You go into the booth and you
00:00
>> I'm gonna stop you right there, Linda.
00:01
>> Does it look like this is my first time?
00:06
Huh? Now I want four twos and I want
00:08
them all on my back.
00:11
Wait a minute. THERE'S TWO SETS OF
00:29
NOZZLES. WHICH ONE IS IT? Which which
00:31
>> Dude, it's Chandler. Let me in. Go away.
00:47
I don't want to see anybody. I know. I
00:52
went to the tanning place and the same
00:55
thing happened to me. You have to let me
00:56
>> Did you count Mississippi?
01:00
>> You You're not tan.
01:05
>> No, I just had to get a picture of this.
01:06
I'll see you later.
01:10
>> Your father's doctor's on the phone if
01:12
you'd like to speak to him.
01:14
>> Oh, great. Um, are you going to be okay?
01:15
>> He's unconscious. I think we'll be just
01:17
Did Did the TV wake you?
01:57
>> No. When you put your feet up on my bed,
01:59
you tugged on my catheter.
02:02
>> What are you doing here, Giller?
02:12
>> Well, I came with Rachel, who who should
02:13
be back any second.
02:15
So, what's new? Oh, I had a little heart
02:17
>> Wait, is is it painful?
02:22
>> What? The heart attack is sitting here
02:24
>> Let's see if we can get that Rachel back
02:28
>> So, what's new with you, G? Knocked up
02:31
any more of my daughters lately?
02:34
>> Nope, just the one. Right.
02:35
>> Hey, hey, check out the flyers for the
02:40
band. I made them on a Macintosh in the
02:42
>> Awesome. The name really stands out.
02:46
Thanks to a little something called
02:48
Helvetica bold 24 point.
02:49
>> Man, we going to rock that Asian student
02:53
>> You know our band is playing on Friday.
03:02
>> Yeah. Yeah. You should come check us
03:04
out. We're called Way. No way.
03:06
>> Grace. I'll be there.
03:12
>> boss mean she's gone.
03:15
You know, I'm totally going to ask her
03:20
>> Dude, I was going to ask her out.
03:22
>> I said it first, bro.
03:24
>> Well, I thought it first. Holmes,
03:26
>> look. If you think
03:29
>> Wait, wait. What are we doing?
03:30
>> What we have is too important to mess it
03:34
up over some girl. I mean, we can get
03:36
laid anytime we want.
03:39
>> I had sex in high school.
03:42
>> Me, too. I'm good at it.
03:44
All right. I say we make a pact. Neither
03:48
of us will go out with Missy Goldberg.
03:51
>> All right. So, that's Missy Goldberg, VB
03:57
Kates, and Molly Ringwald, who neither
03:58
of us can go out with.
04:00
>> Those are the packs.
04:01
>> Oh, and Sheena Eastston. But we probably
04:02
couldn't get her anyway.
04:04
>> Hey, guys. Uh, I need some fashion
04:09
>> how does this look?
04:13
Well, it's it's a little low. Pick it up
04:21
A little bit more. A little bit more.
04:25
Now, throw it away.
04:32
>> Come on. This looks good.
04:34
>> Ross, please. Trust me. I buy 30 fashion
04:36
magazines a month. Now, I don't know
04:38
who's running for president or who that
04:40
NATO guy is, but I do know that you have
04:42
to get as far away as you can from that
04:45
>> Damn it. I have this date tomorrow night
04:47
and and I have to look cool.
04:50
>> Well, you know, if you want fashion
04:52
help, Rachel and I are going shopping
04:53
tomorrow. You're more than welcome to
04:55
come with us, right?
04:56
>> Really? That would be great. I I mean, I
04:57
have to do something. She kind of teased
04:59
me about how I dress.
05:01
>> I can see why. Nice shirt.
05:02
>> You're wearing the same shirt.
05:06
Stupid gap on every corner.
05:10
>> Wow, this place is awesome.
05:17
>> You know what? We should just go. I'm
05:19
not going to find anything here. This
05:21
stuff is ridiculous. Oh,
05:22
>> this place is great.
05:24
>> Ra, come on. I'm not going to wear any
05:28
of this. Nothing silver.
