– English Lyrics

Lyrics & Translation

[English]

[Music]

Haven't you heard? Snipes posting the

test scores. I wonder who will have the

top score.

Like it could be anybody but you,

Cassandra.

>> Brains and looks. How do I do it?

>> Woohoo! I didn't fail the math test.

Margo, 23 is an F. Never was good with

numbers.

>> Hey,

no way.

Harvey got 97 and I got 96.

How dare he get a better grade than me?

>> That's so not fair. Tragic, even.

>> It doesn't add up.

>> Well, yeah, but we still ought to be

happy for Harvey. Am I right?

I hear he cheated on the test. Cheated?

Really?

>> That's so unlike Harvey.

>> I can't wait to tell Rachel.

>> I'll tell Millie to tell Liz after she

tells Tabitha not to tell Sally.

>> You got to be kidding, Cassandra, not

Harvey. Well, that's what they say. And

why would they say it if it wasn't true?

>> Oh, yeah. Why would they

>> want to hear what I heard?

>> Harvey totally cheated on the math test.

>> Stole all the answers. Used dynamite to

blast a hole in the school wall. broke

into Snip's office in the middle of the

night.

>> Tiffany, did you hear? The cops are

looking for Harvey and so is the FBI,

CIA, PTA, and the Bulgarian secret

police. Where'd you hear that?

>> Hey, Bina, how did you do on the math

test?

>> Not as well as Harvey.

>> Yeah, but didn't you hear? He cheated.

>> Yeah, I heard that, too. The whole

school's talking about it.

>> I guess they can't all be wrong.

>> Oh, sure. Keep the cat waiting. His

needs are unimportant. Where is she?

It's 3 minutes past my snack time. Oh,

I'm wasting away before my eyes.

Practically all fur and bones.

Yes. Not a moment too soon.

>> Hi, Sabrina.

>> Roll already. Huh?

>> Yeah.

>> What are you talking about?

>> It's not fair to the rest of us when you

cheat on tests.

>> What? Where'd you hear that?

>> It's what they say.

>> Who's they?

>> You know them? Those that say things?

>> H.

And you believe them without asking me?

Well, they are in the majority.

>> Thanks a lot, Sabrina.

>> Harvey, why are you mad at me?

>> Maybe because you were repeating rumors

you shouldn't have.

>> Hey, everybody was saying it.

>> Everybody?

What do they know? That's how rumors

work. Enough people spread them. Nobody

knows what's true and what's not. You

hear a rumor, Brea, you squash it. You

don't and they take over.

Be sure what you say is the truth and

nothing but. Remember, the truth will

set you free.

>> You're right, Salem. What should I do?

>> First thing tomorrow morning, you're

going to apologize. Now, let's practice

begging forgiveness while you get my

treat.

[Music]

Sabrina looks so good today.

>> Her hair is so gorgeous.

>> Of course, you know she dyes it.

>> You don't say.

>> She just did.

You believe what I just hear. She She

dies her hair. I know. I can't believe

[Music]

>> Harvey.

>> I heard You heard what?

>> You had a total hair transplant, but

your scalp rejected it. So, you had a

plastic wig implanted in your head.

>> You can hardly tell it's fake. Can I

touch it? Seems almost real.

>> It is real. I can't believe you believe

that.

>> Well, for the record, I think your hair

looks very natural.

>> It is natural.

>> Oh, right. Why would anybody say such a

thing? I don't understand.

>> Sabrina, there's only one sort of person

who starts a rumor, and that's a very

unhappy person who wants others to be as

unhappy as they are.

>> But I don't get it. Why? How? Where do

rumors come from?

>> From the rumor mill.

>> Yeah, right. Uh-huh.

I'm totally serious. So are we. Totally.

It's in the gray area, Sabrina, in the

Nether World. A very old mill that makes

rumors. We tried to get it shut down for

years, but it keeps cranking them out.

>> Is there any way to stop a rumor?

>> Only with the truth. The truth will set

you free.

>> Gee, where did you hear that before?

[Music]

Did you hear about Marita?

>> Her parents are immigrants from outer

space.

>> That's what they say. Time to find out

who this they is.

>> I heard it from Glattus.

>> Elwood told me.

>> Sally said it. It's got to be true.

Cassandra told me it was.

>> You started spreading all these rumors.

You went to the rumor mill, didn't you?

>> Me spread rumors? How sad is that? I've

never even heard of a rumor mill.

>> Oh, okay. If you say so.

>> Sabrina's been weird since her twin

sister was sent to reform school. Maybe

it's time Cassandra got a taste of her

own medicine.

[Music]

A

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

the rumor mill. I'm going to teach

Cassandra a lesson she'll never forget.

>> Hello.

>> What do you want?

>> Do you work here?

>> Why? Hi. What have you heard? I I'm the

keeper of the mill and I'm the one who

makes this place run.

Don't touch that. Do you want to start a

rumor?

>> Well, yeah, I do. Sort of. Just one

harmless rumor.

>> What do you mean harmless? There's no

such thing as a harmless rumor.

>> Come here. Let me show you something.

What are those things?

>> Big ones and little ones and long ones

and short ones. Spicy, dicey, not very

nicey ones. Young ones, old ones, hot

and cold ones.

>> Why are they in there?

