– English Lyrics

Lyrics & Translation

[English]

come on Bernie you're just being

paranoid okay seriously what is this

girl's deal

uh sort of on a date with her what

I found her online

tired of the whole bar scene the one

night hookups I'm looking for a soul

mate someone who I can love and cuddle

or so it says in my profile

but this girl

she wants the same stuff and it's

bumming me out all right Ted call me

from the hospital all right you're going

to the hospital no see he's gonna go

back over there and I'm gonna call him

he's going to pretend it's an emergency

call from a family member at the

hospital oh Lord the fake emergency that

is the lamest most pathetic cop out in

the book I expect more from you Barney

well stay tuned I'm working on some

stuff but in the meantime wish me luck

so are you gonna talk to Marshall

I eat the apartment I'm gonna walk the

apartment it's gonna lead to an argument

so no

it's real healthy so when a serious

issue comes up your response is just to

avoid it

I should really like this call

oh can I do it

hello hi there sexy

hello Aunt Kathy what's up oh nothing

just sitting here thinking about you hot

stuff

an accident

book is Uncle Rudy gonna be okay

and Kathy's got an itch that only you

can scratch

big boy

why did he think he could build his

own daddy break me off a piece of that

white chocolate

well if he needs a transplant he can

have my

I'll be right there

you know

hello

time's running out your botsky last

chance for the Lemon Law leave me alone

456 457 450

. we're only just getting to know each

other say I'm right and this could all

be over this could be your call from the

hospital

let me guess this has been a crazy

accident and you have to go

don't ever do that

look if you're a hooker

I don't have a lot of money

hey I'm sorry to

OK down that's okay a legend is totally

rad sword fight didn't it yeah it did

you remember when we first got these

swords it was a day we moved in

congratulations Marshall we live in an

apartment with swords on the wall list

of lifelong dreams you're now half as

long

crap I'm missing one of those screws for

this table let's just use this wood glue

it'll hold

oh God I'll be right there Kevin I'm so

sorry I have to go my friend's been

stabbed with a sword

I'm supposed to get gooch

hang on insult you have no honor

you know if you fell this way you could

have just been up front no I swear that

was a real call I just

Key Vocabulary

Vocabulary	Meanings
paranoid /ˈpær.ə.nɔɪd/ C1	adjective - excessively suspicious or fearful, especially about imagined threats
hookup /ˈhʊk.ʌp/ B2	noun - a casual sexual encounter; also, a connection between devices
soulmate /ˈsəʊl.meɪt/ C1	noun - a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner
cuddle /ˈkʌd.əl/ B1	verb - to hold close in one's arms as a way of showing love or affection noun - an act of holding someone close in one's arms
bumming /ˈbʌm.ɪŋ/ B2	verb (present participle) - to cause someone to feel depressed or disappointed
emergency /ɪˈmɜː.dʒən.si/ B1	noun - a serious, unexpected, and often dangerous situation requiring immediate action
lamest /ˈleɪ.mɪst/ B2	adjective (superlative) - the most weak, feeble, or uninteresting
pathetic /pəˈθɛt.ɪk/ B2	adjective - causing pity; weak or inadequate; contemptibly ineffective
tuned /tjuːn/ B2	verb (past participle) - adjusted or set to the correct pitch or frequency; also, prepared for upcoming information (as in “stay tuned”)
meantime /ˈmiːn.taɪm/ B2	noun - the period of time between two events; while waiting
argument /ˈɑːɡ.jʊ.mənt/ B1	noun - a reason or set of reasons given in support of an idea, often expressed as a dispute
avoid /əˈvɔɪd/ B1	verb - to keep away from or prevent something from happening
transplant /ˈtræns.plænt/ B2	noun - the moving of an organ or tissue from one body to another verb - to transplant (an organ, tissue, etc.)
chocolate /ˈtʃɒk.lət/ A2	noun - a sweet, brown food made from roasted cacao beans
scratch /skræʧ/ B1	verb - to rub the skin with the nails causing a small wound; also, to rub something lightly noun - a small mark or wound caused by scraping
accident /ˈæk.sɪ.dənt/ A2	noun - an unexpected event causing damage or injury
screw /skruː/ A2	noun - a metal fastener with a helical ridge, turned by a screwdriver
glue /ɡluː/ A2	noun - a sticky substance used for joining materials together verb - to attach or fasten with glue
legend /ˈle.dʒənd/ B1	noun - a traditional story sometimes popularly regarded as historical but unauthenticated; also, a key to symbols on a map or diagram
sword /sɔːrd/ B1	noun - a weapon with a long metal blade and a hilt, used for cutting or thrusting

Key Grammar Structures

• come on Bernie you're just being paranoid

  ➔ Present continuous ('you're being')

  ➔ The phrase 'you're being paranoid' uses the present continuous to describe an action happening now or a temporary state.

• I found her online

  ➔ Simple past tense

  ➔ The phrase 'I found her online' uses the simple past tense to describe a completed action in the past.

• I'm looking for a soul mate

  ➔ Present progressive for future plans

  ➔ The phrase 'I'm looking for a soul mate' uses the present progressive to indicate a future plan or intention.

• she wants the same stuff and it's bumming me out

  ➔ Present tense with 'it's' for emphasis

  ➔ The phrase 'it's bumming me out' uses 'it's' (contraction of 'it is') for emphasis on the present situation.

• oh Lord the fake emergency that is the lamest most pathetic cop out

  ➔ Relative pronoun ('that') for description

  ➔ The phrase 'that is the lamest...' uses the relative pronoun 'that' to describe the fake emergency.

• if you're a hooker I don't have a lot of money

  ➔ Conditional sentence (if clause)

  ➔ The phrase 'if you're a hooker...' is a conditional sentence expressing a hypothetical situation.

• let's just use this wood glue it'll hold

  ➔ Future contraction ('it'll')

  ➔ The phrase 'it'll hold' uses the future contraction 'it'll' (it will) to express a prediction.