Hello.
00:02
00:03
>> Hello. Is Ross there? Uh,
00:03
00:04
>> no he's not. Can I take a message?
00:04
00:06
>> Yes. This is Russell, Ross' divorce
00:06
00:07
lawyer. Just tell him that since I
00:08
00:09
haven't heard from him, I assume he's
00:09
00:11
decided to give the marriage a try.
00:11
00:13
>> Ross got married again? No.
00:13
00:19
>> All right, keep going. We are phasing
00:19
00:21
the accent out. Phasing it out.
00:21
00:25
So without retesting their results in
00:25
00:28
the laboratory,
00:28
00:30
the team would never have identified
00:30
00:36
the initial errors in their carbon
00:36
00:39
dating analog event.
00:39
00:44
Were there any questions at this point?
00:44
00:47
>> Yes.
00:47
00:48
>> What's happening to your accent?
00:48
00:52
>> Come again. What's What's this nonsense?
00:52
01:00
All right. I'm I'm not English.
01:00
01:04
I'm from Long Island.
01:04
01:07
I was really nervous and the accent just
01:07
01:10
um just came out.
01:10
01:12
I'm sorry.
01:12
01:15
So, if we can just get back to the
01:15
01:17
lecture.
01:17
01:19
Um
01:19
01:21
were there any questions?
01:21
01:25
about paleontology.
01:25
01:29
>> All right. Look, I was just trying to
01:29
01:31
make a good first impression. Obviously,
01:31
01:34
I screwed up, but what you guys think of
01:34
01:36
me is really important because I'm I'm
01:36
01:38
hoping to get a permanent job here. So,
01:38
01:41
if you just give me another chance to
01:41
01:43
make a good impression.
01:43
01:46
>> Russ, are you crazy? I'm still your
01:46
01:49
wife. What were you just never going to
01:49
01:51
tell me? What the hell is wrong with
01:51
01:52
you?
01:52
01:54
>> I did this kill you.
01:54
02:01
>> Why a Rachel?
02:01
02:03
>> I want you to take a piece of paper.
02:03
02:05
Here you go. And write down your most
02:05
02:06
embarrassing memory. Oh, and I do ask
02:06
02:10
that when you're not using the markers,
02:10
02:11
you put the caps back on them because
02:12
02:14
they will dry out.
02:14
02:20
Listen, you guys. Um, I don't mean to be
02:20
02:21
a pain about this, but um, I've noticed
02:22
02:23
that some of you are just placing them
02:23
02:25
on. You want to push the caps
02:25
02:30
until you hear them click.
02:30
02:33
>> Gunther, where are you going?
02:33
02:36
>> I um was sort of thinking about maybe
02:36
02:39
>> No, no, you can't go. No, this is fun.
02:39
02:42
Come on. We're just getting started
02:42
02:43
here. Here's your marker.
02:43
02:47
Listen, if you want to go, just go.
02:48
02:50
>> No, she'll yell at me again.
02:50
02:56
>> All right, I can get you out.
02:56
02:58
>> What?
02:58
03:01
>> In a minute, I'm going to create a
03:01
03:02
diversion.
03:02
03:03
When I do, walk quickly to the door and
03:04
03:05
don't look back.
03:05
03:08
Okay. The first person's most
03:08
03:11
embarrassing memory is, "Monica, your
03:11
03:14
party sucks."
03:14
03:16
All right. Very funny.
03:16
03:18
>> Oh no. Oh, did someone forget to use a
03:18
03:21
coaster?
03:21
03:22
>> What?
03:22
03:30
>> I don't see anything.
03:30
03:32
>> Great. I'm seeing water rings again.
03:32
03:36
>> Okay. She's taking the trash out so I
03:36
03:39
can get you out of here. But it has to
03:39
03:40
be now. She'll be back any minute.
03:40
03:42
>> What about my friend Victor?
03:42
03:43
>> Nope. Only the three of you. Any more
03:43
03:45
than that and she'll get suspicious.
03:45
03:47
>> All right, let me just get my coat.
03:47
03:48
>> There isn't time. You
03:48
03:52
must leave everything. They'll take care
03:52
03:54
of you next door.
03:54
03:57
>> Is it true they had beer?
03:57
04:00
>> Everything you've heard is true.
04:00
04:03
>> Could you guys please try to keep it
04:03
04:05
down? We're trying to start a bogle
04:05
04:07
tournament.
04:07
04:14
You and you. You're supposed to be at my
04:14
04:17
party. And Gunther,
04:17
04:25
>> what are you doing here?
04:25
04:29
>> Hey, welcome to the show,
04:30
04:35
>> Phoebe. All right. I'm sorry, but these
04:35
04:38
people needed me. You know, they work
04:38
04:40
hard all week. It's Saturday night. They
04:40
04:42
deserve to have a little fun. Go.
04:42
04:45
>> You know, my party is fun. I mean, maybe
04:45
04:47
it's a little quieter, less obvious sort
04:47
04:49
of fun, but you know, if people would
04:50
04:51
just give it a chance, it's so
04:51
04:55
>> Hello. My name is Clunkers.
04:55
04:59
>> May I please stay with you nice people?
04:59
05:02
>> Oh, I wish you could stay here, but
05:02
05:04
Chandler is allergic.
05:04
05:06
>> Extremely allergic. Okay. If I am
05:06
05:08
anywhere near a dog for more than 5
05:08
05:11
minutes, my throat will just close up.
05:11
05:14
>> That's odd, cuz this dog's been living
05:14
05:15
here for the past 3 days.
05:16
05:24
>> Really,
05:24
05:26
Taylor? If the dog has been here that
05:26
05:28
long and you haven't had a reaction,
05:28
05:29
maybe you're not allergic to this dog.
05:29
05:31
>> Well, it still has to go, right?
05:31
05:33
>> Why?
05:34
05:36
Okay, it's um
05:36
05:37
>> Don't do it.
05:37
05:41
>> Don't do what?
05:41
05:42
>> I have to. Okay, it's time.
05:42
05:50
>> Okay. I hate dogs.
05:50
05:51
>> What?
05:51
05:52
>> Crazy.
05:52
05:55
>> Told you.
05:55
05:58
>> You want to get this tattoo?
05:58
05:59
>> Yes, I do. It's just that Ross is
06:00
06:02
>> Okay. Hey. Hey. Is your boyfriend the
06:02
06:04
boss of you?
06:04
06:07
No. Okay. Who is the boss of you?
06:07
06:11
You?
06:11
06:13
No. You are the boss of you. Now you
06:13
06:16
march your heiny in there and get that
06:16
06:17
heart tattooed on your hip. Go.
06:17
06:25
>> Oh, it looks so good. Oh, I love it.
06:25
06:28
>> I know. So do I. Oh, Phoebe. I'm so glad
06:28
06:31
you made me do this. Okay, let me see
06:31
06:32
yours.
06:32
06:37
Okay, let's see yours again.
06:37
06:40
Baby, we just saw mine. Let me see
06:40
06:41
yours. Oh, okay.
06:42
06:46
Oh, no. Oh, it's gone. That's so weird.
06:46
06:51
I don't know how where it went.
06:51
06:56
>> You didn't get it?
06:56
06:57
>> No.
06:57
06:58
>> Why didn't you get it?
06:58
07:00
>> I'm sorry. I'm sorry,
07:00
07:01
>> baby. How could you do this to me? This
07:01
07:03
was all your idea.
07:03
07:04
>> I know. I know. And I was going to get
07:04
07:06
it, but then he came in with this
07:06
07:07
needle. And like, did you know they do
07:07
07:09
this with needles?
07:09
07:12
>> Really? You don't say. Because mine was
07:12
07:14
licked on by kittens.
07:14
07:16
>> Hey, Joe. What's up?
07:16
07:18
>> Bad news. I watched the tape and passed
07:18
07:20
it along to my bosses and they weren't
07:20
07:22
interested.
07:22
07:23
>> Oh,
07:23
07:25
sorry, man.
07:25
07:28
But uh you watched the tape?
07:28
07:31
>> Yeah, I I I I liked it.
07:31
07:34
>> But uh my bosses didn't go for it.
07:34
07:37
Stupid sons of
07:37
07:40
[Laughter]
07:40
07:44
>> You didn't watch the tape.
07:44
07:46
>> What? Of course I did.
07:46
07:48
>> Look, it's one thing not to cast me, but
07:48
07:51
to lie to me.
07:51
07:52
>> I'm not lying to you. I watched it.
07:52
07:54
>> Well, you lied again.
07:54
07:55
>> I watched it. Keep going, Pinocchio.
07:55
07:59
>> I did.
08:00
08:00
>> No, you didn't.
08:00
08:01
>> I'm telling you, I watched the tape.
08:01
08:05
>> Did you watch the tape?
08:05
08:07
>> No.
08:07
08:09
[Applause]
08:09
08:10
[Music]
08:10
08:13
>> Can't believe Joey. I hate being called
08:13
08:15
a liar.
08:15
08:16
>> But you are a liar.
08:16
08:19
>> What did I just say?
08:19
08:23
>> You still here? Yes. And I have to say I
08:23
08:25
am not just hurt. I am insulted when I
08:25
08:27
tell somebody I did something.
08:28
08:29
>> Okay, hold on. Let me just stop you
08:29
08:30
right there. Okay, first you lied,
08:30
08:32
right? Then you lied about lying. Okay,
08:32
08:36
then you lied about lying about lying.
08:36
08:38
Okay, so before you lie about lying
08:38
08:40
about lying about lying about lying,
08:40
08:46
stop lying.
08:46
08:48
Why are you so sure I didn't watch this
08:48
08:50
tape? You want to know why? You want to
08:50
08:52
know why?
08:52
08:53
>> Well, this is going well.
08:53
08:57
>> Here's how I know you didn't watch the
08:57
08:58
tape. Okay, if you had seen what was on
08:58
09:00
this tape, believe me, you would have
09:00
09:03
some comments. All right, now remember,
09:03
09:05
I got paid a lot of money for this and
09:05
09:07
it only aired in Japan.
