– English Lyrics

Lyrics & Translation

[English]

Are you going to tell me where we're

going? Because if it has the words

farmers or market in it, I don't want to

go.

>> You were talking about all the things

you thought you would never have, so

thought I would get you one.

>> Oh my god. You bought me the Patob.

>> No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

>> I rented you the Batmobile for the day.

>> This is amazing. Thank you.

>> Be careful. I I did not get the

insurance.

Come on, ROBIN.

You know, I I do have a way to get him

out of our hair. Been holding on to this

for a few years, but maybe now's the

time. We can just lock the door. You

don't have to kill him.

>> Can't kill him. He'll just respawn at

the last save point.

>> OH, THAT WAS MY SIXTH TRIP TO THE

BATHROOM.

HEY, as long as that's not a urinary

tract infection, that's a personal best.

Hey, uh, buddy, I got you a little

present.

>> Really?

>> Yeah. Go ahead, open it.

>> Congratulations.

The bearer of this certificate is

entitled to the ultimate train

experience at the Nevada Northern

Railway. You are at the throttle. You

are the engineer. You are running the

locomotive.

This doesn't happen very often, but here

comes a hug.

>> OH DEAR, I HAVE TO TINKLE AGAIN.

>> OKAY, where were we?

>> Oh, well, isn't this nice?

>> What is it?

>> You know, it's uh it's ONE OF THOSE

NOPE. DOESN'T DO THAT.

>> OH, maybe it's candy. Lick it.

>> I don't want to lick it. You lick it.

>> I'm not going to lick it. I just brush

my teeth.

>> Is it from one of your dumb sci-fi

shows? Uh,

>> none of the sci-fi shows I watch or

dumb.

>> Sheldon.

>> Okay, Westworld. But this has nothing to

do with that show other than it's also

inexplicable.

>> Well, Leonard and Penny are our best

friends. They know us better than

anyone. They said it's the perfect gift.

We must be missing something.

>> You don't think it's a marital aid, do

you?

Would be silly, Amy. How is this big

glass shaft going to aid our marriage?

>> Hello. Hey,

>> I just wanted to pop over and handdel

this thank you note for your very

thoughtful wedding gift.

>> Oh, good. You guys liked it?

>> Yeah. Well, we liked it a lot more than

things that aren't it. I'll tell you

that.

>> Well, you know, that's great because

when we saw it, we thought Amy and

Sheldon just have to have that.

>> Oh, do tell. Now, paint a picture for me

like where you were when you found it

and what you thought we'd enjoy doing

with it.

>> Do you not know what it is? Of course he

knows what it is. Smartest man in the

world.

>> I don't know about the world. No, some

of those Chinese fellas are pretty

clever. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm

going to return home and use your gift

in the manner which it was intended.

>> He's never going to figure it out.

>> What are you?

>> Gosh, this makes me happy.

Penny. Penny. Penny.

>> What happens if I say come in? Huh?

>> Find out.

>> Come in.

>> Bernardet. Bernardet. Bernardet.

>> Come in.

>> Keep it up. I got nowhere else to be.

>> Just come in.

For future reference, if I want to watch

Mean Girls, I'll stream on Netflix.

>> We're sorry. What do you need?

>> Well, as you know, I'll be celebrating

Amy's birthday with her, and I could use

your assistance and helping me select

the perfect gift.

>> Sure.

>> Well, so far, I've come up with three

ideas. The first is a chance for her to

play the harp with the LA Philarmonic.

>> Wow, you can really arrange that.

>> Well, I said a chance. No. When you tell

them it's your birthday at Benigans,

they make a fuss. I don't see why the

Phil Harmonic would be any different.

How about something a little more

realistic?

>> Well, Amy enjoys knitting her own

sweaters, so I was thinking of getting

her an all expense paid trip to the

Wisconsin Sheep and Wool Festival.

>> Sorry, I was waiting for the bazinga.

>> Come on, it could be romantic. The two

of them away together, keeping each

other warm in snowy Wisconsin.

