– English Lyrics

Lyrics & Translation

[English]

Oh god.

[Applause]

>> What the hell are you doing? You scared

the crap out of me.

>> Was that the cake?

>> Yeah. Yeah. I got a lemon smoosh.

>> Come on. She'll be here any minute.

Hope it's okay.

>> Happy birthday, Pei.

>> Well, maybe we can make a a bee out of

one of those roses.

>> Yeah, we'll just use our special cake

tools.

>> Okay, what's going on?

[Applause]

>> Oh my god, it's so great.

>> Hope you enjoyed your stay.

>> Oh, we did. And you still have all your

lamps.

I didn't factor in the room tax.

>> Oh, dude, don't worry about it. Uh, I

found an unattended maid's card. We're

way ahead of the game.

>> Oh my god.

>> What?

>> There's There's something new in the

bowl.

>> Look, we have enough. Just walk away.

>> No, but I I want I want the pine cones.

>> There's a forest right outside.

>> It's not the same. Okay, go quick.

Thank you for a delightful stay.

>> My maple candy

family are gathered to celebrate here

today the joyous union of Ross and

Emily. Now, Ross, repeat after me. I

Ross,

>> I Ross, take thee, Emily. Take thee,

Rachel.

>> Emily.

Emily.

Shall I go on?

>> He He said Rachel, right? Do you think I

should go up there?

>> Yes. Yes, do go on. I think we better

start again.

>> Yes. Ross, repeat after me. I, Ross.

>> I, Ross.

>> Take the Emily.

Take the Emily.

Like think like there'd be anybody else.

>> As my lawfully wed in sickness and in

health, till death pass us. as my

lawfully wedded wife in sickness and in

health until death parts us. Really? I

do. Emily,

you have the rings.

Emily, place this ring on Ross's finger

as a symbol of your bond everlasting.

Ross, place this ring in Emily's hand as

a symbol of the love that encircles you

forever.

>> Happy to.

Ross and Emily have made their

declaration, and it gives me great

pleasure to declare them husband and

wife.

You may kiss the bride.

This is worse than when he married the

lesbian.

[Music]

>> Just keep smiling.

>> Okay.

>> Well, that went well. Yeah.

>> Could have been worse. He could have

shot her.

That uh That was pretty funny, wasn't

it?

I'm here for Ross Geller's memorial

service.

>> Corey. Corey Weston.

>> Yeah.

>> You look amazing.

>> And you are

>> Chandler. Chandler Bang. And I'm not

gay. I'm not gay at all.

>> You are married though.

>> Don't listen to him. He's in a really

bad mood.

>> I can't believe that Ross is gone. It is

just so sad. I didn't know Ross and you

were so close.

>> Oh, we weren't. But we had one class

together. He was such a great guy and he

talked so passionately about science.

>> I always remembered him.

>> I'm sure that would mean a lot to him.

And if heaven has a door, I'm sure he's

pressing his ear up against it and

listening intently.

>> I thought so many times about calling

him and asking him out. I guess I really

missed my chance.

>> Oh, you didn't.

I'm still alive.

>> Cory, I I know this is a big surprise

for you. It's a long story, but the

things you just said really made my day.

I mean, the fact that you're here means

more to me than than if this room were

filled with people.

>> You sick freak. Who does that? I can't

believe I had a crush on you.

Did you hear that? Corey Weston had a

crush on me.

>> This way is on. So this is

off.

>> Did you just break the radiator?

>> No. No. I was turning the knob and and

here it is.

>> Well, put it back.

It uh it won't go back.

>> Call the super. Here, let me try.

>> Oh. Oh, that's right. I forgot about

your ability to fuse metal.

>> Hey, it's Funny's cousin. Not funny. Hi,

Mr. Triger. Hi, it's Rachel Green from

upstairs. Yes, somebody uh broke our

knob on the radiator and it's really hot

in here.

Yes, it's it's hot enough to bake

cookies.

Well, well, do you think we could have a

new one by 6?

>> What? No. No. Tuesday. We can't wait

until Tuesday. We're having a party

tonight.

>> Okay. Tip the man.

>> No. If he doesn't like our cookies, too

bad. I'm not going to be blackmailed.

>> Look, if worst comes to worse, it gets a

little warm. We'll call it a theme

party.

>> Hey, here's a theme. Come on in. Live

like bacon.

>> Hey,

>> what's up?

You know. Oh my god.

>> What happened to your teeth?

>> I whitened them.

>> Really?

>> Yeah. What do you think?

>> Well, I think I shouldn't look directly

at them.

>> Come on. Seriously.

