Get everybody else. Finally, I can start
00:00
I'm sorry. Apparently, I've opened the
00:07
>> Okay, Monica, come on. Okay, what what
00:15
>> Can I ask you just a little question?
00:19
What? See, I've been waiting my whole
00:24
life to be engaged. And unlike some
00:25
people, I only plan on doing this once.
00:27
So, you know, I know I may be selfish
00:32
and I'm sorry about it, but I I was kind
00:33
of hoping tonight could just be about
00:35
>> Oh, honey, but it is. No, it's not. No,
00:37
no, now it's about you and Ross getting
00:39
>> Yeah, you kind of stole my thunder.
00:42
>> Okay, hold on. Hold on. We did not steal
00:45
your thunder because we are not getting
00:47
>> Yeah, no. And and and you know what?
00:50
>> Hey, I swear, we just kissed.
00:56
WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?
01:02
ARE YOU ARE YOU GETTING BACK TOGETHER?
01:04
CAN I SING AT YOUR WEDDING?
01:06
>> THUNDER BEING STOLEN.
01:09
>> OKAY, PHOEBE, it's nothing.
01:10
>> Look, what's not make a big deal out of
01:12
this. It was a one-time thing. It
01:14
doesn't even matter.
01:17
>> I cannot believe you guys are talking
01:21
about this. The problems in the bedroom
01:23
ARE BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN.
01:25
ALL RIGHT? NOW, CHANDLER is doing THE
01:29
>> MONICA, MONICA, look at this lamp. Is
01:33
this tacky or what? We have to have
01:35
>> Rach, I think we have enough regular
01:38
>> What? Oh, come on. I mean, it's it's not
01:40
like it's not like I'm asking for this
01:42
girly clock or anything, which by the
01:44
way, I also think is really cool.
01:46
It doesn't go with any of my stuff.
01:50
>> Well, what about my stuff?
01:53
>> You don't have any stuff.
01:56
>> You still think of it as your apartment,
01:58
You think of it as your apartment and
02:04
I'm just someone who rents a room.
02:06
okay, while you mhm on that for a while,
02:11
I'm going to go find a place for my new
02:13
>> You know what we haven't played in a
02:24
>> Okay, Monica, let it go.
02:30
>> Did you know I was allergic to
02:33
>> Well, then you'll just have to eat the
02:35
>> Okay, all right. It was an accident, I
02:49
swear. All right, I I was I WAS PUTTING
02:51
ON MY JACKET and and the thing and and
02:53
the and the lamp and it and it broke.
02:54
>> Oh, please, Monica, you've always hated
02:56
ALL OF A SUDDEN, IT'S JUST MAGICALLY
03:01
>> Phoebe, tell her.
03:04
>> Okay, I didn't see it cuz I was putting
03:05
on my jacket, but I want to believe you.
03:07
>> Monica just broke my seashell lamp.
03:16
I'm going to die alone.
03:20
>> Oh, what you got there?
03:31
>> Something else that's not yours that you
03:32
I know you like this and I I want you to
03:38
I think it'll look good in our
03:41
>> Hey, new wallet, huh?
03:48
>> Oh, yeah, it was time. The old condom
03:50
ring in the leather just doesn't say
03:52
cool anymore, you know.
03:53
you just put an empty carton back in the
03:57
>> Oh, yeah, I know, but the garbage was
03:59
>> Have you ever taken out the trash?
04:03
>> Well, I thought you liked doing it.
04:06
>> Third door on the left.
04:14
>> Oh, hey, Mr. Treeger.
04:27
>> What are you doing?
04:47
I'm sorry. It's a little old, but
04:54
>> You're clogging up the chute I just
04:58
spent a half hour unclogging.
04:59
>> I'm sorry. I didn't I don't come in here
05:02
>> Uh-huh. Yeah, of course you don't. Cuz
05:05
you're a little princess.
05:07
Daddy, buy me a pizza. Daddy, buy me a
05:10
candy factory. Daddy, make the cast of
05:12
Cats sing happy birthday to me.
