRIEND. THIS

IS MY SISTER. My best friend. And my

sister. I I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS.

>> LOOK, we're not just messing around. I

love her, okay? I'm in love with her.

I'm so sorry that you had to find out

this way.

Sorry, but it's true. I I love him, too.

>> My best friend and my sister.

[cheering and applause]

I cannot believe this.

>> Oh, you guys want to probably get some

hugs in, too, huh? Big news.

No, that's okay. We've actually known

for a while.

[laughter]

>> What? What? What? You guys knew? You

>> You all knew and you didn't tell me?

>> Well, Ross, we were worried about you.

Okay. We didn't know how you were going

to react.

>> You were worried about me.

You didn't know how I was going to

react.

>> [laughter]

>> Okay. All right. What do you say we all

uh clear out of here and let these two

love birds get back down to business?

[laughter]

>> Hey, hey, hey. I'm just talking here. He

He's the one doing your sister.

>> Chance to win my money back. Okay.

Sudden death, one goal, $1,000.

>> You serious?

>> Oh, yes.

>> Okay. Get ready to owe me.

>> Okay.

>> Okay. Here we go. Ready?

Lord,

[laughter]

[cheering]

no no

one CAN BEAT ME.

>> [laughter]

>> SEE, NOW THAT'S WHY only the little fake

men are supposed to do the kicking.

[laughter]

>> What are you guys doing?

>> Try it. I can't feel a thing. [laughter]

[laughter]

>> Are you kidding?

This is packing.

>> We're taking a break

>> from

>> jumping on the bed.

>> All right. Rachel's party is in a couple

of hours and there's a lot to do. Now,

Ross, you've got Geller blood. You're in

charge of these yahoos.

>> You got it.

>> All right.

>> All right. She's right. We got to get

serious. Let's put styrofoam peanuts

down his pants and kick him.

Or you could just, you know,

[laughter]

what the hell are you doing? [laughter]

>> What the hell am I doing? You just broke

my fridge.

What? What? How do you know if How do

you know it's even broken? Oh, you think

I don't know what breaks my fridge?

[laughter]

Excuse me.

Well, what do you know? Broken.

That'll be $400.

[laughter]

>> Joey, I saw you push him.

[snorts]

>> You pushed him. [laughter]

>> Joey, I did not break this. Okay, that

has been broken for a while. [laughter]

>> Chen, remember I told you about our

fridge?

>> Uh-huh.

>> I still haven't gotten the check for

your half yet. [laughter]

Do not give him any money.

>> I'm not talking to you. YOU BROKE MY

FRIDGE.

>> I HAVE had enough of this. All right,

Gunther.

>> These guys are trying to take our seat.

>> Tell us these guys were here first.

>> Oh, sorry. Didn't realize.

>> There you go.

>> Thank you, Gunther. [laughter]

>> We didn't want to have to go and do

that.

>> [laughter]

>> He told on us.

>> You told on us.

>> Well, pal, you didn't give me much of a

choice.

[laughter]

>> Don't play with this thing.

>> I know.

[laughter]

>> All right,

let's take this outside.

[laughter]

>> Let's Let's take this outside.

Who talks like that?

The guy who's about to kick your ass

talks like that.

>> You had to ask.

>> Yeah.

[laughter]

>> Okay. Okay. Look. See, the thing is

we're we're not [laughter] going to

fight you guys.

>> Well, then here's the deal. You won't

have to so long as you never ever show

your faces in this coffee house ever

again.

>> I'd like to toast Ross and Emily. Of

course, my big toast will be tomorrow at

the wedding, so this is kind of my

little toast or or Melba toast, if you

will.

Okay.

I've [clears throat] known Ross for a

long time. In fact, I knew him when he

was going out with his first girlfriend,

and I thought things were really going

to work out for him until the day he

overinflated her.

[laughter]

Oh, dear God.

I'm sure we're all very excited. uh that

Ross and Emily are getting married at

Montgomery Hall. I mean to think my

friend getting married in Monty Hall.

Oh, come on. Monty Hall, LET'S MAKE A

DEAL. COME ON, YOU PEOPLE.

