– English Lyrics

Lyrics & Translation

[English]

[music]

[laughter]

Oh, look what happened. [laughter]

Huh? Check me out. I'm in my kitchen

naked.

Picking up an orange.

I'm naked. [laughter]

Lighting the candles

naked and carefully.

>> [laughter]

>> Oh my god, that's Rachel naked.

[laughter]

I can't look at that. I am looking at

this. Okay. Vivid colors, expressive

brush strokes, [laughter]

unless she wants me to be looking at

that.

She knows I'm home. She knows I can see

her. What kind of game is she playing?

[laughter]

I think maybe someone's lonely tonight.

[laughter]

Oh, Dr. Geller, stop it. You're being

silly. [laughter]

Or am I?

>> Oh, I miss you already.

>> Can you believe this happened?

>> No. No.

>> And yet it did.

>> Goodbye, Janice.

>> Kiss me.

Oh, Chandler. Sorry.

Oh, Chandler. Sorry.

[laughter]

>> Hey, Janice. Hi, Monica.

>> Okay. Well, this was very special.

[laughter]

>> Great. SHE COULDN'T SEE WHO'S OUT HERE.

WHAT'S going on? Oh my god.

Janice T.

>> Janice is gonna go away now.

>> [laughter]

>> I'll be right back. Oh,

Joey, look who it is.

>> Whoa.

[laughter]

>> Oh, good. Joey's home now.

>> This is so much fun. This is like a

reunion in the hall. [laughter]

>> Oh, hi Ross. Yeah, there's someone I

want you to say hi to.

>> He just happened to go.

>> Hello, Ross. Yes, that's right. It's me.

How did you know?

>> She's sweat. Wet. [snorts] Got it going

like a turbo vet.

>> So, fellas.

>> Yeah.

>> Fellas.

>> Yes.

>> Has your girlfriend GOT THE BUTT?

>> HELL YEAH.

>> SO, SHAKE IT.

>> Shake it.

>> SHAKE IT.

>> SHAKE IT. SHAKE THAT NASTY BUTT.

>> Baby got back.

>> One more time from the top. I like BIG

BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE. You are the

[laughter]

>> Rachel, please. That is so

inappropriate.

really think this is okay.

>> Well, Ross and Emily aren't going to use

it.

>> Oh, it's so beautiful.

>> Oh,

you know, I I don't know if I feel right

about this.

>> Oh, mama. Mink. [laughter]

This is the honeymoon suite. The room

expects sex.

The room would be disappointed if it

didn't get sex. All the other honeymoon

suites would think it was a loser.

>> [laughter]

>> Okay.

>> Okay,

>> Emily. Nope. Not under here.

>> Hey.

>> Hi.

>> So, did you uh did you tell Ross?

>> Well, I tried, but then he had a shampoo

related emergency.

So, I guess now it's your turn again.

>> No, no, no, no, no, no. I think it's

better if you tell him. You know, it's

easier for a woman. That way you know if

he gets mad, all you have to do is go. I

didn't mean it.

I'm I'm so sorry.

[laughter]

>> Yeah, cuz that's what we do.

>> All right. All right. Okay. Um how about

this? How about this? Tomorrow

>> Mhm.

>> Tomorrow we'll both go and we'll tell

them together.

>> Okay, that sounds fair. That just means

though once again.

>> I know. I know. That's okay. I mean, we

can control ourselves. We're not handm.

>> Of course, we can wait.

>> All right. So, I guess that means good

night then.

>> Yep. Good night.

>> Good night.

>> Good night.

Seriously, good night.

>> Stop saying good night. Okay.

>> I'm so sorry.

>> Hey,

>> was the show still on? Almost over, man.

Hey, Non. Oh, go. Is that the Pope?

>> Why am I looking?

>> Oh, look. Here I am. Look, this is my

big scene.

>> All right, back off. [laughter]

>> I got a gun.

I'm not afraid to use it.

>> Oh, Joey.

>> That's right, Lony.

>> You couldn't have at least changed your

shirt.

Now, I want a suitcase filled with

$100,000

[laughter]

filled with $100,000 in small bills. And

if I don't get

>> And if I don't get it,

I'm going to shoot this duck.

>> Oh, no.

>> I'm coming out.

And she supposed to buy this

>> Joey. Bravo.

>> Ground control to major.

Commencing countdown. Engines

on. [laughter]

[laughter]

That's uh scenes from next week's show.

Next week.

>> I am definitely going to watch that.

>> Do you not want to be seen with me?

>> What? No. Of of course I do. Are Are

they gone?

>> Uh, no. They're still here. But I think

I'm about to leave.

>> What? No. No. Wait. What?

You're right. This is stupid. Who cares

what people think? I mean, we we like

each other, right? There's nothing wrong

with that.

Come on,

>> Bert. Lydia, Mel, [laughter]

>> this is Elizabeth.

>> Hi.

>> Aren't you in my popular culture class?

>> That's right, Lydia. Elizabeth here is a

student and uh we're dating. And you may

frown upon that, but we're not going to

hide it anymore. [laughter]

You are so fired.

>> What? They're going to fire you. You

can't date a student. It's against the

rules. Really? It's not just frowned

upon.

>> Oh my god. Did you hear that? She said,

"Manica,

[laughter]

they can't leave her."

>> You know, if you want, we could sneak

the dog back in and Chandler wouldn't

even know. That's not going to work. I

had that dog there for 3 days and

Chandler had no idea. He's not so smart.

>> Hey, [laughter] I didn't know either.

>> Yeah, but you kind of knew that

something was going on, didn't you?

>> Yeah, I knew.

>> Hi, honey.