09:07
09:10
Ichibon
09:10
09:14
lipstick for men.
09:14
09:17
[Music]
09:17
09:28
Ichiban lipstick for men. Sai
09:28
09:35
and that's how I know you didn't watch
09:35
09:36
the tape.
09:36
09:40
>> He really is a chameleon.
09:40
09:42
>> Hi, I'm here for Ross Geller's memorial
09:42
09:45
service.
09:45
09:46
>> Corey. Corey Weston.
09:46
09:49
>> Yeah.
09:49
09:50
>> You look amazing.
09:50
09:52
>> And you are
09:52
09:53
>> Chandler. Chandler Bing. And I'm not
09:53
09:55
gay. I'm not gay at all.
09:55
09:57
>> You are married though.
09:57
09:59
>> Don't listen to him. He's in a really
09:59
10:01
bad mood.
10:01
10:06
>> I can't believe that Ross is gone. It is
10:06
10:08
just so sad.
10:08
10:10
>> I didn't know Ross and you were so
10:10
10:11
close.
10:11
10:12
>> No, we weren't. But we had one class
10:12
10:13
together. He was such a great guy and he
10:14
10:16
talked so passionately about science.
10:16
10:20
I always remembered him.
10:20
10:21
>> I'm sure that would mean a lot to him.
10:21
10:23
And if Heaven has a door, I'm sure he's
10:23
10:26
pressing his ear up against it and
10:26
10:28
listening intently.
10:28
10:31
>> I thought so many times about calling
10:31
10:33
him and asking him out. I guess I really
10:33
10:36
missed my chance.
10:36
10:38
>> Oh, you didn't.
10:38
10:42
I'm still alive.
10:42
10:45
Corey, I I know this is a big surprise
10:45
10:47
for you. It's a long story, but the
10:47
10:49
things you just said really made my day.
10:49
10:52
I mean, the fact that you're here means
10:52
10:54
more to me than than if this room were
10:54
10:55
filled with people.
10:55
10:57
>> You sick freak. Who does that? I can't
10:58
11:00
believe I had a crush on you.
11:00
11:07
>> Did you hear that? Corey Weston had a
11:07
11:11
crush on
11:11
11:11
>> Listen you guys. I have this friend at
11:11
11:13
Blooming Dales who's quitting tomorrow
11:13
11:14
and he wants to abuse his discount. So,
11:14
11:17
anyone who wants to come with me and
11:17
11:18
take advantage of it.
11:18
11:19
>> Oh, I can't. I have to take my
11:19
11:21
grandmother to the vet.
11:21
11:25
>> Okay. Um, I'll go with you. Great.
11:25
11:29
Okay.
11:29
11:31
>> Hi, honey. Hey, sweets.
11:31
11:34
>> And hello to the rest.
11:34
11:39
>> Monica, what are you doing? You can't go
11:39
11:41
shopping with her. What about Rachel?
11:41
11:44
>> This is going to be a problem, isn't it?
11:44
11:45
Oh,
11:45
11:45
>> come on. You're going to Blooming Dales
11:45
11:47
with Julie? It's like cheating on Rachel
11:47
11:49
in her house of worship.
11:49
11:53
>> Monica, she will kill you.
11:53
11:56
>> She will kill you like a dog in the
11:56
11:58
street.
11:58
12:03
>> So, uh, Jules tells me you guys are
12:03
12:05
going shopping tomorrow.
12:05
12:07
>> Oh, yeah. Um, it's actually not that big
12:07
12:09
a deal. It's a big deal to me. This is
12:09
12:12
great, Monica. I really appreciate it.
12:12
12:15
>> You're welcome.
12:15
12:20
[Applause]
12:20
12:25
[Music]
12:25
12:31
>> Hey. Hey. Where is everybody? They took
12:31
12:33
Ben to the park. Where have you been?
12:33
12:36
Just out. Had some lunch. Just me.
12:36
12:39
little quality time with me. Hey, thanks
12:39
12:43
for your jacket.
12:43
12:43
>> Oh, no problem. You could borrow it, by
12:43
12:46
the way.
12:46
12:48
>> Oh, here are your keys, honey.
12:48
12:50
Excellent.
12:50
12:52
>> Mom.
12:52
12:53
>> Mhm. If uh you were at lunch alone, how
12:53
12:56
come it cost you uh $53?
12:56
13:01
>> You know what probably happened?
13:02
13:04
Someone must have stolen my credit card
13:04
13:08
and sort of just put the receipt back in
13:08
13:09
your pocket.
13:09
13:12
That is an excellent, excellent
13:12
13:13
question.
13:13
13:15
That is excellent.
13:15
13:18
>> Monica, what's with you? Who did you
13:18
13:19
have lunch with?
13:19
13:21
>> Judy. Who?
13:21
13:22
>> Julie.
13:22
13:23
>> What?
13:23
13:23
>> Jodie.
13:24
13:27
>> You were with Julie?
13:27
13:29
Look,
13:29
13:31
when it started, I was just trying to be
13:31
13:33
nice to her because she was my brother's
13:33
13:34
girlfriend.
13:34
13:36
And then one thing led to another, and
13:36
13:40
before I knew it, we were
13:40
13:43
shopping.
13:43
13:49
Oh my god.
13:49
13:53
Wait, we only did it once.
13:53
13:57
It didn't mean anything to me.
13:57
14:00
>> Yeah, right.
14:00
14:01
>> Really?
14:01
14:01
>> Sure,
14:01
14:02
>> Rachel. I was thinking of you the whole
14:02
14:03
time.
14:03
14:06
[Applause]
14:06
14:08
>> Look,
14:08
14:09
I'm sorry. All right. I I never meant
14:09
14:11
for you to find out.
14:11
14:12
>> Oh, please. Please. You wanted to get
14:12
14:15
caught. That is not true.
14:15
14:18
>> So, you just sort of happened to leave
14:18
14:19
it in here?
14:20
14:21
>> Did it ever occur to you that I might
14:21
14:23
just be that stupid?
14:23
14:27
Okay, Monica, I just have to know one
14:27
14:29
thing.
14:29
14:33
>> Did you go with her to Bloomingdales?
14:33
14:36
[Applause]
14:36
14:45
>> Okay,
14:45
14:47
okay,
14:47
14:49
okay. I just really um I just really
14:49
14:51
need to not be with you right now.
14:51
14:53
>> Let me go change in my room. My clothes
14:53
14:55
are
14:55
14:59
[Music]
14:59
15:12
>> Wow, you look
15:12
15:13
>> No time for that.
15:13
15:19
>> Hey, dude. Let me in. I got a girl out
15:19
15:21
here.
15:21
15:24
Well, I've got a girl in here.
15:24
15:26
>> No, you don't. I just saw you go in
15:26
15:28
there with Monica.
15:28
15:31
>> Well, we're we're hanging out in here.
15:31
15:35
Which one of us is going to be having
15:35
15:36
sex in there? Me or you?
15:36
15:39
>> Well, I suppose I would have to say you.
15:39
15:43
>> What if we're watching a movie in here?
15:43
15:46
>> Which we are, and we already paid for
15:46
15:48
it. It's My Giant.
15:48
15:51
My giant. I love that movie.
15:51
16:01
>> Hey,
16:02
16:05
>> what are you doing here? I've been
16:05
16:06
trying to call you.
16:06
16:08
>> Listen. Um
16:08
16:09
>> Oh, no. No, no, don't say listen. I know
16:10
16:12
that. Listen, I've said that. Listen.
16:12
16:15
>> I'm sorry.
16:15
16:17
>> I don't get it. What happened? What
16:17
16:19
about everything you said under the
16:19
16:21
bridge?
16:21
16:23
>> Yeah. Um,
16:23
16:26
you know, you you should just forget
16:26
16:27
about what I said under the bridge. I
16:27
16:29
was talking crazy that night. I was so
16:29
16:30
drunk.
16:30
16:33
>> You don't drink.
16:33
16:35
>> That's right. I don't
16:35
16:38
But I was I was drunk on you.
16:38
16:41
>> Worse.
16:41
16:42
>> But okay. Yeah. So, it's not going to
16:42
16:43
work.
16:43
16:44
>> Why? Is it because I'm friends with
16:44
16:47
Phoebe?
16:47
16:48
If it was, would you stop hanging out
16:48
16:50
with her?
16:50
16:53
>> No. No, I I couldn't do that.
16:53
16:57
>> Um, then yeah, it's cuz of Phoebe.
16:57
17:01
So, you know, it's either her or me.
17:01
17:05
>> Then, uh, then I'm sorry.
17:05
17:13
>> You know,
17:13
17:15
you're going to be really, really hard
17:15
17:16
to get over.
17:16
17:18
I know.
17:18
17:25
>> I don't know whether it's just cuz we're
17:25
17:27
breaking up or what, but you have never
17:27
17:30
looked so beautiful.
17:30
17:33
>> Really?
17:33
18:01
[Music]
18:01
18:04
Thieves.
18:04
18:05
>> Yeah. Monica, my star student. You know,
18:05
18:09
you called me that before. So, I I took
18:09
18:11
the liberty of fashioning a star out of
18:11
18:13
aluminum foil. Now, no pressure. You
18:13
18:16
like my cookies, you give me the star.
18:16
18:23
>> Wow, a star.
18:23
18:26
I know you all hate me and and I'm
18:26
18:28
sorry, but I don't care.
18:28
18:31
Okay, Joey, you're up next.
18:31
18:36
>> Oh my god, this is amazing. You get an
18:36
18:40
A.
18:40
18:42
>> I got an A
18:42
18:44
in school. Hey, I'm a dork.
18:44
18:48
>> Joey, I'm so proud of you.
18:48
18:50
>> I think you should give him your star.
18:50
18:52
Excuse me.
18:52
18:55
>> He doesn't even know what he's doing.
18:55
18:57
>> We're all beginners here. Nobody knows
18:57
18:58
what they're doing.
18:58
18:59
>> I do. I'm a professional chef.