>> No, no, no, no. She'd be going alone.

But if you think I'm afraid of birds,

you see me around sheep.

>> Okay. Well, what's the third option?

>> Wait, that I have kitus with her.

>> Hey guys, before I forget, I got you a

little groomsman present.

>> Fantastic 4 annual number three from

1965 in mint condition. The one where

Mr. Fantastic and the invisible girl get

married.

>> Oh dear,

I was afraid of this.

>> What? What a thoughtful gift. This comic

book in this condition is worth at least

$100. Yeah. So, I bought you and

Bernardet a gravy boat worth $88,

which places me in your debt. And I

can't be in your debt because someday

you might ask me to help you move

or to kill a man.

>> I doubt he'll ask you to kill a man.

>> But what if it's his only way out? I

can't risk it.

Here is $12.

Now we're even. You wait. Wait. I bought

a card. Give me $2.

>> For the record, this is why I hate gift

giving.

>> I'm so glad you guys are friends again.

And

>> I'm glad you and I are friends again,

too. No. Oh, which reminds me. This came

in the mail and I want you to have it.

>> 50 cents off of Vagisil.

>> Think of me when you apply it.

>> Can I just say I've missed all of us

hanging out together?

>> Yeah, me too.

>> Um, since when can Pauly talk in front

of the girls without a beer?

>> Oh, that happened right after you left.

>> No one told me.

>> Can't believe we forgot to tell him.

Think of Sheldon when you apply it.

>> Hi. You guys got a minute?

>> Sure. What's up?

>> Well, I was thinking about Sheldon's

little joke the other night about me

eating all your food.

>> No, that was no joke. But I understand

your confusion as I am our group's

resident cutup.

>> I'm sorry. You are our resident cutup.

>> Yes.

Prove it.

>> Knock-k knockock.

>> Who's there?

>> Interrupting physicist.

>> Interrupting phys.

>> Anyway, I got a little residual check

from my commercial and I thought, hey,

how about I get the guys a little thank

you to pay them back. So, Sheldon.

Tada.

A vintage mint in box 1975 MIGO Star

Trek transporter with real transporter

action. Hot darn.

Where did you get that?

>> From Stuart at the comic book store.

>> You went to the comic book store by

yourself? Yeah,

>> it was fun. I walked in and two

different guys got asthma attacks.

>> Felt pretty good.

>> This calls for an expression of

gratitude.

>> Ooh, am I about to get a rare Sheldon

Cooper hug?

>> No, not this time. Then they wouldn't be

special. Thanks, Penny.

>> You're welcome.

Don't worry, I didn't forget about you,

Leonard. I got you a label maker.

Oh,

no. It's great. Also a minton box.

>> And I got YOU A TRANSPORTER, TOO.

>> AWESOME.

LOOK, it was actually designed FOR MY

VINTAGE MR. SPOCK ACTION FIGURE.

>> OH, THAT'S GREAT. LET'S open them up and

put them in there.

>> Oh, good lord. No.

>> Why?

>> They're just toys.

>> They're meant in box.

>> Come on. Can't we open one up and take a

look?

>> Once you open the box, it loses its

value.

>> Yeah. Yeah. My mom gave me the same

lecture about my virginity.

I

>> got to tell you, it was a lot more fun

taking it out and playing with it.

>> Amy, I'd like to apologize. Your

accomplishment was impressive and I'm

proud of you.

>> We both know that's your koala face.

>> I told you.

>> Okay, look. He bought you this

jewelry.

Seriously, Sheldon, you are the most

shallow, self-centered person I have

ever met. Do you really think that

another transparently manipul OH, IT'S A

TIARA.

A TIARA. I HAVE A TIARA. PUT ON ME. PUT

ON ME. Put on me. Put on me. Put on me.

Put on me. Put on me.

>> You look beautiful.

>> Of course I DO. I'M A PRINCESS AND THIS

IS MY

You're right. TR was too much.