05:15
>> What, you think YOU CAN JUST COME IN
05:19
HERE, make a mess, a big man in the
05:20
coveralls will come and clean it up,
05:22
Well, why don't you think of someone
05:25
>> Okay, I'm sorry.
05:32
>> God, you're going to cry about it?
05:40
Is that my sweater or a handbag
05:44
>> You don't have the guts.
05:49
>> Oh, yeah? Well, at least I wasn't too
05:52
chicken to tell some guy I thought HE
05:53
OH, ALL RIGHT. STOP!
06:05
WHO CAN EVEN REMEMBER why you started
06:14
fighting in the first place?
06:16
>> SHE KNEW THAT I LIKED HIM. SHE WOULDN'T
06:17
>> YES, THAT'S RIGHT.
06:22
LOOK AT YOUR PURSE.
06:27
Look at your sweater.
06:30
Look at yourselves.
06:33
I'll help you fix your sweater.
06:38
throw out your purse.
06:42
I'm sorry that I made you stop seeing
06:46
>> Well, I'm sorry I went out with him when
06:50
I knew you liked him.
06:51
>> I'm sorry that I borrowed your gloves.
06:55
>> All right, Monica, if there is something
06:59
that you would like to share
07:01
>> had no right to go out with him.
07:02
>> That is the most ridiculous
07:03
>> I DID NOT SELL YOU OUT!
07:07
>> Absolutely sold me out! Let me talk!
07:08
>> Did you just flick me?
07:14
Okay, well, you wouldn't let me finish
07:17
>> QUICK! FLICKING!
07:24
>> FLICKING! You flicked me first!
07:26
>> YOU KNOW, LET'S NOT DO THIS. LET'S
07:34
OKAY, NOW I'M GOING TO KICK SOME ASS.
07:50
>> ALL RIGHT. NOW, I WILL LET GO IF you
08:01
WHAT DO YOU YOU WANT me to stop seeing
08:06
him? Is that what you want?
08:07
>> You want me to just call him up and tell
08:09
HIM THAT YOU'RE SEEING HIM INSTEAD. IS
08:11
THAT WHAT YOU WANT?
08:13
>> OH, THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT.
08:17
>> You know what? If we were in prison, you
08:27
guys would be LIKE MY
08:29
>> HEY, RACH, COME ON. WE'RE GOING TO BE
08:35
LATE FOR THE EYE DOCTOR APPOINTMENT.
08:36
>> All right. Let's get this over with.
08:38
>> I MEAN, look at this mess. I mean, we're
08:51
going to probably have to clean this up,
08:53
you know? I mean, we're going to have to
08:55
>> If you thought that this mess was going
09:00
to bother me, you are wrong. All right,
09:02
>> Oh my god. [music]
09:15
What does that thing do?
09:16
>> Uh, that's an eye removal machine.
09:20
>> All right, I'm out of here.
09:21
>> I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
09:22
>> I'm Dr. Miller. Monica told me you were
09:25
a little nervous, but don't worry,
09:27
everything's going to be just fine.
09:28
>> So, we're done then?
09:29
>> Almost, but first we got to start.
09:30
>> This is the glaucoma test.
09:33
>> Put your chin here.
09:37
you're going to feel a small puff of air
09:41
A small puff of air. Now, come on.
09:45
I'm sorry. All right. I'm going to stay
09:57
You know what? I'm going to hold her
10:06
>> You know what? You're young. You
10:16
probably don't HAVE GLAUCOMA.
10:18
>> OKAY. SO, IT'S VERY VERY NICE TO MEET
10:22
YOU, SIR. AND I'M OW! HEY! WHAT are you
10:25
>> Okay. You have a small minor infection
10:28
in that left eye. I want you to take
10:31
these drops three times a day for a
10:33
week, and you'll be as good as new.
10:35
>> Yeah, no. I I don't I don't put things
10:36
>> Okay, then. I guess we'll see you back
10:39
>> And I'll fit you for a glass eye.
10:43
>> Okay. Just give me the damn drops.
10:44
>> Very good, Monica.
10:53
Do you know where they are?
10:57
>> Not even close. Okay. Well, then you
11:14
know what? Help me. I need help. I can't
11:16
do this. All right. Come on. Let's do
11:17
>> All right. Sit down.