18:59
19:02
>> Oh, relax. It's not a courtroom drama.
19:02
19:06
>> If you're a professional chef, what are
19:06
19:07
you doing taking introduction to
19:07
19:08
cooking? Yeah.
19:08
19:12
>> I'm I'm sorry. It's just that um Well, I
19:12
19:15
cook at this restaurant, Allesandro, and
19:15
19:17
um I just got a really bad review.
19:17
19:18
>> Oh, Allesandro. I love that place.
19:18
19:21
>> You do?
19:21
19:21
>> Oh, yes. You're an excellent chef as a
19:22
19:24
person. You're a little
19:24
19:25
>> Oh, I'm totally crazy. But you like the
19:25
19:26
food
19:26
19:28
>> very much. Okay, then. I don't stink.
19:28
19:31
I'm a good chef. Okay.
19:31
19:34
>> I don't want to go. I'm having fun.
19:34
19:36
Well, actually, did either of you pay
19:36
19:38
for this class?
19:38
19:39
>> Hey, hey, hey. If my friend says it's
19:39
19:40
time to go, it's time to go.
19:40
19:42
>> I make you take an oath?
19:42
19:43
>> No, I made myself take one.
19:44
19:46
>> Yeah. No fooling around with clients and
19:46
19:49
um always be prepared.
19:49
19:53
>> Yeah, that one's actually from the Boy
19:53
19:55
Scouts, but it just makes good sense.
19:55
19:59
>> Why don't you just give them to somebody
19:59
20:00
else?
20:00
20:01
>> No, I can handle it. No, I'm a
20:01
20:03
professional.
20:03
20:05
Oh, Fibs, is that a new ankle bracelet?
20:05
20:08
>> Well, and you got a pedicure. Your feet
20:08
20:10
are all dressed up.
20:10
20:13
>> Because that's the only part of you he
20:13
20:15
can see when he's on the table.
20:15
20:19
>> You're going to do some feet flirting.
20:19
20:22
>> I don't know what you're talking about.
20:22
20:26
>> Then how do you explain the tow ring?
20:26
20:31
>> Because it's Arabian princess day at
20:31
20:33
work. Okay, leave me alone.
20:33
20:34
>> Wanted to
20:34
20:37
>> interesting.
20:37
20:42
>> Anyway,
20:42
20:44
um probably worked out for the best.
20:44
20:49
>> Yeah, sure.
20:49
20:51
>> Okay. In about 10 seconds, you're going
20:51
20:52
to see him kiss me.
20:52
20:54
>> And in about 5 seconds, you're going to
20:54
20:56
see why.
20:56
21:01
Ross, did I ever tell you about the time
21:01
21:03
that I went backpacking through Western
21:03
21:05
Europe?
21:05
21:08
[Laughter]
21:08
21:14
>> Hey, get ready to see some begging.
21:14
21:17
>> Oh, you came on to Ross.
21:18
21:21
>> What?
21:21
21:21
>> Now I'm so happy.
21:21
21:25
>> What are you talking about?
21:25
21:26
>> You use the Europe story. That's the
21:26
21:29
magic story you use when you want to
21:29
21:31
have sex.
21:31
21:34
>> How do you know about that story?
21:34
21:37
>> How do you know about that story?
21:37
21:40
>> I heard it from my friend Irene who
21:40
21:42
heard it from some guy.
21:42
21:44
>> Some guy?
21:44
21:49
>> No. No. She told me that his name was
21:49
21:51
Ken Adams.
21:51
21:54
>> Ken Adams. make you think Barry is
21:54
21:56
seeing someone in the city?
21:56
21:59
What? What would make you think that?
21:59
22:01
Well, ever since we announced the
22:01
22:03
engagement, he's been acting really
22:03
22:04
weird. And then last night, he came home
22:04
22:07
smelling like Chanel.
22:07
22:11
Really,
22:11
22:15
if it'll make you feel any better, when
22:15
22:16
Barry and I first got engaged, he went
22:16
22:18
through a whole weird thing, too. Oh,
22:18
22:20
God. You see, that's what I was afraid
22:20
22:22
of. What? What's afraid of? Okay. Okay.
22:22
22:27
When Barry was engaged to you, he and I
22:27
22:31
kind of had a little thing on the side.
22:32
22:37
I know. I know. And when he proposed to
22:37
22:39
me, everyone said, "Don't do it. He's
22:39
22:41
just going to do to you what he did to
22:41
22:42
Rachel." And now I feel so stupid.
22:42
22:49
Oh, Mindy.
22:49
22:51
Oh, you are so stupid.
22:51
22:54
Oh, we are both so stupid. What do you
22:54
22:57
mean?
22:57
23:00
>> Smell familiar?
23:00
23:02
>> Oh, no.
23:02
23:05
Oh, I'm so sorry. Oh, no. Me. I am so
23:05
23:09
sorry. No, I am sorry. I'm sorry.
23:09
23:18
>> You want to see something?
23:18
23:19
>> Sure. What? Okay. Um, this is going to
23:19
23:21
be fun. Watch me freak out, Chandler.
23:21
23:24
>> Honey.
23:24
23:25
>> Yeah.
23:25
23:26
>> Listen, uh I I've been doing some
23:26
23:29
thinking and I don't know whether it's
23:30
23:32
because we're here or Rachel's giving
23:32
23:35
birth,
23:35
23:37
but um
23:37
23:39
I think we should try to have a baby.
23:39
23:45
>> Okay.
23:45
23:49
>> What was it now?
23:49
23:51
>> Okay. Hey, I've been thinking about it,
23:51
23:52
too. And I I think we're ready. What?
23:52
23:57
>> Are you kidding me? You You You think
23:57
23:59
we're ready to have a baby now?
23:59
24:01
>> Oh, this is fun.
24:01
24:04
>> You're ready to have a baby? My boy's
24:04
24:06
all grown up.
24:06
24:09
>> You said you were ready, too.
24:09
24:10
>> Yeah, but I was just screwing with you
24:10
24:12
to to try to get your voice all high and
24:12
24:14
weird like mine is now.
24:14
24:17
>> Guess what? Haven't you wanted a kid
24:17
24:18
like forever? Okay, just back off,
24:18
24:20
mister.
24:20
24:21
>> Wait for me.
24:21
24:21
>> It was a mistake. I made a mistake.
24:21
24:23
Okay,
24:23
24:24
>> a mistake. What were you trying to put
24:24
24:26
it in? Her purse.
24:26
24:29
>> Where? Where did he put it?
24:29
24:34
[Applause]
24:34
24:35
>> Ros, you had sex with another woman.
24:36
24:39
>> Oh my god.
24:39
24:40
>> Oh god. I knew something had to be wrong
24:40
24:42
because my fingernails did not grow at
24:42
24:43
all yesterday.
24:43
24:46
>> Yeah. Well, I guess they had a fight and
24:46
24:48
he got drunk.
24:48
24:50
>> You guys knew about this and you didn't
24:50
24:51
tell us.
24:52
24:52
>> He had sex and we get hit in our heads.
24:52
24:55
>> You know what? I want you to leave. Get
24:55
24:57
out of here. Just get out.
24:57
24:58
>> No. No. I want to stay. I want to talk
24:58
25:00
about this.
25:00
25:00
>> Okay. All right. How was she?
25:00
25:03
>> Uh-oh.
25:04
25:09
>> What
25:09
25:09
>> was she good?
25:09
25:10
>> Don't answer that.
25:10
25:15
>> I know. She said, "You wanted to talk
25:15
25:16
about it. Let's talk about it." How was
25:16
25:18
she?
25:18
25:20
>> She was awful.
25:20
25:21
>> She was not good. Not good.
25:21
25:23
>> Compared to
25:23
25:26
She was different. Oh.
25:26
25:28
>> Uhoh.
25:28
25:31
>> Good. Different.
25:31
25:34
>> Nobody likes change.
25:34
25:40
>> Should we do something?
25:40
25:41
>> Yeah. Never cheat on Rachel.
25:41
25:46
I'm sorry. Okay. I'm sorry. I I was
25:46
25:48
disgusted with myself and then this
25:48
25:50
morning I was so I was I was so upset
25:50
25:52
and then I got your message and I was so
25:52
25:54
happy and all I wanted was to get her
25:54
25:56
out of my apartment as fast as possible.
25:56
25:58
>> Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Wait a minute.
25:58
26:02
>> What time did your little friend leave?
26:02
26:09
>> Oh my god. She was there.
26:09
26:11
>> She was still there. She was in there
26:11
26:13
when I was in there.
26:13
26:16
>> Oh, Jessica.
26:16
26:18
>> Hey.
26:18
26:18
>> So, how is this for a big double date
26:18
26:20
tonight?
26:20
26:23
>> Oh my god.
26:23
26:25
>> Oo, great. Just the reaction I was
26:26
26:28
hoping for.
26:28
26:30
>> Yeah. So, you uh you found someone for
26:30
26:32
me? You didn't forget?
26:32
26:34
>> Of course not. And you are going to love
26:34
26:35
Mary Ellen. She's really smart and cute
26:36
26:38
and funny. And I can't tell you how I
26:38
26:41
know this, but she is not opposed to
26:41
26:43
threesomes.
26:43
26:47
>> Yeah. So, tell me something about my
26:47
26:50
guy.
26:50
26:51
>> No.
26:51
26:54
>> Come on, give me something. What's his
26:54
26:56
name?
26:56
26:58
>> Mike.
26:58
26:59
>> Mike?
26:59
26:59
>> Yeah. Yeah.
27:00
27:00
>> Okay. What's his last name?
27:00
27:01
>> Damn it. Is there no mystery left in
27:01
27:03
romance anymore?
27:03
27:06
>> All right. We'll see you and Mike at the
27:06
27:08
restaurant in a couple hours.
27:08
27:09
>> All right, great.
27:09
27:10
>> All right.
27:10
27:10
>> See you.
27:10
27:11
>> All right.
27:11
27:13
>> Why did I have to say Mike? I don't
27:13
27:15
know, Mike. Why couldn't I said
27:15
27:20
>> there's no guys in there?
