– 英语/中文 双语歌词

歌词与翻译

[中文]

好的。因此，当您喝完

茶后，我会查看茶叶并告诉

您的算命。

>> 我不知道你会读茶叶。

>> 哦，是的。我已经这么做很多年了。我

实际上停了下来，因为我是如此

准确，你知道，而且你知道，

生活中最大的乐趣之一就是它

它奇妙的不可预测性，你知道，

而且茶往往会让我小跑。

>> 好的，我完成了。读我的。

>> 好的。哦，我看到一个梯子，

，这可能意味着升职或

暴力死亡。

我是主厨。我无法让

升职。

>> 嗯。嗯。下一个是谁？

>> 好的，我完成了。做我的。

>> 好的。嗯哦，好吧。我看到一个圆圈。哦。

>>哦。这可能意味着您将拥有

一个婴儿，或者您将做出

科学发现。

>> 嗯，我

花了很多时间在实验室里。

>> 你说什么，偷看？

>> 嗯，哇。好的。

哇。耶。

哦，我很快就要见到一个人了，真的

。他将成为我的

梦想中的男人。

可能不是我昨晚梦到的那个人

。

哦，等一下，你们。

在过去的几周里，我

无论走到哪里都看到那个人。我们乘坐

同一辆巴士。我们去了同一个

书店，同一个干洗店。也许他是

茶人。

>> 你看到了吗？他彻底检查了你

，他太可爱了。

>> 我的是村民的照片。

这是什么意思？

哦，你好。

>>哦，是你。我到处都看到你。

>> 我是吉姆。吉姆·纳尔逊.

>> 哦，吉姆。吉姆·纳尔逊.我是菲比菲比

自助餐。

>> 最近肯定见到了很多其他

。

>> 我们有。也许明天晚上我们会在晚餐时见面

。 8:00 左右说

。

>> 好吧，也许我们会的。

哦，

我们总是遇到这样的情况，这不是很有趣吗？

彼此？就好像有人真的

希望我们在一起。

>> 有人这么做了。我。

>> 噢，诙谐的玩笑。干得好。

>> 好。

>> 那么，请简单介绍一下您自己。

>> 哦，好吧。嗯，我是一名按摩师，我

曾经在这个地方工作过。

>> 你喜欢聚会吗？

>> 我我我喜欢我喜欢聚会。

>> 你很狂野，不是吗？

是的，我想有一点。

>> 这没什么。我也很野啊

>> 所以，嗯，无论如何，

我我在纽约生活得有点疯狂，

，我想，嗯，自从我

14 岁起。

>> 对不起，我盯着看。

>> 只是你有最

美丽的眼睛。

>> 哦，别说了。和你的乳房。

>> 好吧，

听着，你有点强势，

但我会给你带来

怀疑的好处，因为似乎宇宙

真的希望我们在一起。那么，为什么

我们不重新开始，好吗？你

可以向我介绍一下你自己。

>> 好吧。

>> 好的。

>> 我为儿童写色情小说。

什么？

>> 它们非常不受欢迎。

>> 天啊。

>> 哦，你可能也有兴趣知道

我有博士学位。

>> 哇，你知道吗？

>> 是的。呃，相当巨大。

>> 我已经准备好开始比赛了。

>> 好的。

>> 我为

房子带来了一堆东西。所以，检查一下。

>> 这是什么？

>> 那是一只狗。每个房子都应该有一只

狗。

没有一个可以在屋顶上撒尿的。

>> 也许它这么大是因为房子是

建在放射性废物上的。

>> 这是为了防止房子打喷嚏吗？

>> 不，不，那是阁楼的鬼魂。

>> 我不想要鬼魂。

>> 好吧，没有人想要鬼魂。

但你有一个，因为房子

坐落在古老的印度墓地

上。

>> 等一下。这所房子建在

放射性废物和一个古老的印度

墓地上。

那永远不会发生。

>> 亲爱的，我能为你做什么？

>> 哦，好吧。我不知道该怎么说，

，但是嗯，我认为当你妻子的灵魂

离开她的身体时，它就有点粘在我身边

了。

你是说你心里有我的妻子？

>> 是的。好的。你不必相信

我，但是你能想到她可能还有

未完成的事情吗？

比如她会在这里闲逛的任何原因？

>> 好吧，我不知道该告诉你什么，

亲爱的。我唯一能想到的是

她总是说在

她死之前，她想看到一切。

>> 一切？

>> 一切。

>> 哇，这么多东西。

>> 哦，等等。我我我记得她还说过

她想最后一次和我一起睡

次。

>> 抱歉。我的脑子里有笑声。

>> 值得一试，不是吗？

>>嗨。

>>嗨。

>> 嘿。

>> 哦，怎么了？

>> 好吧，

你知道我看到的那个通灵者吗？

>> 是的。好吧，她告诉我这周我

就会死去，所以我对此感到有点沮丧

。

>> 什么？

>> 是的。我知道你们对通灵术了解不多，

，但是

几乎是你们能得到的

最糟糕的。

>> 这太疯狂了。

>> 我不敢相信她会对你说这句话

。

>> 是的，亲爱的。你不相信她，是吗

？我不知道。她，你知道，说

我会生三胞胎，但她也说其中一个

是黑人。

>> 只是出于好奇，她有告诉你

你打算怎么去吗？不，因为她

直到

课程结束时才告诉我我会死。我

不会再浪费一个小时

在那里。我的意思是，我只剩下一周

了，你知道吗？我现在真的必须开始

生活了。

>> 嘿。嘿，费普斯。你还活着。

>> 你感觉怎么样？噢，等待死亡真是

太累了。

哦，顺便问一下，你认为你

>>是小偷吗？你在干什么？

>> 我正在为我的死者做好准备。

你不认为我死了吗？那不是

关闭了吗？

>> 哦，是的。吓死我了。我

以为我们永远失去了你。

宝贝，你想躺下吗？

>> 是的。谢谢。听着，你能帮我

一个忙吗？你能在

几个小时后叫醒我吗？你知道，如果可以的话。

嘿。嘿。听听这个。

我的阅读错误。我不会

死。

>> 真的吗？你怎么知道？

>> 因为我的通灵已经死了。

她一定是读错了卡片。

>> 哦，对不起。啊，她比我好。

>> 嘿，我们来烤饼干吧。

>> 你认识我的朋友艾比，她剃了

头吗？

她说，如果你想打破

坏男朋友的循环，你可以做

清洁仪式。

>> 谎言，这个女人自愿大胆。

>> 是的。

所以，我们明天晚上就可以了，你们#{27​​}。今天是情人节。

...

太完美了。好的。嗯，什么样的

仪式？好的。我们可以嗯，我们可以烧掉他们给我们的

东西

>>或

或

>>或者我们可以赤身裸体地唱着歌跳舞，

你知道，拿着棍子。

>> 燃烧很好。

>> 燃烧很好。是的，我没有烧。

好的，现在我们需要鼠尾草树枝

和圣酒。

>> 我只有牛至和弗雷斯卡。

>> 嗯

>> 没关系。

>> 好的。

好的。

好吧。现在，我们需要

正义之人的精液。

好的，二月。你知道吗？如果我们有

，我们一开始就不会在

中进行仪式。

我们刚刚开始扔东西。嗯，

是的。好的。哦好的。嗯，

好的。巴里的信。

Adam Ritter 的平角短裤。

>> 我有与 Noulu 共进晚餐

的收据。

>> 看，有一张 Scotty

Jared 的裸体照片。

>> 哦，让我看看。

>> 嘿，他穿着一件毛衣。

>> 否。

>> E.

好的。这是

Paulo 的最后一份祝福。

>> 等等，等等，Rachel，这不是

纯洁吗？

天啊。不。射击，基蒂。不。不。不。

没有。射击。快点。你。快点。疯狂的。

天啊。

>> 什么？没有什么。没有什么。

>> 什么？怎么了？

>> 我只是

我有一种非常强烈的感觉

这只猫是我的妈妈。

您是指您在蒙托克遇到的妈妈吗？她

是一只猫。

>> 不，不，不。她是一位人类女士。这

是我妈妈莉莉的精神。那个自杀的

。

>> 你确定她在猫里还是

你又吃了你奶奶的青光眼

药？

>> 不，怀疑论博士。

我确定。首先，好吧，有

的感觉。

好的。另一方面，

她进入我的吉他盒

的事实怎么样，它的内衬是橙色毛毡的。

我妈妈最喜欢的鱼是橙色的

红毛鱼。

猫喜欢鱼。

嗨，妈妈。

哦，我已经 17

年没见过这个笑容了。

老兄，Phoe 的妈妈有一颗巨大的药丸。

>> 放手吧。

>> 不，小偷。

>> 还有谁想要我特别的

自制布朗尼蛋糕吗？

>> 我要一个。

>> 是的，我不会拥有

中的一个。

>> 不，不，这只是我的牙齿。

>> 我要一个。

>> 那么，这是怎么回事？您需要

牙医吗？我有一个很好的。

>> 谢谢。我也有一个不错的我只是我

我看不到他。看，这就是隐形牙医的

问题。

>> 为什么？你为什么不能去找他们？

>> 因为

每次我去看牙医时，都会有人

死亡。

>> 这太奇怪了。因为每次我

去看牙医时，我都会看不起

卫生员衬衫。

>> 菲比，什么？嗯

什么？

>> 是的。是的。首先，是我的玛丽阿姨。

然后是约翰，我的邮递员。

然后是我的牛仔朋友 Albino

鲍勃。

>> 所有这些人实际上都死了。

>> 是的。当我坐在椅子上时。这就是

为什么我现在如此照顾我的牙齿

。你知道，这与口腔

卫生无关。我使用牙线来拯救生命。

>> 费用。快点。你没有杀任何人。

当

你去看牙医时，这些人恰好死了。这只是

一个巧合。

>> 好吧，告诉他们吧。哦，你不能。

他们死了。

>> 没什么好说的。只是和我一起工作的

人。

>> 来吧。你要和那个家伙出去。

...

