– English Lyrics

Lyrics & Translation

[English]

Okay, it's ready.

Come on.

>> What's ready?

>> Just come. [laughter]

>> Oh my god.

>> Wow.

>> Hey, Monica.

>> Beautiful.

>> Oh, did you What? Did you work for two

days straight?

>> Pretty much. [laughter]

>> What What do you think of the floor?

>> I don't know. It looks the same.

You used to have carpet.

>> Oh, yeah.

>> So, I I made snacks.

Please just hang out. Okay. I'm I'm just

going to rest my eyes for just a little

bit.

[laughter]

>> Mom, do you want us to uh come back

later?

>> Oh, no, no, no. Stay, stay, stay. Just

keep talking.

I am always the hostess.

>> So, uh Rachel, what are you uh what are

you doing tonight?

>> Oh, big glamour night. Me and Monica at

Lorama.

>> Oh.

You uh you want to hear a freakish

coincidence? Guess who's doing laundry

there, too?

>> Who?

>> Me.

>> Was that not clear? [laughter]

>> Um hey, why don't um why don't I just

join you both there?

>> Don't you have a laundry room in your

building?

>> Yes,

I do have a laundry room in my building.

Um, but there's a rat problem.

Apparently, uh, they're attracted to the

the dryer sheets, and you know, they're

going in fine, but they're they're

coming out all all

fluffy.

>> Anyway, say 7 in.

>> Sure.

>> Coming through. Move. Move. [laughter]

>> Oh, excuse excuse me. I was kind of

using that machine.

>> Yeah. Well, now you're kind of not,

>> but I I saved it. I put my basket on

top.

>> Oh, I'm sorry. Is that your basket?

>> Yes.

>> It's really pretty. Unfortunately, I

don't see suds. [laughter]

>> What?

No suds. No save.

>> Okay. [laughter]

>> What's going on?

>> Hi. Um, nothing. This horrible woman

just took my machine.

>> Was your basket on top?

>> Yeah, but there were no suds.

>> So,

>> well, you know, no ss, no save.

>> No s. Excuse me. Hold on a second. This

is my friend's machine.

>> Hey, hey, hey. Your stuff wasn't in it.

>> Hey, hey, hey. That's not the rule, and

you know it.

[laughter]

All right, show's over. [laughter]

>> Nothing to see here.

>> Okay, let's do laundry.

>> That was amazing.

>> I can't even send back soup. Well,

that's that's because you're such a

sweet, gentle uh

um uh do you uh do Oh, hey, you must

need detergent.

[laughter]

>> What's that?

>> Vice. [laughter]

It's uh It's new. It's German. It's

extra tough. [laughter]

>> Ra, do you are you going to separate

those?

>> Oh god. Oh, am I being like a total

laundry span? I mean, am I supposed to

use like one machine for shirts and

another machine for pants?

[laughter]

>> Have you Have you never done this

before?

>> Well, not myself, but I know other

people that have. [laughter]

>> Okay, you caught me. I'm a laundry

virgin.

>> Uh, well, don't worry. I'll use the

gentle cycle.

Okay. Um,

>> uh, basically you want to use one

machine for all your whites.

>> Whites.

>> Okay. A whole another machine for for

your colors and and third for uh your,

uh,

uh, delicates, and that would be your

bras and your under panty things.

>> Okay. Well, what about these are white

cotton panties. Would they go with white

with delicates? Uh that that that would

be a judgment call.

>> You got the clothes clean. Now that's

the important part.

>> Oh, I guess. Except everything looks

like jammies now.

[laughter]

>> Oh, I'm sorry. Excuse me. We had this

cart.

>> Yeah, well, I had a 24 in waist. You

lose things now. Come on. Get out of my

way.

>> I'm sorry. You know, maybe I wasn't

being clear. Uh, this was our car.

>> Hey, hey, hey. There aren't any CLOTHES

IN IT.

>> HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY. QUIT MAKING up

rules.

>> Let's go. Come on. THIS IS MY CAR. I

THOUGHT IT WAS.

>> ALL RIGHT. LISTEN, MINTY. If you want

this part, you're going to have to take

me with it.

>> Did you see that?

>> You were incredible. A brand new woman,

ladies and gentlemen.

Thank you. Thank you. I could not have

done this without you.

[laughter]

>> Okay. Um uh more clothes in the dryer.

Oh, look at her. So happy. [laughter]

If only there were a smaller one to

clean this one. [laughter]

>> Hey, new wallet, huh?

>> Uh, yeah, it was time. The old condom

ring in the leather just doesn't say

cool anymore, you know.

>> Rachel, you just put an empty carton

back in the fridge.

>> Oh, yeah. I know. But the garbage was

full.

[laughter]

>> Have you ever taken out the trash?

Well, I uh thought you liked doing it.

[laughter]

>> Third door on the left,

>> right?

>> Oh, hey, Mr. Trigger.

>> Yeah.

>> [laughter]

>> What are you doing?

>> Um

Oh. Oh,

>> I'm sorry. It's a little old, but

[laughter]

>> No, you're clogging up the shoot. I just

spent a half hour unclogging.

