– English Lyrics

Lyrics & Translation

[English]

I want chilies.

I want Applebees.

Isn't that the same thing?

How dare you? This is a hot dog as a

sandwich.

Ketchup is a smoothie.

Yeah, I put ice in my cereal. So what?

That makes no sense.

A hot dog is a sandwich.

A hot dog is a sandwich.

What?

Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a

Sandwich. The show we break down the

world's biggest food debates. I'm your

host, Josh Shar.

And I'm your host, Nicole. And I

And Nicole, that was a very

controversial and brave thing that you

said. There's no difference.

There has Okay, what we're about to find

out is if there is a difference.

There's no difference between the two

restaurants.

Let's break down why we have all of this

stuff in front of us, right? So, we did

a podcast about a month back. We did a

podcast some time back. Who knows how

time works anymore.

I don't.

About how apparently I how any time

works.

About how Gen Z saved Chili. You were

sick for this one. We had Trevor come in

and sub in as the official Gen Z

representative that we have here. And

Chili's has been on this like massive

cultural wave and renaissance lately.

It really has been. It's so impressive.

Literally like up 30% over the last

year, up 50% over the last 3 years.

Which leads the question, porcho

Applebees.

I I No one talks about Applebees. It's

all chili all the time. And maybe we

need to change that.

Porceno manzanabes.

No. How do you say bee in Spanish?

How do you say like a bumblebee?

Megita por favore translation on Google.

said bumblebee in Spanish. But because

in my mind, apple bees and chilies are a

little bit the same thing. But this

pastor ao

abbeoro

abberoro

aboro

abberoro mansana mansana de a aboro

I also kind of view Applebees and

chilies as the same thing.

They aren't they both like

Applebees does not repax per se. Chili

does, but they but they do obviously

because they have cas. That's also just

kind of like American food at this

point.

At this point, quesadilla is a

quesadilla.

You know what I mean? Um, but there's a

reason that when Valentine's Day 2025

rolled around, Julie and I never thought

about going to Applebee's. We thought

about going to Chili's. So, this I think

will answer the question of is the

Chili's Renaissance merely because of

marketing? Is it because of Jenz's weird

postironic

kind of uh fake nostalgia for the early

2000s and Chili's just happened to like

be the one that they chose? or is there

an actual difference because Chili's did

some menu revamping and a lot of quality

control and I want to see if it pays

off.

You don't know if Applebee's did any of

that?

Not to my knowledge or at least it

wasn't as heavily publicized cuz they've

been running their own specials, right?

The two for 25 at Applebee's. Everyone

knows I saw an ad for that last night

and it was what a great ad. 10 out of 10

ad on that.

Yeah.

What are you seeing from the visual

differences cuz tell us about the food

that we have. So, I would say I'll say

this. Out of all of the portions, I will

say that the Applebee's portions that

are on Josh's size side are much smaller

than the Chili's

portion sizes. What we have in front of

us is appetizers,

a rack of ribs, a burger and fries, and

a dessert.

Before the food gets completely cold, we

should

It's cold. It's ice cold. I'm sorry. I

heated it up. I Let me tell you what

happened. I was heating it up. I had a

hot hot flash. had to take my shirt off.

Literally, our former director, Ben, had

to help me microwave stuff cuz I was

literally suffering.

Oh, I'm sorry. It's fine. I've been

there.

I don't know where you Where are you

ever?

I don't know.

Where are you now that I need you?

I don't know the song. Let's dig into

the appetizers, though. Let's jump in.

We have Chili's Triple Dipper over

there.

Yes.

Tell us about what we got in the Triple

Dip.

The Triple Dipper. It has boneless

buffalo wings. Are you okay?

I dipped my arm into the chocolate

icing. I triple dipped my whole forearm

into the fudge icing.

Let me Let me shellac it off.

Do you want me to eat it?

Did it make it worse? No. I know. I

don't want you to do that.

Nicole is scraping chocolate frosting

off of my forearm with the blade of a

dull knife.

Tell them about the appetizers while I

wipe myself down.

Okay. So, from both places. So, so from

Chili's we have boneless buffalo wings,

mozzarella sticks. They're Southwest egg

rolls. And then on the Applebee side, we

have mozzarella sticks, boneless buffalo

wings, some celery, and a quesadilla.

If you look at the mozzarella sticks

from chilies, these are not sticks.

These are gigantic logs. These are

planks.

And when they're actually hot and fresh

at the store,

but can I tell you something? I think

mozzarella sticks are so overrated. I

love the planks. The planks do a good

job.

I agree. And the planks give you such a

massive cheese pull and such a

satisfying dunk. These are one of those

things that is like a very a very it's

become a hallmark for the Chili's car

eating social media posting experience.

Mhm.

I will say the thing about mozzarella

sticks that irks me is that the cheese

doesn't taste like anything. It's a very

very bland cheese. Good stretch, zero

flavor. Now what I want us to do is one

day

come up with a cheese that's flavorful

that has the same amount of stretch as

mozzarella.

Oh, that's interesting. What if you

marinated a feel like we talked about

doing this one day and we never did like

heavily marinating a

m I think we made a show about it.

Did we?

Oh no.

I don't like it.

Mozzarella stick for mozzarella stick.

Chili's it even looks better. It looks

handbredded. I I I don't know if it is.

I'm not sure if this is being done in

the store in a factory.

Yeah,

the chili's one like looks like

something homemade. You go to your

Italian American friend's house,

right? His mama.

They're not doing it.

Mama Jeppa domino,

right? Juice

Jeppa Domino.

That is such a fake name.

That's one of my favorite Trevor bits

where he talks about talks about Mama

Domino.

Mhm.

How she makes a good pizza.

Her first name is Jeppa.

I've named her Jeppa. Um the mozzarella

in the Chili's one feels like more of a

proper like whole milk or moisture moss.

Whereas the one inside

Applebees tastes like freaking string

cheese.