All right, forget it. Congratulations,

WLEY. [laughter]

[applause]

HEY, best man number two, Joey Triani.

Now, I'm not good with the jokes like

Chandler.

Dr.

>> It says to call this number if you're

not completely satisfied with this candy

bar.

[laughter]

>> Well, I'm not completely satisfied.

[laughter]

>> Listen, it's kind of an emergency. Well,

I guess you'd know that or we'd be in

the predicament room.

[laughter]

>> Hold on. Fill these out. Sit over there.

>> Look, look, look, look. I don't want to

make any trouble, okay? But I'm in a lot

of pain here, all right? My face is

dented.

>> Well, you'll have to wait your turn.

>> Well, how long do you think it'll be?

>> Any minute now.

>> No, no, no. I don't think you heard me.

Are you ready to party?

[laughter]

>> No.

Gandalf. Gandalf is coming to town.

>> Kathy's with her parents. I have nothing

to do. So, tomorrow we are partying with

Gandalf. Dude,

>> dude, we are so going to party.

>> Wow. Okay, dude alert.

[laughter]

>> And who is this guy?

>> Mike Gandalf Ganderson. Only like the

funnest guy in the world.

>> I'm going to call and get off work

tomorrow.

>> I'm going to call after you.

>> This is going to be so cool, dude. We

never party anymore.

[laughter]

>> All right. Were you guys smoking

something in the back of our van?

[laughter]

>> Really? And what do you mean we never

have fun anymore? You have fun with me?

Remember the time we saw those

strippers, then you paid me 50 bucks to

eat that book?

>> Joey, you are going to love this guy.

Gandalf is like the party wizard.

>> Well, why do you call him Gandalf?

>> Gandalf the wizard.

>> Hello. Didn't you read Lord of the Rings

in high school?

No, I had sex in high school.

>> All right. So, we'll get a little

coffee, we'll get energized, and we'll

head back out. Yeah.

>> All right. Okay.

>> So, we're having fun, right? We don't

need that wizard guy. We hit a couple of

clubs, talk to some strangers, and uh

after this, we'll go down to the docks

and see about that boat thing.

>> I'm kind of beat,

>> actually.

Me, too. [laughter]

>> You serious?

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah. Thank God I'm exhausted.

>> So, you guys want coffees?

>> Yeah, but uh I don't want to be up too

late, so I'll have a decaf.

>> Yeah, me too.

>> Actually, can I get some hot water with

a little lemon?

Hey, I strain my voice screaming in

there. Does it have to be so loud?

>> I [laughter] can't hear a word you're

saying. My ears are ringing so bad. I'm

just glad I brought that extra pair of

socks. You know, I used them as mittens.

I didn't want to touch a thing in that

last play. [laughter]

How sad are we?

I know.

You know what? We're not sad. We're not

sad. We're just not 21 anymore. You

know, I'm 29 years old, damn it. And I

want to sit in a comfortable chair and

watch television and go to sleep at a

reasonable hour.

>> Yeah. [laughter] Yeah. And I like to

hang out in a quiet place where I could

talk to my friends.

>> Yeah.

>> And so what if I like to go home, throw

on some Kenny G, and take a bath?

[laughter]

>> We're 29. We're not women.

>> Very glad that you saved Ross when the

car backfired, but it could have been a

bullet. And you, you know, you didn't

try to save me.

>> Oh, you're upset because you think I

chose Ross over you. No, I knew you

could take care of yourself. You know, I

mean, Ross, he needs help. He's not

street like us.

>> What it comes down to is you would risk

your life for Ross before you would for

me. That's the bottom line.

>> No, not exactly. All right. Look, I I

wasn't trying to save Ross,

okay?

My sandwich was next to Ross. All

right.

I I was trying to save my sandwich.

>> From a bullet. [laughter]

I know it doesn't make much sense.

>> Much sense.

>> Chandler, it was instinct. OKAY. I JUST

went for it. So, you risked your life

for a sandwich. I know it sounds crazy,

but Chandler, this is the greatest

sandwich in the world. [laughter]

So, you didn't uh choose Ross before me?