27:20
27:22
>> And wrap up all of your Christmas gifts.
27:22
27:23
>> No,
27:23
27:25
>> I uh Oh, I'll squeeze you fresh orange
27:25
27:28
juice every morning
27:28
27:29
>> with extra pumps.
27:29
27:30
>> Yeah.
27:30
27:31
>> No,
27:31
27:31
>> dude.
27:32
27:36
I've got it.
27:36
27:37
>> You don't have it.
27:38
27:40
>> I so got it. There's going to be rumors
27:40
27:43
about this. There's no way to stop it.
27:43
27:45
Sophie knows. Monica and Phoebe know.
27:46
27:48
>> How do Monica and Phoebe know?
27:48
27:49
>> Oh, I called them.
27:49
27:51
>> When they ask me what I saw, I can be
27:51
27:55
very generous
27:55
27:58
>> or very stingy.
27:58
28:03
Go on.
28:03
28:04
>> I can make you a legend.
28:04
28:07
I can make you this generation's Milton
28:07
28:10
Burl.
28:10
28:12
>> When Milton Burl has
28:12
28:13
>> Oh, not compared to you.
28:13
28:21
>> Hello.
28:21
28:22
>> Hey.
28:22
28:24
>> Hello, Chandler.
28:24
28:27
>> I love you.
28:27
28:29
>> Hey, what's going on?
28:29
28:31
Oh,
28:31
28:35
>> no he doesn't.
28:36
28:40
>> Two hours that lasted. I went to a bar
28:40
28:43
and then I just uh just walked around
28:43
28:47
for a while.
28:47
28:49
>> You walked around all night in the city
28:49
28:51
by yourself.
28:51
28:54
>> He hooked up.
28:54
28:57
>> He hooked up with someone.
28:57
28:58
>> Look, I don't have to answer your
28:58
29:00
questions. Okay. I'm a big boy. I can do
29:00
29:02
whatever I want.
29:02
29:03
>> He hooked up.
29:03
29:07
>> Tell us about her.
29:07
29:10
>> Ross, you left your scarf in.
29:10
29:13
[Applause]
29:13
29:19
>> Hey, you guys.
29:19
29:24
[Music]
29:24
29:25
Well, I can promise you at least one
29:25
29:27
person will be crying. You know, I'm an
29:27
29:29
actor and any actor worth his salt can
29:29
29:32
cry on Q.
29:32
29:33
>> Really? Can do that?
29:33
29:34
>> Oh, you kidding me? Watch.
29:34
29:47
>> Well, I can't do it with you guys
29:47
29:48
watching me.
29:48
29:50
>> Mom, Chandler was just saying how
29:50
29:52
beautiful your sweater is.
29:52
29:53
>> Oh, thank you, Chandler. I just bought
29:53
29:54
it.
29:54
29:54
>> Oh, yes. as well. It's very beautiful
29:54
29:56
and it's cream colored and tight. And
29:56
30:01
I don't mean tight. I mean it's not too
30:01
30:03
tight. Not that I was looking at
30:03
30:06
>> What's the matter with him?
30:06
30:08
>> I think he's stoned again.
30:08
30:12
>> What?
30:12
30:13
>> What?
30:13
30:13
>> Dude, I need to talk to you a sec.
30:13
30:21
>> Okay. I think I might know why my
30:21
30:23
parents don't like you. You do? Why?
30:23
30:25
>> Okay. Remember we were young.
30:26
30:28
>> Hey,
30:28
30:29
>> spring break, sophomore year, I I got
30:29
30:31
high in my bedroom and my parents walked
30:31
30:34
in and smelled it and so I told them
30:34
30:36
that you had gotten stoned and jumped
30:36
30:38
out the window.
30:38
30:40
>> What? Why did you do that?
30:40
30:42
>> I don't know. Uh, yours was the first
30:42
30:45
name that that popped into my head. I'm
30:45
30:46
I'm sorry. I didn't I didn't think it'd
30:46
30:48
matter.
30:48
30:48
>> How could it not matter? Well, how was I
30:48
30:50
supposed to know we'd end up being
30:50
30:51
friends after college? Let alone knew
30:52
30:53
you you'd be living with my sister.
30:53
30:54
>> What about all that friends forever
30:54
30:56
stuff?
30:56
30:57
>> I don't know. I I was all high.
30:57
31:03
>> Mom and dad just sent me in here to find
31:03
31:04
out if you were trying to get Ross
31:04
31:06
stoned.
31:06
31:09
>> Your parents caught Ross smoking pot in
31:09
31:11
college and he blamed it on me.
31:11
31:13
>> Ross, I can't believe you do that.
31:13
31:15
>> The reason we haven't told them we're
31:15
31:16
together is because they hate me. Okay.
31:16
31:18
So, will you fix this?
31:18
31:20
>> Okay. Okay. I'll tell them it wasn't
31:20
31:22
Chandler who got high.
31:22
31:23
>> Okay.
31:23
31:24
>> Now, who should I say it was?
31:24
31:27
>> You. It's not like it's a big deal. You
31:27
31:30
You don't still do it or anything.
31:30
31:32
>> All right. All right. Now, now, who
31:32
31:33
should I say tricked me into doing it?
31:34
31:40
>> Let's go.
31:40
31:41
>> Oh, yeah. About telling mom and dad. I
31:42
31:44
was thinking about maybe writing a
31:44
31:46
letter. All right. You know what? That's
31:46
31:48
it. You've had your chance.
31:48
31:50
>> What?
31:50
31:51
>> Mom, Dad, Ross smoked pot in college.
31:51
31:55
>> What?
31:55
31:57
>> You are such a tattletail.
31:57
32:02
>> Mom, Dad,
32:02
32:05
you remember that that time you walked
32:05
32:07
in my room and smelled marijuana?
32:07
32:10
>> Yes.
32:10
32:10
>> Yes.
32:10
32:15
Well, I told you it was Chandler who was
32:15
32:18
smoking the pot, but
32:18
32:23
it was me. I'm sorry.
32:23
32:26
>> It was you. And Dad, you know that
32:26
32:28
mailman that you got fired didn't steal
32:28
32:30
your Playboys? Ross did.
32:30
32:35
[Laughter]
32:35
32:38
>> Yeah. Well, Hurricane Gloria didn't
32:38
32:40
break the porch swing. Monica dead.
32:40
32:45
>> Ross hasn't worked at the museum for a
32:45
32:47
year.
32:47
32:49
>> Monica and Chandler are living together.
32:49
32:55
>> Ross married Rachel in Vegas and got
32:55
32:57
divorced again.
32:57
33:02
>> That's a lot of information to get in 30
33:02
33:05
seconds.
33:05
33:07
All right, Monica. Why you felt you had
33:08
33:11
to hide the fact that you're in an
33:11
33:12
important relationship is beyond me.
33:12
33:15
>> And we kind of figured about the porch
33:15
33:17
swing.
33:17
33:20
>> Brass, drugs, divorced again.
33:20
33:26
>> What happened, son? I I uh I got tricked
33:26
33:30
into all those things.
33:30
33:34
Chandler,
33:34
33:36
you've been Ross's best friend all these
33:36
33:39
years, stuck by him during the drug
33:39
33:41
problems,
33:41
33:44
>> and now you've taken on Monica as well.
33:44
33:47
Well, I don't know what to say. You're a
33:48
33:51
wonderful human being.
33:51
33:56
>> Thank you.
33:56
33:57
>> No, thank you,
33:57
34:01
Monica and Ross. I don't know what I'm
34:01
34:03
going to do about the two of you.
34:03
34:07
>> I'll talk to them.
34:07
34:09
>> Hi,
34:09
34:13
>> Rich. Ra, I am so sorry. I am so so
34:13
34:17
sorry.
34:17
34:17
>> Oh, Ross, come on. You just did what you
34:17
34:19
had to do.
34:19
34:22
>> Well, that's it. You're not mad. I mean,
34:22
34:24
it must have been terrible.
34:24
34:26
>> Terrible? Hell, I was in Greece.
34:26
34:29
That was a nice hotel, nice beach, met
34:29
34:32
the nice people. It's not too shabby for
34:32
34:35
Rachel.
34:35
34:38
>> So, what? That's it?
34:38
34:41
>> Oh, yeah. We're cool. Totally cool.
34:41
34:45
>> Thanks. Right. You're the best.
34:45
34:47
>> Oh, no. You're the best.
34:48
34:51
>> Oh, I got to go to the flower store.
34:51
34:55
Check it out. No one will tell me where
34:55
34:56
Emily is. So, I'm going to send 72 long
34:56
34:59
stemmed red roses to her parents' house.
34:59
35:02
One for each day that I've known and
35:02
35:04
loved her. That ought to get her talking
35:04
35:06
to me again.
35:06
35:07
>> Oh, Ross, when you make out the card, be
35:07
35:08
sure to make it out to Emily.
35:08
35:16
>> That's great. It's so good that you had
35:16
35:18
such a good time in Greece.
35:18
35:20
>> What?
35:20
35:23
I didn't have a good time in Greece.
35:23
35:26
Ross abandoned me, okay? I couldn't get
35:26
35:29
a plane out, so I had to stay in their
35:29
35:31
honeymoon suite with people coming up to
35:31
35:33
me all the time going, "Oh, Mrs. Keller,
35:34
35:36
why are you crying?"
35:36
35:38
I mean, it was so humiliating. I felt
35:38
35:42
like such an idiot. I mean, it's all my
35:42
35:45
fault. And you know why? Because I make
35:45
35:47
very bad decisions.
35:47
35:50
>> Oh, that's not true. Yes, it is. It is
35:50
35:52
true. I I went after Ross in stupid
35:52
35:54
London.
35:54
35:55
>> London is stupid. Stupid.
35:55
35:59
>> Phoebe, you were right. I should have
35:59
36:00
never gone to London. And from now on,
36:00
36:03
you make all of my decisions for me.