Tastes like Costco.

Tastes like tastes like tastes like

string cheese to me. This seems like

string cheese logs they breaded.

Really disappointing. That's

interesting.

Really disappointing.

Okay, move on to the boneless wings.

Okay,

these are boneless buffalo wings,

right?

Sorry, there's no ranch.

That's kind of dipping it in marinara.

There is ranch. I just don't know where

it is. That's fine.

What are you What are you tasting in the

chili boneless wing?

Nothing.

I mean, boneless buffalo wings I could

just eat all day. To me, it's like the

perfect seasoned food

really. That is so underwhelming for me.

In what way?

The chilies. It It has no sauce. It has

absolutely baked into the actual like

outside crust.

I like that.

No, I don't like that. I need a little

bit of I need a little bit of I I'm down

with the sogg. I have no problem with

the sogg. It's the flavor of said sogg.

There is no flavor in said sogg.

The Applebee's ones look more heavily

seasoned.

They look so much better. And they have

a little bit They have more of a buffalo

taste. Much more of a buffalo taste.

Which one of these tastes more like it

just came out of a freezer bag?

Applebees.

It does, right? But the seasoning is

better on it.

The seasoning is better, but it kind of

tastes more

The chicken is better

processed.

The chicken is better at chilies. The

seasoning is better at applebe.

Which one of these boneless buffalo

wings would you rather eat?

I would rather eat Applebee's because it

tastes better.

I would rather eat chilies.

I disagree.

It feels like there's better quality

control. It feels like a person made it

and you care about that.

We don't

a little bit

a little bit. When you go to a

restaurant, right? Like if you are just

getting Applebees and chilies work on

such massive scales, right? I remember

maybe the worst restaurant meal of my

life was at the College Station

Applebees. Do you know College Station?

Never heard of College Station.

It's where Texas A&M University is.

There is, forgive me for all the College

Station nights out there. Nothing else

in the area other than College Station

Texas and Texas&M University.

Wait, it's a city. College Station USA.

City is called College Station Texas.

That's right. Texas A&M as the

agricultural and military university.

Okay.

And I went to an Applebee's there and I

ordered I was trying to get some like

protein. It was when I was on the track

and field team

and I ordered a steak and it was just an

unidentifiable cut that did not exist

anywhere.

Glue galore.

Well, I cannot explain to you.

So, like when you're working at those

scales, it's so hard to get this

consistency without it just being like a

factory

shipping frozen stuff to a store. So,

you're kind of like working in this

weird dynamic where by definition, if

you want consistency, it has to be

pre-made. But also, people don't just

want to show up to a restaurant and feel

like they're being given something that

was heated up out of a bag.

Apparently, the chains wings are voted

America's favorite boneless swing in a

blind taste test in early 202.

No, Applebees.

Applebees.

I'm telling you, the Applebee's flavor

knocks it out of the park.

You just don't like the texture of it.

Maybe I got a kind of gristly one.

Maybe you got a gristly one.

You can see how much more like white

meat there is, which normally that's not

that important to It's not important to

me in buff in any sort of boneless

buffalo wing. But for some reason, you

think it's it's important.

I don't know. Let's move on to their um

what would you call this?

This is an egg roll.

Well, it's not an egg roll. So, chili

southwest egg roll. It's in a tortilla,

right?

Is it? What a fun food.

This is a tortilla. This is called a

chim chunga.

Oh, what a fun food.

And then a southwestern chimmy chonga is

redundant.

This is just a little chimmy chunga.

It's filled with what? Spinach, cheese,

uh, uh, corn, black beans,

all the delicious things. This is a

hallmark. This is OG chilies. This is

like what made chilies.

Absolutely delicious.

It reeks so heavily of cumin. I love it.

So cumin. Whatever R&D chef made this.

Brava. Delicious.

You know what it is? It's the roasted

red pepper, corn, and black bean combo.

That was like every single 1990s

southwest something. Taco Bell even had

a chalupa that had like black beans and

corn in it.

Southwest chalupa.

Santa Fe Chalupa.

That's so funny.

Back in the day.

RIP. This is delicious. What What What

do we have here from the Applebees?

It's a quesadilla stuffed with tomato,

onion, cilantro, and chicken.

Do you remember what they call this?

Which is like southwestern delight

quesadilla.

I'm going to look it up right now.

It doesn't hold a candle. It can't.

Completely different.

Entirely different.

Absolutely. Warm tortilla with chipotle

lime chicken, blend of melted cheddar

cheeses, and I see tomato, onion, and

cilantro in here.

So, the triple dipper combo from

Chili's. Also, do you know there's no

combo

customizable? It's customizable.

It's customizable, too, which is fun.

That gives people like a feeling of

control.

Mhm.

You know, it's it's it's it was

responsible for something like 16% of

their entire store sales, which is crazy

considering they have

100 items on that freaking menu.

Um, and there's a lot of liquor sales.

Mhm.

And I understand why. like it is really

well done. The mozzarella sticks are

fantastic. I think the Buffalo the

boneless buffalo wings are great. The

sauce are good. The Southwest egg rolls

an icon. Nothing to me from Applebees.

The the boneless wings are good. I'll

give you that.

Yeah.

Like they're tasty.

But you go like tortilla southwest

product for tortilla southwest product.

Ms. For ms

chilies to me like smokes it. The triple

dipper is the truth. There's so much

care and detail that went into this,

and you can taste it, which you don't

always expect from a joint like

Applebee's or Chili's, but Chili's

knocks out of the park. The triple

dipper absolutely beats out the

Applebee's appetizer combo.

What a treat. Appetizer round.

Chili's wins and away.

I It's It's always really heartening to

me.

Okay, put that over there.

When someone

when a big fast food chain like tries to

make sweeping food changes and it pays

off.

Sure. Yeah, it's always impressive.

Talk a lot about the Domino's 2008 menu

revamp.

Sure.