>> No, I would never do that. You You're

like my brother.

>> Really?

>> Yeah. In fact, to prove how much you

mean to me.

[laughter]

Here.

Thanks. Oh, easy. It's not a hot dog.

How good is that?

[laughter]

>> See?

>> Mhm.

>> Hey. Oh, dude. What are you doing?

>> I thought you were showing me how much I

mean to you.

>> Yeah, with a bite.

>> Jeez. Hey, wouldn't it be cool if our

duck and our chick had a little baby? We

could call it Chuck

[laughter]

or Dick.

Hey,

>> hey, hey.

>> Listen, I I need a favor. Um, I was in

the shower and as I was cleansing

myself, I uh I I Well, I felt something.

>> Was it like a sneeze only better?

>> No, no, I mean I mean like a thing on my

body.

>> What was it?

>> Well, I I don't know. It's It's kind of

in a place that's not It's not visually

accessible to me. And I was Hoping maybe

you guys could could help me out.

[laughter]

>> Come on, you guys. It's no big deal.

Just die.

[laughter]

>> Huh?

>> What is it? Is it a mole?

[laughter]

>> No, it's too wrinkly to be a mole.

>> Ew. Is it what? A pimple?

[laughter]

>> No, it's

fancier than a pimple.

Look, Ross, why don't you just go see a

[laughter]

>> Okay. Well, it's definite two more weeks

of winter,

>> right? Time Square. We're in a virtual

confetti.

>> Go kids.

>> And then the peacock bit me. [laughter]

Please kiss me at midnight.

You seen Sandy? Uh, I don't know how to

tell you this, but uh, she's in Monica's

bedroom getting it on with Max, that

scientist geek.

Oh, look at that. I didn't know how to

tell you. [laughter]

>> Everybody, the ball is dropping.

>> What?

>> The ball is dripping

[laughter]

>> and the moment of joy is upon us.

Looks like that no date pack thing

worked out.

>> Everybody looks so happy. I hate that.

>> Not everybody's happy.

>> Hey, Bobby.

[laughter]

[cheering]

>> You know, I uh just thought I'd throw

this out here. I'm no math wiz, but I do

believe there are three girls and three

guys right here.

>> Mhm.

>> Oh, I don't feel like kissing anyone

tonight.

I can't kiss anyone.

>> So, I'm kissing everyone.

>> No, no, no. You can't kiss Ross. That's

your brother.

>> Oh, yeah.

>> Oh, [laughter] perfect. Perfect. So, now

everybody's getting kissed but me. All

right. Somebody kiss me.

>> SOMEBODY KISS ME. IT'S MIDNIGHT.

SOMEBODY KISS ME. IT'S MIDNIGHT. IT'S

ONE GAME.

[laughter]

>> Emily's cousin kicked me out.

>> What?

>> Why? Well, when you're subletending an

apartment from your wife's cousin and

then you get a divorce, sometimes the

cousin suddenly wants his apartment

back. Well,

>> how can you do that? Didn't you sign a

lease?

>> Who needs a lease when it's family?

>> Hey, you can stay with us. We'll take

care of it.

>> Absolutely. Anything you need, man. But

you have to promise me you will let us

know the second you are feeling better

so that we can make fun of your hair.

>> Yeah, [laughter]

>> you got it. Okay.

>> Thanks you guys. I really appreciate

this. All right. I'm going to get

packing again. Man, I've been moving

around so much lately. I'm beginning to

feel like a nomad.

[laughter]

>> What?

>> He thought you said go, Ned.

[laughter]

>> Joey, please.

>> Sorry.

Hello children. Hey, want to play some

foosball, please?

Okay. No, no, no. We have to move the

table into my room. Yeah, because of all

the boxes. Come on.

[laughter]

All right. I have one question. What is

the deal with this?

Bye-bye little puppet joey hand.

[laughter]

The quiet down thing. You mean this?

Mhm. [laughter]

Look, I I I don't know how much more of

this I can take. Did you know he taped

over my Baywatch tape with some show

about bugs? [laughter]

My god. What if that had been porn? Huh?