I'm sorry. I didn't I don't come in here

a lot.

>> Oh, yeah. Of course you don't. Cuz

you're a little princess.

>> Daddy, buy me a pizza. Daddy, buy me a

candy factory. Daddy, make the cast of

cats sing happy birthday to me.

[laughter]

Well, you think you can just come in

here, make a mess, a big man in the

coveralls, or come and clean it up, huh?

Well, why don't you think of someone

else for a change?

>> [laughter]

>> It's okay. I'm sorry.

>> God, you're going to cry about it.

>> How could someone get a hold of your

credit card number?

>> I have no idea. But look how much they

spent. Monica, would you calm down? The

credit card people said you only have to

pay for the stuff that you bought.

>> Still, it's just such reckless spending.

I think when somebody steals your credit

card, they've kind of already thrown

caution to the wind.

[laughter]

>> Wow, what a geek. They spent $69.95 on a

Wonder Mop.

>> That's me.

[laughter]

>> Oh, the yuck. Ross, he's doing it again.

>> Marcel, stop humping the land. Stop

humping now. Marcel, come. Come back.

Come here, Marcel.

>> No, no, no. Not in my room. I'll get

him.

>> Ross, you've got to do something about

the humping.

>> What? It's It's just a phase.

>> Well, that's what we said about Joey.

>> Honey, you made the bed again. I told

you you don't have to do that. This

isn't camp.

>> Oh, then I guess the panty raid last

night was totally uncalled for.

[laughter]

Okay, I am going to take a shower and

today I will be singing Jim Crochy's

Leroy Brown.

Monica,

>> hey, I have a question. Is Leroy the

baddest man in the whole damn town or

the fattest man in the whole damn town?

>> The baddest. Otherwise, the song would

be fat fat. Leroy Brown, [laughter]

>> what are you doing?

>> I'm just waiting for you, sweetie.

>> Are you remaking the bed?

>> I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You know what? The

way you did it, it was just fine.

>> Then you're redoing it because

>> if I tell you, you'll think I'm crazy.

>> You're pretty much running that risk

either way.

[laughter]

>> Okay. You see,

the debate tag shouldn't be at the top

left corner. It should be at the bottom

right corner.

>> Well, that's not so crazy.

>> I'm just easing you in.

>> All right.

>> All right. You see these little flower

blossoms? They should be facing up, not

down, because well, the head of the bed

is where the sun would be.

[laughter]

You don't love me anymore, do you?

Actually,

if it's possible, I love you more.

>> Really?

>> Wow. Well, then come on. I want to show

you how to fold a toilet paper into a

point.

>> Wait,

Joe.

>> Full bag.

Beer's still cold.

Something terrible must have happened

here. [laughter]

[laughter]

Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no.

Stevie, I was never here.

The chair. Now, if anybody asks, your

name is Rosita.

>> [laughter]

>> like it.

>> No, I won't.

>> Even

>> because I know when I'm not going to go

like this.

>> You know what? [laughter]

Poor thing. Cut down in her prime.

[laughter]

Joey, the new chair will be here in an

hour. Maybe we should actually move

Rosita out of here. You know, start the

healing process.

>> I guess you're right.

[laughter]

>> [laughter]

>> She's healed.

>> That's weird.

>> No, it's not weird. It's a miracle.

[laughter]

>> Looks like she didn't leave in such a

hurry after all.

>> Well, I think this is the episode of

Thre's Company where there's some kind

of misunderstanding.

>> [laughter]

>> Then I've already seen this one.

[laughter]

>> Are you through with that?

>> Yeah. Sorry, the swallowing slowed me

down.

>> Whose little ball of paper is this?

>> Oh, that would be mine. See, uh, I wrote

a note to myself and then I realized I

didn't need the notes, so I baldled it

up. And now I wish I was dead.

[laughter]

>> She already fluffed that pillow. Monica,

you know, you already fluffed, but it's

fine.

>> [laughter]

>> Look, I'm sorry, guys. I just don't want

to give them any more ammunition than

they already have.

>> Yes, and we all know how cruel a parent

can be about the flatness of a child's

pillow.

>> Monica, hi. Um,

Monica, um, you're scaring me.

I mean, you're like you're like all

chaotic and twirly, you know? I mean,

and not not in a good way.

>> Yeah. Calm down. You don't see Ross

getting all chaotic and twirly every

time they come.

>> That's because as far as my parents are

concerned, Ross can do no wrong. You

see, he's the prince. Apparently, they

had some big ceremony before I was born.

>> Hi, you guys.

>> Hey.

>> Oh, what's in the bag?

>> Oh. Uh, well, you know how Emma started

crawling? I realized that this place is

very unsafe for a baby. So, I went to

the store and I got some stuff to baby

proof the apartment.

>> Oh god. Baby proofing. Why is this such

a big deal now? You know, when I was a

kid, it was like, "Whoops, Joey fell

down the stairs." Or, "Uh, Whoops, Joey

electrocuted himself again." [laughter]

>> Anyway, um, are you going to get a

handyman to install this stuff?