Should we eat some burgers?

My body is really

So, the burgers were another part of

Chili's of Chili's revamp, right?

Where they were like, we want to compete

with fast food because fast food's so

expensive. So, Chili's really attacked

the fast food industry saying like,

"Hey,

come into Chili's for a sitown meal.

We'll treat you like a human." And our

burgers cost $10 and a fast food burger

cost $8 now,

right?

You know what I mean? The Chili's burger

is called the oldtimer burger and the

Applebee's burger is called the

neighborhood burger. Isn't that so

sweet?

I'm g cut this Applebee's burger out.

Go ahead. It looks like the Applebee's

burger is a double patty.

Double smash burger at Applebee's.

Look at that. Who would have fun?

Chili's also has a smash burger. We

didn't get it right.

No, we got I went off of names.

I went off of names because I'm sorry,

oldtimer burger and the neighborhood

burger. That's the same burger.

I agree with that. I agree with that.

Yeah. It also kind of looks a little

smashy.

Chili's burger looks nice, right?

The Chili's burger is wide.

Bring back wide ass bar burgers.

It is a wide set burger.

Okay.

What are you going to eat first?

I'm going Applebee's.

Okay.

So, they tried to smash. They got the

heavy lace.

Uh-huh.

On the outside, but

the patties aren't smashed thin enough.

So, to me, you kind of get a little bit

the worst of both worlds where you're

smashing all the juice out of a thick

patty, and it's only the outsides that

are crispy. Not only that, look at this

like weird crust on the bottom of just

like old grill.

It's giving grayge. It's giving grayge.

I'm not gray.

It's gray and beige.

Still tastes pretty decent. I like the

pickle pop. I like the pickle that they

use.

Mhm.

Meat tastes fine.

There are these funny things in food.

Mhm.

Where like

it's in the margins, right? It's in It's

the devil's in the details for certain

things. Like a smash burger. The reason

you love a smash burger isn't just

because you're like smashing it and

getting the lacy crust, whatever, but

it's because you're then smashing it

thin because a smash burger by

definition is going to lose moisture. So

that like crispiness

needs to like overcome it.

More press. There's not enough press.

Too much rest or it's in between. It's

in a It's in a bad middle, right? It's

in shape.

Yeah. Hey, Applebees, smash them down a

little bit harder.

What about the fries? Cuz Chili's put a

lot of time into revamping their fries.

There's a whole story about the salt.

Those taste pretty good.

Applebee's fries taste delicious.

Not a bad fry.

Not a bad fry.

They do.

Chili's fries.

They look eerily similar.

I don't like that.

You don't like chili fries? Chili's

fries are bigger. And I think they cut

down on their amount.

Bigger doesn't always mean better for

French fries.

No, it doesn't. This is what I'd want,

though. This tastes like a freshly fried

fry. It's actually less salty, which is

funny because they they changed up the

way they salt their fries to get more

salt on them.

You know what I'm learning about me and

you? I like the flavors and you like the

pure expression of the food.

Are you sure about that?

You just Yeah, because this the

seasoning on the Applebee's fry is much

better than the seasoning

on the chili fry. But the cook on the

chili fry is better than the Applebee's

cook.

I think to me, you know what I'm

actually looking for? What?

I'm looking for a difference between

this and fast food.

Why?

Because I think the fast casual

restaurant, like the thing that it

occupied for me

was to be that fancy sitdown restaurant

where you're treated like a human,

right? Where you can walk in for if you

only have a budget of 20 bucks a person.

You can walk in for like a graduation,

right? For a pre-p prom dinner, for a

birthday when times are tight, and you

can have somebody come up to you and

smile at you

and say like, "Hey, would you like to

try our special?" and go, "Oh my god,

it's 2 for 25. Yay." That's a different

relationship than going into like a

Carl's Jr. being like, "Let me eat my

burger alone in this corner or in my

car."

Sure.

And so for like a fry, like I I want

like a big

thick fry. I don't want it to taste like

fast food.

I don't know. I'm I'm so I'm so like

torn because I understand where you're

coming from, but I don't I don't love

the thickness. I don't need my fries

thick.

I don't need them to be like this thick

potatoey center.

Yeah. Yeah. I kind of appreciate the

light crisp of a smaller fry.

Different strokes for different folks on

that one. The burger is interesting

because the sm the double smash is very

much meant to be a fast food burger,

right?

This is like a proper like diner bar

burger at Chili's.

I just got a huge bite of tomato.

Look how juicy that

ruined my whole day.

What do you mean?

Oh my god. It was all tomato. No

seasoning, no flavor.

The cook on the burger is really nice

with chilies.

The cook is good, but there's no

seasoning on it. Zero zilch nada.

The human error, dude. That's the human

error. Like, if you're cooking your food

fast

and you like that.

No, no, no, no, no. I I'm saying this is

bad.

This is bad.

The burger is not good. I think if this

burger patty was seasoned well, I think

it'd be solid.

Yeah.

But yeah, there's not an ounce of

seasoning on that meat.

That's really disappointing.

It makes the whole thing fall flat.

Would you take that Apple Bees burger

over the Chili's burger?

Yes. Any day. That ch That Chili's

burger was disappointing. Absolutely

disappointing.

I think it's better constructed. I think

it's a better constructed burger.

No way. Are you going to give the point

to Chili's for an unseasoned burger

patty right now?

We give it to We give it to Applebee's.

It belongs the point to Applebees.

It belongs to Applebees. No, be real.

The salt factor and the taste factor is

I would rather eat the Chili's burger

than the Applebee's burger.

Stop it. I don't How are you How are you

like this,

dude? Try this burger.

Okay,

it's not a good burger.

They're neither of them are good

burgers. Neither of them are good.

But at least just tastes like meat. I

just taste like burger.

It's a fair point.

That just tastes like cow.

What do you mean? What do you mean this

tastes like burger? That tastes like

cow.

