Display Bilingual:

[Music] 00:00
00:00
Oh my god. What does that thing do? 00:00
00:05
>> Uh, that's an eye removal machine. 00:05
00:06
>> All right, I'm out. I'm kidding. I'm 00:06
00:08
kidding. Uhoh. 00:08
00:09
>> Hi, Rachel. 00:09
00:10
>> I'm Dr. Miller. Monica told me you were 00:10
00:12
a little nervous, but don't worry. 00:12
00:13
Everything's going to be just fine. 00:13
00:15
>> So, we're done then. 00:15
00:16
>> Almost. But first, we got to start. 00:16
00:18
>> Okay. 00:18
00:18
>> This is the glaucoma test. 00:18
00:19
>> Uh-huh. 00:20
00:20
>> Sit down. 00:20
00:22
>> Okay. 00:22
00:23
>> Put your chin here. 00:23
00:24
>> Mhm. 00:24
00:25
>> Now, you're going to feel a small puff 00:25
00:27
of air in each eye. 00:27
00:29
>> What? What? 00:29
00:31
>> A small puff of air. Now, come on. 00:31
00:35
>> Here we go. 00:35
00:36
>> All right. 00:36
00:38
>> One, two, three. 00:38
00:40
>> Okay. 00:40
00:42
I'm sorry. All right. I'm going to stay 00:42
00:45
in here this time. Okay. 00:45
00:47
>> Ready? 00:47
00:47
>> Uh-huh. 00:47
00:48
>> One, two. 00:48
00:50
>> I'm sorry. You know what? I'm gonna hold 00:50
00:52
her head. Okay. 00:52
00:54
>> That's okay. 00:54
00:55
>> Okay. Okay. Okay. 00:55
00:58
One. 00:58
00:58
>> Uhhuh. 00:58
00:59
>> Two. 00:59
01:00
>> I'm sorry. 01:00
01:02
>> You know what? You're young. You 01:02
01:03
probably don't have glaucoma. 01:03
01:07
>> Okay. 01:07
01:08
>> Okay. So, it was very, very nice to meet 01:08
01:10
you, sir. And ow. Hey, what are you? Are 01:10
01:13
you crazy? 01:13
01:14
>> Okay. You got a small minor infection in 01:14
01:17
that left eye. I want you to take these 01:17
01:19
drops three times a day for a week, and 01:19
01:21
you'll be as good as new. 01:21
01:22
>> Yeah. No, I I don't I don't put things 01:22
01:23
in my eye. 01:23
01:25
>> Okay, then. I guess we'll see you back 01:25
01:26
here in three months. 01:26
01:28
>> Great. 01:28
01:28
>> And I'll fit you for a glass eye. 01:28
01:29
>> Okay, just give me the damn drops. 01:29
01:33
>> Dr. Miller. 01:33
01:36
>> P E C F D. 01:36
01:39
>> Very good, Monica. 01:39
01:43
>> You know where they are. 01:43
01:44
>> I sure do. 01:44
01:49
>> And you don't get one. 01:49
01:54
>> Okay. 01:54
01:59
Not even close. Okay. Well, then you 01:59
02:01
know what? Help me. I need help. I can 02:01
02:03
do this. 02:03
02:03
>> All right. Come on. Let's do it. 02:03
02:05
>> Come on. All right. 02:05
02:05
>> Sit down. 02:05
02:06
>> All right. 02:06
02:06
>> All right. Put your head back. 02:06
02:08
>> Yes. 02:08
02:08
>> All right. 02:08
02:09
>> Okay. Now, open your eyes. 02:09
02:11
>> Okay. They are. 02:11
02:15
>> How many fingers am I holding up? 02:15
02:17
>> Four. 02:17
02:18
>> Oh my god. I was thinking four. 02:18
02:19
>> Really? 02:19
02:20
>> Yes. 02:20
02:21
>> All right. You know what? Why don't we 02:21
02:23
start with a practice one? Okay. Okay. 02:23
02:24
Okay. 02:24
02:25
>> No drops. 02:25
02:25
>> Great. 02:25
02:26
>> Okay. 02:26
02:27
>> Okay. 02:27
02:27
>> All right. On three. One, 02:27
02:30
>> two, three. 02:30
02:33
>> My pillow's all wet. 02:33
02:34
>> Well, well, you said it was practice. 02:34
02:37
>> Then why did you move? 02:37
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>> Because I knew you were lying. 02:38
02:41
>> All right. Come here. What are you 02:41
02:42
doing? Monica, stop it. 02:42
02:45
>> Oh my gosh. Stop it. 02:45
02:46
>> I am going. I'm going to turn it over. 02:46
02:50
I'm going to get 02:50
02:54
these arms in your eyes. 02:54
02:55
>> Oh my god, you really are freakishly 02:55
02:57
strong. 02:57
03:03
[Music] 03:03
03:05
>> Damn, it's empty. 03:05
03:07
>> Well, you know, if Joey and Chandler 03:07
03:09
walked in right now, we could make a 03:09
03:10
fortune. 03:10
03:13
>> Can you pass me a TV guide? 03:13
03:15
>> Yeah. 03:15
03:16
>> Go. What? 03:16
03:20
Oh my god. Hold it open. 03:20
03:21
>> Okay. 03:21
03:29
>> We'll see you in about 3 or 4 hours. 03:29
03:34
>> Give me back my sweater or it's handbag 03:34
03:36
marinara. 03:36
03:41
>> You don't have the guts. Oh yeah? Well, 03:41
03:44
at least I wasn't too chicken to tell 03:44
03:45
some guy I thought he was cute. 03:45
03:56
Oh. All right. Stop. Stop the madness. 03:56
04:03
>> This is crazy. Who can even remember why 04:03
04:06
you started fighting in the first place? 04:06
04:08
>> She knew that I joined him. She would 04:08
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have to fight first. 04:10
04:13
>> Yes, that's right. 04:13
04:17
But still, I look at your purse. 04:17
04:21
Look at your sweater. 04:21
04:24
Look at yourselves. 04:24
04:29
I'll help you fix your sweater. 04:29
04:32
I'll help you throw out your purse. 04:32
04:37
>> I'm sorry that I made you stop seeing 04:37
04:39
him. 04:39
04:41
>> Well, I'm sorry I went out with him when 04:41
04:43
I knew you liked him. 04:43
04:46
I'm sorry that I borrowed your gloves. 04:46
04:52
>> I'm quitting. I just helped an 04:52
04:54
81year-old woman put on a thong and she 04:54
04:56
didn't even buy it. 04:56
04:59
I'm telling you, I'm quitting. That's 04:59
05:00
it. I'm talking to my boss right now. 05:00
05:02
Yes, I am. Yes, I am. Yes, I am. Yes, I 05:02
05:04
am. Yes, I am. Yes, I am. Okay, bye. 05:04
05:05
Call me when you get this message. 05:06
05:08
>> Oh, Mr. Waltham, I uh really need to 05:08
05:11
talk to you 05:11
05:12
>> in a moment, please. I'm in the middle 05:12
05:13
of a task. And you have a customer. 05:13
05:19
>> Hi. 05:20
05:20
>> Hi. I'm Joshua. 05:20
05:22
>> Hi. I'm Rachel Green. What can I do for 05:22
05:24
you, Joshua? 05:24
05:26
>> Well, uh, I need a whole new wardrobe. 05:26
05:28
My wife, well, my exwife. 05:28
05:30
>> Oh, I'm so sorry. 05:30
05:37
>> Anyway, she burned all of my clothes. 05:37
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So, I got away with two things. this 05:39
05:41
suit and what turned out to be a uh 05:41
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skirt. 05:44
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>> Well, at least that's a great suit. 05:45
05:47
>> Yeah, but it wasn't much fun dropping it 05:47
05:49
off at the dry cleaners in the skirt. 05:49
05:53
>> So, I need everything down to underwear. 05:54
05:55
So, if you're willing, I'm uh I'm all 05:55
05:57
yours. 05:57
05:59
>> Okay, 06:00
06:01
Rachel, you needed to speak to me. 06:01
06:03
>> No, no, that wasn't me. 06:03
06:07
>> Well, we should get started. Let me show 06:07
06:09
you my underwear. 06:09
06:13
>> The selection of underwear that we 06:13
06:15
carry. 06:15
06:19
>> Oh, I'm sorry. It's this way. It's this 06:19
06:21
way. 06:21
06:21
>> It's this way. Yeah. Sorry. 06:21
06:26
[Music] 06:26
06:29
>> Would you like to go to a basketball 06:29
06:31
game with No. 06:31
06:33
>> You know, it's funny basketball because 06:33
06:34
I happen to have tickets to 06:34
06:37
Okay. Um, 06:37
06:41
who likes the Nick? 06:41
06:46
>> What do you think? 06:46
06:49
>> Well, as a single woman who is 06:49
06:52
available, 06:52
06:54
I think you look great. 06:54
06:56
>> Huh? Huh? 06:56
06:58
>> Yep. Oh, yeah. You look great. 06:58
07:06
Oh, yeah. Yeah. This looks great. 07:06
07:10
>> Um, so you like it? 07:10
07:12
>> I do. I do. I love it. In fact, I I 07:12
07:14
think I'm going to wear it home. 07:14
07:15
>> Great. 07:15
07:16
>> All right. Well, thank you so much for 07:16
07:18
all your help. 07:18
07:19
>> Sure. 07:19
07:20
>> Well, I guess uh I guess this is it. See 07:20
07:22
you. 07:22
07:23
>> Thanks. Maybe I'll see you in the 07:24
07:26
spring, you know, with the uh for the 07:26
07:27
bathing suits. 07:27
07:28
>> Well, well, you don't want to do that 07:28
07:29
now. 07:29
07:31
>> That's okay. I 07:31
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>> Anyway, hopefully I I'll see you around 07:33
07:34
sometime. 07:34
07:35
>> Basketball. 07:35
07:39
Sorry. 07:39
07:40
>> I uh I have two tickets to the Knicks 07:40
07:43
game tonight if you're interested just 07:43
07:45
as a thank you for this week. 07:45
07:48
>> Wow, that would be great. 07:48
07:51
>> Really? 07:51
07:52
>> Yeah, that would be fantastic. My my 07:52
07:54
nephew is crazy about the Knicks. 07:54
07:58
>> This is fantastic. Thank you so much, 07:58
08:01
Rachel. 08:01
08:02
>> Good morning. Hi. 08:02
08:09
>> Okay. For next time, what do you say? 08:09
08:12
>> I have an extra ticket. An extra ticket. 08:12
08:15
Not two tickets. I have an extra ticket. 08:15
08:19
>> So, the first time you asked a guy out, 08:19
08:21
he he turns you down. 08:22
08:25
>> He didn't turn me down. He's at the 08:25
08:27
game, isn't he? I got the date. I'm just 08:27
08:29
not on it. 08:29
08:32
No, you hang up. You you you 08:32
08:45
>> Sorry, I thought you were talking to me. 08:45
08:49
>> Rachel, 08:49
08:51
>> I'll just call her back. 08:51
08:52
>> Okay. 08:52
08:55
>> I'm sorry. We got disconnected. 08:55
08:58
>> Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. How did this 08:58
09:00
happen to me? How did this happen to me? 09:00
09:01
A week ago, two weeks ago, I was fine. 09:01
09:04
Ross was just Ross. Just this guy. Now 09:04
09:07
all of a sudden, he's Ross. 09:07
09:11
Oh, this really great guy that I can't 09:11
09:14
have. 09:14
09:16
>> Sweetie, I wanted you to have him, too. 09:16
09:18
>> I know you did, 09:18
09:21
just going to deal with it. Just going 09:21
09:22
to deal with it. 09:22
09:27
>> Come on out, honey. I'm telling you, you 09:27
