– 英语/中文 双语歌词

歌词与翻译

[中文]

大家好，我想为瑞秋和乔伊祝酒

。

>> 哦，

还有爱。

[笑声]

啊，爱。

[笑声]

爱。爱。

L 代表生命。没有

爱的生活是什么？

>> 天哪。我们应该回答吗？

O

代表

哦，哇。

[笑声]

V 代表这个非常令人惊讶的转折

事件，

我仍然对此感到满意。顺便说一句，

E

[笑声]

是因为

我觉得非常正常[笑声]

你们两个

在一起

并且有一天你们可能会结婚

并拥有自己的孩子。

伙计，你还好吗？

>> 完全可以。

[笑声]

>> 罗斯，你看起来不太好。

>> 对不起。一定是

娱乐的压力。

>> [笑声]

>> 猜猜是谁？

>> 呃，卫生部门。 [笑声]

>> 是我。

>>哦。

哦，[笑声]

>>什么？

>> 哦，

[笑声]

>> [笑声]

>> 这是我的 这是我的仓鼠。是米蒂。

>> 天哪。我很抱歉，Sh。我一定

吓坏了。

>> 哦，感谢上帝，这不是 Mitsy。

>> 这只是一只老鼠。 [笑声]

>> 不，只是有点突然。不，

太棒了。好的，我完全同意。

我也爱你。好的。再见。

>> 罗斯，怎么了？

>> 什么也没有。不。哦，呃，实际上，

好消息。嗯，刚刚和

艾米丽通完电话，看来我要搬到

新公寓了。 [笑声] 呜呼。

>> 为什么？

>> 嗯，我同意，她的想法是新鲜的

新家具。为什么不买一套全新的

公寓呢？她的表弟有这个很棒的

地方可以转租。一侧可以看到

河流，另一侧可以看到哥伦比亚。

...

>> 那是进城的路。这就像三趟

火车的路程，这太棒了。

>> 我喜欢乘坐那条铁路。 [笑声]

>> 那么，你真的同意这个吗？

>> 是的。是的。我的意思是，距离工作有点远

，但是呃你知道，我会在通勤途中完成

很多事情。我

被赐予了时间的礼物。 [笑声] 你

知道，这太有趣了，因为去年圣诞节我

得到了太空礼物。

我们应该将它们聚集在一起并形成一个

连续体。

>> 哦不，我的新保罗鞋。

>> 哦，我希望它们没有被毁掉。

你

>>好吗？

>> 天哪，真是美好的一天。

>> 天气怎么样？

[笑声]

我认识你，空气，树木，

[哼哼]即使娜娜走了，

有一些东西几乎呃我

不知道，几乎是生活。

>> 我很好。我很好。

>> 我刚刚意识到我最担心的事情

。但是

>>嗨。

嗨。

>> 怎么了，伙计？

>> 工作中有人吃了我的三明治。

>> [笑声]

>> 那么，警察说什么了？

>> 我的感恩节剩下的三明治。我

不敢相信有人刚刚吃了它。

>> 罗斯，这只是一个三明治。只是一个

三明治。你看，我已经30岁了，好吗？

我将离婚两次，而我

刚刚被驱逐。那三明治是我一生中

唯一的好事。

有人吃了我生命中唯一的好东西

。 [笑声]

好吧，看，我的东西足够

多吃一份三明治了。我的意思是，我

自己要吃它，但是

那太不可思议了。非常感谢

。我我我我还是不敢相信

有人吃了它。

我的意思是，看，我我留下了一张纸条和

所有内容。

敲-k 敲。谁在那里？罗斯

盖勒的午餐。

罗斯·盖勒的午餐。 WHO？罗斯克勒的

午餐。请不要带我。好的。

[笑声]

>> 我很惊讶你没有带着

午餐回家。

>> 好的。看，你想保留你的

食物吗？你得把人吓跑。我

了解到住在街上。

>> 真的吗？那么，你会说什么，

费用？比如，呃，别把你的手套

碰上我的食物。

>> 罗斯，你说，当你想象菲比

住在街上时，她是否

被安妮的全体演员包围着？

好吧，这会让他远离你的

东西。

>> 嗯，罗斯，

>> 我可以和你说句话吗？

>> 哦，当然，唐纳德。

>> 我们收到了一些关于您

非常愤怒的行为的报告。

>> 什么？

>> 威胁信，拒绝在

期限内完成。

显然，人们现在称你为“神经病”。

是的，

>> 我们希望您与精神科医生交谈。

>> 哦，不。你你不明白。呃，

这太傻了。嗯，这一切都只是

因为一个三明治。

三明治？

>> 是的。你看，我姐姐做了这些

很棒的火鸡三明治。她的秘密是

她在中间多放了一片肉汁

浸过的面包。我称其为

保湿机。 [笑声]

不管怎样，我把三明治放进了这里的

冰箱里，哦。哦，你知道

什么吗？我对不起。我我我相信我吃了

那个。

[笑声]

>> 你吃了我的三明治。这是一个简单的

错误。这可能发生在任何人身上。

>> 哦，真的吗？

你是否将它与你自己用湿机制作的火鸡

三明治混淆了？

否。

>> 您是否记得在

顶部看到过一条注释？

>> 可能有一个笑话或某种语言

...

>> 说这是我的三明治。

>> 现在，冷静一下。来我的

办公室看看吧。其中一些可能仍在

垃圾箱中。

[笑声]

>> 什么？

嗯，它相当大。我我我我不得不

扔掉大部分。

>> 你你你你把我的三明治扔掉了。

我的三明治。我的

>> 现在几点了？

>> 1

>> 7:15。

>> 手表不工作。

>> 汤米应该很快就到了。我们

去吃午饭。

[笑声]

>> 看。看。我本来不想说

给你什么都可以，但是没关系。我

认为你不应该再见到汤米

。

>> 你不知道吗？

>> 不，这家伙很卑鄙。我的意思是，真的是

的意思。我认为你应该远离

他。

>> H。或者也许我应该远离所有

男人。

>> 不，这不仅仅是因为我嫉妒。

我的意思是，我不嫉妒。

好的。是的，看，那个家伙，他尖叫道。

他实际上对坐在我们座位上的这对夫妇

尖叫。

>> 是的。在比赛结束时，他

站了起来，你知道，他开始

双手敲击在一起。

>>哦。呃，有人知道

弗里曼大楼在哪里吗？

>> 是的，这是大道上的新建筑。

>> 什么？那就是穿过

镇的所有路。我应该在 10 分钟内在那里教授研究生

研讨会。

>> 哦，伙计。那不会发生。

>> 是的。移动它。移动它。移动它。嘿，

我是老师。

[笑声]