Burger and Okay.

Burger is cow.

No way. Applebee's takes this.

I accept. I accept that Applebee's taste

it.

Dude, there's an aftertaste in that

burger.

You bite this and you're like, I just

ate a big bowl of gray. I don't know why

gray is on my mind so much.

Baby back.

My baby back. Baby back. Baby, I want my

baby back. Baby, I want my baby back.

Chilies,

baby back ribs,

a barbecue sauce.

There it is.

This is what they're known for. I don't

think I've eaten baby back ribs at

Chili's.

I don't think I've ever had ribs like

this. Oh my god. Oh my god. What are you

doing?

I'm trying to cut the ribs, but they're

tough.

Oh no.

Oh my. Here. Grab a double boner ribs.

Jesus.

A double boner for Nicole. Her favorite.

Oh my god, it's so dry.

Because of how iconic the Chili's baby

back ribs song is. I don't know anyone

that like goes to Chili for ribs, right?

That moment in time has passed. When do

you ever go to a restaurant for ribs? I

only go for barbecue. If I'm at a

barbecue joint, I'll go. There's a

couple like old school spots near me

that are like the sitown steakhouse

style that are like known for their

quote oven baked spare ribs.

Are those pork or beef?

Pork. M

glazian barbecue sauce. And I would

never order them. I think it's like of a

different era.

Yeah, I agree.

The type of person who's like, "Oh,

we're going out to this nice steakhouse

for their oven baked spare ribs." Like,

no one does that.

Like, what is this, a Korean War, like

1953? You know, I'm looking forward to

the nuclear age. This is bizarre. Um,

no. If you want ribs, you go to a

barbecue spot.

Exactly.

Are these um

love the flavor?

Flavor's good.

That is good. That sauce is dimensional.

Multi-dimensional. Applebees has a good

sauce.

Applebee's knows what it's doing.

How much better do the chili ribs look

than the Applebee's ribs?

20 times better.

So much better.

So much better. They're not desiccated.

Yeah. Will they rip? Oh, hi.

That's how ribs should rip. Apple I mean

chilies.

Another

Okay. This is where

Come on. This is where the cook

absolutely trumps any sort of flavor.

Yeah, I do agree. The apple bees are

better seasoned.

The apple bees, dude, their seasoning

game is on lock. Their cook time is just

all wrong.

It's so wrong that the the Apple be ribs

are so tough. So, they're but they're

dry and tough, which means they're both

cooked for too short and too long.

Too long.

Again, just like missing that sweet spot

where food is great.

Wow. The chilies chilis baby back ribs

and barbecue sauce. Maybe we should be

eating Chili's ribs. That's

I think we should go I think we should

go to Chili's, get their oven baked

spare ribs, you know, drinking

oldfashioned.

Are we going into war anytime soon?

Uh-oh.

Is America going into war? Write in the

comments if America's going to war soon.

If it is, by stocking ovenbaked spare

ribs,

cuz that's the time they boom, baby. Uh,

easy win for chilies, right?

Wow. Chilies. These ribs were crazy.

I I don't love ribs that like fall off

the bone. And these don't.

This is something that I've learned

about you. You like your ribs to have

some integrity.

Yeah. You got to be able to pick up a

rib and actually like eat it like a corn

cob. Right. I don't It's It's too easy

to make rib meat fall off the bone.

You're right.

Anyone can do it, right?

It's an art form to be able to get it

the way it's tender enough to rip off of

the bone with a little bit of action

from your teeth.

This is the the ribs at chilies are damn

near like my ideal cook on it. Applebees

too tough. It's like you're uh just like

ripping at it, trying to rip the flesh

off the bone. Chilies, good job.

Great job, Chili's. Chili's is two for

one right now.

Excuse me.

Chili's has two points. Applebee's has

one point.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Now we just got

dessert left.

Time for desserts.

Time for desserts.

I'm still eating my ribs. I didn't

The ribs are kind of like dessert.

I was in the middle of eating my lunch

and then I remembered that we were doing

this.

Oh yeah.

And I immediately just threw it in the

fridge. Said, "Nope, that's lit. That's

litter. That's dinner liner. I think all

the trans fats in the ribs are going to

my head.

Are you sure it's not wiping your body

with Lysol wipes?

Oh, this podcast brought to you podcast

brought to you by Lysol surface wipes

that I've been using on the surface of

my body.

Well, I'm using Great Value ones because

I like to ball on a budget.

Those ones were bought after Mythical

Company budget cuts.

Like no more name brand surface wipes

for the surface of Josh's hands.

I don't think wiping our hands with

Lysol wipes is good for us.

Ah, can't be.

But we keep doing it.

What are you going to do?

Nothing.

Why these look so different? These are

the same dessert.

Yeah, they're molten chocolate cake.

Both companies decided that

I did not get it. Alam mode. Sorry,

Josh.

No, I don't. I think Alamode desserts

are kind of really overrated.

Okay, that's ugly of you.

That's my hot take.

That's your hot take.

That's my hot take.

Okay. All mode is almost never as good

as you want it to be.

Let's see if this Applebee's molten

chocolate cake is This looks like it was

um You ever get the the desserts at

Carl's Jr.?

Never. I have a family that

I'm just kidding.

Let me rephrase that. I've eaten every

single dessert at Carl's Jr. So, um

they've one I think they have the best

handspun shakes in the game. Carl Jr.

did a really good job on revamping that.

Uh they've done some fun desserts like

the Pop-Tart ice cream sandwich is good,

but the old school Carl Jr. desserts are

just like piece of chocolate cake and

it's just like in a plastic unmarked bag

and they just like throw it at you. They

have like a strawberry cheesecake

and it looks like this.

Maybe it's made in the same facility.

It might be. But this this looks like

this was made in a factory that they put

in a microwave and put some sauces on,

right?

Yeah.

Why doesn't the Chili's cake look the

same? Am I being too generous to Chili's

right now?