09:29
look good. Tell her she looks good. Tell 09:29
09:31
her she looks good. 09:31
09:34
[Applause] 09:34
09:38
>> Oh my god, 09:38
09:42
you look so good. 09:42
09:45
I cannot believe I have to walk down the 09:46
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aisle in front of 200 people looking 09:48
09:50
like something you drink when you're 09:50
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nauseous. 09:52
09:54
>> So don't I don't see why we have to go 09:54
09:56
to this thing anyway. It's your your ex 09:56
09:58
feel and say's wedding 09:58
09:59
>> because I promised Mindy I would. 09:59
10:02
>> Yeah, well, you promised Barry you'd 10:02
10:03
marry him. 10:04
10:06
>> Look, you guys, I have to go. I'm the 10:06
10:08
maid of honor. And besides, you know 10:08
10:10
what? I just need to be in a room again 10:10
10:13
with these people and feel good about 10:13
10:14
myself. 10:14
10:18
[Laughter] 10:18
10:22
>> Look at the window. There's my name. Hi, 10:22
10:24
me. 10:24
10:27
I remember the day I got my first 10:27
10:29
paycheck. There was a cave-in in one of 10:29
10:31
the mines and eight people were killed. 10:31
10:35
>> Wow. You worked in a mine? 10:35
10:37
>> I worked in a Dairy Queen mine. 10:37
10:43
God, isn't this exciting? I earned this. 10:43
10:46
I wiped tables for it. I steamed milk 10:46
10:48
for it. And it was totally 10:48
10:51
not worth it. 10:51
10:53
Who's Fica? Why is he getting all my 10:53
10:55
money? 10:55
10:58
>> I mean, what Chandler? Look at that. 10:58
11:02
>> Oh, this is not that bad. 11:02
11:04
>> Oh, you're fine. Yeah. For first job, 11:04
11:07
you can totally totally live on this. 11:07
11:10
>> Oh, yeah. Yeah. 11:10
11:13
>> Hey, by the way, great service to 11:13
11:21
>> Whoops. Oh, I seem to have dropped my 11:21
11:24
fork. 11:24
11:25
Let me just bend over and get it. 11:26
11:29
[Laughter] 11:29
11:36
Oh god. 11:36
11:40
>> Okay, enough. This is This is not going 11:40
11:43
to happen. 11:43
11:44
>> Oh, come on, Ros. I'm miserable here. 11:44
11:47
Come on. You started this. Now you 11:47
11:48
finish it. 11:48
11:51
Come on, West. Make love to me. 11:51
11:56
>> You know what? 11:56
11:57
>> What? 11:57
11:59
>> Forget it. 11:59
12:02
>> Oh, wow. What? Now, Ross, you're not 12:02
12:04
going to talk? How on earth will you 12:04
12:07
ever annoy me? 12:07
12:09
Oh, wait a minute. I know. 12:10
12:16
I mean, you think the damn jalapeno 12:16
12:17
would have cleared up your sinuses, but 12:18
12:19
no, that's not enough. 12:19
12:22
>> What are you doing? 12:22
12:23
>> I'm getting that baby out of you. 12:23
12:27
[Applause] 12:27
12:33
>> Oh, God. 12:33
12:34
>> Oh, I know. 12:34
12:35
>> Oh, no. 12:35
12:38
>> I think my water just broke. 12:38
12:41
>> I am good. 12:41
12:45
Okay. Okay. Uh okay. I got I got the 12:45
12:48
pillow. Uh got the bag. You got the 12:48
12:50
keys? 12:50
12:50
>> I got the keys. 12:50
12:51
>> Okay. Okay. 12:51
12:55
>> Hey. Yeah. 12:55
12:57
>> We're having a baby. 12:57
13:13
I didn't uh really have time to read 13:13
13:15
this part of the books, but do you think 13:15
13:17
do you think we have time? 13:17
13:18
>> Not so much. 13:18
13:18
>> Okay. 13:18
13:27
>> I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 13:27
13:29
>> That is it. You just barge in here. You 13:29
13:32
don't knock. You have no respect for 13:32
13:33
anybody's privacy. 13:33
13:35
>> No. You wait. This is ridiculous. 13:35
13:37
>> Just say one thing. 13:37
13:38
>> What? What? That's a relatively open 13:38
13:40
weave and I can still see your 13:40
13:43
nipular areas. 13:43
13:45
>> I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I could 13:45
13:53
>> Chandler Bing, it's time to see your 13:53
13:56
thing. 13:56
14:09
What's the matter with you? 14:09
14:10
>> What was 14:10
14:12
>> you were supposed to be in there so I 14:12
14:15
could see your thing. 14:15
14:18
>> Sorry. My My thing was in there with me. 14:18
14:22
[Music] 14:22
14:27
>> Rachel, what are you doing? It's 14:27
14:28
freezing out here. Would you come back 14:28
14:30
inside? 14:30
14:31
>> No, no, no, no, no. You wanted me to 14:31
14:33
take him down, so I'm taking him down. 14:33
14:37
Okay, 14:37
14:42
>> Rachel, I'm okay. I'm okay. 14:42
14:46
Mr. Eckles. 14:46
14:48
Mr. Hickles, could you could you help 14:48
14:50
me, please? 14:50
14:52
>> See, this is just the kind of thing I 14:52
14:54
was talking about. 14:54
14:57
>> You You've been quiet all morning. Is 14:57
14:58
everything okay? 14:58
14:59
>> Mhm. 14:59
15:03
You sure you're all right? 15:03
15:04
>> Yep. 15:04
15:06
>> Okay. Um, well, I'm going to go uh grab 15:06
15:09
us some breakfast. 15:09
15:10
>> FYI, 15:10
15:12
>> there it is. 15:12
15:14
>> In the future, when a girl asks for some 15:14
15:17
ill-advised sympathy sex, just do it. 15:17
15:22
>> Wait, wait. You're uh you're mad at me 15:22
15:25
about last night? I was just trying to 15:25
15:27
do the right thing. 15:27
15:28
>> Really? Well, it seems to me if you had 15:28
15:30
done the right thing, I would not have 15:30
15:32
woken up today feeling stupid and 15:32
15:33
embarrassed. I would have woken up 15:33
15:35
feeling comforted and satisfied. 15:35
15:40
>> Well, 15:40
15:40
>> oh, stop that. 15:40
15:43
>> I can't believe this. What? I I was just 15:43
15:45
being a good guy. I treated you with 15:45
15:47
with respect and understanding. 15:47
15:49
>> Oh, that's so hot. 15:49
15:51
>> Hey, I was looking out for you. 15:52
15:53
>> Oh, really? Well, Ross, you know what? I 15:53
15:55
am a big girl. I don't need someone 15:55
15:57
telling me what is best for me. 15:57
15:59
>> I got to say, I've not had sex a lot of 15:59
16:02
times before. This is the worst ever. 16:02
16:05
>> Oh, really? Really? Well, it wasn't very 16:05
16:07
good for me either. 16:07
16:08
>> Oh, okay. You know, hey, hey, you know 16:08
16:10
what? You know what? To avoid this 16:10
16:11
little thing in the future, let's just 16:12
16:13
say you and me never having sex again. 16:13
16:15
>> What? 16:16
16:16
>> That's right. Sex is off the table. I am 16:16
16:19
never having sex with you again. 16:19
16:28
Dr. Green, are you feeling better? 16:28
16:32
>> Yeah, sure. 16:32
16:33
>> Okay. In about 10 seconds, you're going 16:33
16:35
to see him kiss me. 16:35
16:36
>> And in about 5 seconds, you're going to 16:36
16:38
see why. 16:38
16:44
>> Ross, did I ever tell you about the time 16:44
16:46
that I went backpacking through Western 16:46
16:48
Europe? 16:48
16:51
[Laughter] 16:51
16:56
Okay, get ready to see some begging. 16:56
17:00
>> Oh, you came on to Ross. 17:00
17:03
>> What? 17:04
17:04
>> Now I'm so happy. 17:04
17:08
>> What are you talking about? 17:08
17:09
>> You use the Europe story. 17:09
17:11
>> That's the magic story you use when you 17:11
17:13
want to have sex. 17:13
17:17
>> How do you know about that story? How do 17:17
17:20
you know about that story? 17:20
17:23
>> I heard it from my friend Irene who 17:23
17:24
heard it from some guy. 17:24
17:27
>> Some guy. 17:27
17:31
>> No, no. She told me that his name was 17:32
17:33
Ken Adams. 17:33
17:37
>> Ken Adams. 17:37
17:40
>> Oh, hi. Hi. Richard just told me he 17:40
17:44
loved me. 17:44
17:45
>> Oh my god. I know, 17:45
17:46
>> honey. That's great. 17:46
17:47
>> I know. I just can't find. 17:48
17:49
>> Oh, they're in the top drawer. 17:50
17:51
>> Hurry. 17:51
17:52
>> You need one, too? 17:52
17:53
>> Oh, yeah. 17:53
18:02
>> There's only one. 18:02
18:03
>> Monica. 18:03
18:05
>> Hi. Uh, we'll be right there. We just um 18:05
18:08
we're trying to decide something. 18:08
18:14
>> Rachel. 18:14
18:20
[Applause] 18:20
18:26
Hey. Hey. 18:26
18:28
>> They're just trying to decide something. 18:28
18:30
>> Oh, good. Good. Good. 18:30
18:38
So, is um was your mustache did it used 18:38
18:41
to be different? 18:41
18:44
>> No. 18:44
18:45
>> Oh. 18:45
18:49
How do you uh you know keep it so neat? 18:49
18:54
>> I have a little comb. 18:54
18:55
>> Oh, 18:55
19:00
>> and what do you call that? 19:00
19:01
>> A mustache comb. 19:01
19:02
>> Thank you. 19:02
19:04
>> Okay. I I will do your laundry for one 19:04
19:08
month. No. Okay. Okay. Okay. Hey, I will 19:08
19:12
I will I will I Hey, I will clean the 19:12
19:14
apartment for 2 months. 19:14
19:16
>> All right, I'll tell you what. I'll give 19:16
19:17
this to you now if you can tell me where 19:17
19:19
we keep the dustpan. 19:19
19:30
>> So, were you in, ma'am? 19:30
19:36
>> Rock, paper, scissors. 19:36
19:39
>> One, two, three. 19:39
19:41
Yes. 19:41
19:44
>> Fine. Go have sex. 19:44
19:49
>> No, you have got it completely wrong. 19:49
19:51
John Savage was deer hunter. No legs. 19:51
19:54
John Voit was coming home. Couldn't feel 19:54
19:56
his legs. 19:56
19:57
>> No. No. No way. You've got it totally 19:57
19:59
the other way around, my friend. John 19:59
20:01
Voit was what? What? 20:01
20:07
>> Embarrassed that easily. 20:07
20:09
>> What? You would totally get embarrassed. 20:09
20:11
>> No, I don't, Ross. I I think I'm just a 20:11
20:14
more secure person than you are. 20:14
20:16
>> Is that so? 20:16
20:17
>> Yeah. 20:17
20:20
>> Hey, lady. I don't care how much you 20:20
20:22
want it. Okay. I am not going to have 20:22
20:25
sex with you in the bathroom. 20:25
20:32
>> Uh, I'm on my way back to the bathroom. 20:32
20:38
All right. All right. Just keep walking. 20:38
20:40
All right. 20:40
20:51
>> What? What are you? I'm sorry, sir. I 20:51