你好。 [喘气]

抱歉我来晚了一点。呃，哇，迟到了

。

好吧，首先让我介绍一下

我自己。我是呃盖勒教授。

所以，总而言之，

我是盖勒教授。今天干得好。

>> 天啊，这些书页粘在一起了，

钱德勒。

>> 天啊。她她做了半个英国

小蛋糕和

半个牧羊人馅饼。

>> 好的。现在，那到底是怎么回事？难道

味道不好吗？让我试试

这个。

>> 号号

全部完成。 [笑声]

太好了。

也许钱德勒还剩下一些。 [笑声]

尝起来像脚。

>> 那么，来吧。解释一下你自己。盖勒。

首先，你让我的瑞秋怀孕了。

>> 你让瑞秋怀孕了？

>> 谁干的？

>> 你做到了吗？

>> 是的。

>> 是的。是的，我做到了。但是，但这只是

一晚的事情。这意味着

没有任何意义。

>> 哦，真的吗？这就是我女儿

对您的意义？没有什么？

>> 不，不，先生。嗯，她对我来说意义重大。

我的意思是，我在乎。我我爱雷切尔。什么？

哦，但不是那样。我的意思是，

[笑声]

我的意思是，我不爱她。我像朋友一样爱

她。

>> 哦，真的吗？这就是你对待

朋友的方式？你让她陷入麻烦然后

你拒绝娶她？

>> 嘿，我提出要娶她。但我

不想这么做。 [笑声]

>> 那么，为什么不呢？所以你可以花你的

时间来处理这个

...

>> 对不起，格林博士。莫娜。莫娜。

格林博士。

>> 你怎么能对

我隐瞒这一切？我

>> 我本来想告诉你，但是什么？你

认为你得到了你想要的，然后

你像对待瑞秋一样抛弃了她。

>> 嘿，我没有甩掉瑞秋，我们

也没有在一起。

>>哦。嗯，

我可以

为什么我们不让机器得到

呢？

>> 嘿，罗斯，我是乔伊。这里有一个妓女

，我们想也许你会

了解一些。 [笑声]

>> 不，不，不，不，不。我我我需要

躺下

>> 才能先走。

>> 好的。

>> 好的。 [鼓掌]

>> 欢迎来到美国。

>> 好吧。

>> 天哪。连续两个。你现在必须使用

你的舌头。

>> [笑声]

>> 几率有多大？几率有多大？

>> 好的，够了。你知道，让

让其他人玩吧。

[笑声]

>> 如果你不想玩，那你为什么

来参加聚会？

>> 嘿，有人订了一件外套。

>> 罗斯，钱德勒在他的计算机上写了一些关于我的信息

，但他不让我

看到。

>> 他不会。他不会。

因为这不是你正在写的

短篇小说吗？

>> 是的。是的，这就是我

正在写的短篇故事。

>> 等一下，让我读一下。

>> 不。

>> 来吧。

>> 嘿，呃，你为什么不读给她听呢？

[笑声]

好吧。

那是夏天

，天气很热。

雷切尔在那里。

[笑声]

一张孤独的灰色沙发。

哦，看，内德喊道。 [笑声]

然后王国就永远属于他了。

结束。

[鼓掌]

就是这样。这就是你写的全部。你是

全世界最差的作家。

>> 好的。好的。你知道吗？

这不再有趣了。那张

信息，我想看看。

纸上有关于我的

>> 不，你不需要。

>> 好的。你知道吗？美好的。如果你们

想在这件事上像孩子一样，

那没问题。我不需要

去。

>> 这是什么？

>> 那是

>> 罗斯。这是什么？

>> 谢谢。祝你好运。

>> 好吧，只要记住我对你有多疯狂

即可。好的。

>> 有点傻。

太喜欢她的外表了。

被宠坏了。

>> 现在有点被破坏了。他

应该很​​少打字，你这个白痴。

[笑声]

>> 只是一名女服务员。

>> 现在那是呃，我的意思是相对于

到呃呃好吧。这已经结束了吗？

拉。

>> 我没有胖脚踝。

>> 不，我

>> 对不起。嗯，

酒吧里有女士在等吗？嗯，

某个中等身高、深色头发的人，或者

可能在玩拼图？

>> 呃，有一个喝醉了的中国人。

>> 好吧，如果我一小时后还在这儿，请

给他喝一杯。

>> 我可以再给你一杯酒吗？

>> 我不知道是否应该这样做。我不想让

独自回家时喝醉。

>> 站起来了，嗯？呃，没什么大不了的。

这只是一次相亲而已。

>> 你是否担心你的约会对象来了，看到你，

然后离开了？ [笑声]

>> 哇哦。

>>嗨。呃，我是罗斯。我不，我不

相信我们见过面。我是莫妮卡的

哥哥。

>> 哦，嗨。我是莫娜，来自她的

餐厅。

>> 哦，

你好。呃，莫娜在她的餐厅。

[哼哼]

[笑声]

莫娜。哇。多么美丽的名字啊。

>> 你也这么认为吗？我一直有点讨厌它。

>> 哦，来吧。蒙娜丽莎。

>> 啊？莫娜。嗯，

Klelaken，

著名的植物学家。啊？哦，不。她

呃好吧，她现在死了，但是[笑声]

不。据说，她曾经是植物界的

辣妹。

>> 真的吗？

>> 嗯，你看，我从来不知道她。

>> 琳达·克拉肯。

[笑声]

>> 那么，呃，你在哪张桌子？

>> 哦，我也是。

>> 好。现在，会有人

喜欢我的名字。

>> 是的，会有的。

哦，你猜怎么着，莫莉·吉尔伯特？您刚刚

被提升到第一张桌子。如果

您同意的话，我将

代替您坐在六号桌。马丁

克伦。

[鼓掌]

[笑声]

嘿。呃，我以为你在

六号桌。

>> 呃，不，九。

>> 哦，看，在你呃之前，当你向我展示

时，你就这样拿着它，

呃[笑声]

这是误导性的。

好吧，

>> 你好

又是椅子。好吧，我不会

这样做。看起来，我不知道你知道

什么吗？就是这样。我无法做出这个

决定。太难了。所以，我

就把它完全交给

命运之神。

>> 神奇的八球。哦，你不可能

是认真的。你不能用玩具做出这个决定

。

>> 哦，这不是玩具。

好吧，我不知道还能做什么。我

的意思是，我要么保留我的妻子，但失去一个#​​{46}最好的朋友，要么保留我的

...