他肯定有什么问题。

>> 那么，他有驼峰吗？驼峰？还有

假发？

>> 等等，他吃粉笔吗？

>> 只是因为我不想让她经历

我和卡尔经历过的事情。嗯，

>> 好吧，大家放松一下。这甚至不是

约会。只是两个人出去

吃晚饭，但没有发生性行为。

>> 对我来说听起来像是一次约会。

卡罗尔今天把她的东西搬走了。

>> 我给你倒杯咖啡。

>> 谢谢。

>> 不，哦，不。不，不要停止净化我的

光环。

>> 别放过我的光环。好的。

>> 我会没事的。好的。真的，

大家。我希望她会很幸福。

>> 不，你没有。

>> 不，我不。让她见鬼去吧。她离开了

我。

>> 再见。

我刚刚为我们预订了米歇尔的

餐厅以及这位音乐人的门票，

庆祝我们作为

订婚夫妇的第一个节日。

>> Betrod

夫妇。

>> 嘿。

>> 嘿。

>> 哦，

宝贝

头骨。

>> 哦，是的，这是我妈妈的。

>> 天哪。

>> 不，不，不。这不是这不是我妈妈。它

属于我妈妈。

>> 是的。虽然她以前每年圣诞节都会把它拿出来

提醒我们，即使

虽然是圣诞节，人们仍然会死

>>，你可以在里面放糖果。

>> 嘿。

>> 嘿。嘿。甘草。

>> 当然。

>> 嘿。我刚刚发现今年

假期我得到了本。

>> 哦，那太好了。

>> 你要打扮成圣诞老人吗？

>> 不。我的意思是，我知道苏珊每

年都会做一次，但我想我想利用这

年教他所有关于光明节的知识。

>> 也许我可以教本有关

圣诞头骨以及人们如何死亡的知识。

>> 您可能需要利用今年来向

Ben 介绍菲比。

>> 这个地方太压抑了。如果我必须

在这里工作，我会自杀。

>> 你显然还没有。

>> 我能为您提供什么帮助？嗯，我需要更改

我的名字。看，我需要更改

，因为我正在逃避法律。

>> 你很有趣。

>> 需要填写此表格。

>> 好的。嗯，我只是所以，我知道。我不知道

它到底是如何工作的。看，我的名字

是嗯巴菲特，我丈夫的名字是

哈尼根。那么，它应该是自助餐

Hanigan 还是 Hanigan 自助餐？

>> 它可以是你想要的任何东西。

>> 好吧，没什么。

>> 是的，任何东西。

>> 哦，这可能需要一段时间。

滚出我的队伍。

>> 好的。

>> 嘿。嘿，盗贼们。哦，不再是了。我今天

更改了它。

>> 哦，对不起，哈尼根夫人。

>> 又错了。

显然，您可以将其更改为

任何您想要的内容。所以，我想，

好吧，这是一个发挥创意的机会

。那么，来认识一下康苏埃拉公主

香蕉吊床。

这就是我们要给

宝宝命名的名字。

>> 菲。

>> 呃，康苏埃拉公主。

>> 你真的把你的名字改成这个了？

>> 嗯嗯。

>> 好的。所以，从现在开始，我们必须称呼您

康苏埃拉公主。

>> 呃，不。我要让我的朋友

叫我瓦莱丽。

>> 嘿，欢迎回来。

>> 我想你。哦，我也是。

>> 那么，有什么新内容？

>> 好吧，我不再是菲比·巴菲特了。

>> 太棒了。你改名字了？

>> 是的，我做到了。认识康苏埃拉公主

香蕉吊床。

>> 你在开玩笑吧？

>> 不。

>> 你真的这么做了？

>> 是的。

>> 你不能这样做。

>> 为什么？为什么？很有趣。这是不同的。没有

人有类似的名字。

>> 好吧。我要更改我的

名字。

>> 太棒了。好的。嘿，您打算

将其更改为什么？

>> 垃圾袋。

>> 迈克垃圾袋？

>> 不，不，迈克。不，只是垃圾袋。

名字废话，姓氏包。

>> 你不是认真的吧？

>> 是的，我是认真的。很有趣。

不同。没有人有像

这样的名字。

>> 嗯。嗯。嗯，那就太好了。如果你喜欢

它，我也喜欢它。

>> 我真的很喜欢它。我喜欢你的名字。我

爱康苏埃拉公主。

>> 我喜欢垃圾。

在你之后，香蕉吊床小姐。

>> 谢谢你，包先生。

>> 哦，嘿。你好吗？

>> 好。哦，丽塔是一位按摩顾客。

>> 噢，

>> 你为什么不介绍一下我呢？

>> 丽塔，这是我的丈夫。

>> 哦，是的。

>> 你为什么不告诉她我的名字？

>> 好的，我会的。这是嗯，这是我的

丈夫。嗯，垃圾袋。

垃圾袋。

>> 如果您需要一种简单的方法来记住它，

就想一袋垃圾。

>> 好的，对不起。

>> 是的，

>> 好的，很好。你已经表达了你的观点。你能

再次扮演迈克·哈尼根吗？

>> 前提是您是菲比·巴菲特。

>> 那么哈尼根自助餐怎么样？

>> 真的吗？

>> 是的。我是菲比·巴菲特·哈尼根。香蕉

吊床。

>> 你知道香蕉吊床

是什么吗？

>> 这是一个有趣的词。

>> 这是一个速度表。

>> 哦糟糕。

>> 好吧，现在只要记住我

教你的一切，你就会没事的。好的，

我们开始吧。准备好了，

准备好了。

>> 等等，这个座位真不舒服。

好吧，也许在我们开始之前，我们应该

再买一个。也许像

飞机座椅或豆袋椅。

>> 宝贝，你无法摆脱这个。好吧，

你必须学习如何骑自行车。

>> 为什么？为什么我必须学习？

>> 那么，万一发生紧急情况呢？

>> 什么样的紧急情况？好吧，

如果一个男人走过来，用枪指着你的头

说：“你骑这辆自行车

，否则我就开枪打死你。”

>> 好吧，我会按响铃来分散

他的注意力，然后我会用中国投掷的

的枪打掉。

星将他手上

>> 好吧，菲比，只要骑上

自行车，嘿，我会扶住你并

推你。好吧，

>> 你不会放手的。我们走吧。

>> 你发誓。

>> 我发誓。

>> 好的。

>> 来吧。

>> 好吧。开始了。

>> 好吧。

>> 好吧。

>> 好吧。感觉很好。

>> 好吧，

>> 好吧。尝试踩踏板。就是这样。

你做得很好。你做得很好。

是的。是的。是的。控制住。是的。

>>哦。哦。哦。号

>> 你得分。我只是觉得你

做得很好。

>> 震惊。震惊。

>> 这是一种合法的学习技巧。

哇。

>> 哦，你好骗子。

>> 听着，我真的很抱歉我放开了

自行车。

>> 我可能会被杀。我希望你

知道。

我知道。我知道。

但是我们可以再试一次吗？啊？我

的意思是，你太亲密了，菲比。

>> 好吧，我很乐意，但是

自行车被偷了，而警方

没有嫌疑人。

>> 菲比，

>> 什么？

>> 到底是什么？

好吧。你知道吗？如果您不打算

学习如何骑这辆自行车，

那么我很抱歉。我只是要

来收回它。

>> 什么？为什么？

>> 因为因为它是

，就好像您拥有这把吉他

，但从未弹过它。好的。这把

吉他想要被演奏并且这个

自行车想要被骑，如果你

不骑它，你就

扼杀了它的精神。

自行车

即将报废。

好吧，如果你足够关心的话，可以编出

一堆废话。好的，

>> 太棒了。伟大的。

你让自行车非常高兴。

>> 好的，罗斯。

>> 请不要死。

>> 好的。听着，我需要你参加今晚 18800 点的

排练晚宴。

>> 嗯嗯。好的。那是什么时间？

>> 你不知道军用时间？

>> 好吧，他们教这一点的那天我一定正在参加导弹

训练。

>> 只需减去 12。

>> 好的。因此 1,800 - 12 等于 1,788。

>> 6:00。

>> 好的。坚持，稍等。是的。盖勒，在这里。

>> 不，我说过必须在 4:00 之前到达。

再见。

天哪，制作冰

雕塑有多难？

>> 冰雕？听起来真的很花哨。

我告诉过你我只是想要一个简单的婚礼。

亲爱的，请将详细信息留给我。

现在，我想尽我所能，让这一天对您来说变得特别

。好的。我

认为竖琴手应该穿

白色。嗯，竖琴手。我的朋友 Marjorie

正在演奏钢鼓。

>> 哦，她退出了。

>> 她做到了？为什么？我创造了她。

钢鼓并不能真正表达优雅的

婚礼。 Marjgery 的

气味也没有压倒性的气味。嘿，西藏空闲时她会洗澡

。

>> 就是这样。我无法做出这个决定。

太难了。所以，我只是去

，把它完全交给

命运之神。

>> 神奇的八球。哦，你不可能

是认真的。你不能用玩具做出这个决定

。

>> 哦，这不是玩具。

>> 好吧，我不知道还能做什么。我

的意思是，我要么保留我的妻子，但失去一个#​​{49}最好的朋友，要么保留我的

...