11:20
>> All right. Put your head back.
11:21
Now, open your eyes.
11:25
>> How many fingers am I holding up?
11:30
>> Oh my god, I was thinking four.
11:32
>> All right, you know what? Why don't we
11:36
start with a practice one, okay?
11:37
>> On three, one, two, three.
11:42
>> My pillow's all wet.
11:48
>> Well, well, you said it was practice.
11:49
>> Then why did you move?
11:51
>> Because I knew you were lying.
11:52
>> ALL RIGHT, COME HERE.
11:56
>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
11:57
>> WHAT MONICA, stop it.
11:57
OH MY GOD, STOP IT.
11:59
GOING I'M GOING TO TURN IT OVER. I AM
12:01
>> Get these SOCKS IN YOUR EYES.
12:08
>> OH MY GOD, you really ARE FREAKISHLY
12:10
>> MONICA, STOP IT.
12:16
>> WELL, [laughter]
12:22
YOU KNOW, IF JOEY AND CHANDLER WALKED IN
12:23
RIGHT NOW, we could make a fortune.
12:24
>> Can you pass me the TV Guide?
12:27
>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
12:31
>> OH MY GOD, HOLD IT OPEN.
12:35
>> [cheering and applause]
12:39
>> WE'LL SEE YOU IN ABOUT THREE OR FOUR
12:44
>> Are we greeting each other this way now?
12:54
Because I LIKE THAT.
12:55
I CLEANED. I did the windows, I did the
12:59
floors. I've even used all those
13:02
attachments on the vacuum, except for
13:04
that little round one with the bristles.
13:05
I don't know what that's for.
13:07
>> Oh yeah, nobody knows, and we're not
13:08
>> So, what do you think?
13:11
>> Really, really, it looks great.
13:13
I I I see you moved the green ottoman.
13:20
>> How did that happen?
13:26
>> I don't know. I thought it looked better
13:30
And I And also it's an extra seat on the
13:32
>> Yeah, it's interesting.
13:36
>> But you know what? Just for fun, let's
13:40
see what it looked like in the old spot.
13:43
>> Just to compare.
13:46
See. Ha! Well, it looks good there, too.
13:49
>> Let's just leave it there for a while.
13:53
>> Can't believe you tried to move the
13:56
>> Thank god you didn't try to fan out the
13:59
magazines. I mean, she'll scratch your
14:01
>> GUYS, I AM NOT that bad.
14:04
>> Yeah, you are, Monica.
14:06
Remember if I lived with you? You were
14:09
like a little, YOU KNOW,
14:11
>> THAT IS SO UNFAIR.
14:16
>> OH, COME ON. When we were kids, yours
14:18
was the only Raggedy Ann doll that
14:20
>> Okay, so I'm responsible. I'm organized.
14:25
But hey, I can be a kook.
14:27
>> All right, you madcap gal.
14:32
Try to imagine this. The phone bill
14:35
arrives, but you don't pay it right
14:38
>> Because you're a kook.
14:42
>> INSTEAD, YOU WAIT UNTIL THEY SEND you a
14:45
>> I could do that. Okay. Okay. Then you
14:49
let me go grocery shopping, and I buy
14:53
laundry detergent, but it's not the one
14:56
with the easy pour spout.
14:58
>> Why would SOMEONE DO THAT?
15:00
>> ONE MIGHT WONDER.
15:04
>> SOMEONE'S LEFT A glass on the coffee
15:07
table. There's no coaster. It's a cold
15:08
drink. It's a hot day.
15:10
Little beads of condensation are inching
15:12
their way closer and closer to the
15:14
surface of the wood.
15:16
IT'S TRUE. WHO am I?
15:23
>> I GOT TO BED GUYS.
15:36
>> Uh mom, you you're going to leave your
15:39
>> Really? Just just casually strewn about
15:46
that reckless haphazard manner?
15:50
I'll get them tomorrow or not.
15:55
>> If it bothers you that much, just go out
16:19
This is stupid. I don't have to prove
16:27
anything. I'm going to go get them.