朋友，并在30岁之前第二次离婚

。所以，如果其他人

有更好的建议，让我们听听

，因为我什么也没有。好吧，

别害羞。任何建议都可以。

>> [笑声]

>> 好吧。

开始吧。

神奇八球。我应该再也见不到

瑞秋了吗？

稍后再询问。

[笑声] 后来还不够好。

[笑声]

稍后再问。

>> 到底是什么？这已破了。

坏了。

>> 你好。

>> 你好。罗斯在吗？

>> 呃，不，他不是。我可以留言吗？

>> 是的。这是拉塞尔。罗斯的离婚

律师。只要告诉他，由于我

没有收到他的消息，我想他

决定尝试一下婚姻。

>> 罗斯又结婚了？不。[笑声]

>> 好吧，继续。我们正在逐步淘汰

重音。逐步淘汰它。

因此，如果不在

实验室中重新测试他们的结果，

团队将永远不会发现

[笑声]

碳

测年分析中的最初错误。

[笑声]

此时还有什么问题吗？

>> 是的。

>> 你的口音出了什么问题？

再来吧。这是什么废话？

[笑声]

好吧。我不是英国人。

我来自长岛。

我真的很紧张，口音刚刚

嗯就出来了。 [笑声]

对不起。

那么，我们能否回到

讲座。

嗯，

有关于古生物学的问题吗

[笑]

？

好吧。听着，我只是想

给人留下良好的第一印象。显然，

我搞砸了，但是你们对我的看法

非常重要，因为我

希望在这里找到一份长期工作。所以，

如果你再给我一次机会

给我留下好印象。

>> 罗斯，你疯了吗？我仍然是你的妻子

或者你只是永远不会告诉我？

你到底出了什么问题？

我可以杀了你。 [笑声]

[鼓掌]

>> 好吧，瑞秋，

[笑声]

>> 这家伙打招呼。哦，我想亲自杀死

。

>> 亲爱的，你还好吗？

>> 我只是感觉有人把手伸进我的

喉咙，抓住我的小肠，

把它从我嘴里拉出来，然后绑起来

挂在我的脖子上。 Cookie，

>> 卡罗尔今天把她的东西搬走了。

>> 我给你倒杯咖啡。

>> 谢谢。

>> 不，哦，不。不，不要停止净化我的

光环。 [笑声]

>> 不，别管我的光环。好的，

我会没事的。好的。真的吗，

大家？我希望她会很幸福。

>> 不，你不知道。

>> 不，我不。让她见鬼去吧。她离开了我

。

>> 你永远不知道她是女同性恋。

[笑声]

>> 不，好的。

为什么每个人都一直关注这一点？

[笑声]

她不知道。我怎么知道？

瞧，呃，

我知道你为什么来这里。

>> 你知道吗？

>> 是的。为了让您免于

尴尬，嗯，我想也许我

应该先说话。

>> 好的。

>> 好的。

罗斯和雷切尔。

雷切尔和罗斯，

这真是一个跷跷板，

不是吗？

>> 什么？

>> 我的意思是，你看，我们度过的那一晚

很有趣，而且当然充满激情，

但你不觉得

我们只是做朋友更好吗？

>> 说真的，什么？

>> 好的。好的。你知道吗？如果您想要

，

我们可以再做一次。

我的意思是，我对此没意见。事实上

，我现在有一些时间。

>> 好的。你知道吗？我现在可以谈谈

吗？

>> 哦，当然。

>> 好的。

我怀孕了。

罗斯。

[笑声]

罗斯。

好的。每当你准备好时。

[掌声]

[笑声]

顺便说一句，你是父亲。你

走吧。

>> 我可以给你拿点水吗？

>> 我[清喉咙]很好。我很好。

>> 罗斯，你没有压力。好的。

我的意思是，您可以随心所欲地参与

。

>> 是的。我呃我只是我不知道。我

不明白

嗯这是怎么发生的。啊？

>> 我们我们使用了安全套。

>> 我知道。我知道。但你知道，安全套

仅在 97% 的情况下有效。

>> 什么？什么？

[笑声]

>> 什么？

好吧，他们应该把它放在盒子上。

[笑声]

>> 他们确实如此。

>> 不，他们没有。

>> [掌声]

>> 好吧，他们应该把它放在大块

个字母中。

>> 好的，罗斯，来吧。让我们忘记

关于安全套的事情吧。

>> 哦，好吧，我也可以。

>> 听着，你知道吗？当我

吓坏了。

>> 嘿，我没有吓坏时，我也真的

作为消费者我感到愤慨。

[笑声]

>> 你知道吗？我们稍后再说吧。

>> 不，不。我现在想说话。好的。事实上，我

想与安全套公司的总裁

交谈。

>> 好的。你知道吗？也许我应该

回来。

>> 嘘。

>> 是的。我就按一键我们从

这些化石的 MRI 扫描和 DNA 测试

中收到的数据令人震惊。

嗯。

>> 我的意思是，我们一直接受 Leaky 的

日期作为给定的。但如果它们偏离

甚至10万年左右，那么你

可以直接将我们的大部分

假设扔进

垃圾桶。

所以，我想说的是

[笑声]

是呃赔偿

可能会很大。我的意思是，不仅在古生物学中的

，而且如果你考虑一下

，在进化生物学中，呃，

遗传学，呃，地质学，我的意思是，真的，

令人难以置信。

>> 好吧，这不是你想要的。

>> 你好，

>> 乔伊。嘿，我需要和查理谈谈。

她在吗？不，她呃她和 Rachel 一起去购物

。为什么？这是怎么回事？

>> 嗯，我正在与 Sherman 教授会面

，讨论我作为主旨演讲人的事宜。

>> 哦，怎么样？

>> 还可以更好。

>> 他嗯他睡着了。

>> 什么？但我已经买了去

百慕大、

>> 巴巴多斯的机票。好吧，我会租一辆车并

开车。

[笑声]