>> Well, you got to put them somewhere.

They get out. They spread like wildfire.

>> Why do you keep them?

>> I got no choice. Rumors live forever.

People start rumors, but they don't take

responsibility for them. So, I'm stuck

with them. Rumor mill? What's that?

Where? Well, I'll be right there.

I got a rumor gone bad. Out of control.

Feel free to look around, but don't

touch anything. Especially not that

there.

Couldn't

hurt to start just one little rumor.

Only one.

[Music]

Did you hear Cassandra lies about her

age?

>> You don't say.

>> Just a rumor.

>> How perfect is that?

Maybe just one more quick one.

[Music]

>> You hear the 411? Cassandra has a birth

mark shaped like an Irish setter and an

Irish setter shaped like a birth mark.

>> No,

>> that's what they say. Cassandra was

raised by wolves.

This I got to see.

>> Come on, fellow rumors. We got the

threatening to do.

>> Sabrina,

>> did you hear? Hear what?

>> Cassandra's flunking out of PE.

>> And you won't believe what kind of

birthmark she has. I'll give you a clue.

I do not have false teeth.

If you had anything to do with this,

>> Cassandra, do you think I would spread a

rumor? How sad is that?

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

Switch to ugly rumors.

I got a nasty one. So do all of us. What

are we waiting for? Let's spread some

dirt.

[Applause]

[Music]

So, you think I dress like a colorblind

clown,

>> but I and I dance like a two-legged cow,

>> but I

behind my back.

>> Why are you getting rid of me and

getting a dog?

>> Hold on a minute. I don't know where you

heard any of this, but they're just

rumors.

>> My heavens. What's going on?

>> What are those things? More important,

do they eat cats?

>> Rumors. Ugly ones, too. Looks like the

rumor mill's been working overtime.

>> Oh, no. Sabrina, you didn't. Did you?

>> She did.

>> Did you hear? Salem said Hilda's got the

world's baddest breath.

>> I meowed no such thing.

>> Zelda can't stand Hilda's meatloaf.

>> That's not true. I think your loaf is

very tender.

>> Sabrina,

>> hey, you're the one who set us free. Let

me thank you by giving you some inside

dish. There's something big going on

over at the mall.

>> What? What do you mean?

>> Hey, I don't know. Just a rumor.

>> The mall.

[Music]

>> My uncle is not a vampire. Matter of

fact, my mother does wear army roots,

but she does not have a beard.

>> People, don't believe anything you hear.

They're just rumors.

>> How do we know that's true?

>> Yeah, maybe it's just a rumor.

>> If we don't get rid of them, they're

going to take over.

>> Now she gets it.

>> Roses are red, violets are blue, rumors

get spread. Who cares if they're true?

Hey everybody over here.

>> Where are we?

>> Can't see my hand in front of my face.

That's my face.

>> At least we got away from those things.

Uhhuh. Now don't go starting rumors.

A

rumor has it Harvey's going to get

dumped in a big fat of mustard.

>> Somebody help me.

>> No, I I'm a ketchup man. I I'm Djon

intolerant. I'm a teen, not a wumor

[Applause]

has it Margo's next.

>> No, I can't wear yellow. I'm a winter.

[Music]

>> Margo totally struck down by a spicy

golden condiment. Injustice. Thy name is

Mustard. This is all our fault,

Cassandra.

You mean your fault. I only let one

rumor out of that awful mill.

>> So, you did go down there.

No, I mean that's just a rumor.

>> Cassandra, we're the only ones who can

fix this. Will you help?

>> Not you, too, Tiffany.

>> I could be next.

What are we going to do?

Only one thing to do.

We really need your help.

>> I'm the one who needs help. But I don't

need it from you. You You've done

enough.

>> I want to make things right, but I don't

know how.

>> Now you see how hard it is to squelch a

rumor.

>> But there's got to be something we can

do.

>> Well, there is one person who might

help.

the professor. But he's not easy to

find. He lives deep in the dark heart of

the gray area.

[Music]

Professor

PT Dioynes, PhD DDS FYI IOU, Doctor of

Physology and Physiology, board

certified and board fortune teller,

master mechanic, and gray area cana

champion. What can I do for you?

>> We're here about rumors.

[Music]

>> Artist John's triedand-true rumor

remover. Rejuvenates the truth,

revitalizes friendships, or double your

money back, less twice the deposit.

Clears rumors so fast, nobody will

remember they were ever there. That's

how good it is.

>> How much does it cost? We're on a

budget.

>> Today, I'm running a special. I'll let

it go for a mere 40 Netherworld credits.

>> A

Okay.

[Applause]

>> Come on, folks. Everybody sing with me.

Rumors rule. Rumors rule. Spread them at

the mall and spread them at the school.

[Applause]

[Music]

>> Look what she has. Rumor remover. Stop

her. Stop that girl.

[Music]

>> Over here. Sabrina. Ali. The goo.

[Music]

It's stuck.

>> Oh,

Cassandra. Alio.

>> No time to dodaw, Sabrina. Put a little

elbow grease in it. I got rumors

hounding me.

>> There's more than one way to skin a cat.

Uh, no offensive.

>> None. taken. Just do it.

>> It didn't work.

>> They're too powerful. What do we do now?

