Display Bilingual:

Self-help gurus are quickly taking over 00:00
the internet. From podcasts to YouTube 00:02
channels and GAP commercials, you can't 00:04
avoid them, even if you try really, 00:07
really hard. Self-help used to live on 00:09
the fringe, quiet corners of a bookstore 00:11
and niche seminars. But now it's 00:13
mainstream. It's a space where experts, 00:15
gurus, and idiots like me all sit side 00:18
by side in your feed. There's a lot of 00:21
good that's come from this obsession 00:23
with self-development. I mean, we got 00:24
this B-roll of Ali Abdal in the shower. 00:26
But there's also a dark side. Because 00:28
when the rewards are power, money, and 00:30
influence, things like morality, ethics, 00:32
and honesty often take a backseat. I 00:35
want to uncover how self-help gurus win 00:37
followers, help to open your eyes, and 00:40
then your wallet. This video is 00:42
sponsored by Squarespace. More on them 00:45
later. So, I think I'm in a pretty 00:46
unique position to explore this topic. 00:48
I've been a fan of self-help content 00:50
since I was probably 16 years old. I've 00:52
read many self-help books. I've 00:55
implemented a lot of that advice into my 00:57
life and I've seen real improvements 00:59
because of it. I also started this 01:01
YouTube channel nearly 10 years ago 01:02
sharing the things I've learned and 01:04
documenting my own habit experiments. 01:06
I've done over 30 of them on everything 01:08
from cold showers to powerlifting. I've 01:10
made documentaries with self-help gurus. 01:12
I've interviewed them on my channel and 01:15
I've even built my own course on habit 01:17
change, which I eventually shut down, 01:19
but more on that later. Over that time, 01:21
I've seen how the self-help industry has 01:23
completely exploded in popularity, 01:25
especially on YouTube. There are 01:28
thousands of channels teaching you how 01:30
to fix your business, improve your 01:31
relationships, master your finances, or 01:32
unlock your inner masculine energy. If 01:35
you're not ripped, if you're not rich, 01:37
if you ain't rare, if you don't stand 01:39
out, if you ain't across the board 01:41
successful, it doesn't mean to me. 01:43
>> At their best, people share their ideas 01:46
honestly and from a genuine desire to 01:48
help others. On the other hand, you have 01:50
those driven primarily by personal gain. 01:52
This is where you find most self-help 01:55
grifters. A self-help grifter is someone 01:57
who promises transformation, purpose, or 01:59
success, but whose real skill lies in 02:02
manipulation. They rely on unethical 02:04
marketing tactics and misleading 02:07
communication, not to make a difference, 02:08
but to grow their influence and line 02:11
their pockets. It's hard to know 02:13
someone's true intentions, but we can 02:14
look at their actions. So rather than 02:16
attacking someone's character or style, 02:18
I want to focus on the core principles 02:21
that help people rise to the ranks of 02:22
self-help guru and more importantly how 02:24
those principles can be twisted in 02:27
deceptive ways to build fame and wealth. 02:29
The first and most foundational among 02:31
them building a strong parasocial bond 02:33
with your followers. This isn't a new 02:36
idea. Psychologists have been studying 02:38
this for decades. In his classic book, 02:40
Influence, Robert Chaldini calls it the 02:42
liking principle, and it's one of the 02:45
most powerful tools in persuasion. When 02:47
we like someone, we instinctively trust 02:49
them more. And that's exactly why so 02:51
many self-help gurus put so much effort 02:53
into being relatable, charming, or 02:55
funny. Because once you like them, 02:57
influencing you becomes much easier. 02:59
>> Wow, there's so much choice. How does 03:01
anyone decide what has to be? 03:03
>> But here's the catch. This is a one-way 03:05
relationship. In a parasocial 03:08
relationship, the audience member feels 03:09
like they personally know the creator 03:11
because of the intimacy of the content. 03:13
Eye contact with the camera, direct 03:16
address, personal stories, 03:18
behindthe-scene glimpses, but the 03:20
creator doesn't really know them at all. 03:22
Sure, they might read some comments or 03:23
shake a few hands at an event, but they 03:25
don't really know the millions of people 03:27
watching their videos. 03:29
>> Logically, we know that Taylor Swift has 03:30
50 million Twitter followers and that in 03:32
all likelihood, she is not talking 03:35
directly to us. We know that we don't 03:36
have real two-sided relationships and 03:39
yet sometimes it feels like we do. 03:41
>> Take one of the biggest self-help 03:45
podcasters in the world, Mel Robbins. 03:46
Journalist Scott Carney, who spent years 03:49
investigating the self-help industry, 03:50
has talked about how Robins uses 03:53
parasocial bonding to make viewers feel 03:54
an emotional closeness to her. Mel 03:57
Robbins has never met you. She has no 03:59
real relationship with you. And yet 04:02
there's a certain genius as to how she 04:05
makes her audience believe that she's 04:08
actually their friend. 04:10
>> It is always an honor to spend time with 04:12
you. I'm so glad that you're here with 04:14
me right now. I want to say it's always 04:16
such an honor to spend time and to be 04:17
together with you. Here's what I know 04:19
about you. I know you're the type of 04:21
person you value your time. You're the 04:22
kind of person who values information 04:24
that can help you take control of your 04:27
health. I know you're the kind of person 04:29
who values showing up for yourself. It 04:30
is the perfect thing for you to listen 04:32
to at this exact moment in time and you 04:35
will feel better. I mean, just imagine 04:38
that future. I can see that for you. And 04:40
in case no one else tells you today, I 04:42
wanted to tell you I love you that I 04:44
love you. I love you. I love you for 04:46
listening to this and I believe in you 04:48
and I believe in you and I'm proud of 04:50
you for hitting play on this episode. 04:52
What you're hearing today is meant just 04:54
for you. Whether you love Mel Robbins or 04:57
not, it's worth thinking about this type 04:59
of communication closely. If you've 05:00
never spoken directly to camera before 05:02
like this, you might not realize how 05:04
strange it actually is. As someone who 05:07
does this for a living, I can tell you 05:09
it is not natural. So, I know it's easy 05:11
to forget when you're watching a video, 05:14
but this is what I'm looking at when I'm 05:15
actually filming a video. There's no 05:17
humans here. So, let's see if I can 05:20
channel my inner Mel Robbins. If you're 05:21
watching this, I want you to know that I 05:24
love you. I love the person you are. I 05:26
love the person you're becoming. So, 05:30
make sure that you share this with your 05:31
friends so they too can feel that love. 05:33
And so we can grow our engagement 05:35
numbers, increase ad revenue, and maybe 05:36
even turn this into a book deal. I 05:38
wasn't feeling that one, guys. Let's 05:39
let's do that one more time. If you're 05:40
watching this, I want you to know that I 05:42
love you. I think there are two ways to 05:45
interpret this kind of communication. 05:47
The generous view is that people are 05:48
trying to help their viewers feel seen 05:50
and supported. It's their way of 05:52
spreading compassion and using language 05:53
to lift people up. The less generous 05:55
view is that it's a strategy. Much 05:57
similar to how AI uses flattery to win 05:59
you over. This type of messaging is a 06:01
way to build affection and loyalty. We 06:03
can't know people's true intentions. But 06:06
speaking as a creator myself, I find the 06:08
style of communication to be 06:10
disingenuous. While I'm sure I've 06:12
slipped into this kind of language at 06:13
times, it's something that I'm much more 06:15
mindful of and actively try to avoid. 06:18
While the communication itself might 06:20
feel genuine, it's really just a 06:22
performance into a camera in an empty 06:24
room. You know, I wasn't really feeling 06:27
that one. Let's do that one more time. 06:28
If you want to understand why some 06:30
people build massive followings, even 06:31
when their ideas are questionable, you 06:33
have to understand the power of 06:35
authority. Much like likability, 06:36
authority changes how we listen. It 06:39
shapes how much weight we give to 06:41
someone's words, how skeptical we are of 06:42
their claims, and how quickly we accept 06:44
what they say as truth. If someone looks 06:47
the part, sounds the part, or signals 06:49
expertise in just the right way, we're 06:52
far more likely to trust them, often 06:54
without even realizing it. It's the same 06:56
reason someone in a high viz vest with a 06:58
clipboard can stroll past security 06:59
without an ID. We're wired to look for 07:01
signals that help us make quick 07:03
decisions about who to trust. Titles, 07:05
credentials, uniforms, these all act as 07:07
shortcuts that save us time and mental 07:09
effort. And while some people are 07:12
genuine authorities in their fields, 07:13
others stretch or exaggerate their 07:15
qualifications to appear more credible 07:17
than they really are. Take Dr. Joe 07:19
Despensza. He talks extensively about 07:21