05:30
>> Okay. Nothing with hair and nothing with
05:32
padlocks on it. Of course. Look, look. I
05:36
know that some of this stuff is out
05:39
there, but I mean, come on. Look at
05:40
this. Look at this sweater. I mean, this
05:42
>> Wow. This is really soft.
05:46
>> Down from 700. You're saving like 200
05:51
>> Both logic and math are taking a serious
05:57
>> Hey, check this out. It's totally you.
06:02
Wow. Actually, this this looks pretty
06:11
>> Boys will be boys.
06:18
>> What? They will be.
06:21
>> All right, that's it. I'm getting mad at
06:23
>> No, no, no. Ross, wait. Come on. All
06:24
right. You know what? There's other
06:26
stuff. Here's some nice shirts. Look at
06:27
these these nice pants.
06:29
>> Huh. Actually, these these might look
06:30
>> Yes, they will. You know what you should
06:33
do? Just go take a walk. All right. I
06:35
know your size and I'm going to I'm
06:37
going to pick out some really good stuff
06:38
>> Yes. And I know what looks sexy on guys.
06:41
Please just wear what I suggest and she
06:43
is going to go nuts for you.
06:45
>> So, you're saying uh if I wear these
06:47
pants, I might be getting into hers.
06:49
>> Why do men keep talking to me like this?
06:54
>> Some really great stuff.
06:58
>> Yeah. Yeah. But I'm not sure about some
07:00
>> Oh, really? Hey, do you want to try some
07:04
of them on for me? Oh, okay.
07:05
Wait, are we in Joey's imagination?
07:08
>> Oh, no. I took one of Ross' bags by
07:13
mistake, and one of mine is missing. Oh,
07:15
well, Ross probably has it. You can get
07:18
>> So, what do you think?
07:27
I think we're not wearing the same shirt
07:32
>> Yeah. Yeah. Rachel picked it out for me.
07:37
She told me to trust her. And you know
07:39
what? I'm glad I did. I turned quite a
07:40
few heads on my way over here.
07:42
>> Dude, I really don't think you should be
07:47
>> Oh, I see. Somebody's afraid of a little
07:50
competition with the ladies.
07:53
>> Looks like someone is the ladies.
07:56
You're just jealous because you couldn't
08:00
pull this off. Yeah. Now, if you'll
08:02
excuse me, I have a date.
08:04
>> See? All eyes on me.
08:09
>> Wow, this place looks great.
08:18
>> Oh, you are going to love it. And I'm so
08:19
glad we're finally doing this.
08:22
>> What are you guys doing?
08:48
>> Try it. I can't feel a thing.
08:50
>> This is packing.
09:03
>> We're taking a break
09:04
>> jumping on the bed.
09:07
>> All right. Rachel's party is in a couple
09:10
of hours and there's a lot to do. Now,
09:12
Ross, you've got Geller Blood. You're in
09:14
charge of these Yahoos.
09:16
>> All right. She's right. We got to get
09:19
serious. Let's put styrofoam peanuts
09:20
down his pants and kick him.
09:22
>> Yeah, his name is Ross.
09:27
>> Uh, nothing. It's just it's uh it's
09:34
>> Does he um Does little Ross like
09:40
dinosaurs by any chance?
09:42
>> Yeah, they're all he talks about. Hi.
09:44
>> How would he like to come with me to the
09:48
Museum of Natural History after everyone
09:51
else has left? Just the two of us. And
09:53
and he can touch anything he wants.
09:56
I just heard it how you must have heard
10:05
it. And that's not good. Um, let me
10:06
start again. I'm a paleontologist. Uh,
10:08
you'll be there with us. And the
10:11
touching refers only to bones, fossils.
10:13
>> You could really arrange that.
10:20
>> You let Rachel come back and it's done.
10:21
>> Well, I guess having Rachel back
10:25
wouldn't be the worst thing in the
10:27
>> Yeah. Yes. Oh, thank you. This is great.
10:28
Thank you so much. And I swear your
10:31
kid's going to have the time of his
10:32
>> That's great. I worry about little Ross.