20:53
just I think he just really likes you. 20:53
20:58
[Music] 20:58
21:01
>> Hey, you know that teacher who had a 21:01
21:04
baby with her student? 21:04
21:06
[Music] 21:06
21:16
Hi. Can I help you? 21:16
21:18
>> Yes. I'm sorry, miss. Do you have any 21:18
21:19
extra pants? Uh, my friend seems to have 21:19
21:22
had a little accident. 21:22
21:25
[Applause] 21:25
21:27
>> Oh my gosh. Rachel, honey, my Are you 21:27
21:31
okay? Where's Paulo? 21:31
21:34
>> Rome. 21:34
21:35
Jerk missed his flight. 21:35
21:37
>> Oh, and then your face exploded. 21:37
21:41
>> No. 21:41
21:43
Okay. I was at the airport getting into 21:43
21:46
a cab when this woman, this blonde 21:46
21:50
planet with a pocketbook, starts yelling 21:50
21:53
at me something about how it was her cab 21:53
21:56
first and then the next thing I know, 21:56
21:58
she's just starts starts pulling me out 21:58
22:00
by my hair, you know, and then I'm 22:00
22:02
blowing my attack whistle thingy. Three 22:02
22:05
more cabs show up. 22:05
22:08
As I'm going to get into a cab, she 22:08
22:10
tackles me and I hit my head on the curb 22:10
22:14
and cut my lip on my whistles. 22:14
22:19
[Laughter] 22:19
22:21
Everybody having fun at the party? 22:21
22:25
>> Are people eating my dip? 22:25
22:30
>> Hey, 22:30
22:31
>> what are you doing? Well, you know, I 22:31
22:32
was thinking of moving the couch over 22:32
22:34
here. 22:34
22:35
>> Why would you want to do that? 22:35
22:36
>> So that there would be a decent place 22:36
22:38
for me to sit. 22:38
22:41
>> Ra, there is a decent place. 22:41
22:43
>> And your lap does not count. 22:43
22:46
>> Okay, come on. Help me move this. 22:46
22:48
>> No, no, no. 22:48
22:50
>> No, 22:50
22:50
>> no. Rosita does not move. 22:50
22:56
>> I'm sorry. Rosita as in 22:56
22:58
>> as in Rosita does not move. 22:58
23:01
Joey, it's just a chair. What's the big 23:01
23:02
deal? 23:02
23:03
>> The big deal is that it is the exact 23:03
23:05
equal distance from the bathroom to the 23:05
23:07
kitchen and it's at the perfect angle so 23:07
23:08
you don't get any glare coming off of 23:08
23:10
Stevie. 23:10
23:13
>> Stevie the TV. 23:13
23:17
>> Is there a problem? 23:17
23:18
>> No. 23:18
23:22
>> Oh, what does he know? 23:22
23:24
>> Come on, Rosita. Chica's got to stick 23:24
23:26
together. 23:26
23:31
No, 23:31
23:36
>> you 23:36
23:39
>> Hello. 23:39
23:40
>> Hello. Is Ross there? 23:40
23:41
>> Uh, no, he's not. Can I take a message? 23:41
23:43
>> Yes, this is Russell. Ross's divorce 23:43
23:45
lawyer. Just tell him that since I 23:45
23:47
haven't heard from him, I assume he's 23:47
23:48
decided to give the marriage a try. 23:48
23:51
>> Ross got married again? No. 23:51
23:55
Look, I was just trying to make a good 23:55
23:57
first impression. Obviously, I screwed 23:57
24:00
up, but what you guys think of me is 24:00
24:02
really important because I'm I'm hoping 24:02
24:04
to get a permanent job here. So, if you 24:04
24:07
just give me another chance to make a 24:07
24:09
good impression. 24:09
24:11
>> Russ, are you crazy? I'm still your 24:11
24:15
wife. What were you just never going to 24:15
24:16
tell me? What the hell is wrong with 24:16
24:18
you? 24:18
24:20
I did this kill you. 24:20
24:27
Why? Rachel. 24:27
24:30
>> Um, what are you doing? 24:30
24:32
>> What? I'm not you. This may be the only 24:32
24:34
wedding I ever have. 24:34
24:37
>> And I want it to be amazing. 24:37
24:39
>> Okay. Okay. Ooh. Ooh. Maybe I rode in on 24:39
24:42
a Harley. 24:42
24:43
>> Okay, Ross. It has to be realistic. 24:43
24:48
>> And my my veil was lace made by blind 24:48
24:51
Belgian nuns. 24:51
24:53
blind. 24:53
24:54
>> Well, not at first, but it was very 24:54
24:57
intricate work. And they said even 24:57
24:58
though they lost their sight, it was all 24:58
25:00
worth it. 25:00
25:01
>> Oh, I bet you looked beautiful. 25:01
25:04
>> Oh, well, I I don't know about that, but 25:04
25:06
there were some people that said I 25:06
25:07
looked like a floating angel. 25:07
25:11
>> How did you propose? 25:11
25:13
>> Oh, yeah. That's a great story. 25:13
25:17
>> Well, um, actually, I I took her to the 25:17
25:20
planetarium. That's That's where we had 25:20
25:23
our first date. Um, she walked in and I 25:23
25:27
had the room filled with lilies, her 25:27
25:29
favorite flower. 25:29
25:31
>> That is so sweet. 25:31
25:32
>> I want to hear the rest. 25:32
25:36
>> Then Fred Estair singing um The Way You 25:36
25:39
Look Tonight came on the sound system 25:39
25:41
and the lights came down and I I got on 25:41
25:44
one knee and written across the dome in 25:44
25:47
the stars were the words, "Will you 25:47
25:49
marry me? 25:49
25:52
And the ring was the size of my fist. 25:52
25:57
>> But you relax. That was 10 blocks from 25:57
26:00
here. And the woman was walking alone at 26:00
26:02
night. I would never do that. Mom, come 26:02
26:05
on. Stop worrying. This is a safe 26:05
26:08
street. This is a safe building. There's 26:08
26:11
nothing. 26:11
26:14
Mom, I got to go. I got to go. I got to 26:14
26:16
go. 26:16
26:21
Okay, 26:21
26:22
that's fine. You just read the paper. 26:22
26:25
I'm going to get a pot. 26:25
26:27
It's not for you. 26:27
26:32
[Music] 26:32
26:35
Okay, that's fine. 26:35
26:38
Read the family circus. 26:38
26:42
Enjoy the gentle comedy. 26:42
26:49
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. 26:49
26:56
[Laughter] 26:56
27:01
It's open, you guys. 27:01
27:04
>> Hi. 27:04
27:05
>> Hey. Hey. Can I help you? 27:05
27:06
>> Yeah. I'm looking for Phoebe. Does she 27:06
27:08
still live here? 27:08
27:09
>> Uh, no, she doesn't, but I can I can get 27:09
27:11
a message to her. 27:11
27:11
>> Great. Uh, just tell her her husband 27:12
27:14
stopped by. 27:14
27:15
>> Her what? 27:15
27:18
Hey, how how did you do that? 27:18
27:22
This 27:22
27:22
>> is so nice. Thank you for doing this. 27:22
27:24
>> Oh, please. Cooking soothes me. 27:24
27:32
>> So, dig in. 27:32
27:34
>> Right. Oh, it all looks so good. 27:34
27:41
>> Oh my god. 27:41
27:42
>> Oh, I know. My god. This is so This rice 27:42
27:44
is so I am so good. behind 27:44
27:47
you. 27:47
27:49
>> Oh, yeah. Sorry. They used to live here 27:49
27:51
and sometimes they migrate back over. 27:51
27:55
>> Is there uh is there some way that they 27:55
27:57
could uh not be here or just that uh 27:57
28:00
farm birds really kind of freak me out? 28:00
28:04
>> Okay. Okay. 28:04
28:06
>> Here we go. Here we go. 28:06
28:12
>> There you go. 28:12
28:23
Hey, how'd you do that? 28:23
28:29
>> All gone. 28:29
28:31
>> So, farm birds, huh? 28:31
28:33
>> Yeah, it's it's my only weird thing. I 28:33
28:35
swear. And I I would have told you about 28:35
28:37
it, but I didn't know that they would be 28:37
28:39
here. 28:39
28:41
>> So, all right. 28:41
28:45
Okay. 28:45
28:47
>> So, can I serve you a little of what? 28:47
28:50
What's What's 28:50
28:51
>> Nothing. I uh It's just that I know that 28:51
28:53
they're still out there. 28:53
28:58
>> But they're across the hall. I mean, 28:58
28:59
that's two doors away. It's going to 28:59
29:01
take them a long time to peck their way 29:01
29:03
back over here. 29:04
29:06
>> That's That's not funny. 29:06
29:10
>> Okay. You know, would you feel better if 29:10
29:14
we went someplace else? I mean, we could 29:14
29:16
pack all this stuff up and, you know, go 29:16
29:18
to your apartment. 29:18
29:19
>> Uh, they're working on it this week. 29:19
29:21
It's a total mess. But, uh, I'm staying 29:21
29:23
at my parents house. We could go there. 29:23
29:25
>> Your parents? 29:25
29:26
>> Yeah. They're out of town. 29:26
29:27
>> Oh, yeah. It's a huge place and and it's 29:27
29:31
got this gorgeous view of the park. It'd 29:31
29:33
be very, very romantic. What do you say? 29:33
29:36
>> Yeah, that works. 29:36
29:41
They can smell the fear. 29:41
29:43
>> I got to double check for tickets 29:43
29:45
tonight. Who Who got what? 29:45
29:46
>> I have one. I need two. 29:46
29:48
>> I'm bringing Pete, my boyfriend. 29:48
29:53
>> I have a boyfriend now. 29:53
29:56
>> Two it is. Russ, how about you? 29:56
29:59
>> Uh, yeah. I uh I also need two. 29:59
30:02
>> Really? Who's number two? 30:02
30:04
>> Who's number two? One of the more 30:04
30:06
difficult games sewer workers play. 30:06
30:10
Uh, no. It's It's just this person 30:10
30:13
>> like a date type person. 30:13
30:15
>> Yeah, kind of. Uh, it's this woman from 30:15
30:17
work. I hope that won't be too weird. 30:17
30:19
Will it, Ra? 30:19
30:21
>> No. No, not at all. Not at all. I was 30:21
30:23
actually going to bring someone in 30:23
30:24
myself. So, 30:24
30:25
>> but you said one ticket. 30:25
30:31
>> I meant me plus one. 30:31
30:34
>> Okay. Did you guys mean you plus one? 30:34
30:38
All right, we'll see you tonight. 30:38
30:40
>> Okay. 30:40
30:41
>> Okay. Bye-bye. 30:41
30:41
>> Bye. 30:41
30:42
>> Bye-bye. 30:42
30:44
>> Okay. I need a date. 30:44
30:45
>> We'll buy and wrap all of your Christmas 30:46
30:47
gifts. 30:47
30:48
>> No. 30:48
30:50
>> I uh Oh, I'll squeeze you fresh orange 30:50
30:52
juice every morning 30:52
30:53
>> with extra pulp. 30:53
30:54
>> Yeah. 30:54
30:55
>> No, 30:55
31:00
>> I've got it. 31:00
31:02
>> You don't have it. 31:02
31:04
>> I so got it. There's going to be rumors 31:04
31:07
about this. There's no way to stop it. 31:08
31:10
Sophie knows. Monica and Phoebe know. 31:10
31:12
>> How do Monica and Phoebe know? 31:12
31:13
>> Oh, I called them. 31:13