朋友，并在30岁之前第二次

离婚。所以，如果任何人

有更好的建议，让我们

听听，因为我什么也没有。全部

对吗？别害羞。任何建议都可以

。

好的，那么。

开始吧。

魔术八球。我应该再也见不到

瑞秋了吗？

稍后再询问。

后来还不够好。

稍后再询问。

>> 到底是什么？这已破了。

坏了。

>> 什么也没有。这是我们去过的第 900 万枚戒指

商店，但我找不到

完美的戒指。丑陋的戒指。丑陋的戒指。丑陋的

戒指。

这是一个漂亮的选择。

好的。所以，也许你没有给她一枚

戒指。也许你做了一些

不同的事情。你知道，也许你给她买了

订婚手镯，你知道，或者

订婚头饰，或者哦，订婚

革命战争步枪。

>> 你知道，我很高兴选择你来

帮助我，

>> 嗯？

>> 你不能想象一下单膝跪下

并递给她这件华丽的

武器吗？

>> 是的，我会坚持使用戒指。

>> 嘿。

>> 嘿。你在这里做什么？好吧，我

对你所说的话想了很多，嗯

我意识到我可能有点

评判。

是的。哦，但是哦，

>> 现在菲比，记住，嘿，他们只是

履行他们的圣诞节

>> 命运。当然。是的。

>> 好的。

哎呀。那看起来不太

满足。

>> 哦，那是，呃，这是旧的

之一。他只是把它带到后面。

>> 你把旧的放在后面。

这真是太支持了。

>> 但我们必须为新鲜的

腾出空间。

>> 那么老家伙们会怎么样呢？

>> 好吧，他们进入削片机。

>> 嗯，我有一种感觉，

并不像听起来那么快乐。

嘿嘿嘿。

好的。呃，这是一件道格拉斯

毛皮。现在钱多了一点，但

你会得到更好的气味。

>> 看起来不错。我要买它。

>> 等等，等等，等等，等等，等等。不，不，

没有。你不想要那个。不，您可以

拥有这款炫酷的棕色。

>> 它快死了。

>> 好吧，但这就是你必须购买它的原因。

这样它就能完成它的圣诞节

命运。否则，他们会把

扔进削片机。告诉他们，

乔伊。

是的，呃，那些没有实现

圣诞节命运的树被扔进了

削片机中。

>> 我想我还要再看看

。

>> 偷看，你不能再这样做了。我在这里

赚取佣金。

>> 嘿伙计们，我是来挑选我的

圣诞树的。

>> 好吧，别再犹豫了。这是你的。

>> 这是我去年

年扔掉的那个吗？全部

正确。你知道吗？没关系。

每个人都想拥有一辆绿色的。

抱歉。对不起。我并不是故意让

如此情绪化。我想只是

假期很难过。哦，亲爱的。

是因为你妈妈在圣诞节前后去世了吗？

>> 哦，我什至没有想到这一点。

哦。

>> 呵呵。看到醉酒的圣诞老人尿湿了自己

真的让我的圣诞节充满了活力。

天啊。

>> 圣诞快乐。

>> 你们。

天哪，你是最棒的。

>> 这就像活死人之夜

圣诞树。

>> 你好。

是的，这就是她。

你在开玩笑吧。你开玩笑吧。哦，

谢谢你。我爱你。

>> 当然。每个人都爱孩子。

>> 我得到了这份工作。

>> 愿上帝保佑我们，大家。

>> 拿着扫帚停下来。我们不会制造

噪音。

我们赢了。

>> 我们做到了。

>> 赫克尔斯先生。

>> 这是怎么发生的？

>> 他一定是在扫地。他们在他手里发现了一把

扫帚。

>> 天哪，

>> 太糟糕了。

>> 我知道。我昨天在扫地。

可能是我吗？

>> 你永远不知道。

>> 永远不知道。

>> 好的。虽然很微弱，但我仍然可以

感觉到他在大楼里。

>> 走进光明吧，赫克尔先生。

>> 好的，菲比。

>> 抱歉，但有时他们需要帮助。

>> 我现在可以给你唱生日快乐歌吗？

你确定吗？

>> 哦，好吧。生日快乐。

>> 稍后见。

>> 嘿，Ra。有人拿走了你的鞋子。哦，

给我

>> 哦，这些是我的老鼠宝宝。

>> 是的，我们现在有了老鼠宝宝。

哦，你带老鼠来参加我的生日

派对。所以，这就是中风的感觉

。

>> 我必须带它们。我们杀了他们的

母亲。他们现在是我们的责任。

您知道，它们需要持续的照顾。

你应该知道这一点，雷切尔。你是一位

母亲。

>> 哦，

你是在把我女儿比作老鼠吗？

七只老鼠。

我想我们应该把它们带回家。我们

需要喂养它们。为什么？你要

离开我的队伍去照顾一箱

老鼠。好吧，

>> 很抱歉，Rachel，但我和你不一样。

好的。不是每个人都能负担得起帮助。

>> 我知道我想要什么。

>> 我们想要什么，亲爱的？

>> 不，不，你不想要这个。

>> 我想要你祖母的饼干

食谱。

>> 你是说巧克力饼干

食谱吗？

>> 嗯嗯。是的。你是指我的

祖母让我在她

临终前发誓我永远不会离开

我们家的那个人吗？

>> 临终者会说最疯狂的话。

我多年来一直想要它。我要去

为我的孩子们做饼干。

别

>>伤我的心。哦，好吧。好的。我

没有食谱，但是在这里。祝

您健康快乐。

>> 一块旧饼干。

>> 如果您没有

注册领取礼物，就会发生这种情况。

>> 看吧，我做了一批，我

把它冷冻了，这是唯一剩下的。

>> 我们不能接受这一点。为什么不呢？

>> 因为这很恶心。

>> 不，等等。我想我可以从这个cookie中找出

食谱。我做类似的事情

这一直在工作中。

>> 真的吗？

>> 是的。我想我能做到。

>> 哦，是的。

>> 我绝对尝到了肉豆蔻的味道。

>> 你知道吗？你不这么认为吗？

>> 好吧，这就是

专业人士和外行之间的区别。

>> 那和傲慢。

>> 嘿。

>> 嘿。航行怎么样？

>> 我不想谈论它。

>> 不，你至少可以为我保留一块

完整的饼干。

>> 不，不，不。

>> 女人都是卑鄙的。

>> 不敢相信。现在，我祖母的遗产

就是这些面包屑。

中唯一剩下的

祝您婚姻长久幸福。

这是

第22批。

也许这些尝起来像你的

祖母的。这有一点

橙皮，但没有肉豆蔻。

>> 让我们尝试一下。

>> 好的。嗯，自从我九年级以来，我就没有做过这么多

饼干了。

>> 那是做什么用的？就像烘焙义卖一样？

>> 不，只是周五晚上。

>> 这些都非常好。

>> 是的，但不如第 17 批。

>> 那是哪一个？

>> 在你差点

呕吐之后我们就吃的那些。

哦，是的。第17批不错。我不

喜欢第 16 批。

我很好。

>> 好的批次还有更多吗？

因为我们可以解决这些问题。

是的。

>> 是的。嗯，是的。我认为第 17 批还剩一个

。呃，

第 16 批。16 人，让开

。这实际上会让我奶奶

非常高兴知道我们正在尝试

找出她的食谱。我敢打赌她现在

抬头看着我们微笑。

>> 抬头。

>> 哦，是的。不，她对我真的很好，

，但她肯定是在地狱里。

好吧，我已经尝试了一切。我放弃。

我想我不会成为

制作世界上最好的巧克力片

饼干的妈妈。我确实用西兰花擦做了最好的鸭肉

。

孩子们喜欢这个，对吧？

哦，

>> 菲布，来吧。没有亲戚

有食谱吗？

你妹妹呢？

>> 哦，不，不，不。我向自己

承诺，下次我与乌苏拉

交谈时，是在我的尸体旁。

而这要到 2032 年 10 月

15 日才会发生。

>> 那是你死去的日子。看？

该死的。

天我有沙狐球。

这就是你的想法。

>> 嗯，我的意思是，你的

祖母的朋友呢？他们不会有

食谱吗？

>> 嗯，你知道，我可能在法国有亲戚

他们会知道。我的祖母

说她从她的

祖母雀巢图洛那里得到了食谱。

>> 她叫什么名字？

>> 雀巢图卢萨。

雀巢收费站。

你们美国人总是屠杀法语

语言。

>> Phoei，这是菜谱吗？

>> 是的。

>> 哦，

我不敢相信我刚刚花了

过去两天试图找出

食谱，而它一直是我的橱柜

。

>> 我知道。你看，就像这样的东西，

这就是你烧毁它的原因。

>> 曾经有一段时间，

世界上最聪明的人相信地球

是平的。直到50年前

，你们都认为原子是

最小的东西，直到你把它打开

，然后这就像一堆垃圾

出来了？

现在，你是在告诉我，你是如此

令人难以置信的傲慢，以至于你无法

承认在这件事上

可能性是错的吗？

你有极小的

可能有

微小的

微小的

可能性

不敢相信你屈服了。

>> 什么？

>> 你刚刚放弃了你的整个信仰

系统。

>> 我的意思是，之前我不同意

你，但至少我尊重你。但是

>> 不，明天你打算如何去

工作？

>> 如何面对其他

科学家？你打算如何

面对自己？

很有趣。那么，谁饿了？

>> 哦，嘿，你们。

>> 哦，嘿。

>>嗨。

>> 嘿，听着。让我问你。你

相信灵魂伴侣吗？

>> 哦，是的，我愿意。我愿意。我相信

世界上有一个完美的人

适合每个人。你知道如何找到

它们吗？你停止寻找他们。这就是

为什么我不再寻找 Russell

Crow。

>> 他会找到我的。

>> 嗯嗯。你呢？

>> 不。我的意思是，我相信某些

人更适合彼此，

我相信坠入爱河，但

灵魂伴侣，我认为他们不存在。

>> 好的，很好。

>> 为什么？

>> 嗯，昨晚我遇到了莫妮卡的。

>> 什么？

>> 是的。我和这个家伙约会了，

我向上帝发誓，他是她的另一半。

>> 来吧，别疯了。你不认为

有人比我更适合

莫妮卡，是吗？

>> 但他是什么样的人？

>> 嗯，他很高。

>> 嗯嗯。

>> 他有一头棕色的头发。

>> 当然。当然。

>> 一个高个子，头发和我相似。

哦，高贵的宇宙。

>> 他与食物打交道。哦，当然。老了，

>> 显然。他是英国人。

>> 我只是想问。

>> 是的。

>> 他是如此专注、成熟和

自信。哦，太遗憾了他们从来没有

有机会见面。

>> 幸运的是，她安顿下来的那个人听不到你在说什么。

。

>> 哦，非常抱歉。嗯，也许我

错了。我但是你知道吗？我要再次和他

出去。我会了解更多

。

>> 你相信这个人注定会

和别人在一起，而你仍然会

去和他约会？

>> 好吧，他可能不是我的灵魂伴侣，但

女孩们必须吃饭。

>>哦。噢，

>>嗨。

>>嗨。

