– English Lyrics

Lyrics & Translation

[English]

Rachel. Oh god, Monica. Hi. Thank God. I

just went to your building and you

weren't there. And then this guy with a

big hammer said that you might be here

and you are. You are. Can I get you some

coffee? Decaf.

Okay, everybody. This is Rachel, a

another Lincoln High survivor. This This

is everybody. This is Chandler and

Phoebe and Joey. And you remember my

brother Ross? Sure.

So, you want to tell us now or are we

waiting for four wet bridesmaids?

Oh, God. Well, it started about a half

hour before the wedding. I was in this

room where we were keeping all the

presents and I was looking at this gravy

boat, this really gorgeous Leo gravy

boat. when all of a sudden, sweet and

low, I realized

I realized that I was more turned on by

this gray boat than by Barry. And then I

got really freaked out. And that's when

it hit me how much Barry looks like Mr.

Potato Head.

You know, I mean, I always knew he

looked familiar. But

anyway, I just had to get out of there.

And I started wondering why am I doing

this? And who am I doing this for?

So anyway, I just didn't know where to

go. And I know that you and I have kind

of drifted apart, but you're the only

person I knew who lived here in a city

who wasn't invited to the wedding. Oh, I

was kind of hoping that wouldn't be an

issue. What? You got a job? Are you

kidding? I'm trained for nothing.

I was laughed at 12 interviews today.

And yet you're surprisingly upbeat.

Well, you would be too if you found Joan

and David boots on sale, 50% off.

Oh, how well you know me.

They're my new I don't need a job. I

don't need my parents. I've got great

boots. Boots.

How'd you pay for them? Uh, credit card.

And who pays for that?

Um, my father.

Come on, you can't live off your parents

your whole life. I know that. That's why

I was getting married.

Give her a break. It's hard being on

your own for the first time. Thank you.

You're welcome. I remember when I first

came to this city, I was 14. My mom had

just killed herself and my stepdad was

back in prison and I got here and I

didn't know anybody and I ended up

living with this albino guy who was like

cleaning windshields outside Port

Authority and then he killed himself

and then I found aromatherapy. So,

believe me, I know exactly how you feel.

The word you're looking for is

anyway.

All right. You ready? I don't think so.

Oh, come on. Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut.

Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut.

[Applause]

Hey. Welcome to the real world. It

sucks. You're going to love it. Never

going out with him again. You know, I

don't care how much he begs. I think his

begging days are over now that he's

going out with Nancy Branson.

You know what? I've just had it with

high school boys. They're just silly.

They're just silly, stupid boys. I'm

going to start dating men.

Uh, I'm sorry, Judy. I couldn't find

that ball you and Jack were looking for.

Call them mom and dad, you loser.

Want to cook? I'm sorry, faves. I I

guess I'm just really sad that I'm

leaving. I'm going to miss you so much.

Well, this doesn't have to be so sad,

though. You know, maybe instead of just

thinking about how much you're going to

miss each other, you should like think

about some of the things that you're not

going to miss.

I don't think there's anything. Come on.

There's got to be something.

She's perfect.

I have one.

Great. Okay, you can go first. Uh, well,

I guess I'm not going to miss the fact

that you're never allowed to move the

phone pin.

That's a good one. Okay, Monica,

anything. You know, does Rachel move the

phone pin?

A sometimes Always

actually.

Okay, good. There you go. Doesn't

everyone feel better?

It's not just the phone pin.

I never get my messages. You get your

messages? Yeah. Well, I don't think it

really counts if you have to read them

off the back of your hand after you fall

asleep on the couch. So So you missed a

message from who? Chandler or your mom?

Or Chandler? Or your mom?

Great. It worked. No one's sad.

Hi. Hi.

What are What are What are these? Oh,

just some pictures I made and hung up.

Thought they brighten up the place. They

do, don't you think?

No. No. No.

I I know that there's no hole there. I I

just really like that picture.