31:15
>> And when they ask me what I saw, I can 31:16
31:18
be very generous 31:18
31:23
or very stingy. 31:23
31:27
>> Go on. 31:27
31:29
>> I can make you a legend. 31:29
31:31
I can make you this generation's Milton 31:31
31:34
Burl. 31:34
31:36
And Milton Burl has 31:36
31:37
>> Oh, not compared to you. 31:37
31:45
>> Hello. 31:45
31:46
>> Hey. 31:46
31:47
>> Hey. 31:47
31:48
>> Hello, Chandler. 31:48
31:51
>> I love you. 31:51
31:54
>> Hey, what's going on? 31:54
31:55
>> Oh, 31:56
32:00
>> no, he doesn't. 32:00
32:05
Two hours that lasted. 32:05
32:07
>> What is Chandler Bing's job? 32:08
32:14
>> Oh gosh. This has something to do with 32:14
32:16
numbers and processing. Well, he carries 32:16
32:18
a briefcase. 32:18
32:19
>> 10 seconds. You need this or you lose 32:19
32:20
the game. 32:20
32:21
>> It's um it has something to do with 32:21
32:22
transponding. 32:22
32:23
>> Oh. Oh. Oh, he's a trans trans monster. 32:23
32:29
>> That's not even a word. 32:29
32:32
I can get this. I can get this. 32:32
32:42
>> I really owe you an apology 32:42
32:45
>> for what? 32:45
32:46
>> Well, when we first met, you know, I 32:46
32:48
thought you were pompous and arrogant 32:48
32:50
and obnoxious. Is 32:50
32:51
>> this your first apology? 32:51
32:54
No, 32:54
32:54
>> I just mean that, you know, first 32:54
32:55
impressions don't mean anything. And I I 32:55
32:58
I think you're a really good guy and I'm 32:58
33:00
sorry that I misjudged you. Morning. 33:00
33:05
Do you know what? Hey, new day, new 33:05
33:07
leaf. I am just really, really happy. 33:07
33:13
I'm sorry. Obviously, Heather's ass has 33:13
33:15
something more important to say, so I'll 33:15
33:17
just wait till it's finished. 33:17
33:20
>> What? 33:20
33:21
>> I was giving you an apology and you were 33:21
33:22
totally checking her out. 33:22
33:24
>> I wasn't checking her out. I'm in 33:24
33:25
fashion. I was looking at her skirt. 33:25
33:28
Or was it pants? I didn't really see 33:28
33:30
what happened below the ass area. 33:30
33:33
>> Oh, wow. You are really You're really a 33:33
33:35
creep. 33:35
33:36
>> What do you even care if I was looking 33:36
33:38
at her? Are you jealous? 33:38
33:40
>> Oh, yeah. I'm jealous. Oh, Gavin, please 33:40
33:44
look at my ass. 33:44
33:46
Stop looking at my ass. 33:46
33:49
>> I mean, I just think you are totally 33:49
33:51
inappropriate. Okay, this is a work 33:51
33:53
environment. She's your subordinate. But 33:53
33:56
it was okay when you slept with your old 33:56
33:57
assistant, Tag. 33:57
34:00
>> That is totally different for two 34:00
34:02
reasons. One, 34:02
34:05
I didn't know that you knew that. 34:05
34:08
And two, 34:08
34:10
I wasn't some creep staring at his ass. 34:10
34:12
We had a we had a deep, meaningful 34:12
34:14
relationship. 34:14
34:17
>> Huh? What was Tag's last name? 34:17
34:19
>> It was 34:19
34:23
Oh my god. 34:23
34:25
He he did he he didn't have a last name. 34:25
34:28
>> Sing happy birthday to you now. 34:28
34:29
>> Yeah, sure. 34:29
34:30
>> Oh, all right. Happy birthday. 34:30
34:34
>> See you later. 34:34
34:37
>> Hey, Ra. Somebody got your shoes. Oh, 34:37
34:40
give me 34:40
34:47
Oh, these are my rat babies. 34:47
34:53
Yeah, we have rat babies now. 34:53
34:57
>> Oh, you brought rats to my birthday 34:58
35:00
party. So, this is what a stroke feels 35:00
35:02
like. 35:02
35:04
I had to bring them. We killed their 35:04
35:07
mother. They're our responsibility now. 35:07
35:09
You know, they require constant care. 35:09
35:11
You should know that, Rachel. You're a 35:11
35:13
mother. 35:13
35:15
>> Are you comparing my daughter to a rat? 35:15
35:18
>> No. Seven rats. 35:18
35:22
I think we should take them home. We 35:22
35:23
need to feed them. 35:23
35:24
>> Why are you going to leave my party to 35:24
35:25
take care of a box of rats? Well, 35:26
35:27
>> I'm sorry, Rachel, but I'm not like you, 35:27
35:29
okay? Not everyone can afford help. 35:30
35:33
>> You brought back half the beach in my 35:33
35:35
hair. It was so much easier when I used 35:35
35:37
to shave my head. 35:37
35:43
>> You know, I got to tell you, I just 35:43
35:46
loved your look when you were bald. 35:46
35:49
>> Really? 35:49
35:50
because I think about shaving it all off 35:50
35:52
again sometimes. 35:52
35:54
>> Really? Yeah. I mean, you definitely 35:54
35:57
should do that. 35:57
35:59
>> You know what? I should do it. 35:59
36:00
>> Yeah. You know what? Thank you, Rachel. 36:00
36:02
You are so cool. 36:02
36:04
>> Oh, stop. Cover. 36:04
36:06
>> Now, let's shave that head. 36:06
36:08
>> All right. 36:08
36:12
[Music] 36:13
36:17
>> Hey, everybody. 36:17
36:18
>> Wow. Wow. 36:18
36:20
[Laughter] 36:20
36:24
>> Look what you did. 36:24
36:27
>> You want to touch it? 36:27
36:28
>> No, but but it's great. 36:28
36:30
>> Come on, touch it. 36:30
36:33
>> Okay. 36:33
36:37
You can feel all the bones in your 36:37
36:38
skull. 36:38
36:42
>> Hey, new wallet, huh? 36:42
36:44
>> Oh, yeah. It was time. The old condom 36:44
36:46
ring in the leather just doesn't say 36:46
36:47
cool anymore. You know 36:47
36:49
>> Rachel, you just put an empty carton 36:50
36:52
back in the fridge. 36:52
36:53
>> Oh, yeah. I know. But the garbage was 36:53
36:54
full. 36:54
36:57
>> Have you ever taken out the trash? 36:57
37:00
>> Well, I uh thought you liked doing it. 37:00
37:08
>> Third door on the left. Right. 37:08
37:20
Oh, hey, Mr. Trigger. there. 37:20
37:41
>> What are you doing? 37:41
37:43
>> Um 37:43
37:44
Oh. Oh, 37:44
37:47
I'm sorry. It's a little old, but 37:48
37:51
>> No, you're clogging up the shoot. I just 37:51
37:53
spent a half hour unclogging. 37:53
37:55
>> I'm sorry. I didn't I don't come in here 37:56
37:58
a lot. 37:58
37:59
>> Oh, yeah. Of course you don't. Cuz 37:59
38:01
you're a little princess. 38:01
38:04
Daddy, buy me a pizza. Daddy, buy me a 38:04
38:06
candy factory. Daddy, make the cast of 38:06
38:09
cats sing happy birthday to me. 38:09
38:13
Well, you think you can just come in 38:13
38:14
here, make a mess, a big man in the 38:14
38:16
coveralls will come and clean it up, 38:16
38:17
huh? 38:17
38:18
Well, why don't you think of someone 38:18
38:20
else for a change? 38:20
38:26
>> Okay, I'm sorry. 38:26
38:34
>> God, you're going to cry about it. 38:34
38:39
>> The pages are stuck together. Chandler. 38:39
38:43
[Laughter] 38:43
38:49
>> Oh my god. She She made half an English 38:49
38:52
trifle and 38:52
38:55
half a shepherd's pie. 38:55
38:59
[Applause] 38:59
39:07
>> Yeah. This is so good that I'm going to 39:07
39:09
go enjoy it on the balcony. 39:09
39:12
So, if I can enjoy the view whilst I 39:12
39:15
enjoy my dessert. 39:15
39:18
>> I've got to call my friend Mary and tell 39:18
39:20
her how good this is from Monica's room. 39:20
39:23
>> I'll help you dial. 39:23
39:27
>> I'm going to go into the bathroom so I 39:27
39:28
can look at it in the mirror as I eat 39:28
39:31
it. 39:31
39:34
>> Okay. Now, what was that all about? Is 39:34
39:36
it Does it not taste good? Let me try 39:36
39:37
that. 39:37
39:38
>> No. No. Yeah. 39:38
39:44
All gone. 39:44
39:48
>> So good. 39:48
39:50
Maybe Jan has some left. 39:50
39:56
It tastes like feet. 39:56
40:00
I like it. 40:00
40:05
Are you kidding? What's not to like? 40:05
40:08
Custard. Good jam. Good meat. Good. 40:08
40:15
>> So, a bird just grabbed it and then 40:15
40:20
and then tried to fly away with it and 40:20
40:24
and then just dropped it on the street. 40:24
40:28
>> Yes. But if it's any consolation, before 40:28
40:31
the bird dropped it, he seemed to enjoy 40:31
40:32
it. 40:32
40:35
>> What did Hi. 40:36
40:38
Well, what are you doing here? I'm I'm 40:38
40:40
supposed to pick you up. 40:40
40:41
>> Change of plans. I made you a special 40:41
40:43
Valentine's dinner. Surprise. 40:43
40:48
>> Oh, hey, Mona. Hi. Hi. Hi, Rachel. 40:48
40:53
What's she doing here? 40:53
40:55
>> I have no idea. 40:56
40:58
>> Um, I'll be watching TV if anybody needs 40:58
41:01
me. 41:01
41:03
>> Seriously, what is she doing? Uh, you 41:03
41:05
know, lately she just likes hanging out 41:05
41:06
here. 41:06
41:08
>> Why? 41:08
41:09
>> I think she's lonely. 41:09
41:12
>> Okay, but it's Valentine's Day. Can't we 41:12
41:14
just ask her to go? 41:14
41:16
>> Well, no. No. She's way too emotional. 41:16
41:19
And by emotional, I mean, 41:19
41:25
>> I'm not here. That's just my Chinese 41:25
41:27
food. 41:27
41:28
>> Oh my god. She has food delivered here. 41:28
41:31
Yes, she's she's emotional but but 41:31
41:34
ballsy. 41:34
41:37
>> You know what I'm going to do? I'm going 41:37
41:38
to get in my sweats and eat this in bed. 41:38
41:44
>> And you thought she was going to be in 41:44
41:46
our way. 41:46
41:49
[Music] 41:49
41:51
>> Rachel, what is your cat doing in one of 41:51
41:53
my bowls? 41:53
41:53
>> It's not. I'm defrosting a chicken. 41:54
41:58
>> Oh, I sold uh Mrs. Whiskerson. 41:58
42:00
>> Oh, thank God. Did you get your money 42:00
42:03
back? 42:03
42:03
>> Yeah. $1,500. Wow. You made a profit. 42:03
42:07
[Laughter] 42:07
42:10
>> Hey, I just came for the red velvet 42:10
42:11
pillow. 42:12
42:12
>> Oh, yeah. There you go. 42:12
42:15
>> Thanks, Rachel. 42:15
42:16
>> Yeah. 42:16
42:16
>> Yeah. And uh don't forget you you can 42:16
42:18
come visit her anytime you want. 42:18
42:20
>> Oh, good. Great. I'll I'll keep that in 42:20
42:21
mind. 42:21
42:26
>> Hey, so what is this? Some kind of snake 42:26
42:28
or something? 42:28
42:31
[Music] 42:31