>> 嗯，钱德勒，莫妮卡，我是黎明。

>> 哦，你好。

>> 你好。我也很高兴见到你。

你怎么样？

>> 高，伙计。

>> 那么，你们最近在做什么？

>> 好吧，我们刚刚在

Adriatica 吃了一顿糟糕的午餐。那个地方晒干的

西红柿是怎么回事？

>> 我知道。这是什么，1985年？

>> 这正是我所说的，菲比。

这不是很奇怪吗？

>> 并非如此。

>> 晒干的西红柿有什么问题吗？

>> 烤鸡肉披萨？

>> 不。

那么，Dom，您还喜欢

哪些餐厅？

>> 嗯，Octavio 27 和 7。哦，那是

很棒的小地方，Alessandro。

>> 天哪，那是我的餐厅。我是那里的

厨师。

>> 你在开玩笑吧。你的食物

太棒了。哇。我真的很想和

您谈谈您的菜单。我先

去喝点咖啡。嗯，有人想要

什么东西吗？

>> 不，我想要一杯拿铁。你知道吗？如果

你要谈论我，我会

和你一起去。

>> 你在做什么？

>> 什么也没有。我向上帝发誓，我不知道

你们会在这里。好消息是

你甚至不相信

灵魂伴侣。所以

>> 我相信有一个高大、英俊的陌生人

对我的妻子产生了好感。

>> 他们只是在说话。你知道吗？

仅仅因为我认为他们是灵魂伴侣

并不意味着会发生任何事情。

>> 也许干得不错。

>> 是的。

>> 是的。我害怕我爱他。

>> 别担心，我们会为您找到其他人

。

>> 我的生活过得很顺利，但我环顾

，发现很多人

在 30 岁的时候就已经实现了许多目标

。是的，但是你

不应该将自己与我进行比较。

>> 就这样。

>> 我做到了。嘻哈音乐上的一英里。

就是这样。这就是我 30 岁之前

想做的一切。除了我想

和我姐姐和好。

>> 哦，好吧。但是，是的。

>> 女孩们，这东西是天赐之物，

如果你明白我的意思的话。

>> 嘿，我在这里。

>>哦。我的天啊。

>> 你喜欢吗？

>> 天哪。

>> 这是我的新药剂师桌。

>> Ros Stevie 随时会在

秒到达。她看不到这一点。

>> 哦，为什么不呢？她会喜欢的。这是

真实的东西。我有一个陶器谷仓。

>> 我知道你做到了。我买了同款。

如果她看到您的桌子，她就会

知道我对她撒了谎。我告诉她

我们的不是原创的。

>> 你为什么这么做？

>> 因为她讨厌陶器谷仓。

>> 她讨厌陶器谷仓。

>> 我知道。我知道。她说这都是

批量生产的。没有什么是真实的。

每个人最终都会拥有相同的东西。

>> 那么，来吧。她随时会在

秒到达这里。我们可以用一些东西来掩盖这个

吗？

>> 什么？不，不，我不会向菲比隐瞒

。哦，虽然我确实得到了一些

很棒的陶器谷仓床单。

>> 哦，我忘了他们做了床单。

>> 是的。

>> 我仍然不敢相信她讨厌陶器

谷仓。

>> 罗斯，克服它。她

并不讨厌你。

>> 是的，但是 Pottery Barn，

>> 你知道，当我认为她只是

很奇怪，你知道吗？这是因为她是

双胞胎。双胞胎很奇怪。

>> 罗斯，她并不奇怪。她只是喜欢

她的东西是独一无二的。

>> 你知道什么不是独一无二的吗？

双胞胎。

>> 嘿。

>> 嘿。

>> 哦，菲来了。好的。那么，让我们打开

所有的灯，然后观看

电影。好的。嘿。哦，很酷的床单。

>> 哦，你喜欢吗？你想知道

我从哪里得到的吗？

>> 当然。他们在跳蚤市场

得到了它。

您在跳蚤市场购买了床单。

>> 罗斯，加油。你得稍微放松

的钱包。

>> 嘿宝贝们，请不要把

脚放在我的新

>> 旧床单上好吗？

我的药剂师桌。

什么？不。

>> 罗斯，你从哪里得到这个？

>> 我在陶器谷仓得到的。好的。

>> 天哪。宝贝，陶器谷仓撕掉了我们古董的设计

。

>> 哇。

>> 天啊。好吧，如果他们抢走了

我们的桌子，我们的桌子一定比 50 美元中的 1 美元值钱得多

。

>> 嗯，这闻起来根本不像

鸦片。

>> 当然不是。闻起来像酒。

你洒了。顺便说一句，谢谢你

弄坏了我的床单。

>> 哦，罗斯，冷静点。我会给你

80 美分。

那么，Glattus，向你的新家

问好。

>> 哦天哪

哇。噢，她又大又漂亮。

哦，莫妮卡，你要在哪里

如此自豪地展示格拉图斯哦？

您还没有真正确定地点

。

>> 嗯，嘿，在电视上方怎么样？

这样，当您走进门时，第一个看到的就是

。

是的。是的。您可以去掉那张

法国海报。我喜欢那张海报。

确实没有任何结果

。

>> 或者也许你的卧室

里有一个适合她的地方。哦，

你的床上面没有任何东西。你还在吗？

>> 嘿，听着。你知道吗，当你

穿着裤子并且身体前倾时，我

检查你的内衣？

>> 是的。

>> 好吧，当杰克这样做时，我看到他

穿着女士内衣。

>> 我知道。他们是我的。

>> 哦，

不。不，等等。这很奇怪。

>> 不，不是。我们只是闲逛

，我鼓励他试穿。

>> 这很奇怪。

>> 我现在穿着他的内裤。有点热

。

>> 我也这么认为。还有那个小翻盖，

非常适合固定我的口红。

>> 是的，我不知道这一点。

>> 你知道，杰克说女性的

内衣实际上更舒适

，而且他喜欢丝绸贴在皮肤上的感觉

。

>> 是的。好吧，接下来你就会知道，他会

告诉你，你的高跟鞋

对他的姿势有好处。

杰克没有什么问题，好吗？

他是个凡人。我比你想得更多

。

>> 哦，是的，穿着粉色鞋带的他看起来就像一个真正的伐木工人

。

>> 我只是说，只有一个男人

完全拥有自己的男子气概

，才能穿着女性内衣到处走动。

我认为你永远做不到。

>> 嘿，我对自己的男子气概很自信。

>> 好吧，无论如何。

>> 你已经看过我的一大堆色情片了，

对吧？

是的。

嘿，小谎。

>> 嘿，

>> 看看。

>> 啊？

>> 我到底有多像个男人？

>> 哇，好极了。很有男子气概，而且有点

...

你知道，我开始明白杰克

在说什么了。

>> 丝绸的手感非常好。

>> 是的。而且事情并没有像我想象的那样

被摧毁。

>> 太棒了，乔。

>> 是的。与男士内衣相比，您有更多的选择

。

比基尼、法式剪裁、丁字裤和

面料。你有棉质、丝绸、蕾丝，还有

你知道吗？我一直想知道

关于内裤锄头的事。你知道它们

从你的脚趾开始，然后一直

一直到

>> 我应该把它们脱下来，不是吗？

>> 我认为

>> 感觉更好很重要。

>> 是的。

听着，呃，并不是说我对

我的男子气概或任何事情没有安全感，你知道，但是，呃

我想我需要像现在这样和一个女人

交往。

>> 是的，我明白了。

>> 是的。好的。

>> 嘿。你好。

>>嗨。

>> 你知道，你看起来很眼熟。我在某个地方认识

你吗？

>> 我不这么认为。

>> 也许是因为我在电视上。

>> 我是《Days of Our Lives》的演员。

>> 哇。

>> 真的吗？

>> 嗯。

>> 450，请。哦，

>> 让我得到这个。

这些是给你的。

>> 系好我的鞋带。所以，你继续吧。我会

赶上的。好的。好的。

>> 来吧。让我们开始跑步吧。我们走吧。

你们，我告诉你们，当她

跑步时，她看起来就像

青蛙克米特和价值 600 万美元的男人的混合体。

>> 莫妮卡非常迷恋他，以至于她

每天晚上睡觉前都会亲吻他的海报

。

>> 哦，我以前也这么做过。

>> 您是否也有他的专辑《It's Not

Easy Being Green》。

>> 哦，

所以菲比看起来很奇怪，是吧？

是的。是的。你知道吗？而且我

知道她会想再次竞选。我

只是不知道如何摆脱

。我是说，我和她住在一起。

>> 你为什么不直接对她说呢？

告诉她真相。

>> 你是对的。

>> 你是对的。我应该告诉她

真相。

>> 嘿。

>> 嘿。

>> 嘿，巴布。莫妮卡绊倒了我。我

认为我再也无法跑步了。曾经。

>> 为什么？你为什么要这么做？

>> 我不知道。

>> 瑞秋，很抱歉我弄伤了你的

脚踝。踝。我们拭目以待。

>> 哦，是的。嗯嗯。这就是我。我今天早上看到你

抓起跑鞋

溜出去。你撒了谎，这样你就可以自己跑

。

>> 不，不，菲比。不，我是不，你知道

什么吗？我实际上只是在检查

，看看我是否可以运行，我可以。

>> 拜托，雷切尔。我不是白痴。

>> 不，等等，菲比。

嘿，菲。我可以和你聊

秒吗？当然。好的。嗯，我

菲比，听着，我只是想说

我很抱歉。好的。我对这种情况的处理非常糟糕

，而且我不应该对你撒谎

。

>> 那么，你应该做什么？

>> 好吧，我应该告诉你

真相。

>> 嗯。这是

好吧，你知道，我

不想和你一起跑步的原因是

，因为嗯，你知道，

你跑步的方式有点

所以，

>>好吧，这很尴尬。人们

看着我们，就像我们疯了一样。

>> 你为什么关心？因为他们是人。

但是您不认识的人将

再也见不到。

>> 是的，但他们仍然是拥有

眼睛的人。

嗯，

跑在小姐旁边我并不感到尴尬。

>> 但是哦，好吧。不，不，我明白为什么

和我一起跑步会让

你感到尴尬。是的。好的。你很紧张。

>> 好吧，但我没能力

听着，我并不紧张，伙计。

没关系，雷切尔。我不是在评判

你。这就是你。我，你知道，我

更加怪异。我就像小时候

那样跑步，因为这是唯一

有趣的方式，你知道吗？我的意思是，

你难道没有跑得太快，以为你的

条腿会掉下来吗？你知道，

就像当你跑向

秋千或逃离

撒旦、

邻居的狗时。

非常抱歉。你说得对。这感觉

太棒了。

>> 看吧，你不在乎人们是否

盯着你看。这只是第二次，因为然后

你就走了。

>> 天哪，我的意思是，这太棒了。我感觉如此

自由且优雅。

嘿，小心那匹马。

[英语]

Okay. So, when you're done with your

tea, I'll look at the leaves and tell

you your fortune.