Oh my god, look at this. Okay, but there

is a wire back there. I mean, that

switch is connected to something. I

don't care. The wires have come loose in

your head.

I just thought if I could follow the

wire, I could find out what it did. And

did you? No.

It disappears back there behind that

baseboard. minute there. I thought it

went downstairs,

but it didn't.

Say hello to Mrs. Katraus. Oh my god.

Hello, darling. Hello, Mrs. Katraus.

[Music]

The super couldn't figure out what it

did. The $200 an hour electrician

couldn't figure out what it did.

I've had seven pretty serious shocks.

I officially give up. Thank God.

Guess Joey was right.

Dad's nothing.

I'm doing it. I am totally doing it.

[Music]

I lost it. We have to make it a theme

wedding. And the theme could be look how

much money we've got.

You know, I mean, you could put you

could put money in in the invitations.

You you could have like little money

play settings and uh you could start

with a money salad. I mean, it'll be

dry, but people will like it. But you

stop. We've only been going on a couple

of weeks. I mean, we don't even know if

he's going to propose. Yes, but this is

Pete, okay? He's not like other people.

On your first date, he took you to Rome.

For most guys, that's like a third or

fourth date kind of thing.

Well, if if that's what it is, then it's

it's crazy. Monica's right. We're

talking about getting married here,

okay? She she can't just rush into this.

Oh, what do you know? You married a

lesbian.

Little question for you. How do you

think the suit would look on an

assistant? The owner of Alisandre came

over here to yell at me, but instead I

made him some sauce and he offered me

the job as head chef. Oh my god, you

just ruined the thing I was practicing

the whole way home, but I'm so happy.

Can you believe it? I finally get to run

my own kitchen. Oh, you've waited so

long.

Hey, thieves. Quick question for you.

How do you think the suit would look on

an assistant buyer at Bloomingdales?

I don't know. Totally depend on her

coloring. And uh

You got the job. You got the job? Why

didn't you tell me?

Oh, it's going to be so great. I'm going

to get to help decide what we sell and

I'm going to have an office with walls

and everything. I'm going to have walls.

Give me back my sweater or it's handbag

marinara.

You don't have the guts. Oh, yeah. Well,

at least I wasn't too chicken to tell

some guy I thought he was cute.

Oh. All right. Stop. Stop the madness.

This is crazy. Who can even remember why

you started fighting in the first place?

She knew that I joined him. She would

have to fight first. Yes, that's right.

But still, I look at your purse.

Look at your sweater.

Look at yourselves.

I'll help you fix your sweater.

I'll help you throw out your purse.

I'm sorry that I made you stop seeing

him.

Well, I'm sorry I went out with him when

I knew you liked him.

I'm sorry that I borrowed your gloves.

Can't find garbage bags. Oh, well, I

think I saw some in here.

What is it?

I don't know, but maybe if we keep that

drawer shut, it'll die.

[Applause]

We're living here. Come in.

I've been waiting for you.

Hi. I just want Oh my god. Oh my god. My

god. Oh my god. Oh god. I'm sorry.

Sorry. I I was um I was taking a nap.

Since when do you take naps in that

position?

Oh god. Monica, tell me you were waiting

for a guy. Please tell me you're waiting

for a guy. Yes. Yes, I was. A guy from

work.

I'm seeing a guy from work. Ha.

That cute waiter guy from your

restaurant. The one that looks like a

non-threatening Ray Leotaa.

Uhhuh. That one. You know what? Just

give me a second. I'll be out of your

hair. I'm just going to grab a jacket.

When I get back, I want every little

detail.

Maybe that's him. Okay.

Okay. Um,

it's just Joey and Ross.

Why aren't you guys at the movie? Well,

we were, but Ross was talking so loud on

his phone, they threw us out. I had to

talk loud because the movie was loud.

He's talking to London. Oh my god. Did

he get in touch with Emily? Well, no,

not yet. He's calling everyone on her

side of the family, hoping that someone

will help him get in touch with her. I I

don't care if I said some other girl's

name. You prissy old twit.