10:34
He's he's always reading. He's
10:36
collecting rocks. And he's obsessed with
10:37
>> He'll be fine. You You've been quiet all
10:40
morning. Is everything okay?
10:43
>> You sure you're all right?
10:47
>> Okay. Um, well, I'm going to go uh grab
10:51
>> In the future, when a girl asks for some
10:59
ill-advised sympathy sex, just do it.
11:02
>> Wait, wait. You're uh you're mad at me
11:07
about last night. I was just trying to
11:09
do the right thing.
11:12
>> Really? Well, it seems to me if you had
11:13
done the right thing, I would not have
11:15
woken up today feeling stupid and
11:16
embarrassed. I would have woken up
11:18
feeling comforted and satisfied.
11:20
>> I can't believe this. What? I was just
11:28
being a good guy. I treated you with
11:30
with respect and understanding.
11:32
>> Oh, that's so hot.
11:34
Hey, I was looking out for you.
11:36
>> Oh, really? Well, Ross, you know what? I
11:38
am a big girl. I don't need someone
11:40
telling me what is best for me.
11:42
>> I got to say, I've not had sex a lot of
11:44
times before. This is the worst ever.
11:46
>> Oh, really? Really? Well, it wasn't very
11:50
good for me either.
11:52
>> Oh, okay. You know, hey, hey, you know
11:53
what? You know what? To avoid this
11:54
little thing in the future, let's just
11:56
say you and me never having sex again.
11:58
>> That's right. Sex is off the table. I am
12:01
never having sex with you again.
12:04
>> Dr. Green, are you feeling better?
12:13
Okay, Ross. I I realized that you didn't
12:28
expect to walk in and see that, but uh
12:30
let me explain. Okay,
12:33
>> we weren't doing anything.
12:34
>> Ra, he just saw us.
12:37
>> But what you saw that that is the extent
12:43
of it. Okay, one kiss.
12:45
>> No, come on. That is a lie. We also
12:46
kissed in Barbados.
12:47
Okay. We also kissed in Barbados, but we
12:52
didn't plan it. Okay. And the only
12:55
reason that that happened was was
12:56
because I saw you kissing Charlie.
12:57
>> Yeah, you started it. I have got to
12:59
>> Look, we we probably should have talked
13:05
to you about this before it ever
13:07
>> Oh, we feel so terrible about this,
13:11
>> Yeah, but it did happen.
13:14
>> can we just close the door?
13:38
>> But if I hadn't walked in here, would
13:54
>> Probably. No. No.
13:56
>> Ross, this is not how we wanted you to
14:01
find out about this. You have every
14:03
>> I'm not going nuts. Do you see me going
14:05
>> No, but you know what I mean.
14:08
If you two are happy, then I'm happy for
14:15
>> Absolutely. I'm fine.
14:26
I don't know why it's coming out all
14:33
loud and squeaky cuz really I'm fine.
14:34
I'm not saying I wasn't a little
14:41
surprised to see you guys kissing. I
14:43
mean, at first I was like,
14:47
but now that I've had time to absorb it,
14:52
>> it's all working out.
15:02
Me and Charlie and you two. You know
15:05
we should all have dinner. Yes, we'll do
15:14
it tomorrow night. I'll cook.
15:16
>> Look, don't don't you think that'll be a
15:20
>> Weird? What? What's weird? The only
15:22
thing weird would be if someone didn't
15:25
like Mexican food because I'm making
15:27
>> she and Phoebe took the stripper to the
15:41
>> Did you know Chandler kissed Rachel?
15:46
>> What? When When was this?
15:49
>> 1987. The weekend you guys visited me at
15:51
>> Oh my god, that's wild.
15:55
>> Yeah, but it was like a million years
15:57
ago. So, it doesn't matter.
15:58
>> Well, it matters to me.
16:00
>> Because the night you kissed Rachel was
16:01
the night I kissed Rachel for the very
16:03
first time. You kissed her that night,
16:05
>> Two guys in one night. Wow. I thought
16:08
she became a sled after she got her nose
16:11
>> Seriously, where did this happen?
16:15
>> Okay. After you told me she was passed
16:16
out in our room, I went in there to make
16:19
sure she was all right. She was lying on
16:21
my bed, all buried in people's coats.