All right, look. You know, this may be

tough, but come on. It's Ross. I

survived college with him.

>> All right, I guess I can hold out a

little longer. Let's have a game.

>> Okay.

Yes.

Uh, fellas.

[laughter]

>> Okay. So, he's out of here.

>> Mhm.

Welcome to the Ches Inn, Mr. Bing. So,

where are you joining us from?

>> New York.

>> The Big Apple.

>> I'm sorry. He's a little bit wound up.

We had to stop at every maple candy

stand on the way here.

>> I ate all my gifts for everybody.

>> I'm sorry, Mr. Bing. There's no record

of your reservation in the computer.

>> Well, that's impossible. Can you check

again, please?

>> Check again, please.

[laughter]

>> I'm sorry. It's not here.

>> Not there.

Let me get this straight. I called

yesterday to try to cancel my

reservation. Was told it's not

refundable. Then we drove 6 hours all

the way up here. And now you're telling

me that we don't have a reservation.

>> I don't know what to say.

>> She doesn't know what to say.

>> Just give us the cheapest room you have.

>> Well, unfortunately, the only thing we

have available is our deluxe suite. The

rate is $600.

>> That's insane. It is totally insane.

Dude, let's drive home. We'll hit all

the maple candy stores on the way back

and if if they're closed then maybe

we'll we'll tap a tree and make some

ourselves.

[laughter]

>> Does that room have a closet I can lock

him in?

[laughter]

>> We'll take it.

>> Great.

>> But they are totally ripping us off.

Dude, don't worry about it. I know how

we can make your money back. This is a

nice hotel. You know, plenty of

amenities. We just load up on those.

Like those apples instead of taking one.

Um, I take six.

>> Great. At $100 an apple, we're there.

[laughter]

>> Come on. You You get the idea. You know,

we'll make our money back in no time.

>> Dude, you're shaking.

>> I think it's the sugar. Could you hold

the apple? [laughter]

>> Hi, this is Ross Geller in sweet 206.

Um, I seem to have forgotten a couple of

things. Could Could you have some

complimentary toiletries sent up to my

room?

Thank you. Okay. Toothbrush, toothpaste,

razor, mouthwash, deodorant, dental

floss, band-aids, shaving cream, after

shave, and I feel like I'm forgetting

something. Um, is there anything else

you have that I haven't asked for

already? [laughter]

Yeah, go ahead. Set up some tampons.

>> What'd you get? USA Today.

>> Nice. Put them with the others. And I

also got two more apples.

>> We're four short of a bushel.

>> God, I feel so alive. I love being in

the country.

>> Also got these great salt and pepper

shakers from the restaurant.

>> Oh, that's not cool.

>> Dude, none of this is cool.

Look, Chandler, you you have to find the

line between stealing and and taking

what the hotel owes you. Um, for

example, a haird dryer. No, no, no. But

shampoos and conditioners. Oh, yes, yes,

yes.

Now, the the salt shaker is off limits,

but the salt

I wish I'd thought this through.

[laughter]

>> I think I get what you mean, though.

Like the the lamp is uh is the hotels,

but the bulbs.

>> Oh, you you already got that.

>> Not my first time in a hotel, my friend.

>> Okay. Uh how about this?

>> No, no, no. You can't take the remote

control.

>> Yes, but the batteries.

[applause]

>> Thank you. Thank you very much.

>> Let's Let's celebrate with some maple

candy.

>> No.

>> At least tell me where you hit it.

>> Here's your copy of the bill. We hope

you enjoyed your stay.

>> Oh, we did. And you still have all your

lamps. [laughter]

Oh, I didn't factor in the room tax.

>> Oh, dude, don't worry about it. Uh, I

found an unattended maid's card. We're

way ahead of the game.

[laughter]

>> Oh my god.

>> What?

>> There's There's something new in the

bowl.

>> Look, we have enough. Just walk away.

>> Oh, but I I want I want the pine cones.

[laughter]

>> There's a forest right outside.

