– English Lyrics

Lyrics & Translation

[English]

*coughing*

Good start

Hey guys! So, I'm back in England!

yayyy!

Why am I making that noise? I've got a sound effect for that

*yay sound effect*

So part of me was hoping that the Queen would be greeting me off the plane

with a freshly buttered crumpet in her hand but

alas, no

doesn't matter though because after eleven weeks

ten? eleven weeks?

A lot of weeks!

Im finally reunited with my actual bed!

I've missed this soo much

Beeeddddd

I got a bit too into that

Well, you would think I would enjoy my first night back in this bed but

NO

As about 4:00AM I was awoken by an ALMIGHTY CRASH from the kitchen

Whenever I hear a noise in the night I have this internal battle between

the terrified Phil who wants to survive

and a sleepy rational Phil that just wants to sleep.

It kinda when like this;

*CRASH*

Aaaa Im actually going to die, its a murderer!

Nah I'm sure it was just a pan falling over in the kitchen or something. Go back to sleep Phil.

It's a serial pan killer who kills people with pans from the kitchen!!

Nah, he'd have a catchier name than that like The Paninator

Okay, don't think about it, don't think about it! Rabbit, mongoose, alien mothership..

Just think about sheep

SHEEP IMPALERS

What does that even mean?

What if a murderer is eating our cereal right now?

Ookay, I should probably check this out

So, terrified Phil won. So I tiptoed through the house and peered into the kitchen to see...

A bird

A bird had flown head first into the glass and was having some kind of bird heart attack on the fire escape

I don't know why but birds are so much scarier at night! It looked like some kind of a flappy hell demon!

So, it was kind of flapping around. I don't think it was injured that much.

So, in my 4:00AM delirium, I though the best solution to this problem would be..

To poke it with a spatula!

Yes I poked the bird with a spatula! I didn't know what to do!

I mean theres no lessons at school about what to do if a bird flys into your fire escape at four in the morning

So, I thought the best thing to do would be to give it a little poke!

And, It worked!

It-I dunno if the bird was trolling me or something but as soon as this spatula-

Not this spatula, I mean I swapped the spatulas, I didn't wanna get rabies by flipping my pancakes-

But this spatula seemed to cure the bird!

Because as soon as I poked it, it just flew off into the sunset

Or the sunrise.. because it was 4:00AM

But, it-it healed.. Or it flew off somewhere to die... It was off my fire escape anyway!

Maybe I've got some kind of Jesus spatula power

aaaaa

Sorry if i just gave you rabies or something

So, speaking of things almost dying

a lot of you have been worried about the health of my house plants

and...

Err.. I did try to get my brother to come in and water them but he didn't do the best job

So, lets see how they're all doing!

Oh, you're looking a bit crispy and yellow!

Are you still breathing?

I mean this one looks pretty healthy- ow!

Oh no! Loki! what happened?

Its like he's trying to escape from the pot

Maybe he is trying to escape from the pot

*ominous music*

I mean, I never know whether this one is alive or dead anyway.. So lets just pretend its alive!

And this ones gone a bit wonky

Dan (behind camera): A-a bit wonky? Its like, the leaning tower of plant! Look at that

Now its got character!

Dan: Plant abuse.. Call the plant police

Dan: STOP THE NEGLECT!

Hey!

Ohhh no

Im sorry!

I mean, it looks pretty dire but these are healthy new shoots so if I just get these little babies to grow, I'll have a whole new plant by next year!

Or thats what Im hoping

Please come back to life!!

I think this only works with birds

♪ Soil on the bed! Soil on the bed!♪

♪ There is soil all over my bed!♪

For an actual three month trip I was quite restrained when it came to buying souvenirs. Be proud of me guys!

But i did get..

This Niagara falls mug which Im just crazy a-boot!

A snazzy Vegas magnet!

A tiny cactus candle from Texas!

At least Im meant to kill this one!

You will burn soon, my sweet

And as you can tell I got a bit overwhelmed at the gift shop in the space centre at Houston

I got this T-shirt..

A NASA mug which is out of this world

Essential NASA magnet

Some astronaut food! This is mint chocolate chip ice cream!

I think I've had this before

mmmm

Chalky!

Aahhhahgg

Its not actually that bad once you get over it sucking all the moisture out of your mouth!

And a NASA chris- AHH

And a NASA christmas ball ball!

Okay, this was one step too far..

Was it?

But someone who did get carried away with souvenirs was THIS GUY

Dan: Did somebody want to say something about my SNAZZY HAT! Oh yeah!

wow

Dan: Check this bad boy out

I cant believe you actually bought this!

Dan: Party on the front, Buisness down back!! Check that out! Gator Land!

Gator Land actually sell that hat

Dan: I am reping the Gator land T-shirt as well as you can see here

Now thats actually pretty cool

Dan: I enjoyed it quite a lot.

Dan: PHIL!

What?

Dan: Don't be sad! I know these guys are feeling bad for you because you don't have a swaggy hat

what is happening?

Dan: Well, Phil.. How would you feel, if I actually brought you a snazzy hat?

you got me a snazzy hat?