罗斯，你必须得到那份工作。

>> 我该怎么办？他很冷。在

事实上，他之前只是在

睡梦中说话，显然他希望

一个叫弗兰的人更用力地打他屁股。

>> 好吧，叫醒他吧。

>> 我不能。如果他意识到是我

让他睡着了，我就不会得到

的工作。

>> 哦，这很难。

>> 哦，等一下。这之前

发生在我身上。是的，我正在试镜

戏剧，制片人睡着了。我

不，等一下。是我

睡着了。

>> 是的。我的意思是，

>> 嘿，莎士比亚，偶尔来一场追逐

的场景怎么样？

>> [笑声]

[笑声]

[欢呼]

>> 天哪。您真的希望我成为

主题演讲者吗？

谢谢。

>> 雷切尔现在应该回来了。

是的，但她的飞机在

雅典延误了。但实际上，她现在应该已经在这里

了。

>> 哦，原来你和她谈过了。她

她听起来很生气吗？

>> 不，但她喜欢我。 [笑声]

>> 你把她遗弃在飞往希腊的飞机上。

>> 好的。我没有抛弃雷切尔。好的。

艾米丽出现在机场。我不得不

去追她。我的意思是，我做了我

要做的事情。她是我的妻子。雷切尔是我的妻子。

你知道，艾米丽[欢呼]

艾米丽是我的妻子。

老兄，那是什么？

>> 那么，你还没有艾米丽的消息吗？

>> 不，自从我在机场失去她后就没有了。

>> 我不敢相信她能跑得过你，伙计。

>> 嘿，她很快。好吧，

>> 你认为你能打败我吗？我们去

外面吧。

[笑声]

>> 嗨，瑞秋。

>> 丰富。 RA，我很抱歉。我非常非常

抱歉。

>> 哦，罗斯，来吧。你刚刚做了

必须做的事情。

>> 好吧，就是这样。你没有生气。我的意思是，

这一定很糟糕。

>> 可怕吗？天哪，我在希腊。我住的是

不错的酒店，漂亮的海滩，遇到了

的好人。对于雷切尔来说，这并不算太寒酸。

>> 那么，什么？就是这样？

>> 哦，是的。我们很酷。完全酷。

>> 谢谢。正确的。你是最棒的。哦不，

你是最棒的。 [笑声]

>> 哦，我要去花店。

看看吧。没有人会告诉我

艾米丽在哪里，所以我要送 72 朵长

茎红玫瑰到她父母家。

代表我认识并

爱她的每一天。这应该会让她再次和我说话

。

>> 哦，罗斯，当你拿出卡片时，

一定要交给艾米丽。

[笑声]

我知道这是我们的周年纪念日，但我在电话中告诉

你我没有时间

停下来。

>> 好吧，你不必停下来。我是

隐形的。我不在这里。

>> 是的，但我不知道。

谁批准了该订单？好吧，这个办公室里没有

马克·罗宾逊。给我打电话

马克。

>> 我爱马克。你认识马克吗？

>> 是的。

>> 好吧，让我检查一下我这里有什么

。好的。请注意，038 是

，而不是此分数的数字。 038 是

亚特兰大。

胡椒。

>> 对我来说没有。

>> 对不起。正如我所说，商店

号码是错误的，我很抱歉，但是

天哪。

[笑声]

>> 好的。

>> 哦，是的。哦，是的。

>> 对不起。对不起。我会让

给您回电。我的

办公室里有 Shmp。

>> [笑声]

>> 你在做什么？

>> 抱歉，但是嘿。哦，有人

挂断电话了。在火边喝杯

葡萄酒怎么样？如果

你

你在做什么？我呃重新整理了

冰箱。看？呃，底层货架肉类和

乳制品，中层货架，水果和

蔬菜，

和顶层货架过期产品。

>> [笑声]

>> 你为什么要这样做？

>> 因为我很无聊。从我的脑海中消失了。我已经

去过银行、

邮局和干洗店。

>> 老兄，你刚刚描述了 7 天的

内容。 [笑声]

你必须把它分散一点。你

知道吗，你没有失业过吗？

>> 嘿，我没有失业。我正在

讽刺。

>> 嘿，别对我抱有宗教信仰，好吗？

[笑声]

处于你这个位置的人需要在放松方面做得更好一点，你知道。

...

什么？您认为我们为什么拥有

张舒适的椅子？啊？看，来这里

。坐下。准备好？

观看。

然后

>>那又怎样？我们只是坐着。哦，不。不。我们

不会只是坐着。手表。

>> 你好，钱德勒·宾。

>> 你好，冰先生。

我爱你。

>> 好吧，不管这是谁，别再给我打电话

了。 [笑声]

已经过去 6 个月了。这不好笑。

>> 我有很多工作要做。罗斯，

是个好人，主动提出帮助我

。然后我们喝了一点酒。我们

开始交谈，接下来你知道的，

罗斯突然向我走来。

[笑声]

>> 就是这样，有点误导。

>>

>> 你刚才说的谎言是什么[笑声]

>> 你来找我？

>> 就是这个。

>> 但你做到了。说实话。

>> 是的。什么？

你知道吗？呃，这并不

重要。重要的是

我们要生孩子了，

谁生下谁并不重要。

>> 谁。

>> 没错。

>> 你知道，是你先吻了我。

>> 什么？什么？你求我吻

你。你你在整个地方

向我发送信号。

>> 我正在向你发送信号。哦，拜托。

好的。这个房间里有人认为我

实际上会向罗斯发送乞求

信号吗？请举手。

[笑声]

>> 你知道，这并不重要。

人们相信什么并不重要。重要的是

发生了什么。

>> 好的。好吧，罗斯，这些信号

向我解释了这一点，因为也许我需要

更加小心。我是说，我要发送吗

你现在有这些信号吗？

>> 你知道吗？你知道吗，雷切尔？

扔掉它即可。

>> 不，请告诉我我是如何求你的。

>> 我可以告诉你。我有录像带。

[笑声]

这是一个表达式。

[笑声]

>> 我们要聊什么？你们昨晚做了什么

或者

什么？昨晚发生了什么？没有什么。

昨晚什么都没发生。

>> 嗯嗯。罗斯邀请我们大家一起观看。

Ra，我们不会错过我们的朋友

结婚的。

>> 谁结婚了？

[笑声]

>> 你做到了？

>> 什么？

>> 你好。我们没有结婚。 [笑声]

>> 结婚了？这太荒谬了。

[欢呼]