>> Hey, Stewart.

>> Oh, hey Raj. What can I help you with?

>> I need to buy an engagement gift.

>> Well, you came to the wrong place.

>> It's for Sheldon and Amy.

>> No way. They're engaged?

>> Yeah.

>> That's exciting news. Who would have

thought Sheldon and Amy would be the

next two to tie the knot? Tell me about

it. I'm the one who caught the bouquet

at Leonard and Penny's wedding.

>> Okay. Uh, you know, they might like this

Superman and Wonder Woman. It's kind of

romantic.

You know what? Why am I buying them a

gift? They have love. Screw them and

their happiness. What do you have for

someone who's bitter and alone?

>> Literally everything.

They're my friends and I should be happy

for them. And and I'm trying, but all I

feel is this like knowing empty

sensation in my gut.

>> I had that once. Turned out it was a

tapeworm.

>> Cool. Uh

it's just

hard talking to my other friends about

this, but I knew you'd understand.

>> Why is that? because you and I are both

alone, which is actually kind of

comforting because at least we can be

alone together.

>> This is This is awkward. I um I was

actually going to close up a little

early tonight cuz I have a date.

>> Really?

>> Yeah.

>> Forgive me if I'm having trouble being

happy for you.

>> Don't be silly. I'm loving your pain.

>> You can't fix this with gifts.

Nevertheless, I've hurt you. And whether

you forgive me or not, I want you to

have this.

You're giving me a couch cushion.

>> No, the cushion is merely symbolic. I'm

giving you my spot on the couch.

>> But you love that spot.

>> No, I love my mother. My feelings for my

spot are much greater.

It is the singular location in space

around which revolves my entire

universe.

And now it's yours.

>> Oh my god, dude. Now you have to forgive

him.

>> All right. Apology accepted.

>> High five. Not too hard.

>> Thank you.

>> I haven't cried like this since Toy

Story 3.

I got to tell you, Sheldon, I understand

why you chose this spot. I mean, the

temperature is good, but there's no

draft. I can see the television, but I

can still talk to

>> I changed my mind. Get out of my spot.

>> How long?

>> 94 seconds.

>> Leonard will be back in a couple days. I

need a welcome home gift for him as he's

been at sea. Perhaps something with a

nautical theme might be appropriate.

>> Okay. Well, I don't know how much you

want to spend, but I do have this pretty

cool Aquaman statue.

>> Aquaman? This isn't a gag gift, Steuart.

>> Yeah, just as well. It's a pretty rare

piece. I'd rather just sell it to a real

collector. you. I'm a real collector.

How rare is it?

>> Oh, I shouldn't even have mentioned it.

How about a Batman squirt gun?

>> Don't try and trick me into buying

something I don't want. Now, let's talk

Aquaman.

$1,200. That's my final offer.

>> All right, Sheldon, you win. I'm sure

Leonard is going to love this.

>> Oh, right. A present for Leonard.

>> You better throw in that squirt gun.

Yeah. I don't know. This squirt gun,

it's uh it's pretty rare.

>> I don't see anything in here a woman

would want.

>> You're kidding. You've got lotions and

bath oils and soaps. That's the estrogen

hack trick.

What it is is a cacophinous assault of

eucalyptus, bayberry, cinnamon, and

vanilla.

It's as if my head were trapped in the

pajamas of a sultan.

Sheldon, if you don't like this stuff,

let's just go next door and build her a

bear.

I told you before, bears are terrifying.

Come on, bath stuff. It's perfect. You

got a scented candle, a cleansing buff,

spearmint, and green tea scented bath

oil promotes relaxation. I presuppose

this penny is tense.

>> No, she knows you. She's tense. We all

are my basket.

>> Excuse me. We're ready.

>> No, no, we're not. Let's say for a

moment that I accept the bath item gift

hypothesis. I now lay the following

conundrum at your feet. Which size?

This one. Let's go. You put no thought

into that.

>> I'm sorry.