36:03
36:05
>> Oh, no. I did that for someone once. I'm
36:06
36:08
I'm not comfortable having that kind of
36:08
36:10
power and control over someone's life.
36:10
36:12
>> I'll do it.
36:12
36:15
>> That's fine. So, Monica, you are now in
36:15
36:17
charge of my love life.
36:17
36:20
got to go. Miss you, too. I love you,
36:20
36:24
but it's getting real late now.
36:24
36:26
>> Hey, ma. Listen. I made the appointment
36:26
36:28
with Dr. Baza. And
36:28
36:32
>> excuse me.
36:32
36:37
>> Did you know this isn't ma?
36:37
36:39
[Laughter]
36:39
36:47
Her name's Ronnie.
36:47
36:50
She's a pet mortician.
36:50
36:56
>> Sure.
36:56
36:58
>> So, how long you've been?
36:58
37:02
>> Remember when you were a little kid? I
37:02
37:04
used to take you to the Navyyard and
37:04
37:05
show you the big ships.
37:05
37:07
>> Since then?
37:07
37:08
>> No, it's only been 6 years. I just
37:08
37:11
wanted to put a nice memory in your head
37:11
37:12
so you'd know that I wasn't always such
37:12
37:14
a terrible guy.
37:14
37:19
Joe, you ever been in love?
37:19
37:23
>> I don't know.
37:23
37:24
>> Then you haven't.
37:24
37:26
>> You're burning your tomatoes.
37:26
37:28
>> Huh? You'll want to talk.
37:28
37:32
>> Joe, your dad's in love big time. And
37:32
37:34
the worst part of it is it's with two
37:34
37:36
different women.
37:36
37:37
>> Oh, man. Please tell me one of them is
37:37
37:40
Ma.
37:40
37:41
>> Of course. Of course. One of them is Ma.
37:41
37:42
What's the matter with you?
37:42
37:47
Hey, Joe. Hey, Dad. Ronnie's here. Huh?
37:47
37:50
>> Hi.
37:50
37:51
>> Hey.
37:51
37:52
>> Hey.
37:52
37:53
>> Hello, babe. What? What? What are you
37:53
37:56
doing here?
37:56
37:57
>> Oh, uh, well, you left your good hair at
37:57
38:00
my apartment. I figured you need it
38:00
38:01
tomorrow for your meeting.
38:01
38:06
>> Thank you. Um,
38:06
38:09
so, who's up for a big game of Kplunk?
38:09
38:16
Look, I uh I I shouldn't have come. I I
38:16
38:19
better get going. I don't want to miss
38:19
38:20
the last train.
38:20
38:21
>> No, no, hun. I I don't want you taking
38:21
38:22
that thing to swing this.
38:22
38:23
>> Oh, where am I going to stay? Here.
38:23
38:25
>> Wo ho.
38:25
38:28
>> We'll go to a hotel.
38:28
38:31
>> Go to a hotel.
38:31
38:33
>> No, you won't.
38:33
38:33
>> No, he won't.
38:34
38:35
>> If you go to a hotel, you'll be doing
38:35
38:37
stuff. I want you right here where I can
38:37
38:40
keep an eye on you.
38:40
38:41
>> You're going to keep an eye on us?
38:42
38:43
That's right, mister. And I don't care
38:43
38:45
how old you are. As long as you're under
38:45
38:47
my roof, you're going to live by my
38:47
38:48
rule.
38:48
38:53
>> And that means no sleeping with your
38:53
38:55
girlfriend.
38:55
38:57
>> Wow, he's strict.
38:57
39:00
>> Now, Dad, you'll be in my room. Ronnie,
39:00
39:02
uh, you can stay in Chandler's room.
39:02
39:05
>> Thanks. You're uh you're you're a good
39:05
39:07
kid.
39:07
39:07
>> Come on. I I'll show you to my room.
39:07
39:11
That sounds so weird when it's not
39:11
39:12
followed by no thanks. It's late.
39:12
39:17
[Applause]
39:17
39:19
>> Okay, now this is just for tonight.
39:19
39:21
Starting tomorrow, you got to make a
39:21
39:22
change. 6 years is long enough.
39:22
39:24
>> What kind of change? Well, either you
39:24
39:26
break it off with Ronnie.
39:26
39:27
>> I can't do that.
39:27
39:27
>> Then you got to come clean with Ma. This
39:28
39:30
is not right.
39:30
39:30
>> Yeah, but this
39:30
39:31
>> I don't want to hear it. Now go to my
39:31
39:33
room.
39:33
39:35
>> Come in.
39:35
39:37
I've been waiting for you.
39:37
39:42
Hi. I just want Oh my god. Oh my god.
39:42
39:45
Michael. Oh my god. Okay. I'm sorry.
39:45
39:49
Sorry. I I was um I was taking a nap.
39:49
39:52
Since when do you take naps in that
39:52
39:54
position?
39:54
39:57
>> Oh god. Monica, tell me you were waiting
39:57
39:59
for a guy. Please tell me you're waiting
39:59
40:00
for a guy. Guess I was a guy from work.
40:00
40:06
I'm seeing a guy from work. Ha.
40:06
40:11
That cute waiter guy from your
40:11
40:12
restaurant. The one that looks like a
40:12
40:13
non-threatening Ray Leota.
40:13
40:16
>> Uhhuh. That one. You know what? Just
40:16
40:18
give me a second. I'll be out of your
40:18
40:19
hair. I'm just going to grab a jacket.
40:20
40:22
When I get back, I want every little
40:22
40:25
detail.
40:25
40:29
Maybe that's him. Okay. Um Okay. Um
40:29
40:34
it's just Joey and Ross.
40:34
40:37
Why aren't you guys at the movie?
40:37
40:38
>> Well, we were, but Ross was talking so
40:38
40:40
loud on his phone, they threw us out.
40:40
40:42
>> I had to talk loud because the movie was
40:42
40:45
loud.
40:45
40:48
>> He's talking to London.
40:48
40:49
>> Oh my god. Did he get in touch with
40:49
40:51
Emily?
40:51
40:52
>> Well, no, not yet. He's calling everyone
40:52
40:53
on her side of the family, hoping that
40:53
40:55
someone will help him get in touch with
40:55
40:56
her.
40:56
40:56
>> I I don't care if I said some other
40:56
40:59
girl's name, you prissy old twit.
40:59
41:03
>> Ross, way to suck up to the family.
41:03
41:08
[Laughter]
41:08
41:13
I'm so glad you guys are all here. My
41:13
41:15
office finally got wrinkle-free fax
41:15
41:17
paper.
41:17
41:22
[Music]
41:22
Lyrics & Translation
[English]
Hello.
...
>> Hello. Is Ross there? Uh,
...
>> no he's not. Can I take a message?
...
>> Yes. This is Russell, Ross' divorce
...
lawyer. Just tell him that since I
...
haven't heard from him, I assume he's
...
decided to give the marriage a try.
...
>> Ross got married again? No.
...
>> All right, keep going. We are phasing
...
the accent out. Phasing it out.
...
So without retesting their results in
...
the laboratory,
...
the team would never have identified
...
the initial errors in their carbon
...
dating analog event.
...
Were there any questions at this point?
...
>> Yes.
...
>> What's happening to your accent?
...
>> Come again. What's What's this nonsense?
...
All right. I'm I'm not English.
...
I'm from Long Island.
...
I was really nervous and the accent just
...
um just came out.
...
I'm sorry.
...
So, if we can just get back to the
...
lecture.
...
Um
...
were there any questions?
...
about paleontology.
...
>> All right. Look, I was just trying to
...
make a good first impression. Obviously,
...
I screwed up, but what you guys think of
...
me is really important because I'm I'm
...
hoping to get a permanent job here. So,
...
if you just give me another chance to
...
make a good impression.
...
>> Russ, are you crazy? I'm still your
...
wife. What were you just never going to
...
tell me? What the hell is wrong with
...
you?
...
>> I did this kill you.
...
>> Why a Rachel?
...
>> I want you to take a piece of paper.
...
Here you go. And write down your most
...
embarrassing memory. Oh, and I do ask
...
that when you're not using the markers,
...
you put the caps back on them because
...
they will dry out.
...
Listen, you guys. Um, I don't mean to be
...
a pain about this, but um, I've noticed
...
that some of you are just placing them
...
on. You want to push the caps
...
until you hear them click.
...
>> Gunther, where are you going?
...
>> I um was sort of thinking about maybe
...
>> No, no, you can't go. No, this is fun.
...
Come on. We're just getting started
...
here. Here's your marker.
...
Listen, if you want to go, just go.
...
>> No, she'll yell at me again.
...
>> All right, I can get you out.
...
>> What?
...
>> In a minute, I'm going to create a
...
diversion.
...
When I do, walk quickly to the door and
...
don't look back.
...
Okay. The first person's most
...
embarrassing memory is, "Monica, your
...
party sucks."
...
All right. Very funny.
...
>> Oh no. Oh, did someone forget to use a
...
coaster?
...
>> What?
...
>> I don't see anything.
...
>> Great. I'm seeing water rings again.
...
>> Okay. She's taking the trash out so I
...
can get you out of here. But it has to
...
be now. She'll be back any minute.
...
>> What about my friend Victor?
...
>> Nope. Only the three of you. Any more
...
than that and she'll get suspicious.
...
>> All right, let me just get my coat.
...
>> There isn't time. You
...
must leave everything. They'll take care
...
of you next door.
...
>> Is it true they had beer?
...
>> Everything you've heard is true.
...
>> Could you guys please try to keep it
...
down? We're trying to start a bogle
...
tournament.
...
You and you. You're supposed to be at my
...
party. And Gunther,
...
>> what are you doing here?
...
>> Hey, welcome to the show,
...
>> Phoebe. All right. I'm sorry, but these
...
people needed me. You know, they work
...
hard all week. It's Saturday night. They
...
deserve to have a little fun. Go.
...
>> You know, my party is fun. I mean, maybe
...
it's a little quieter, less obvious sort
...
of fun, but you know, if people would
...
just give it a chance, it's so
...
>> Hello. My name is Clunkers.