>> No, I was just going to do it myself.

[laughter]

>> You're going to do it?

>> Yeah. Why? You don't think a woman can

do this?

>> Well, women can't. You can't.

>> Monica, will you please tell Joey that

he is a pig?

>> You're a pig and you can't do this.

>> What?

>> What? Come on. I found the hardware

store all by myself.

>> The hardware store is right down the

street.

>> There is a hardware store right down the

street.

[music]

>> Hi. So, you gave in and decided to call

someone?

>> Yeah. I don't know who I was kidding. I

can barely use chopsticks.

You're all set.

>> Oh, thank you so much. Oh. Oh, wait. You

uh forgot your um your game.

>> Thank you. [laughter]

[music]

[laughter]

>> Ra.

>> [laughter]

>> Rachel, [laughter]

[laughter]

>> so I can't do anything I like.

[laughter]

I did it. I can't. Ah. All right.

I better take all I can carry.

[laughter]

Who knows when I'll be able to get in

here again. Huh?

You pick one. Just pick one. Here. How

about that one? That's patio furniture.

What? Like people are going to come in

and think, "Uhoh, I'm outside again."

Fine.

What about the birds?

>> I don't know. Birds just don't say

hello. Sit here. Eat something.

[laughter]

>> You pick one.

>> All right. How about the ladybugs? Oh,

so forget about the birds. But big red

insects suggest fine dining. Fine. You

want to get the birds? Get the birds.

>> Not like that. I won't.

[laughter]

>> Can't put it like the birds.

probably won't be using it. You could

drive it to Las Vegas.

>> All right. Thanks, Feb.

>> Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What are

we going to do about my job?

>> Oh. Uh, not go.

>> All right. Great. Road trip, baby.

[laughter]

>> Is this okay with you?

>> Taylor, you don't have to ask for my

permission. You can go.

>> Hey, Ra. Come on. You're going to be

late for the eye doctor appointment.

>> All right, let's get this over with.

Oh no, look what I did.

[laughter]

I mean, look at this mess. I mean, we're

going to probably have to clean this up,

you know? I mean, we're going to have to

reschedu.

[laughter]

>> If you thought that this mess was going

to bother me, you are wrong. All right,

let's go, Blinky. All right, [laughter]

>> or you could just, you know,

[laughter]

what the hell are you doing? [laughter]

What the hell am I doing? You just broke

my fridge.

[laughter]

What? What? How do you know if How do

you know it's even broken? Oh, you think

I don't know what breaks my fridge?

[laughter]

Excuse me?

Well, what do you know? Broken.

That'll be $400.

[laughter]

>> Joey, I saw you push him.

You pushed him. [laughter]

Joey, I did not break this. Okay, that

has been broken for a while. [laughter]

Chan, remember I told you about our

fridge?

>> Uh-huh.

>> I still haven't gotten the check for

your half yet. [laughter]

>> Do not give him any money.

>> I'm not talking to you. YOU BROKE MY

FRIDGE.

>> HEY, BABE.

>> HEY, HONEY. SO, we just got a wedding

gift from Bob and Fay Bing. They don't

like us, do they?

>> Who says you can't get a nice punch bowl

for under six bucks?

Maybe we can take it back. No, it

doesn't say where it came from. Where

would we return it?

>> How about to the street? Say from the

balcony.

[laughter]

>> Why don't we just find a place for it?

[laughter]

>> How about in that cabinet?

>> No, that's where we keep the canned

goods. Have you completely forgotten

everything you learned at orientation?

[laughter]

>> How about the closet by the bathroom?

>> Oh, okay. Here, why don't you let me do

it?

>> No, no, no, no, no. I will do it. Honey,

you have to learn to sit down and relax

and let your husband take care of things

once in a while. It's locked. You have

to help me.

>> Why is it locked?

>> No reason. I keep private things in

there.

>> Well, you know, I've been living here

for a while and I have never seen what's

inside that closet. What is What is in

there?

>> Feminine stuff.

>> Don't try to make me uncomfortable with

feminine stuff.

>> Taylor, there is nothing in there that

concerns you. If you love me, you'll

just you'll let it go.

[laughter]

>> Fine.

>> Thank you.

[laughter]

>> Love you.

>> I wasn't trying to OPEN YOUR CLOSET. I

WASN'T TRYING TO OPEN YOUR CLOSET. I

SWEAR. [laughter]

>> WOW. Monica runs a pretty tight ship

around here, doesn't she? [laughter]

What are you doing?

>> Monica has a secret closet and she won't

let me see what's in it.

>> Why not?

>> I don't know. What could she possibly be

hiding in here that I can't see?

>> I don't know.

>> Ooh, I bet it's Richard. [laughter]

>> Why would Monica be keeping Richard in

here?

>> Well, off the top of my head, uh, maybe

she's having her cake and eating it,

too. You being the cake, Richard being

the two.

or and here we go.

I saw this movie once where there was a

door and nobody knew what was behind it.

And when they finally got it open,

millions and millions and millions of

bugs came pouring out and they feasted

on human flesh. [laughter]

You know, it wouldn't kill you to

respect your wife's privacy.