I don't know what's wrong with you right

now.

I burp from the inside. That was a weird

feeling.

I feel like me and you are on drugs.

I We're not on drugs. We're on chilies,

baby.

I don't do pot. I do triple dipper

combos.

You're out here freebasing? Well, I'm

out here free baking up my chili, molten

chocolate cake, having a great time with

my friends. That's what I'm doing.

When's your birthday? June. No. April.

Damn, man. Hey, April 25th. I have no

idea when your birthday is. It's in May.

Your birthday's in May.

Yeah, you're 19th.

No,

you're a Gemini.

Yeah, but you're a Taurus. And but you

don't care about that. Um, we should

have your next birthday at Chili's.

No, I won't go cheese.

You want to shut down Chili's for your

birthday?

That would actually be really cool. How

much does it cost to shut down in

Chilies?

I'm sure you can find it. Why don't you

just tell corporate?

Corporate who?

Corporate Chilies.

What do you mean I just tell corporate

chilies? Who do you think I know?

[email protected]

would like to shut down whole restaurant

near Enino Commons for birthday, please.

Yeah, you

Yeah, the one near the Michaels.

Close mouths. Don't get fed.

What do you think of the cake?

Yum,

right? Yum. Why would I complain about

that?

It's the only thing it's missing.

Vanilla ice cream.

Yeah, it's a fair point. Um, chilies.

This one looks

This looks like a British pudding.

It does look like a British pudding. Is

this a caramel sauce or is this a

chocolate sauce?

It is both.

It's a caramel chocolate sauce.

It is separate both.

What?

It is a caramel sauce and a chocolate

sauce.

Interesting. This cake looks It looks

more homemade. Why?

Oh, yeah.

Not even a question.

No. So much better.

Oh, it's so much better.

It looks better.

It tastes better.

It tastes better. There's man, there's

something that happens to restaurants

where like I'm sure every single person

at Applebees when they were first

starting out had the intention of like

we're making good food for people,

right?

At some point it's like it's what

happened to Chipotle, you know, where

all one neuroirus and lististeria and

ecoli outbreak and suddenly

it's over.

Our whole our whole ethos was we cook

everything fresh in store. Suddenly you

got to start pre-cooking your steaks at

a commissary facility in Long Island.

Really disappointing. and you got to

start just sending them out pre-cooked

because you're like, "We can't take that

risk." At some point, you kind of like

look back

at all the foods you made and went,

"God, this is all just factory food."

But I think if you're like Chili's, you

can try and like reverse that. I'm sure

all of this I'm sure between Chili and

Applebees, they're probably getting

equal amounts of food that are just

shipped in frozen in bags or from other

third party bakeries, whatever.

But Chili's made you feel like the magic

is still there.

Absolutely.

And it's that trickery and chicainery

that I'm really looking for in a in a

chain restaurant.

I mean, I would go back for the ribs and

a triple dipper.

Mhm.

And this cake. I would go back for those

things.

I I really would, which is crazy because

remember how everyone was like, "Oh,

Mill, what is Did they say Gen Z was

killing uh chain restaurants?"

No, Millennials, we killed all the

chains.

They said we killed the chains. But now,

as a millennial, I think it's our job to

bring them back. I think it's only fair.

I won't go to Applebee's because they

lost abysmally. Chili's, you deserve all

the hype. You really do.

You know what I was thinking about the

other day?

Um that one time in 2015 when there were

random clowns running around uh scaring

people.

Oh, I was.

Yeah, I know you were.

I was. But I'm not I'm not afraid of

clowns.

I'm not afraid of clowns either. I'm

afraid of the people dressing up as

clowns terrorizing people at night.

Same. If anything, I'm I'm

disproportionately attracted to clowns.

Yeah. You think clowns are hot? Some

hot clowns are hot.

Crusty.

Not Crusty. No. I like him because he's

a good businessman. But Andy's Jewish.

The Jewish. I was going to say I was

going to say

No, I was going to say like our parents'

generation lamented the fact that mom

and pop stores on main street on main

streets were losing out to the big

chains. I thought about this when the

Joann's Fabrics near me closed and I was

like, "Oh, not Jo-Ann's. That was my

childhood." then realized how weird it

was that I was lamenting like a large

chain that was responsible for closing

out along a lot of local fabric stores,

right, that our parents hated. And then

now our generation is like not Jo-Ann's,

my sacred safe space, losing out to

online giants like Amazon or whomever,

you know, and so it's kind of weird to

like feel this affinity for these

gigantic chain restaurants who are doing

literally $4.5 billion dollars in sales

as like underdogs. But I would rather

root for them

than a what? A ghost kitchen. No, you

know what I mean?

I think I think as we are getting

further and further away from

God.

I was going to say hospitality.

Yeah.

And I I guess it's is it D to C? Is that

direct to consumer?

Like it's becoming more like that or is

it becoming what I'm trying to say is

the humanness of sitting down at eating

at a restaurant is an important thing

that I don't want to lose. and eating

foods from places like Chili's,

Applebee's, Cheesecake Factory, CPK. I

don't want to I don't want it to miss. I

don't want it to leave. I can't have it

leave, you know? It breaks my heart to

think about

the fact that someone's saying, "Hey,

can I take your order today?

Oh, you're back again." Like, I really

Mhm.

I feel like I'm really going to miss

that in like 15 years whenever I'm

getting my food to go from Mr. Beast's

Emporium Sigorium. You know what I mean?

It's really upsetting. But this food

made me realize that we can find those

moments of like true human interaction

and we can enjoy it.

Mr. Beast Gorium's Wonderburger porium.

That's what it's called.

Yeah,

that's what it's called.

Yeah. I found God in this chili tonight.

Nicole.

Okay, Pam.

[Music]

All right, Nicole. Heard what you and I

have to say. Now it's time to find out

whether the wacky ring near the earth.