16:23
Well, I I went to kiss her on the
16:27
forehead, you know, but it was so dark I
16:28
accidentally got her lips. I I started
16:30
to pull away, but then I I felt her
16:32
start to kiss me back. It was only for a
16:34
second, but it was amazing. And now, now
16:36
I find out that you kissed her first.
16:39
>> Oh, wait. What bed did you say she was
16:41
>> I'm pretty sure I put her on my bed.
16:45
>> No, she was definitely on my bed.
16:47
>> Why would I kiss a girl and then put her
16:48
>> Well, then who was on my bed?
16:52
>> you were under the pile of coats. I was
17:02
>> You were my midnight mystery kisser.
17:13
>> You were MY FIRST KISS WITH RACHEL.
17:17
>> You were my first kiss ever.
17:21
>> WHAT DID I MARRY INTO?
17:26
>> All right. Okay. Be careful.
17:29
>> Careful. Watch her here. Watch her hair,
17:32
>> right? She's got like three hairs.
17:36
>> I know. I know. But they're just so
17:38
beautiful. Oh my god. I just pulled one
17:40
>> I promise you she's safe. Okay, now
17:44
watch. Watch how much she loves this.
17:46
>> are you ready to Here we go.
17:49
Oh, look at that. She does like it.
18:02
>> See, I told you.
18:04
Oh my god. Look at her. She's a little
18:12
Oh god. Oh, let me push. Can I push?
18:16
Oh god. Okay. Get Get the camera. It's
18:20
in It's in the diaper bag.
18:23
See scared of the swings. I bet you FEEL
18:26
I BROUGHT the camera for Emma's video.
18:31
>> Oh, good. Good. We had this idea to make
18:33
a birthday video for Emma and we'll give
18:36
it to her when she's 18.
18:37
>> Oh, cool. Wow. It's like a time capsule.
18:39
>> Oh, just think she's going to be
18:43
watching that video on a TV that hasn't
18:45
even been invented yet
18:47
with friends who right now are just like
18:49
And they'll be living in a in a floating
18:53
city that the humans built to escape the
18:55
>> So, is uh Emma awake yet?
19:05
>> Oh, no. It's still nap time, but she'll
19:07
>> Uh, where's Joey?
19:09
>> I said it's still nap time.
19:10
>> Hey, there's Uncle Joey.
19:14
>> Hey, say something to Emma on her 18th
19:17
What? What? It's for her hot friends.
19:25
When they see this, you'll be 52 and
19:29
starting to think about settling down.
19:31
>> So glad you came.
19:38
>> I can't believe Emma's already won.
19:38
>> I remember your first birthday. Ross was
19:41
jealous of all the attention we were
19:44
giving you. He pulled on his testicles
19:46
so hard we had to take him to the
19:48
There's something you didn't know about
19:56
>> I'll love you forever. I'll like you for
20:00
always. As long as I'm living my baby,
20:04
>> Thank you so much for that gift.
20:16
I was not ready for this today.
20:20
>> Emma, your name poses a dilemma
20:23
cuz not much else with Emma. Maybe the
20:27
actor Richard Crana, he played the
20:30
commanding officer in Rambo. Happy
20:32
No, of course not. No, I I've also, you
20:45
know, prepared a reading.
20:49
sex and the single mother,
20:53
>> finding your G-spot.
20:58
>> Hello, Emma. Happy 18th birthday.
21:03
>> Right now, that seems so far away. 17
21:06
>> Yes. You'll be all grown up by then, and
21:09
>> Well, your grandfather and I might not
21:14
>> That's true. This message could be
21:17
coming to you from beyond the grave,
21:19
>> After all, my parents died very young.
21:22
>> And my cholesterol is off the charts.
21:25
>> Remember, Emma, heart disease kills
21:30
>> Okay, cut. Great. Great. That was That
21:33
>> Oh, good. Well, you know what? While
21:37
we're waiting, you guys could tape your
21:40
message to Emma for her 18th birthday.
21:41
>> Hi, Emma. It's the year 2020.
21:46
Are you still enjoying your nap?