>> It's not the same. Okay, go quick.

>> Go. GO.

[cheering]

>> Thank you for a delightful stay.

[cheering]

>> My maple candy.

>> Die hard. Still great.

>> Yeah.

Hey, what do you say we make it a double

feature?

>> What else you in?

>> Die Hard 2. [laughter]

>> Joey, this is Die Hard one again.

>> Well, we watched it a second time and

it's Die Hard, too.

>> Joey, we just saw it and

>> and it would be cool to see it again.

>> Yeah, Die Hard.

>> Dude, you didn't say Die Hard.

Is everything okay? [laughter]

>> Yeah, I just got I got plans.

>> Well, John Mlan had plans.

>> No, you see the thing is I want to get

out of here before Joey gets all worked

up and starts calling everybody

>> What are you talking about,

[music]

>> [laughter]

[laughter]

[applause]

>> What happened?

>> I don't know. [laughter] You fell

asleep. That is all.

>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

>> All right. Well, uh, I better go.

>> Yeah. I think that would be best.

All right. I'll talk to you later.

>> Okay. But not about this.

>> No, never.

>> Never.

>> So, uh, uh,

>> bye.

>> No touch. No touch.

>> It's going to be okay, right? I mean,

she's not going to leave me. This is

this is fixable.

>> Oh,

>> yeah. Yeah, sure. Absolutely.

>> By me.

>> Oh, no.

>> No. No.

>> Well, unless you make some kind of big

gesture.

>> Yeah. Big though.

Oh The misses

here.

>> Can I Can I get a coffee

>> to go?

Monica,

>> I'm I'm still not done not wanting to

talk to you.

>> Just tell me what I need to do to make

things right.

>> What?

>> Well, that's what we do. You know, I I

mess up and then you tell me how to fix

it and then I do and then, you know, you

think I'm all cute again.

[laughter]

I'm

>> really I'm really tired of being your

relationship tutor. You're going to have

to figure this one out for yourself,

right? You know what? You're too afraid

to be in a real relationship, then don't

be in one.

>> All right, I took the quiz and it turns

out I do put career before men.

[laughter]

Get up.

>> What?

>> Near my seat.

>> How is this your seat? Cuz

I was sitting there,

>> but then you left.

>> Well, it's not like I went to Spain.

I went to the bathroom. You knew I was

coming back.

>> What's the big deal? Sit somewhere else.

>> The big deal is I was sitting there

last, so it's my seat. [laughter]

>> Well, actually, the last place you were

sitting was in there. So,

>> you guys, you know what? You know what?

It doesn't matter because you both have

to go get dressed before the big vein in

my head pops. So,

>> all right, Ross. I just have to do one

thing really quickly. It's not a big

deal. Get up.

>> All right, fine. You know what? We'll

both sit in the chair.

>> Fine with me.

[laughter]

>> I'm so comfortable.

>> Me, too. In fact, I think I might be a

little too comfortable. All right.

>> Okay. Look, we have 19 minutes, okay,

Chandler, I want you to go and change,

okay? And then when you come back, Joey

will go change and he'll have vacated

the chair. Okay? Okay.

>> All right. Fine. I'm going. But when I

GET BACK, IT'S CHAIR SITTING AND I'M THE

GUY who's sitting in a chair.

>> All right. You will notice that I am

fully dressed. I in turn have noticed

that you are not.

So in the words of aa mil get out of my

chair dealhole.

>> Okay.

[cheering]

[applause]

[laughter]

>> What are you doing?

>> Well, you said I had to give you the

chair. You didn't see anything about the

cushions.

>> The cushions are the essence of the

chair.

>> That's right. I'm taking the essence.

He'll be back.

Oh, there's nobody in the room.

>> Where's my underwear? Whoa, whoa, whoa,

>> whoa, whoa. Come on. Come on. What? You

took his underwear?

>> He took my essence.

>> Okay, hold on,

>> Joey. Why Why can't you just wear the

underwear you're wearing now?

>> Cuz I'm not wearing any underwear now.

[cheering]

>> Okay. Um, then why do you have to wear

underwear tonight?