neuroscience and quantum physics. So you 07:23
might assume that his doctor title is in 07:25
one of those fields. It's not. His 07:27
doctorate is in chiropractic care. Sure, 07:29
you can technically put doctor in front 07:32
of your name, but that's not the same 07:34
thing as holding a PhD or an MD. It's 07:35
possible that Dispensza's title just 07:38
carried over from his previous training 07:40
as a chiropractor, but you can't deny 07:41
that it helps him look more legitimate 07:44
when he's technically as qualified to 07:46
talk about quantum physics as your 07:48
dentist. Another big name in the 07:49
self-help world is Mr. Green Eyes. 07:51
Sorry, that's Dr. Green Eyes. J Shetty 07:53
Shetty first exploded on Facebook where 07:56
he has over 30 million followers. He's 07:58
since built massive audiences on 08:00
Instagram and Tik Tok as well. And if 08:02
you've watched his content, you know the 08:04
vibe. earnest, dramatic, very serious. 08:05
>> Forgive yourself for letting someone 08:08
make you feel like you were easy to let 08:10
go. Forgive yourself for making them 08:13
number one when you were just a second 08:16
thought. Forgive yourself for helping 08:18
them heal when all they did was hurt 08:21
you. 08:23
>> Forgive me. No, don't do it, Matt. Don't 08:24
do it. I promised myself that I wouldn't 08:27
make any personal attacks, and I I'm not 08:30
going to do it. Jay, he's not my cup of 08:33
tea. But putting aside personal 08:36
preferences, he has been criticized for 08:38
very legitimate reasons, including 08:40
rampant plagiarism early in his career. 08:43
>> It's not like he reposted somebody 08:45
else's meme. He crops their name out and 08:46
puts in J Shetty. That's stealing. 08:49
>> See, the challenge is that we're meant 08:52
to love people and use things, but today 08:54
we use people and love things. We spend 08:56
more times holding our phones than we 08:58
hold each other. When you're young, you 09:00
say, "I love you because I need you." 09:02
when you grow up, you realize I need you 09:03
because I love you. 09:05
>> But it wasn't just the plagiarism that 09:07
raised concerns. His entire backstory, 09:09
the foundation of his authority itself 09:11
in the self-help space, has also been 09:13
called into question. One of the biggest 09:15
pillars of Shett's brand is his origin 09:17
story. A story he's told many times in 09:19
podcast, books, and interviews. He 09:22
describes being a business student 09:24
destined for corporate life until one 09:25
transformative lecture from a monk 09:27
changed everything. It was the most 09:29
captivating presentation I've ever been 09:31
to. And he spoke about selflessness and 09:33
service and kindness and it just got me 09:36
hooked. 09:39
>> He left behind the material world, moved 09:39
to India and returned with timeless 09:41
wisdom. It's a compelling narrative. We 09:43
have warm, fuzzy, almost romantic 09:45
associations with monks, humility, 09:47
wisdom, and discipline. We love this 09:49
idea of someone abandoning a comfortable 09:51
western life for spiritual 09:53
enlightenment. But according to an 09:54
investigation by John McDerman of the 09:56
Guardian, there are several 09:58
inconsistencies with his timeline. 09:59
>> Jay never misses an opportunity to 10:02
remind people that he was a monk for 3 10:04
years. And typically when he describes 10:06
this, he says, "I was a monk in India 10:08
and I traveled around a little bit 10:10
across Europe." 10:11
>> Decided to turn down my corporate job 10:12
offers and go and live as a monk in 10:13
India for 3 years. So I looked into it 10:15
and I found ample evidence that he was 10:17
actually stationed in Watford, which is 10:20
a city just outside of London for the 10:23
vast majority of the time that he was a 10:25
monk, and that he had been in India for 10:26
just a few months. 10:29
>> Some people might think it's perfectly 10:30
acceptable for someone to embellish 10:32
their story, to remove facts, or to 10:33
smooth out timelines for the sake of a 10:35
tight 5-minute television appearance. 10:37
But there's clear benefits that gurus 10:39
get when they bend their experience to 10:41
create this kind of authority. As we 10:43
climb further up the self-help ladder, 10:44
we reach one of the most powerful forces 10:46
in the guru playbook, the halo effect. 10:48
Many gurus start out in one specific 10:51
niche, psychology, fitness, business, 10:53
nutrition. This may or may not be an 10:56
area where they have real experience, 10:57
expertise, or qualifications. But as 11:00
their audience grows, that niche can 11:02
start to feel limiting. So they broaden 11:04
their scope. They do this with the halo 11:07
effect. The halo effect is a well 11:08
doumented cognitive bias where you 11:10
actually you know what let me hand this 11:13
one over to Jay. We ascribe certain 11:15
qualities to someone based on something 11:18
we like about them. So if we find 11:21
someone attractive we say they must be 11:23
trustworthy. If we think someone's good 11:25
at talking or we enjoy the way they 11:27
speak we're like they must be organized. 11:29
If someone has a good job or dresses 11:32
well we say oh they must be driven and 11:34
focused. So, we start giving them 11:36
qualities that they haven't actually 11:38
showed us they have, and we set 11:41
ourselves up for failure because we're 11:43
hoping for them to have more than 11:46
they've actually told us they have or 11:48
shown us they have. 11:50
>> Yeah, it's so fascinating. 11:51
>> It's why Dr. Mike Israel can move from 11:52
fitness advice to political commentary, 11:55
or how Jordan Peterson can start out as 11:57
a psychology professor at the University 11:59
of Toronto, then expand into areas like 12:01
climate science, culture wars, and 12:03
political identity. To be clear, I don't 12:05
think you have to hold a degree to speak 12:08
on a topic. That would be ridiculous. 12:09
But we should be wary of how easily 12:12
confidence can distort how we interpret 12:14
a message. Popular family physician and 12:16
content creator Dr. Mike, a different 12:18
Dr. Mike than I previously mentioned 12:21
calls this the epidemic of the I know it 12:23
all expert and he argues that our 12:25
collective discomfort with uncertainty 12:27
is exactly what allows bad actors to 12:29
thrive. There are too many of these 12:31
experts out there claiming to have all 12:34
of the answers when the rest of the 12:36
scientific community has questions. 12:38
Now, this may surprise you, but you and 12:41
I are both partially, 12:45
if not more so, to blame for this 12:48
epidemic. When someone says to us they 12:51
don't know, we're quick to judge. We're 12:53
quick to dismiss. The irony, as Dr. Mike 12:56
points out, is that the real experts, 12:59
the people worth listening to, are 13:01
usually the ones most aware of how much 13:03
they don't know. They're cautious. 13:06
They're humble. and they understand that 13:07
science and self-improvement are built 13:09
on questions, not on having all the 13:11
answers. This video is sponsored by 13:13
Squarespace. Now, listen, if you really 13:16
want to become a legit self-help guru, 13:18
you're going to need a legit website. 13:22
So, let's build one. Step one, head over 13:24
to Squarespace to grab the perfect 13:26
domain like the minimalist messiah.com. 13:28
Step two, use Squarespace's blueprint AI 13:31
website builder to design a slick 13:33
looking website in minutes. Step three, 13:35
come up with an inspiring slogan, 13:37
something like awaken your inner mat. 13:39
And of course, don't forget the 13:41
essentials. An about page telling the 13:42
story of how you found yourself at a 13:44
luxury resort in Thailand. Connect with 13:46
your audience through heartfelt blog 13:48
posts about how much you love them. And 13:49
finally, launch the Mattlightenment 13:51
Accelerator program available for the 13:52
deeply discounted price of $4,999.99. 13:54
Or, you know, you could skip all that 13:58
and just use Squarespace how I actually 14:00
use it to host links to my work, collect 14:02
email signups for my newsletter, and run 14:04
my business in a way that doesn't take 14:06
advantage of people. Whether you're a 14:08
YouTuber, freelancer, or full-time 14:09
professional, you can get started with a 14:12
free trial at squarespace.com. 14:13
And then when you're ready to launch, go 14:17
to squarespace.com/matti 14:19
and you'll get 10% off your first 14:22
purchase of a website or domain. Thanks 14:24
to Squarespace for supporting my work 14:26
and sponsoring this video. The next 14:28
level up in the self-help guru playbook 14:30
is reciprocity. Reciprocity is a basic 14:33
human instinct. It runs so deep in us 14:36
that we often don't notice how much it 14:38
shapes who we trust and how we behave. 14:40
Sometimes it's genuine and 14:43
unintentional. Other times it's a 14:44
deliberate strategy designed to win you 14:46
over. Psychologist Robert Charaldini has 14:48
written about how the Hari Krishna 14:51
devotees canvased in public areas. At 14:52
first, people rarely donated to them. 14:55
Many distrusted them or disliked their 14:57
presence. To change that, the group 14:59
adopted a new strategy. They gave out 15:00
small gifts first, often a flower or a 15:02
small book. We'd like you to have this 15:05