>> I didn't know you read tea leaves.

>> Oh, yeah. I've done it for years. I

actually stopped because I was so

accurate, you know, and and you know,

one of the great joys of life is it's

its wondrous unpredictability, you know,

and also tea tends to give me the trots.

>> Okay, I'm done. Read mine.

>> Okay. Ooh, I see a ladder,

which can mean either a promotion or a

violent death.

I I'm the head chef. I I can't get

promoted.

>> Mhm. Mhm. Who's next?

>> Okay, I'm done. Do mine.

>> Okay. Um Oh, okay. I see a circle. Oh.

>> Oh. which can either mean you're having

a baby or you're going to make a

scientific discovery.

>> Well, I have been spending a lot of time

in the lab.

>> What does yours say, peeps?

>> Um, wow. All right.

Wow. Yay.

Oh, I'm going to meet a guy and really

soon. And he's going to be the man of my

dreams.

Probably not the guy I had a dream about

last night.

Oh, wait a second, you guys.

For the last couple of weeks, I've been

seeing that guy everywhere I go. We take

the same bus. We go to the same

bookstore, same dry cleaner. Maybe he's

the tea guy.

>> Did you see that? He totally checked you

out and he is so cute.

>> Mine is a picture of the village people.

What does that mean?

Oh, hello.

>> Oh, it's you. I see you everywhere.

>> I'm Jim. Jim Nelson.

>> Oh, Jim. Jim Nelson. I'm Phoebe Phoebe

Buffet.

>> Certainly have been seeing a lot of each

other lately.

>> We have. Maybe we'll be seeing each

other at dinner tomorrow night. Say

around 8:00.

>> Well, maybe we will.

Oh,

isn't it funny how we kept running into

each other? It's as if someone really

wants us to be together.

>> Someone does. Me.

>> O, witty banter. Well done.

>> Good.

>> So, tell me a little bit about yourself.

>> Oh, okay. Well, I'm a masseuse and I

used to work at this place.

>> Do you like to party?

>> I I I like I like parties.

>> You're wild, aren't you?

Yeah, I guess a little.

>> That ain't no thing. I'm wild, too.

>> So, um, anyway,

I I I've lived in New York somewhat

wildly, I guess, for um well, since I

was 14.

>> I'm sorry I'm staring.

>> It's just that you have the most

beautiful eyes.

>> Oh, stop it. and your breasts.

>> Okay,

look, you're coming on a little strong,

but I'm going to give you the benefit of

the doubt because seems the universe

really wants us to be together. So, why

don't we just start over, okay? And you

can just tell me about yourself.

>> All right.

>> Okay.

>> I write erotic novels for children.

What?

>> They're wildly unpopular.

>> My god.

>> Oh, also you might be interested to know

that I have a PhD.

>> Wow, you do?

>> Yep. Uh, pretty huge.

>> I'm here ready to play.

>> Okay.

>> I brought a bunch of stuff for the

house. So, check it out.

>> What's this?

>> That's a dog. Every house should have a

dog.

Not one that can pee on the roof.

>> Maybe it's so big because the house was

built on radioactive waste.

>> And is this in case the house sneezes?

>> No. No. That's the ghost for the attic.

>> I don't want a ghost.

>> Well, nobody wants a ghost.

But you've got one because the house is

sitting on an ancient Indian burial

ground.

>> Wait a minute. The house was built on

radioactive waste and an ancient Indian

burial ground.

That would never happen.

>> What can I do for you, my dear?

>> Oh, okay. I don't know how to say this,

but um I think when your wife's spirit

left her body, it um kind of stuck

around in me.

You're saying my wife is in you?

>> Yeah. Okay. You don't have to believe

me, but um can you think of any

unfinished business she might have had?

Like any reason she'd be hanging around?

>> Well, I don't know what to tell you,

dear. The only thing I could think of is

that she always used to say that before

she died, she wanted to see everything.

>> Everything?

>> Everything.

>> Whoa, that's a lot of stuff.

>> Oh, wait. I I I remember she also said

she wanted to sleep with me one last

time.

>> I'm sorry. There's laughing in my head.

>> Worth a shot, huh?

>> Hi.

>> Hi.

>> Hey.

>> Oh, what's the matter?

>> Well,

you know that psychic I see?

>> Yeah. Well, she told me that I'm going

to die this week, so I'm kind of bummed

about that.

>> What?

>> Yeah. And I know you guys don't know a

lot about psychic readings, but that one

is pretty much the worst one you can

get.

>> That's crazy.

>> I can't believe she would say that to

you.

>> Yeah, honey. You don't believe her, do

you? I don't. She, you know, said that

I'd have triplets, but she also said one

of them would be black.

>> Just out of curiosity, did she tell you

how you're going to go? No, cuz she

didn't tell me I was going to die till

the very end of the session. And I was

not going to waste a whole other hour

there. I mean, I've only got a week

left, you know? I've really got to start

living now.

>> Hey. Hey, Feeps. You're still alive.

>> How are you feeling? Oh, it's so

exhausting waiting for death.

Oh, by the way, do you think you

>> thieves? What are you doing?

>> I was preparing you for my dead. Didn't

you think I was dead? Did that not come

off?

>> Oh, yeah. Scared the hell out of me. I

thought we'd lost you forever.

Babe, do you want to lie down?

>> Yeah. Thanks. And listen, can you do me

a favor? Could you just um wake me up in

a couple hours? You know, if you can.

Hey. Hey. Listen to this.

My reading was wrong. I'm not going to

die.

>> Really? How do you know?

>> Because my psychic is dead.

She must have read the cards wrong.

>> Oh, I'm sorry. Ah, better her than me.

>> Hey, let's bake cookies.

>> You know my friend Abby who shaves her

head?

She says that if you want to break the

bad boyfriend cycle, you can do like a

cleansing ritual.

>> Fibs, this woman is voluntarily bold.

>> Yeah.

So, we can do it tomorrow night, you

guys. It's Valentine's Day. It's

perfect. Okay. Well, what kind of

ritual? Okay. We can um we can burn the

stuff they gave us

>> or

or or

>> or we can chant and dance around naked,

you know, with sticks.

>> Burning's good.

>> Burning's good. Yeah, I didn't burn.

Okay, so now we need um sage branches

and the sacramental wine.

>> All I had is is oregano and a fresca.

>> Um

>> that's okay.

>> Okay.

Okay.

All right. Now, we need the semen of a

righteous man.

Okay, Febs. You know what? If we had

that, we wouldn't be doing the ritual in

the first place.

We just start throwing things in. Um,

yeah. Okay. Oh, okay. Um,

okay. Barry's letters.

Adam Ritter's boxer shorts.

>> And I have the receipt for my dinner

with Noulu.

>> And look, there's a picture of Scotty

Jared naked.

>> Oh, let me see.

>> Hey, he's wearing a sweater.

>> No.

>> E.

OKAY. And here we have the last of

Paulo's graa.

>> Wait, wait, Rachel, ISN'T THAT ALMOST

PURE?

OH MY GOD. NO. SHOOT, KITTY. NO. NO. NO.

NO. SHOOT. Come on. You. Come on. Crazy.

Oh my god.

>> What? Nothing. Nothing.

>> What? What's wrong?

>> I just

I just have this really strong feeling

that this cat is my mother.

You mean the mom you met in Monttok? She

was a cat.

>> No, no, no. She was a human lady. This

is the spirit of my mom, Lily. The one

that killed herself.

>> Are you sure she's in the cat or have

you been taking your grandma's glaucoma

medicine again?

>> No, Dr. Skeptismo.

I'm sure. First of all, okay, there's

the feeling.

Okay. And for another, how about the

fact that she went into my guitar case,

which is lined with orange felt.

My mother's favorite fish was orange

ruffy.

Cats like fish.

Hi, Mommy.

Oh, I haven't seen this smile in 17

years.

Dude, Phoe's mom's got a huge pill.

>> Let it go.

>> No, thieves.

>> Who else wants one of my special

homemade brownies?

>> I will have one.

>> Yeah, I'm not going to have one of

those.

>> No, no, it's just my tooth.

>> I'll have one.

>> So, what's the matter? You need a

dentist? I've got a good one.

>> Thanks. I have a good one, too. I just I

I I can't see him. See, that is the

problem with invisible dentists.

>> Why? Why can't you go to them?

>> Because

every time I go to the dentist, somebody

dies.

>> That is so weird. Because every time I

go to the dentist, I look down the

hygienist blouse.

>> Phoebe, what? Um

what?

>> Yeah. Yeah. First, it was my aunt Mary.

And then there was um John, my mailman.

And then my my cowboy friend, Albino

Bob.

>> And all of these people actually died.

>> Yes. While I was in the chair. That's

why I take such good care of my teeth

now. You know, it's not about oral

hygiene. I floss to save lives.

>> Fees. Come on. You didn't kill anybody.

These people just happened to die when

you went to the dentist. It's It's just

a coincidence.

>> Well, tell that to them. Oh, you can't.

They're dead.

>> There's nothing to tell. It's just some

guy I work with.

>> Come on. You're going out with the guy.

There's got to be something wrong with

him.

>> So, does he have a hump? A hump? And a

hairpiece?

>> Wait, does he eat chalk?

>> Just cuz I don't want her to go through

what I went through with Carl. Um,

>> okay, everybody relax. This is not even

a date. It's just two people going out

to dinner and not having sex.

>> Sounds like a date to me.

Carol moved her stuff out today.

>> Let me get you some coffee.

>> Thanks.

>> No. Oh, no. No. Don't stop cleansing my

aura.

>> Don't just leave my aura alone. Okay.

>> I'll be fine. All right. Really,

everyone. I hope she'll be very happy.

>> No, you don't.

>> No, I don't. To hell with her. She left

me.

>> Bye-bye.

I just got us reservations at Michelle's

and tickets to the music man to

celebrate our first holiday season as a

betrothed couple.

>> Betrod

couple.

>> Hey.

>> Hey.

>> Oh,

babes

skull.

>> Oh yeah, IT'S MY MOM'S.