16:30
But then everyone will know.
16:33
>> Unless I get them and then wake up
16:36
really early and put them back.
16:38
>> Sorry Pheebs, I guess I'm just really
16:43
sad that I'm leaving. I'm going to miss
16:45
this doesn't have to be so sad though,
16:49
you know? Maybe instead of just thinking
16:51
about how much you're going to miss each
16:53
other, you should like think about some
16:54
of the things that you're not going to
16:56
>> I don't think there's anything.
17:00
>> Come on, there's got to be something.
17:02
>> Great, okay, you can go first.
17:14
>> Uh well, I guess I'm not going to miss
17:15
the fact that you're never allowed to
17:17
move the phone pin.
17:19
>> Good, that's a good one. Okay, Monica,
17:25
anything? You know, does Rachel move the
17:28
>> Always, actually.
17:35
>> Okay, there you go. Does everyone feel
17:38
>> Not just the phone pin.
17:42
I never get my messages.
17:46
>> You get your messages?
17:47
>> Yeah, well, I don't think it really
17:49
counts if you have to read them off the
17:51
back of your hand after you fall asleep
17:52
>> So, so you missed a message from who?
17:55
>> 30 seconds on the clock. Five correct
18:08
questions wins the day. The lightning
18:11
>> Now, what is Joey's favorite food?
18:15
Chandler was how old when he first
18:19
touched a girl's breast?
18:20
>> Joey had an imaginary childhood friend.
18:25
>> Correct. His profession WAS
18:29
>> OH, SPACE COWBOY.
18:30
WHAT IS CHANDLER BING'S JOB?
18:33
>> OH GOSH, does it have something to do
18:40
with numbers and processing?
18:41
He carries a briefcase.
18:43
>> 10 seconds, you need this or you lose
18:44
>> OH, IT'S UM IT'S SOMETHING TO DO WITH
18:46
>> OH, OH, he's a transponster!
18:49
>> THAT'S NOT EVEN A WORD!
18:54
I CAN GET THIS. I CAN GET THIS.
18:58
>> I'M GOING TO THE ROOF. WHO'S WITH ME?
19:05
>> NO, I can't. I got to go.
19:07
>> Come on, an 80-ft inflatable dog loose
19:09
over the city? How often does that
19:11
I saw the giant dog shadow fall over the
19:18
>> Yeah, but did they have to shoot him
19:21
down? I mean, that was just mean.
19:22
Right about now, the turkey should be
19:27
crispy on the outside, juicy on the
19:28
Why are we standing here?
19:33
>> We're waiting for you to open the door.
19:35
You've got the keys.
19:37
>> Yes, you do. When we left, you said,
19:42
>> No, I didn't. I asked, "Got the keys?"
19:46
>> No, no, no. You said, "Got the keys."
19:51
>> Either of you have the keys?
19:54
>> Oh, I've got to get my ticket.
20:00
>> Well, wait, wait. We have a copy of your
20:02
>> WELL, THEN GET IT. GET IT.
20:04
>> HEY, HEY. THAT TONE won't make me go any
20:05
>> I swear you said you had THE KEYS.
20:11
>> NO, I DIDN'T. I WOULDN'T SAY I HAD the
20:13
keys unless I had the keys, AND I
20:15
OBVIOUSLY DID NOT HAVE THE KEYS.
20:16
>> OH, OKAY. ALL RIGHT, that's it. Enough
20:18
with the keys. No one say keys.
20:19
Why would I have the keys?
20:24
>> Aside from the fact that you said you
20:27
>> WELL, YOU SHOULD HAVE.
20:30
>> BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS MY RESPONSIBILITY.
20:33
Isn't it Isn't it enough that I'm making
20:35
Thanksgiving dinner for everyone? YOU
20:36
KNOW, EVERYONE WANTS A DIFFERENT KIND OF
20:38
POTATO. SO, I'M MAKING DIFFERENT KINDS
20:40
OF POTATOES. YOU KNOW, DOES ANYBODY CARE
20:42
WHAT KIND of potatoes I WANT? NO.