Not too shabby. I got this all off

myself using my wife's tools.

>> Oh my god.

[laughter]

How did you get in there? [laughter]

>> You're messy.

>> No, you weren't supposed to see this.

>> I married Fred Samford. [laughter]

NO, CHANDLER, YOU don't understand.

[laughter]

>> Okay. OKAY. OKAY. FINE. NOW YOU KNOW.

OKAY. I'm You know I'm sick.

>> No, Clay. You're not sick. Look, I don't

love you because you're organized. I

love you in spite of that. [laughter]

>> Really?

>> You promise you won't tell anyone?

>> Yes. And look, now that I know, if I've

got some extra stuff lying around, can

we can we share the closet?

>> Oh, well,

it's just um I'm afraid you might mess

it up.

>> Man, this is weird. You ever realize

Captain Crunch's eyebrows are actually

on his hat?

>> That's what's weird, Joey. The man's

been captain of a cereal for the last 40

years. [laughter]

Block.

>> What? The spoon. You licked and and you

put.

You licked and you put.

>> Yeah. So,

>> well, don't you see how gross that is? I

mean, that's like you're using my

toothbrush.

[laughter]

>> You used my toothbrush?

>> Oh, that was only cuz I used the red one

to unclog the drain.

>> Mine is the red one.

>> Oh, god. can open worms everywhere.

Hey, why can't we use the same

toothbrush, but we can use the same

soap? Because soap is soap. It's self

cleaning.

>> All right. Well, next time you take a

shower, think about the last thing I

wash and the first thing you wash.

>> All right. Monica categorizes her

towels. How many categories are there?

>> Everyday use, fancy, guest, fancy guest.

TWO SECONDS. 11.

>> 11. UNBELIEVABLE. 11 is correct.

>> YES.

[applause]

>> All right. That's four for the guys.

LADIES, YOU'RE UP.

>> COME ON.

[laughter]

>> 30 seconds on the clock. Five correct

questions wins the game. The lightning

round begins now. What is Joey's

favorite food?

>> Sandwiches.

>> Correct. Chandler was how old when he

first touched a girl's breast?

>> 14.

>> No, 19.

>> Thanks, man. [laughter]

>> Joey had an imaginary childhood friend.

His name was Maurice.

>> Correct. His profession was

>> space cowboy.

>> Correct. [laughter]

>> What is Chandler Bing's job?

[laughter]

>> Oh gosh. This has something to do with

numbers and processing. Well, it carries

a briefcase.

>> 10 seconds. You need this or you LOSE

THE GAME. IT'S UM IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO

WITH trans bonding.

>> Oh. Oh. Oh. He's a trans trans monster.

[laughter]

>> That's not even a word.

>> I can get this. I can get this.

>> I don't know, Monica. It feels funny

just being here. I mean, if you buy a

bed from Janice's ex-husband, that's

like betraying Chandler. Not at these

prices.

[laughter]

>> Hi. You know, in England, this car would

be on the other side of the store.

Oh. Oh.

Phoebe, come here.

This is my new bed. You got to feel this

bad boy.

Monica, it still feels so weird. You

know, Taylor's your friend. Oh. Oh my

god. [laughter]

All right, take this bed. You can make

other friends.

Here ye here. Delivery from the mattress

king.

you, Miss Gella.

>> Okay.

>> Signed here.

>> Do I have a middle name?

>> All right. Monica Belula [laughter]

Geller. It's that bedroom there.

>> Hey, Monica bought a bed from the

mattress king.

>> Yeah. So, please, please, please don't

say anything to Chandler.

>> You want me to lie to Chandler?

>> Is that a problem?

>> No.

What's this?

Isn't it cool? Room. V room.

[laughter]

This is not the bed I ordered.

>> I know. You must have won like a contest

or something.

>> Baby,

why is this car in my bedroom?

>> I'm sorry. Okay. I I wasn't looking and

the store said that they won't take it

back because you've signed for it.

>> When did I sign for it?

>> When I was you. You know what? It's all

Joey's fault cuz he left his nose open.

[laughter]

>> Did you make brownies today?

>> Knock knock.

>> Quick, take off your dress. He won't

notice the bed. [laughter]

>> Hey, I'm going for sushi. Does anybody

want uh

Whoa, somebody missed the offramp.

[laughter]

>> It's Monica's bed. What?

Okay.

It's a race car.

>> So, this has always been Monica's bed.

What you're just noticing now? How

self-involved are you? [laughter]

>> Okay. Well, if this bed isn't new, then

how come there's plastic on the

mattress?

>> Sometimes I have bad dreams.

>> Uh, may I help you?

>> Yes. Hi. I talked to you on the phone.

on the lady who got stuck with the race

car bed.

>> Look, it's like I told you there's

nothing I can do. You signed for it.

Monica Felula Geller.

>> All right, Chester man. Look, we want to

see the king. Nobody sees the king.

>> Okay, I'm talking to the king.

>> Hey, you can't go back there.

Oh my god.

>> Oh, sorry. Did I get you?