...
>> May I please stay with you nice people?
...
>> Oh, I wish you could stay here, but
...
Chandler is allergic.
...
>> Extremely allergic. Okay. If I am
...
anywhere near a dog for more than 5
...
minutes, my throat will just close up.
...
>> That's odd, cuz this dog's been living
...
here for the past 3 days.
...
>> Really,
...
Taylor? If the dog has been here that
...
long and you haven't had a reaction,
...
maybe you're not allergic to this dog.
...
>> Well, it still has to go, right?
...
>> Why?
...
Okay, it's um
...
>> Don't do it.
...
>> Don't do what?
...
>> I have to. Okay, it's time.
...
>> Okay. I hate dogs.
...
>> What?
...
>> Crazy.
...
>> Told you.
...
>> You want to get this tattoo?
...
>> Yes, I do. It's just that Ross is
...
>> Okay. Hey. Hey. Is your boyfriend the
...
boss of you?
...
No. Okay. Who is the boss of you?
...
You?
...
No. You are the boss of you. Now you
...
march your heiny in there and get that
...
heart tattooed on your hip. Go.
...
>> Oh, it looks so good. Oh, I love it.
...
>> I know. So do I. Oh, Phoebe. I'm so glad
...
you made me do this. Okay, let me see
...
yours.
...
Okay, let's see yours again.
...
Baby, we just saw mine. Let me see
...
yours. Oh, okay.
...
Oh, no. Oh, it's gone. That's so weird.
...
I don't know how where it went.
...
>> You didn't get it?
...
>> No.
...
>> Why didn't you get it?
...
>> I'm sorry. I'm sorry,
...
>> baby. How could you do this to me? This
...
was all your idea.
...
>> I know. I know. And I was going to get
...
it, but then he came in with this
...
needle. And like, did you know they do
...
this with needles?
...
>> Really? You don't say. Because mine was
...
licked on by kittens.
...
>> Hey, Joe. What's up?
...
>> Bad news. I watched the tape and passed
...
it along to my bosses and they weren't
...
interested.
...
>> Oh,
...
sorry, man.
...
But uh you watched the tape?
...
>> Yeah, I I I I liked it.
...
>> But uh my bosses didn't go for it.
...
Stupid sons of
...
[Laughter]
...
>> You didn't watch the tape.
...
>> What? Of course I did.
...
>> Look, it's one thing not to cast me, but
...
to lie to me.
...
>> I'm not lying to you. I watched it.
...
>> Well, you lied again.
...
>> I watched it. Keep going, Pinocchio.
...
>> I did.
...
>> No, you didn't.
...
>> I'm telling you, I watched the tape.
...
>> Did you watch the tape?
...
>> No.
...
[Applause]
...
[Music]
...
>> Can't believe Joey. I hate being called
...
a liar.
...
>> But you are a liar.
...
>> What did I just say?
...
>> You still here? Yes. And I have to say I
...
am not just hurt. I am insulted when I
...
tell somebody I did something.
...
>> Okay, hold on. Let me just stop you
...
right there. Okay, first you lied,
...
right? Then you lied about lying. Okay,
...
then you lied about lying about lying.
...
Okay, so before you lie about lying
...
about lying about lying about lying,
...
stop lying.
...
Why are you so sure I didn't watch this
...
tape? You want to know why? You want to
...
know why?
...
>> Well, this is going well.
...
>> Here's how I know you didn't watch the
...
tape. Okay, if you had seen what was on
...
this tape, believe me, you would have
...
some comments. All right, now remember,
...
I got paid a lot of money for this and
...
it only aired in Japan.
...
Ichibon
...
lipstick for men.
...
[Music]
...
Ichiban lipstick for men. Sai
...
and that's how I know you didn't watch
...
the tape.
...
>> He really is a chameleon.
...
>> Hi, I'm here for Ross Geller's memorial
...
service.
...
>> Corey. Corey Weston.
...
>> Yeah.
...
>> You look amazing.
...
>> And you are
...
>> Chandler. Chandler Bing. And I'm not
...
gay. I'm not gay at all.
...
>> You are married though.
...
>> Don't listen to him. He's in a really
...
bad mood.
...
>> I can't believe that Ross is gone. It is
...
just so sad.
...
>> I didn't know Ross and you were so
...
close.
...
>> No, we weren't. But we had one class
...
together. He was such a great guy and he
...
talked so passionately about science.
...
I always remembered him.
...
>> I'm sure that would mean a lot to him.
...
And if Heaven has a door, I'm sure he's
...
pressing his ear up against it and
...
listening intently.
...
>> I thought so many times about calling
...
him and asking him out. I guess I really
...
missed my chance.
...
>> Oh, you didn't.
...
I'm still alive.
...
Corey, I I know this is a big surprise
...
for you. It's a long story, but the
...
things you just said really made my day.
...
I mean, the fact that you're here means
...
more to me than than if this room were
...
filled with people.
...
>> You sick freak. Who does that? I can't
...
believe I had a crush on you.
...
>> Did you hear that? Corey Weston had a
...
crush on
...
>> Listen you guys. I have this friend at
...
Blooming Dales who's quitting tomorrow
...
and he wants to abuse his discount. So,
...
anyone who wants to come with me and
...
take advantage of it.
...
>> Oh, I can't. I have to take my
...
grandmother to the vet.
...
>> Okay. Um, I'll go with you. Great.
...
Okay.
...
>> Hi, honey. Hey, sweets.
...
>> And hello to the rest.
...
>> Monica, what are you doing? You can't go
...
shopping with her. What about Rachel?
...
>> This is going to be a problem, isn't it?
...
Oh,
...
>> come on. You're going to Blooming Dales
...
with Julie? It's like cheating on Rachel
...
in her house of worship.
...
>> Monica, she will kill you.
...
>> She will kill you like a dog in the
...
street.
...
>> So, uh, Jules tells me you guys are
...
going shopping tomorrow.
...
>> Oh, yeah. Um, it's actually not that big
...
a deal. It's a big deal to me. This is
...
great, Monica. I really appreciate it.
...
>> You're welcome.
...
[Applause]
...
[Music]
...
>> Hey. Hey. Where is everybody? They took
...
Ben to the park. Where have you been?
...
Just out. Had some lunch. Just me.
...
little quality time with me. Hey, thanks
...
for your jacket.
...
>> Oh, no problem. You could borrow it, by
...
the way.
...
>> Oh, here are your keys, honey.
...
Excellent.
...
>> Mom.
...
>> Mhm. If uh you were at lunch alone, how
...
come it cost you uh $53?
...
>> You know what probably happened?
...
Someone must have stolen my credit card
...
and sort of just put the receipt back in
...
your pocket.
...
That is an excellent, excellent
...
question.
...
That is excellent.
...
>> Monica, what's with you? Who did you
...
have lunch with?
...
>> Judy. Who?
...
>> Julie.
...
>> What?
...
>> Jodie.
...
>> You were with Julie?
...
Look,
...
when it started, I was just trying to be
...
nice to her because she was my brother's
...
girlfriend.
...
And then one thing led to another, and
...
before I knew it, we were
...
shopping.
...
Oh my god.
...
Wait, we only did it once.
...
It didn't mean anything to me.
...
>> Yeah, right.
...
>> Really?
...
>> Sure,
...
>> Rachel. I was thinking of you the whole
...
time.
...
[Applause]
...
>> Look,
...
I'm sorry. All right. I I never meant
...
for you to find out.
...
>> Oh, please. Please. You wanted to get
...
caught. That is not true.
...
>> So, you just sort of happened to leave
...
it in here?
...
>> Did it ever occur to you that I might
...
just be that stupid?
...
Okay, Monica, I just have to know one
...
thing.
...
>> Did you go with her to Bloomingdales?
...
[Applause]
...
>> Okay,
...
okay,
...
okay. I just really um I just really
...
need to not be with you right now.
...
>> Let me go change in my room. My clothes
...
are
...
[Music]
...
>> Wow, you look
...
>> No time for that.
...
>> Hey, dude. Let me in. I got a girl out
...
here.
...
Well, I've got a girl in here.
...
>> No, you don't. I just saw you go in
...
there with Monica.
...
>> Well, we're we're hanging out in here.
...
Which one of us is going to be having
...
sex in there? Me or you?
...
>> Well, I suppose I would have to say you.
...
>> What if we're watching a movie in here?
...
>> Which we are, and we already paid for
...
it. It's My Giant.
...
My giant. I love that movie.
...
>> Hey,
...
>> what are you doing here? I've been
...
trying to call you.
...
>> Listen. Um
...
>> Oh, no. No, no, don't say listen. I know
...
that. Listen, I've said that. Listen.
...
>> I'm sorry.
...
>> I don't get it. What happened? What
...
about everything you said under the
...
bridge?
...
>> Yeah. Um,
...
you know, you you should just forget
...
about what I said under the bridge. I
...
was talking crazy that night. I was so
...
drunk.
...
>> You don't drink.
...
>> That's right. I don't
...
But I was I was drunk on you.
...
>> Worse.
...
>> But okay. Yeah. So, it's not going to
...
work.
...
>> Why? Is it because I'm friends with
...
Phoebe?
...
If it was, would you stop hanging out
...
with her?
...
>> No. No, I I couldn't do that.
...
>> Um, then yeah, it's cuz of Phoebe.
...
So, you know, it's either her or me.
...
>> Then, uh, then I'm sorry.
...
>> You know,
...
you're going to be really, really hard
...
to get over.
...
I know.
...
>> I don't know whether it's just cuz we're
...
breaking up or what, but you have never
...
looked so beautiful.
...
>> Really?
...
[Music]
...
Thieves.
...
>> Yeah. Monica, my star student. You know,
...
you called me that before. So, I I took
...
the liberty of fashioning a star out of
...
aluminum foil. Now, no pressure. You
...
like my cookies, you give me the star.
...
>> Wow, a star.
...
I know you all hate me and and I'm
...
sorry, but I don't care.
...
Okay, Joey, you're up next.
...
>> Oh my god, this is amazing. You get an
...