flower from the Religious Consciousness 15:07
Church. Would you care to make a 15:09
donation? 15:10
>> No, but thank you anyway. 15:10
>> When the person tried to refuse or give 15:12
it back, the Christian member would 15:14
insist, "No, this is a gift. It's yours 15:16
to keep." Only after that would they ask 15:18
for a donation. Because of this human 15:21
impulse towards reciprocity, the feeling 15:23
that one must return kindness, many 15:25
people felt obliged to donate, even when 15:28
they didn't really want to. Self-help 15:29
gurus, content creators, and influencers 15:31
use this principle in several ways. They 15:33
constantly remind you that they give 15:36
away 99% of their content for free, 15:38
framing it as a gift rather than a 15:40
source of ad revenue or brand building. 15:42
It's a simple way you can support me and 15:45
the team. It's a way you can support us 15:46
in bringing you worldclass experts every 15:48
single day for free. 15:50
>> They offer free resources or guides in 15:52
exchange for your email, which they 15:54
later use to sell you a course. In this 15:55
100% free training, I'm going to walk 15:57
you through the entire process. They 15:59
host free webinars that end in a limited 16:01
time upsell. 16:03
>> Webinars are one of the most valuable 16:04
things you can do to build your audience 16:06
and to monetize that audience. We made 16:08
$1.4 million in 92 minutes. And then we 16:12
made another 5.2 $2 million two weeks 16:15
later because of the product we offer. I 16:18
mean, the politicians can't even steal 16:20
that much money. 16:22
>> None of these strategies are inherently 16:24
unethical. Lead magnets, the free 16:25
resources you get in exchange for an 16:27
email, are everywhere. I even use them 16:29
myself, and so do many of the creators I 16:31
genuinely respect. What matters is 16:34
understanding that very little online is 16:35
truly free. When you hand over your 16:37
email, you're likely signing up for a 16:39
future sales pitch. That's not 16:40
necessarily bad. That's marketing. The 16:42
problem is when these tactics are pushed 16:44
too far, funneling people into high 16:46
pressure or predatory sales 16:48
environments. I'll talk about that a 16:50
little bit more in the next section. 16:51
Beyond these sales tactics, there's a 16:52
deeper, often unspoken version of 16:54
reciprocity at play. You scratch my 16:57
back, I'll scratch yours. 16:59
>> You and I have been friends for a long 17:01
time, 17:03
>> and we are extremely supportive and fond 17:04
of one another. Our spouses know each 17:07
other. 17:09
>> There's an unspoken rule in the 17:09
self-help world. Don't call out other 17:10
gurus. Don't ask hard questions. Don't 17:13
rock the boat. Mark Manson, author of 17:16
The Subtle Art of Not Giving [ __ ] 17:18
learned this lesson firsthand. After 17:19
building one of the most popular 17:22
self-help podcasts in the world with 17:23
over 30 million downloads, he eventually 17:25
decided to quit the interview format 17:27
altogether. Here's his explanation. I've 17:29
been in this industry for almost 20 17:32
years now. Probably the reason that most 17:33
of you even give a [ __ ] that I'm talking 17:35
right now is I try to be 17:38
independent-minded. I try to say things 17:40
that maybe need to be said and nobody 17:42
else is really saying in the classic 17:44
podcast format of bringing on kind of 17:46
star intellectual guests and thought 17:50
leaders. I felt completely hamstrung to 17:52
be able to do that. It really sucks to 17:55
have a notable guest come on the show 17:57
and start saying something that I 18:00
actually kind of don't agree with or I'm 18:01
like familiar with the research they're 18:04
talking about, but I don't think the 18:05
research is very good. And it puts me in 18:06
a really tough spot of like, okay, do I 18:08
start challenging this guest and 18:10
potentially creating like a big argument 18:12
or a debate on the show, potentially 18:14
alienating the guests, fans of the 18:17
guest, alienating the guests themselves, 18:19
making sure that they're never going to 18:21
come back to the show. Do I put myself 18:23
in a position where I'm like suddenly 18:24
like I I didn't prep for a debate coming 18:26
into this episode, but now like suddenly 18:28
I'm having to put myself in a headsp 18:30
space of of being willing to argue and 18:32
debate a really smart person. It was 18:35
just not fun for me. It felt like a 18:37
no-win situation. 18:38
>> Reciprocity is a powerful, often 18:40
invisible force. It shapes how we view 18:42
others. It often prevents us from 18:44
challenging people. And it's probably 18:47
the reason why it took me so long to 18:48
make this video. We've ascended to the 18:50
highest levels of the self-help guru 18:52
racket. There's just one more level. 18:55
It's time to cash in. You can't talk 18:57
about self-help grifting without talking 18:59
about money. Because while the fame and 19:01
attention might feel nice, this isn't a 19:03
charity. When it comes to turning a 19:05
profit in the self-help world, it 19:07
usually starts with sponsorships. I've 19:08
come to see sponsorships as a sort of 19:11
necessary annoyance in modern content 19:13
creation. As someone who started out 19:15
with an ad-free model, I didn't do a 19:17
single sponsorship until I had nearly 19:19
100 million views on YouTube. And I can 19:21
tell you from experience that the 19:22
fanfunded approach isn't a very 19:24
effective way to monetize your creative 19:25
work. Others, like Tim Ferrris, have 19:28
discovered similar results. People just 19:29
don't want to donate to every creator 19:31
they follow, and they're perfectly happy 19:33
to sit through ads in return for 19:35
content. So, my argument isn't that 19:36
sponsorships are bad, which might be 19:38
obvious since I included one in this 19:40
video. My argument is that creators have 19:41
to be very careful about the brands they 19:44
choose to endorse, especially when 19:45
they're trusted voices in areas like 19:47
finance, health, and wellness. But for 19:49
many, it's easy to turn a blind eye when 19:51
the price gets high enough. One of the 19:54
most ubiquitous sponsors on YouTube and 19:55
in podcasting is AG1 by Athletic Greens. 19:57
You've probably seen it promoted by 20:01
science communicators, longevity 20:02
experts, and podcast hosts alike. 20:04
>> AG1 by Athletic Greens brings 75 20:06
vitamins, minerals, whole food sourced 20:09
ingredients, probiotics, and adaptogens 20:11
together in one place. It might just be 20:13
the most comprehensive and convenient 20:16
nutritional regimen on the planet. There 20:17
are enough videos on YouTube talking 20:19
about the problems with AG1, so I'm not 20:21
going to get stuck in the weeds here, 20:23
but I'll quickly summarize a few of the 20:24
key issues people have with it. AG1's 20:26
proprietary blend hides weak ingredient 20:28
dosages. 20:31
>> The first five ingredients make up 10 g 20:32
of the 12 g serving, leaving a maximum 20:34
of 2 g for everything else. 20:36
>> The bold health claims aren't supported 20:38
by strong evidence. Calling, for 20:39
example, Athletic Greens a high quality 20:41
greens powder is a little misleading. I 20:44
think it's more of a multivitamin. In 20:47
fact, I'm not impressed with AG1 being 20:49
anything more than a multivitamin. It's 20:51
a poor substitute for real nutrition. 20:53
>> This is no way going to be superior to 20:55
consuming fruits and vegetables. 20:58
>> And it's overpriced, meaning you're 20:59
basically just paying for their 21:01
marketing expenses. 21:02
>> This was $99. Probably 50 of that went 21:04
to different people to put it on their 21:06
podcast and say how amazing it is. I 21:08
even found a Forbes article. It even 21:09
says at the top up here, sponsored 21:12
article. You scroll down, buy it now. 21:13
They're getting commission. Everyone's 21:15
getting kicked back. Everyone that's 21:16
talking about this product is getting 21:17
paid to talk about it. 21:18
>> My biggest problem with experts 21:20
promoting this product and products like 21:21
it is that their credibility gives it a 21:23
level of legitimacy it hasn't earned. 21:26
When someone who claims to be an expert 21:28
in nutrition or fitness says that they 21:30
take AG1 every morning, most listeners 21:33
assume that they're making the claim 21:36
from authority, not because they got 21:37
paid to say it. I think most people 21:39
watching this would find it hard to turn 21:41
down the kind of money AG1 pays out. Dr. 21:43
Andrea Love cited an anonymous source 21:45
claiming that Andrew Huberman makes an 21:47
estimated $40 million from AG1 alone. 21:50
>> Simply put, I always feel better when I 21:53
take AG1. 21:55
>> So, yeah, hard money to turn down, but 21:56
it's worth remembering that the people 21:58
that are making that kind of money are 22:00
already making millions and millions of 22:02
dollars anyway. So, you have to ask 22:04
yourself, is it really worth it to risk 22:06
your reputation? Now, for many gurus, 22:09
sponsorships are just the warm-up. The 22:11
real money isn't in selling ads, but in 22:13
selling their own digital products. 22:16
Courses, masterminds, mentorship 22:18
programs, and high ticket retreats are 22:20
where the industry truly cashes in. 22:22