– English Lyrics

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Lyrics & Translation

[English]
[Music]
...
Oh my god. What does that thing do?
...
>> Uh, that's an eye removal machine.
...
>> All right, I'm out. I'm kidding. I'm
...
kidding. Uhoh.
...
>> Hi, Rachel.
...
>> I'm Dr. Miller. Monica told me you were
...
a little nervous, but don't worry.
...
Everything's going to be just fine.
...
>> So, we're done then.
...
>> Almost. But first, we got to start.
...
>> Okay.
...
>> This is the glaucoma test.
...
>> Uh-huh.
...
>> Sit down.
...
>> Okay.
...
>> Put your chin here.
...
>> Mhm.
...
>> Now, you're going to feel a small puff
...
of air in each eye.
...
>> What? What?
...
>> A small puff of air. Now, come on.
...
>> Here we go.
...
>> All right.
...
>> One, two, three.
...
>> Okay.
...
I'm sorry. All right. I'm going to stay
...
in here this time. Okay.
...
>> Ready?
...
>> Uh-huh.
...
>> One, two.
...
>> I'm sorry. You know what? I'm gonna hold
...
her head. Okay.
...
>> That's okay.
...
>> Okay. Okay. Okay.
...
One.
...
>> Uhhuh.
...
>> Two.
...
>> I'm sorry.
...
>> You know what? You're young. You
...
probably don't have glaucoma.
...
>> Okay.
...
>> Okay. So, it was very, very nice to meet
...
you, sir. And ow. Hey, what are you? Are
...
you crazy?
...
>> Okay. You got a small minor infection in
...
that left eye. I want you to take these
...
drops three times a day for a week, and
...
you'll be as good as new.
...
>> Yeah. No, I I don't I don't put things
...
in my eye.
...
>> Okay, then. I guess we'll see you back
...
here in three months.
...
>> Great.
...
>> And I'll fit you for a glass eye.
...
>> Okay, just give me the damn drops.
...
>> Dr. Miller.
...
>> P E C F D.
...
>> Very good, Monica.
...
>> You know where they are.
...
>> I sure do.
...
>> And you don't get one.
...
>> Okay.
...
Not even close. Okay. Well, then you
...
know what? Help me. I need help. I can
...
do this.
...
>> All right. Come on. Let's do it.
...
>> Come on. All right.
...
>> Sit down.
...
>> All right.
...
>> All right. Put your head back.
...
>> Yes.
...
>> All right.
...
>> Okay. Now, open your eyes.
...
>> Okay. They are.
...
>> How many fingers am I holding up?
...
>> Four.
...
>> Oh my god. I was thinking four.
...
>> Really?
...
>> Yes.
...
>> All right. You know what? Why don't we
...
start with a practice one? Okay. Okay.
...
Okay.
...
>> No drops.
...
>> Great.
...
>> Okay.
...
>> Okay.
...
>> All right. On three. One,
...
>> two, three.
...
>> My pillow's all wet.
...
>> Well, well, you said it was practice.
...
>> Then why did you move?
...
>> Because I knew you were lying.
...
>> All right. Come here. What are you
...
doing? Monica, stop it.
...
>> Oh my gosh. Stop it.
...
>> I am going. I'm going to turn it over.
...
I'm going to get
...
these arms in your eyes.
...
>> Oh my god, you really are freakishly
...
strong.
...
[Music]
...
>> Damn, it's empty.
...
>> Well, you know, if Joey and Chandler
...
walked in right now, we could make a
...
fortune.
...
>> Can you pass me a TV guide?
...
>> Yeah.
...
>> Go. What?
...
Oh my god. Hold it open.
...
>> Okay.
...
>> We'll see you in about 3 or 4 hours.
...
>> Give me back my sweater or it's handbag
...
marinara.
...
>> You don't have the guts. Oh yeah? Well,
...
at least I wasn't too chicken to tell
...
some guy I thought he was cute.
...
Oh. All right. Stop. Stop the madness.
...
>> This is crazy. Who can even remember why
...
you started fighting in the first place?
...
>> She knew that I joined him. She would
...
have to fight first.
...
>> Yes, that's right.
...
But still, I look at your purse.
...
Look at your sweater.
...
Look at yourselves.
...
I'll help you fix your sweater.
...
I'll help you throw out your purse.
...
>> I'm sorry that I made you stop seeing
...
him.
...
>> Well, I'm sorry I went out with him when
...
I knew you liked him.
...
I'm sorry that I borrowed your gloves.
...
>> I'm quitting. I just helped an
...
81year-old woman put on a thong and she
...
didn't even buy it.
...
I'm telling you, I'm quitting. That's
...
it. I'm talking to my boss right now.
...
Yes, I am. Yes, I am. Yes, I am. Yes, I
...
am. Yes, I am. Yes, I am. Okay, bye.
...
Call me when you get this message.
...
>> Oh, Mr. Waltham, I uh really need to
...
talk to you
...
>> in a moment, please. I'm in the middle
...
of a task. And you have a customer.
...
>> Hi.
...
>> Hi. I'm Joshua.
...
>> Hi. I'm Rachel Green. What can I do for
...
you, Joshua?
...
>> Well, uh, I need a whole new wardrobe.
...
My wife, well, my exwife.
...
>> Oh, I'm so sorry.
...
>> Anyway, she burned all of my clothes.
...
So, I got away with two things. this
...
suit and what turned out to be a uh
...
skirt.
...
>> Well, at least that's a great suit.
...
>> Yeah, but it wasn't much fun dropping it
...
off at the dry cleaners in the skirt.
...
>> So, I need everything down to underwear.
...
So, if you're willing, I'm uh I'm all
...
yours.
...
>> Okay,
...
Rachel, you needed to speak to me.
...
>> No, no, that wasn't me.
...
>> Well, we should get started. Let me show
...
you my underwear.
...
>> The selection of underwear that we
...
carry.
...
>> Oh, I'm sorry. It's this way. It's this
...
way.
...
>> It's this way. Yeah. Sorry.
...
[Music]
...
>> Would you like to go to a basketball
...
game with No.
...
>> You know, it's funny basketball because
...
I happen to have tickets to
...
Okay. Um,
...
who likes the Nick?
...
>> What do you think?
...
>> Well, as a single woman who is
...
available,
...
I think you look great.
...
>> Huh? Huh?
...
>> Yep. Oh, yeah. You look great.
...
Oh, yeah. Yeah. This looks great.
...
>> Um, so you like it?
...
>> I do. I do. I love it. In fact, I I
...
think I'm going to wear it home.
...
>> Great.
...
>> All right. Well, thank you so much for
...
all your help.
...
>> Sure.
...
>> Well, I guess uh I guess this is it. See
...
you.
...
>> Thanks. Maybe I'll see you in the
...
spring, you know, with the uh for the
...
bathing suits.
...
>> Well, well, you don't want to do that
...
now.
...
>> That's okay. I
...
>> Anyway, hopefully I I'll see you around
...
sometime.
...
>> Basketball.
...
Sorry.
...
>> I uh I have two tickets to the Knicks
...
game tonight if you're interested just
...
as a thank you for this week.
...
>> Wow, that would be great.
...
>> Really?
...
>> Yeah, that would be fantastic. My my
...
nephew is crazy about the Knicks.
...
>> This is fantastic. Thank you so much,
...
Rachel.
...
>> Good morning. Hi.
...
>> Okay. For next time, what do you say?
...
>> I have an extra ticket. An extra ticket.
...
Not two tickets. I have an extra ticket.
...
>> So, the first time you asked a guy out,
...
he he turns you down.
...
>> He didn't turn me down. He's at the
...
game, isn't he? I got the date. I'm just
...
not on it.
...
No, you hang up. You you you
...
>> Sorry, I thought you were talking to me.
...
>> Rachel,
...
>> I'll just call her back.
...
>> Okay.
...
>> I'm sorry. We got disconnected.
...
>> Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. How did this
...
happen to me? How did this happen to me?
...
A week ago, two weeks ago, I was fine.
...
Ross was just Ross. Just this guy. Now
...
all of a sudden, he's Ross.
...
Oh, this really great guy that I can't
...
have.
...
>> Sweetie, I wanted you to have him, too.
...
>> I know you did,
...
just going to deal with it. Just going
...
to deal with it.
...
>> Come on out, honey. I'm telling you, you
...
look good. Tell her she looks good. Tell
...
her she looks good.
...
[Applause]
...
>> Oh my god,
...
you look so good.
...
I cannot believe I have to walk down the
...
aisle in front of 200 people looking
...
like something you drink when you're
...
nauseous.
...
>> So don't I don't see why we have to go
...
to this thing anyway. It's your your ex
...
feel and say's wedding
...
>> because I promised Mindy I would.
...
>> Yeah, well, you promised Barry you'd
...
marry him.
...
>> Look, you guys, I have to go. I'm the
...
maid of honor. And besides, you know
...
what? I just need to be in a room again
...
with these people and feel good about
...
myself.
...
[Laughter]
...
>> Look at the window. There's my name. Hi,
...
me.
...
I remember the day I got my first
...
paycheck. There was a cave-in in one of
...
the mines and eight people were killed.
...
>> Wow. You worked in a mine?
...
>> I worked in a Dairy Queen mine.
...
God, isn't this exciting? I earned this.
...
I wiped tables for it. I steamed milk
...
for it. And it was totally
...
not worth it.
...
Who's Fica? Why is he getting all my
...
money?
...
>> I mean, what Chandler? Look at that.
...
>> Oh, this is not that bad.
...
>> Oh, you're fine. Yeah. For first job,
...
you can totally totally live on this.
...
>> Oh, yeah. Yeah.
...
>> Hey, by the way, great service to
...
>> Whoops. Oh, I seem to have dropped my
...
fork.
...
Let me just bend over and get it.
...
[Laughter]
...
Oh god.
...
>> Okay, enough. This is This is not going
...
to happen.
...
>> Oh, come on, Ros. I'm miserable here.
...
Come on. You started this. Now you
...
finish it.
...
Come on, West. Make love to me.
...
>> You know what?
...
>> What?
...
>> Forget it.
...
>> Oh, wow. What? Now, Ross, you're not
...
going to talk? How on earth will you
...
ever annoy me?
...
Oh, wait a minute. I know.
...
I mean, you think the damn jalapeno
...
would have cleared up your sinuses, but
...
no, that's not enough.
...
>> What are you doing?
...
>> I'm getting that baby out of you.
...
[Applause]
...
>> Oh, God.
...
>> Oh, I know.
...
>> Oh, no.
...
>> I think my water just broke.
...
>> I am good.
...
Okay. Okay. Uh okay. I got I got the
...
pillow. Uh got the bag. You got the
...
keys?
...
>> I got the keys.
...
>> Okay. Okay.
...
>> Hey. Yeah.
...
>> We're having a baby.
...
I didn't uh really have time to read
...
this part of the books, but do you think
...
do you think we have time?
...
>> Not so much.
...
>> Okay.
...
>> I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
...
>> That is it. You just barge in here. You
...
don't knock. You have no respect for
...
anybody's privacy.