>> Please, please, please don't be mad at

me.

>> What? Why? Why would wait and see? Maybe

we will. Maybe we won't.

>> Okay. Okay. I went over to Ross's

apartment to bring back clunkers, you

know, for you. And I [clears throat]

left the door open and she must have

gotten out. And I looked everywhere all

over the apartment, including the roof,

which FYI, Ross, one of your neighbors

growing weed.

I couldn't find them. And I

[clears throat] am so so so

sorry. But I do know where we can all

go. EASE THE PAIN.

>> [laughter]

>> WE HAVE GOOD NEWS. LOOK WHO'S BACK.

>> HEY, [laughter]

LOOK. Oh my god.

>> That's right. She came back all by

herself. It's a Thanksgiving miracle.

[laughter]

>> It is so good to see you.

>> Yet, she came all the way back from

Ross's building. Oh, the things SHE MUST

HAVE SEEN.

>> [laughter]

>> AND THEN SHE CLIMBED UP the fire escape

and she tapped on the window with her

teeny little paw. And then we ran to let

her in. [laughter]

I went too far, didn't I?

>> Honey, you made the bed again. I told

you you don't have to do that. This

isn't camp.

>> Oh, then I guess the panty raid last

night was totally uncalled for.

[laughter]

Okay, I am going to take a shower and

today I will be singing Jim Crochy's

Leroy Brown.

Monica,

>> hey, I have a question. [laughter]

Is Leroy the baddest man in the whole

damn town or the fattest man in the

whole damn town?

>> Baddest. Otherwise, the song would be

fat fat. Leroy Brown,

>> what are you doing?

I'm just waiting for you, sweetie.

>> Are you remaking the bed?

>> I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You know what? The

way you did it, it was just fine.

>> Then you're redoing it because

>> if I tell you, you'll think I'm crazy.

>> You're pretty much running that risk

either way.

>> Okay. You see,

the debate tag shouldn't be at the top

left corner. It should be at the bottom

right corner.

>> Well, that's not so crazy.

>> I'm just easing you in.

>> All right.

>> All right. You see these little flower

blossoms? They should be facing up, not

down, because well, the head of the bed

is where the sun would be.

[laughter]

You don't love me anymore, do you?

>> Actually, if it's possible, I love you

more.

>> Really?

Wow. Well, then come on. I want to show

you how to fold a toilet paper into a

point.

>> Hey, I'm here.

>> Oh my god.

>> You like it?

>> Oh my god.

>> It's my new apothecary table. [laughter]

>> Rosie is going to be here any second.

She cannot see this.

>> Oh, why not? She'll She'll love it. It's

the real thing. I got it at Pottery

Barn. [laughter]

>> I know you did. I bought the same one.

And if she sees your table, she's going

to know that I lied to her. I told her

that ours was an original.

>> Why did you do that?

>> Because she hates Pottery Barn.

>> She hates Pottery Barn. [laughter]

>> I know. I know. She says it's all

mass-produced. Nothing is authentic. And

everyone winds up having the same stuff.

[laughter]

>> So, come on. She's going to be here any

second. Can we please just cover this up

with something, please?

>> What? No. No. I am not going to hide it

from Phoebe. Oh, although I did get some

great Pottery Barn sheets.

>> Oh. Oh, I forgot they made sheets.

>> Yeah,

[laughter]

I still can't believe she hates Pottery

Barn.

>> Ross, get over it. It's not like she

hates you.

>> Yeah, but Pottery Barn,

>> you know what? I think she's just She's

weird. You know, it's because she's a

twin. Twins are weird. [laughter]

>> Well, she's not weird. She just likes

her stuff to be one of a kind.

>> Huh?

>> You know what's not one of a kind? A

twin.

>> Hey.

>> Hey.

>> Oh, Phoebe's here. Okay. So, let's turn

out all the lights and we'll just watch

the movie.

>> Okay. Hey. Ooh, cool sheet.

>> Oh, you like it? You want to know where

I got it?

>> Sure. They got They GOT IT AT A FLEA

MARKET.

You bought your sheets at a flea market.

[laughter] Ross, come on. You got to

loosen the purse strings a little.

[laughter]

>> Hey babes, can you please not put your

feet up on my new

old sheet?

>> MY APOTHECARY TABLE.

>> WHAT? NO.

>> NO. ROSS, where did YOU GET THIS?

>> I GOT IT AT POTTERY BARN. OKAY.

OH MY GOD. Baby Pottery Barn has ripped

off the design OF OUR ANTIQUE.

>> WOW.

>> OH MY GOD. WELL, IF THEY'VE RIPPED OFF

OUR TABLE, ours must be worth much more

than $150.

>> Well, THIS DOESN'T EVEN SMELL like

opium.

>> Of course not. It smells like wine,

which you spilled. And thanks for

wrecking my sheet, by the way.

>> Oh, Ross, calm down. I'll give you the

80 cents.

She's asleep. That means we can uh

>> Yes, but we have to be fast.

>> Okay, I'll try.

>> And you can't make any noise.

>> Okay, I'll [laughter] try.

>> Hello, [crying]

Emma.

>> Hey. Hi.

How are you? How are you? Where are your

babysitters? Huh?

Why is the bedroom door closed?

[laughter]

>> You can't have sex when you're taking

care of the BA BIE.

>> Well, that was weird. You were loud and

I was fast.

>> [laughter]

>> I think you may have really done it this

time.

>> Or should I have to wait to take a

pregnancy test?

>> May want to get some more of those, too.

[laughter]

>> Where's Emma?

>> Oh my god. Where's Emma? Where's Emma?