>> What if they're really really really

white?

>> Yeah. What was wrong with your old human

teeth?

I I did leave the gel on a little longer

than it said to.

>> How much longer?

>> Uh, a day.

>> You know that tonight is your date with

Hillary.

>> I know. Well, that's why I did it. Come

on. Are they really that bad?

>> No, no, no, no. You You'll be fine.

Hillary's blind, right?

>> She will be after tonight.

>> Oh, hey. Hey, Ra. Uh, do you notice

anything?

>> Yeah, your teeth. Yes, I saw them from

outside.

[Music]

Okay, maybe this will make your teeth

look less white.

>> Nope.

Nope. Okay, so uh colors that don't work

are blue, yellow, green, red, black,

white, orange, and purple.

>> I don't know what I'm going to do. The

date starts in like an hour.

>> Hey, Ross. Maybe if your skin was

lighter, your teeth wouldn't look so

bright.

>> Oh, great. So, all I need to do is get

some new skin. Thank you.

>> Just saying if you put just a little bit

of makeup on.

>> Whoa, whoa, whoa. We're not 13 anymore.

>> Russ, this is the only thing left that

has a shot at working.

>> But won't she notice I have makeup on?

>> Please. Half the guys out there have

makeup on.

>> What?

>> Half the people. I mean, But just try it

and see.

>> No, I am not putting on makeup.

>> Hello. Oh, good. Ross, could you put up

some of these flyers for me?

>> No. Damon. Damon.

>> And after that, what could I do except

become a chef?

>> Mhm.

>> And someday soon, I hope to open my own

restaurant. M

>> you know, you're a really great

listener. Most guys I go out with, they

just talk and talk.

>> After a while, it's just like shut your

mouth. You know,

>> I've probably been talking too much. Why

don't we talk about you a little bit?

>> Come on. I want to know.

>> Okay. I um I'm from Long Island. I uh

came to the city for college. Um I uh I

have a a 5-year-old son and I in my

spare time I I like to read spy novels.

But but let's talk more about you. H

>> I've had a really good time tonight.

>> You know, I rarely connect with someone

this much on the first date.

>> Me neither.

I I've had a really good time, too, you

know.

>> Are you going to eat that bread?

>> Oh, I I just like the smell.

>> You make me laugh.

>> Would you like to move over to the

couch?

>> Mhm.

>> Maybe I'll just turn down the lights a

little.

How about all the way?

Okay.

>> Wow. Cool poster. Or should I say groovy

poster.

So, uh,

where were we?

[Applause]

>> Are those your teeth? Oh,

you you you can see them, huh?

>> Yes, they're insanely white.

>> Yeah, I I did that for you.

>> What's the matter with you?

>> What's the matter with me? You've got a

black light. It's 1999.

>> But I told you on the phone, I don't

have time to stop.

>> Okay, you don't have to stop. I'm

invisible. I'm not here.

>> Yeah, but I don't

Who approved that order? Well, there is

no Mark Robinson in this office. Get me

Mark on the phone. I love Mark. Do you

know Mark? Yeah.

>> Well, let me just check up with what

I've got here. All right. See, 038 is

not the number for this score. 038 is

Atlanta.

>> Pepper.

>> None for me.

I'm sorry. As I was saying, the store

number is wrong and I'm sorry, but that

Oh my god.

>> Okay.

>> Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

>> Excuse me. I'm sorry. I'm going to have

to call you back. I've got shmp in my

office.

>> What are you doing?

>> I'm sorry, but um Hey. Oh, somebody's

off the phone. How about a glass of wine

by the fire? I'd get it going again if

you Maybe we should go.

>> No, you guys, you really don't have to

go. We're done talking.

>> Come on. Look, I know how you must.

>> No, you don't. Ross, imagine

the worst things you think about

yourself. Now, how would you feel if the

one person that you trusted the most in

the world not only thinks them too, but

actually uses them as reasons not to be

with you?

>> No, but but see, I want to be with you

in spite of all those things.

Oh, well that's that's mighty big of

you, Ross. I said don't go.

>> You know what? You know what? If if

things were the other way around, there

is nothing you could put on a list that

would that would ever make me not want

to be with you.

>> Well, then I guess that's the difference

between us. See, God never make a list.

[Music]

What is that?

>> I think it's the dying cat parade.

>> Sounds like it's coming from across the

street.

>> Oh my god.

>> What?

>> You know that thing that Ross was going

to do at our wedding? He was hanging out

with me yesterday and he turned to me

and he said, "You're half Scottish,

right?"

>> No, there is no way to not be Ross.

[Music]

Why is your family Scottish?