21:49
>> We're Aunt Monica and Uncle Chandler, by
21:54
the way. You may not recognize us
21:56
because we haven't spoken to your
21:58
parents in 17 years.
21:59
We used to be married, but then we
22:02
missed a weekend away together and
22:03
things kind of unraveled
22:05
>> You know, I'm thinking about letting
22:08
Emma have her first cookie.
22:10
>> Her first cookie? She has cookies all
22:12
>> I've never given her a cookie.
22:15
>> Oh, and for the record, I've also never
22:22
given her frosting from a can.
22:24
Hey, Ra. The adoption agency needs
22:27
letters of recommendation, and we were
22:29
wondering if you would write one for us.
22:31
>> Of course, I'd be honored.
22:32
>> I think there's been an oversight.
22:40
>> Sure, we would have asked you. We just
22:43
thought you wouldn't be interested.
22:44
>> Yeah, it's just that we don't think of
22:46
you as really being so much with the
22:47
>> Well, hey, wait, wait. Oh, hey.
22:50
Clearly, we were wrong.
22:54
>> Look, I got a lot of nice stuff to say
22:58
about you guys, okay? And I know how
22:59
much you want to have a baby, and I
23:02
would love to help you get one.
23:03
>> You know what? Enjoy, we want you to do
23:07
>> Thank you. All right, let me see how I'm
23:09
Dear baby adoption decider people,
23:14
>> so excited about your letter.
23:19
>> What you What you working on? Oh, Monica
23:22
and Chandler's recommendation. I want it
23:24
to sound smart, but I don't know any big
23:26
words or anything. So,
23:28
>> well, why don't you use your thesaurus?
23:29
>> What' I just say?
23:31
>> Here you uh you highlight the word you
23:36
>> Uh go under tools and the thesaurus
23:40
gives a whole list of choices. You can
23:46
pick the word that sounds smartest. Oh
23:49
my god, that's great. I'm smart. No, no,
23:51
I'm brainy, bright, clever. I love this
23:54
Look out, ladies. Joey Triotti's got the
23:59
>> How'd the interview go?
24:04
>> You know, I always feel that way after
24:07
an interview. I'll bet it went better
24:08
>> Well, I didn't get the job at Gucci and
24:11
I got fired from Ralph Lauren.
24:14
>> That is a bad interview.
24:16
>> What are you What are you talking about?
24:19
How'd this happen? Well, my boss was at
24:20
the same restaurant where I was having
24:23
my interview and he heard everything.
24:25
So, later he calls me into his office
24:27
and he tells me that he's going to have
24:29
to let me go because I'm not a team
24:30
player. And I say, "Wait a minute. No,
24:32
yes, I am." And then I had to sit there
24:34
for 45 minutes while he proved that that
24:36
>> Oh, God. I'm so sorry.
24:43
Hey, what what's this?
24:47
It's a It's a bottle of champagne. Why
24:52
>> I guess it's here because I got tenure.
24:56
>> Congratulations.
24:59
>> Congratulations.
25:00
>> This is the single greatest day of my
25:01
professional career. Gunther, six
25:03
>> Six? You want me to join?
25:06
>> Oh, I thought Joey was here. Five is
25:08
I'm going to have a lugie in my coffee
25:14
>> Ooh, Israeli champagne.
25:18
>> I got tenure. I didn't win the lottery.
25:24
>> Hey, Rich. So, uh, how did your thing
25:27
>> Oh, it's good. Yeah, but I'm not going
25:30
to hear about that for a couple of days.
25:32
>> Oh, you know what? You're going to get
25:33
it. I I I I can feel it.
25:35
>> Well, everybody, here's to Ross. and and
25:39
to years of hard work finally paying off
25:42
>> and to knowing that your career doesn't
25:46
>> but also knowing it means a lot,
25:50
>> but more importantly to full
25:55
>> that center around work.
25:57
>> You know what the best part about this
26:05
is? I can never be fired.
26:07
>> No, seriously. I have job security for
26:09
life, you know. I mean, I never have to
26:12
worry. Oh. Oh, look at look how happy
26:15
>> Oh, it's not that I got fired today and
26:22
I didn't get the other job.
26:26
>> Ra, I'm so sorry.