>> Rumor has it you're going to get a bath

in the ketchup bag.

[Music]

>> Remember, Brea, only one thing will set

you free.

You're not true.

>> What?

>> You're nothing but lies.

>> Don't say that.

>> We're sensitive.

>> Cassandra, it looks like they don't like

to be faced with the truth.

>> You're a pack of lies.

[Music]

[Applause]

Looks like the truth set us free. I wish

you'd figured that out before we blew 40

credits.

>> But what about uh them?

>> Maybe they don't have to know the whole

truth.

[Music]

Hey, Brina.

>> You're sure they won't remember?

>> Sabrina Cassandra, I got the funniest

idea stuck in my head about you two

doing some kind of crazy magic. And Huh?

Oh, Harvey, you're not trying to spread

a rumor, are you?

[Music]

>> Sabrina, hurry up.

We'll be late for math. What's the hold

up?

>> It's my hair. It's a disaster.

>> You're like so vain about that hair. How

bad can it be?

>> Oh,

>> that does it. Nobody else sees me like

this.

Okay. Okay. I'm sorry.

Wait. I can fix it.

>> Oh, yeah. Like how?

Ow. Not so tight.

>> All clear. Come on. Your hair looks

fine.

>> You kidding? I look like I should be

yodelling in the Alps.

[Music]

[Music]

Hey. Ow, that hurt. Oh, hi Sabrina.

[Music]

>> That's a weird way to read.

>> You think? My hair looks awful and I

don't want you to see it.

>> Come on. Let me see. Aw, I bet it's not

that bad.

[Music]

>> See, you look great.

Anyway, you shouldn't obsess about your

looks. I think vanity is a sin or

something.

>> I really look okay.

>> Yeah, you look just like my old cocker

spaniel. I loved her.

>> Ow.

Did I say something wrong?

Sabrina, you know the dress code. No

hats in class.

>> I know you heard me, Sabrina. No hats in

class.

>> Is someone wearing a hat?

[Music]

M.

Oh,

[Music]

let's try this formula next.

>> Yeah, that last one smelled like a

funeral home. I told you too much

formaldahhide.

>> Hey, making shampoo is an art, not a

science.

>> Ouch.

>> Um, should look nice with your yellow

shirt.

[Music]

Oh.

[Music]

Go fetch you pathetic zombies. Get a

life.

>> So, what's the deal with this Madame

Medusa's trust hammer? Sounds like just

the thing I need.

>> I don't think so.

>> You thought so down there. I heard you.

>> How? Your ears were full of pineapple

chunks.

I've just had my hair washed and enough

organic food products to stock the

school salad bar for a week. So, don't

mess with me.

>> Okay. Okay. Just look on page 743 of

your spell book.

>> It's magic.

[Music]

>> Yeah. Which is why Hilda and Zelda don't

want you using it.

Pathetic.

There's a minor rule which you may

recall. No using magic at mortal school

for personal gain.

>> Here it is. Tangled and snarly, knotted

and gnarly. If great hair is your aim,

those wild locks you must tame.

>> Hey, put that back on.

Are you a supernatural being on the go?

>> Yes, yes, and yes.

>> Then Madame Medadusa's Tres Tamer is for

you. Sabrina, just follow the easy to

use instructions and remember, no water.

>> Wow. You mean I don't need water?

>> No, I mean once you've started using

Madame Medadusas, you have to avoid

water at all cost. Water will make it

stop working forever.

>> You hear me? No water. Not on your head

or anywhere. Don't wash. Have you got

it?

>> I got it. I got it.

[Music]

>> Okay, here goes.

[Music]

What's burning?

[Music]

Oh my gosh, it's me.

[Music]

Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow.

Sabrina, you look fabulous.

Why, thank you, Marita.

I hate to admit it, but Sabrina's hair

looks great. I can't believe you just

said that.

>> And I can't believe I agree with you.

[Music]

[Music]

Sabrina, can I get a picture?

>> A picture of me, little old me?

>> Yeah. The yearbook staff just took a

vote. You not only win this year's best

hair, you win best hair that ever was

and ever will be. So, why don't the rest

of us just give up and shave our heads?

>> That's it. That's it. Yeah. Yeah. More.

More. Now, less. Good. Great. Super.

Awesome.

>> I can't believe this.

>> Oh, Sabrina, look out.

[Music]

Gross.

[Applause]

>> Thank you. Thank you. Wow. I could get

used to this. I've never been woripped

for my looks before.

[Music]

Hi, Bina.

Hey.

Huh?

[Music]

[Applause]

Out of my way. You're stupid. You got to

get away from here.

[Music]

Wo wo

wo.

[Music]

Oh.

[Music]

H.

[Music]

This not washing isn't so bad.

[Music]

[Music]

Sabrina.

I need a really big favor. I have to

make up the swim test I missed and I

need somebody to be my buddy.

>> You mean like actually get in the pool?

>> Miss McGrun will give us late passes to

math. Please,

>> Marita, I'd like to help, but I just did

my hair.

>> Well, but couldn't you just do it again?

>> I don't know. I mean, it looks so good

now. And

>> oh, just forget it. You know what? As a

friend, you stink.

>> Don't get mad. I could help with a a

soccer test or bowling.

So, this is your secret, huh?

[Music]

Hey,

couldn't you at least shower at night?