>> 等等，等等，等等，等等。我记得

在一座教堂里。等等，当我们

让我们结婚。

喝醉的时候，他们他们不会

你喝醉了他们就会让你结婚。大多数在维加斯

结婚的人都喝醉了。

>> 现在我醉了。

>> 我早餐不能吃含羞草。

我正在度假。

>> 你们打算做什么？哦，我

想我们只是找到了一位离婚律师。

>> 好吧，我想罗斯已经有了

一个。

>> 现在，这个是免费的，对吧？由于您

支付了前两个的费用，因此您可以免费获得

第三个。

笑吧。但这是在跟你开玩笑

，因为我们不需要离婚。

好的。我们我们只是要获得

废止。废除？罗斯.我不

认为手术是解决问题的办法。

[笑声]

>> 哦。哦，那是你的事。

>> 什么？

>> 你就是那个东西。你知道你是

那个离婚的人。

>> 那不是我的事。

我不喜欢离婚。

>> 是的，你知道。这是你们第三次离婚。

天啊，你这么喜欢离婚，我

可能会结婚，然后

那就不行了。所以，你要去

不得不离婚。离婚的家伙。

[笑声]

>> [尖叫]

[笑声]

>> 电视吵醒你了吗？

>> 不。当你把脚放在我的床上时，

你拉动了我的导尿管。 [笑声]

Ouchie。

[笑声]

>> 你在这里做什么，吉勒？

>> 好吧，我和瑞秋一起来，她随时都会

回来。

>> 那么，有哪些新内容？

>> 哦，我有点心脏病。

>> 等等。是否痛苦？

>> 什么？心脏病发作就坐在这里

跟你说话。 [笑声]

>> 让我们看看能否让 Rachel 回到这里

。那么，女孩，你有什么新鲜事吗？

最近又吵醒了我的女儿

吗？没有。就那一个。正确的。

>> 你这周是星期几？

>> 哦，很好。实际上是

婴儿开始踢。

>> 多么令人兴奋。

>> 是的，我知道。哦，太棒了。

唯一悲伤的是当

它第一次发生时我不在场。

>> 哦，不。

>> 是的，我知道。我也错过了

所有其他东西。所以，乔伊

建议瑞秋搬来和我一起住。

>> 是的，[笑声]对。

>> 什么？

>> 乔伊让我笑了。就像，是的，为什么

你不让你的前妻搬来和

你一起住？那就一点也不尴尬了。

嘿，你能想象吗？我离开

几天。我回来后发现我的男朋友

正在和某个女人住在一起。他

怀孕了。 [笑声]

>> 那么，你告诉他什么了？

>> 你是什么？你好。

>>嗨。 [笑声]

>> 你在这里做什么？我

应该去接你。

>> 计划改变。我为你做了一顿特别的

情人节晚餐。惊喜。

>> 哦，嘿，莫娜。你好。你好。嗨，雷切尔。

她在这里做什么？

>> 我不知道。 [笑声]

>> 嗯，如果有人需要

我，我会看电视。

>> 说真的，她在做什么？

>> 呃，你知道，最近她只是喜欢

在这里闲逛。 [笑声]

>> 为什么？

>> 我认为她很孤独。

好吧，但今天是情人节。我们不能

请她走吗？

>> 嗯，不。不，她太情绪化了。

说到情感，我的意思是，

[笑声]

>> 我不在这里。这就是我的中国

食物。

>> 天哪。她这里有外卖。

>> 是的，她很情绪化，但

很勇敢。

>> 你知道我要做什么吗？我要

出汗，在床上吃这个。

>> 而你以为她会妨碍我们

。 [笑声]

>> 那么，好吧，你为什么不打开

香槟，我马上就回来。我

给你准备了一个惊喜。

>> 你那边还有另一个前妻。

>> 请开始喝酒。

>> 我们只是

哇。

>> 什么？嗯，

>> 太棒了。现在我要生孩子了。

>> 什么？

>> 不，我正在生孩子。

我正在用手机进行操作。

电话。

>> 电话。 [笑声] 电话。

>> ROS，

>> 我受伤了。

>> 莫妮卡，我们走吧。来吧，人们。

待产的妇女。嘿，罗斯，看看我

在这里做了什么。

>> 是的，把它留到出租车上。好的。

[笑声]

>> 你在做什么？你在干什么？

我们要去医院。

>> 什么？那我就不能好看吗？那里可能有

医生。

>> 乔伊，从冰箱里出来。

>> 好吧。好的。

>> 那是什么？为了骑行。

>> 哦，是的。就像在出租车里一样。

>> 保存。

>> 好的。讨厌这个。

>> 莫妮卡，来吧。我们走吧。宝贝

来了。

>> 我简直不敢相信。我要成为一只

蚂蚁。

>> 我将有一个侄子。

>> 太好了。出去。我们走吧。快点。

>> 好吧。好的。我要去。我要

去。

>> 开始吧。

>> 你不想被看到和我在一起吗？

>> 什么？不，我当然知道。

他们走了吗？ [笑声]

>> 呃，不。他们还在这里。但我想

我就要离开了。

>> 什么？不，不，等等。什么？

你是对的。这太愚蠢了。谁在乎

人们的想法？我的意思是，我们彼此喜欢

，对吗？

没有什么问题。

来吧，

伯特。莉迪亚、梅尔，

[笑声]

>> 这是伊丽莎白。

>>嗨。

>> 你不是在上我的流行文化课吗？

>> 没错，莉迪亚。伊丽莎白是一名

学生，呃我们正在约会。您可能会

对此感到不满，但我们不会再

隐藏它。 [笑声]

你被解雇了。 [笑声]

>> 什么？他们会解雇你。你

不能和学生约会。这违反了

规则。真的吗？这不仅仅是让人皱起眉头

。

>> 你知道，我必须告诉你，我只是

喜欢你秃头时的样子。

>> 真的吗？

因为有时我会想再次把它全部剃掉

。

>> 真的吗？是的。我的意思是，你绝对应该

这样做。

>> 你知道吗？我应该这么做。

>> 是的。你知道吗？谢谢你，雷切尔。

你太酷了。

>> 哦，停下来。快点。

>> 现在，让我们剃光头。

>> 好吧。

>> 大家好。

>> 哇。

>> 哇。

看看你做了什么。 [笑声]

>> 你想摸它吗？

>> 不，但它很棒。

>> 来吧，摸摸它。 [笑声]

>> 好的。

您可以感觉到

头骨中的所有骨头。

[笑声]

>> 大家好，感恩节快乐。

>> 不，不，不，不，不，不。

>> 什么？今年我们是否要保守感恩节的秘密

？

不，我们正在玩我在工作中学到的

游戏。您必须在六分钟内说出所有状态

。

>> 什么？这太简单了。

>> 不，这比听起来要困难得多。

你总是会忘记至少一个，或者在

某些情况下

14.

