– English Lyrics

Lyrics & Translation

[English]

[Music]

All right. There's a nuclear holocaust.

I'm the last man on Earth. Would you go

out with me?

I've got canned goods.

Hey guys, take a look at this. Check

this baby out. Dug me a hole.

Excellent hole, Joe.

Oh no. No. My whole world.

What? What? What is it? Jellyfish sting.

Ow. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. Look,

can we help? You want us to take you

back to the house? Oh, it's like 2

miles. Yeah. And I'm a little tired from

digging the hole.

Damn the jellyfish.

Damn all the jellyfish.

I got to do something. Well, there's

really only one thing you can do. What?

What is it? You're going to have to pee

on it.

What?

Wow. Don't blame me. I saw it on the

Discovery Channel. You know what? He's

right. There's something like uh ammonia

in that that kills the pain. Well,

forget it. It doesn't hurt that bad.

If you want some privacy, you can use my

hole.

Pass the cheese, please.

My god, you can't even look at me, can

you? Nope.

Yay, it's Phoebe. We can talk to Phoebe.

No, I'm I'm too depressed to talk. I'll

give you $1,000 to talk to us.

Hey, you guys, what do you what do you

think about making that beach trip an

annual thing? No.

All right, that's it, you guys. What

happened out there? What? We took a

walk. Nothing happened. I came back with

nothing all over me.

Come on. What happened, Joey?

All right. No, Joey. We swore we'd never

tell. They'll never understand.

We have to say something. We have to get

it out. It's eating me alive.

Monica got stung by a jellyfish. All

right.

All right.

I got stung.

Stung bad.

I couldn't stand. I I couldn't walk. We

were two miles from the house.

We're scared and alone.

We didn't think we could make it.

I was in too much pain. And I was tired

from digging the huge hole.

[Applause]

And then Joey remembered something.

I'd seen this thing on the Discovery

Channel. Wait a minute. I saw that on

the Discovery Channel. Yeah. About

jellyfish and how if you

Ew,

you peed on yourself.

E,

you can't say that. You You don't know.

I thought I was going to pass out from

the pain. Anyway, I I tried, but I I

couldn't been that way.

So,

that's right. I stepped up.

She's my friend and she needed help.

If I had to, I'd pee on any one of you.

Only uh I couldn't.

I got to stage fright.

I wanted to help, but there was just too

much pressure. So So I uh I turned to

Chandler.

Joy kept screaming at me, "Do it now. Do

it. Do it. Do it now."

Sometimes late at night, I can still

hear the screaming.

That's cuz sometimes I just do it

through my wall to freak you out.

O,

what's with all this sand? Oh, yeah. Bob

said there might be sled damage. Either

that or he has a really big cat.

Well, is everybody else having just the

best time? Sh. Joy's asleep.

[Applause]

After he passed out, we put the sand

around him to keep him warm.

Well, I assume the uh happy couple isn't

up yet. Did you guys hear them last

night? Oh, yeah. I don't know what they

were doing, but at one point, sea

turtles actually came up to the house.

Good morning. Hi. Hey. How'd everybody

sleep? Oh, great. Like a lo. Us, too.

We're going for a walk.

Good morning. Nice breath, by the way.

[Laughter]

[Music]

Oh, isn't this nice? So quiet. I could

just lie here all day. Oh, no.

Open your drapes. Open your drapes. So

glad we got adjoining rooms.

The sun is out. Hey, remember when I had

corners?

Okay, listen. You go down to the pool

and reserve the chairs and I'll get the

magazines and the lotion. Uh, ladies,

Ross's speech is in 45 minutes. Damn it.

Walls are pretty thin, guys.

Then we have to weigh the data from

recent MRI scans and DNA testing

which call into question information

gathered from years of simple carbon

dating. Got that woman sitting out by

the pool getting tan material

all leathery and wrinkled. I'm so

jealous.

Finally, factor in the profusion of new

species recently discovered

Gigantosaurus.