Your friends won't see your hair and I'd

be able to breathe.

>> Didn't you hear the guy? Once I start, I

can't wash or the trust tamer will stop

working. Look, it says so on the bottle.

Oh no, it's not in here.

You mean you'll have to stop using it?

Oh, darn. What a shame. Uh-oh.

I know I had it after gym class. Ow.

Hey,

>> I should have known.

[Applause]

>> Admit it. You stole it.

Crack a window, will you?

>> You just had to have hair like mine,

didn't you?

>> Oh, right. Like I want to look like you.

I don't think so.

>> So, what' you do with it?

>> You'll see.

>> You You didn't give it to mortals, did

you?

>> So, what? What could possibly happen?

Some for you and some for me. It's like

I just can't wait to see how fabulous

our hair is going to be in like a few

seconds. Crunchy.

Chewy.

Woo.

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

I hope we're not too late.

>> I still don't see what the big deal is.

>> Did you read the fine print? Warning.

All effects will be the opposite if used

by mortals.

>> The opposite? What does that mean?

[Music]

>> I'm sorry, but werewolves are so not the

opposite of good hair.

>> Don't tell me. Tell Madame Medusa.

>> P you. This garbage is nasty. Actually,

it smells better than you do.

>> Thanks.

>> At the mall, werewolves go shopping.

>> These aren't ordinary werewolves.

They're Tiffany and Margot.

[Applause]

[Music]

A Tiff's been wanting those jeans

forever.

[Music]

>> I hate to waste such a cute top as bait,

but anything less choice might not do

the trick. Shh, here comes one.

[Applause]

I really hope that's Tiffany. Why? She's

got much better taste than Margo.

I I didn't mean it. You've perfected a

look which is uniquely you.

Although I thought that outfit you wore

yesterday was pretty rank.

[Music]

Wow. Cassandra, help.

>> If I help you, who's going to help me?

[Music]

>> Cassandra, go right. Go right. If you

say so.

[Applause]

[Music]

[Music]

Your hair still looks great. Of course.

>> Yeah, I'm starting to wonder if it's

worth it. And I still think that outfit

looked bad.

>> Go ahead and howl. It won't do you any

good.

>> Gee, if I didn't know better, I think

that sounded like more werewolves.

>> Um, Sabrina, I probably should have told

you.

>> What now?

Well,

I I thought it'd be funny if a lot of

people showed up at school with hair as

good as yours.

And

Tiffany and Margot weren't the only ones

I gave the Tres.

What?

[Music]

[Music]

It's times like this I really wish I had

my broom.

>> I thought you might feel that way.

>> Salem, how do you find us?

>> I followed the smell.

girls. Um,

>> Cassandra, let's go. No way I'm riding

with that hairball.

>> Suit yourself. Enjoy the picnic. Oops, I

forgot. You are the picnic.

>> Wait, don't leave me.

[Music]

We made it.

>> Yeah, but we can't leave them like this.

They're our friends.

>> Wo!

>> Sabrina, what are you doing?

>> Actually, we're going to swoop down and

get them to chase us.

Are you nuts?

[Music]

Now where

>> the high school and don't lose them.

[Music]

[Music]

>> Thanks Salem. See you at home.

Perfect. Oh, yeah. I'd much rather be

eaten here.

[Music]

>> You do have a plan, right?

>> Yeah.

Just checking.

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

What are we doing here?

>> You were all sleepwalking.

>> We were?

Yeah. We must have had something to do

with the full moon. Weird, huh? Huh?

Sabrina, your hair.

Yeah, it's a mess. I guess some vain

girls would obsess about things like

their hair.

>> Actually, I like it this way. Reminds me

of

>> Yeah, I know. Your cocker spaniel.

Thanks.

How sweet. How'd your swim test go?

>> I'm doing it tomorrow. Couldn't find a

buddy.

>> I'll be your buddy if you want me to.

That is.

>> That'd be great. You want to come over?

We could finish our homework together.

>> Nah, I'm heading home. I really want to

take a shower.

>> Salem.

Salem.

>> My sleep should be thought of as sacred.

Salem, have you seen my clean laundry?

>> Yes, and it was quite comfortable. Thank

you.

>> If you're sleeping in my clean clothes

again,

>> you'll never know.

Ruffled clothes offend the eye. Quickly

wash and quicker dry.

[Music]

Wait, stop. No shrinking.

>> What's that?

[Music]

>> Salem.

>> H. Yes. Uh, problem, Sabrina. You sound

uh concerned.

>> No, I just need my favorite jeans.

They're perfect for a bike ride with

Harvey. As long as they're not covered

in cat hair.

Huh?

What's wrong with my jeans? What's wrong

with me?

I'm fat.

Oh my gosh. School pictures are this

week. I can't have my picture taken like

this.

Don't panic, Sabrina. There's time to

lose the weight. I just have to get

serious.

[Music]

Hey, Sabrina, slow down. My cramps are

getting cramps.

>> Come on, Harvey. There'll be plenty of

time to rest later, like next Tuesday.

>> I don't think I'm going to make it to

next Tuesday.

Hey.

Oh man, the chain came off.

>> Here, let me help you. Can't waste time

resting, you know.

>> Gosh, Sabrina, what's with all this

exercise all of a sudden?