This one. Let's go.

>> I have insufficient data to proceed. You

excuse me, miss? Yes. If I were to give

you this gift basket based on that

action alone and no other data, infer

and describe the hypothetical

relationship that exists between us.

>> Excuse me.

Here

now, are we friends, colleagues, lovers?

Are you my grandmother?

I don't understand what you're talking

about, and you're making me a little

uncomfortable.

See, sounds just like you and Penny.

We'll take it.

Great news, Leonard. I've solved my

penny gift dilemma.

>> Yippee.

>> You see, the danger was that I might

under or over reciprocate, but I have

devised a foolproof plan. I will open

her gift to me first and then excuse

myself feigning digestive distress. Then

I'll look up the price of her gift

online, choose the basket closest to

that value, give it to her, and then

I'll return the others for a full

refund.

>> Brilliant.

>> It is, isn't it?

Is it okay if I hide them in your room?

That smell makes me nauseated.

>> Do whatever you want.

>> Thank you. That's very gracious,

gentlemen.

Why couldn't you have just done what

Leonard did and get Penny a new

boyfriend?

>> I got you a little something.

>> A little something? Oh,

>> what? This is huge.

>> What's huge is what you've done for me.

Oh, no. Amy, I haven't done anything.

>> No, no. Before I met you, I was a mousy

wallflower. But look at me now. I'm like

some kind of downtown hipster party girl

with a posi boyfriend and a new lace bra

that hooks in the front of all things.

Open it. Open it. OKAY.

I wanted to get you something you didn't

have.

>> Wow. I I don't know what just Wow.

>> Do you like it?

>> Do I like it? Wow.

>> So, uh, where are you going to hang it?

>> Oh my god. HANG IT. WOW. UM, YOU KNOW,

I'D have to get a hook and nails and a

hammer and NO PROBLEM. OH, LOOK. YOU YOU

JUST YOU GOT IT ALL RIGHT THERE. WOW.

HOW'S THAT? A

>> little higher on the right

>> now. A little more. That's got it.

>> Yeah. Okay. That's uh that's good.

>> I'll let you in on a little secret.

Originally, we were painted nude,

but I had him add clothes cuz I thought

it was an unnecessary challenge to our

heterosexuality.

>> Yeah, good call.

But if you ever change your mind, all it

would take is some warm soapy water and

a couple of sponges.

>> You're talking about the painting?

>> Sure.

That's not the secret knock.

This is the secret knock.

What difference does it make? The whole

point of a secret knock is to establish

a non-verbal signal to verify the

identity of one's co-conspirators.

>> Is that Raj and Howard?

>> Possibly, but unverified.

Did

>> you just let us in?

>> Luckily for you, this is not a nuclear

reactor.

>> So, where'd you get the birthday boy?

>> Well, Raj got him an awesome limited

edition Dark Knight sculpture based on

Alex Ross' definitive Batman. And I got

him this amazing autograph copy of the

Fineman Lectures on Physics.

>> Nice. I got him a sweater.

Okay. Well, he might like that. I've

seen him get chilly.

Uh

>> Sheldon, I didn't see your present.

>> That's because I didn't bring one.

>> Why not?

>> Don't ask. The entire institution of

giftgiving makes no sense. Too late.

Let's say that I go out and I spend $50

on you. Well, it's a laborious activity

because I have to imagine what you need,

whereas you know what you need. Now, I

could simplify things. just give you the

$50 directly and then you could give me

$50 on my birthday and so on until one

of us dies leaving the other one old and

$50 richer

and I ask you is it worth it?

Told you not to ask.

>> Well, Shelon, you're his friend. Friends

give each other presents.

>> I accept your premise. I reject your

conclusion.

>> Try telling him it's a nonoptional

social convention.

>> Wait, what? Just do it.

>> It's a nonoptional

social convention.

>> Ah, fair enough.

>> He came with a manual.

>> So, we got everybody gifts.

>> Did you forget about us until you were

at the airport?