Argentinosaurus,

not to mention Coldaurus.

And that's just the herbivores. I'm not

even going to discuss the carnivores.

Uh, their heads are already too big,

which is ironic considering their

stunted cerebral development.

[Laughter]

Really?

Okay. Come on. Daddy needs a new pair of

electromagnetic microscopes for the

prehistoric forensics department.

Okay. Take Pinky Tuscadero up to

inspiration point. Collect three cool

points. Yeah. Which gives me five. And

let's see who is going to lose their

clothes. Um I think I pick our strip

poker sponsor, Mr. Joey Tribani.

All right, relax. It's just a shoe.

Hey, your band is playing at Arnold's.

Collect three cool points, which means I

have five. And that means I get Joey's

boxers.

Fine, gang up on me. I got you all right

where I want you.

Come on, take them off. Actually, you

know, it's kind of cold, so how about I

keep my boxers on and give you all a

peek at the good stuff.

Yeah. How you doing?

Hey, hey, hey. You You said you were

going to wear a thong. Where's the

thong?

I didn't mean a thong. I meant thong.

You really should have been more clear

about that.

Hey, you're never going to guess who I

just saw downstairs. Oh. Uh, Britney

Spears.

Yeah, she never misses these

conferences. Now, I just saw Dr. Kenneth

Schwarz. Oh my god. I know. Did you talk

to him? Yeah. Um, what am I going to say

to Kenneth Schwarz? You could say, "Hey,

Kenny, how come you're not Britney

Spears?

You ready to go? You You going to go

now? I thought we could hang out. Oh, I

can't. I have seminars all day and I

promised Ross I'd look at a speech, but

um maybe we could have dinner later on

the balcony. It' be romantic.

Will you wear a thong?

I will if you will.

You got yourself a very weird deal.

I'm good. I I have dinner plans.

So, you going to be okay? Yeah. Yeah, I

got I got tons of stuff I could do. I'm

going to hit the beach, go swimming. Uh

Joe, have you looked outside?

No. Why?

Man,

there's an indoor pool. You You could

swim there. Yeah, I wasn't going to

swim. I was going to dig a hole.

Hey, what happened to you? Oh, uh

nothing. I just felt like hanging out

here and reading. The water was so

great. We jumped off this pier and my

suit came off.

Sorry I missed that. God, Joey and

Chandler sure are funny.

I think I brought back half the beach in

my hair. It was so much easier when I

used to shave my head.

You know, I got to tell you, I just

loved your look when you were bald.

Really?

Because I think about shaving it all off

again sometimes. Really? Yeah. I mean,

you definitely should do that.

You know what? I should do it. Yeah. You

know what? Thank you, Rachel. You are so

cool. Oh, stop. Cover.

Now, let's shave that head. All right.

[Music]

Hey, everybody. Wow.

[Laughter]

Look what you did.

You want to touch it? No, but but it's

great. Come on, touch it.

Okay.

You can feel all the bones in your

skull.

Oh, I'm sorry. I I think I think that

may have missed the table. Oh, do you?

Uh, y do you uh y do you uh y

you really find this attractive on him?

Oh, yeah. Are you telling me you're not

even a little turned on by Monica right

now?

I think this is the first time in our

marriage that I felt like the more

attractive one.

All right. Come on, Mike. You can beat

her. Knock that dog off her head.

Damn it. I sleep with him.

Game point. Don't get too cocky.

Remember, I won the last one. Oh, by the

way, how did that feel losing to a girl?

You know, you should really look in the

mirror before you call yourself that.

No, no, no. And that's how it's done.

Okie dokie. You've each won a game and

I've lost what's felt like a year of my

life.

So, everybody goes home a winner. Best

out of three. That's what I'm thinking.

Should I use my invisibility to fight

crime or for evil?

Serve the ball, chump.

Okay. Better comebacks, Mike. Better

comebacks.

