– 英语/中文 双语歌词

歌词与翻译

[中文]

天哪，这个地方太压抑了。如果我

必须在这里工作，我会自杀。

>> 你显然还没有。

>> 我能为您提供什么帮助？

>> 嗯，我需要更改我的名字。

看，我需要改变它，因为我

逃避法律。

>> 你很有趣。

>> 需要填写此表格。

>> 好的。嗯，我只是知道而已。我不

知道它到底是如何工作的。看，我的名字

是嗯巴菲特，我丈夫的名字是

哈尼根。那么，它应该是自助餐

Hanigan 还是 Hanigan 自助餐？

>> 它可以是您想要的任何内容。

>> 嗯，没什么。

>> 是的，任何东西。

>> 哦，这可能需要一段时间。

>>滚出我的脑海。

>> 好的。

>> 嘿。嘿，盗贼们。哦，不再是了。我今天

更改了它。哦，对不起，

Hanigan 女士。

>> 又错了。

>> 显然，您可以将其更改为

任何您想要的内容。所以，我想，

好吧，这是一个发挥创意的机会

。那么，来认识一下康苏埃拉公主

香蕉吊床。

>> 这就是我们要为

婴儿命名的名称。

>> 菲。呃，康苏埃拉公主。

你真的把你的名字改成了这个吗？

>> 嗯嗯。

>> 好的。所以，从现在开始，我们必须称呼您

康苏埃拉公主。

>> 呃，不。我要让我的朋友

叫我瓦莱丽。

>> 嘿，欢迎回来。

>> 我想你。

>> 哦，我也是。

>> 那么，有哪些新内容？

>> 好吧，我不再是菲比·巴菲特了。

>> 太棒了。你改名字了？

>> 是的，我做到了。认识康苏埃拉公主

香蕉吊床。

>> 你在开玩笑吧？没有。

>> 你真的这么做了？

>> 是的。

>> 你不能这样做。

>> 为什么？为什么？很有趣。这是不同的。

没有人有类似的名字。

>> 好吧。我要更改我的

名称。

>> 太棒了。好的。您打算

将其更改为什么？

>> 垃圾袋？

>> 迈克？垃圾袋？

>> 不，不，迈克？不，只是垃圾袋。

名字废话。姓氏袋。

>> 你不是认真的吧？是的，我是认真的

。很有趣。这是不同的。没有

人有这样的名字。

>> 嗯。嗯。

>> 好吧，那就太好了。如果你喜欢它，我也喜欢

。

>> 我真的很喜欢它。我喜欢你的名字。我

爱康苏埃拉公主。

>> 我喜欢垃圾。

>> 在你之后，香蕉吊床小姐。

>> 谢谢你，巴格先生。

>> 哦，嘿。你好吗？

>> 好。哦，丽塔是一位按摩顾客。是的。

哦，

>>你为什么不介绍一下我呢？

丽塔，这是我的丈夫。

>> 哦，是的。

>> 你为什么不告诉她我的名字？

>> 好的，我会的。这是嗯，这是我的

丈夫。嗯，垃圾袋。

>> 垃圾袋。

>> 如果您需要一种简单的方法来记住它，

就想一袋垃圾。

>> 好的。打扰一下。

>> 是的。

好吧，好吧。你已经表达了你的观点。你能

再次扮演迈克·哈尼根吗？

>> 前提是您是菲比·巴菲特。

>> 那么哈尼根自助餐怎么样？

>> 真的吗？

>> 是的。我是菲比·巴菲特·哈尼根。香蕉

吊床。

>> 你知道香蕉吊床

是什么吗？

>> 这是一个有趣的词。

>> 这是一个速度表。

>> 哦糟糕。

特种部队。特种部队乔。

>> 嘿，我不知道该告诉你们什么。

这就是他选择的娃娃。

>> 你做了什么？沾点糖吗？

>> 看，大兵乔进来了。芭比出去了。

如果你们无法应对，那是

你们太糟糕了。

>> 你这么小气干什么？

有人有一个芭比娃娃。有什么大不了的。你

曾经打扮得像个女人。

什么？

>> 我们过去总是

穿着妈妈的衣服。

>> 你在说什么？

>> 大帽子、珍珠、粉色小

手提包。

>> 好吧，这完全是你编的。

>> 你怎么不记得了？你让我们

称呼你为。

>> 天啊。

我真的从来没有这么开心过。

>> 不是有一首小歌吗？

>> 哦，上帝啊，请赐予一首歌吧。

>> 没有歌曲。没有歌。

>> 我是。

>> 好的。

>> 我喝茶。

>> 好的，就这样了。

>> 你不会

你不会

你不会

>> 你不会和我一起跳舞吗？

>> 我们将采用文学。

电视指南每周都会来到

钱德勒和乔伊的公寓。地址标签上显示的名称

是什么？

>> 钱德勒明白了。我是钱德勒·宾。

不，

>> 恐怕电视指南会谈到

Chanandler Bong。

>> 我知道。雷切尔，用你的头脑。

>> 实际上，是 Janandler Bond 小姐。

你好。是的。

按摩时间到了。是的。把

把你的脸放进洞里。

来自真正的瑞典

人的瑞典式按摩。

好吧，那我是瑞典人。

那么，你叫什么名字？

>> 这是一个正常的瑞典名字。宜家。

>> 哇，多有趣的名字啊。

>> 是的，你知道，我是

>> 是时候进行头皮按摩了。

>> 哇，我真的很喜欢你

有什么问题吗？

>> 不，只是感觉很好。

宜家。

哦，嘿，说吧，你就会知道这一点。

瑞典的首都是哪？

嗯，

斯德哥尔摩。

该死，我希望我知道这是对的。

罗斯，我有没有告诉过你

我去西欧

背包旅行的事？

>> 嘿，准备好看一些乞讨吧。