>> OH MY GOD.

>> NO, NO, NO. It's not It's not my mom. It

belonged to my mom.

>> Yeah. Though she used to put it out

every Christmas to remind us that even

though it's Christmas, people still die

>> and you can put candy in it.

>> Hey.

>> Hey. Hey. Licorice.

>> Sure.

>> Hey. I just found out I get Ben for the

holidays this year.

>> Oh, that's great.

>> Are you going to dress up as Santa?

>> Nope. I mean, I know Susan does every

year, but I think I want to take this

year to teach him all about Hanukkah.

>> And maybe I could teach Ben about the

Christmas skull and how people die.

>> You may need to use this year to teach

Ben about Phoebe.

>> This place is so depressing. If I had to

work here, I'd kill myself.

>> You obviously haven't.

>> How can I help you? Um, I need to change

my name, please. See, I need to change

it because I'm I'm hiding from the law.

>> You're fun.

>> Need to fill out this form.

>> Okay. Well, I just So, I know. I don't

know how it works exactly. See, my name

is um Buffet and my husband's name is

Hanigan. So, is it supposed to be Buffet

Hanigan or Hanigan Buffet?

>> It can be anything you want.

>> Well, not anything.

>> Yeah, anything.

>> Oh, this could take a while.

Get out of my line.

>> Okay.

>> Hey. Hey, thieves. Oh, not anymore. I

changed it today.

>> Oh, I'm sorry, Mrs. Hanigan.

>> Wrong again.

Apparently, you can change it to

anything you want. So, I thought, all

right, here's an opportunity to be

creative. So, meet Princess Consuela

Banana Hammock.

That's what we were going to name the

baby.

>> Phoei.

>> Uh, Princess Consuela.

>> You seriously changed your name to that?

>> Uhhuh.

>> Okay. So, from now on, we have to call

you Princess Consuela.

>> Uh, no. I I'm going to have my friends

call me Valerie.

>> Hey, welcome back.

>> I missed you. Oh, me too.

>> So, what's new?

>> Well, I'm no longer Phoebe Buffet.

>> That's great. You changed your name?

>> Yes, I did. Meet Princess Consuela

Banana Hammock.

>> You're kidding, right?

>> Nope.

>> You really did that?

>> Yep.

>> You can't do that.

>> Why? Why? It's fun. It's different. No

one else has a name like it.

>> All right, then. I'm going to change my

name.

>> Great. Okay. Hey, what are you going to

change it to?

>> Crap bag.

>> Mike crap bag?

>> No. No, Mike. No, just just crap bag.

First name crap, last name bag.

>> You're not serious, right?

>> Yeah, I'm serious. It's fun. It's

different. No one else has a name like

that.

>> Mhm. Mhm. Well, then great. If you love

it, I love it.

>> I do love it. And I love your name. I

love Princess Consuela.

>> And I love crap.

After you, Miss Banana Hammock.

>> Thank you, Mr. Bag.

>> Oh, hey. How are you?

>> Good. Oh, Rita's a massage client.

>> Oh,

>> why don't you introduce me?

>> Rita, this is my husband.

>> Oh, yeah.

>> Why don't you tell her my name?

>> Okay, I will. This is um this is my

husband. Um crap bag.

crap bag.

>> If you need an easy way to remember it,

just think of a bag of crap.

>> Okay, excuse me.

>> Yeah,

>> okay, fine. You made your point. Can you

please just be Mike Hanigan again?

>> Only if you'll be Phoebe Buffet.

>> How about um how about Buffet Hanigan?

>> Really?

>> Yeah. I'm Phoebe Buffet Hanigan. Banana

Hammock.

>> Do you even know what a banana hammock

is?

>> It's a funny word.

>> It's a speedo.

>> Oh crap.

>> Okay, now just remember everything I

taught you and you'll be fine. Okay,

here we go. Ready,

set.

>> Wait, this seat is really uncomfortable.

Okay, maybe before we start, we should

just get another one. Perhaps like an

airplane seat or a bean bag chair.

>> Baby, you can't get out of this. Okay,

you have to learn how to ride a bike.

>> Why? Why do I have to learn?

>> Well, in in case of an emergency?

>> What kind of emergency? Well, let what

if a man comes along and puts a gun to

your head and says, "You ride this bike

or I'll I'll shoot you."

>> Okay, I would ring the bell to distract

him and then I would knock the gun out

of his hand with a Chinese throwing

star.

>> Okay, Phoebe, just just get get on the

bike and hey, I'll hold you up and and

push you. Okay,

>> you won't let go. Let's go.

>> You swear.

>> I swear.

>> Okay.

>> Come on.

>> All right. Here we go.

>> All right.

>> All right.

>> All right. Feel good.

>> Well,

>> all right. Try pedaling. That's it.

You're doing great. You're doing great.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Take control. Yes.

>> Oh. Oh. Oh. No.

>> You score. I I just thought you were

doing so well.

>> Shocked. Shocked.

>> It's a legitimate learning technique.

Wow.

>> Oh, hello liar.

>> Look, I I'm I'm really sorry I let go of

the bike.

>> I could have been killed. I hope you

know.

I know. I know.

But can we please try it again? Huh? I

mean, you were so close, Phoebe.

>> Well, I would love to, but

the bike got stolen and the police have

no suspects.

>> Phoebe,

>> what?

>> What the hell?

All right. You know what? If you are not

going to learn how to ride this bike,

then I'm sorry. I'm just going to have

to take it back.

>> What? Why?

>> Because because it's it's

it would be like you having this guitar

and and never playing it. Okay. This

guitar wants to be played and and this

bike wants to be ridden and and if you

don't ride it, you're you

killing its spirit.

The bike

is dying.

All right, if you care enough to make up

that load of crap. Okay,

>> great. Great.

You're making the bike very happy.

>> Okay, Ross.

>> Please don't die.

>> All right. Look, I need you at the

rehearsal dinner tonight at 18800 hours.

>> Uh-huh. Okay. What time is that?

>> You don't know military time?

>> Well, I must have been in missile

training the day they taught that.

>> Just subtract 12.

>> Okay. So 1,800 - 12 is 1,788.

>> 6:00.

>> Okay. Hold on. Yeah. Geller, here.

>> No, I said it has to be there by 4:00.

Goodbye.

God, how hard is it to make an ice

sculpture?

>> Ice sculpture? That sounds really fancy.

I told you I just want a simple wedding.

Please, honey, leave the details to me.

Now, I want to make this day as special

for you as I can now. Okay. I was

thinking that the harpist should wear

white. Well, harpist. My friend Marjorie

is playing the steel drums.

>> Oh, she backed out.

>> She did? Why? I made her.

Steel drums don't really say elegant

wedding. Nor does Marjgery's

overwhelming scent. Hey, she will shower

when Tibet is free.

>> That's it. I cannot make this decision.

It is too difficult. So, I am just going

to leave it entirely up to the gods of

fate.

>> A magic eightball. Oh, you can't be

serious. You can't make this decision

with a toy.

>> Oh, it's not a toy.

>> Well, I don't know what else to do. I

mean, I either keep my wife and lose one

of my my best friends or I keep my

friend and get divorced for the second

time before I'm 30. So, so if anyone

else has has a better suggestion, let's

hear it because I I got nothing. All

right? Don't be shy. Any suggestion will

do.

Okay, then.

Here we go.

Magic eightball. Should I never see

Rachel again?

Ask again later.

Later is not good enough.

Ask again later.

>> What the hell? This is broken. It is

broken.

>> Nothing. This is the 9 millionth ring

store we've been to and I can't find the

perfect ring. Ugly ring. Ugly ring. Ugly

ring.

It's a beautiful selection.

Okay. So, maybe you don't get her a

ring. Maybe you maybe you do something

different. You know, maybe you get her

an engagement bracelet, you know, or an

engagement tiara or oh, an engagement

revolutionary war musket.

>> You know, I'm so glad I picked you to

help me with this,

>> huh?

>> Can't you just imagine getting down on

one knee and handing her this gorgeous

piece of weaponry?

>> Yeah, I'm going to stick with the ring.

>> Hey.

>> Hey. What are you doing here? Well, I I

thought a lot about what you said and um

I realized all maybe I was a little

judgmental.

Yeah. Oh, but Oh,

>> now Phoebe, remember, hey, they're just

fulfilling their Christmas

>> destiny. Sure. Yes.

>> Okay.

Yikes. That one doesn't look very

fulfilled.

>> Oh, that's uh that's one of the old

ones. He's just taking it to the back.

>> You keep the old ones in the back.

That is so aegist.

>> But we have to make room for the fresh

ones.

>> So what happens to the old guys?

>> Well, they go into the chipper.

>> Well, I have a feeling that's not as

happy as it sounds.

Hey, hey, hey.

Okay. And uh this one here is a Douglas

fur. Now it's a little more money, but

you get a nicer smell.

>> Looks good. I'll take it.

>> Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. No, no,

no. You don't want that one. No, you can

have this cool brown one.

>> It It's almost dead.

>> Okay, but that's why you have to buy it.

So that it can fulfill its Christmas

destiny. Otherwise, they're going to

throw it into the chipper. Tell them,

Joey.

Yeah, the uh trees that don't fulfill

their Christmas destiny are thrown in

the chipper.

>> I I think I'm going to look around a

little bit more.

>> Peeps, you got to stop doing this. I'm

working on commission here.

>> Hey guys, I'm here to pick out my

Christmas tree.

>> Well, look no further. This one's yours.

>> Is this the one that I threw out last

year? All

right. You know what? Never mind.

EVERYBODY WANTS TO HAVE A GREEN ONE.

SORRY. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get

so emotional. I guess it's just the

holidays are just hard. Oh, honey. Is

that cuz your mom died around Christmas?

>> Oh, I wasn't even thinking about that.

Oh.

>> Huh. Seeing that drunk Santa wet himself

really perked up my Christmas.

Oh my god.

>> Merry Christmas.

>> You guys.

Oh god, you're the best.

>> It's like Night of the Living Dead

Christmas tree.

>> Hello.

Yeah, this is she.

You're kidding. You're kidding. Oh,

thank you. I love you.

>> Sure. Everybody loves a kid.

>> I got the job.

>> God bless us, everyone.

>> Stop with the broom. We're not making

noise.

We won.