>> Don't ask me. I was in there canoodling

you.

>> Okay. Okay. I'm sure that Rachel came

home early and picked up Emma. You go

look across the hall and and I'll call

herself.

>> Okay. Hey, you better hope that we're

pregnant because one way or another,

we're giving a baby back to Rachel.

>> All right, let's uh let's start with the

cons cuz they're more fun.

>> Rachel first.

>> I don't know. I mean, all right. I guess

you can say she's she's a little spoiled

sometimes.

>> You could say that. You know,

I guess, you know, sometimes she's she's

a little ditzy, you know, and I' I've

seen her be a little too into her looks,

but Oh, and like Julie and I, we have a

lot in common cuz we're both

paleontologists, right? But I mean,

Rachel's just a waitress.

>> Waitress.

Got it. You guys want to play Doom?

[laughter]

>> Or we can keep doing this.

[laughter]

>> What else?

I don't know.

Oh, her ankles are a little chubby.

[laughter]

>> Okay, let's do Julie. What's wrong with

her?

>> She's not Rachel.

>> Well, uh,

>> he broke up with Julie.

>> Well, go hug her for God's sakes.

>> Really? Really?

It's always been you, right?

God.

[applause]

>> Oh.

>> Oh.

Oh, this is good. This is really good.

>> I know. I know. It's It's almost

What do you say we go take a walk? Just

us, not them.

>> Let me get my coat.

>> Okay. No. Hey. Whoa. Whoa. I'll get your

coat.

>> Okay.

He's going to get my coat. He's going to

get my coat. Oh my god. [laughter]

This is unbelievable.

>> What's that?

>> What? Nothing.

What is that? It's on my name. What is

it?

>> No. No. See, see.

>> Hey, it's printing.

>> Hey, it's printing.

>> Well, what is it? Let me see.

>> Hey, someone order a coke.

>> Chandler wrote something about me on his

computer and he won't let me see.

>> He won't. He won't. He

>> Because Isn't that Isn't that the the

the the short story you were writing?

>> Yes. Yes, it is a short story that I was

writing

>> in a minute. Let me read it.

>> No,

>> come on.

>> Hey, uh why don't you read it to her?

[laughter]

>> All right.

[applause]

It was summer

and it was hot.

Rachel was there.

A lonely gray couch.

Oh, look. Cried Ned.

And then the kingdom was his forever.

The end.

That's it. That's all you wrote. You're

the worst WRITER IN THE WHOLE WORLD.

>> ALL RIGHT. All right. You know what?

This isn't funny anymore. There's

something about me on that piece of

paper, and I want to see it.

>> No, you don't.

>> All right. You know what? Fine. If you

guys want to be children about this,

that's fine. I do not need to see it.

What is this?

>> That is something that's

>> Ross. What is this?

>> Thank you. Well, good luck.

>> Okay, just just remember how crazy I am

about you. Okay.

>> Kind of ditsy. I'm too into her looks.

Spoiled.

>> Now that's a little spoiled. He was

supposed to type little the idiot.

just a waitress.

>> Now, that that was uh I mean, as opposed

to uh the um Okay, is is this over yet?

Ra,

>> I do not have chubby ankles. [laughter]

>> No, I

uh may I help you?

>> Yes. Hi. I talked to you on the phone.

I'm the lady who got stuck with the race

car bed.

>> Look, it's like I told you there's

nothing I can do. You signed for it.

Monica Felula Geller.

>> All right, Chester man. Look, we want to

see the king.

>> Nobody sees the king.

>> Okay, I'm talking to the king. Hey, you

can't go back there.

>> Oh my god.

Hey, watch it lady.

[laughter]

He good looking.

[laughter]

[laughter]

All right, I'll leave. My bed's so

boring.

Mona.

[laughter]

Okay. If I were a salmon shirt, where

would I be?

I am so sorry. I spilled wine all over

your shirt.

>> Oh, it's okay.

>> No, it's still wet. You know what? Let

me get it out before it sets. Oh, I have

something you can wear.

Here.

>> Oh, [laughter]

I don't know if I want to wear a woman's

shirt.

No, no, that that's a man shirt.

>> Awfully pink.

[music]

[laughter]

>> OH. [laughter]

>> [laughter]

>> Oh my god, Ross.

>> Hello,

>> Ros. What are you doing?

>> Not touching myself, if that makes

anyone less uncomfortable. Well, I just

called Joshua.

>> Oh, how'd it go?

>> Well, I did my best to convince him that

I'm not some crazy girl who is dying to

get married and I'm just going through a

hard time. What'd he say?

>> Well, uh, his answering machine was very

understanding.

[laughter]

[snorts]

>> I feel blue.

>> Hey, you know what might cheer you up?

What?

>> You know, I got to tell you, this really

does put me in a better mood. [laughter]

I wish there was a job where I could

wear this all the time. [laughter]

Maybe someday there will be.

>> Oh god, that's Chandler. He's going to

come by and borrow some candles for his

big date.

>> Oh, okay.

>> No, no, Rachel, don't get it. See us.

>> No. Yeah, the groom cannot see the

bride. You're not going to marry

Chandler.

>> Not after this. [laughter]

>> Okay, guys, just relax.

>> I do.

>> I got to go.

>> Yeah. Well, that ought to do it.

>> Hello. One marriage, please.

>> Yep. We'd want to get married.

>> Well, there's a service in progress.

Have a seat.

>> All right.

>> What are you doing?

>> Oh, that's the wedding march. Does Does

that freak you out?

>> No, only because it's the graduation

song.

>> [laughter]

>> Okay,

this is it. We're going to get married.

>> Are you sure you want to do this?