>> 这是一个愚蠢的游戏，我并没有和其他人一起玩

，所以从技术上来说我

没有输。

>> 什么？你忘了14个州吗？

>> 没有人关心达科他州。

[笑声]

>> 哦，好吧。时间到了。

>> 好的。我得到了 48。哦，这还不错，

宝贝。

>> 哦，我厌倦了命名状态，所以我

决定列出芹菜的类型。

[笑声]

我有一颗普通芹菜。

>> 好的，Rachel 得了 48。Phoebe 在

领先。乔伊，向钱德勒哑州游戏的新

蔬菜中

冠军问好。

>> 哇。你有多少？

>> 56.

已完成，还有空闲时间。

>> 哦，这可能是一个新的世界纪录。

>> 你知道，我不想对你们说教，

，但

一群受过良好教育的成年人和乔伊

无法说出所有州的名字，这有点可耻。您曾经见过

一张地图或一种名为地球仪的彩色

圆形物体吗？

>> 呃，梅林，

你有 46 个州。

>> 什么？那是不可能的。

>> 46.好吧，现在谁受过良好的教育，我

先生忘记了10个州。

>> 好的，罗斯，时间到了。

>> 不，再给我一分钟。

>> 瞧，罗斯，如果到

你还不认识他们，你就永远不会认识他们。好吧，

这就是这个游戏的美妙之处。

让你想自杀。

[笑声]

>> 这太疯狂了。我可以做到这一点。全部

都对。呃，我打赌我能在晚餐前拿到全部 50 个呃

。

>> 好吧，但如果你不能，就不吃晚饭了。

>> 你开始了。好的。不要看我的

列表，罗斯，因为上面有很多东西。

你没有。

[音乐]

>> 我怎么听不到这个？我是一名大学

教授。我的 SAT 成绩是 1450 分。

>> 1250？

>> 该死的，我忘了你在这里。 [笑声]

>> 你需要一些帮助吗？

>> 好的，请。

首先，犹他州，

老兄。你不能只是编造一些东西。

[笑声]

[音乐]

我讨厌美国。

[笑声] 当我完成这个游戏时，我

发誓我要搬家了。

好吧，也许这很难，因为

没有 50 个州。

让我告诉你一件事。我有 49 个

个州，现在不再有

个州。我想我应该可以吃

的东西。 [笑声]

>> 这取决于你。

[笑声]

特拉华州。

[笑声]

特拉华州。

>> 好的。

>> 我现在想要我的火鸡。

>> 你明白了。

>> 你两次获得内华达州。

[笑声]

我知道。

>> 是的。

>> 在我的新

飞镖板上举行锦标赛。啊？啊？你怎么认为？

嗯？两天的飞镖。会很棒的。

>> 下周末会很棒。

>> 不，不，不。这个周末，伙计们。

>> 下周末会很棒。我的意思是，

会很棒的。

>> 发生了什么事？我们被

邀请去滑雪，你知道，雷切尔的

姐姐的小屋。

>> 是的，没关系。我的意思是，如果你们

在第一个

周末都必须离开，我就独自一人，你知道，

那么完全完全理解。

>> 你知道吗？我可以留下来。我要

留下来，因为上次我去滑雪时，我

太害怕从椅子

上跳下来。我只是绕了一圈又一圈。

[笑声]

费用，我们需要你用你祖母的

的每个人。但你知道吗？我会留下来。

小牛来载着

>> 不，我会留下来。他是我兄弟。

>> 留下来真可惜。

>> 不，[笑声]我们会玩得很开心。

我们可以做软糖。

[笑声]

>> 可惜食物。

>> 你知道吗？没关系。好的。我

不需要你们任何人留下来。好的。

没有人留下来。

>> 好吧，那么我不妨提议

留下来。是的。是的。雷切尔是我的好朋友

，我过去很爱她，但

现在她只是我的妻子。

>> 菲比，你能帮我一下吗

？

>> 好吧，当你嫁给她

时，我以为你爱她。 [笑声]

>> 我们喝醉了。喝了那么多酒我就会嫁给呃

乔伊。

>> 嘿，你可能会比 Joey

Tribani 做得更糟糕。

>> 抱歉，你们错了。我

只是不想离婚三次

。

>> 是的。现在他正在使用这三个

离婚理由，因为他想与她保持

婚姻，因为他爱她。我

必须说，干得好。太棒了，梅根。

>> 好吧，好吧。美好的。如果这就是您

的想法，请忘记整个三

离婚的事情，好吗？我我现在就去我的

律师办公室，让这

婚姻无效。好的。她对我来说毫无意义

。不，什么也没有。

>> 好的。现在，我不会和你约会，因为

你看起来有点令人毛骨悚然。

我现在对他很感兴趣。

>> 你好。

>>嗨。菲比在吗？

>> 呃，不。不。她

晚上出去了。

>> 哦，太棒了。 [笑声]

>> 我可以帮你做点什么吗？

>> 好吧，我不知道。你是按摩师吗？

>> 是的，我是。

[笑声]

>> 太棒了，

爸爸。

>> [笑声]

>> 非常感谢。一小时后我会回来接他

。

>> [笑声]

[笑声]

>> 好吧，

现在我要

触摸你。 [笑声]

[笑声]

哦，那很软。 [笑声]

[笑声]

他怎么了？

>> 我想他又吸毒了。 [笑声]

>> 什么？

>> 什么？

>> 伙计，我需要和你谈谈。

[笑声]

>> 好吧，我想我可能知道为什么我的

父母不喜欢你了。

>> 你知道吗？为什么？

>> 好吧，记住我们还年轻。

>> 嘿，春假，大二。我

在卧室里喝得很嗨，我的父母

走进来闻到了气味，所以我告诉

他们你吸毒了，然后

从窗户跳了出去。

[笑声]

>> 什么？你为什么这么做？

>> 我不知道。呃，你的是第一个

这个名字突然出现在我的脑海中。我是

，抱歉。我没有，我认为这

并不重要。

>> 怎么可能不重要呢？

>> 好吧，我怎么知道我们大学毕业后

最终会成为朋友，更不用说

了，你会和我姐姐住在一起吗？

>> 那些永远的朋友

的东西怎么样？

>> 我不知道。我当时很兴奋。

>> [笑声]