Ross, way to suck up to the family.

[Laughter]

I'm so glad you guys are all here. My

office finally got wrinkle-free fax

paper. Monica. Monica, look at this

lamp. Is this tacky or what? We have to

have this.

Ra, I think we have enough regular

lamps. What? Oh, come on. I mean, it's

it's not like it's not like I'm asking

for this girly clock or anything. Which,

by the way, I also think is really cool.

It doesn't go with any of my stuff.

Well, what about my stuff?

You don't have any stuff.

You still think of it as your apartment,

don't you?

No. Yes, you do. You think of it as your

apartment, and I'm just someone who

rents a room.

[Music]

Okay. Okay, while you m on that for a

while, I'm going to go find a place for

my new land.

[Music]

Hey, Ra. You know what we hadn't played

in a while? What? Hide the lamp.

Hey, Monica, let it go.

Did you know I was allergic to

shellfish? Well, then you'll just have

to eat the other lamps.

Okay. All right. It was an accident. I

swear. All right. I I was I was putting

on my jacket and and the thing and and

the and the lamp and and it broke. Oh,

please, Monica. You've always hated my

lamp. And now all of a sudden it's just

magically it's just broken. Phoebe, tell

her. Okay. I didn't see it cuz I was

putting on my jacket, but um I want to

believe you.

Hey, Chandler. Monica just broke my

seashell lamp.

Neat. I'm going to die alone.

Okay, you win.

Oh, what you got there? Something else

that's not yours that you can break?

No. Um, I know you like this and I I

want you to have it. I think it'll look

good in our apartment.

Thank you.

That's fine.

Okay, you know what? I'll have toast.

Oh my god.

[Music]

You guys, you guys, we were we were just

in the storage area and we saw this

really creepy man. He was like this

crazy eyed hairy beast man. He was like

a like a Bigfoot or a yeti or something.

And he came at us with an axe. So Rachel

had to use a bug bomb on him. Yeah. I I

I pulled the tab and I just fogged his

yeti ass.

Uh, like dark hair, bushy beard. Yeah.

Yeah, you fog Danny.

Please. We did not fog Danny. Who's

Danny?

Danny just moved in downstairs. Yeah, he

just got back from like this fourmon

trek in the Andes. Nice fella.

Oh, he's nice. He's nice. You know, you

always stick up for the people we fog.

Give up to her. She's my best friend.

Well, Joey's my best friend. I'm not

your best friend.

You just said,

"Of course you're my best friend.

Would you please tell Rachel, though?"

All right. All right. At least I'm

prepared. Okay.

Oh, yes. Hey. Hey. Hey. These aren't for

you. Are you upset? I am now.

Hey, Roomie.

Okay. Bye.

Ra,

there's something um important I have to

tell you. Are you pregnant?

No, but I'm throwing the shirt away.

I think there was a little

misunderstanding before. Mhm. Um when I

said that uh that Chandler and I wanted

to um live together,

we meant alone together.

Oh my god. Oh, that's funny. I can't

believe I did that. Oh no, sweetie. No.

You know what? This is my fault. I I

wasn't clear. I I'm really sorry. And

And listen, you take as much time as you

need to move out, okay? There's

absolutely no rush.

Okay.

Oh, hi. Hi. Richard just told me he

loved me. Oh my god. I know. Honey,

that's great. I know. I just can't find

other than the top drawer. Hurry. You

need one, too? Oh, yeah.

There's only one. Monica.

Hi. Uh, we'll be right there. We just um

we're trying to decide something.

Rachel.

[Applause]

Hey. Hey.

They're just trying to decide something.

Oh, good, good, good.

So, is um was your mustache it used to

be different?

No. Oh,

how do you uh you know keep it so neat?

I have a little comb. Oh,

and what do you call that? A mustache

comb. Thank you.