>> I want to lose some weight for school

pictures this week.

>> H what for? They only take a picture of

your face. So, you're saying I really do

need to lose weight?

>> No. No. I'm saying you don't need to

bother

>> because I'm already hopeless. I'm a lost

cause. I'm fat. Is that what you're

saying?

>> No. I'm saying I'm trying to say my bike

lost its chain.

>> Huh?

[Music]

>> Well, some of us have weight to lose.

wrist weights, Sabrina, and the ankle

weights and the sweatb band.

It's also 1988 gym class. Well, you

know, school pictures are coming up this

week. Oh my gosh, school pictures. All

my best tops are at the cleaners. My

hairdresser is in Aruba. This is a

crisis.

>> You're not kidding. The only good thing

about this week is that Mr. Snipe has

gone to some Netherworld conference.

[Music]

Today we're going to learn about the art

of thury.

Our first experiment will deal with

creating light. We begin with a dash of

extract of firefly.

I wonder if Cassandra thinks I look fat.

>> Next, add a pinch of dried purple

fireweed.

that Miss Mcgrron thinks I do.

>> Now, put in one small lump of cave giant

bichumin and grind well.

>> Wish I could just grind the pounds away.

Why does losing weight have to be so

hard?

>> That should be sufficient, girls. Uh,

Sabrina. Sabrina.

>> Uh, what?

>> Grinding time is over. You may add a

pinch of sunflower pollen now.

Wow.

[Music]

Sometimes you have to jumpst start the

magic with a nudge from your wand.

>> Like this.

>> Sabrina,

see me after school.

>> Yes, Miss McGrun.

[Music]

Now class, with Mr. Snipe gone, it's

been a long enough day for me already. I

want each of you to carefully add the

catalysts in your test tubes to your

flask. Observe the reaction.

>> Oh,

>> hey.

[Music]

[Laughter]

[Music]

Why isn't this working?

Miss McRooney did say sometimes things

need a little jump start.

>> Oh no, what's happening?

Whoa,

>> Miss McRoon over here.

[Music]

>> Sabrina, I should have known. Quit now,

class. Everybody out. This is not a

drill.

>> I saw that little trick with the wand.

Spellman,

>> keep moving. Keep moving.

[Music]

Sabrina, I want to

>> see me after school. Yes, ma'am. I bet

you do.

[Music]

So, I have to work in the cafeteria for

the next few days for detention.

>> I got cafeteria detention once. I left

my dirty gym socks in my locker too

long. Pretty soon, they were trying to

destroy Tokyo. You were scrubbing pots

for weeks. You didn't just get dishpan

hands. You got dish pan everything.

Sabrina, sweetie, you didn't eat your

dinner. Yes, I did. I'm full. I just

can't eat. Full on three green beans and

a baby carrot.

>> Sweetie, the parsley was the garnish,

not the whole meal.

Well, waist not whatn not.

>> School pictures are this week. I want to

look my best.

>> Sabrina, you already do look your best.

You know how important it is to eat a

balanced diet. Well, Sabrina, just

promise us you'll eat healthy from now

on. Deal?

>> Oh, don't worry. Oh, is that the time?

I'd love to stay and talk about food,

but I got to go.

>> Well, I don't like it. She's starving

herself to lose some imaginary weight. I

remember doing the same thing when I was

her age.

Not me. I got sent to General Cheese

Head and he quickly cured me of all that

nonsense. You know, General Cheese Head

might be just the thing. I wonder if we

could get him to help Sabrina.

[Music]

Mrs. Crutup, this is Sabrina.

>> Nice to meet you.

>> Kind of puny, isn't she?

>> Don't worry, she'll make short work of

those pots and pans.

>> I suggest you use gloves.

gloves. How about a hazmat suit?

[Music]

Why am I so wiped? I'm usually not this

tired. Guess I'm usually not this

hungry.

>> I'm out of here. Just pull the back door

shut when you go. It's already locked.

>> Yes, Miss Crutup. See you tomorrow.

[Applause]

Like Miss McGurnney said, some things

need a little jump start.

[Music]

I'll just rest my eyes for a few

seconds.

[Music]

Huh?

[Music]

Oh my gosh. Magic got me into this mess.

Let's see if it can get me out of it.

Scene of chaos, please erase. pots

return to their proper place.

[Music]

That's weird. I just took a nap and I'm

still tired. Guess it really is time for

bed.

[Music]

>> Why do mornings show up so early?

Uh, I missed that, Sabrina. You had a

bed in your mouth.

>> Oh, what's the matter, kiddo? You feel

bad?

>> No, I feel fat.

>> You what? Why?

>> Oh, good one, Sabrina. You really got me

with that one. As if you're fat. Really?

>> No, I mean it. Look at me.

I can't even fit into my favorite jeans

anymore.

>> Um, Sabrina, about those jeans.

>> What about them?

[Music]

>> No. No, Sabrina, listen to me. I slept

in them, washed them, and then I shrunk

them when I dried them too fast.

>> Yuck. Boy, do I hate confessing.

>> Oh, Salem, that is so sweet of you.

making up that story so I won't feel bad

about getting fat. You really are a

friend.

>> Yeah, a friend who shrinks your clothes.

I thought people were supposed to

believe you when you told the truth.