[Music]

Key Vocabulary

Vocabulary	Meanings
nuclear ˈnjuːkli.ər B2	adjective - relating to the nucleus of an atom or to nuclear energy
holocaust ˈhɒləkɔːst C1	noun - the mass murder of the European Jews during World War II; also a large-scale disaster
jellyfish ˈdʒɛlɪfɪʃ B1	noun - a free‑floating marine animal with a gelatinous umbrella‑shaped bell and trailing tentacles
ammonia æmˈəʊ.ni.ə B2	noun - a colourless gas with a pungent smell, NH₃, used in cleaning and as a fertilizer
privacy ˈprɪvəsi B2	noun - the state of being free from public attention or intrusion
depressed dɪˈprɛst B2	adjective - feeling extreme unhappiness and despondency
digging ˈdɪɡɪŋ B1	verb - to break up and move earth with a tool or hands
stung stʌŋ B1	verb - past tense of sting; to be pierced or wounded by a sharp-pointed animal
pain peɪn A2	noun - physical or emotional suffering
discovery dɪˈskʌvəri B2	noun - the act of finding something new or previously unknown
channel ˈtʃænəl B1	noun - a television or radio network that broadcasts programs
sand sænd A1	noun - fine small grains of rock that form beaches and deserts
MRI ˌɛm.ɑːrˈaɪ C1	noun - magnetic resonance imaging, a medical scan that uses magnetic fields and radio waves
DNA ˌdiː.enˈeɪ C1	noun - deoxyribonucleic acid, the molecule that carries genetic information in living organisms
carbon ˈkɑːbən B2	noun - a chemical element (symbol C) that is the basis of organic chemistry
dating ˈdeɪtɪŋ B1	verb - to go out with someone in a romantic relationship
Gigantosaurus ˌdʒaɪɡæntəˈsɔːrəs C2	noun - a genus of large, herbivorous dinosaur from the Late Jurassic period
Argentinosaurus ˌɑːrdʒənʈiːnoʊˈsɔːrəs C2	noun - one of the largest known sauropod dinosaurs, discovered in Argentina
prehistoric ˌpriːhɪˈstɒrɪk B2	adjective - relating to the period before written records
electromagnetic ɪˌlɛktrəʊmæɡˈnetɪk C1	adjective - relating to the interrelation of electricity and magnetism

Key Grammar Structures

• All right. There's a nuclear holocaust.

  ➔ Existential there + be

  ➔ The word "There's" is a contraction of "there is" and introduces the existence of something.

• If you want some privacy, you can use my hole.

  ➔ Modal verb "can" for ability/permission

  ➔ "can" shows that the speaker gives permission or indicates ability: "you **can** use my hole".

• We swore we'd never tell.

  ➔ Reported speech with back‑shifting (would → would)

  ➔ "we'd" is a contraction of "we would"; after the past verb "swore" the verb in the subordinate clause is back‑shifted to "would never tell".

• If I had to, I'd pee on any one of you.

  ➔ Second conditional (unreal present)

  ➔ "If I **had** to…" uses the simple past in the if‑clause, and "**I'd**" (= I would) in the result clause, expressing a hypothetical situation in the present.

• I couldn't walk.

  ➔ Modal verb "couldn't" for past inability

  ➔ "couldn't" = "could not"; it shows the speaker was **unable** to walk at that time.

• You're going to have to pee on it.

  ➔ Future obligation with "going to have to"

  ➔ "going to have to" combines the future‑intent "going to" with the modal phrase "have to" to express a **future necessity**.

• You should shave your head again.

  ➔ Modal verb "should" for advice

  ➔ "should" expresses the speaker's **recommendation**: "You **should** shave your head again".

• Which calls into question the previous findings.

  ➔ Relative clause with present simple verb "calls"

  ➔ "which" introduces a relative clause; the verb "calls" is in the **present simple**, showing that the action is a current, ongoing assessment.

• I think that I'm going to pass out.

  ➔ Verb + that‑clause + future intention (going to)

  ➔ "that" introduces a content clause; "I'm going to" expresses a **planned future action**.