>> It's a rented tux. Okay. Not going to go

commando in another man's fatigues.

Well, then it looks like somebody's

going to have to give somebody back his

cushions.

>> Okay, you hide my clothes. I'm going to

do the exact opposite to you.

What are you What are you going to show

me my clothes? Hey, opposite

is opposite.

[laughter]

He's got nothing.

>> [cheering]

[applause]

>> Okay, buddy boy. Here it is.

You hide my clothes, I'm wearing

everything you own.

Oh my god,

[laughter]

that is so not THE OPPOSITE OF TAKING

SOMEBODY'S UNDERWEAR.

Look at me. I'm Chandler. Could I be

wearing any more clothes?

Maybe if I wasn't going commando.

Yeah.

I'll tell you, it's hot with all this

stuff on. I uh I better not do any I

don't know, lunges.

Okay. Okay. Enough. Enough with the

lunging. No, I'm sick of this. Okay.

I've had up to here with you two.

Neither of you can come to the party.

Jeez, what a baby.

[music]

Key Vocabulary

Vocabulary	Meanings
bamboozled /bæmˈbuːzəld/ B2	verb - to deceive or confuse someone
stripper /ˈstrɪpər/ A2	noun - a person who removes their clothes for entertainment
mellow /ˈmɛloʊ/ B1	adjective - calm, gentle, and relaxed
bachelor /ˈbætʃələr/ A2	noun - an unmarried man
anthropologists /ænθrəˈpɒlədʒɪsts/ B2	noun - experts in the study of human cultures and societies
dinosaur /ˈdaɪnəsɔːr/ A2	noun - a large extinct reptile from the Mesozoic era
paleontology /ˌpeɪliɒnˈtɒlədʒi/ C1	noun - the study of fossils and ancient life forms
clone /kloʊn/ B1	verb - to create an exact genetic copy of something
toast /toʊst/ A2	noun - a speech of congratulations or honor
wedding /ˈwɛdɪŋ/ A1	noun - a ceremony where two people get married
best man /bɛst mæn/ A1	noun - the male attendant of the groom at a wedding
party /ˈpɑːrti/ A1	noun - a social gathering for fun or celebration
invite /ɪnˈvaɪt/ A2	verb - to ask someone to come to an event
geeks /giːks/ A2	noun - people who are very interested in a particular subject, often technology
favor /ˈfeɪvər/ A2	noun - a kind act or gift given to someone

Key Grammar Structures

• We don't need no stinking badges.

  ➔ Double negative

  ➔ The word "don't" is a negative auxiliary used with the base verb "need"; "no" adds another negation, creating a double negative.

• I'd like to go up the ladder of chance to the golden mud hut, please.

  ➔ Polite request with "would like" + infinitive

  ➔ The phrase "I'd like" (short for "I would like") functions as a polite way to express a desire, followed by the infinitive "to go".

• I don't care what society says.

  ➔ Negative verb + content clause

  ➔ The negative verb "don't" is followed by the infinitive "care" and a content clause "what society says" that functions as its object.

• I think I should date her.

  ➔ Modal verb "should" for advice

  ➔ The modal "should" after "I think" expresses a recommendation: "I think "should" [verb]".

• I had forgotten a couple of things.

  ➔ Past perfect

  ➔ The auxiliary "had" + past participle "forgotten" forms the past perfect, indicating an action completed before another past moment.

• I am wearing panties.

  ➔ Present continuous for temporary state

  ➔ "Am" + present participle "wearing" shows an action happening right now, describing a temporary condition.

• I can't hear a word you're saying.

  ➔ Modal verb "can't" for inability

  ➔ "Can't" (cannot) expresses inability; it is followed by the base verb "hear" and the object clause "a word you're saying".

• You can't take the remote control.

  ➔ Modal verb "can't" for prohibition

  ➔ Here "can't" conveys a rule or prohibition: you are not allowed to take the remote.

• We'll take it outside.

  ➔ Simple future with "will"

  ➔ "Will" + base verb "take" forms the simple future, indicating a decision made for the near future.