...
>> No. You wait. This is ridiculous.
...
>> Just say one thing.
...
>> What? What? That's a relatively open
...
weave and I can still see your
...
nipular areas.
...
>> I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I could
...
>> Chandler Bing, it's time to see your
...
thing.
...
What's the matter with you?
...
>> What was
...
>> you were supposed to be in there so I
...
could see your thing.
...
>> Sorry. My My thing was in there with me.
...
[Music]
...
>> Rachel, what are you doing? It's
...
freezing out here. Would you come back
...
inside?
...
>> No, no, no, no, no. You wanted me to
...
take him down, so I'm taking him down.
...
Okay,
...
>> Rachel, I'm okay. I'm okay.
...
Mr. Eckles.
...
Mr. Hickles, could you could you help
...
me, please?
...
>> See, this is just the kind of thing I
...
was talking about.
...
>> You You've been quiet all morning. Is
...
everything okay?
...
>> Mhm.
...
You sure you're all right?
...
>> Yep.
...
>> Okay. Um, well, I'm going to go uh grab
...
us some breakfast.
...
>> FYI,
...
>> there it is.
...
>> In the future, when a girl asks for some
...
ill-advised sympathy sex, just do it.
...
>> Wait, wait. You're uh you're mad at me
...
about last night? I was just trying to
...
do the right thing.
...
>> Really? Well, it seems to me if you had
...
done the right thing, I would not have
...
woken up today feeling stupid and
...
embarrassed. I would have woken up
...
feeling comforted and satisfied.
...
>> Well,
...
>> oh, stop that.
...
>> I can't believe this. What? I I was just
...
being a good guy. I treated you with
...
with respect and understanding.
...
>> Oh, that's so hot.
...
>> Hey, I was looking out for you.
...
>> Oh, really? Well, Ross, you know what? I
...
am a big girl. I don't need someone
...
telling me what is best for me.
...
>> I got to say, I've not had sex a lot of
...
times before. This is the worst ever.
...
>> Oh, really? Really? Well, it wasn't very
...
good for me either.
...
>> Oh, okay. You know, hey, hey, you know
...
what? You know what? To avoid this
...
little thing in the future, let's just
...
say you and me never having sex again.
...
>> What?
...
>> That's right. Sex is off the table. I am
...
never having sex with you again.
...
Dr. Green, are you feeling better?
...
>> Yeah, sure.
...
>> Okay. In about 10 seconds, you're going
...
to see him kiss me.
...
>> And in about 5 seconds, you're going to
...
see why.
...
>> Ross, did I ever tell you about the time
...
that I went backpacking through Western
...
Europe?
...
[Laughter]
...
Okay, get ready to see some begging.
...
>> Oh, you came on to Ross.
...
>> What?
...
>> Now I'm so happy.
...
>> What are you talking about?
...
>> You use the Europe story.
...
>> That's the magic story you use when you
...
want to have sex.
...
>> How do you know about that story? How do
...
you know about that story?
...
>> I heard it from my friend Irene who
...
heard it from some guy.
...
>> Some guy.
...
>> No, no. She told me that his name was
...
Ken Adams.
...
>> Ken Adams.
...
>> Oh, hi. Hi. Richard just told me he
...
loved me.
...
>> Oh my god. I know,
...
>> honey. That's great.
...
>> I know. I just can't find.
...
>> Oh, they're in the top drawer.
...
>> Hurry.
...
>> You need one, too?
...
>> Oh, yeah.
...
>> There's only one.
...
>> Monica.
...
>> Hi. Uh, we'll be right there. We just um
...
we're trying to decide something.
...
>> Rachel.
...
[Applause]
...
Hey. Hey.
...
>> They're just trying to decide something.
...
>> Oh, good. Good. Good.
...
So, is um was your mustache did it used
...
to be different?
...
>> No.
...
>> Oh.
...
How do you uh you know keep it so neat?
...
>> I have a little comb.
...
>> Oh,
...
>> and what do you call that?
...
>> A mustache comb.
...
>> Thank you.
...
>> Okay. I I will do your laundry for one
...
month. No. Okay. Okay. Okay. Hey, I will
...
I will I will I Hey, I will clean the
...
apartment for 2 months.
...
>> All right, I'll tell you what. I'll give
...
this to you now if you can tell me where
...
we keep the dustpan.
...
>> So, were you in, ma'am?
...
>> Rock, paper, scissors.
...
>> One, two, three.
...
Yes.
...
>> Fine. Go have sex.
...
>> No, you have got it completely wrong.
...
John Savage was deer hunter. No legs.
...
John Voit was coming home. Couldn't feel
...
his legs.
...
>> No. No. No way. You've got it totally
...
the other way around, my friend. John
...
Voit was what? What?
...
>> Embarrassed that easily.
...
>> What? You would totally get embarrassed.
...
>> No, I don't, Ross. I I think I'm just a
...
more secure person than you are.
...
>> Is that so?
...
>> Yeah.
...
>> Hey, lady. I don't care how much you
...
want it. Okay. I am not going to have
...
sex with you in the bathroom.
...
>> Uh, I'm on my way back to the bathroom.
...
All right. All right. Just keep walking.
...
All right.
...
>> What? What are you? I'm sorry, sir. I
...
just I think he just really likes you.
...
[Music]
...
>> Hey, you know that teacher who had a
...
baby with her student?
...
[Music]
...
Hi. Can I help you?
...
>> Yes. I'm sorry, miss. Do you have any
...
extra pants? Uh, my friend seems to have
...
had a little accident.
...
[Applause]
...
>> Oh my gosh. Rachel, honey, my Are you
...
okay? Where's Paulo?
...
>> Rome.
...
Jerk missed his flight.
...
>> Oh, and then your face exploded.
...
>> No.
...
Okay. I was at the airport getting into
...
a cab when this woman, this blonde
...
planet with a pocketbook, starts yelling
...
at me something about how it was her cab
...
first and then the next thing I know,
...
she's just starts starts pulling me out
...
by my hair, you know, and then I'm
...
blowing my attack whistle thingy. Three
...
more cabs show up.
...
As I'm going to get into a cab, she
...
tackles me and I hit my head on the curb
...
and cut my lip on my whistles.
...
[Laughter]
...
Everybody having fun at the party?
...
>> Are people eating my dip?
...
>> Hey,
...
>> what are you doing? Well, you know, I
...
was thinking of moving the couch over
...
here.
...
>> Why would you want to do that?
...
>> So that there would be a decent place
...
for me to sit.
...
>> Ra, there is a decent place.
...
>> And your lap does not count.
...
>> Okay, come on. Help me move this.
...
>> No, no, no.
...
>> No,
...
>> no. Rosita does not move.
...
>> I'm sorry. Rosita as in
...
>> as in Rosita does not move.
...
Joey, it's just a chair. What's the big
...
deal?
...
>> The big deal is that it is the exact
...
equal distance from the bathroom to the
...
kitchen and it's at the perfect angle so
...
you don't get any glare coming off of
...
Stevie.
...
>> Stevie the TV.
...
>> Is there a problem?
...
>> No.
...
>> Oh, what does he know?
...
>> Come on, Rosita. Chica's got to stick
...
together.
...
No,
...
>> you
...
>> Hello.
...
>> Hello. Is Ross there?
...
>> Uh, no, he's not. Can I take a message?
...
>> Yes, this is Russell. Ross's divorce
...
lawyer. Just tell him that since I
...
haven't heard from him, I assume he's
...
decided to give the marriage a try.
...
>> Ross got married again? No.
...
Look, I was just trying to make a good
...
first impression. Obviously, I screwed
...
up, but what you guys think of me is
...
really important because I'm I'm hoping
...
to get a permanent job here. So, if you
...
just give me another chance to make a
...
good impression.
...
>> Russ, are you crazy? I'm still your
...
wife. What were you just never going to
...
tell me? What the hell is wrong with
...
you?
...
I did this kill you.
...
Why? Rachel.
...
>> Um, what are you doing?
...
>> What? I'm not you. This may be the only
...
wedding I ever have.
...
>> And I want it to be amazing.
...
>> Okay. Okay. Ooh. Ooh. Maybe I rode in on
...
a Harley.
...
>> Okay, Ross. It has to be realistic.
...
>> And my my veil was lace made by blind
...
Belgian nuns.
...
blind.
...
>> Well, not at first, but it was very
...
intricate work. And they said even
...
though they lost their sight, it was all
...
worth it.
...
>> Oh, I bet you looked beautiful.
...
>> Oh, well, I I don't know about that, but
...
there were some people that said I
...
looked like a floating angel.
...
>> How did you propose?
...
>> Oh, yeah. That's a great story.
...
>> Well, um, actually, I I took her to the
...
planetarium. That's That's where we had
...
our first date. Um, she walked in and I
...
had the room filled with lilies, her
...
favorite flower.
...
>> That is so sweet.
...
>> I want to hear the rest.
...
>> Then Fred Estair singing um The Way You
...
Look Tonight came on the sound system
...
and the lights came down and I I got on
...
one knee and written across the dome in
...
the stars were the words, "Will you
...
marry me?
...
And the ring was the size of my fist.
...
>> But you relax. That was 10 blocks from
...
here. And the woman was walking alone at
...
night. I would never do that. Mom, come
...
on. Stop worrying. This is a safe
...
street. This is a safe building. There's
...
nothing.
...
Mom, I got to go. I got to go. I got to
...
go.
...
Okay,
...
that's fine. You just read the paper.
...
I'm going to get a pot.
...
It's not for you.
...
[Music]
...
Okay, that's fine.
...
Read the family circus.
...
Enjoy the gentle comedy.
...
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god.
...
[Laughter]
...
It's open, you guys.
...
>> Hi.
...
>> Hey. Hey. Can I help you?
...
>> Yeah. I'm looking for Phoebe. Does she
...
still live here?
...
>> Uh, no, she doesn't, but I can I can get
...
a message to her.
...
>> Great. Uh, just tell her her husband
...
stopped by.
...
>> Her what?
...
Hey, how how did you do that?
...
This
...
>> is so nice. Thank you for doing this.
...
>> Oh, please. Cooking soothes me.
...
>> So, dig in.
...
>> Right. Oh, it all looks so good.
...
>> Oh my god.
...
>> Oh, I know. My god. This is so This rice
...
is so I am so good. behind
...
you.
...
>> Oh, yeah. Sorry. They used to live here
...
and sometimes they migrate back over.
...
>> Is there uh is there some way that they
...
could uh not be here or just that uh
...
farm birds really kind of freak me out?
...