>> We did it.

>> Mr. Heckles.

>> How did this happen?

>> He must have been sweeping. They found a

broom in his hand.

>> Gosh,

>> that's terrible.

>> I know. I was sweeping yesterday. Could

have been me.

>> You never know.

>> Never know.

>> Okay. It's very faint, but I can still

sense him in the building.

>> Go into the light, Mr. Heckle.

>> Okay, Phoebe.

>> I'm sorry, but sometimes they need help.

>> Can I sing happy birthday to you now?

You sure?

>> Oh, all right. Happy birthday.

>> See you later.

>> Hey, Ra. Somebody got your shoes. Oh,

give me

>> Oh, these are my rat babies.

>> Yeah, we have rat babies now.

Oh, you brought rats to my birthday

party. So, this is what a stroke feels

like.

>> I had to bring them. We killed their

mother. They're our responsibility now.

You know, they require constant care.

You should know that, Rachel. You're a

mother.

>> Oh,

are you comparing my daughter to a rat?

No. Seven rats.

I think we should take them home. We

need to feed them. Why? You're going to

leave my party to take care of a box of

rats. Well,

>> I'm sorry, Rachel, but I'm not like you.

Okay. Not everyone can afford help.

>> I know what I want.

>> What we want, honey?

>> No. No. You don't want this.

>> I want to have your grandmother's cookie

recipe.

>> You mean the chocolate chip cookie

recipe?

>> Uh-huh. Yeah. You mean the one that my

grandmother made me swear on her

deathbed that I would never let out of

our family?

>> Dying people say the craziest things.

I've wanted it for years. I'm just going

to make cookies for my children.

Don't

>> break my heart. Oh, all right. Okay. I

don't have the recipe, but here. I wish

you health and happiness.

>> An old cookie.

>> This is what happens when you don't

register for gifts.

>> See, though, I I made a batch and I

froze it and this is the only one left.

>> We can't accept this. Why not?

>> Cuz it's gross.

>> No, wait. I think I can figure out the

recipe from this cookie. I do stuff like

this at work all the time.

>> Really?

>> Yeah. I think I can do it.

>> Oh, yay.

>> I I definitely taste nutmeg.

>> You do? You don't?

>> Well, it's the difference between a

professional and a layman.

>> That and arrogance.

>> Hey.

>> Hey. How was sailing?

>> I don't want to talk about it.

>> No, you could have at least saved me A

WHOLE COOKIE.

>> NO, NO, NO.

>> Women are mean.

>> Can't believe that. Now, the only thing

that's left of my grandmother's legacy

is this crumb.

I wish you a long and happy marriage.

Here's

batch 22.

Maybe these will taste like your

grandmother's. This has a little bit of

orange peel, but no nutmeg.

>> Let's give it a shot.

>> Okay. Well, I've not made this many

cookies since I was in the ninth grade.

>> What was that for? Like a bake sale?

>> No, just a Friday night.

>> These are pretty good.

>> Yeah, but not as good as batch 17.

>> Which one was that?

>> The ones we had right after you almost

threw up.

Oh, yeah. Batch 17 was good. I did not

like batch 16.

I'm okay.

>> Are there any more from the good batch?

Cuz we could just work off of those.

Yeah.

>> Yeah. Well, yeah. I think there's one

from batch 17 left. Uh,

it's batch 16. 16 people, get out of the

way. That would actually make my grandma

really happy to know that we're trying

to figure out her recipe. I bet she's

looking up at us and smiling right now.

>> Looking up.

>> Oh, yeah. No, she was really nice to me,

but she's in hell for sure.

Well, I've tried everything. I give up.

I guess I'm not going to be the mom who

makes the world's best chocolate chip

cookies. I do make the best duck comfi

with broccoli rub.

Kids love that, right?

Oh,

>> Feeb, come on. Isn't there any relative

that would have the recipe? What about

What about your sister?

>> Oh, no, no, no. I made a promise to

myself that the next time I would talk

to Ursula is over my dead body.

And that's not happening till October

15th, 2032.

>> That's the day you're going to die. See?

Darn it. I've got shuffle board that

day.

That's what you think.

>> Well, I mean, what about friends of your

grandmothers? Wouldn't they have the

recipe?

>> Well, you know, I I may have relatives

in France who would know. My grandmother

said she got the recipe from her

grandmother, Nestle Tulo.

>> What was her name?

>> Nestle Tulousa.

Nestle Toll House.

You Americans always butcher the French

language.

>> Phoei, is this the recipe?

>> YES.

>> OH,

I cannot believe that I just spent the

last two days trying to figure out that

recipe and it was my cupboard the whole

time.

>> I know. You see, it is stuff like this,

WHICH IS WHY YOU'RE BURNING IT OUT.

>> THERE A TIME WHEN the brightest minds in

the world believed that the earth was

flat. And up until like what, 50 years

ago, you all thought the atom was the

smallest thing until you split it open

and this like whole mess of crap came

out?

Now, are you telling me that you are so

unbelievably arrogant that you can't

admit that there's a teeny tiny

possibility that you could be wrong

about this?

There might be

a teeny

tiny

possibility

Can't believe you caved.

>> What?

>> You just abandoned your whole belief

system.

>> I mean, before I I didn't agree with

you, but at least I respected you. But

>> no, how how are you going to go into

work tomorrow?

>> How How are you going to face the other

science guys? How How are you going to

face yourself?

That was fun. So, who's hungry?

>> Oh, hey you guys.

>> Oh, hey.

>> Hi.

>> Hey, listen. Let me ask you. Do you

believe in soulmates?

>> Oh, yes, I do. I do. I believe that

there is one perfect person out there

for everyone. And you know how you find

them? You stop looking for them. That's

why I've stopped looking for Russell

Crow.

>> He'll find me.

>> Uhhuh. And you?

>> No. I mean, I believe that certain

people are more suited for each other,

and I believe in falling in love, but

soul mates, I don't think they exist.

>> Okay, good.

>> Why?

>> Well, last night I met Monica's.

>> What?

>> Yeah. I I had a date with this guy, and

I swear to God, he is her other half.

>> Come on, don't be crazy. You don't think

there's somebody out there better suited

for Monica than me, do you?

>> But what's he like?

>> Well, he's tall.

>> Uh-huh.

>> He has brown hair.

>> Of course. Of course.

>> A tall guy with hair similar to mine.

Oh, a noble universe.

>> He works with food. Oh, sure. Older,

>> obviously. And he's British.

>> I was JUST GOING TO ASK.

>> YEAH.

>> And he's he's so centered and mature and

confident. Oh, it's so sad they never

had a chance to meet.

>> Luckily, the guy she settled for can't

hear what you're talking about.

>> Oh, I'm so sorry. Um, and maybe I'm

wrong. I But you know what? I'm going to

go out with him again. I'll find out

more.

>> You believe that this guy is destined

for somebody else and you're still going

to date him?

>> Well, he may not be my soulmate, but

girls got to eat.

>> Oh. Oh,

>> hi.

>> Hi.

>> Um, Chandler, Monica, this is Dawn.

>> Oh, hello.

>> Hello. Nice to meet you, too. How are

you?

>> Tall, mate.

>> So, what have you guys been doing?

>> Well, we just had a terrible lunch at

Adriatica. What is with all the sundried

tomatoes at that place?

>> I know. What is this, 1985?

>> That's exactly what I said, Phoebe.

Isn't that strange?

>> Not really.

>> What's wrong with sundried tomatoes?

>> On a barbecued chicken pizza?

>> No.

So, Dom, what what other restaurants do

you like?

>> Well, Octavio 27 and 7. Oh, there's this

great little place, Alessandro.

>> Oh my god, that's my restaurant. I'm the

chef there.

>> You're kidding me. You your food is

fantastic. Wow. I really want to talk to

you about your menu. I'm just going to

get some coffees first. Um, anyone want

anything?

>> No, I'd like a latte. You know what? If

you're going to talk about me, I'm going

to go with you.

>> What are you doing?

>> Nothing. I swear to God, I didn't know

you guys would be here. And the good

news is you don't even believe in

soulmates. So

>> I believe in tall, handsome strangers

who hit on my wife.

>> They're just talking. And you know what?

Just cuz I think they're soulmates

doesn't mean anything's going to happen.

>> Maybe good work.

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah. I was afraid I love him.

>> Don't worry, we'll find you someone

else.

>> My life's gone pretty well, but I look

around and I just see so many people who

have accomplished so many of their goals

by the time they're 30. Yeah, but you

shouldn't compare yourself to me.

>> There you go.

>> I did it. One mile on a hiphop.

That's it. That's everything I wanted to

do before I was 30. Except I wanted to

patch things up with my sister.

>> Oh well. But yay.

>> And And girls, this thing is a godsend,

if you know what I mean.

>> Hey, I'm here.

>> Oh. Oh my god.

>> You like it?

>> Oh my god.

>> It's my new apothecary table.

>> Ros Stevie is going to be here any

second. She cannot see this.

>> Oh, why not? She'll She'll love it. It's

the real thing. I got a Pottery Barn.

>> I know you did. I bought the same one.

And if she sees your table, she's going

to know that I lied to her. I told her

that ours wasn't original.

>> Why did you do that?

>> Because she hates Pottery Barn.

>> She hates Pottery Barn.

>> I know. I know. She says it's all

mass-produced. Nothing is authentic. And

everyone winds up having the same stuff.

>> So, come on. She's going to be here any

second. Can we please just cover this up

with something, please?

>> What? No. No. I am not going to hide it

from Phoebe. Oh, although I did get some

great Pottery Barn sheets.

>> Oh, I forgot they made sheets.

>> Yeah.

>> I still can't believe she hates Pottery

Barn.

>> Ross, get over it. It's not like she

hates you.

>> Yeah, but Pottery Barn,

>> you know, when I think she's just she's

weird, you know? It's because she's a

twin. Twins are weird.

>> Ross, she's not weird. She just likes

her stuff to be one of a kind.

>> You know what's not one of a kind? A

twin.

>> Hey.

>> Hey.

>> Oh, Phoe's here. Okay. So, let's turn on

all the lights and we'll just watch the

movie. Okay. Hey. Ooh, cool sheet.

>> Oh, you like it? You want to know where

I got it?

>> Sure. They got They GOT IT AT A FLEA

MARKET.