>> 哦，你来找罗斯了。

>> 什么？

>> 现在我很高兴。

你在说什么？

>> 您使用欧洲故事。

>> 这就是当你

想要做爱时使用的神奇故事。

>> 你是怎么知道这个故事的？

>> 你是怎么知道这个故事的？

>> 我是从我的朋友艾琳那里听到的，她

是从某个人那里听到的。

>> 某个人？

>> 不。不。她告诉我他的名字是

肯·亚当斯。

亚当，

>> 这个女人正在过着我的生活。

>> 什么？她过着我的生活，而且她

比我做得更好。

看看这个。看。她买了我想看的

场演出的门票。她她在商店买了

件衣服，我被销售人员吓到了

。她花了 300 美元购买

美术用品。

>> 你不是艺术家？

>> 是的，好吧，如果我有

用品，我可能会这么做。

我的意思是，我可以做所有这些事情。只是

我不知道。

>> 莫妮卡，加油。你做很酷的事情。

>> 哦，真的吗？好吧，我们来比较一下，

好吗？

>> 哦，太晚了，可以吗？

>> 我可以去公园骑马吗？

>> 我在新学校上课吗？

>> 不。

>> 不。

>> 太不公平了。她拥有我想要的一切

，但她没有我的母亲。

嘿。嘿。你好。

>>嗨。呃，是的。这是莫妮卡·盖勒。嗯，

我相信我正在和

你一起上一些课，我想知道它们是什么。

>> 你在做什么？好的。伟大的。

太棒了。多谢。我将点击

课程。这样您就可以与偷了您信用卡的

女人跳舞。这个

女人夺走了我的生命。我应该看看

她是谁。去邮局。我

确信她的照片在上面。

>> 好吧，莫妮卡，你知道吗？亲爱的，

你有点迷失了。我的意思是，

这真的变得像一个奇怪的

痴迷的事情。这太疯狂了。我告诉你，这是

疯狂。看在

上帝的份上，莫妮卡，不要这样做。

谢谢。

没关系。没关系。我在这儿。我在这里

。抱歉我来晚了。好的，我

在这里。那么，新来的紧张女孩是谁？她是

你的伴侣。

>>嗨。你好。

>> 我是莫妮卡。

>> 哦，莫妮卡。

不，嗨。我是

娜娜。

>> 马纳纳。

>> 这是荷兰语。

>> 你在开玩笑吧。我在

阿姆斯特丹度过了三年。

>> 嗯，宾夕法尼亚荷兰语。

我们正在跳五、六、七、

八。

>> 你到底去哪儿了？为什么我

可以破坏使馆聚会？

>> 你喝醉了吗？

>> 否。

为什么？我醉得很厉害。

哦，对了。莫妮卡，你知道吗？您

可以打电话。我一直在这儿。

我一直很担心。莫妮卡，

规则是什么？

>> 是的。是的，确实如此。好吧，看一下。

餐厅今天又打来电话。他们希望

知道您是否会

去上班。

>> 不。今天去纽约马戏团

。好吧，莫妮卡，你在做什么？

你将失去工作。这是

，不是你。

>> 不，是我。你知道，我不仅仅是

那种需要松松枕头

并在他们进来

后立即支付账单的人。你知道，当我和她在一起时，我

远不止于此。我是

我是Manana。

>> 祝你有个美好的夜晚。

>> 那家伙刚刚叫你托比吗？

>> 是的，他认为那是我的名字。

那么，你为什么不纠正他呢？

>> 哦，这已经持续太久了。

>> 我的意思是，他第一次这么说时，我们

只是在

走廊里擦肩而过，所以我什么也没说。

然后下次他说：“嘿，托比，

你想要一个甜甜圈吗？”我想要

甜甜圈。

现在五年过去了，甜甜圈

不见了，而我仍然是托比。

>> 乔伊·佩波尼。

>> 哦，还是太民族化了。我的经纪人认为我

应该有一个更中性的名字。

>> 乔伊瑞士。

另外，你知道，我认为应该是

乔。你知道，乔伊让我听起来像是

我这么大，但其实我不是。

乔。乔.乔.斯大林。

斯大林。

斯大林。我知道这个名字吗？这听起来

很熟悉。好吧，它并没有给我敲响警钟

。

乔·斯大林。

>> 你知道这非常好。

>> 您可能想尝试约瑟夫。

>> 约瑟夫·斯大林。

>> 我想你会记住这一点。

>> 哦，是的。

再见约瑟夫·斯大林主演的小鸟球。

约瑟夫·斯大林是

屋顶上的小提琴手。

>> 你知道已经有一个约瑟夫

斯大林了。

>> 你在开玩笑吧。

显然他就是这位屠杀了所有这些人的俄罗斯独裁者

。

你可能认为你会知道这一点。

你知道，你会认为我会的。

>> 在这里，你们在这里。

床垫王送货。

>> 你，盖拉小姐。

>> 好的。

>> 在此签名。

>> 我有中间名吗？

>> 好的。莫妮卡·法卢拉

盖勒。就是那间卧室。

嘿，莫妮卡从

床垫大王那里买了一张床。

>> 是的。所以，拜托，拜托，拜托不要

对钱德勒说任何话。

>> 你想让我对钱德勒撒谎吗？

>> 这是一个问题吗？

>> 号

>> 这是什么？

是不是很酷？房间。房间。

这不是我订购的床。我知道。

你一定赢了，就像一场比赛或

什么的，

>> 宝贝。

为什么这辆车在我的卧室里？

>> 对不起。好吧，我没看，

商店说他们不会收回

，因为你已经签收了。

>> 我什么时候签收的？

>> 当我还是你的时候。你知道吗？这都是

乔伊的错，因为他没有做到这一点。

>> 今天你做了布朗尼蛋糕吗？

>> 敲敲。

>> 快，脱掉你的衣服。他不会