>> No, you didn't get me. It's an electric

drill. You get me, you kill me.

Calm down. Do you want this unit or not?

>> I do not want this unit.

>> Oh, you should have told me that before.

Not a mind readader.

[laughter]

>> And we're out of here. Okay, I'm going

to Monica.

>> Fine.

[music]

>> Well, Lis, say hello to your new home.

>> [laughter]

>> Oh my.

Wow. Oh, she's so nice and big.

[laughter]

Oh, Monica, where are you going to

display Glattus oh so proudly?

[laughter]

You haven't really settled on a spot

yet.

>> Well, hey, how about right above the TV?

That way, it will be the first thing

that you see when you walk in the door.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you can get rid of

that French poster. I like that poster.

>> Really? Doesn't have anything coming out

of it.

>> Or maybe there's some place for her in

your bedroom. Oh, there's nothing above

your bed.

>> Are you still here?

>> Oh, here it is. Oh, Joey, why did you

sign it? Son of a

>> I didn't do that. Who would have done

that?

>> Son of a

>> Okay, maybe ask this guy.

You get OUT OF MY SHOP.

>> WHAT?

>> WHAT DID HE DO?

>> He went out with my wife.

>> Joey.

I Hey, I did not go out with your wife.

Okay. [snorts] I I went out WITH HER.

>> THAT'S MY WIFE.

>> Get out.

>> We should go.

>> Yeah.

>> Hey, hun. Would you help me get the

plates down?

>> Yeah. Hey, here's an idea. Why don't we

use our wedding china today?

>> I think we should save our china for

something really special. Like if the

queen of England comes over,

>> honey, she keeps cancing on us. Take the

hint.

>> What if something gets broken? They're

so expensive.

>> What is the point of having them if we

never use them?

>> Okay, but if something gets broken and

then the queen comes over,

>> I will explain it to her.

>> Oh, yeah. Like I'm going to let you talk

to the queen.

>> Well, the parade is really good this

year.

Man, those horses can crap.

>> Next up is a marching band from

Muscogee, Oklahoma. Msokei. That's like

4 hours from Tulsa. Woohoo.

And here's the float with the stars of

the popular daytime soap Days of Our

Lives.

Oh my god.

Aren't you one of the stars of popular

daytime soap Days of Our Lives?

>> Yeah. I forgot I'm supposed TO BE THERE.

I CAN'T BELIEVE I FORGOT I USUALLY write

stuff like this down on my arm.

>> Oh, stupid long sleeves. [laughter]

What are you going to do?

>> I guess I'm going to have to come up

with a really good reason why I wasn't

there. The producers are going to be so

mad at me. They sat us all down

yesterday and said, "Everyone has to be

there 6:00 a.m. sharp. That means you,

Tribiani."

Like I was some kind of idiot.

Well, you proved them wrong.

>> Hi, Chandler Bing. I have a reservation.

>> So, welcome to the Ches Inn, Mr. Bing.

So, where are you joining us from?

>> New York.

>> The Big Apple.

>> I'm sorry. He's a little bit wound up.

We had to stop at every maple candy

stand on the way here.

>> I ate all my gifts for everybody.

>> I'm sorry, Mr. Bing. There's no record

of your reservation in the computer.

>> Well, that's impossible. Can you check

again, please?

>> CHECK AGAIN, PLEASE.

>> [laughter]

>> I'M SORRY. IT'S not here.

>> Not there.

>> Let me get this straight. I called

yesterday to try to cancel my

reservation. Was told it's not

refundable. Then we drove 6 hours all

the way up here. And now you're telling

me that we don't have a reservation.

>> I don't know what to say.

>> She doesn't know what to say.

>> Just give us the cheapest room you have.

>> Unfortunately, the only thing we have

available is our deluxe suite. The rate

is $600.

>> That's insane. It

>> is totally insane. Dude, let's drive

home. We'll hit all the maple candy

stores on the way back and if if they're

closed then maybe we'll we'll tap a tree

and make some ourselves.

>> Does that room have a closet I can lock

him in?

>> We'll take it.

>> Great.

>> But they are totally ripping us off.

Dude, don't worry about it. I know how

we can make your money back. This is a

nice hotel. You know, plenty of

amenities. We just load up on those.

Like those apples instead of taking one.

Um, I take six.

>> Great. At $100 an apple, we're there.

[laughter]

>> Come on. You You get the idea. You know,

we'll make our money back in no time.

>> Dude, you're shaking.

>> I think it's the sugar. Could you hold

the apple? [laughter]

>> Hi, this is Ross Geller in sweet 206.

Um, I seem to have forgotten a couple of

things. Could Could you have some

complimentary toiletries sent up to my

room?

Thank you. Okay. Toothbrush, toothpaste,

razor, mouthwash, deodorant, dental

floss, band-aids, shaving cream, after

shave, and I feel like I'm forgetting

something. Um, is there anything else

you have that I haven't asked for

already? [laughter]

>> Yeah. Go ahead. Set up some tampons.

>> What'd you get? USA Today.

>> Nice. Put them with the others. And I

also got two more apples.

>> We're four short of a bushel.