A.
...
>> I got an A
...
in school. Hey, I'm a dork.
...
>> Joey, I'm so proud of you.
...
>> I think you should give him your star.
...
Excuse me.
...
>> He doesn't even know what he's doing.
...
>> We're all beginners here. Nobody knows
...
what they're doing.
...
>> I do. I'm a professional chef.
...
>> Oh, relax. It's not a courtroom drama.
...
>> If you're a professional chef, what are
...
you doing taking introduction to
...
cooking? Yeah.
...
>> I'm I'm sorry. It's just that um Well, I
...
cook at this restaurant, Allesandro, and
...
um I just got a really bad review.
...
>> Oh, Allesandro. I love that place.
...
>> You do?
...
>> Oh, yes. You're an excellent chef as a
...
person. You're a little
...
>> Oh, I'm totally crazy. But you like the
...
food
...
>> very much. Okay, then. I don't stink.
...
I'm a good chef. Okay.
...
>> I don't want to go. I'm having fun.
...
Well, actually, did either of you pay
...
for this class?
...
>> Hey, hey, hey. If my friend says it's
...
time to go, it's time to go.
...
>> I make you take an oath?
...
>> No, I made myself take one.
...
>> Yeah. No fooling around with clients and
...
um always be prepared.
...
>> Yeah, that one's actually from the Boy
...
Scouts, but it just makes good sense.
...
>> Why don't you just give them to somebody
...
else?
...
>> No, I can handle it. No, I'm a
...
professional.
...
Oh, Fibs, is that a new ankle bracelet?
...
>> Well, and you got a pedicure. Your feet
...
are all dressed up.
...
>> Because that's the only part of you he
...
can see when he's on the table.
...
>> You're going to do some feet flirting.
...
>> I don't know what you're talking about.
...
>> Then how do you explain the tow ring?
...
>> Because it's Arabian princess day at
...
work. Okay, leave me alone.
...
>> Wanted to
...
>> interesting.
...
>> Anyway,
...
um probably worked out for the best.
...
>> Yeah, sure.
...
>> Okay. In about 10 seconds, you're going
...
to see him kiss me.
...
>> And in about 5 seconds, you're going to
...
see why.
...
Ross, did I ever tell you about the time
...
that I went backpacking through Western
...
Europe?
...
[Laughter]
...
>> Hey, get ready to see some begging.
...
>> Oh, you came on to Ross.
...
>> What?
...
>> Now I'm so happy.
...
>> What are you talking about?
...
>> You use the Europe story. That's the
...
magic story you use when you want to
...
have sex.
...
>> How do you know about that story?
...
>> How do you know about that story?
...
>> I heard it from my friend Irene who
...
heard it from some guy.
...
>> Some guy?
...
>> No. No. She told me that his name was
...
Ken Adams.
...
>> Ken Adams. make you think Barry is
...
seeing someone in the city?
...
What? What would make you think that?
...
Well, ever since we announced the
...
engagement, he's been acting really
...
weird. And then last night, he came home
...
smelling like Chanel.
...
Really,
...
if it'll make you feel any better, when
...
Barry and I first got engaged, he went
...
through a whole weird thing, too. Oh,
...
God. You see, that's what I was afraid
...
of. What? What's afraid of? Okay. Okay.
...
When Barry was engaged to you, he and I
...
kind of had a little thing on the side.
...
I know. I know. And when he proposed to
...
me, everyone said, "Don't do it. He's
...
just going to do to you what he did to
...
Rachel." And now I feel so stupid.
...
Oh, Mindy.
...
Oh, you are so stupid.
...
Oh, we are both so stupid. What do you
...
mean?
...
>> Smell familiar?
...
>> Oh, no.
...
Oh, I'm so sorry. Oh, no. Me. I am so
...
sorry. No, I am sorry. I'm sorry.
...
>> You want to see something?
...
>> Sure. What? Okay. Um, this is going to
...
be fun. Watch me freak out, Chandler.
...
>> Honey.
...
>> Yeah.
...
>> Listen, uh I I've been doing some
...
thinking and I don't know whether it's
...
because we're here or Rachel's giving
...
birth,
...
but um
...
I think we should try to have a baby.
...
>> Okay.
...
>> What was it now?
...
>> Okay. Hey, I've been thinking about it,
...
too. And I I think we're ready. What?
...
>> Are you kidding me? You You You think
...
we're ready to have a baby now?
...
>> Oh, this is fun.
...
>> You're ready to have a baby? My boy's
...
all grown up.
...
>> You said you were ready, too.
...
>> Yeah, but I was just screwing with you
...
to to try to get your voice all high and
...
weird like mine is now.
...
>> Guess what? Haven't you wanted a kid
...
like forever? Okay, just back off,
...
mister.
...
>> Wait for me.
...
>> It was a mistake. I made a mistake.
...
Okay,
...
>> a mistake. What were you trying to put
...
it in? Her purse.
...
>> Where? Where did he put it?
...
[Applause]
...
>> Ros, you had sex with another woman.
...
>> Oh my god.
...
>> Oh god. I knew something had to be wrong
...
because my fingernails did not grow at
...
all yesterday.
...
>> Yeah. Well, I guess they had a fight and
...
he got drunk.
...
>> You guys knew about this and you didn't
...
tell us.
...
>> He had sex and we get hit in our heads.
...
>> You know what? I want you to leave. Get
...
out of here. Just get out.
...
>> No. No. I want to stay. I want to talk
...
about this.
...
>> Okay. All right. How was she?
...
>> Uh-oh.
...
>> What
...
>> was she good?
...
>> Don't answer that.
...
>> I know. She said, "You wanted to talk
...
about it. Let's talk about it." How was
...
she?
...
>> She was awful.
...
>> She was not good. Not good.
...
>> Compared to
...
She was different. Oh.
...
>> Uhoh.
...
>> Good. Different.
...
>> Nobody likes change.
...
>> Should we do something?
...
>> Yeah. Never cheat on Rachel.
...
I'm sorry. Okay. I'm sorry. I I was
...
disgusted with myself and then this
...
morning I was so I was I was so upset
...
and then I got your message and I was so
...
happy and all I wanted was to get her
...
out of my apartment as fast as possible.
...
>> Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Wait a minute.
...
>> What time did your little friend leave?
...
>> Oh my god. She was there.
...
>> She was still there. She was in there
...
when I was in there.
...
>> Oh, Jessica.
...
>> Hey.
...
>> So, how is this for a big double date
...
tonight?
...
>> Oh my god.
...
>> Oo, great. Just the reaction I was
...
hoping for.
...
>> Yeah. So, you uh you found someone for
...
me? You didn't forget?
...
>> Of course not. And you are going to love
...
Mary Ellen. She's really smart and cute
...
and funny. And I can't tell you how I
...
know this, but she is not opposed to
...
threesomes.
...
>> Yeah. So, tell me something about my
...
guy.
...
>> No.
...
>> Come on, give me something. What's his
...
name?
...
>> Mike.
...
>> Mike?
...
>> Yeah. Yeah.
...
>> Okay. What's his last name?
...
>> Damn it. Is there no mystery left in
...
romance anymore?
...
>> All right. We'll see you and Mike at the
...
restaurant in a couple hours.
...
>> All right, great.
...
>> All right.
...
>> See you.
...
>> All right.
...
>> Why did I have to say Mike? I don't
...
know, Mike. Why couldn't I said
...
>> there's no guys in there?
...
>> And wrap up all of your Christmas gifts.
...
>> No,
...
>> I uh Oh, I'll squeeze you fresh orange
...
juice every morning
...
>> with extra pumps.
...
>> Yeah.
...
>> No,
...
>> dude.
...
I've got it.
...
>> You don't have it.
...
>> I so got it. There's going to be rumors
...
about this. There's no way to stop it.
...
Sophie knows. Monica and Phoebe know.
...
>> How do Monica and Phoebe know?
...
>> Oh, I called them.
...
>> When they ask me what I saw, I can be
...
very generous
...
>> or very stingy.
...
Go on.
...
>> I can make you a legend.
...
I can make you this generation's Milton
...
Burl.
...
>> When Milton Burl has
...
>> Oh, not compared to you.
...
>> Hello.
...
>> Hey.
...
>> Hello, Chandler.
...
>> I love you.
...
>> Hey, what's going on?
...
Oh,
...
>> no he doesn't.
...
>> Two hours that lasted. I went to a bar
...
and then I just uh just walked around
...
for a while.
...
>> You walked around all night in the city
...
by yourself.
...
>> He hooked up.
...
>> He hooked up with someone.
...
>> Look, I don't have to answer your
...
questions. Okay. I'm a big boy. I can do
...
whatever I want.
...
>> He hooked up.
...
>> Tell us about her.
...
>> Ross, you left your scarf in.
...
[Applause]
...
>> Hey, you guys.
...
[Music]
...
Well, I can promise you at least one
...
person will be crying. You know, I'm an
...
actor and any actor worth his salt can
...
cry on Q.
...
>> Really? Can do that?
...
>> Oh, you kidding me? Watch.
...
>> Well, I can't do it with you guys
...
watching me.
...
>> Mom, Chandler was just saying how
...
beautiful your sweater is.
...
>> Oh, thank you, Chandler. I just bought
...
it.
...
>> Oh, yes. as well. It's very beautiful
...
and it's cream colored and tight. And
...
I don't mean tight. I mean it's not too
...
tight. Not that I was looking at
...
>> What's the matter with him?
...
>> I think he's stoned again.
...
>> What?
...
>> What?
...
>> Dude, I need to talk to you a sec.
...
>> Okay. I think I might know why my
...
parents don't like you. You do? Why?
...
>> Okay. Remember we were young.
...
>> Hey,
...
>> spring break, sophomore year, I I got
...
high in my bedroom and my parents walked
...
in and smelled it and so I told them
...
that you had gotten stoned and jumped
...
out the window.
...
>> What? Why did you do that?
...
>> I don't know. Uh, yours was the first
...
name that that popped into my head. I'm
...