>> HELLO, MRS. BROCK.

>> WELL, HELLO, MR. RACHEL.

>> WAIT. OKAY.

>> What's your name?

>> [laughter]

>> It's Jake.

>> Joey.

>> Hey, Jake. Uh, do you like the Knicks?

>> Yeah, big fan.

>> Me, too. There's a game on Tuesday.

>> You want to go?

>> Yeah, that'd be great. Let me make sure

I'm not doing anything Tuesday.

[laughter]

>> Pet.

>> Hey,

>> listen. You know how uh when you're

wearing pants and you lean forward, I

check out your underwear?

>> Yeah.

Well, when Jake did it, I saw that he

was wearing women's underwear.

>> I know. They were mine.

>> Oh,

no. No, wait. That's weird.

>> No, it's not. We were just goofing

around and I dared him to try them on.

>> That's weird.

>> I'm wearing his briefs right now.

>> That's kind of hot.

>> I think so, too. And that little flap is

great for holding my lipstick.

[applause]

[laughter]

>> Yeah, I wouldn't know about that.

>> And you know Jake says that women's

underwear is actually more comfortable

and he loves the way the silk feels

against his skin.

>> Yeah. Well, next thing you know, he'd be

telling you that your high heels are

good for his posture.

>> There is nothing wrong with Jake. Okay.

He is all man. I'm thinking even more

than you.

>> Oh, yeah. He look like a real lumberjack

in those pink laces.

>> I'm just saying that only a man

completely secure with his masculinity

could walk around in women's underwear.

I don't think you could ever do that.

>> Hey, I am secure with my masculinity.

>> Okay, whatever.

>> You've seen my huge stack of porn,

right?

>> Hey, fees. Hey,

>> check it out.

>> Huh?

[cheering]

>> Hi.

>> How much of a man am I?

>> Wow. Nice. Manly and also kind of a

[laughter]

>> You know, I'm beginning to see what Jake

was talking about.

>> The silk feels really good.

>> Yeah. And and things aren't as smashed

down as I thought they were going to be.

>> It's great, Joe.

>> Yeah. And you have so many more choices

than you do with men's underwear.

Bikini, French cut, thong, and and the

fabrics. You got cotton, silk, lace, and

you know what? I've always wondered

about

>> panty hoes. You know, the way they start

at your toe and then they go all the way

up to [laughter]

>> I should go take these off, shouldn't I?

>> I think it's important that you do.

Listen,

uh not that I'm insecure about my

manhood or anything, you know, but uh I

think I need to hook up with a woman

like right now.

>> Yeah, I understand.

>> Yeah. Okay.

>> Hey. Hi.

>> Hi.

>> You know, you look familiar. Do I know

you from somewhere?

>> I don't think so.

>> Maybe it's because I'm on television.

>> [laughter]

>> I'm an actor on Days of Our Lives.

>> Wow.

>> Really?

>> Mhm.

>> 450, please.

>> Oh, let me get this.

[laughter]

>> These are for you.

>> This is us getting ready for the prom.

>> You know what, you guys? We don't have

to watch this.

>> Yeah, we do.

>> Fun. Smile.

>> Oh, Dad. Turn it off.

>> IT IS OFF.

>> DAD, IT IS NOT. WHAT'S WITH THE RED

LIGHT?

>> THAT'S THE OFF LIGHT.

>> RIGHT, BOSS.

[cheering]

[applause]

>> [laughter]

>> You look really pretty tonight.

>> Oh, thanks.

>> So, uh, what are you going to do this

summer?

>> Oh, you know, I'm just going to I'm

going to hang out, work on my music.

>> Does my hook unhook? These things keep

falling down. I can't.

[laughter]

>> Uh, hold. Let me see. I don't know. So,

what are you GOING TO DO?

>> NO, THE GUYS ARE here

>> this summer. Work on your music.

[laughter]

>> My own prom without a date. I can't.

It's too lame.

You know, if you're not going, then I

don't want to go either.

>> Oh, I'm going to kick Chip.

>> I have a wonderful idea. You should take

Rachel to the prom.

>> Doubtful. Jack, give me that. Talk to

your son.

>> This thing's heavy.

>> Your mother's right. Take her. She could

wear my tux.

>> Dad, she wouldn't want to go with me.

>> Of course she would. You're a college

man.

>> I don't know.

>> Come on. Don't you want to find out?

>> I can't believe I don't get to go to my

old prom. Is it so harsh?

Okay, hold my board.

>> A boy. At a board.

>> Okay, you guys. You know, I think we've

seen enough. Let's turn.

>> Okay, fine. Well, I'm not going to

watch. All right.

>> Come on, kid. Let's go.

>> Are you handsome?

>> Let's show him.

>> Just a sec, Dad.

Be cool. Just be cool.

Okay, Dad.

>> Rachel, ready or not, here comes your

night in shining.

>> Oh no.

>> BYE.

>> Oh dear. Jack, how do I turn this off?

>> Press the button.

>> Which one? Which button, Jack?

>> The button. The button.

I can't believe you did that.

>> Yeah. Well,

>> [cheering]

[music]

>> Look at you. All sweet and innocent,

sleeping like an angel with them chubby

little hands wrapped around you.

[laughter]

It's okay, Emma. You stay asleep.

[crying]

>> Step away from THE CRIB. I'M 11.

>> IT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY. RA, it's me. Put

down the scrunchie. [laughter]

>> What are you doing?

>> Well, I heard Emma stirring, so so I

came in to make sure she could reach

Hugsy.

>> Oh, thanks. All right. Well, now that

I'm up, I'm going to go to the bathroom.