注意到这张床。

>> 嘿，我去吃寿司。有人

想要呃

哇，有人错过了出口匝道。

>> 这是莫妮卡的床。什么？

>> 好吧，

这是一辆赛车。

>> 所以，这一直是莫妮卡的床。

嗯，你现在才注意到。

你的自我投入程度如何？

>> 好的。好吧，如果这张床不是新的，那么

为什么

床垫上有塑料？

有时我会做恶梦。

>> 呃，我可以帮你吗？

>> 是的。你好。我在电话里和你谈过。

我是那位被比赛

汽车床困住的女士。

>> 看，就像我告诉过你有

我无能为力。你签了字。

莫妮卡·费卢拉·盖勒。

>> 好吧，切斯特。伙计，看。我们想要

去见国王。没有人看到国王。

好的，我正在和国王说话。嘿，你

不能回到那里。

>> 天哪。

>> 嘿。

>> 嘿。

>> 哦，最糟糕的一天。您知道，您认为

您终于在工作中取得了进步

，然后您的老板打电话给您拉奎尔。

>> 嘿，听着。在

我工作的前四年里，每个人都叫我莎。

说真的，

>> 我相信你。

>> 所以，当时正值

员工会议进行中。所以，当然，没有人

else愿意纠正她。所以，

其他人都叫我 Raquel。到

那天结束时，收发室的人都叫我

洛基。

>> 嗯，我仍然认为你非常非常

很好而且非常漂亮。

>> 什么？

都是你的，宝贝。嘿。呃，另一个

人在哪里？

>> 哪个家伙？

>> 他有点高，黑头发。手

看起来就像这样。看？

>> 我不知道手怎么样，但在我之前的

人刚刚去了

餐厅。好的。

>> 你好吗？

>> 很忙。

>> 对。好的。

>> 我赢了。我赢了。我终于赢了。我赢了。那

是我的季度。好吧，这里。采取

高音。

>> 对不起，先生。这位女士演奏了我的

四分之一。这是我的钱。

>> 小姐，是这样吗？

>> 向孩子们出售毒品。

>> 什么？

>> 她向孩子们出售毒品。

>> 这是我的季度。

>> 这是她的季度吗？

>> 我们在

晚餐时讨论这个怎么样？

>> 好的，女士。你离开这里了。不，你

不能逮捕我。不，我不会回去。我

不会回到那个地狱般的地方。

>> 只是带你出去。

>> 哦，好吧。

>> 你要玩吗？

>> 没有。

>> 没有，我真的没有钱。

>> 还没有。不管怎样，

取消。

>> 你好，我叫雷吉娜·费兰吉。

我是一名在城里出差的女商人。

您想看看我的卡片吗？哦，我对文件效果做了什么

？我一定

把它落在B会议室了。

>> 14.打我。

>> 天哪。我只能说你们两位

先生拥有完全相同的双手。

它们是相同的。现在，我在商业

类似的事情。

世界中从未见过

>> 停止吧。

>> Fangi小姐，我可以问你一个问题吗？作为

在这张桌子上的公正的人。

>> 请停止它。

>> 是的。您愿意花很多钱来观看

这些相同的手牌在某个

类型的呃娱乐场所中展示吗？啊？

>> 如果你现在离开，我就把我的

手砍下来交给你。

>> 我刚刚不是把你从这里扔出去了吗？

>> 不，你赶走了菲比。我是雷吉娜

范吉。范吉？

来吧，女士。求你了，也请把他带走吧，

。

>> 哦，来吧，伙计。快点。

>> 不要 不要让他这样做。快点。

举起你的手，双胞胎。

>> 谢谢。

>> 您好，先生。您是来退货

条裤子的吗？

>> 不，这是我的裤子。

哦。

好的。

需要什么帮助吗？

>> 嗯，你还有圣诞老人服装

...

>> 圣诞节前两天吗？对不起，伙计。

>> 好的。看看，你有什么圣诞礼物吗？

？我答应了我儿子，我

真的不想让他失望。嗯，

来吧。我你必须有一些东西。

我是节日犰狳。

我是圣诞老人的朋友，他派我

来这里祝你圣诞快乐。

>> 圣诞老人怎么了？假期

犰狳。

>> 圣诞老人没空。距离

圣诞节如此之近。

>> 哦，好吧，进来吧。坐吧。从

已经筋疲力尽了。

德克萨斯州一路过来，您一定

德克萨斯州。

>> 没错，本。我是圣诞老人的

代表，代表所有南部

州

和墨西哥。

但是圣诞老人派我来这里是为了给你这些

礼物，本。也许那位女士会帮我

送这些礼物。

哇。谢谢。

>> 不客气，本。圣诞快乐。

光明节快乐。

>> 你也来光明节吗？因为我有

部分犹太人的血统。

>> 你是？我也是。

因为犰狳也曾在

沙漠中徘徊。

>> 哦。哦，对不起，女士。是的。你不能

把香烟放在树上。

>> 是的，我可以。效果非常好。

>> 但你不应该这样做。所以，永远不要再这样做

。

>> 在我抽下一支烟之前我不会。

>> 称之为纽约警察局冻结朋克。

>> 什么？

没错。你真是太失败了。

呃，预订吧。

>> 你在跟谁说话？

>> 保存它，红色。

除非你想在

猛烈撞击器中过夜，否则你要向树道歉。

>> 我不会向一棵树道歉。

>> 你现在就向树道歉，否则我

正在呼叫支援。

备份。备份。

>> 我很抱歉。对不起。

>> 好的。取消。备份。取消。备份。

需要帮忙吗？

>> 是的，我是雷切尔·格林斯的朋友。

>> 哦，对了。呃，黎明。

>> 关闭。罗恩.