20:44
YOU KNOW, JUST AS LONG AS PHOEBE GETS
20:49
HER PEAS AND ONIONS, AND MARIO GETS HIS
20:51
MY FIRST THANKSGIVING, AND I
20:56
>> HEY, MONICA. ONLY DOGS CAN HEAR YOU NOW.
21:04
LOOK, the door's open. Here we go.
21:07
Potatoes are ruined. Potatoes are
21:18
ruined. POTATOES ARE RUINED.
21:19
>> THIS DOESN'T smell like mom's.
21:29
>> No, it doesn't, does it? BUT YOU WANTED
21:32
LOBSTER ROSS. WELL, HERE YOU GO, BUDDY.
21:35
GOD, THIS IS GREAT. THE PLANE IS GONE,
21:41
so I guess I'm stuck here with you guys.
21:43
>> Hey, we all had better plans, okay? This
21:46
was nobody's first choice.
21:48
>> Oh, really? So, WHY WAS I BUSTING MY ASS
21:49
TO MAKE THIS DELICIOUS THANKSGIVING
21:53
>> NOW, THIS FEELS like Thanksgiving.
22:02
Okay, who wants light cheese and who
22:10
Who would even want to know about the
22:14
>> Does anybody want to split this with me?
22:18
>> Mm, you guys have to make a wish.
22:20
>> Come on, YOU KNOW, THANKSGIVING.
22:24
>> WOOHOO! YOU GOT THE BIGGER HALF. What
22:31
>> The bigger half.
22:34
Richard just told me he loved me.
22:41
>> Honey, that's great.
22:44
>> in the top drawer.
22:48
>> There's only one.
23:00
Uh we'll be right there. We just um
23:04
we're trying to decide something.
23:06
They're just trying to decide something.
23:26
>> Oh, good. Good. Good.
23:28
>> So, is um was your mustache did did it
23:36
used to be different?
23:39
How do you uh you know, keep it so neat?
23:47
>> I have a little comb.
23:52
And what do you call that?
23:58
>> Okay. I I will do your laundry for 1
24:02
>> Okay. OKAY. OKAY. I WILL I WILL I will I
24:08
Hey, I will clean the apartment for 2
24:11
>> All right. I'll tell you what. I'll give
24:14
this to you now if you can tell me where
24:15
we keep the dustpan.
24:17
>> So, were you in 'Nam?
24:28
>> Rock, paper, scissors?
24:34
>> NO! YOU HAVE GOT IT completely wrong.
24:46
Jon Savage was Deer Hunter, no legs. Jon
24:49
Voight was Coming Home, couldn't feel
24:52
>> No. No. No way. You've got it totally
24:55
the other way around, my friend. Jon
24:57
Voight was what? What? Oh, uh
24:59
>> It's not going to happen.
25:11
They're doing it tonight. We can do it
25:13
>> Hey, check it out. This is unbelievable.
25:19
Joey has been holding his breath for
25:21
>> DUDE, IS HE TRYING TO KILL ME?
25:29
>> PHOEBE, I want to ask you something.
25:32
>> Um well, since I'm moving out and and
25:35
you're so beautiful,
25:37
how would I move in with you?
25:40
>> Well, that would be great, but then what
25:42
do we do about Denise?
25:43
>> You have a roommate?
25:48
>> Yes, Denise. Denise.
25:49
>> Hey, what is with the secrecy, Phoebe?
25:53
Huh? And what about this Denise? She
25:55
>> Phoebe, I don't understand. How can you
25:59
have a roommate that none of us know
26:00
>> Maybe because you never listen to
26:02
anything that I say. I TALK ABOUT HER
26:03
ALL THE TIME. DENISE!
26:05
>> HEY, GRACE, LISTEN. I WAS THINKING UH
26:09
I'M GOING TO HAVE AN EXTRA room over at
26:10
>> Oh, that's true.
26:12
>> Yeah, why don't you move in with me?
26:13
It'll be great. We get like stay up late
26:15
talking and watch movies and you know
26:16
about naked Thursdays, right?
26:18
>> Yeah, yeah, I think I'm going to find my
26:22
>> I thought naked Thursdays was just our
26:27