YOU BOUGHT YOUR SHEETS at a flea market.

>> Ross, come on. You got to loosen the

purse strings a little.

>> Hey babes, can you please not put your

feet up on my new

>> old sheet?

MY APOTHECARY TABLE.

WHAT? NO.

>> ROSS, WHERE DID YOU GET THIS?

>> I GOT IT AT POTTERY BARN. OKAY.

>> Oh my god. Baby, Pottery Barn has ripped

off the design OF OUR ANTIQUE.

>> WOW.

>> OH MY GOD. WELL, IF THEY'VE ripped off

our table, ours must be worth much more

than $1 in $50.

>> Well, this doesn't even smell like

opium.

>> Of course not. It smells like wine.

which you spilled. And thanks for

wrecking my sheet, by the way.

>> Oh, Ross, calm down. I'll give you the

80 cents.

Well, Glattus, say hello to your new

home.

>> Oh my

wow. Oh, she's so nice and big.

Oh, Monica, where are you going to

display Glattus oh so proudly?

You haven't really settled on a spot

yet.

>> Well, hey, how about right above the TV?

That way, it will be the first thing

that you see when you walk in the door.

Yeah. Yeah. And you can get rid of that

French poster. I like that poster.

Really doesn't have anything coming out

of it.

>> Or maybe there's some place for her in

your bedroom. Oh, there's nothing above

your bed. Are you still here?

>> Hey, listen. You know how uh when you're

wearing pants and you lean forward, I

check out your underwear?

>> Yeah.

>> Well, when Jake did it, I saw that he

was wearing women's underwear.

>> I know. They were mine.

>> Oh,

no. No, wait. That's weird.

>> No, it's not. We were just goofing

around and I dared him to try them on.

>> That's weird.

>> I'm wearing his briefs right now. That's

kind of hot.

>> I think so, too. And that little flap,

it's great for holding my lipstick.

>> Yeah, I wouldn't know about that.

>> And you know, Jake says that women's

underwear is actually more comfortable

and he loves the way the silk feels

against his skin.

>> Yeah. Well, next thing you know, he'd be

telling you that your high heels are

good for his posture.

There is nothing wrong with Jake, okay?

He is all man. I'm thinking even more

than you.

>> Oh yeah, he look like a real lumberjack

in those pink laces.

>> I'm just saying that only a man

completely secure with his masculinity

could walk around in women's underwear.

I don't think you could ever do that.

>> Hey, I am secure with my masculinity.

>> Okay, whatever.

>> You've seen my huge stack of porn,

right?

Yeah.

Hey, fibs.

>> Hey,

>> check it out.

>> Huh?

>> How much of a man am I?

>> Wow, nice. Manly and also kind of a

You know, I'm beginning to see what Jake

was talking about.

>> The silk feels really good.

>> Yeah. And and things aren't as smashed

down as I thought they were going to be.

>> It's great, Joe.

>> Yeah. And you have so many more choices

than you do with men's underwear.

Bikini, French cut, thong, and and the

fabrics. You got cotton, silk, lace, and

you know what? I've always wondered

about panty hoes. You know the way they

start at your toe and then they go all

the way up to

>> I should go take these off, shouldn't I?

>> I think it's important that you do

>> feel better.

>> Yeah. Much

Listen, uh not that I'm insecure about

my manhood or anything, you know, but uh

I think I need to hook up with a woman

like right now.

>> Yeah, I understand.

>> Yeah. Okay.

>> Hey. Hi.

>> Hi.

>> You know, you look familiar. Do I know

you from somewhere?

>> I don't think so.

>> Maybe it's because I'm on television.

>> I'm an actor on Days of Our Lives.

>> Wow.

>> Really?

>> Mhm.

>> 450, please. Oh,

>> let me get this.

These are for you.

>> Tie my shoes. So, you go ahead. I'll

catch up. Okay. Okay.

>> Come on. LET'S START RUNNING. LET'S GO.

You guys, I'm telling you, when she

runs, she looks like a cross between

Kermit the Frog and the $6 million man.

>> Monica had such a crush on him that she

used to kiss his poster every night

before she went to bed.

>> Oh, I used to do that, too.

>> Did you also have his album, It's Not

Easy Being Green.

>> Oh,

so Phoebe runs weird, huh?

Yeah. Yeah. You know what? And and I

know she's going to want to run again. I

just don't I don't know how to get out

of it. I mean, I live with her.

>> Why don't you just be straight with her?

Tell her the truth.

>> You're right.

>> You're right. I should just tell her the

truth.

>> Hey.

>> Hey.

>> Hey, Bab. Monica tripped me. I don't

think I can ever run again. Ever.

>> Why? Why would you do that?

>> I don't know.

>> Rachel, I'm I'm sorry that I hurt your

ankles. Ankle. We'll see.

>> Oh, yeah. Uh-huh. It's me. I saw you

grab your running shoes this morning and

sneak out. You lied so you could run by

yourself.

>> No. No, Phoebe. No, I was No, you know

what? I was I was actually just checking

to see if I could run, and I can.

>> Please, Rachel. I am not an idiot.

>> No, WAIT, PHOEBE.

HEY, PHOEI. Can I talk to you for a

second? Sure. Okay. Um, I

Phoebe, look, I just wanted to say that

I'm sorry. Okay. I handled the situation

horribly and and I should not have lied

to you.

>> So, what should you have done?

>> Well, I I should have told you the

truth.

>> Uhhuh. which is

well, you know, the reason that I didn't

want to go running with you is

because um well, you know, the way that

you run is just a little

So,

>> well, it's embarrassing. People were

looking at us like we were crazy.

>> Why do you care? Because they're people.

But people that you don't know and will

never see again.

>> Yes, but still they are people with

eyes.

Well, I didn't get embarrassed running

next to Miss.

>> But Oh, okay. No, no, I can see why

running with me would be embarrassing to

you. Yeah. Okay. You're uptight.

>> Well, I But I am not up to

Listen, I am not uptight, man.

That's okay, Rachel. I'm not judging

you. That's just who you are. me, I'm

more freak, you know. I run like I did

when I was a kid because it's the only

way it's fun, you know? I mean, didn't

you ever run so fast you thought your

legs were going to fall off? You know,

like when you were like running toward

the swings or or running away from

Satan,

the neighbor's dog.

I'm so sorry. You're right. This feels

great.

>> See, and you don't care if people are

staring. IT'S JUST FOR a second CUZ THEN

YOU'RE GONE.

>> GOD, I MEAN, IT'S AMAZING. I feel so

free AND SO GRACEFUL.

HEY, look out for the horse.

重点词汇

词汇	含义
fortune /ˈfɔːrtʃən/ A2	noun - 命运 (mìngyùn)
accurate /ˈækjərət/ B1	adjective - 准确的 (zhǔnquè de)
promotion /prəˈmoʊʃən/ A2	noun - 晋升 (jìnshēng)
violent /ˈvaɪələnt/ A2	adjective - 暴力的 (bàolì de)
scientific /ˌsaɪənˈtɪfɪk/ B1	adjective - 科学的 (kēxué de)
discovery /dɪˈskʌvəri/ A2	noun - 发现 (fāxiàn)
dreams /driːmz/ A1	noun - 梦 (mèng)
universe /ˈjuːnɪvɜːrs/ B1	noun - 宇宙 (yǔzhòu)
together /təˈɡeθər/ A1	adverb - 一起 (yīqǐ)
witty /ˈwɪti/ B1	adjective - 机智的 (jīzhì de)
masseuse /mæˈsøz/ B1	noun - 按摩师 (ànmó shī)
erotic /ɪˈrɒtɪk/ B2	adjective - 情色的 (qíngsè de)
unpopular /ˌʌnˈpɒpjələr/ A2	adjective - 不受欢迎的 (bù shòu huānyíng de)
spirit /ˈspɪrɪt/ A2	noun - 灵魂 (línghún)
psychic /ˈsaɪkɪk/ B1	adjective - 超感官的 (chāo gǎnɡuān de)
ritual /ˈrɪtʃuəl/ A2	noun - 仪式 (yíshì)
cleansing /ˈklenzɪŋ/ B1	noun - 净化 (jìnghuà)
semen /ˈsiːmən/ C1	noun - 精液 (jīngyè)
righteous /ˈrɪtʃəs/ B2	adjective - 正直的 (zhèngzhí de)
embarrassing /ɪmˈbærəsɪŋ/ A2	adjective - 尴尬的 (gānà de)

重点语法结构

• Okay. So, when you're done with your tea, I'll look at the leaves and tell you your fortune.

  ➔ 用 'will' 表示将来时

  ➔ 句子 'I'll look' 使用 'will' 来表示将来发生的动作。

• I actually stopped because I was so accurate, you know, and and you know, one of the great joys of life is its wondrous unpredictability.

  ➔ 关系代词 'that' 被省略

  ➔ 这句话在 'because' 后省略了 'that', 这是口语中常见的现象。

• I see a ladder, which can mean either a promotion or a violent death.

  ➔ 关系代词 'which'

  ➔ 'Which' 用于引导一个描述前面的名词的从句。

• Well, I have been spending a lot of time in the lab.

  ➔ 现在完成进行时

  ➔ 句子 'have been spending' 表示一个从过去开始并持续到现在的动作。

• Maybe he's the tea guy.

  ➔ 缩写 'he's'

  ➔ 'he's' 是 'he is' 的缩写, 用于口语中简化表达。

• For the last couple of weeks, I've been seeing that guy everywhere I go.

  ➔ 现在完成进行时

  ➔ 句子 'I've been seeing' 表示一个从过去开始并持续到现在的动作。

• We take the same bus. We go to the same bookstore, same dry cleaner.

  ➔ 并列结构

  ➔ 这句话使用并列结构 'We take,' 'We go,' 和 'same' 来创建一个平衡且清晰的列表。

• Someone does. Me.

  ➔ 强调代词 'Me'

  ➔ 句末的 'Me' 强调了说话人的角色。

• I'm here ready to play.

  ➔ 状语短语 'ready to play'

  ➔ 短语 'ready to play' 作为状语短语, 描述说话人的状态。

• You're coming on a little strong, but I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt because seems the universe really wants us to be together.

  ➔ 从属连词 'because'

  ➔ 'because' 用于引导一个解释前句原因的从句。