[laughter]

>> God, I feel so alive. I love being in

the country.

>> Also got these great salt and pepper

shakers from the restaurant.

>> Oh, that's not cool.

>> Dude, none of this is cool. [laughter]

Look, Chandler, you you have to find the

line between stealing and and taking

what the hotel owes you. Um, for

example, a haird dryer. No, no, no. But

shampoos and conditioners. Oh, yes, yes,

yes. [laughter]

Now, the the salt shaker is off limits,

but the salt

I wish I'd thought this through.

>> I think I get what you mean, though.

Like the the lamp is uh is the hotels,

but the bulbs.

>> Oh, you already got that.

>> Not my first time in a hotel, my friend.

>> Okay. Uh how about this?

>> No, no, no. You can't take the remote

control.

>> Yes, but the batteries.

[applause]

>> Thank you. Thank you very much.

>> Let's Let's celebrate with some maple

candy.

>> No.

>> At least tell me where you hit it.

>> Here's your copy of the bill. We hope

you enjoyed your stay.

>> Oh, we did. And you still have all your

lamps.

[laughter]

Oh, I didn't factor in the room tax.

>> Oh, dude, don't worry about it. Uh, I

found an unattended maid's card. We're

way ahead of the game.

[laughter]

>> Oh my god.

>> What?

>> There's There's something new in the

bowl.

>> Look, we have enough. Just walk away.

>> Oh, but I I want I want the pine cones.

[laughter]

>> There's a forest right outside.

>> It's not the same. Okay, go quick.

GO. [laughter]

>> Thank you for a delightful stay.

>> My maple candy.

[laughter]

[music]

>> Hi.

>> Hey.

>> Hey.

>> So, what's the final head count on my

baby shower?

>> About 20. A couple of people from work

had something else to do. Also, both of

your sisters called and neither can make

it.

>> What you mean they're not coming to a

social event where there's no men and no

booze? That's shocking.

>> Well, I don't care as long as my mom's

here.

>> Oh my god. Your mother.

>> What? My mom's not going to be here?

>> Well, given that we forgot to invite

her, it would be an awfully big

coincidence if she was. [laughter]

>> My god. Well, if it wasn't my fault,

Phoebe was in charge of the invitations.

Well, I don't I don't have a mother. So

often I forget that other

>> I'll give it a rest.

>> So my mother is not coming to my baby

shower.

>> No,

neither is mine.

>> You know what? Don't worry, okay? We'll

take care of it. We'll call her. You

just go home and get ready.

>> Please make sure she comes. It's really

important to me. I mean, it's my mom.

>> I know. I know. What's her number?

>> I don't know.

>> Go. I have my book. Go.

Wait a minute. If you're in charge of

the invitations, why am I the one who

had to call her? Hello, Mrs. Green. Hi.

Uh, it's Monica Geller.

>> Oh, hello, Monica.

>> Hi. Um, I know this is last minute, but

we we've decided to throw an impromptu

baby shower for Rachel today.

>> I know. My daughters told me about it

when they received their impromptu

invitations a month ago.

>> I'm sorry. I'm I'm so sorry.

>> For what, dear?

>> For not inviting me or for lying about

it. [laughter]

>> Oh my god, my ass is sweating.

Please, please, can you come? It's It's

today at 4:00.

>> Well, all right. I'll see you at 4.

Thank you.

>> Isn't it at 3? Son of a Listen, I

uh saw down at the hardware store they

got those designer tiles on sale if you

ever want to redo your bathroom floor.

>> What's wrong with my bathroom floor?

>> Nothing. It's just old and dingy, that's

all. [laughter]

>> I highly doubt that.

>> Oh, yeah. If you uh move your hamper,

you can see the color the tile used to

be.

>> Yeah. [laughter]

>> I can't live like this. What are we

going to do? What are we going to do?

>> Relax. Relax. Here, hold this. This old

stuff comes right up. I'll show you.

>> Little more than I wanted to see.

[laughter]

>> Look at that. Every inch of this is

glued down. It take forever to pry this

up. You should uh you should just leave

it. [laughter]

>> I can't leave it. YOU GOUCHED A HOLE IN

MY dingy floor.

There you go. A

>> Monica. Monica, look at this lamp. Is

this tacky or what? We have to have

this.

>> Ra, I think we have enough regular

lamps.

>> What? Oh, come on. I mean, it's it's not

like a It's not like I'm asking for this

girly clock or anything, which by the

way, I also think is really cool.

>> It doesn't go with any of my stuff.

Well, what about my stuff?

>> You don't have any stuff. [laughter]

>> You still think of it as your apartment,

don't you?

>> No.

>> Yes, you do. You think of it as your

apartment, and I'm just someone who

rents a room.

>> Okay. While you m on that for a while,

I'm going to go find a place for my new

land. [laughter]

[music]

Hey, Ra. You know what we hadn't played

in a while? What? Hide the lamp.

[laughter]

>> Hey, Monica, let it go.