>> It's never just I'm a guru. It's always 22:24
now I have something to sell you. And 22:27
while there's nothing inherently wrong 22:29
with selling education or creating paid 22:30
products, this is often where things 22:32
start to blur. where genuine teaching 22:34
crosses over into exploitation. 22:36
>> Look at these guys. Look at these guys. 22:38
These guys are spending three days with 22:40
me. These guys pay $12,000 each to sit 22:41
in that chair. 3 days. I got to look at 22:44
their ugly faces. 22:46
>> But wait, Matt, didn't you sell a 22:47
self-help course, you hypocrite? Yes, in 22:49
fact, I did. A few years ago, I launched 22:52
my very own self-help course called 22:55
Simple Habits. Before we begin, I'd like 22:57
to give you some background about myself 23:00
and how I came to teach a course on 23:02
habit change. I'm not a trained 23:04
scientist and I don't have a PhD in my 23:05
title, but I am a little bit obsessed 23:08
with change. At the time, it felt like a 23:10
natural step. I was making videos about 23:12
self-improvement, so why not create a 23:14
full course to help people build better 23:15
habits from scratch. I priced it at $145 23:17
and adjusted the cost based on 23:20
purchasing power. So, for example, 23:22
Zimbabwe paid just $36 for the course. 23:24
The course was live for a couple years. 23:27
I invested heavily in updates. And I 23:28
even hired this awesome guy, Pete, who's 23:30
a behavioral scientist, to audit it and 23:32
make sure everything was backed by the 23:34
latest science. But eventually, I 23:36
decided to shut it down and offer it for 23:37
free for anyone who asked. I think I did 23:39
my best to sell this course with honesty 23:41
and integrity. I was transparent about 23:43
my background, careful not to 23:45
overpromise, and I kept the price 23:47
accessible. But even with that, I never 23:50
loved the feeling of selling a self-help 23:52
course. to market something like this, 23:54
it's almost impossible not to lean into 23:56
the expert role, to position yourself as 23:59
the person with all the answers. And 24:02
that just made me feel very 24:03
uncomfortable because that's something I 24:05
never really liked doing on this 24:07
channel. That's why I always leaned into 24:09
habit experiments and teaching uh from 24:11
kind of my own failures and mistakes and 24:14
and the things that I've personally 24:16
learned, not speaking objectively about 24:17
every topic I talked about. I think that 24:19
the more that you lean into that guru 24:22
mode, that expert mode, the more it 24:24
becomes tempting to tap into people's 24:27
insecurities and fears. Other people 24:29
don't really have a problem with it, 24:32
though. 24:34
>> At the heart of every coaching journey 24:35
is a dream for change, 24:37
>> a search for meaning, a search for 24:38
purpose, a search for who we will 24:40
become. But without the right guidance, 24:42
>> these goals can feel out of reach, 24:45
>> leaving us feeling lost, 24:46
>> stuck, struggling to find a clear path 24:48
forward, 24:51
>> yearning for something more. True 24:51
transformation 24:54
>> personally, professionally, globally 24:55
never happens alone. 24:57
>> And it all starts 24:59
>> with $7,000. J. Shetty certification 25:01
school to help you become a life coach 25:04
costs $7,000, which honestly feels a 25:05
little bit steep for somebody who's a 25:09
monk who built his brand on the idea of 25:10
serving others. But the price tag wasn't 25:12
the only thing that raised eyebrows. The 25:14
program supposed credentials turned out 25:16
to be just as questionable. The Jshedy 25:18
certification school claimed that it was 25:20
affiliated with four different 25:22
universities in the UK and essentially 25:23
said that by completing the J Shetty 25:26
certification school, it would put you 25:28
on track to receive a master's degree at 25:30
these universities. By becoming a J 25:33
Shetty certified coach, you will gain 25:35
coaching and business skills, accredited 25:38
certification, pathway to the individual 25:41
coach accreditation, marketing support 25:43
from my platform and a supportive 25:46
network of coaches and students. 25:48
>> I contacted all the universities very 25:50
clear, you know, very straightforwardly 25:52
asked them, what is your affiliation 25:54
with this program? What is the nature of 25:55
the relationship? Can you explain to me? 25:57
All of them said, we have no idea what 25:59
the J Shetty certification school is. We 26:01
have no idea why we are listed on their 26:03
marketing materials and we want our 26:05
names taken off. 26:07
>> Here's where everything comes full 26:08
circle because one of the most powerful 26:09
tools gurus use to sell their courses is 26:11
the parasocial bond they've already 26:14
established. Their teams are trained to 26:16
leverage that emotional connection to 26:18
get you across the finish line and hit 26:20
purchase. 26:23
>> You need to get this in the call. Hey, 26:23
I'm calling because Mr. Cardone wants me 26:25
to give you something. 26:27
>> Okay. 26:28
>> Okay. What What's he want What's he want 26:28
to give me? He wants to give you a pro. 26:30
He's created a sales tool that can 26:32
increase sales 15 to 40%. 26:34
>> Private DMs from J Shett's team to an 26:36
interested student show how this works. 26:38
His sales reps messaged potential 26:40
students directly from his account, 26:42
personalizing their pitches and 26:43
repeatedly named dropping Jay to 26:45
reinforce that connection. Let me let me 26:47
let me read some of these. Today, Jay is 26:48
looking for a few more students to work 26:50
with us. Is it okay if I ask you a 26:52
couple questions from Jay to help us 26:53
work out if you're a good fit for Jay's 26:56
case study? Jay can't wait to help you 26:57
with that over the next 49 days, 27:00
especially with Jay and our team keeping 27:02
you accountable on our live calls. He 27:04
filmed a short six-inute video for you 27:06
with all the details. Wow, that's 27:08
amazing that he took the time to record 27:09
a 6-minute video just for this person. I 27:10
love the surprise he has for you at the 27:12
end. Hey again, Jay wanted to know if 27:14
there was something he did a bad job of 27:16
breaking down. Oh my god. So, this is 27:18
this is crazy. Okay, a good number of 27:20
Jay students are joining because of CO 27:22
19. In their opinion, they have no idea 27:24
how long this crisis will last. So they 27:26
believe that an extra source of online 27:28
income is the safest bet for the safety 27:29
of them and their families. That's 27:31
[ __ ] crazy. They're using the 27:33
pandemic and the fear of the pandemic to 27:34
try to get people to to purchase the 27:37
course. Jay doesn't charge $100,000 like 27:39
college is because he's on a mission to 27:42
help people find their passion and turn 27:44
it into real income. Oh my god, Jay, 27:46
that's amazing. That's so generous that 27:48
you don't charge $100,000 for your 27:49
online course. That'sing crazy. If you 27:51
don't want to join Jay and our family, 27:54
that's totally okay. It's a family. Now, 27:55
this actually sounds like a cult. Here's 27:57
the thing that like is really upsetting 27:59
about this, right? Like you see these 28:01
kind of pushy persuasive sta sales 28:02
strategies. Um, using parasocial 28:05
bonding, uh, using that connection that 28:08
they have with this influential figure, 28:10
using fear to try to get somebody over 28:12
the edge. This person clarifies in the 28:15
DMs that they're making $20,000 a year. 28:17
like you're still pushing hard on 28:19
selling this person a $7,000 course when 28:21
they're making $20,000 US a year. I 28:24
would actively encourage this person not 28:26
to buy the product. If you don't have 28:29
the money, please don't buy this course. 28:31
Please don't. Come on. Can we just be 28:32
better? Can weing? 28:34
So, one question you might be having at 28:36
this point, especially if, like me, you 28:37
enjoy self-help content or even follow 28:39
some of the people that I talked about 28:42
in this video, is this. Even if their 28:43
tactics are questionable, isn't there 28:46
still a net good? It's a fair question. 28:48
Many of the most popular self-help 28:50
figures have millions of followers, 28:52
glowing testimonials, best-selling 28:53
books, and countless stories from people 28:55
whose lives have been improved. That's 28:58
real, and I don't want to dismiss the 29:00
positive impact some of their work has 29:02
had. But both things can be true at the 29:04
same time. They have helped people, and 29:06
they're also engaging in practices that 29:08
are manipulative or misleading. Because 29:10
many of these people are smart, in some 29:12
cases, brilliant. It's hard to accept 29:14
the idea that they just didn't know any 29:16
better. They know exactly what they're 29:18
doing. And at a certain point, the 29:20
motivation stops being about impact and 29:21
starts being about greed. More money, 29:24
more fame, more power. Because for many 29:26
of these figures, enough never seems to 29:28
be enough. And ego and influence often 29:31
go hand in hand. So yes, you can 29:33
appreciate the good things and the good 29:35
advice that these people have offered 29:37
up. And you can also hold them 29:39
accountable. 29:41

