– English Lyrics

Lyrics & Translation

[English]

STURGIS: I'd like to end today's lecture

with a hilarious physics joke.

Why didn't the photon pack a suitcase?

He was traveling light.

Sheldon. Ha, ha.

Thank you.

Class dismissed.

Well, our conversation about my paper

resulted in a very productive couple of days.

I completely rewrote the whole thing from scratch.

Exciting. I know credits are usually listed alphabetically,

but I'm completely fine with my name going second.

Sheldon, I've worked on this paper for years.

I'm not putting your name on it at all.

But I helped you.

You did, but you didn't cowrite the paper with me.

Is that so?

Yes, it is.

Well, this is an outrage.

After all the help I've given you,

and I don't even get credit?

Well, of course you are.

You're getting a special thanks in the footnotes.

No one reads the footnotes.

I do. Well, I do, too,

but that doesn't mean I want to be in them. Sheldon,

that's where people get recognition for helping.

Oh, you mean the help of using my math

to convert your hazy series of meanderings

into a well-formed scientific thesis?

I think you're overstating your contribution.

Well, I think you should be wearing a black ski mask

because you're trying to rob me blind.

Well, if anyone should be wearing an odd piece of apparel,

it should be you wearing a baby bonnet,

because that's how you're behaving.

(gasps)

Ready to go? Very!

It's a good thing she showed up,

because I do not have a comeback.

Darn it. When he called me a baby, I should've said,

"Then I guess you needed a baby's help to fix your paper."

Very clever.

Turn the car around.

We're halfway home.

It's not that clever.

Why aren't you being more supportive of me?

Sheldon, John is a lot of things, but he's not a thief.

So you're on his side.

I'm not. So you're on my side.

For the sake of this car ride, sure.

Okay, here's the plan.

End your relationship with Coach Ballard,

date Dr. Sturgis again, get him to love you

more than ever, then when he least expects it,

break his heart and say, "That's for Sheldon."

Great plan. You think so?

For the sake of this car ride, sure.

So shiny, aren't you, now?

(door opens, bell jingles)

Hello. Remember me?

Ah, I thought you were gonna take your business elsewhere.

Well, lucky for you, I believe in second chances.

(grumbles)

Now, I know that you don't have girl baseball trophies in stock,

but could you have one made special?

Sure.

Great. A custom mold

is 50 bucks, and it takes six weeks.

I'm not paying you $50 for a trophy.

And I don't have six weeks.

Well, does your daughter look like a horse?

Maybe she'd like this.

I knew all that God talk was covering something really evil.

I am trying to make a special trophy for Missy.

So I'm gonna take this head and put it on that body.

Whatever you say, Dr. Frankenstein.

(sighs)

My daughter deserves to have a trophy

that looks something like her.

So this is kind of a feminist gesture on your part.

I prefer to think of it as a maternal gesture.

Let's just split the difference

and call it the stuff of nightmares.

It'll look better when I paint it.

I don't think so. (chuckles softly)