>> Okay. There you go, sweetie.

This isn't over.

>> You already had it.

>> Yeah. Well, we called everyone in your

phone book and a bunch of people came,

but it took us so long to get you here

that they they had to leave.

>> We wanted to throw you a big surprise

and a great shower and and now you don't

have either.

>> We ruined everything.

>> Well, no, wait a minute. That's not

true. No, what you did that was really

sweet and it kind of works out for the

best.

>> What do you What do you mean? Well, now

I get to spend my shower with the only

people I really love. I mean, and I get

all those presents without having to

talk to a bunch of people I don't even

like.

>> Oh, surprise.

>> Monica,

>> you you've been quiet all morning. Is

everything okay?

>> Mhm.

>> You sure you're all right?

>> Yep.

>> Okay. Um, well, I'm going to go uh grab

us some breakfast.

>> FYI,

>> there it is.

>> In the future, when a girl asks for some

ill-advised sympathy sex, just do it.

[laughter]

>> Wait, wait. You're uh you're mad at me

about last night. I was just trying to

do the right thing.

>> Really? Well, it seems to me if you had

done the right thing, I would not have

woken up today feeling stupid and

embarrassed. I would have woken up

feeling comforted and satisfied.

[laughter]

>> Well,

>> oh, stop that.

>> I can't believe this. What? I I was just

being a good guy. I treated you with

with respect and understanding.

>> Oh, that is so hot.

>> Hey, I was looking out for you.

>> Oh, really? Well, Ross, you know what? I

am a big girl. I don't need someone

telling me what is best for me.

>> I got to say, I've not had sex a lot of

times before. This is the worst ever.

>> Oh, really? Really? Well, it wasn't very

good for me either.

>> Oh, okay. You know, hey, hey, you know

what? You know what? To avoid this

little thing in the future, let's just

say you and me never having sex again.

>> What?

>> That's right. Sex is off the table. I am

never having sex with you again.

[laughter]

>> Dr. Green, are you feeling better?

>> What's going on? Uh,

>> Phoebe's a porn star. [laughter]

>> What?

>> Phoebe Buffet in Buffet the vampire

layer.

>> My god,

>> that's Phoebe. Where did you get that?

>> Well, down at the adult video place on

Bleea. And And I saw Joey was about to

go in, so I ran in ahead of him to to

surprise him. And and then then I

pretended that I didn't know he was in

there. [laughter]

>> Wow. I mean, I just can't I can't

believe this, you know? I mean, you

think you know someone, even even

Phoebe, who's always been somewhat of a

question mark. [laughter]

>> This is so bizarre.

I guess it kind of makes sense, though.

She, you know, she had such a terrible

childhood.

>> I had a terrible childhood and I don't

do porn.

Yes, but you're dead inside.

>> Well, I better take that back.

>> Why? Why?

>> I can't wash that. I mean, that's

Phoebe.

>> Yeah, you're right. We can't We

shouldn't watch this.

>> Absolutely not.

>> Fo, maybe a little bit. How about just

the first half?

>> Hey, no. This is wrong, YOU GUYS.

PHOEBE'S OUR FRIEND. WELL, I'M not going

to watch it.

>> Yeah, good for you, Joe.

>> [laughter]

>> Ah, I thought I'd find you here. N

foratul.

[laughter]

Are you going to plunge your steak into

my dark places?

>> Actually, I was kind of hoping it would

be the other way around.

[laughter]

>> Hold on a second. What is that on her

ankle?

>> Her ankle is what you're watching.

>> Well, it's hard to tell.

[laughter]

>> Oh gosh, she just stopped moving.

>> Just doing her job. [laughter]

>> You sick bastard.

>> It's a tattoo. That's weird. Phoebe.

>> Oh,

>> wait. That's Ursula. That's not Phoebe.

That is Ursula.

>> I CAN WATCH THAT. REWIND IT. REWIND IT.

HEY. OH, what's up? OH MY GOD, WHAT AM I

DOING?

>> What are you? Hi.

[laughter]

>> Well, what are you doing here? I'm I'm

supposed to pick you up.

>> Change of plans. I made you a special

Valentine's dinner. Surprise.

>> Hi.

>> Oh, hey, Mona. Hi. Hi. Hi, Rachel.

What's she doing here?

>> I have no idea.

[laughter] Um, I'll be watching TV if

anybody needs me.

>> Seriously, what is she doing?

>> Uh, you know, lately she just likes

hanging out here. [laughter]

>> Why?

>> I think she's lonely.

>> Okay, but it's Valentine's Day. Can't we

just ask her to go?

>> Well, no. No, she's way too emotional.

And by emotional, I mean crazy.

>> I'm not here. That's just my Chinese

food.

>> Oh my god, she has food delivered here.

>> Yes, she's she's emotional but but

ballsy.

>> You know what I'm going to do? I'm going

to get in my sweats and eat this in bed.

[laughter]

>> And you thought she was going to be in

our way. [laughter]

>> So, okay, why don't you uh open the

champagne and I will be right back. I've

got a surprise for you. You got another

ex-wife back there?

>> What am I sitting on?

>> Top of the world. Dock of the bay.

[laughter]

>> I'm out.

>> Oh, yeah. Wendy's. Oh,

>> all right. Whose are they?

>> Whose are they?

>> Not mine.

>> Well, they're Joey's. They got TO BE

JOEY'S. [laughter]

YEAH, THEY'RE MINE.

>> SEE, Joy's the Joey Joies.

>> Why are they here?

>> I don't know. Uh,

I'm Joey.

>> Yeah, I'm disgusting. I take my

underwear off in other people's homes.