>> 妈妈和爸爸刚刚派我来这里，如果你想让罗斯

。 [笑声]

喝醉，就去找

>> 你父母在

大学里发现罗斯吸大麻，他把这归咎于我。

>> 罗斯，我不敢相信你会这么做。

>> 我们没有告诉他们我们

在一起的原因是他们讨厌我。好的。

那么，你会解决这个问题吗？

>> 好的。好的。我会告诉他们吸毒的不是

钱德勒。好的。

>> 现在，我应该说是谁？

>> 你。这不是什么大不了的事。你

你不再做这件事或任何事情。

>> 好吧。好的。现在，现在，我应该说是谁

欺骗了我？

[笑声]

[音乐]

>> 我们走吧。

>> 哦，是的。关于告诉爸爸妈妈。我

正在考虑写一封

信。

>> 好吧。你知道吗？就是这样。

你已经有机会了。

>> 什么？

>> 妈妈、爸爸、罗斯在大学里吸大麻。

>> 什么？

你真是个爱说闲话的人。

>> 妈妈，爸爸，

>> 你们还记得那次你们

走进我的房间并闻到大麻味吗？

>> 是的。

>> 是的。

[笑声]

>> 好吧，我告诉过你是钱德勒在

抽烟，但

是我。对不起。是你。

>> 爸爸，你知道你

被解雇的那个邮递员吗？没有偷你的花花公子吗？

罗斯做到了。

[笑声]

>> 是的。好吧，飓风格洛丽亚并没有

破坏门廊的秋千。莫妮卡做到了。

[笑声]

>> 罗斯已经

年没有在博物馆工作了。

>> 莫妮卡和钱德勒住在一起。

[笑声]

罗斯在拉斯维加斯与瑞秋结婚，但再次离婚

。

>> 30

秒内可以获得大量信息。

>> 好吧，莫妮卡。我不明白为什么你觉得你有

来隐藏你处于

重要关系中的事实。

>> 我们想到了门廊

秋千。

黄铜毒品又离婚了。

[笑声]

>> 发生了什么事，儿子？我我呃我被骗了

做所有这些事情，

>>莫娜。

[哼哼]

>> [笑声]

>> 好的。如果我是一件鲑鱼衬衫，

我会在哪里？

>> 非常抱歉。我把酒洒在了

你的衬衫上。

>> 哦，没关系。

>> 不，它还是湿的。你知道吗？让

我在它凝固之前把它拿出来。哦，我有

件你可以穿的东西。

这里。

>> 哦，

我不知道我是否想穿女式

衬衫。

>> 不，不，那是男式衬衫。

>> 阿里粉红。

[音乐]

>> [笑声]

>> 哦，[笑声]

[叹气]

[笑声]

天哪，罗斯。

>> 你好。

>> 罗斯，你在做什么？

>> 不碰自己。如果这能让

任何人不那么不舒服。我

>> 的意思是，我妈妈从来没有想过这会

成功。

她曾经是个骗子，一直是

骗子。 [笑声]

>> 嗯。哦，我只是希望这四个月我们没有失去

。

但是，如果您需要时间

获得一些视角，

>> 我们正在休息。

>> 咖啡馆。

>> 你打赌。

>> 郑重声明，花了两个人

才结束了这段关系。

>> 是的。你和那个来自副本

地点的女孩，昨天你承担了

的全部责任。

>> 我不知道我要承担

的责任。好的。我没有

写完整封信。

>> 什么？

>> 我睡着了。

你睡着了。

>> 那是早上 5:30，你

漫无目的地写了 18 页

[笑声]

>> 前后。

>>嗨。

>> 嘿。嘿。哦。那么，嗯，昨晚你怎么看出来

的？

[鼓掌]

>> 这很有趣。这真是令人痛苦

有趣。不，等等，等等。是的，这只是

痛苦。

>> 等一下。我觉得昨晚

很棒。

>> 是的，确实如此。但我回到家了，好吧，

我在我的

床头柜上看到了朱莉的航海解决方案，我心想，

“天哪，我到底在做什么？”我

的意思是，我在这里。我和朱莉在一起，这位

令人难以置信的伟大女性，我关心她

，她也关心我。我

想，什么？我要把

全部扔掉吗？

>> 这些都是从盐溶液中得到的？

[笑声]

>> 等一下。我们在这里谈论

雷切尔。你和雷切尔。哦，离开

我。大约 10 年来，我一直梦想着我和

Rachel。但现在

我和朱莉在一起，你知道吗？所以，就像

我和朱莉。我和雷切尔。我和

朱莉。我和拉。雷切尔。雷切尔。

>> 嘿，你。

>> 你好吗？

>> 好。你好吗？

>> 好。

>> 嗨，亲爱的。

>> 嗨，朱莉。嗨，朱莉。 [笑声]

朱莉。

嗯，你好吗？

>> 好。

>> 好。所以每个人都在这里。

大家都很好。

>> 那么你要演奏一些东西吗，

菲比？

>> 嗯，实际上我做到了。

>> 好吧。

>> 嘿，朱莉。我不知道你戴着

镜片。

>> 什么？ [笑声]

>> 好的。嗯嗨。你好。你好。好的。所以，嗯，

这是一首，嗯，关于我

爱情三角关系。

编造的三个人之间的

[笑声]

嗯，这叫，嗯，昨晚他们两个接吻了

。

[欢呼和掌声]

有一个女孩，我们叫她贝蒂，

和一个男人，我们叫他

[音乐和唱歌] 尼尔。

现在，我也无法强调这一点

强烈。这个故事不是真实的。

现在，[音乐] 尼尔必须决定谁将

成为他抛弃的女孩。

贝蒂会成为他真正爱的人吗？或者

会是打电话给露莉的人吗？

他必须做出决定。他必须做出决定。即使

虽然是我编造的，他也必须做出决定。

[欢呼]

>> [音乐]

[英语]

Everyone, I would like to make a toast

to Rachel and Joey.

>> Oh,

and to love.

[laughter]

Ah, love.

[laughter]

L O V E. Love.

L is for life. And what is life without

love?

>> Oh my god. Are we supposed to answer?

O

is for

Oh, WOW.

[laughter]

The V is for this very surprising turn

of events,

which I am still fine with. By the way,

E

[laughter]

is for how

extremely normal I find it [laughter]

that you two

are together

and that one day you might get married

and have children of your own.

Dude, are you okay?

>> Totally.

[laughter]

>> Ross, you don't seem okay.