Time for the segment we call opinions

are like casserole.

[Music]

That's right, Nicole.

That's right.

I spit. I spit everywhere.

I don't feel so good.

I feel bad.

What the people missed was outside. So,

we cleaned up the table. We had a lot of

chilies and apple bees here. And then

what I went ahead and did is outside we

have a cart with all the stuff. There's

a little tub of There's a little tub of

spinach artich choke dip that we didn't

use.

I decided to not put in.

No, that was a good move. And so you

we'll eat it. We give it up. But what I

did is I took a corner of the burger,

the unseasoned one, and I said, "Well,

maybe maybe we can season it with

spinach artich choke dip." And so what I

went ahead and did is I

dipped that whole burger into the tub of

spinach artich choke dip. And then I bit

into it and then I went

and I sucked the spinach artich choke

dip through the

Listen, I'm down with a spinach artich

choke dip burger. Just season your damn

meat.

Okay, ready for the first opinion?

Let's do it.

Hey, Josh Nicole. My name's Rocco.

Calling from Madison, Wisconsin.

I have a question for Nicole.

What's a dish that you are looking

forward to teaching your child how to

cook? For me, I cannot wait to show my

2-year-old eventually how to make

homemade bread and homemade pasta. So

cute.

But yeah, what's uh what's something

that you're looking forward to teaching

uh teaching your your child how to uh

how to make at whatever age you might

be? Love you guys and uh love the show.

Hope you guys have a great day. Bye-bye.

Wow, great question. I've never thought

about this at all. I'm going to go ahead

and say lemonade stand. Is that Is that

bad?

What?

Lemonade stand. You ever did a lemonade

stand as a kid? You're excited to teach

your child how to make the dish Lemonade

Stand.

I thought I literally I thought Lemonade

Stand was like a regional dessert that I

wasn't familiar with.

You were so mean right now.

I'm not being mean.

No, it I want to teach cuz I grew up in

an apartment and my mom wasn't always

like, "Hey, go like she wasn't like,

"Hey, hang out at the corner." Like, you

know what I mean? So, I would like my

kid to have a lemonade stand outside of

their house and to understand like

dealing with people and talking with

people and making a good cup of

lemonade. Is that stupid? That's

literally my instinct.

A second answer. Spicy dude crispy rice.

You're a three-year-old child. Here's

how you put sticky rice into a deep

fryer.

Exactly.

I love that.

Chop it up faster. Faster. No. Um, I

thought they were going to ask, "What am

I looking forward to eating once I'm

done being pregnant?"

Spicy tuna crispy rice.

And let me tell you what I'm going to

do. Let me tell you what I'm going to

do. I'm going to have a margarita in one

hand. I'm going to have a deli sandwich

in the other hand. And with my left

foot, I'm going to hold a cigarette. And

then with my right foot, I'm going to

hold

another cigarette. bowl. Just a bowl of

spicy tuna, spicy salmon, and spicy

yellowtail on a bed of rice with some

avocado and some cucumbers. Literally,

you're literally those are my four

vices, and I'm just going to be passing

through each one every 15 minutes.

I need I need the camera to come here

because I want to tell you a little bit

about my lemonade stand base trauma. So,

we had a really incredible racket going

on. My dad worked at a 99 cent store in

Oceanside, California. And what he did

is, well, he would shoplift a bunch of

stuff from there. And so he would

shoplift the Country Time lemonade. He

would give it to me and my brother, pink

lemonade, and then we would mix that

with the appropriate amount of water and

then we would put that in a giant gallon

pitcher. And then we would sell cups of

lemonade for a dollar outside of the 99

cent store that he stole that from in

the first place. So he was stealing that

99 cent thing of Country Time Lemonade.

Me and my brother were turning that

probably into about 32 bucks. And that's

pure profit right there, baby. But then

the owner found out and he got really

mad at us because Yeah, we were like

stealing from him technically. So, I'm

probably never going to uh teach my kids

how to do a lemonade stand.

Hey, but what if you buy the Country

Time lemonade powder?

Yeah, but also I would I would want them

to make it fresh. I would want to be

like, "Hey, here's how

maybe fresh." Okay. Yeah, maybe it's

fresh. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah,

I don't know where I'm going to be at in

When do you sell lemonade as a child? 4

7

I'm saying the probably like 8 to 11

right now.

8 to 11. Yeah.

Younger. No. No. Younger. Maybe that's

when you started.

Younger. Yeah. We were probably like We

probably I was probably seven. My

brother's probably

I'll probably stand and watch them. I'm

not going to just let him hang out next

to the 99 cent store.

Yeah. We were there. No supervision.

Well, my dad was working inside, you

see. And so, we were outside.

I don't think that's how I'm going to do

it.

Yeah. You shouldn't.

I don't want to. But

every time I see a lemonade stand now, I

get a little bummed.

A Well, how about this? I'm going to

make a really cute stand. I'm going to

teach my daughter. I'm having a girl.

I'm going to teach her how to like build

it out and stuff. And she's going to

handw write the sign and all that stuff.

And then you can come get some lemonade

from her and it'll heal all of your

wounds if not one of them.

A it'll work.

One by one.

It'll work. Just have an open mind.

I will.

Therapy without paying anybody. That's

what this is.

The only person I'm paying is your

daughter for her lemonade.

Yeah. And she's not going to like

upcharge you. She'll be like, "Okay,

Uncle Josh." You know, it'll be fine.

Next question. It's longer than I

thought.

That'll be 02 E.

Hi. So, me and my sisters, I have three

sisters. And growing up, we used to get

those uh TV dinners. They were like the

banquet ones where it was fish

stickicks, mac and cheese, and chocolate

pudding.

Mhm. And my sister, she would mix all

three of them together and she would

insist that it was the best thing that

she's like ever had. And of course, me

and my other sister were very skeptical

and we were like, "Ew, that's so gross."

Until we tried it and it's amazing.