好吧，

>> 呃，我能为您做什么？

>> 嗯，好吧，我来这里是为了看看，呃，

你是否会把工作还给 Rachel。

>> 啊，她，呃，邀请你来这里

做这个吗？

>> 哦，不。首先，我必须让您

同意。然后，我们会看看她是否想

回来。

>> 哇，这很诱人。

看，她喜欢这里的工作。让我们

面对现实吧，你不会找到任何人

做得像她一样好。

不是吗？

>> 她很好。

>> 哦，我在那里拍了一张。

>> 这是你的儿子？

>> 是的。他的名字叫罗斯。

>> 什么？

>> 呃，没什么。只是它离 Ron

很近。

>> 嘿，你自己写了很多

行，这是真的吗？呃，嗯，有点。

是的。

>> 还记得上周 Alex 遭遇

事故吗？好吧，

脚本中的台词是：“如果我们不将这名妇女

送往医院，她就会死去。”但

我做到了。如果这位女士不去

医院，她就活不了了。

>> 哦，好吧。我明白你在那里做了什么。

>> 你难道不担心

作家读到这篇文章时会有点生气吗？

？啊？

从来没有真正考虑过作家。

脚本就这样来到我的

家里。

>> 但你知道吗？这让我看起来

很好，这让节目看起来很好，

这让编剧看起来很好。那么，

他们怎么会对此生气呢？

>> 弥补了他的大部分台词。

的儿子是的，写这个混蛋。

>> 我从电梯井里摔下来。

这到底是什么意思？我从

电梯井里摔下来。

>> 呃，我不知道。我只是带来了

脚本。

>> 他们杀不了我。我是弗朗西斯卡

失散多年的儿子。

>> 对。

Amber，

我想让你知道，我将永远

作为你的朋友和你的

兄弟在你身边。

>> 哦，德雷克。

>> 是吗？啊？医学

奖在哪里？

>> 是的。我猜有些人只是幸运。

>> Ramore 博士，向一楼

急救人员报到。

>> 好吧，那么呃

呃我猜就是我。

还有人需要乘电梯吗？

黄博士。黄博士。不，不，

>> 他们只说你。

>> 嗯，好的。

好吧。

>> 我爱你，德雷克。是的，无论如何。

>> 德雷克，小心。

>> 他们刚刚杀了乔伊吗？

>> 不。

>> 不。也许吧。

>> 嘿，妈妈。

>> 妈妈，离开这里。

>>莫妮卡。

>> 好的。好的。你必须帮助我们确定

这是谁的笑话。

>> 为什么我必须做出决定？

>> 因为你是唯一能够

公平的人。

>> 我不公平。你是我男朋友。

>> 是的。是的。但我是你的兄弟。我们是

家庭。这是世界上最重要的事情

。

>> 不要试图影响她。

>> 我是你生孩子的唯一机会。

>> 好的，我们走吧。好的。嗯，好吧，

我们会分别告诉你，我们是如何想出这个笑话的

，然后你决定

我们中谁说的是真话。

我。

>> 钱德勒，你先走。

>> 好的。两个月前

在与史蒂夫共进午餐时我想到了一个笑话。

>> 哦，等等。他是我在

圣诞节遇到的那个人吗？

>> 我可以讲完我的故事吗？

>> 你想让我接你吗？

>> 看吧，我绝不会像

那样对你发脾气。

>> 继续。

>> 好的。所以，史蒂夫说他必须去看

医生，史蒂夫的医生的名字是

Mumpy 医生。所以，我说的是猴子博士。

就是整个《猴子博士》事件的由来

。

>> 你在开玩笑吗？

好的，看。我研究进化论。

还记得进化论吗？猴变人。

另外，我是一名医生。我有一只猴子。

我是蒙奇博士。

>> 我并不反对这一点。好吧，我

已经听够了。我已经做出了

决定。

>> 好吧，让我告诉

>> 你们都是白痴。

>> 这个笑话不好笑，而且对女性、医生和猴子来说是冒犯的

。

您不应该争论谁获得

功劳。你应该争论谁

因给世界带来了这个可怕的

笑话而受到指责。现在放手吧。

这个笑话很糟糕。

这是你的笑话。

>> 事实并非如此。

>> 那么妥协怎么样？好的。

如果是，你知道，Chenoi，那又怎样？

>> 好吧，看。乔伊，来吧。想想

吧。首先，他永远不会成为

总统。我的意思是，永远不会

成为乔伊总统。

好吧，看，伙计。我不想

提起这件事，但钱德勒是我一生中听过的

最愚蠢的名字。

这甚至不是一个名字。这甚至还只是一个

个字。好的。它有点像

枝形吊灯，但事实并非如此。

好的。这是一个愚蠢的非

名字。

>> 哇。你是

你是对的。我有一个可怕的

名字。

对不起，伙计。我没有，我很抱歉。

对不起。所以，我想那就是乔伊了。我

的意思是，

>> 我对我所说的话感到抱歉。

>> 不。没有。你说得对。这是一个

荒谬的名字。

>> 没那么糟糕。

>> 是的，是的。

从现在开始，我没有名字。

>> 那么，您就是 Bing。

>> 我没有名字。

好的。那么，我们应该

给您打电话什么？

>> 好的。呃，现在，暂时，你可以

叫我

克林特。

>> 你不可能足够酷来完成

克林特。

>> 好吧，那么我可以用什么名字来

呢？

>> 嗯，吉恩。

>> 这是克林特。这是克林特。

>> 再见，吉恩。

>> 嗨，吉恩。

>> 已点击。克林特，

>> 吉恩怎么样了？

鼓声。

>> 好的。好的。好的。

帮助。我是马可还是约翰？

>> 你的身高不足以成为马克，

，但你可能会成为一个好的巴尼。

>> 好吧。看吧，我是认真的。好的。

明天 3:30，我要去

法院。

>> 你真的正在经历这个吗？

>> 嘿，看。这个名字一直阻碍着我

我的一生。好的。这可能就是

为什么孩子们在学校里欺负我，也是为什么

我从来不和女人相处得很好。因此，从明天

4:00 开始，我要么成为

马克·约翰逊，要么成为约翰·马森。

你遇到问题是因为你自己，而不是

你的名字。

这必须停止。钱德勒是一个

伟大的名字。事实上，

>> 是的，

>> 对不起。我知道你真的想让

我给孩子命名为乔伊，但是所以，我

我要给孩子命名为

钱德勒。

>> 真的吗？

>> 是的。但您也必须保留名称

。

>> 好的。谢谢。

>> 好的。

>> 你想拥抱它吗？

>> 是的。

>> 耶。

>> 嘿。

>> 耶。哦，是的。好的。我现在得去告诉

弗兰克和爱丽丝。

>> 好的。

>> 再见，二月。

>> 好的。再见。

[英语]

God, this place is so depressing. If I

had to work here, I'd kill myself.