>> If I'm quiet, Aunt Hilda and Aunt Zelda

won't know I skipped breakfast.

>> I have to work some more in the

cafeteria anyway. Tell them that. Okay.

>> Oh, I'll tell them. All right.

[Music]

Hey, you want to have lunch with me

today? My mom gave me enough pizza for

two.

>> No thanks. Food makes me sick.

>> Sabrina, turn down pizza. I don't

believe it.

>> I don't get it. My brain never bothers

me if I don't study. But if I don't eat,

my stomach won't leave me alone.

Man, I'm exhausted.

I know I'm not supposed to use magic,

but I don't have a choice. Pans and

scrubber know what to do. Keep on

washing till you're through.

[Music]

Hey, where am I?

[Music]

M whipped cream. It's so good.

And so full of calories, too. I can't

eat that.

No. No. I can't eat anything.

[Music]

Looks like a picnic.

>> What's that sound? Army ants.

>> Sabrina, you've been avoiding us.

>> Well, yeah. Food makes you fat. That's a

negative, soldier. The right food makes

you healthy.

>> I've got school pictures. I can't afford

to eat.

>> You can't afford not to. So, this is how

you want to play it, huh? You think

food's the enemy, do you?

>> You are the enemy.

>> Only if you treat us that way, Missy.

So, you leave me no choice.

Charge.

No, no, this can't be happening.

>> Oh man, I'm glad it was just a dream.

Got to stay away from food.

Hey, my wand.

[Music]

Gotcha.

[Music]

Miss McGrun is going to nail me so bad.

>> Oh no.

>> Charge.

[Music]

>> Charge.

>> Oh no, my wand's shorted out.

[Music]

[Music]

Got to find Miss Mcruni.

>> Move it, troops. We have to teach that

kid to eat and eat healthy.

[Music]

>> Miss McGrun, help. There's a food fight

in the cafeteria. Well, that's a job for

the janitor, Sabrina, not me.

>> No, ma'am. I mean, the food is fighting

like and Oh, no. And run for your lives.

>> Run for your lives.

>> Oh, Sabrina.

>> Yes, ma'am. You're going to want to see

me after school.

>> Bingo.

>> If anybody can straighten out Sabrina,

General Cheese Head can. I can't believe

she thinks she's fat. It's so silly.

[Music]

Huh?

>> General, it's us. Hilda and Zelda.

>> Silence, civilians. I've got a corn cob,

and I'm not afraid to use it.

>> Looks like the general is a few crackers

short of a box.

I'm out of here.

[Applause]

Oo, whole cream. Well, I am a little

parched.

Curse my refined pallet.

I I wanted to look my best. I'm so

sorry.

>> Well, I'm afraid sorry isn't going to be

enough. You made food your enemy, and

you need to change that and fast.

>> Miss Mcgrron,

>> darn thing's no good until I clean it.

Sabrina, we have to get to a washroom.

No, Miss McGruni. I started this. I need

to finish it. I'm going in.

>> Sabrina, no.

[Music]

Time for a little attitude about food

adjustments.

Well, food isn't your enemy, Sabrina.

It's about eating right and exercising.

Listen to us, sweetie. Not eating at all

is just as unhealthy as eating too much.

It's about creating a balance.

>> Oh, just smack him with a spatula and

get me down from here.

>> Stop.

>> You were all right and I was wrong.

Food's not my enemy. Please, can we be

friends?

>> Well, of course, dear. Friends it is.

Eat a bit and there will be peace.

[Music]

>> All you were saying is give peas a

chance.

[Music]

Hey, Miss McGrinie. Everything worked

out just fine.

>> Everything?

>> Oh, I know. I'm going to have to come up

with a top-notch forgetfulness spell.

>> Yes.

>> And I'm going to have to spend extra

hours in cafeteria detention. I promise

I will definitely not use magic this

time.

>> Yes.

>> After.

After what?

>> After I have breakfast, lunch, and

dinner. Don't binge, sweetheart. That's

really bad. Remember, with food, just

enough is just right.

>> Never fear. General Cheese Head is here.

General Cheese Head says you are what

you eat. So, eat right and not too much.

>> I General, I think I got it. Thanks.

[Music]

Check it out, Salem. What do you think?

Will I kill at the Ghost Athon or what?

>> You don't want to know what I think.

>> Yes, I do.

>> Okay.

I think you should finish your term

paper.

Okay. Okay. I promise. Just as soon as I

pick the right costume.

>> That's weird.

>> See, you don't like this costume.

>> No. No. That sneeze. I've heard it

before.

>> It's just dust from that dumb old book.

>> Not surprising you haven't touched it

for days.

>> So, what do you think?

That's it.

>> Really? You don't think it's too sappy?

>> The sneeze. It was in Paris, late 14th

century.

[Music]

The cherubs were just being added to the

Notre Dame Cathedral.

>> Hello. Notre Dame has gargoyless, not

cherubs.

>> Exact.

>> The witches who were supposed to cast

spells to help spread the weight load

caught a nasty flu from some of the

workmen.

>> Shoot.

>> So with them laid up in bed, no spells

were cast

and the cherubs turned into gargoyles.

So, what you're saying is you think I

have this gross gargoyle flu thing.