– English Lyrics

🎧 Learn and chill with "" – open the app to catch every cool phrase and structure!
By
Viewed
363,544
Language
Learn this song

Lyrics & Translation

[English]
Self-help gurus are quickly taking over
the internet. From podcasts to YouTube
channels and GAP commercials, you can't
avoid them, even if you try really,
really hard. Self-help used to live on
the fringe, quiet corners of a bookstore
and niche seminars. But now it's
mainstream. It's a space where experts,
gurus, and idiots like me all sit side
by side in your feed. There's a lot of
good that's come from this obsession
with self-development. I mean, we got
this B-roll of Ali Abdal in the shower.
But there's also a dark side. Because
when the rewards are power, money, and
influence, things like morality, ethics,
and honesty often take a backseat. I
want to uncover how self-help gurus win
followers, help to open your eyes, and
then your wallet. This video is
sponsored by Squarespace. More on them
later. So, I think I'm in a pretty
unique position to explore this topic.
I've been a fan of self-help content
since I was probably 16 years old. I've
read many self-help books. I've
implemented a lot of that advice into my
life and I've seen real improvements
because of it. I also started this
YouTube channel nearly 10 years ago
sharing the things I've learned and
documenting my own habit experiments.
I've done over 30 of them on everything
from cold showers to powerlifting. I've
made documentaries with self-help gurus.
I've interviewed them on my channel and
I've even built my own course on habit
change, which I eventually shut down,
but more on that later. Over that time,
I've seen how the self-help industry has
completely exploded in popularity,
especially on YouTube. There are
thousands of channels teaching you how
to fix your business, improve your
relationships, master your finances, or
unlock your inner masculine energy. If
you're not ripped, if you're not rich,
if you ain't rare, if you don't stand
out, if you ain't across the board
successful, it doesn't mean to me.
>> At their best, people share their ideas
honestly and from a genuine desire to
help others. On the other hand, you have
those driven primarily by personal gain.
This is where you find most self-help
grifters. A self-help grifter is someone
who promises transformation, purpose, or
success, but whose real skill lies in
manipulation. They rely on unethical
marketing tactics and misleading
communication, not to make a difference,
but to grow their influence and line
their pockets. It's hard to know
someone's true intentions, but we can
look at their actions. So rather than
attacking someone's character or style,
I want to focus on the core principles
that help people rise to the ranks of
self-help guru and more importantly how
those principles can be twisted in
deceptive ways to build fame and wealth.
The first and most foundational among
them building a strong parasocial bond
with your followers. This isn't a new
idea. Psychologists have been studying
this for decades. In his classic book,
Influence, Robert Chaldini calls it the
liking principle, and it's one of the
most powerful tools in persuasion. When
we like someone, we instinctively trust
them more. And that's exactly why so
many self-help gurus put so much effort
into being relatable, charming, or
funny. Because once you like them,
influencing you becomes much easier.
>> Wow, there's so much choice. How does
anyone decide what has to be?
>> But here's the catch. This is a one-way
relationship. In a parasocial
relationship, the audience member feels
like they personally know the creator
because of the intimacy of the content.
Eye contact with the camera, direct
address, personal stories,
behindthe-scene glimpses, but the
creator doesn't really know them at all.
Sure, they might read some comments or
shake a few hands at an event, but they
don't really know the millions of people
watching their videos.
>> Logically, we know that Taylor Swift has
50 million Twitter followers and that in
all likelihood, she is not talking
directly to us. We know that we don't
have real two-sided relationships and
yet sometimes it feels like we do.
>> Take one of the biggest self-help
podcasters in the world, Mel Robbins.
Journalist Scott Carney, who spent years
investigating the self-help industry,
has talked about how Robins uses
parasocial bonding to make viewers feel
an emotional closeness to her. Mel
Robbins has never met you. She has no
real relationship with you. And yet
there's a certain genius as to how she
makes her audience believe that she's
actually their friend.
>> It is always an honor to spend time with
you. I'm so glad that you're here with
me right now. I want to say it's always
such an honor to spend time and to be
together with you. Here's what I know
about you. I know you're the type of
person you value your time. You're the
kind of person who values information
that can help you take control of your
health. I know you're the kind of person
who values showing up for yourself. It
is the perfect thing for you to listen
to at this exact moment in time and you
will feel better. I mean, just imagine
that future. I can see that for you. And
in case no one else tells you today, I
wanted to tell you I love you that I
love you. I love you. I love you for
listening to this and I believe in you
and I believe in you and I'm proud of
you for hitting play on this episode.
What you're hearing today is meant just
for you. Whether you love Mel Robbins or
not, it's worth thinking about this type
of communication closely. If you've
never spoken directly to camera before
like this, you might not realize how
strange it actually is. As someone who
does this for a living, I can tell you
it is not natural. So, I know it's easy
to forget when you're watching a video,
but this is what I'm looking at when I'm
actually filming a video. There's no
humans here. So, let's see if I can
channel my inner Mel Robbins. If you're
watching this, I want you to know that I
love you. I love the person you are. I
love the person you're becoming. So,
make sure that you share this with your
friends so they too can feel that love.
And so we can grow our engagement
numbers, increase ad revenue, and maybe
even turn this into a book deal. I
wasn't feeling that one, guys. Let's
let's do that one more time. If you're
watching this, I want you to know that I
love you. I think there are two ways to
interpret this kind of communication.
The generous view is that people are
trying to help their viewers feel seen
and supported. It's their way of
spreading compassion and using language
to lift people up. The less generous
view is that it's a strategy. Much
similar to how AI uses flattery to win
you over. This type of messaging is a
way to build affection and loyalty. We
can't know people's true intentions. But
speaking as a creator myself, I find the
style of communication to be
disingenuous. While I'm sure I've
slipped into this kind of language at
times, it's something that I'm much more
mindful of and actively try to avoid.
While the communication itself might
feel genuine, it's really just a
performance into a camera in an empty
room. You know, I wasn't really feeling
that one. Let's do that one more time.
If you want to understand why some
people build massive followings, even
when their ideas are questionable, you
have to understand the power of
authority. Much like likability,
authority changes how we listen. It
shapes how much weight we give to
someone's words, how skeptical we are of
their claims, and how quickly we accept
what they say as truth. If someone looks
the part, sounds the part, or signals
expertise in just the right way, we're
far more likely to trust them, often
without even realizing it. It's the same
reason someone in a high viz vest with a
clipboard can stroll past security
without an ID. We're wired to look for
signals that help us make quick
decisions about who to trust. Titles,
credentials, uniforms, these all act as
shortcuts that save us time and mental
effort. And while some people are
genuine authorities in their fields,
others stretch or exaggerate their
qualifications to appear more credible
than they really are. Take Dr. Joe
Despensza. He talks extensively about
neuroscience and quantum physics. So you
might assume that his doctor title is in
one of those fields. It's not. His
doctorate is in chiropractic care. Sure,
you can technically put doctor in front
of your name, but that's not the same
thing as holding a PhD or an MD. It's
possible that Dispensza's title just
carried over from his previous training
as a chiropractor, but you can't deny
that it helps him look more legitimate
when he's technically as qualified to
talk about quantum physics as your
dentist. Another big name in the
self-help world is Mr. Green Eyes.
Sorry, that's Dr. Green Eyes. J Shetty
Shetty first exploded on Facebook where
he has over 30 million followers. He's
since built massive audiences on
Instagram and Tik Tok as well. And if
you've watched his content, you know the
vibe. earnest, dramatic, very serious.
>> Forgive yourself for letting someone
make you feel like you were easy to let
go. Forgive yourself for making them
number one when you were just a second
thought. Forgive yourself for helping
them heal when all they did was hurt
you.
>> Forgive me. No, don't do it, Matt. Don't
do it. I promised myself that I wouldn't
make any personal attacks, and I I'm not
going to do it. Jay, he's not my cup of
tea. But putting aside personal
preferences, he has been criticized for
very legitimate reasons, including
rampant plagiarism early in his career.
>> It's not like he reposted somebody
else's meme. He crops their name out and
puts in J Shetty. That's stealing.
>> See, the challenge is that we're meant
to love people and use things, but today
we use people and love things. We spend
more times holding our phones than we
hold each other. When you're young, you
say, "I love you because I need you."
when you grow up, you realize I need you
because I love you.
>> But it wasn't just the plagiarism that
raised concerns. His entire backstory,
the foundation of his authority itself
in the self-help space, has also been
called into question. One of the biggest
pillars of Shett's brand is his origin
story. A story he's told many times in
podcast, books, and interviews. He
describes being a business student
destined for corporate life until one
transformative lecture from a monk
changed everything. It was the most
captivating presentation I've ever been
to. And he spoke about selflessness and
service and kindness and it just got me
hooked.
>> He left behind the material world, moved
to India and returned with timeless
wisdom. It's a compelling narrative. We
have warm, fuzzy, almost romantic
associations with monks, humility,