>> No, we forgot about you until we were on

the plane.

Luckily, there was Wi-Fi and I have

Amazon Prime.

>> Hi, Heart New York. A the baby's going

to love throwing up on this.

>> Look, it doesn't have to just be New

York. That's the beauty of it. Now, the

initials NY Y could stand for anything

you like. For instance, I understand

that there is an elderly rock and roll

musician named Neil Young. Perhaps you

heard him. Or, if not him, Egyptian

table tennis silver medalist Noha Yasri.

or Nanayy Yamaguchi, the Japanese voice

actress who starred in Sally the Witch.

>> Did you just Google the initials NY? I

had Wi-Fi and a long plane fly. Draw

your own conclusions.

>> Well, guys, that was very, very

thoughtful of you.

>> Did you get me a double XL? I told you

>> you were right, dear.

Key Vocabulary

Vocabulary	Meanings
farmers ˈfɑːrmərz A1	noun - people who work on farms
market ˈmɑːrkɪt A1	noun - a place where goods are bought and sold
thoughtful ˈθɔːtfl B1	adjective - showing consideration for others
certificate sərˈtɪfɪkət A2	noun - an official document stating a fact
entitled ɪnˈtaɪtəld B1	adjective - having the right to something
ultimate ˈʌltɪmət B1	adjective - being the best possible or most extreme
engineer ˌɛndʒɪˈnɪr A2	noun - a person who designs and builds complex systems
locomotive loʊˈkomoʊtɪv B1	noun - a railway engine that pulls trains
marital ˈmærɪtl B2	adjective - relating to marriage
aid eɪd A2	noun - help or support
thoughtful ˈθɔːtfl B1	adjective - showing consideration for others
engagement ɪnˈɡeɪdʒmənt B1	noun - a promise to marry
nautical ˈnɔːtɪkəl B2	adjective - relating to ships or navigation
appropriate əˈproʊpriət B1	adjective - suitable or proper in the circumstances
reciprocate rɪˈsɪprəkeɪt B2	verb - to respond to a gesture or action in kind

Key Grammar Structures

• Are you going to tell me where we're going?

  ➔ Future intention with "going to"

  ➔ The phrase ""going to"" expresses a plan or intention for the future.

• I don't want to go.

  ➔ Negative infinitive after a verb of preference

  ➔ ""don't want"" is followed by the infinitive ""to go"" to express refusal.

• I rented you the Batmobile for the day.

  ➔ Simple past with double object construction

  ➔ ""rented"" is the past verb; ""you"" is the indirect object and ""the Batmobile"" the direct object.

• Can't kill him. He'll just respawn at the last save point.

  ➔ Modal verb "can't" + infinitive; future with "will"

  ➔ ""Can't"" negates the ability to ""kill""; ""He'll"" is a contraction of ""he will"" indicating future certainty.

• If I want to watch Mean Girls, I'll stream on Netflix.

  ➔ First conditional (if + present simple, will + base verb)

  ➔ ""If"" clause uses the present simple ""want""; the result clause uses ""will stream"" for a realistic future action.

• Let's say for a moment that I accept the bath item gift hypothesis.

  ➔ "Let's" + base verb (suggestion) with a that‑clause

  ➔ ""Let's"" contracts ""let us"" and introduces a suggestion; the following "that" clause states the content of the suggestion.

• I have no idea why you’re talking about the painting?

  ➔ Indirect question with "why" + present progressive

  ➔ ""why"" introduces an indirect question; ""you’re talking"" is present progressive showing an ongoing action.

• Sheldon, if you don't like it, just give it back.

  ➔ Imperative sentence with conditional clause

  ➔ ""if you don't like it"" is a conditional clause; ""just give it back"" is the imperative command.

• I could have helped you, but I didn't.

  ➔ Modal perfect "could have" + past participle (unrealized past ability)

  ➔ ""could have helped"" expresses a past possibility that was not taken; ""didn't"" shows the negative outcome.