>> Well, wrong. Oh, I'm telling you it's

just a little dust

in my

nose.

>> Sabrina, honey, are you okay? Sorry,

just some dust in my

>> We'll see about that.

But H Zel

[Music]

into bed, young lady.

[Music]

>> But the ghostathon's tomorrow night, and

I haven't even figured out what I'm

going to wear yet.

>> I'm sorry, dear. If this fever keeps up,

you're not going anywhere.

[Music]

H

I feel fine. Really? I'll stay in bed

all day tomorrow. I promise.

>> Me, me, me. Is that all you care about?

The gargoyle flu is extremely contagious

and dangerous to witches and warlocks.

Can I get you anything, dear?

>> Well, no. It's too much work.

>> Nonsense. Whatever you want.

>> Fig and Bob Grass soup.

>> Of course you can. Anything to make you

feel better. Take some time though. 100

ingredients, you know.

>> Not taking this too seriously, are we?

>> I feel fine. I just have this dumb

sneeze. That's all.

[Music]

There's plenty more where that came

from. So, Spill, what magic formula can

I take to stop sneezing?

[Music]

>> No.

>> I know you think this cold is stupid,

but it doesn't affect every witch the

same.

All right. But I really can't believe

it's as bad as you say.

Well, good night.

[Music]

I feel so cheap, so weak.

What's the harm? One little bite. Nova

Scotian sumptuous.

[Music]

Now for a little catnap.

Nothing like a little sleeping potion.

Salmon

[Music]

[Music]

flu be gone. Uh, sneeze, freeze, shaw,

pause, stops all flu and cold symptoms.

That's the one.

[Music]

What a mess. Has Hilda ever cleaned up

after herself?

Intolerable. This time she's doing it

herself.

>> Sorry about this, Salem, but I got this

cold thing covered.

>> Sweet dreams.

>> Here you go, Sabrina. Oh,

>> sleeping. That's good.

[Music]

>> Our last, but certainly not least,

homeless ghost, witch, or warlock,

Robert Quibber.

Robert put in two distinguished

centuries in room 313 at the dreadful

boar hunting lodge on the English moors

only to have his home bulldozed and

replaced by the sunny side up tanning

salon.

>> Let's find him a home.

>> Doesn't the ruber deserve a new home?

This dilapidated little gem has creaky

claws and an attic full of bats. It's

positively crying out to be haunted.

Who will make the first bid?

500

and Elder.

Well, hello there. Who have we here? I'm

a Leo.

>> Excuse me.

[Music]

The Hocus Pocah. I love this song. It's

so retro.

>> Like I dig it, too.

>> That's nice. Now go away.

On second thought, let's dance.

[Music]

>> Ow. Ow. Hey, Leo. Can you try and dance

on the floor, not on my foot? Sweet.

Let's boogie another night away.

[Music]

[Music]

Ew. Nobody noticed. Maybe this wasn't

such a great idea.

>> Come on.

You don't want to poop this party, do

you?

[Music]

Now,

[Music]

Hey, sleepy head.

>> I did sleep rather deeply.

>> Good morning, honey. How are you

feeling?

>> Great.

See? No more cold.

[Music]

No way.

Sure.

Hey,

your new sweater.

Jeez, Cassandra, I'm so sorry.

[Music]

Oh, don't sweat it, Sabrina.

[Music]

My term paper. Would you believe uh my

blow dryer blew up my cell phone, which

blew up my organizer, which blew up my

hard drive?

>> Good, Sabrina.

>> Huh?

You put a sleeping potion spell on that

salmon, didn't you? Then you snuck off

to the Ghost Athon.

>> Cats, where'd you get such a crazy idea?

[Laughter]

[Music]

>> There.

>> I don't get it. What's so funny?

>> Nothing. In which folk, that's the first

symptom of the gargoyle flu. But

>> yes,

>> I took a cold potion and Oh, if that

goblin I was dancing with wasn't so

clumsy.

>> You sneezed and spread the germs.

>> So, they giggle. And Cassandra, it's

actually an improvement.

>> That's just the first phase. The other

phases aren't as harmless.

>> Hey, why aren't you giggling?

>> Since I was turned into a cat, witch

illnesses don't affect me much. Which

means you can go to the netherworld with

me to find a cure.

[Music]

>> Looks pretty normal to me.

>> Excuse me.

>> Oh, don't hurt me.

>> Okay. Okay, calm down. Don't you have a

new house to haunt? It's infested with

bats and spiders, and the lights flicker

and the floors creek.

>> Sounds dreamy. I mean, for a ghost.

>> Second phase of the gargoyle flu. They

go from unexplainable giggles to

complete terror. Stop it. Stop blinking.

>> Huh?

>> Your eyelashes, they're frightening me.

>> I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Please forgive me.

>> Forgive you? I'm going to eat you.

[Music]

Hey, why'd you do that? Why'd he do

that?

>> Third phase of the illness. Unbelievable

rage.

>> Run.

[Music]

Yeah.

[Music]

>> Follow me.

[Music]

What happened?

>> Stage four of the gargoyle flu.

>> Oh, crud.

>> What do we do now?

>> If we don't find a cure fast, they'll

stay that way along with the rest of the

nether world.

[Music]

Oh, Salem, it's all my fault. What can

we do?