Okay. I I will do your laundry for one

month. No. Okay. Okay. Okay. I will I

will I will I Hey, I will clean the

apartment for 2 months. All right. I'll

tell you what. I'll give this to you now

if you can tell me where we keep the

dustpan.

So, were you in, ma'am?

Rock, paper, scissors.

One, two, three. Yes.

Fine. Go have sex.

No, you have got it completely wrong.

John Savage was deer hunter. No legs.

John Voit was coming home. Couldn't feel

his legs. No, no, no way. You've got it

totally the other way around, my friend.

Don Voit was what? What?

Shall we? It's not going to happen.

They're doing it tonight. We can do it

tomorrow.

uh in the future if I could see the

schedule beforehand. Hey, Ra, come on.

You're going to be late for the eye

doctor appointment. All right, let's get

this over with.

Oh no, look what I did.

I mean, look at this mess. I mean, we're

going to probably have to clean this up,

you know? I mean, we're going to have to

reschedu

If you thought that this semester was

going to bother me, you're wrong. All

right, let's go, Blinky.

[Applause]

Oh my god. What does that thing do?

Uh, that's an eye removal machine. All

right, I'm out of I'm kidding. I'm

kidding. Uhoh. Hi, Rachel. I'm Dr.

Miller. Monica told me you were a little

nervous, but don't worry. Everything's

going to be just fine. So, we're done

then. Almost. But first, we got to

start. Okay. This is the glaucoma test.

Uh-huh. Sit down.

Okay. Put your chin here. Mhm.

Now, you're going to feel a small puff

of air in each eye. What? What?

A small puff of air. Now, come on.

Here we go. All right.

One, two, three. Okay.

I'm sorry. All right. I'm going to stay

in here this time. Okay. Ready? Uhhuh.

One, two. I'm sorry. You know what? I'm

going to hold your head. Okay. That's

okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. One. Uh-huh.

Two. I'm sorry. You know what? You're

young. You probably don't have glaucoma.

Okay. Okay. So, it was very, very nice

to meet you, sir. And I'm Hey, what are

you? Are you crazy? Okay, you got a

small minor infection in that left eye.

I want you to take these drops three

times a day for a week and you'll be as

good as new. Yeah. No, I I don't I don't

put things in my eye. Okay, then I guess

we'll see you back here in 3 months.

Great. And I'll fit you for a glass eye.

Okay, just give me the damn drops.

Dr. Miller.

P E CF D.

Very good, Monica.

You know where they are. I sure do.

And you don't get one.

Okay.

Not even close. Okay. Well, then you

know what? Help me. I need help. I can

do this. All right. Come on. Let's do

it. Come on. All right. Sit down. All

right. All right. Put your head back.

Yes. All right. Okay. Now, open your

eyes. Okay. They are.

How many fingers am I holding up? Four.

Oh my god. I was thinking four. Really?

Yes. All right. You know what? Why don't

we start with a practice one? Okay.

Okay. No drops. Great. Okay. Okay. All

right. On three. One, two, three.

My pillow's all wet. Well, well, you

said it was practice. Then why did you

move? Because I knew you were lying.

All right, come here. What are you

doing? it, Monica. Stop it. Oh my

god. Stop it. I am going. I'm going to

turn it over. I'm I going and get

these arms in your eyes. Oh my god, you

really are freakishly strong.

Oh my god.

Damn, it's empty.

Well, you know, if Joey and Chandler

walked in right now, we could make a

fortune.

Can you pass me a TV guide? Yeah.

Oh my god. Hold it open. Okay.

We'll see you in about three or four

hours.

Pump it up. Open it up. Open up.

We'll discuss it in the morning.

What the hell is going on?

We took our apartment back.

I had nothing to do with it.

Okay. It was my idea, but I don't feel

good about it.

We are switching back right now. No,

we're not. We're not leaving. Well,

you're going to have to leave sometime

because you both have jobs and as soon

as you do, we're switching it back.

There's nothing you can do to stop us,

right, Joe? I don't know.