And I was just wondering if there's any

sort of like food science behind that.

if those like compliment each other in

some odd way or if we're just freaks who

like goop.

Thank you.

Well, I'm a freak that likes goop, but

that's Gwennneth Paltro's macrobiotic

deli.

Would you call it a deli?

I think it's more of a restaurant.

What did they say? I totally blacked

out.

So, the banquet fish stickick meal one.

I grew up eating a ton of banquet TV

dinners.

Fish stick was not and we're close to my

top five. country fried steak.

Okay,

that was in the top five. They had

something just called just called rib

meal that was like a McRib style patty

sitting in barbecue sauce. Um

but the fish stick, my problem was there

were equally cheap fish sticks that were

better that you could just make

as a standalone dinner like Gorton.

Yeah. Or whatever the generic

Gorton or Gordon.

Gorton.

Is it there's a tea in there?

Trust the Gortons fisherman. No, Vandys.

Bandandy Camps was the uh quintessential

fish stick brand, but the banquet fish

stick meal came with chocolate pudding,

macaroni and cheese, and fish stickicks.

I cannot imagine maybe a objectively and

I think even scientifically a worse

combination of foods.

This person would mix fish. What would

they mix? Tell me.

Fish sticks, mac and cheese, and

chocolate pudding.

Listen, man. Whenever your cool sister

does something and you're like, "She's

cool, man. and you have no choice but to

accept it and also think it's cool. Like

when my sister used to wear body

glitter, I was like, I want body

glitter. It's very normal.

So like chicken strips meal, right?

Let's look at banquet chicken strips

meal in elite banquet meal. Not all of

these came with a dessert. For some

reason, fish sticks did. But chicken

strips

cuz they felt bad cuz the fish sticks

were probably gross. I'm like, here's

some chocolate pudding so you feel

better.

Chicken strips meal is corn mac and

cheese chicken strips. little fried just

patties that got super soggy but they're

super well salted. You mash all that

into a paste.

I think that's almost a perfect paste.

That's a really really good paste,

right?

Cuz you get like the salty uh uh

proteinrich brined chicken, right?

Sweetness of the corn and then you get

this like pleasant carbohydrate chew and

the glutamates of the cheese. Like

there's a lot of science going on in

there that makes it very good. Okay. To

me, it's the aromomas of fish,

chocolate, and cheddar cheese that to

me, none of those three things go

together.

I agree. I think that's gross.

But maybe it's like when you mix the

entire soda fountain together.

No, man.

You know, and it's like the fun you had

doing it.

No, no. It's It's just older sister

hype. If you had an older sister, you

would get it.

Yeah. There there might be a scientist

who's smarter than us who can tell you

like, well, actually the the phenols of

the chocolate blah blah. We don't. We're

not that smart. We're not smart enough

to mash fish sticks with chocolate

pudding.

Not smart enough.

Oh my goodness, that was funny.

It's not funny. It's sexy.

I just wanted to say that I like your

show and

um

I just wanted to get your take on what

is more

get it together.

More say it

spiciest food in the world. Um, I think

the spiciest dishes I've ever had were

at Thai restaurants. And I used to think

that Mexican was kind of spicy, but not

anymore. That's my take on it.

Banquet sweet and sour chicken. Siren.

So on the banquet, that was deceptively

a banger. It just had this kind of like

sweet corn syrupy sauce in it. God, so

good.

Spiciest cuisines in the world. This is

very interesting.

Le Oceanian is the spiciest I've ever

had and I'll stand by it.

I It's really interesting because I've

talked everyone knows the idea of hey do

you want let's say mild, medium hot or

Thai spicy. Yes.

And if if waiter says Thai spicy that

means like this is the real way that

Thai people eat this dish. Normally we

wouldn't even offer it to a non- Thai

person. Um but you know you're there

we're going to do it. Uh recently my my

white friend tried to order Thai spicy

at a restaurant and he was there with my

Indian friend. Shout out to shout out to

Deep Nyak. Love you. Just got married.

The Thai waiter like shot a look to Deep

as just like a non-white person to be

like, "Hey, is your white lying?"

White lying actually handle his stuff.

Is your white lying?

What I have heard from a couple Thai

chefs is it's almost the opposite where

they are making their food almost

spicier than it would exist in Thailand.

just because white people will taste

very very spicy Thai food and go, "Oh my

god, it's so authentic."

Yeah. Yeah.

Right. And so I've actually heard it

pressured that way, which I think is

really interesting. And a lot of Mexican

chefs I've talked to um have, you know,

talked about how

like chilies in Mexico,

they're not meant to really be like

spicy spicy spicy.

They're meant for like fragrance.

They're meant for fragrance and flavor.

And hell, they started as medicine. And

so I've had certainly a ton of spicy

Mexican food, a lot of spicy Thai food.

But I think a lot of this like this is

supposed to be very spicy in everything

is a little overblown in certain ways.

Sure. I agree with you. But do you have

an answer for them?

Thai.

Thai.

I had a funny experience though at

speaking of deep at Deep's wedding,

right? We were eating just tons of

delicious Gujarati and Punjabi food

everywhere and there's of course you

know the sweet tamarind chutney and the

green chutney everywhere. um as a little

when we're doing choreographed dance

practice, they ordered a bunch of like

Middle Eastern food and it came with aug

and all the old relatives see which

looks almost identical to the green

chutney and they're like cool. And

they're just kind of splashing it all

over their falafel and it was really

really spicy and so every Indian

relative that ate the was warning mostly

the white people

spicy.

Hey, watch out that chutney is hot.

So yeah, I've had a lot of really hot

West African food. My aunt from Sagal

makes this just like incredible scotch

bonnet sauce.

Um,

yeah, I'd say Tai still probably takes

it though.