wisdom, and discipline. We love this
idea of someone abandoning a comfortable
western life for spiritual
enlightenment. But according to an
investigation by John McDerman of the
Guardian, there are several
inconsistencies with his timeline.
>> Jay never misses an opportunity to
remind people that he was a monk for 3
years. And typically when he describes
this, he says, "I was a monk in India
and I traveled around a little bit
across Europe."
>> Decided to turn down my corporate job
offers and go and live as a monk in
India for 3 years. So I looked into it
and I found ample evidence that he was
actually stationed in Watford, which is
a city just outside of London for the
vast majority of the time that he was a
monk, and that he had been in India for
just a few months.
>> Some people might think it's perfectly
acceptable for someone to embellish
their story, to remove facts, or to
smooth out timelines for the sake of a
tight 5-minute television appearance.
But there's clear benefits that gurus
get when they bend their experience to
create this kind of authority. As we
climb further up the self-help ladder,
we reach one of the most powerful forces
in the guru playbook, the halo effect.
Many gurus start out in one specific
niche, psychology, fitness, business,
nutrition. This may or may not be an
area where they have real experience,
expertise, or qualifications. But as
their audience grows, that niche can
start to feel limiting. So they broaden
their scope. They do this with the halo
effect. The halo effect is a well
doumented cognitive bias where you
actually you know what let me hand this
one over to Jay. We ascribe certain
qualities to someone based on something
we like about them. So if we find
someone attractive we say they must be
trustworthy. If we think someone's good
at talking or we enjoy the way they
speak we're like they must be organized.
If someone has a good job or dresses
well we say oh they must be driven and
focused. So, we start giving them
qualities that they haven't actually
showed us they have, and we set
ourselves up for failure because we're
hoping for them to have more than
they've actually told us they have or
shown us they have.
>> Yeah, it's so fascinating.
>> It's why Dr. Mike Israel can move from
fitness advice to political commentary,
or how Jordan Peterson can start out as
a psychology professor at the University
of Toronto, then expand into areas like
climate science, culture wars, and
political identity. To be clear, I don't
think you have to hold a degree to speak
on a topic. That would be ridiculous.
But we should be wary of how easily
confidence can distort how we interpret
a message. Popular family physician and
content creator Dr. Mike, a different
Dr. Mike than I previously mentioned
calls this the epidemic of the I know it
all expert and he argues that our
collective discomfort with uncertainty
is exactly what allows bad actors to
thrive. There are too many of these
experts out there claiming to have all
of the answers when the rest of the
scientific community has questions.
Now, this may surprise you, but you and
I are both partially,
if not more so, to blame for this
epidemic. When someone says to us they
don't know, we're quick to judge. We're
quick to dismiss. The irony, as Dr. Mike
points out, is that the real experts,
the people worth listening to, are
usually the ones most aware of how much
they don't know. They're cautious.
They're humble. and they understand that
science and self-improvement are built
on questions, not on having all the
answers. This video is sponsored by
Squarespace. Now, listen, if you really
want to become a legit self-help guru,
you're going to need a legit website.
So, let's build one. Step one, head over
to Squarespace to grab the perfect
domain like the minimalist messiah.com.
Step two, use Squarespace's blueprint AI
website builder to design a slick
looking website in minutes. Step three,
come up with an inspiring slogan,
something like awaken your inner mat.
And of course, don't forget the
essentials. An about page telling the
story of how you found yourself at a
luxury resort in Thailand. Connect with
your audience through heartfelt blog
posts about how much you love them. And
finally, launch the Mattlightenment
Accelerator program available for the
deeply discounted price of $4,999.99.
Or, you know, you could skip all that
and just use Squarespace how I actually
use it to host links to my work, collect
email signups for my newsletter, and run
my business in a way that doesn't take
advantage of people. Whether you're a
YouTuber, freelancer, or full-time
professional, you can get started with a
free trial at squarespace.com.
And then when you're ready to launch, go
to squarespace.com/matti
and you'll get 10% off your first
purchase of a website or domain. Thanks
to Squarespace for supporting my work
and sponsoring this video. The next
level up in the self-help guru playbook
is reciprocity. Reciprocity is a basic
human instinct. It runs so deep in us
that we often don't notice how much it
shapes who we trust and how we behave.
Sometimes it's genuine and
unintentional. Other times it's a
deliberate strategy designed to win you
over. Psychologist Robert Charaldini has
written about how the Hari Krishna
devotees canvased in public areas. At
first, people rarely donated to them.
Many distrusted them or disliked their
presence. To change that, the group
adopted a new strategy. They gave out
small gifts first, often a flower or a
small book. We'd like you to have this
flower from the Religious Consciousness
Church. Would you care to make a
donation?
>> No, but thank you anyway.
>> When the person tried to refuse or give
it back, the Christian member would
insist, "No, this is a gift. It's yours
to keep." Only after that would they ask
for a donation. Because of this human
impulse towards reciprocity, the feeling
that one must return kindness, many
people felt obliged to donate, even when
they didn't really want to. Self-help
gurus, content creators, and influencers
use this principle in several ways. They
constantly remind you that they give
away 99% of their content for free,
framing it as a gift rather than a
source of ad revenue or brand building.
It's a simple way you can support me and
the team. It's a way you can support us
in bringing you worldclass experts every
single day for free.
>> They offer free resources or guides in
exchange for your email, which they
later use to sell you a course. In this
100% free training, I'm going to walk
you through the entire process. They
host free webinars that end in a limited
time upsell.
>> Webinars are one of the most valuable
things you can do to build your audience
and to monetize that audience. We made
$1.4 million in 92 minutes. And then we
made another 5.2 $2 million two weeks
later because of the product we offer. I
mean, the politicians can't even steal
that much money.
>> None of these strategies are inherently
unethical. Lead magnets, the free
resources you get in exchange for an
email, are everywhere. I even use them
myself, and so do many of the creators I
genuinely respect. What matters is
understanding that very little online is
truly free. When you hand over your
email, you're likely signing up for a
future sales pitch. That's not
necessarily bad. That's marketing. The
problem is when these tactics are pushed
too far, funneling people into high
pressure or predatory sales
environments. I'll talk about that a
little bit more in the next section.
Beyond these sales tactics, there's a
deeper, often unspoken version of
reciprocity at play. You scratch my
back, I'll scratch yours.
>> You and I have been friends for a long
time,
>> and we are extremely supportive and fond
of one another. Our spouses know each
other.
>> There's an unspoken rule in the
self-help world. Don't call out other
gurus. Don't ask hard questions. Don't
rock the boat. Mark Manson, author of
The Subtle Art of Not Giving [ __ ]
learned this lesson firsthand. After
building one of the most popular
self-help podcasts in the world with
over 30 million downloads, he eventually
decided to quit the interview format
altogether. Here's his explanation. I've
been in this industry for almost 20
years now. Probably the reason that most
of you even give a [ __ ] that I'm talking
right now is I try to be
independent-minded. I try to say things
that maybe need to be said and nobody
else is really saying in the classic
podcast format of bringing on kind of
star intellectual guests and thought
leaders. I felt completely hamstrung to
be able to do that. It really sucks to
have a notable guest come on the show
and start saying something that I
actually kind of don't agree with or I'm
like familiar with the research they're
talking about, but I don't think the
research is very good. And it puts me in
a really tough spot of like, okay, do I
start challenging this guest and
potentially creating like a big argument
or a debate on the show, potentially
alienating the guests, fans of the
guest, alienating the guests themselves,
making sure that they're never going to
come back to the show. Do I put myself
in a position where I'm like suddenly
like I I didn't prep for a debate coming
into this episode, but now like suddenly
I'm having to put myself in a headsp
space of of being willing to argue and
debate a really smart person. It was
just not fun for me. It felt like a
no-win situation.
>> Reciprocity is a powerful, often
invisible force. It shapes how we view
others. It often prevents us from
challenging people. And it's probably
the reason why it took me so long to
make this video. We've ascended to the
highest levels of the self-help guru
racket. There's just one more level.
It's time to cash in. You can't talk
about self-help grifting without talking
about money. Because while the fame and
attention might feel nice, this isn't a
charity. When it comes to turning a
profit in the self-help world, it
usually starts with sponsorships. I've
come to see sponsorships as a sort of
necessary annoyance in modern content
creation. As someone who started out
with an ad-free model, I didn't do a
single sponsorship until I had nearly
100 million views on YouTube. And I can
tell you from experience that the
fanfunded approach isn't a very
effective way to monetize your creative
work. Others, like Tim Ferrris, have
discovered similar results. People just
don't want to donate to every creator
they follow, and they're perfectly happy
to sit through ads in return for
content. So, my argument isn't that
sponsorships are bad, which might be
obvious since I included one in this
video. My argument is that creators have
to be very careful about the brands they
choose to endorse, especially when
they're trusted voices in areas like
finance, health, and wellness. But for
many, it's easy to turn a blind eye when