>> Why is your family Ross?

>> You cannot play our wedding. I mean,

everyone will leave. I mean, come on.

That is just noise.

It's not even a song.

If you listen very carefully, I think

it's celebration by calling the gang.

[Music]

>> Well, I feel like a snack.

>> Do you want some shortbread? It's

Scottish like you are.

>> Oh, no thanks. I don't like anything

from my Scottish heritage. What?

Well, just my entire family was run out

of Scotland by

Vikings.

>> Well, it sounds to me like your family's

ready to uh rediscover its Scottish

roots.

>> You can't play bag pipes at the wedding.

>> How did you know about that?

>> We heard you play all the way from your

apartment.

>> Were you the ones who called the cops?

>> That's not really important right now.

What is important is while we appreciate

the gesture, we just don't feel that bag

pipes are appropriate for our wedding.

>> Why not?

>> Because we hate them.

>> Just just give me a chance to perform

for you and then decide whatever you

want. And I'm not going to tell you what

song I'm going to play either, but uh

let's just say when it's over, I'll bet

there'll be a wee bit o celebration.

Remember,

I'm I'm still learning.

[Music]

>> 1 2 3 4

[Applause]

[Music]

You know the song. Sing along.

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

So,

>> no.

[Music]

>> Oh, isn't this nice? So quiet. I could

just lie here all day.

>> Oh, no.

>> Open your drapes. Open your drapes.

>> So glad we got adjoining rooms.

The sun is out.

>> Hey, remember when I had cornneas?

>> Okay, listen. You go down to the pool

and reserve the chairs and I'll get the

magazines and the lotion.

>> Uh, ladies, Ross's speech is in 45

minutes.

>> Damn it.

>> Walls are pretty thin, guys.

>> Then we have to weigh the data from

recent MRI scans and DNA testing.

which call into question information

gathered from years of simple carbon

dating.

>> Got that woman sitting out by the pool

getting tan

>> material

all leathery and wrinkled. I'm so

jealous.

>> Finally, factor in the profusion of new

species recently discovered.

Gigantosaurus,

Argentinosaurus,

>> not to mention Coldaurus.

And that's just the herbivores. I'm not

even going to discuss the carnivores.

Their heads are already too big, which

is ironic considering their stunted

cerebral development.

[Laughter]

>> Really?

>> So that's two boxes of the holiday

macaroons.

On behalf of the Brownirds of America, I

salute you.

Just a minute, Charlie. You have no

backhand.

>> Excuse me, little one. I have a very

solid backhand.

>> Shielding your face and shrieking like a

girl's not a backhand.

>> I was shrieking

like a marine.

All right, here. Watch me execute the

three Ps of championship play. Power,

precision, and patch.

You broke a little girl's leg.

>> I know. I feel horrible. Okay. Says here

that a muppet got whacked on Sesame

Street last night.

Where exactly were you around Kenish?

>> Do you not want to be seen with me?

>> What? No. Of of course I do. Are are

they gone?

>> Uh, no. They're still here. But I think

I'm about to leave.

>> What? No. No, wait. What?

You're right. This is stupid. Who cares

what people think? I mean, we we like

each other, right? There's nothing wrong

with that.

Come on,

Bert. Lydia, Mel,

>> this is Elizabeth.

>> Hi.

>> Aren't you in my popular culture class?

>> That's right, Lydia. Elizabeth here is a

student and uh we're dating and you may

frown upon that, but we're not going to

hide it anymore.

You are so fired.

What? They're going to fire you. You

can't date a student. It's against the

rules. Really? It's not just frowned

upon. It

>> was a mistake. I made a mistake. Okay.

>> A mistake? What were you trying to put

it in? Her purse.

Where? Where did he put it?

>> Ros, you had sex with another woman.

>> Oh my god.

>> Oh god. I knew something had to be wrong

because my fingernails did not grow at

all yesterday.

>> Yeah. Well, I guess they had a fight and

he got drunk.

>> You guys knew about this and you didn't

tell us.

>> He had sex and we get hit in our heads.

>> You know what? I want you to leave. Get

out of here. Just get out. No, I know. I

want to stay. I want to talk about this.

>> Okay. All right. How was she?

>> Uh-oh.

>> What

>> was she good?

>> Don't answer that.

>> I know. She said you wanted to talk

about it. Let's talk about it. How was

she?

>> She was

>> awful.

>> She was not good. Not good.

>> Nothing compared to you.

She She was different. Oh.

>> Uhoh.

>> Good. Different.

>> Nobody likes change.

>> Should we do something?

>> Yeah. Never cheat on Rachel.