26:31
>> great. I feel like an idiot.
26:34
>> No, it's okay. You didn't know. Oh,
26:36
>> little heads up would have been nice.
26:40
>> Okay, here we go.
26:44
>> I think I'm going to take off.
26:53
>> Oh, you guys, this was an amazing night.
27:00
Thank you so much. I love you.
27:02
>> I don't get a goodbye.
27:16
>> She says goodbye to everyone but me.
27:24
>> Well, maybe she thought that with all of
27:26
your history, it could be, you know,
27:28
>> Well, it needs to be placit.
27:32
All right, let's think about this. I
27:35
mean, there's got to be an explanation.
27:36
Uh, did you do anything to make her mad?
27:38
>> No, I don't I don't think so.
27:41
>> You know, maybe she was just really
27:42
spent from our talk. It was pretty
27:45
intense. Yeah, mine, too.
27:47
>> Mine was a humdinger.
27:48
I mean, don't I deserve anything? I
27:52
mean, a few tears, a cursory hug.
27:54
>> Ros. If you're this upset, you should go
28:03
and talk to her. Come on and say what?
28:05
You owe me a goodbye. That mean it's got
28:08
more pride than that.
28:10
>> I don't get a goodbye.
28:16
>> Everyone gets a goodbye but me. What do
28:19
I got to do to get a goodbye? Huh? Uh be
28:21
best friends with you? Uh go out with
28:24
you? Have have a baby with you? Oh, wait
28:26
a minute. WAIT A MINUTE. I DID ALL THOSE
28:28
Or maybe maybe I'm just not giving you
28:32
enough credit. Uh I mean it is difficult
28:34
to say goodbye to five people. Uh
28:37
goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. It's
28:39
physically impossible.
28:42
>> Okay. Wait, wait. Let me tell them.
28:46
>> Joey's going to be a celebrity guest on
28:48
>> Really? Which one?
28:51
>> Fish, seaweed, a sunken ship.
28:54
>> Things you find in the ocean. YOU'RE
28:58
GOING TO BE A PYRAMID.
28:59
THAT WAS OUR FAVORITE GAME SHOW EVER.
29:03
>> Except for match game
29:04
>> or win, lose or draw.
29:05
>> Oh, what did I marry into?
29:07
>> Well, do you guys want to come down
29:10
tomorrow and watch me tape the show?
29:11
>> Oh, we can't. We were throwing Phoebe a
29:12
bachelorette party.
29:14
>> Yeah, sorry, boys. This ride's closing.
29:15
>> Oh, and Chandler and I have this stupid
29:20
college alumni thing. I can't believe
29:22
you get to meet Donnie Osman.
29:24
Ross and I always wanted to be Donnie
29:31
>> You guys just keep getting cooler and
29:35
>> Yeah, we used to perform for our family
29:39
>> Oh god, that's right. I blocked that
29:42
>> I'm a little bit country
29:46
>> and I'm a little bit rock and roll.
29:48
>> I'm leaving you.
29:53
I just got back on the plane and I just
29:57
That is so not how I wanted things to
30:02
It's just that I wasn't expecting to see
30:07
you and and all of a sudden you're there
30:10
and saying these things and
30:12
now I'm just sitting here and thinking
30:16
of all the stuff I should have said and
30:19
I mean, I didn't even get to tell you
30:23
that I love you, too.
30:24
Because of course I do. I love you.
30:28
>> I've got to see you. I've got to get off
30:44
>> Okay. Excuse me. Miss, please sit down.
30:50
>> No, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, but I
30:53
need to get off the plane. Okay. I need
30:55
to just tell someone that I love them.
30:56
>> Miss, I can't let you off the plane.
30:58
>> LET HER OFF THE PLANE.
31:00
>> I am afraid you are going to have to
31:03
>> Oh, please, Miss. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
31:05
>> TRY TO UNDERSTAND.
31:07
>> OH, come on, miss. Isn't there any way
31:10
that you can just let me off the
31:12
>> Oh my god. Did she get off the plane?
31:17
Did you get off the plane?
31:19
>> I got off the plane.
31:23
>> You got off the plane.
31:36