>> Okay. Okay.
...
>> Here we go. Here we go.
...
>> There you go.
...
Hey, how'd you do that?
...
>> All gone.
...
>> So, farm birds, huh?
...
>> Yeah, it's it's my only weird thing. I
...
swear. And I I would have told you about
...
it, but I didn't know that they would be
...
here.
...
>> So, all right.
...
Okay.
...
>> So, can I serve you a little of what?
...
What's What's
...
>> Nothing. I uh It's just that I know that
...
they're still out there.
...
>> But they're across the hall. I mean,
...
that's two doors away. It's going to
...
take them a long time to peck their way
...
back over here.
...
>> That's That's not funny.
...
>> Okay. You know, would you feel better if
...
we went someplace else? I mean, we could
...
pack all this stuff up and, you know, go
...
to your apartment.
...
>> Uh, they're working on it this week.
...
It's a total mess. But, uh, I'm staying
...
at my parents house. We could go there.
...
>> Your parents?
...
>> Yeah. They're out of town.
...
>> Oh, yeah. It's a huge place and and it's
...
got this gorgeous view of the park. It'd
...
be very, very romantic. What do you say?
...
>> Yeah, that works.
...
They can smell the fear.
...
>> I got to double check for tickets
...
tonight. Who Who got what?
...
>> I have one. I need two.
...
>> I'm bringing Pete, my boyfriend.
...
>> I have a boyfriend now.
...
>> Two it is. Russ, how about you?
...
>> Uh, yeah. I uh I also need two.
...
>> Really? Who's number two?
...
>> Who's number two? One of the more
...
difficult games sewer workers play.
...
Uh, no. It's It's just this person
...
>> like a date type person.
...
>> Yeah, kind of. Uh, it's this woman from
...
work. I hope that won't be too weird.
...
Will it, Ra?
...
>> No. No, not at all. Not at all. I was
...
actually going to bring someone in
...
myself. So,
...
>> but you said one ticket.
...
>> I meant me plus one.
...
>> Okay. Did you guys mean you plus one?
...
All right, we'll see you tonight.
...
>> Okay.
...
>> Okay. Bye-bye.
...
>> Bye.
...
>> Bye-bye.
...
>> Okay. I need a date.
...
>> We'll buy and wrap all of your Christmas
...
gifts.
...
>> No.
...
>> I uh Oh, I'll squeeze you fresh orange
...
juice every morning
...
>> with extra pulp.
...
>> Yeah.
...
>> No,
...
>> I've got it.
...
>> You don't have it.
...
>> I so got it. There's going to be rumors
...
about this. There's no way to stop it.
...
Sophie knows. Monica and Phoebe know.
...
>> How do Monica and Phoebe know?
...
>> Oh, I called them.
...
>> And when they ask me what I saw, I can
...
be very generous
...
or very stingy.
...
>> Go on.
...
>> I can make you a legend.
...
I can make you this generation's Milton
...
Burl.
...
And Milton Burl has
...
>> Oh, not compared to you.
...
>> Hello.
...
>> Hey.
...
>> Hey.
...
>> Hello, Chandler.
...
>> I love you.
...
>> Hey, what's going on?
...
>> Oh,
...
>> no, he doesn't.
...
Two hours that lasted.
...
>> What is Chandler Bing's job?
...
>> Oh gosh. This has something to do with
...
numbers and processing. Well, he carries
...
a briefcase.
...
>> 10 seconds. You need this or you lose
...
the game.
...
>> It's um it has something to do with
...
transponding.
...
>> Oh. Oh. Oh, he's a trans trans monster.
...
>> That's not even a word.
...
I can get this. I can get this.
...
>> I really owe you an apology
...
>> for what?
...
>> Well, when we first met, you know, I
...
thought you were pompous and arrogant
...
and obnoxious. Is
...
>> this your first apology?
...
No,
...
>> I just mean that, you know, first
...
impressions don't mean anything. And I I
...
I think you're a really good guy and I'm
...
sorry that I misjudged you. Morning.
...
Do you know what? Hey, new day, new
...
leaf. I am just really, really happy.
...
I'm sorry. Obviously, Heather's ass has
...
something more important to say, so I'll
...
just wait till it's finished.
...
>> What?
...
>> I was giving you an apology and you were
...
totally checking her out.
...
>> I wasn't checking her out. I'm in
...
fashion. I was looking at her skirt.
...
Or was it pants? I didn't really see
...
what happened below the ass area.
...
>> Oh, wow. You are really You're really a
...
creep.
...
>> What do you even care if I was looking
...
at her? Are you jealous?
...
>> Oh, yeah. I'm jealous. Oh, Gavin, please
...
look at my ass.
...
Stop looking at my ass.
...
>> I mean, I just think you are totally
...
inappropriate. Okay, this is a work
...
environment. She's your subordinate. But
...
it was okay when you slept with your old
...
assistant, Tag.
...
>> That is totally different for two
...
reasons. One,
...
I didn't know that you knew that.
...
And two,
...
I wasn't some creep staring at his ass.
...
We had a we had a deep, meaningful
...
relationship.
...
>> Huh? What was Tag's last name?
...
>> It was
...
Oh my god.
...
He he did he he didn't have a last name.
...
>> Sing happy birthday to you now.
...
>> Yeah, sure.
...
>> Oh, all right. Happy birthday.
...
>> See you later.
...
>> Hey, Ra. Somebody got your shoes. Oh,
...
give me
...
Oh, these are my rat babies.
...
Yeah, we have rat babies now.
...
>> Oh, you brought rats to my birthday
...
party. So, this is what a stroke feels
...
like.
...
I had to bring them. We killed their
...
mother. They're our responsibility now.
...
You know, they require constant care.
...
You should know that, Rachel. You're a
...
mother.
...
>> Are you comparing my daughter to a rat?
...
>> No. Seven rats.
...
I think we should take them home. We
...
need to feed them.
...
>> Why are you going to leave my party to
...
take care of a box of rats? Well,
...
>> I'm sorry, Rachel, but I'm not like you,
...
okay? Not everyone can afford help.
...
>> You brought back half the beach in my
...
hair. It was so much easier when I used
...
to shave my head.
...
>> You know, I got to tell you, I just
...
loved your look when you were bald.
...
>> Really?
...
because I think about shaving it all off
...
again sometimes.
...
>> Really? Yeah. I mean, you definitely
...
should do that.
...
>> You know what? I should do it.
...
>> Yeah. You know what? Thank you, Rachel.
...
You are so cool.
...
>> Oh, stop. Cover.
...
>> Now, let's shave that head.
...
>> All right.
...
[Music]
...
>> Hey, everybody.
...
>> Wow. Wow.
...
[Laughter]
...
>> Look what you did.
...
>> You want to touch it?
...
>> No, but but it's great.
...
>> Come on, touch it.
...
>> Okay.
...
You can feel all the bones in your
...
skull.
...
>> Hey, new wallet, huh?
...
>> Oh, yeah. It was time. The old condom
...
ring in the leather just doesn't say
...
cool anymore. You know
...
>> Rachel, you just put an empty carton
...
back in the fridge.
...
>> Oh, yeah. I know. But the garbage was
...
full.
...
>> Have you ever taken out the trash?
...
>> Well, I uh thought you liked doing it.
...
>> Third door on the left. Right.
...
Oh, hey, Mr. Trigger. there.
...
>> What are you doing?
...
>> Um
...
Oh. Oh,
...
I'm sorry. It's a little old, but
...
>> No, you're clogging up the shoot. I just
...
spent a half hour unclogging.
...
>> I'm sorry. I didn't I don't come in here
...
a lot.
...
>> Oh, yeah. Of course you don't. Cuz
...
you're a little princess.
...
Daddy, buy me a pizza. Daddy, buy me a
...
candy factory. Daddy, make the cast of
...
cats sing happy birthday to me.
...
Well, you think you can just come in
...
here, make a mess, a big man in the
...
coveralls will come and clean it up,
...
huh?
...
Well, why don't you think of someone
...
else for a change?
...
>> Okay, I'm sorry.
...
>> God, you're going to cry about it.
...
>> The pages are stuck together. Chandler.
...
[Laughter]
...
>> Oh my god. She She made half an English
...
trifle and
...
half a shepherd's pie.
...
[Applause]
...
>> Yeah. This is so good that I'm going to
...
go enjoy it on the balcony.
...
So, if I can enjoy the view whilst I
...
enjoy my dessert.
...
>> I've got to call my friend Mary and tell
...
her how good this is from Monica's room.
...
>> I'll help you dial.
...
>> I'm going to go into the bathroom so I
...
can look at it in the mirror as I eat
...
it.
...
>> Okay. Now, what was that all about? Is
...
it Does it not taste good? Let me try
...
that.
...
>> No. No. Yeah.
...
All gone.
...
>> So good.
...
Maybe Jan has some left.
...
It tastes like feet.
...
I like it.
...
Are you kidding? What's not to like?
...
Custard. Good jam. Good meat. Good.
...
>> So, a bird just grabbed it and then
...
and then tried to fly away with it and
...
and then just dropped it on the street.
...
>> Yes. But if it's any consolation, before
...
the bird dropped it, he seemed to enjoy
...
it.
...
>> What did Hi.
...
Well, what are you doing here? I'm I'm
...
supposed to pick you up.
...
>> Change of plans. I made you a special
...
Valentine's dinner. Surprise.
...
>> Oh, hey, Mona. Hi. Hi. Hi, Rachel.
...
What's she doing here?
...
>> I have no idea.
...
>> Um, I'll be watching TV if anybody needs
...
me.
...
>> Seriously, what is she doing? Uh, you
...
know, lately she just likes hanging out
...
here.
...
>> Why?
...
>> I think she's lonely.
...
>> Okay, but it's Valentine's Day. Can't we
...
just ask her to go?
...
>> Well, no. No. She's way too emotional.
...
And by emotional, I mean,
...
>> I'm not here. That's just my Chinese
...
food.
...
>> Oh my god. She has food delivered here.
...
Yes, she's she's emotional but but
...
ballsy.
...
>> You know what I'm going to do? I'm going
...
to get in my sweats and eat this in bed.
...
>> And you thought she was going to be in
...
our way.
...
[Music]
...
>> Rachel, what is your cat doing in one of
...
my bowls?
...
>> It's not. I'm defrosting a chicken.
...
>> Oh, I sold uh Mrs. Whiskerson.
...
>> Oh, thank God. Did you get your money
...
back?
...
>> Yeah. $1,500. Wow. You made a profit.
...
[Laughter]
...
>> Hey, I just came for the red velvet
...
pillow.
...
>> Oh, yeah. There you go.
...
>> Thanks, Rachel.
...
>> Yeah.
...
>> Yeah. And uh don't forget you you can
...
come visit her anytime you want.
...
>> Oh, good. Great. I'll I'll keep that in
...
mind.
...
>> Hey, so what is this? Some kind of snake
...
or something?
...
[Music]