>> Well, get him out of here. What's wrong

with you?

>> YEAH.

>> YEAH.

TAKE THEM.

>> JOEY, you can touch them. They're your

underwear.

>> Chandana, a word.

>> That's it. I'm tired of covering for you

two. This has got to stop.

Ah!

Ooh, NICE.

My god.

[laughter]

>> What do you think you're doing?

>> Just washing the windshield.

>> There is no way I am letting you drive

this car. So, why don't you just hand

over the keys?

>> Oh, well, I do do not start this car.

>> [laughter]

>> Okay. Okay. I will give you 20 bucks if

you get out of this car right now.

[laughter]

>> Look, Ross, if you're so freaked out,

just get in the car

>> with you. Yeah, right.

>> All right.

>> Okay. Okay. Okay. [laughter]

>> What are you doing? Get in the front.

>> In the death seat.

>> Oh.

Fine, you can have the bath, but I am

taking your boat now. You're just a girl

in a tub.

[laughter]

>> Hey.

>> Hi, Bubbles. Manly.

>> Well, I just thought I would drop by and

let you know how it went with Joey.

>> You told her. [laughter]

>> She pulled it out of me. She's like a

conversational wizard. [laughter]

>> How did it go?

>> Well, you were wrong. He doesn't like

me.

>> What? Yeah. How would you like it if I

sent you to Lee Major's house and I told

you that he liked you and you went down

there and you found out that he didn't

like you? How would you feel?

[laughter]

>> I don't think I'd care. Really? Lee

Major is hot.

>> Hello.

>> We're in the bathroom.

[laughter]

>> Why?

>> Because it's a relaxing and enjoyable

time. [laughter]

>> What are you guys doing in here?

Oh my god. A friend he's looking at

differently,

but it's wrong. It's Rachel.

>> You like Rachel?

>> Hey, look. It's no big deal, okay?

Phoebe and I talked about it. It's just

a crush. It's going to go away. Dude,

you got to rearrange your bubbles. Whoa.

[laughter]

>> Hey. Hey. Hey.

>> Ros and I were looking for you. What are

we all doing in here?

>> [laughter]

>> Oh my.

Honey, cover it up with the vote.

[laughter]

Everybody else, finally, we can start

celebrating my

I'm sorry. Apparently, I've opened the

door to the past.

[music]

>> Okay. Uh, Monica. Man. Okay. What? What

you just saw?

>> Can I ask you just a little question?

Why tonight?

What? See, I've been waiting my whole

life to be engaged. And unlike some

people, I only planning on doing this

once.

So, you know, maybe this is selfish and

I'm sorry about it, but I I was kind of

hoping tonight could just be about that.

>> Oh, honey. But it is. No, it's not. No.

No. Now it's about you and Ross getting

back together.

>> What?

>> Yeah. Um, you kind of stole my thunder.

>> Okay. Ho ho. We did not steal your

thunder because we are not getting back

together.

>> Yeah. No. And and and you know what?

Nobody even saw.

>> Yeah,

>> that's true.

>> I swear we just kissed.

>> It was just a kiss.

>> You guys kissed.

>> WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?

>> ARE YOU ARE YOU GETTING BACK TOGETHER?

CAN I sing at your wedding? [laughter]

>> Thunder being stolen.

>> Okay, come on, baby. It's nothing.

>> Let's not make a big deal out of this.

It was a onetime thing. It doesn't even

matter.

>> Oh my god.

[laughter]

I cannot believe you guys are talking

about this. The problems in the bedroom

are between a man and a woman.

>> All right. NOW, CHANDLER IS DOING THE

BEST HE CAN.

[applause]

>> Good job, Joe. Well done. Top notch.

>> You liked it? You really liked it? Oh,

yeah. [laughter]

Which part exactly?

>> The whole thing. Here we go.

>> No, no, no, no. Give me some specifics.

I love the specifics. The specifics were

the best part.

>> Hey, what about the scene with the

kangaroo? Did you Did you like that

part?

>> I was surprised to see a kangaroo

[laughter]

in a World War I epic.

You fell asleep.

There was no kangaroo. They didn't take

any of my suggestions.

[laughter]

[applause]

>> Thanks a lot for coming, buddy. See you

later.

>> Don't go. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Look,

this guy fell asleep. He fell asleep,

too. Be mad at him.

>> Hello.

Can I get you anything? Huh? Lens

cleaner. [laughter] Your battery. Okay,

>> Ross.

>> Hi.

>> Thank god you're here. You have to help

me. Were you just talking to yourself?

>> That's less embarrassing. Yes. Yes, I

was.

>> So, when she came in, I got distracted

and totally forgot about the camera. It

kept rolling and recorded everything.

>> Yeah, we're going to need to see that

tape.

>> Wanted to

>> interesting.

>> [laughter]

>> Anyway,

um probably worked out for the best.

>> Yeah, sure.

>> Okay. In about 10 seconds, you're going

to see him kiss me.

>> And in about 5 seconds, you're going to

see why.

>> Ross, did I ever tell you about the time

that I went backpacking through Western

Europe? [laughter]

>> [laughter]

>> Hey, get ready to see some begging.

>> OH, YOU CAME ON to Ross. [laughter]

>> What?

>> Now I'm so happy.

>> What are you talking about?

>> You use the Europe story.

>> That's the magic story you use when you

want to have sex. [laughter]

>> How do you know about that story? How do

you know about that story? [laughter]

>> I heard it from my friend Irene who

heard it from some guy.

>> Some guy. [cheering]

[applause]

>> No. No. She told me that his name was

Ken Adams. [cheering]

>> Jer, I saw what you were doing through

the window. I saw what YOU WERE DOING TO

MY SISTER. NOW GET OUT OF HERE.