What? I don't want to move again with

the and

I don't care. This is our apartment and

they stole. You stole

our apartment. We won that apartment

fair and square twice and I am getting

it back right now. I'm getting it back

right now.

All right.

We figured you might respond this way.

So, we have a backup offer. Oh, no. No,

no, no more offers. You can't offer

anything to us. Let us keep the

apartment.

And as a thank you,

Rachel and I will kiss for one minute.

Totally worth it. That was one good

minute. Good night. Good night.

Men are such idiots.

Could you believe something that stupid

actually got us our apartment back?

That's so funny to think. If you had

just done that right after the last

contest, no one would have had to move

at all.

Let's pretend that's not true. Yeah.

[Music]

There she is. She's so beautiful.

Oh my god,

she's amazing.

Oh, I'm so glad you guys got drunk and

had sex.

It's incredible. I mean, one minute

she's inside you and then 47 hours

later, here she is.

She looks so real.

You know what I mean? Okay, my turn. My

turn. Pho. Oh, baby. Oh, you're so cute.

Oh, I could squeeze your little head.

I won't.

What's the matter? Nothing. I'm sorry. I

just can't stop crying. The doctor said

it's completely normal with all the

hormones. Plus, you you're sleepd

deprived. So, you guys are all

sleepdeprived. I don't see you weeping

cuz you put your slippers on the wrong

feet.

Oh, God. What's the matter now? I was

reliving it.

So, do you know what you're going to

call her yet? Oh, wait a minute. It's

not going to be baby girl. I thought

that was so original.

Uh, actually, we we've narrowed it down

to two names. Yeah. And you know what? I

love them both. So, why don't you just

pick one and that'll be it.

Wow. Um,

okay. Uh, everyone,

this

is Isabella.

Oh, I love his brother. Hi.

What? That's not her name.

I'm sorry. She just doesn't feel like an

Isabella. What was the other one, Ros?

Um, Delilah. Oh, great. Suddenly, she

sounds like a biblical

So, I guess we're back to uh baby girl.

Yay.

Well, what are we going to do? It's

okay, honey. You'll find a name. Easy

for you to say. You already know what

your kids' names are going to be. You

do? Yeah. I had them picked out since I

was 14. Oh, no. It's going to be named

after some snack or baked good, isn't

it?

Well, tell us. What are they? Um, okay.

If it's a boy, it's Daniel. And if it's

a girl, I don't want to say. Oh, don't

tell us. We're not going to want it.

Okay,

it's Emma.

Emma.

See, I don't want it.

Take it.

What?

She's clearly an Emma. Oh, hey. But you

love that name.

Yeah, but I love you more.

Besides, you know, nothing goes with

being, so I'm screwed.

So, whose idea was it to put everybody

in the diner on skates? Some idiot

customer put a suggestion in the

suggestion box. Oh my god, they took my

idea. That was you? Yeah.

Okay, there you go. Rachel, I made you a

call. call. Oh my, it's so bad.

Oh my god. Are you guys okay?

Oh my.

All right, Monica, if there is something

that you would like to share. You know,

you had no right to go out with him.

That is the most ridiculous. You sold me

out. I did not sell you. I absolutely

sold.

Did you just flick me?

Okay. Well, you wouldn't let me finish

and I was just Ow, that hurt.

Quit flicking. Ow. You flicking. You

flipped me first. Get it. Ow.

No, let's not do this. Let's pause.

Happy.

[Music]

Okay, now I'm going to kick the ass.

All right, now I will let go if you both

stop. What do you you want me to stop

seeing him? Is that what you want?

Uhhuh. You want me to just call him up

and tell him that you're seeing him

instead? Is that what you want? Okay.

Oh, that's what you want? Yes.

Fine. Fine. There we go.

You know what? If we were in prison, you

guys would be like my

[Applause]

Hey. Hey. Hey. Where's Ra? Oh, she's uh

she's putting Emma down. She'll be over

in a second. Now, it just hit her that

she's leaving and she's kind of

emotional, so no one say anything to set

her off. Okay. Yeah.