Key Vocabulary

Start Practicing
Vocabulary Meanings

machine

/məˈʃiːn/

B1
  • noun
  • - a device with moving parts that performs a task

nervous

/ˈnɜːrvəs/

B1
  • adjective
  • - anxious or apprehensive

glaucoma

/ˌɡlɔːˈkoʊmə/

C1
  • noun
  • - a disease of the optic nerve that can lead to blindness

infection

/ɪnˈfɛkʃən/

B2
  • noun
  • - the invasion of the body by harmful microorganisms

drops

/drɒps/

A2
  • noun
  • - small quantities of liquid falling in a particular way

crazy

/ˈkreɪzi/

A2
  • adjective
  • - mentally deranged, extremely enthusiastic

fortune

/ˈfɔːrtʃuːn/

B2
  • noun
  • - a large amount of money or wealth

romantic

/roʊˈmæntɪk/

B1
  • adjective
  • - concerning or evocative of love

wardrobe

/ˈwɔːrdroʊb/

B1
  • noun
  • - a tall cabinet for storing clothes

burned

/bɜːrnd/

A2
  • verb
  • - to be damaged or destroyed by fire

apologize

/əˈpɒləˌdʒaɪz/

B1
  • verb
  • - to express regret for wrongdoing

embarrassed

/ɪmˈbærəst/

B1
  • adjective
  • - feeling or showing awkwardness or shame

comfortable

/ˈkʌmfərtəbl/

A2
  • adjective
  • - feeling or showing ease and relaxation

satisfied

/ˈsætɪsfaɪd/

B1
  • adjective
  • - pleased or content

relationship

/rɪˈleɪʃənʃɪp/

B1
  • noun
  • - the way in which two or more people or things are connected

responsible

/rɪˈspɒnsəbl/

B1
  • adjective
  • - having an obligation to do something

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Key Grammar Structures

  • Oh my god. What does that thing do?

    ➔ Interrogative Sentence

    ➔ The sentence starts with 'What,' a common interrogative word used to ask for information.

  • I'm kidding. Uhoh.

    ➔ Present Continuous + Interjection

    ➔ 'I'm kidding' uses the present continuous to indicate an action happening now, while 'Uhoh' is an interjection expressing surprise or realization.

  • Everything's going to be just fine.

    ➔ Future Simple with 'going to'

    ➔ The phrase uses 'going to' to express a future prediction or assurance.

  • This is the glaucoma test.

    ➔ Present Simple for Definition

    ➔ The present simple is used here to define or describe a routine or fact.

  • You're young. You probably don't have glaucoma.

    ➔ Present Simple + Adverb of Probability

    ➔ The present simple is used with 'probably' to express a likelihood or assumption.

  • I guess we'll see you back here in three months.

    ➔ Future with 'will' for Prediction

    ➔ 'Will' is used here to make a prediction about a future event.

  • Maybe I'll see you in the spring, you know, with the uh for the bathing suits.

    ➔ Future with 'will' + Indirect Speech

    ➔ 'Will' is used for a future possibility, and the phrase includes indirect speech with 'you know.'

  • I'm just going to deal with it. Just going to deal with it.

    ➔ Future Simple with 'going to' for Intention

    ➔ 'Going to' is used to express a future intention or plan.

  • Look what you did.

    ➔ Imperative Mood

    ➔ The imperative mood is used to give a command or instruction.

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