[laughter]

LISTEN, we had a good run. You know,

what was it? Four, five months. I mean,

that's more than most people have in a

lifetime. So, goodbye. Take care.

Bye-bye then.

>> What are you doing?

>> Oh, I'm going on the lamb. [laughter]

>> Come on, Chandler. Come on. I can handle

Ross.

Hold on.

>> Hey, Ross. What's up, bro? [laughter]

What

the HELL ARE YOU DOING?

>> OKAY. What's What's going on?

>> Well, I think I think Ross knows about

me and Monica. [laughter]

>> Dude, he's right there.

[laughter]

>> I thought you were my BEST FRIEND. THIS

IS MY SISTER. My best friend. And my

sister. I I cannot believe this.

>> Look, we're not just messing around. I

love her, okay? I'm in love with her.

I'm so sorry that you had to find out

this way.

Sorry, but it's true. I I love him, too.

>> My best friend and my sister.

>> Hey, Rachel. Somebody got your shoes.

Oh, give me

[screaming]

>> Oh my god.

Oh, these are my rat babies. [laughter]

>> Yeah, we have rat babies now.

>> You brought rats to my birthday party.

So, this is what a stroke feels like.

[laughter]

>> I had to bring them. We killed their

mother. They're our responsibility now.

You know, they require constant care.

You should know that, Rachel. You're a

mother.

>> Are you comparing my daughter to a rat?

>> No. Seven rats.

[laughter]

>> I think we should take them home. We

need to feed them. Why? You're going to

leave my party to take care of a box of

rats. Well, I'm sorry, Rachel, but I'm

not like you, okay? Not everyone can

afford health.

[music]

>> Got to go. Miss you, too. I love you,

but it's getting real late now.

>> Hey, ma. Listen. I made the appointment

with Dr. Baza, and

>> Excuse me.

>> Did you know this isn't ma? [laughter]

Her name's Ronnie.

She's a pet mortician. Sure. [laughter]

>> So, how long you've been?

>> Remember when you were a little kid? I

used to take you to the Navyyard and

show you the big ships

>> since then.

>> No, it's only been 6 years.

>> I just wanted to put a nice memory in

your head so you'd know that I wasn't

always such a terrible guy.

Joe, you ever been in love?

I don't know.

>> Then you haven't. You're burning your

tomatoes. Huh?

>> You'll want to talk.

>> Joe, your dad's in love big time. And

the worst part of it is it's with two

different women.

>> Oh, man. Please tell me one of them is

Ma.

>> Of course. Of course. One of them is ma.

What's the matter with you?

>> Good one.

>> Hey, Joe. Dad. Ronnie's here. Huh? Hi.

>> Hey.

>> Hey.

>> Hello, babe. [laughter] Uh, what what

are you doing here?

>> Oh, uh, well, you left your good hair at

my apartment. I figured you need it

tomorrow for your meeting. [laughter]

>> Thank you. Um,

>> so, who's up for a big game of Kplunk?

[laughter]

>> Look, I uh I I shouldn't have come. I I

better get going. I don't want to miss

the last train.

>> No, no, hun. I I don't want you taking

that thing to swing this.

>> Oh, where am I going to stay? Here.

>> Wo ho.

>> We'll go to a hotel.

>> Go to a hotel.

>> No, you won't.

>> No, we won't.

>> If you go to a hotel, you'll be doing

stuff. I want you right here where I can

keep an eye on you.

>> You're going to keep an eye on us.

>> That's right, mister. And I don't care

how old you are. As long as you're under

my roof, you're going to live by my

rule.

>> What is that?

>> I think it's the dying cat parade.

>> Sounds like it's coming from across the

street.

>> Oh my god.

>> What?

>> You know that thing that Ross was going

to do at our wedding? He was hanging out

with me yesterday and he turned to me

and he said, "You're half Scottish,

right?"

>> No. There is no way to not [laughter] be

Ross. [music]

>> Why is your family Scottish?

>> Why is your family Ross?

>> You cannot play our wedding. I mean,

everyone will leave. I mean, come on.

That is just noise.

It's not even a song.

If

>> you listen very carefully, I think

it's Celebration by Cool in the Gang.

>> Well, I feel like a snack.

>> Do you want some shortbread? It's

Scottish like you are.

>> Oh, no thanks. I don't like anything

from my Scottish heritage. What?

[laughter]

Well, just my entire family was run out

of Scotland by

Vikings.

>> Well, it sounds to me like your family

is ready to uh rediscover its Scottish

roots.

>> You can't play bag pipes at the wedding.

[laughter]

>> How did you know about that?

>> We heard you play all the way from your

apartment.

>> Were you the ones who called the cops?

>> Hello?

Hello,

[laughter]

>> baby.

>> Joey, what's going on?

>> What?

>> Oh my god.

>> I know. It's stuck.

>> STEP. HOW DID IT GET ON?

>> I put it on to scare Chandler.

>> Oh my god. Monica's going to totally

freak out. Well, THEN HELP ME GET IT

OFF. PLUS, WELL, it smells really bad in

here.

>> Of course it smells really bad. You have

your head up a dead animal.

>> Oh,

[laughter]

hey.

>> Hey, did you get the turkey, B? OH MY

GOD. OH MY GOD.

>> Who is that?

>> It's Joey. [laughter]

>> What? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? IS THIS

supposed to be funny?

>> No, it's not supposed to be funny. It's

supposed to be scary.

[laughter]

>> Get that OFF NOW.

>> I CAN'T. It's stuck.