the price gets high enough. One of the
most ubiquitous sponsors on YouTube and
in podcasting is AG1 by Athletic Greens.
You've probably seen it promoted by
science communicators, longevity
experts, and podcast hosts alike.
>> AG1 by Athletic Greens brings 75
vitamins, minerals, whole food sourced
ingredients, probiotics, and adaptogens
together in one place. It might just be
the most comprehensive and convenient
nutritional regimen on the planet. There
are enough videos on YouTube talking
about the problems with AG1, so I'm not
going to get stuck in the weeds here,
but I'll quickly summarize a few of the
key issues people have with it. AG1's
proprietary blend hides weak ingredient
dosages.
>> The first five ingredients make up 10 g
of the 12 g serving, leaving a maximum
of 2 g for everything else.
>> The bold health claims aren't supported
by strong evidence. Calling, for
example, Athletic Greens a high quality
greens powder is a little misleading. I
think it's more of a multivitamin. In
fact, I'm not impressed with AG1 being
anything more than a multivitamin. It's
a poor substitute for real nutrition.
>> This is no way going to be superior to
consuming fruits and vegetables.
>> And it's overpriced, meaning you're
basically just paying for their
marketing expenses.
>> This was $99. Probably 50 of that went
to different people to put it on their
podcast and say how amazing it is. I
even found a Forbes article. It even
says at the top up here, sponsored
article. You scroll down, buy it now.
They're getting commission. Everyone's
getting kicked back. Everyone that's
talking about this product is getting
paid to talk about it.
>> My biggest problem with experts
promoting this product and products like
it is that their credibility gives it a
level of legitimacy it hasn't earned.
When someone who claims to be an expert
in nutrition or fitness says that they
take AG1 every morning, most listeners
assume that they're making the claim
from authority, not because they got
paid to say it. I think most people
watching this would find it hard to turn
down the kind of money AG1 pays out. Dr.
Andrea Love cited an anonymous source
claiming that Andrew Huberman makes an
estimated $40 million from AG1 alone.
>> Simply put, I always feel better when I
take AG1.
>> So, yeah, hard money to turn down, but
it's worth remembering that the people
that are making that kind of money are
already making millions and millions of
dollars anyway. So, you have to ask
yourself, is it really worth it to risk
your reputation? Now, for many gurus,
sponsorships are just the warm-up. The
real money isn't in selling ads, but in
selling their own digital products.
Courses, masterminds, mentorship
programs, and high ticket retreats are
where the industry truly cashes in.
>> It's never just I'm a guru. It's always
now I have something to sell you. And
while there's nothing inherently wrong
with selling education or creating paid
products, this is often where things
start to blur. where genuine teaching
crosses over into exploitation.
>> Look at these guys. Look at these guys.
These guys are spending three days with
me. These guys pay $12,000 each to sit
in that chair. 3 days. I got to look at
their ugly faces.
>> But wait, Matt, didn't you sell a
self-help course, you hypocrite? Yes, in
fact, I did. A few years ago, I launched
my very own self-help course called
Simple Habits. Before we begin, I'd like
to give you some background about myself
and how I came to teach a course on
habit change. I'm not a trained
scientist and I don't have a PhD in my
title, but I am a little bit obsessed
with change. At the time, it felt like a
natural step. I was making videos about
self-improvement, so why not create a
full course to help people build better
habits from scratch. I priced it at $145
and adjusted the cost based on
purchasing power. So, for example,
Zimbabwe paid just $36 for the course.
The course was live for a couple years.
I invested heavily in updates. And I
even hired this awesome guy, Pete, who's
a behavioral scientist, to audit it and
make sure everything was backed by the
latest science. But eventually, I
decided to shut it down and offer it for
free for anyone who asked. I think I did
my best to sell this course with honesty
and integrity. I was transparent about
my background, careful not to
overpromise, and I kept the price
accessible. But even with that, I never
loved the feeling of selling a self-help
course. to market something like this,
it's almost impossible not to lean into
the expert role, to position yourself as
the person with all the answers. And
that just made me feel very
uncomfortable because that's something I
never really liked doing on this
channel. That's why I always leaned into
habit experiments and teaching uh from
kind of my own failures and mistakes and
and the things that I've personally
learned, not speaking objectively about
every topic I talked about. I think that
the more that you lean into that guru
mode, that expert mode, the more it
becomes tempting to tap into people's
insecurities and fears. Other people
don't really have a problem with it,
though.
>> At the heart of every coaching journey
is a dream for change,
>> a search for meaning, a search for
purpose, a search for who we will
become. But without the right guidance,
>> these goals can feel out of reach,
>> leaving us feeling lost,
>> stuck, struggling to find a clear path
forward,
>> yearning for something more. True
transformation
>> personally, professionally, globally
never happens alone.
>> And it all starts
>> with $7,000. J. Shetty certification
school to help you become a life coach
costs $7,000, which honestly feels a
little bit steep for somebody who's a
monk who built his brand on the idea of
serving others. But the price tag wasn't
the only thing that raised eyebrows. The
program supposed credentials turned out
to be just as questionable. The Jshedy
certification school claimed that it was
affiliated with four different
universities in the UK and essentially
said that by completing the J Shetty
certification school, it would put you
on track to receive a master's degree at
these universities. By becoming a J
Shetty certified coach, you will gain
coaching and business skills, accredited
certification, pathway to the individual
coach accreditation, marketing support
from my platform and a supportive
network of coaches and students.
>> I contacted all the universities very
clear, you know, very straightforwardly
asked them, what is your affiliation
with this program? What is the nature of
the relationship? Can you explain to me?
All of them said, we have no idea what
the J Shetty certification school is. We
have no idea why we are listed on their
marketing materials and we want our
names taken off.
>> Here's where everything comes full
circle because one of the most powerful
tools gurus use to sell their courses is
the parasocial bond they've already
established. Their teams are trained to
leverage that emotional connection to
get you across the finish line and hit
purchase.
>> You need to get this in the call. Hey,
I'm calling because Mr. Cardone wants me
to give you something.
>> Okay.
>> Okay. What What's he want What's he want
to give me? He wants to give you a pro.
He's created a sales tool that can
increase sales 15 to 40%.
>> Private DMs from J Shett's team to an
interested student show how this works.
His sales reps messaged potential
students directly from his account,
personalizing their pitches and
repeatedly named dropping Jay to
reinforce that connection. Let me let me
let me read some of these. Today, Jay is
looking for a few more students to work
with us. Is it okay if I ask you a
couple questions from Jay to help us
work out if you're a good fit for Jay's
case study? Jay can't wait to help you
with that over the next 49 days,
especially with Jay and our team keeping
you accountable on our live calls. He
filmed a short six-inute video for you
with all the details. Wow, that's
amazing that he took the time to record
a 6-minute video just for this person. I
love the surprise he has for you at the
end. Hey again, Jay wanted to know if
there was something he did a bad job of
breaking down. Oh my god. So, this is
this is crazy. Okay, a good number of
Jay students are joining because of CO
19. In their opinion, they have no idea
how long this crisis will last. So they
believe that an extra source of online
income is the safest bet for the safety
of them and their families. That's
[ __ ] crazy. They're using the
pandemic and the fear of the pandemic to
try to get people to to purchase the
course. Jay doesn't charge $100,000 like
college is because he's on a mission to
help people find their passion and turn
it into real income. Oh my god, Jay,
that's amazing. That's so generous that
you don't charge $100,000 for your
online course. That'sing crazy. If you
don't want to join Jay and our family,
that's totally okay. It's a family. Now,
this actually sounds like a cult. Here's
the thing that like is really upsetting
about this, right? Like you see these
kind of pushy persuasive sta sales
strategies. Um, using parasocial
bonding, uh, using that connection that
they have with this influential figure,
using fear to try to get somebody over
the edge. This person clarifies in the
DMs that they're making $20,000 a year.
like you're still pushing hard on
selling this person a $7,000 course when
they're making $20,000 US a year. I
would actively encourage this person not
to buy the product. If you don't have
the money, please don't buy this course.
Please don't. Come on. Can we just be
better? Can weing?
So, one question you might be having at
this point, especially if, like me, you
enjoy self-help content or even follow
some of the people that I talked about
in this video, is this. Even if their
tactics are questionable, isn't there
still a net good? It's a fair question.
Many of the most popular self-help
figures have millions of followers,
glowing testimonials, best-selling
books, and countless stories from people
whose lives have been improved. That's
real, and I don't want to dismiss the
positive impact some of their work has
had. But both things can be true at the
same time. They have helped people, and
they're also engaging in practices that
are manipulative or misleading. Because
many of these people are smart, in some
cases, brilliant. It's hard to accept
the idea that they just didn't know any
better. They know exactly what they're
doing. And at a certain point, the
motivation stops being about impact and
starts being about greed. More money,
more fame, more power. Because for many
of these figures, enough never seems to
be enough. And ego and influence often
go hand in hand. So yes, you can
appreciate the good things and the good
advice that these people have offered
up. And you can also hold them
accountable.