Did you know I was allergic to

shellfish? Well, then you'll just have

to eat the other lamps. [laughter]

>> [laughter]

>> Okay. All right. It was an accident. I

swear. All right. I I was I WAS PUTTING

ON MY JACKET AND and the thing and and

the and the lamp and and it broke.

>> Oh, please, Monica. You've always hated

my lamp and now all of a sudden it's

just magically it's just broken. Phoebe,

tell her. Okay. I didn't see it cuz I

was putting on my jacket, but um I want

to believe you.

>> Hey, Chandler. Monica just broke my

seashell lamp.

>> Neat. I'm gonna die alone.

Okay, you win.

>> Oh, what you got there? Something else

that's not yours that you can break?

[laughter]

>> No. Um, I know you like this and I I

want you to have it. I think it'll look

good in our apartment.

>> Thank you.

Okay, let's see. Okay, the turkeyy's in

the oven. The stuffing is ready.

>> You know, you always cook this meal all

by yourself. Let me help this year.

>> A Chandler, that's sweet. But you don't

have to do everything Dr. Phil tells you

to do.

>> I'm serious. Let me do something. Just

not the turkey or the stuffing. Nothing

highprofile.

[laughter]

>> Oh, the cranberry sauce. It's easy to

make and no one really cares about it.

Tell me more.

>> Okay, I'm going to go check on something

across the hall. You start by washing

these.

>> Not with soap.

[laughter]

>> You obviously haven't tasted my Palm

Olive potatoes.

>> Great.

You get anything that's not Ralph

Lauren?

[laughter]

>> Yeah, I don't think so, Joe.

All right, I guess this will be fine.

>> Hey, [laughter] listen. Uh, what are you

what are you doing tonight?

>> Not that much.

>> How would you feel about taking out my

assistant tag? I'll pay.

>> I got to say, it's going to take a lot

of money for me to go out on a date with

a dude.

>> I'm not asking you to go on a date with

him.

>> Really? Cuz I could kind of use the

money. [laughter]

>> Joey, just just He's new in town and I

know he doesn't have any guy friends.

Just take him to like a ball game or

something. I'd really appreciate it.

>> Yeah. Okay. Sure. No problem.

>> Thank you.

>> Oh, hey, donuts.

[applause]

>> Hey,

>> dude. Some guy just called for you.

>> Who was it?

>> I don't know. How about thanks for

taking the message, Jesus.

[laughter]

>> Hey, listen. You know, when you move in,

Rachel's room's going to be empty. You

want to talk about what we want to do

with it?

>> Sure.

>> Okay. I was thinking we should have a

beautiful guest room, right? With um a

mahogany sleigh bed and bedside tables

with flowers on it all the time. And

then we can have like a roll top desk

with little comment cards so people can

tell us how much they love staying here.

>> Hey, whatever. You know, I really

haven't thought about it that much.

>> Well, I like that idea, obviously.

But I was thinking maybe maybe it could

be a game room, you know? I mean, you

can buy old arcade games like uh like

Space Invaders and Asteroids for $200.

The real ones. The big big big ones.

>> No.

>> Okay. So, you mean no as in G Chandler?

What an interesting idea. Let's discuss

it before we reject it completely.

>> Oh, I'm sorry. Of course.

Yes. Interesting idea. Um, talk about

it. But no. [laughter]

>> So, that's it. Well, I just don't think

that, you know, arcade games go in the

beautiful guest room. The beautiful

guest room is going to be filled with

antiques,

>> which is why Asteroids is perfect. It's

the oldest game.

>> What do you have against the beautiful

guest room?

>> Nothing. I don't have anything against

the beautiful guest room, especially

since everybody that we know lives about

30 seconds away. [laughter]

>> Are you mocking me?

>> No, I'm not mocking you or your

beautiful game.

Hey, what's up?

>> Nothing. Monica and I had a stupid

fight.

>> But you're still moving in together,

right? Cuz my ad came out today.

>> Wanted female roommate. Non-smoker, non

ugly.

>> Rachel, what are you doing? It's

freezing out here. Would you come back

inside?

>> No, no, no, no, no. You wanted me to

take him down, so

I'm taking him down. Okay,

Rachel, I'm okay. I'm okay.

>> Mr. Eckles.

Mr. Hickles, could you could you help

me, please?

>> See, this is just the kind of thing I

was talking about.

[laughter]

>> What are you guys doing?

>> Try it. I can't feel a thing. [laughter]

>> Are you kidding? [laughter]

>> This is packing.

>> We're taking a break

>> from

>> jumping on the bed.

[laughter]

>> All right. Rachel's party is in a couple

of hours and there's a lot to do. Now,

Ross, you've got Geller Blood. You're in

charge of these yahoos.

>> You got it.

>> All right.

>> All right. She's right. We got to get

serious. Let's put styrofoam peanuts

down his pants and kick him.

>> Boyfriend has been in there for over an

hour. Can't believe it. It's like I'm

living with him again. He's here when I

go to sleep. He's here when I wake up.

HE'S HERE WHEN I want to use the shower.

Feel like I'm 16 all over again.

>> Well, you're not 16. You're both ADULTS

NOW.

>> GET OUT, YOU DOOFUS.