>> I DON'T CARE THAT THAT TURKEY has to

feed 20 people at my parents house and

they're not going to eat it off your

head. [laughter]

>> Hold on. Okay, let's just I'll think.

Wait for me.

>> It was a mistake. I made a mistake.

Okay,

>> a mistake. What were you trying to put

it in? her purse.

[laughter]

>> Where? Where did he put it?

>> Ros, you had sex with another woman.

>> Oh my god.

>> Oh god. I knew something had to be wrong

because my fingernails did not grow at

all yesterday.

>> Yeah. Well, I guess they had a fight and

he got drunk.

>> Oh, you guys knew about nothing and you

didn't tell us.

>> He had sex and we get hit in our heads.

>> You know what? I want you to leave. Get

out of here. Just get out.

>> No, I know. I want to stay. I want to

talk about this.

>> Okay. All right. How was she?

>> Uhoh.

[laughter]

>> What

>> was she good?

>> Don't answer that. [laughter]

>> I know. She said you wanted to talk

about it. Let's talk about it. How was

she?

>> She was awful.

>> She was not good. Not good. Didn't

compare to you.

She She was different. Oh.

>> Uhoh.

>> Good. Different.

>> Nobody likes change.

[laughter]

>> Should we do something?

>> Yeah. Never cheat on Rachel.

[laughter]

>> I'm sorry. Okay. I'm sorry. I I was

disgusted with myself and then this

morning I was so I was I was so upset

and then I got your message and I was so

happy and all I wanted was to get her

out of my apartment as fast as possible.

>> What time did your little friend leave?

>> Oh my god. She was there.

>> She was still there. She was in there

WHEN I WAS IN THERE.

ask you.

>> Listen. Oh, hey. Hey, the important

thing is she meant she meant nothing to

me.

>> And yet, SHE WAS WORTH JEOPARDIZING OUR

RELATIONSHIP.

>> LOOK, I didn't think there was a

relationship to jeopardize. I thought we

were broken up.

>> We were on a break.

>> That, for all I knew, could last

forever. That to me is a break up.

>> You think you're going to get out of

this on a technicality?

>> I'm not trying to get out of anything,

okay? I thought our relationship was

dead. Well, you sure had a hell of a

time at the wake.

>> You know what? I don't think we should

listen to this anymore.

>> What are you doing? I can't go out

there.

>> Why not? I'm hungry.

[laughter]

>> Because they'll know we've been

listening. God, I'd have to hear about

it from Gunther.

>> Come on. Like I wanted him to tell you,

I ran all over the place trying to make

sure that didn't happen.

>> Oh, that is so sweet.

I think I'm falling in love with you all

over again.

>> You know what? I think we can go out

there. I mean, they have more important

things to worry about.

>> Yeah, we'll be fine.

>> Look, Rachel, I wanted to tell you. I

thought I should. I I did. And then

Chandler and Joey convinced me not to.

[laughter]

>> Wax the door shut. We're never leaving.

Key Vocabulary

Vocabulary	Meanings
naked /ˈneɪkɪd/ B2	adjective - without any clothes on
vivid /ˈvɪvɪd/ C1	adjective - producing powerful feelings or strong, clear images in the mind
expressive /ɪkˈsprɛsɪv/ B2	adjective - effectively conveying thought or feeling
lonely /ˈloʊnli/ A2	adjective - sad because one has no friends or company
inappropriate /ˌɪnəˈproʊpriət/ B2	adjective - not suitable or proper in the circumstances
emergency /ɪˈmɜːrdʒənsi/ B1	noun - a serious, unexpected, and often dangerous situation
reunion /ˌriːˈjuːniən/ B2	noun - an organized gathering of people who have not seen each other for some time
control /kənˈtroʊl/ A2	verb - to determine the behavior or supervise the running of
suitcase /ˈsuːtkeɪs/ A2	noun - a large case for carrying clothes while traveling
countdown /ˈkaʊntdaʊn/ B2	noun - the act of counting numbers backward to zero
authentic /ɔːˈθɛntɪk/ C1	adjective - of undisputed origin; genuine
masculinity /ˌmæskjəˈlɪnəti/ C2	noun - possession of the qualities traditionally associated with men
sympathy /ˈsɪmpəθi/ B2	noun - feelings of pity and sorrow for someone else's misfortune
embarrassed /ɪmˈbærəst/ B1	adjective - feeling shame or awkwardness
bizarre /bɪˈzɑːr/ B2	adjective - very strange or unusual

Key Grammar Structures

• I like big butts and I cannot lie.

  ➔ Modal verb of inability

  ➔ "Cannot" expresses the inability to perform an action (in this case, lying).

• I don't know if I feel right about this.

  ➔ Embedded question with 'if'

  ➔ "If" is used here to introduce an indirect question or a state of uncertainty.

• I'm not afraid to use it.

  ➔ Adjective + infinitive complement

  ➔ The infinitive "to use" functions as a complement following the adjective "afraid".

• You can't date a student.

  ➔ Modal verb for prohibition

  ➔ "Can't" indicates that dating a student is against the rules.

• I'm just easing you in.

  ➔ Phrasal verb

  ➔ "Easing in" means to introduce someone to something gradually.

• I wouldn't know about that.

  ➔ Conditional 'would' (hypothetical)

  ➔ "Wouldn't" is used to politely distance the speaker from a hypothetical situation.

• I've not had sex a lot of times before.

  ➔ Present perfect tense

  ➔ "Have not had" describes an experience spanning from the past up to the present.

• It's always been you, right?

  ➔ Tag question

  ➔ "Right?" is added to the end of a statement to ask for confirmation or agreement.