>> You obviously haven't.

>> How can I help you?

>> Um, I need to change my name, please.

See, I need to change it cuz I'm I'm

hiding from the law.

>> You're fun.

>> Need to fill out this form.

>> Okay. Well, I just so I know. I don't

know how it works exactly. See, my name

is um Buffet and my husband's name is

Hanigan. So, is it supposed to be Buffet

Hanigan or Hanigan Buffet?

>> It can be anything you want.

>> Well, not anything.

>> Yeah, anything.

>> Oh, this could take a while.

>> Get out of my mind.

>> Okay.

>> Hey. Hey, thieves. Oh, not anymore. I

changed it today. Oh, I'm sorry, Mrs.

Hanigan.

>> Wrong again.

>> Apparently, you can change it to

anything you want. So, I thought, all

right, here's an opportunity to be

creative. So, meet Princess Consuela

Banana Hammock.

>> That's what we were going to name the

baby.

>> Phoei. Uh, Princess Consuela.

You seriously changed your name to that?

>> Uhhuh.

>> Okay. So, from now on, we have to call

you Princess Consuela.

>> Uh, no. I I'm going to have my friends

call me Valerie.

>> Hey, welcome back.

>> I missed you.

>> Oh, me too.

>> So, what's new?

>> Well, I'm no longer Phoebe Buffet.

>> That's great. You changed your name?

>> Yes, I did. Meet Princess Consuela

Banana Hammock.

>> You're kidding, right? Nope.

>> You really did that?

>> Yep.

>> You can't do that.

>> Why? Why? It's fun. It's different. No

one else has a name like it.

>> All right, then. I'm going to change my

name.

>> Great. Okay. What are you going to

change it to?

>> Crap Bag?

>> Mike? Crap Bag?

>> No. No. Mike? No. Just Just Crap Bag.

First name Crap. Last name Bag.

>> You're not serious, right? Yeah, I'm

serious. It's fun. It's different. No

one else has a name like that.

>> Mhm. Mhm.

>> Well, then great. If you love it, I love

it.

>> I do love it. And I love your name. I

love Princess Consuela.

>> And I love crap.

>> After you, Miss Banana Hammock.

>> Thank you, Mr. Bag.

>> Oh, hey. How are you?

>> Good. Oh, Rita's a massage client. Yeah.

Oh,

>> why don't you introduce me?

Rita, this is my husband.

>> Oh, yeah.

>> Why don't you tell her my name?

>> Okay, I will. This is um this is my

husband. Um crap bag.

>> Crap bag.

>> If you need an easy way to remember it,

just think of a bag of crap.

>> Okay. Excuse me.

>> Yeah.

Okay, fine. You made your point. Can you

please just be Mike Hanigan again?

>> Only if you'll be Phoebe Buffet.

>> How about um how about Buffet Hanigan?

>> Really?

>> Yeah. I'm Phoebe Buffet Hanigan. Banana

hammock.

>> Do you even know what a banana hammock

is?

>> It's a funny word.

>> It's a speedo.

>> Oh crap.

GI Joe. GI Joe.

>> Hey, I don't know what to tell you guys.

That's the doll he chose.

>> What'd you do? Dip it in sugar?

>> Look, G.I. Joe's in. Barbie's out. And

if you guys can't deal with it, that's

just you're too bad.

>> What are you being such a weenie for?

Somebody has a Barbie. Big deal. You

used to dress up like a woman.

What?

>> We used to dress up in mom's clothes all

the time.

>> What are you talking about?

>> The big hat, the pearls, the little pink

handbag.

>> Okay, you are totally making this up.

>> How can you not remember? You made us

call you be.

>> Oh god.

I've literally never been this happy.

>> Wasn't there a little song?

>> Oh, please God, let there be a song.

>> There was no song. There was no song.

>> I am.

>> Okay.

>> I drink tea.

>> Okay, that's that's enough.

>> Won't you

won't you

won't you

>> won't you dance around with me?

>> We'll take literature.

Every week, the TV guide comes to

Chandler and Joey's apartment. What name

appears on THE ADDRESS LABEL?

>> CHANDLER GETS IT. IT'S CHANDLER BING.

NO,

>> I'm afraid the TV guide comes to

Chanandler Bong.

>> I knew that. Rachel, use your head.

>> Actually, it's Miss Janandler Bond.

Hello. Yeah.

It's time for your massage. Yeah. Put

Put your face in the hole.

A Swedish massage from a real Swedish

person.

Okay, then I'm Swedish.

So, what's your name?

>> It's a normal Swedish name. IKEA.

>> Wow, what an interesting name.

>> Yeah, you know, I'm

>> Time for your scalp massage.

>> Wow, I really love your

Is something wrong?

>> No, it's just um just feels so good.

IKEA.

Oh, hey, say, you'll know this. What's

the capital of Sweden?

Um,

Stockholm.

Damn, I wish I knew if that was right.

Ross, did I ever tell you about the time

that I went backpacking through Western

Europe?

>> Hey, get ready to see some begging.

>> OH, YOU CAME ON to Ross.

>> What?

>> Now I'm so happy.

What are you talking about?

>> You use the Europe story.

>> That's the magic story you use when you

want to have sex.

>> How do you know about that story?

>> How do you know about that story?

>> I heard it from my friend Irene who

heard it from some guy.

>> Some guy?

>> No. No. She told me that his name was

Ken Adams.

Adam,

>> this woman's living my life.

>> What? She's living my life and she's

doing it better than me.

Look at this. Look. She buys tickets to

plays that I want to see. She She buys

clothes at stores that I'm intimidated

by the salespeople. She spent $300 on

art supplies.

>> You're not an artist?

>> Yeah, well, I might be if I had the

supplies.

I mean, I could do all this stuff. Only

I don't.

>> Monica, come on. You do cool things.