Key Vocabulary

Start Practicing
Vocabulary Meanings

guru

/ˈɡʊruː/

B1
  • noun
  • - a spiritual teacher or guide, often in the context of self-help or personal development

manipulation

/ˌmænɪpjuˈleɪʃən/

B2
  • noun
  • - the act of controlling or influencing someone or something in a clever or skillful way, often unfairly

parasocial

/ˌpærəˈsoʊʃəl/

C1
  • adjective
  • - relating to a one-sided relationship between a media figure and their audience

reciprocity

/ˌrɛsɪˈprɒsɪti/

B2
  • noun
  • - the practice of exchanging things with others for mutual benefit, often as a social or psychological principle

authority

/əˈθɒrɪti/

B1
  • noun
  • - the power or right to give orders, make decisions, and enforce obedience

grifter

/ˈɡrɪftər/

C1
  • noun
  • - a person who engages in petty or small-scale swindling or fraud

transformation

/ˌtrænsfərˈmeɪʃən/

B2
  • noun
  • - a complete change in form, appearance, or character

influence

/ˈɪnfluəns/

B1
  • noun
  • - the capacity to have an effect on the character, development, or behavior of someone or something

credibility

/ˌkrɛdɪˈbɪlɪti/

B2
  • noun
  • - the quality of being trusted and believed in

exploit

/ɪkˈsplɔɪt/

B2
  • verb
  • - to use something or someone unfairly for one's own advantage
  • noun
  • - a notable or memorable act or achievement

deceptive

/dɪˈsɛptɪv/

B2
  • adjective
  • - tending to deceive or mislead

accountability

/əˌkaʊntəˈbɪlɪti/

C1
  • noun
  • - the state of being responsible for one's actions and their consequences

Do you remember what “guru” or “manipulation” means in ""?

Hop into the app to practice now – quizzes, flashcards, and native-like pronunciation are waiting!

Key Grammar Structures

  • When we like someone, we instinctively trust them more.

    ➔ Zero conditional

    ➔ The word **"When"** introduces a present‑simple clause that expresses a general truth, followed by another present‑simple clause.

  • If you want to understand why some people build massive followings, you have to understand the power of authority.

    ➔ First conditional (real possibility)

    ➔ The clause **"If you want to understand…"** uses present simple after **"if"**, and the result clause **"you have to understand…"** also uses present simple, showing a realistic future condition.

  • I’ve seen real improvements because of it.

    ➔ Present perfect

    ➔ The auxiliary **"have"** + past participle **"seen"** forms the present perfect, linking a past experience to the present moment.

  • I’m not feeling that one, guys.

    ➔ Present progressive used for temporary feeling

    ➔ The verb **"am not feeling"** is in the present progressive, showing that the speaker’s feeling is temporary and happening right now.

  • There’s a clear benefit when gurus bend their experience to create this kind of authority.

    ➔ There‑be construction + noun phrase

    ➔ The phrase **"There’s"** contracts **"There is"**, introducing the existence of **"a clear benefit"**.

  • I could have sold a million courses if I’d known the algorithm better.

    ➔ Third conditional (past unreal condition)

    ➔ The past perfect **"had known"** after **"if"** shows an unreal past condition, and **"could have sold"** expresses the unreal result.

  • You should be careful about the brands you choose to endorse.

    ➔ Modal verb for advice (should) + infinitive

    ➔ The modal **"should"** signals recommendation, followed by the base verb **"be"** and the infinitive phrase **"careful about…"**.

  • Because once you like them, influencing you becomes much easier.

    ➔ Causal clause with "because" + inversion of time clause "once"

    ➔ The conjunction **"because"** introduces a reason, and **"once"** functions as a temporal marker meaning "as soon as".

Related Songs