There she is.

Hi, you guys.

What did I just say?

No, no, no. It's okay. It's okay. I'm

going to be fine. Come here. I'll make

you a drink. Okay.

All right. Well, if I'm going to do

this, I better keep going. Great. Okay.

Monica. Yeah. Will you come here with me

for a minute? Sure.

Are you wearing waterproof mascara? No.

Oh, you're so screwed.

Okay, I better just say what it is I'm

going to say.

None of the amazing things that have

happened to me in the last 10 years

would have happened if it wasn't for

you.

No one has been more like a sister to

me. I know what you mean.

You're like a sister to me, too.

I don't know what I'm going to do

without you.

You're the greatest I ever

seen you.

What?

[Music]

[Applause]

That is so sweet.

[Music]

Key Vocabulary

Vocabulary	Meanings
building /ˈbɪldɪŋ/ B1	noun - a structure with walls and a roof
survivor /sərˈvaɪvər/ B2	noun - a person who has survived a difficult experience
wedding /ˈwɛdɪŋ/ A2	noun - the ceremony of getting married
gravy /ˈɡreɪvi/ A2	noun - a sauce made from meat juices
freaked /friːkt/ B1	verb - to become very frightened or upset
drifted /ˈdrɪftɪd/ B1	verb - to gradually move apart
trained /treɪnd/ B1	verb - to teach a skill
upbeat /ˈʌpbiːt/ B2	adjective - cheerful and optimistic
credit /ˈkrɛdɪt/ A2	noun - the ability to borrow money
parents /ˈpɛərənts/ A1	noun - mother and father
break /breɪk/ A2	verb - to damage something
prison /ˈprɪzn/ B1	noun - a place where people are kept as punishment
aroma /əˈroʊmə/ B2	noun - a pleasant smell
shocks /ʃɒks/ B1	noun - a sudden, disturbing surprise
sucks /sʌks/ B1	verb - is unpleasant
silly /ˈsɪli/ A2	adjective - foolish or playful
officially /əˈfɪʃəli/ B1	adverb - in a formal or official way

Key Grammar Structures

• I was laughed at 12 interviews today.

  ➔ Passive voice – past simple

  ➔ The verb "was laughed" shows the subject is acted upon, not doing the laughing.

• I'm trained for nothing.

  ➔ Passive adjective – present simple

  ➔ The past‑participle "trained" functions as an adjective describing the subject.

• I realized that I was more turned on by this gray boat than by Barry.

  ➔ Reported speech with "that" clause; comparative with "more…than"

  ➔ The clause "that I was more turned on…" reports a previous thought; "more…than" compares two things.

• If you could think about some of the things that you're not going to miss.

  ➔ Second‑conditional modal "could" + bare infinitive; relative clause "that you're not going to miss"

  ➔ The modal "could" expresses a hypothetical ability; "that you're not going to miss" is a relative clause describing "things".

• I'm going to get a glass eye.

  ➔ "be going to" for future intention

  ➔ "I'm going to" signals a plan that the speaker intends to carry out.

• We've been going on for a couple of weeks.

  ➔ Present perfect continuous

  ➔ "have been going" shows an action that started in the past and is still continuing.

• You're the only person I knew who lived here in a city who wasn't invited to the wedding.

  ➔ Multiple relative clauses; superlative "only" with noun phrase

  ➔ "who lived…" and "who wasn't invited…" are relative clauses that add information about "person".

• I would have gotten the job if I had applied.

  ➔ Third conditional – past perfect in if‑clause, modal perfect in main clause

  ➔ "would have gotten" expresses an unreal past result; "if I had applied" is the unreal condition.

• Do you think there's anything we should talk about?

  ➔ Present simple question with modal verb "should" in the infinitive

  ➔ "should" asks for advice or a suggestion about a possible action.