>> Oh, really? Okay, let's compare, shall

we?

>> Oh, it's so late for Shall we?

>> Do I go horseback riding in the park?

>> Do I take classes at the new school?

>> No.

>> No.

>> So unfair. She's got everything I want

and she doesn't have my mother.

Hey. Hey. Hi.

>> Hi. Uh, yes. This is Monica Geller. Um,

I believe I'm taking some classes with

you and I was wondering what they were.

>> What are you doing? All right. Great.

Great. Thanks a lot. I'm going to tap

class. So that you can dance with the

woman that stole your credit card. This

woman's got my life. I should get to see

who she is. Go to the post office. I'm

sure her picture's up.

>> Okay, Monica, you know what? Honey,

you're kind of losing it here. I mean,

this is really becoming like a weird

obsession thing. This is madness. It's

madness, I tell you. FOR THE LOVE OF

GOD, MONICA, DON'T DO IT.

Thank you.

It's okay. It's okay. I'm here. I'm

here. I'm sorry I'm late. Okay, here I

am. So, who's the new tense girl? She's

your partner.

>> Hi. Hi.

>> I'm Monica.

>> Oh, Monica.

No. Hi. I'm

Nana.

>> Manana.

>> It's Dutch.

>> You're kidding. I I spent three years in

Amsterdam.

>> Um, Pennsylvania Dutch.

And we're dancing a five, six, seven,

eight.

>> Where the hell have you been? Why can I

just crash an embassy party?

>> Are you drunk?

>> No.

Why? I am so drunk.

Oh, right. Monica, you know what? You

could have called. I've been up here.

I've been worried. Monica,

what are rules?

>> Yes. Yes, it does. Okay, look. The

restaurant called again today. They want

to know if you're going to be showing up

for work.

>> Nope. Going to the big apple circus

today. Okay, Monica, what are you doing?

You're going to lose your job. This is

not you.

>> No, it is me. You know, I'm not just the

person who needs to fluff the pillows

and pay the bills as soon as they come

in. You know, when I'm with her, I am so

much more than that. I'm

I'm Manana.

>> Have a good night.

>> Did that guy just call you Toby?

>> Yeah, he thinks that's my name.

Well, why don't you correct him?

>> Oh, it's been going on way too long now.

>> I mean, the first time he said it, we

were just passing each other in the

hallway, so I didn't say anything. And

then the next time he said, "Hey, Toby,

you want a donut?" And I I wanted the

donut.

And now it's 5 years later, the donut's

gone, and I'm still Toby.

>> Joey Peponyi.

>> Oh, still too ethnic. My agent thinks I

should have a name that's more neutral.

>> Joey Switzerland.

Plus, you know, I think it should be

Joe. You know, Joey makes me sound like

I'm this big, which I'm not.

Joe. Joe. Joe. Stalin.

Stalin.

Stalin. Do I know that name? That sounds

familiar. Well, it does not ring a bell

with me.

Joe Stalin.

>> You know that's pretty good.

>> You might want to try Joseph.

>> Joseph Stalin.

>> I think you'd remember that.

>> Oh yes.

Bye-bye birdie starring Joseph Stalin.

Joseph Stalin is the fiddler on the

roof.

>> You know there already is a Joseph

Stalin.

>> You're kidding.

Apparently he was this Russian dictator

who slaughtered all these people.

You'd think you would have known that.

You know, you'd think I would have.

>> Here ye here ye. Delivery from the

mattress king.

>> You, Miss Gella.

>> Okay.

>> Signed here.

>> Do I have a middle name?

>> All right. Monica Falula

Geller. It's that bedroom there.

Hey, Monica bought a bed from the

mattress king.

>> Yeah. So, please, please, please don't

say anything to Chandler.

>> You want me to lie to Chandler?

>> Is that a problem?

>> No.

>> What's this?

Isn't it cool? Room. Room.

This is not the bed I ordered. I know.

You must have won like a contest or

something,

>> baby.

Why is this car in my bedroom?

>> I'm sorry. Okay, I I wasn't looking and

the store said that they won't take it

back because you've signed for it.

>> When did I sign for it?

>> When I was you. You know what? It's all

Joey's fault cuz he left his nose open.

>> Did you make brownies today?

>> Knock knock.

>> Quick, take off your dress. He won't

notice the bed.

>> Hey, I'm going for sushi. Does anybody

want uh

Whoa, somebody missed the offramp.

>> It's Monica's bed. What?

>> Okay,

it's a race car.

>> So, this has always been Monica's bed.

Well, you're just noticing now. How

self-involved are you?

>> Okay. Well, if this bed isn't new, then

how come there's plastic on the

mattress?

Sometimes I have bad dreams.

>> Uh, may I help you?

>> Yes. Hi. I talked to you on the phone.

I'm the lady who got stuck with the race

car bed.

>> Look, it's like I told you there's

nothing I can do. You signed for it.

Monica Felula Geller.

>> All right, Chester. Man, look. We want

to see the king. Nobody sees the king.

Okay, I'm talking to the king. Hey, you

can't go back there.

>> Oh my god.

>> Hey.

>> Hey.

>> Oh, the worst day. You know, you think

you're finally making progress at work

and then your boss calls you Raquel.

>> Hey, listen. For the first four years of

my work, everybody called me Sha.

Seriously,

>> I believe you.

>> So, it was right in the middle of a

staff meeting. So, of course, no one

else wants to correct her. So, everyone

else is calling me Raquel. By the end of

the day, the mail room guys were calling

me Rocky.

>> Well, I I still think you're very, very

nice and very pretty.

>> What?

All yours, babe. Hey. Uh, where's the

other guy?

>> Which guy?

>> He's kind of tall, dark hair. The hand

looks exactly like this. See?

>> I don't know about the hands, but the

guy who was here before me just went to

the restaurant. Okay.

>> How you doing?

>> Very busy.

>> Right. Okay.

>> I won. I won. I FINALLY WON. I WON. THAT

was my quarter. All right, here. Take a

high ch.

>> Excuse me, sir. This lady played my

quarter. This is my money.