Hi Josh and Nicole. Longtime listener,

big time fan. And I don't really have an

opinion. I more of have a question. My

name is Meline from New York, the state,

not the city. And you guys always have

the most interesting book

recommendations. And I would like your

alltime comprehensive list of all of the

very like influential books about food

that you guys have read in your larger

adult and post teen life. Thank you.

Have a great day. Wow. Wow.

I'm so sorry. I don't read books

anymore.

Yeah,

I tried to. I Something's wrong with me.

It's an attention span thing. I think I

might have undiagnosed ADHD. I have to

figure it out. Um, I'm on my phone 10 to

11 hours a day. It's really bad. And I

don't read anymore, but I miss reading.

I bought books to read. I bought two

books that I thought I'd be very

interested in. And I read only 20 pages

of one of them. The other one is

collecting dust next to my freaking bed.

What's it called? Bed bedstand. Bedstand

table. Bed table.

I don't know if you read books, maybe

you know what it was called.

You didn't say that in your pick.

I hate you. I hate you.

But yeah, I don't read anymore. So, I'm

going to let Josh take this. I hate

myself.

It's very flattering. I recently went

back and reread um uh uh Kitchening

Confidential by Anthony Bourdain and

Medium Raw by Anthony Bourdain and like

it's such a fantastic moment in time. He

actually shouts out in uh in Medium Raw,

one of my favorite books about not food

but restaurants of all time, Down and

Out in Paris and London by George

Orwell. Um another book that is

incredible is uh How to Cook a Wolf by

MFK Fischer. And these are all different

points in times like George Orwell is

written in I think the 20s. MFK Fischer,

I believe, was written, god, was it

during World War II? I think it was, but

kind of back in that era. Um, one of my

favorite modern food history books is

Taco USA: How Mexican Food Conquered

America by Gustavo Ariano. Um, that's an

incredible one. I think maybe the most

beautiful pros about food is written by

Ruth Rishel. I love Ruth Raichel so so

so much. Um, God, Garlic and Sapphires

is incredible, but she her newest book,

Save Me the Plums, I thought was really

really beautiful. And then for food and

politics, uh, food politics by Mary and

Nestle. Really, really great. Uh, what

else do I like? What are the books?

Sci-fi. The coffee book.

The Monk of Mocha.

Did you say that?

By Dave Edgars. Robert Edgars. Which one

of them directs horror movies?

Robert Edgars.

He's a horror guy.

Love Robert Edgars.

The other Edgars. This is Dave Edgars

then.

Mhm. Um, you also read a book about Cod

that you liked.

Oh, Cod by Mark Kransky. Come on. That's

great. I'm in the middle. I'm reading

Salt by Mark Klansky right now. Consider

the fork is a great book.

I know the book. What is wrong with me?

I don't read a book, but I know the

books that you read.

Blood, Bones, and Butter by Gabrielle

Hamilton is fantastic. Think like a Chef

by Tom Kio is fantastic.

Surely there are other ones.

I think you said enough.

Yeah, I'm trying to think of because I

feel like I have I'm like trying to

picture on my bookshelf. Oh, Fresh Off

the Boat by Eddie Hong is a fantastic

memor turned into a show.

Crying in HMart. I don't know.

Crying in HR Michelle's honor.

People say that one's good.

You didn't read it. You just know it.

Yeah. Because I have problems that I

need to address soon.

Yeah, that's fair. That I'll leave it at

at those books for now, but if I

remember any, you'll just yell it on

another podcast for a future date.

And on that note, thank you so much for

the sandwich. the podcast you're

currently listening to. Uh, we got new

episodes audio platforms on Wednesdays,

new episodes Sundays on the video

platforms, but the way that people

consume content now is just in one giant

strange molasses flood where it either

reaches you and you're subsumed by it or

it doesn't.

If you want to be featured in a pin or

casserles, don't ask me about books

because I won't have any

recommendations. Give us a ring and

leave a quick message at 833 dogpod 1.

Oh my god. The uh uh the the third plate

by Dan Barber. We had Dan Barber. We had

Dan Barber

on here. Omnivore's Dilemma. Michael

Pollen. Fantastic book.

See you next time. Put food in.

Key Vocabulary

Vocabulary	Meanings
want /wɑːnt/ A1	verb - to desire or wish for something
hot /hɒt/ A1	adjective - having a high temperature adjective - spicy
dog /dɒɡ/ A1	noun - a domesticated carnivorous mammal
thing /θɪŋ/ A1	noun - an object that one need not, cannot, or does not wish to give a specific name to
makes /meɪks/ A1	verb - to create or cause something to happen
food /fuːd/ A1	noun - any nutritious substance that people or animals eat or drink, or that plants absorb, to maintain life and growth.
show /ʃəʊ/ A1	noun - an event staged for the public
host /həʊst/ A2	noun - a person who introduces guests to a broadcast program
break /breɪk/ A2	verb - to separate into pieces as a result of a blow, strain, or pressure
big /bɪɡ/ A2	adjective - of considerable size or extent
difference /ˈdɪfərəns/ B1	noun - a point or respect in which people or things are not the same
restaurants /ˈrestərɒnt/ B1	noun - a place where people pay to eat meals
cultural /ˈkʌltʃərəl/ B1	adjective - relating to the ideas, customs, and social behaviour of a society
question /ˈkwɛstʃən/ A2	noun - a sentence worded or expressed so as to elicit information verb - to express doubt about something
taste /teɪst/ A2	verb - perceive the flavor of something by putting it in the mouth noun - the sensation produced by the sense of taste
flavor /ˈfleɪvər/ B1	noun - the particular sensation produced by a food or drink
seasoning /ˈsiːzənɪŋ/ B1	noun - salt, spices, or herbs used to improve the flavor of food
quality /ˈkwɒləti/ B1	noun - the standard of something as measured against other things of a similar kind
dessert /dɪˈzɜːrt/ A2	noun - the sweet course eaten at the end of a meal
homemade /ˈhəʊmmeɪd/ B1	adjective - made at home or in a home-like environment