>> Or you know he's rubber and you're glue.

All yours.

>> I hope you cleaned your hair out of the

drain.

>> I hope you clean your hair out of the

drain.

>> Shut up.

>> Shut up.

>> Cut it out. Me.

>> I've never wanted you more.

>> I want to watch Entertainment Tonight.

>> Tough noogies. We're watching Predators

of the Serengeti.

>> Would you guys stop? It's my TV.

>> Quit it.

>> Bite me.

>> Oh my god.

>> Well, Monica keeps changing the channel.

>> Oh, that's great. Why don't you tell

mommy on me? [laughter]

>> Now I'm mommy in this little play. All

right, look. I refuse to get sucked into

this like weird little Geller dimension

thing. Okay, so I'm going to go and take

a nice long hot bubble bath because you

kids are driving me crazy.

What [music] are you doing? I uh

reorganized the fridge. See? Uh bottom

shelf meats and dairy. Middle shelf

fruits and vegetables.

And top shelf expired products.

[laughter]

>> Why are you doing this?

>> Because I am bored. Out of my mind. I've

already been to the bank, the post

office, and the dry cleaners. Dude, you

just described 7 days worth of stuff.

[laughter]

>> You got to spread it out a little, you

know. Haven't you ever been unemployed?

>> Hey, I am not unemployed. I'm on

sbatical.

>> Hey, don't get religious on me, okay?

[laughter]

A guy in your position needs to be a

little better at relaxing, you know.

What? Why do you think we have the

comfortable chairs? Huh? Look, come

here. Sit down.

Ready? Watch. OH, COME.

SO WHAT? WE JUST SIT. OH, NO. NO. We're

not going to just sit. Watch.

>> Hello, Chandler Bing.

>> Hello, Mr. Bing. [laughter] I love you.

>> All right. Whoever this is, stop calling

me. [laughter]

>> IT'S BEEN 6 MONTHS. IT'S NOT FUNNY.

>> But I love you.

>> Leave me alone. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD,

LEAVE ME ALONE. [laughter]

>> And that's Wednesday.

Key Vocabulary

Vocabulary	Meanings
ready /ˈred.i/ A2	adjective - prepared for something
beautiful /ˈbjuː.tɪ.fəl/ A2	adjective - pleasing the senses or mind aesthetically
straight /streɪt/ A2	adverb - without turning or bending
pretty /ˈprɪ.ti/ A2	adjective - attractive in a delicate way
floor /flɔːr/ A2	noun - the bottom surface of a room
carpet /ˈkɑːr.pɪt/ A2	noun - a thick woven material used as floor covering
snacks /snæks/ A2	noun - small amounts of food eaten between meals
rest /rest/ A2	verb - to cease work or movement in order to relax
talking /ˈtɔː.kɪŋ/ A2	verb - the process of communicating through speech
hostess /ˈhɒs.tɪs/ B1	noun - a woman who receives or entertains guests
glamour /ˈɡlæm.ər/ B1	noun - attractive or fascinating power or effect
coincidence /ˌkoʊ.ɪn.sɪ.dəns/ B1	noun - a remarkable concurrence of events or circumstances without apparent causal connection
laundry /ˈlɔːn.dri/ A2	noun - the activity of washing clothes and linen
attracted /əˈtræktɪd/ B1	verb - to cause to come or be drawn closer
fluffy /ˈflʌf.i/ A2	adjective - light and airy
problem /ˈprɒb.ləm/ A2	noun - a matter or situation regarded as unwelcome or harmful and needing to be dealt with and overcome
virgin /ˈvɜːr.dʒɪn/ B1	noun - a person who has never had sexual intercourse adjective - unused or untouched

Key Grammar Structures

• >> I don’t know. It looks the same. You used to have carpet.

  ➔ Used to

  ➔ The phrase "used to" highlights a past habit or state that no longer exists.

• >> Oh, no, no, no. Stay, stay, stay. Just keep talking.

  ➔ Imperative form with repetition

  ➔ The repeated imperative "stay" emphasizes urgency and insistence.

• >> You uh you want to hear a freakish coincidence? Guess who's doing laundry there, too?

  ➔ Tag question

  ➔ The tag question "Guess who's doing laundry there, too?" invites the listener to engage.

• >> I’m sorry. Is that your basket? Yes. It's really pretty.

  ➔ Apology and compliment

  ➔ The apology "I'm sorry" is followed by a compliment to soften the tone.

• >> You got the clothes clean. Now that's the important part.

  ➔ Emphatic sentence

  ➔ The sentence uses "Now that's the important part" to emphasize the main point.

• >> I’m just easing you in. All right. You see these little flower blossoms?

  ➔ Phrasal verb (easing in)

  ➔ The phrasal verb "easing you in" means introducing something gradually.

• >> I hope you cleaned your hair out of the drain.

  ➔ Passive voice

  ➔ The passive voice "I hope you cleaned your hair out of the drain" shifts focus to the action.

• >> You're not 16. You're both adults now.

  ➔ Contrast using "not...now"

  ➔ The contrast "You're not 16...now" highlights the change in status.