Dan: And never told you! Are you ready for this? Okay!

Oh my gosh

Dan: Phil, I present for you.. Your very own ..

Dan: Black light up fedora!

Dan: That is right

AMAZING!

Dan: Look at that piece of art!

Oh my gosh!

Dan: wow!

I actually love it!

Dan: Phil, you just look like a true gentle man right now. Give us- give us all a tip

M'lady

Dan: wow- that is just a-a thing of beau- thats the worst thing I've ever heard you say

Im so happy! Thank you Dan!

Im going to take this off for the rest of the video but-

Dan: Okay, just because of your hair and your vlogging right?

I promise I love it!

Dan: But you're gonna wear it everyday

yeah

Dan: when you're not filming this video, right?

yeah

Dan: Enjoy it guys!

Okay, bye!

So, I think that is enough for me today!

If you enjoyed this, please give it a big thumbs up!

And if you'd like, you can also subscribe by clicking here

And we also just made a new Sims video on Dan and Phil Games if you wanna go check that out

And if you've missed the train on these sims videos and you're like "I don't know whats happening!! I never watched the first episode!!!"

Well, do not worry my friend as I've made a handy playlist of all of our sims videos from the start

So if you click the link bellow you can watch those and binge watch them before the next video and you'll be completely up to date!

And it was lovely to talk to you guys again and I will see you very soon!

Goodbye!!

Key Vocabulary

Vocabulary	Meanings
crumpet /ˈkrʌm.pɪt/ A2	noun - a small, soft, slightly stale British tea‑time cake
almighty /ɔːlˈmaɪ.ti/ B2	adjective - having total power; omnipotent
terrified /ˈtɛr.ɪ.faɪd/ B2	adjective - frightened; extremely scared
rational /ˈræʃ.ə.nəl/ B2	adjective - based on reason or logic
killer /ˈkɪl.ɚ/ B1	noun - someone or something that kills adjective - extremely effective or impressive
impalers /ɪmˈpeɪ.lɚz/ C1	noun - people or devices that pierce something with a sharp point
cereal /ˈsɪr.i.əl/ A2	noun - a breakfast food made from processed grains
flappy /ˈflæp.i/ C1	adjective - characterized by rapid, uncontrolled wing movements
demon /ˈdiː.mən/ B2	noun - an evil spirit or supernatural being
spatula /ˈspæt.jʊ.lə/ C1	noun - a kitchen utensil with a broad, flat blade used for mixing or turning food
delirium /dɪˈlɪr.i.əm/ C1	noun - a disturbed state of mind characterized by confusion and hallucinations
cure /kjʊr/ B1	verb - to make someone or something healthy again noun - a remedy that restores health
sunrise /ˈsʌn.raɪz/ B1	noun - the time when the sun appears above the horizon in the morning
rabies /ˈreɪ.bi.ɪz/ C1	noun - a viral disease that affects the nervous system of mammals, causing aggression
wilt /wɪlt/ C1	verb - to become limp or drooping, especially from lack of water
ominous /ˈɒm.ɪ.nəs/ C1	adjective - giving the impression that something bad is going to happen
neglect /nɪˈɡlɛkt/ B2	verb - to fail to care for properly noun - lack of proper care
souvenir /ˌsuː.vəˈnɪr/ B2	noun - a keepsake acquired as a reminder of a place or event
astronaut /ˈæs.trə.nɔːt/ B2	noun - a person trained to travel in a spacecraft
mint /mɪnt/ A2	noun - a fragrant herb; also a flavor used in food and candy

Key Grammar Structures

• So part of me was hoping that the Queen would be greeting me off the plane with a freshly buttered crumpet in her hand but alas, no

  ➔ Past continuous (was hoping) + Modal verb (would) expressing a hypothetical situation.

  ➔ The sentence uses the past continuous to describe a thought process in the past. The 'would' indicates what the speaker *thought* would happen, but didn't. The 'alas, no' is a concise interjection expressing disappointment.

• Whenever I hear a noise in the night I have this internal battle between the terrified Phil who wants to survive and a sleepy rational Phil that just wants to sleep.

  ➔ Use of 'Whenever' as a subordinating conjunction introducing a time clause. Relative clauses ('who wants to survive', 'that just wants to sleep') defining the two 'Phil' personas.

  ➔ This sentence demonstrates complex sentence structure. 'Whenever' sets up a recurring condition, and the relative clauses provide detailed descriptions of the internal conflict.

• It kinda when like this; *CRASH*

  ➔ Informal language ('kinda') and use of onomatopoeia (*CRASH*) to represent sound.

  ➔ This is a very conversational style. 'Kinda' is a colloquial shortening of 'kind of'. The *CRASH* is a direct representation of the sound, enhancing the storytelling.

• What if a murderer is eating our cereal right now?

  ➔ Conditional sentence (Type 1) expressing a present or future possibility. Use of the continuous tense ('is eating') to emphasize the ongoing nature of the hypothetical action.

  ➔ This is a humorous example of escalating anxiety. The 'What if...' structure introduces a highly improbable scenario, and the continuous tense makes it feel more immediate and frightening.