>> I'm sorry. Okay. I'm sorry. I I was

disgusted with myself and then this

morning I was so I was I was so upset

and then I got your message and I was so

happy and all I wanted was to get her

out of my apartment as fast as possible.

>> Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a minute.

>> What time did your little friend leave?

>> Oh my god. She was there.

>> She was still there. She was in there

when I was in there.

ask you.

>> Listen. Oh, hey. Hey, the important

thing is she meant she meant nothing to

me.

>> And yet, she was worth jeopardizing our

relationship.

>> Look, I didn't think there was a

relationship to jeopardize. I thought we

were broken up.

>> We were on a break.

>> That, for all I knew, could last

forever. That to me is a break up.

>> You think you're going to get out of

this on a technicality?

>> I'm not trying to get out of anything,

okay? I thought our relationship was

dead. Well, you sure had a hell of a

time at the wake.

>> You know what? I don't think we should

listen to this anymore.

>> What are you doing? I can't go out

there.

>> Why not? I'm hungry.

>> Because they'll know we've been

listening. God, I'd have to hear about

it from Gunther.

>> Come on. Like I wanted him to tell you,

I ran all over the place trying to make

sure that didn't happen.

>> Oh, that is so sweet.

I think I'm falling in love with you all

over again.

>> You know what? I think we can go out

there. I mean, they have more important

things to worry about.

>> Yeah, we'll be fine.

>> Look, Rachel, I wanted to tell you. I

thought I should. I I did. And then

Chandler and Joey convinced me not to.

>> Wax the door shut. We're never leaving.

[Music]

Key Vocabulary

Vocabulary	Meanings
celebrate /ˈsɛl.ɪˌbreɪt/ B2	verb - to observe or honor an event with festivities
wedding /ˈwɛd.ɪŋ/ B1	noun - a marriage ceremony
marriage /ˈmær.ɪdʒ/ B1	noun - the legally or formally recognized union of two people as partners in a personal relationship
bond /bɒnd/ B2	noun - a strong connection or relationship between people verb - to join or fasten securely
everlasting /ˌɛv.əˈlæst.ɪŋ/ C1	adjective - continuing forever; eternal
pleasure /ˈplɛʒ.ər/ B1	noun - a feeling of happiness or satisfaction
declare /dɪˈkleər/ B2	verb - to announce formally or officially
kiss /kɪs/ A2	verb - to touch with the lips as a sign of affection noun - an act of kissing
scared /skɛrd/ A2	adjective - frightened; feeling fear
cake /keɪk/ A1	noun - a sweet baked food made from flour, sugar, and other ingredients
lemon /ˈlɛm.ən/ A2	noun - a sour yellow citrus fruit
maple /ˈmeɪ.pəl/ B2	noun - a type of tree known for its distinctive leaves and sap used to make syrup
candy /ˈkæn.di/ A1	noun - sweet confection made of sugar
union /ˈjuː.njən/ B2	noun - the act of joining together; a group formed by joining together
ring /rɪŋ/ A1	noun - a circular band, often worn on a finger
health /hɛlθ/ B1	noun - the condition of being free from illness or injury
sickness /ˈsɪk.nəs/ B1	noun - the state of being ill
lawfully /ˈlɔːf.ʊl.i/ C1	adverb - in a manner conforming to the law; legitimately
death /dɛθ/ B1	noun - the end of life; the permanent cessation of all vital functions

Key Grammar Structures

• I Ross, take thee, Emily. Take thee, Rachel.

  ➔ Subjunctive mood in archaic language

  ➔ The phrase "take thee" uses the subjunctive mood, typical in formal or archaic language, to express a wish or command.

• As my lawfully wedded wife in sickness and in health until death parts us.

  ➔ Present participle phrase

  ➔ The phrase "in sickness and in health" is a present participle phrase modifying the noun "wife," describing conditions of the marriage.

• I’m here for Ross Geller’s memorial service.

  ➔ Present continuous for future arrangements

  ➔ The present continuous tense "I’m here" is used to describe a future arrangement, emphasizing the speaker’s purpose.

• You are so fired.

  ➔ Passive voice with modal verb

  ➔ The phrase "You are fired" uses the passive voice with the modal verb "are," indicating a future action decided by someone else.

• I was shrieking like a marine.

  ➔ Simile with "like"

  ➔ The phrase "like a marine" is a simile using "like" to compare the manner of shrieking to that of a marine.

• I think I’m falling in love with you all over again.

  ➔ Present continuous for ongoing action

  ➔ The present continuous "I’m falling" describes an ongoing emotional process, not a completed action.