>> Is that true, miss?

>> Sells drugs to kids.

>> What?

>> She sells drugs to kids.

>> It was my quarter.

>> Was it her quarter?

>> How about we talk about this over

dinner?

>> Okay, lady. YOU'RE OUT OF HERE. NO, YOU

CAN'T ARREST ME. NO, I WON'T GO BACK. I

WON'T GO BACK TO that hell hole.

>> Just taking you outside.

>> Oh, okay.

>> Are you going to play?

>> No.

>> No, I don't really have any money.

>> Not yet. Anyway,

cancel.

>> Hello, my name is Regina Felangi.

I'm a businesswoman in town on business.

Would you like to see my card? Oh, what

did I do with my file effects? I must

have left it in conference room B.

>> 14. Hit me.

>> Oh my god. May I just say that you two

gentlemen have the exact same hands.

They're identical. Now, I've never seen

anything like that in the business

world.

>> Stop it.

>> Miss Fangi, may I ask you a question? as

an impartial person at at this table.

>> Please stop it.

>> Yeah. Wouldn't you pay good money to see

these identical hands showcased in some

type of a uh entertainment venue? Huh?

>> If you leave now, I will chop off my

hand and give it to you.

>> Didn't I just throw you out of here?

>> No, you threw out Phoebe. I'm Regina

Fangi. Fangi?

Come on, lady. Please, please take him,

too.

>> Oh, come on, man. Come on.

>> Don't Don't let him do this. Come on.

Put up your hand, twin.

>> Thank you.

>> Hello, sir. You here to return those

pants?

>> No, these are my pants.

Oh.

Okay.

How can I help you?

>> Well, um, do you have a Santa outfit

left

>> two days before Christmas? Sorry, man.

>> Okay. Look, do do you have anything uh

Christmasy? I promised my son, and I I

really don't want to disappoint him. Um,

come on. I You got to have something.

I'm the holiday armadillo.

I'm a friend of Santa's and he sent me

here to wish you a merry Christmas.

>> What happened to Santa? Holiday

armadillo.

>> Santa was unavailable. So close to

Christmas.

>> Oh, well, come in. Have a seat. You must

be exhausted coming all the way from

Texas.

Texas.

>> That's right, Ben. I'm Santa's

representative for all the southern

states

and Mexico.

But Santa sent me here to give you these

presents, Ben. Maybe the lady will help

me with these presents.

Wow. Thanks.

>> You're welcome, Ben. Merry Christmas.

And happy Hanukkah.

>> Are you for Hanukkah, too? Because I'm

part Jewish.

>> You are? Me, too.

Because armadillos also wandered in the

desert.

>> Oh. Oh, excuse me, ma'am. Yes. You can't

put your cigarette out on a tree.

>> Yeah, I can. It worked real well.

>> But you shouldn't. So, don't ever do

that again.

>> I won't till I have my next cigarette.

>> Called it NYPD freeze punk.

>> What?

That's right. You are so busted.

Uh, book them.

>> Who are you talking to?

>> Save it, Red.

Unless you want to spend the night in

the slammer, you apologize to the tree.

>> I am not going to apologize to a tree.

>> You apologize to the tree right now or I

am calling for backup.

BACKUP. BACKUP.

>> I'M I'M SORRY. SORRY.

>> OKAY. CANCEL. BACKUP. CANCEL. BACKUP.

May I help you?

>> Yeah, I'm a friend of Rachel Greens.

>> Oh, right. Uh, Dawn.

>> Close. Ron.

Well,

>> uh, what can I do for you?

>> Um, well, I'm here to see if if, uh,

you'll give Rachel her job back.

>> Ah, did she, uh, ask you to come here

and do this?

>> Oh, no. First, I have to get you to

agree. Then, we'll see if she wants to

come back.

>> Wow, that is tempting.

Look, she loved her job here. And let's

face it, you're not going to find anyone

who did it as well as she did. Isn't

that true?

>> She is good.

>> Oh, I took a shot there.

>> This your son?

>> Yeah. His name is Ross.

>> What?

>> Uh, nothing. It's just it's uh it's

close to Ron.

>> Hey, is this true that you write a lot

of your own lines? Uh, well, kind of.

Yeah.

>> Like remember last week when Alex was in

the accident? Well, the line in the

script was, "If we don't get this woman

to a hospital, she's going to die." But

I made it. If this woman doesn't get to

a hospital, she's not going to live.

>> Oh, okay. I see what you did there.

>> Aren't you afraid though that the

writers are going to be kind of mad when

they read this? Huh?

Never really thought about the writers.

The scripts just kind of come to my

house.

>> But you know what? This makes me look

good, which makes the show look good,

which makes the writers look good. So,

how could they be mad about that?

>> Makes up most of his lines. Son of a

Yeah, write this jerkwaited.

>> I fall down an elevator shaft. What the

hell does this mean? I fall down an

elevator shaft.

>> Uh, I don't know. I just bring the

scripts.

>> They can't kill me. I'm Francesca's

longlost son.

>> Right.

Amber,

I want you to know that I'll always be

there for you as a friend and as your

brother.

>> Oh, Drake.

>> Are they? Huh? Where's the medical

award?

>> Yeah. Some guys are just lucky, I guess.

>> Dr. Ramore, report to first floor

emergency staff.

>> Well, then uh

uh guess that's me.

Anyone else need to go in the elevator?

Dr. Wong. Dr. Wong. No, no,

>> they only said you.

>> Um, okay.

All right.

>> I love you, Drake. Yeah, whatever.

>> Drake, look out.

>> Did they just kill off Joey?

>> No.

>> No. Maybe.

>> Hey, Mom.

>> Mom, get out of here.

>> Monica.

>> Okay. Okay. You have to help us decide

whose joke this is.

>> Why do I have to decide?

>> Because you're the only one that can be

fair.

>> I can't be fair. You're my boyfriend.

>> Yeah. Yeah. But I'm your brother. We're

family. That's the most important thing

in the world.

>> Don't try to sway her.