[Music]

>> You finished Zelda's soup?

>> How can you be hungry at a time like

this?

>> I'm not. I'm merely observing that you

drank that soup and you haven't sneezed

since. Have you?

>> No, I feel fine.

>> As a half witch, I'd think you'd have a

few symptoms by now.

Do you think Anzelda soup cured me?

>> Could be. If we isolated the right

ingredients, then concentrated it to

full witch strength, maybe we'd have a

cure.

[Music]

>> Hi, Aunt Hilda.

Is Aunt Zelda around?

her laziness. I don't believe her. I

have to do all this shopping. Oh, you

want me to clean that, too? Give it.

>> Zelda.

>> Hello down there.

And Zelda, can you tell me what was in

that soup you made me?

>> You expect me

to remember all those ingredients?

>> Do you realize how many ingredients are

in that stupid soup? Do you?

>> Phase three, Zelda style.

>> What happened to phase two?

>> Well, how dare you shout at her? You

lazy lolly gagger. You're calling me

lazy? I sure am. What do you want to do

about it?

[Music]

Aunt Zelda.

>> Oh, okay. Sabrina dear,

>> look out.

[Music]

[Music]

and Zelda. And Hilda.

Oh, Salem, this is all my fault. I was

stubborn, selfish, and all I could think

about was me.

>> I couldn't agree more.

>> Thanks. Problemmo is how are we going to

find that cure without Zelda to tell us?

>> Experiment.

[Music]

[Music]

I give up. We've tried everything. Maybe

it wasn't just the broth that cured you.

You said something about cold medicine,

>> right? Schno's paws.

>> Concentrate this healing brew so it will

cure the gargoyle flu.

[Music]

This kitchen, it's cataclysmic. I can't

believe this mess.

>> Sabrina,

>> it was all my fault. I never should have

risked everyone's health just so I could

go to a party.

>> Oh well, dear. We all make mistakes.

Something to ponder while you spend the

next month washing our dishes. the next

month.

>> Well, before you get dishpan hands,

you've got a lot of work to do in the

netherworld.

[Music]

>> Took all night, but here it is. Miss

Mcgru,

[Music]

[Laughter]

payback for the latte bath.

Hey, Bina. You okay?

>> Sure. Things are definitely back to

normal.

Key Vocabulary

Vocabulary	Meanings
rumor /ˈruːmər/ B2	noun - a currently circulating story or report of uncertain or doubtful truth
cheat /tʃiːt/ A2	verb - to act dishonestly in order to gain an advantage
dynamite /ˈdaɪnəmaɪt/ B2	noun - a high explosive
apologize /əˈpɒlədʒaɪz/ B1	verb - to express regret for something that one has done wrong
gorgeous /ˈɡɔːrdʒəs/ A2	adjective - beautiful; very attractive
transplant /trænsˈplænt/ B2	noun - the surgical operation of moving an organ or tissue to a new place
responsibility /rɪˌspɒnsəˈbɪləti/ B1	noun - the state of having a duty to deal with something
condiment /ˈkɒndɪmənt/ C1	noun - a substance such as salt or mustard used to add flavor to food
rejuvenate /rɪˈdʒuːvəneɪt/ C2	verb - to make someone or something look or feel younger or more lively
threatening /ˈθretnɪŋ/ B1	adjective - having a hostile or deliberately frightening quality
vampire /ˈvæmpaɪər/ B2	noun - a mythical being that subsists by feeding on the life essence of others
disaster /dɪˈzɑːstər/ A2	noun - a sudden event that causes great damage
vanity /ˈvænəti/ C1	noun - excessive pride in or admiration of one's own appearance
supernatural /ˌsuːpərˈnætʃrəl/ B2	adjective - attributed to some force beyond scientific understanding
worship /ˈwɜːrʃɪp/ B2	verb - to show deep admiration and respect for someone

Key Grammar Structures

• Why would they say it if it wasn't true?

  ➔ Second Conditional (Hypothetical past situations)

  ➔ Uses 'would' + verb and 'wasn't' (past simple) to express a hypothetical situation contrary to reality.

• Be sure what you say is the truth and nothing but.

  ➔ Noun Clause as Object

  ➔ The clause 'what you say' acts as the object of the verb 'be sure' (implied preposition).

• I wonder who will have the top score.

  ➔ Embedded Question (Indirect Question)

  ➔ The clause 'who will have the top score' follows the subject-verb order, not question order.

• If you had anything to do with this, Cassandra...

  ➔ Third Conditional (Past Reality)

  ➔ Uses 'had' + past participle to talk about a condition in the past.

• I've never even heard of a rumor mill.

  ➔ Present Perfect Simple

  ➔ Uses 'have' + past participle ('heard') to describe an experience up to the present.

• Once you've started using Madame Medadusas, you have to avoid water.

  ➔ Time Clause (Present Perfect + Present Simple)

  ➔ 'Once' introduces a condition that must be met before the main action occurs.

• You're not going anywhere.

  ➔ Present Continuous for Future Arrangement

  ➔ Uses 'are going' to express a firm plan or a definite future outcome.

• You shouldn't have done that.

  ➔ Modal Perfect (Past Regret/Criticism)

  ➔ 'Shouldn't have' + past participle describes an action that was wrong in the past.