I'm sorry. I didn't I didn't think it'd
...
matter.
...
>> How could it not matter? Well, how was I
...
supposed to know we'd end up being
...
friends after college? Let alone knew
...
you you'd be living with my sister.
...
>> What about all that friends forever
...
stuff?
...
>> I don't know. I I was all high.
...
>> Mom and dad just sent me in here to find
...
out if you were trying to get Ross
...
stoned.
...
>> Your parents caught Ross smoking pot in
...
college and he blamed it on me.
...
>> Ross, I can't believe you do that.
...
>> The reason we haven't told them we're
...
together is because they hate me. Okay.
...
So, will you fix this?
...
>> Okay. Okay. I'll tell them it wasn't
...
Chandler who got high.
...
>> Okay.
...
>> Now, who should I say it was?
...
>> You. It's not like it's a big deal. You
...
You don't still do it or anything.
...
>> All right. All right. Now, now, who
...
should I say tricked me into doing it?
...
>> Let's go.
...
>> Oh, yeah. About telling mom and dad. I
...
was thinking about maybe writing a
...
letter. All right. You know what? That's
...
it. You've had your chance.
...
>> What?
...
>> Mom, Dad, Ross smoked pot in college.
...
>> What?
...
>> You are such a tattletail.
...
>> Mom, Dad,
...
you remember that that time you walked
...
in my room and smelled marijuana?
...
>> Yes.
...
>> Yes.
...
Well, I told you it was Chandler who was
...
smoking the pot, but
...
it was me. I'm sorry.
...
>> It was you. And Dad, you know that
...
mailman that you got fired didn't steal
...
your Playboys? Ross did.
...
[Laughter]
...
>> Yeah. Well, Hurricane Gloria didn't
...
break the porch swing. Monica dead.
...
>> Ross hasn't worked at the museum for a
...
year.
...
>> Monica and Chandler are living together.
...
>> Ross married Rachel in Vegas and got
...
divorced again.
...
>> That's a lot of information to get in 30
...
seconds.
...
All right, Monica. Why you felt you had
...
to hide the fact that you're in an
...
important relationship is beyond me.
...
>> And we kind of figured about the porch
...
swing.
...
>> Brass, drugs, divorced again.
...
>> What happened, son? I I uh I got tricked
...
into all those things.
...
Chandler,
...
you've been Ross's best friend all these
...
years, stuck by him during the drug
...
problems,
...
>> and now you've taken on Monica as well.
...
Well, I don't know what to say. You're a
...
wonderful human being.
...
>> Thank you.
...
>> No, thank you,
...
Monica and Ross. I don't know what I'm
...
going to do about the two of you.
...
>> I'll talk to them.
...
>> Hi,
...
>> Rich. Ra, I am so sorry. I am so so
...
sorry.
...
>> Oh, Ross, come on. You just did what you
...
had to do.
...
>> Well, that's it. You're not mad. I mean,
...
it must have been terrible.
...
>> Terrible? Hell, I was in Greece.
...
That was a nice hotel, nice beach, met
...
the nice people. It's not too shabby for
...
Rachel.
...
>> So, what? That's it?
...
>> Oh, yeah. We're cool. Totally cool.
...
>> Thanks. Right. You're the best.
...
>> Oh, no. You're the best.
...
>> Oh, I got to go to the flower store.
...
Check it out. No one will tell me where
...
Emily is. So, I'm going to send 72 long
...
stemmed red roses to her parents' house.
...
One for each day that I've known and
...
loved her. That ought to get her talking
...
to me again.
...
>> Oh, Ross, when you make out the card, be
...
sure to make it out to Emily.
...
>> That's great. It's so good that you had
...
such a good time in Greece.
...
>> What?
...
I didn't have a good time in Greece.
...
Ross abandoned me, okay? I couldn't get
...
a plane out, so I had to stay in their
...
honeymoon suite with people coming up to
...
me all the time going, "Oh, Mrs. Keller,
...
why are you crying?"
...
I mean, it was so humiliating. I felt
...
like such an idiot. I mean, it's all my
...
fault. And you know why? Because I make
...
very bad decisions.
...
>> Oh, that's not true. Yes, it is. It is
...
true. I I went after Ross in stupid
...
London.
...
>> London is stupid. Stupid.
...
>> Phoebe, you were right. I should have
...
never gone to London. And from now on,
...
you make all of my decisions for me.
...
>> Oh, no. I did that for someone once. I'm
...
I'm not comfortable having that kind of
...
power and control over someone's life.
...
>> I'll do it.
...
>> That's fine. So, Monica, you are now in
...
charge of my love life.
...
got to go. Miss you, too. I love you,
...
but it's getting real late now.
...
>> Hey, ma. Listen. I made the appointment
...
with Dr. Baza. And
...
>> excuse me.
...
>> Did you know this isn't ma?
...
[Laughter]
...
Her name's Ronnie.
...
She's a pet mortician.
...
>> Sure.
...
>> So, how long you've been?
...
>> Remember when you were a little kid? I
...
used to take you to the Navyyard and
...
show you the big ships.
...
>> Since then?
...
>> No, it's only been 6 years. I just
...
wanted to put a nice memory in your head
...
so you'd know that I wasn't always such
...
a terrible guy.
...
Joe, you ever been in love?
...
>> I don't know.
...
>> Then you haven't.
...
>> You're burning your tomatoes.
...
>> Huh? You'll want to talk.
...
>> Joe, your dad's in love big time. And
...
the worst part of it is it's with two
...
different women.
...
>> Oh, man. Please tell me one of them is
...
Ma.
...
>> Of course. Of course. One of them is Ma.
...
What's the matter with you?
...
Hey, Joe. Hey, Dad. Ronnie's here. Huh?
...
>> Hi.
...
>> Hey.
...
>> Hey.
...
>> Hello, babe. What? What? What are you
...
doing here?
...
>> Oh, uh, well, you left your good hair at
...
my apartment. I figured you need it
...
tomorrow for your meeting.
...
>> Thank you. Um,
...
so, who's up for a big game of Kplunk?
...
Look, I uh I I shouldn't have come. I I
...
better get going. I don't want to miss
...
the last train.
...
>> No, no, hun. I I don't want you taking
...
that thing to swing this.
...
>> Oh, where am I going to stay? Here.
...
>> Wo ho.
...
>> We'll go to a hotel.
...
>> Go to a hotel.
...
>> No, you won't.
...
>> No, he won't.
...
>> If you go to a hotel, you'll be doing
...
stuff. I want you right here where I can
...
keep an eye on you.
...
>> You're going to keep an eye on us?
...
That's right, mister. And I don't care
...
how old you are. As long as you're under
...
my roof, you're going to live by my
...
rule.
...
>> And that means no sleeping with your
...
girlfriend.
...
>> Wow, he's strict.
...
>> Now, Dad, you'll be in my room. Ronnie,
...
uh, you can stay in Chandler's room.
...
>> Thanks. You're uh you're you're a good
...
kid.
...
>> Come on. I I'll show you to my room.
...
That sounds so weird when it's not
...
followed by no thanks. It's late.
...
[Applause]
...
>> Okay, now this is just for tonight.
...
Starting tomorrow, you got to make a
...
change. 6 years is long enough.
...
>> What kind of change? Well, either you
...
break it off with Ronnie.
...
>> I can't do that.
...
>> Then you got to come clean with Ma. This
...
is not right.
...
>> Yeah, but this
...
>> I don't want to hear it. Now go to my
...
room.
...
>> Come in.
...
I've been waiting for you.
...
Hi. I just want Oh my god. Oh my god.
...
Michael. Oh my god. Okay. I'm sorry.
...
Sorry. I I was um I was taking a nap.
...
Since when do you take naps in that
...
position?
...
>> Oh god. Monica, tell me you were waiting
...
for a guy. Please tell me you're waiting
...
for a guy. Guess I was a guy from work.
...
I'm seeing a guy from work. Ha.
...
That cute waiter guy from your
...
restaurant. The one that looks like a
...
non-threatening Ray Leota.
...
>> Uhhuh. That one. You know what? Just
...
give me a second. I'll be out of your
...
hair. I'm just going to grab a jacket.
...
When I get back, I want every little
...
detail.
...
Maybe that's him. Okay. Um Okay. Um
...
it's just Joey and Ross.
...
Why aren't you guys at the movie?
...
>> Well, we were, but Ross was talking so
...
loud on his phone, they threw us out.
...
>> I had to talk loud because the movie was
...
loud.
...
>> He's talking to London.
...
>> Oh my god. Did he get in touch with
...
Emily?
...
>> Well, no, not yet. He's calling everyone
...
on her side of the family, hoping that
...
someone will help him get in touch with
...
her.
...
>> I I don't care if I said some other
...
girl's name, you prissy old twit.
...
>> Ross, way to suck up to the family.
...
[Laughter]
...
I'm so glad you guys are all here. My
...
office finally got wrinkle-free fax
...
paper.
...
[Music]
Key Vocabulary
Start Practicing
| Vocabulary | Meanings |
|---|---|
|
message /ˈmesɪdʒ/ B1 |
|
|
lawyer /ˈlɔːjər/ B1 |
|
|
assume /əˈsuːm/ B2 |
|
|
phasing /ˈfeɪzɪŋ/ C1 |
|
|
laboratory /ləˈbɒrətri/ B1 |
|
|
identified /aɪˈdentɪfaɪd/ B1 |
|
|
errors /ˈerərz/ B1 |
|
|
dating /ˈdeɪtɪŋ/ B1 |
|
|
accent /ˈæksənt/ B1 |
|
|
nervous /ˈnɜːrvəs/ A2 |
|
|
permanent /ˈpɜːrmənənt/ B1 |
|
|
crazy /ˈkreɪzi/ A2 |
|
|
embarrassing /ɪmˈbærəsɪŋ/ B1 |
|
|
notice /ˈnoʊtɪs/ A2 |
|
|
diversion /daɪˈvɜːrʒən/ B2 |
|
|
suspicious /səˈspɪʃəs/ B1 |
|
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