>> I'm your only chance to have a baby.

>> Okay, let's go. All right. Um Okay,

we'll we'll each tell you um how we came

up with the joke and then you decide

which one of us is telling the truth.

Me.

>> Chandler, you go first.

>> Okay. I thought of a joke two months ago

at lunch with Steve.

>> Oh, wait. Is he the guy that I met at

Christmas?

>> Can I finish my story?

>> Do you want me to pick you?

>> See, I would never snap at you like

that.

>> Continue.

>> Okay. So, Steve said he had to go to the

doctor and Steve's doctor's name is Dr.

Mumpy. So, I said Dr. Monkey. And that

is how the whole Dr. Monkey thing came

up.

>> Are you kidding?

Okay, look. I I study evolution.

Remember evolution? Monkey into man.

Plus, I'm a doctor. And I had a monkey.

I'm Dr. MONKEY.

>> I'm not arguing with that. All right, I

have heard enough. I have made my

decision.

>> Okay, let me tell

>> you are both idiots.

>> The joke is not funny and it's offensive

to women and doctors and monkeys.

You shouldn't be arguing over who gets

credit. You should be arguing over who

gets blamed for inflicting this horrible

joke upon the world. Now let it go. The

joke sucks.

It's your joke.

>> It's not.

>> How about a compromise then? Okay. What

if it's, you know, Chenoi?

>> Okay, look. Joey, come on. Think about

it. First of all, he'll never be

president. I mean, there's never going

to be a President Joey.

All right, look, man. I don't want to

bring this up, but Chandler is the

stupidest name I ever heard in my life.

It's not even a name. It's barely even a

word. Okay. It's kind of like

chandelier, but it's not.

All right. It's a stupid stupid non

name.

>> Wow. You're

You're right. I have a horrible horrible

name.

I'm sorry, man. I didn't I'm I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. So, I guess it's Joey then. I

mean,

>> I am sorry about what I said.

>> Nope. Nope. You're right. It is a

ridiculous name.

>> It's not that bad.

>> Yes, it is.

From now on, I have no first name.

>> So, you're just Bing.

>> I have no name.

All right. So, what are we supposed to

call you?

>> Okay. Uh, for now, temporarily, you can

call me

Clint.

>> No way are you cool enough to pull off

Clint.

>> Okay, so what name am I cool enough to

pull off?

>> Um, Jean.

>> It's Clint. It's Clint.

>> See you later, Jean.

>> Hi, Jean.

>> It's clicked. Clint,

>> what's up with Jean?

Drum roll.

>> Okay. Okay. All right.

Help. Am I a Mark or a John?

>> You're not tall enough to be a Mark,

but you might make a good Barney.

>> All right. Look, I am serious. Okay.

Tomorrow at 3:30, I'm going down to the

courthouse.

>> You're actually going through with this?

>> Hey, look. This name has been holding me

back my entire life. Okay. It's probably

why kids picked on me in school and why

I never do well with women. So, as of

4:00 tomorrow, I'm either going to be

Mark Johnson or John Marson.

You've got problems because of you, not

your name.

This has got to stop. Chandler is a

great name. In fact,

>> yes,

>> I'm I'm sorry. I know you really wanted

me to name the baby Joey, but So, I'm

I'm going to I'm going to name the baby

Chandler.

>> Really?

>> Yeah. But you have to keep the name,

too.

>> Okay. Thanks.

>> Okay.

>> You want to hug it out?

>> Yeah.

>> Yay.

>> Hey.

>> Yay. Oh, yay. Okay. I got to go tell

Frank and Alice right now.

>> Okay.

>> Bye, Febs.

>> Okay. BYE.

重点词汇

词汇	含义
depressing dɪˈprɛsɪŋ B1	adjective - 令人感到悲伤和绝望的
kill kɪl A1	verb - 杀死
fun fʌn A1	noun - 乐趣
thieves θiːvz A2	noun - 小偷
creative kriˈeɪtɪv B1	adjective - 创造性的
opportunity ˌɒpərˈtjuːnɪti B1	noun - 机会
different ˈdɪfərənt A1	adjective - 不同的
speedo ˈspiːdoʊ B1	noun - 男士泳裤
obsession əbˈseʃən B2	noun - 执念
madness ˈmædnəs B1	noun - 疯狂
circus ˈsɜːrkəs A2	noun - 马戏团
neutral ˈnjuːtrəl B1	adjective - 中立的
ethnic ˈɛθnɪk B1	adjective - 民族的
dictator ˈdɪktətər B1	noun - 独裁者
slaughtered ˈslɔːtʃərd B2	verb - 屠杀

重点语法结构

• God, this place is so depressing. If I had to work here, I'd kill myself.

  ➔ 第一类条件句

  ➔ 这句话使用 'If I had to work here, I'd kill myself.' 来表达一个假设情况的可能结果。

• You're fun.

  ➔ 现在时表示永久性特质

  ➔ 'You're fun.' 使用现在时来描述一个永久性特质。

• Need to fill out this form.

  ➔ 情态动词 'need' 表示必要性

  ➔ 'Need to fill out this form.' 使用情态动词 'need' 表示必要性。

• It can be anything you want.

  ➔ 情态动词 'can' 表示能力

  ➔ 'It can be anything you want.' 使用 'can' 表示可能性或能力。

• You seriously changed your name to that?

  ➔ 强调副词 'seriously'

  ➔ 'You seriously changed your name to that?' 使用 'seriously' 强调惊讶或不相信。

• After you, Miss Banana Hammock.

  ➔ 礼貌表达 'After you'

  ➔ 'After you, Miss Banana Hammock.' 是一种礼貌的表达方式，邀请某人先走。

• I'm no longer Phoebe Buffet.

  ➔ 现在时与 'no longer' 表示变化

  ➔ 'I'm no longer Phoebe Buffet.' 使用 'no longer' 表示永久性变化。

• You can't do that.

  ➔ 情态动词 'can't' 表示禁止

  ➔ 'You can't do that.' 使用 'can't' 表示禁止或不能。