>> I'm sorry. It must be the pressure of

entertaining.

>> [laughter]

>> Guess who?

>> Uh, Department of Sanitation. [laughter]

>> It's me.

>> Oh.

Oh, [laughter]

>> what?

>> Oh,

[laughter]

>> [laughter]

>> It's my It's my hamster. It's Mity.

>> Oh my god. I'm so sorry, Sh. I I must

have freaked out.

>> Oh, thank God it's not Mitsy.

>> It's just a rat. [laughter]

>> No, it's it's just a bit sudden. No,

it's great. Okay, I am totally on board.

I love you, too. All right. Bye.

>> What's the matter, Ross?

>> Nothing. No. Oh, uh, actually, great

news. Um, just got off the phone with

Emily, and looks like I'm moving to a

new apartment. [laughter] Woohoo.

>> Why?

>> Well, her thought is, and I agree, fresh

new furniture. Why not a fresh new

apartment? Her cousin has this great

place to sublet. It's got a view of the

river on one side and Colombia on the

other.

>> That's way up town. That's like three

trains away, which is great.

>> I love to ride that rail. [laughter]

>> So, you're really okay with this?

>> Yes. Yes. I mean, it's it's kind of far

from work, but uh you know, I'll get so

much done on the commute. I I've been

given the gift of time. [laughter] You

know, it's so funny cuz last Christmas I

got the gift of space.

We should get them together and make a

continuum.

>> Oh no, my new Paulo shoes.

>> Oh, I hope they're not ruined.

You

>> okay?

>> God, what a great day.

>> What weatherwise?

[laughter]

I know you the air, the the trees,

[snorts] even though Nana's gone,

there's there's something almost uh I

don't know, almost life.

>> I'm fine. I'm fine.

>> I'm just just having my worst fear

realized. But

>> Hi.

Hi.

>> What's wrong, buddy?

>> Someone at work ate my sandwich.

>> [laughter]

>> Well, what did the police say?

>> My Thanksgiving leftover sandwich. I

can't believe someone just ate it.

>> Ross, it's just a sandwich. Just a

sandwich. Look, I am 30 years old, okay?

I'm going to be divorced twice and I

just got evicted. That sandwich was the

only good thing going on in my life.

Someone ate the only good thing going on

in my life. [laughter]

Okay, look, I I have enough stuff for

for one more sandwich. I mean, I was

going to eat it myself, but

that would be incredible. Thank you so

much. I I I I still can't believe

someone ate it.

I mean, look, I I I left a note and

everything.

Knock-k knockock. Who's there? Ross

Geller's lunch.

Ross Geller's lunch. Who? Roskeller's

lunch. Please don't take me. Okay.

[laughter]

>> I'm surprised you didn't go home wearing

your lunch.

>> Okay. Look, you want to hold on to your

food? You got to scare people off. I

learned that living on the street.

>> Really? So, so what would you say,

Feebs? Stuff like, uh, keep your mitts

off my grub.

>> Say, Ross, when you picture Phoebe

living on the street, is she surrounded

by the entire cast of Annie?

Okay, this will keep him away from your

stuff.

>> Um, Ross,

>> may I have a word with you?

>> Oh, of course, Donald.

>> We've been getting reports of some very

angry behavior on your part.

>> What?

>> Threatening letters, refusal to meet

deadlines.

Apparently, people now call you mental.

Yeah,

>> we want you to speak to a psychiatrist.

>> Oh, no. You You don't understand. Gh,

this is so silly. Um, this is all just

because of a sandwich.

A sandwich?

>> Yeah. You see, my my sister makes these

amazing turkey sandwiches. Her secret is

she puts a an extra slice of gravy

soaked bread in the middle. I call it

the moist maker. [laughter]

Anyway, I I put my sandwich in the

fridge over here and Oh. Oh, you know

what? I I'm sorry. I I I believe I ate

that.

[laughter]

>> You ate my sandwich. It was a simple

mistake. It could happen to anyone.

>> Oh, really?

Did you confuse it with your own turkey

sandwich with a moist maker?

No.

>> Do you perhaps remember seeing a note on

top of it?

>> There may have been a a joke or limmer

of some kind

>> that said it was my sandwich.

>> Now, now calm down. Come look in my

office. Some of it may still be in the

trash.

[laughter]

>> What?

Well, it was quite large. I I I I had to

throw most of it away.

>> You You You You threw my sandwich away.

My sandwich. My

>> What time is it?

>> 1

>> 7:15.

>> Watch doesn't work.

>> Tommy's supposed to be here soon. We're

going to lunch.

[laughter]

>> Look. Look. I wasn't going to say

anything to you, but all right. I don't

think you should be seeing Tommy

anymore.

>> You don't?

>> No. The guy is mean. I mean, really

mean. I think you should stay away from

him.

>> H. Or maybe I should stay away from all

men.

>> No, it's not just because I'm jealous.

I mean, I'm not I'm not I'm not jealous.

Okay. It's Look, the guy, he screamed.

He actually screamed at this couple

sitting in our seats.

>> Yeah. And at the end of the play, he he

got up, you know, and he just started

like banging his hands together.

>> Oh. Uh, does anyone know where the

Freeman building is?

>> Yeah, it's the new building on Avenue.

>> What? That that's all the way across

town. I'm supposed to teach a graduate

seminar there in 10 minutes.

>> Ooh, dude. That's not going to happen.

>> Yeah. MOVE IT. MOVE IT. MOVE IT. HEY,

I'm the teacher.

[laughter]

Hello. [gasps]

Sorry I'm a little late. Uh, whoa, a lot

late.

Well, let me start by uh by introducing

myself. I'm uh Professor Geller.

So, to sum up,

I'm Professor Geller. Good job today.

>> Oh my god, the pages are stuck together,

Chandler.

>> Oh my god. She She made half an English

trifle and

half a shepherd's pie.

>> Okay. Now, what was that all about? Is

it Does it not taste good? Let me try

this.

>> No. No.

All done. [laughter]

So good.

Maybe Chandler HAS SOME LEFT. [laughter]

THAT TASTES like feet.

>> So, come on. Explain yourself. Geller.

First, you got my Rachel pregnant.

>> You got Rachel pregnant?

>> WHO DID?

>> YOU DID?

>> YES.

>> YES. YES, I did. But, but it was it was

just a one night thing. It meant

nothing.

>> Oh, really? That's what my daughter

means to you? Nothing?

>> No. No, sir. Um, she means a lot to me.

I mean, I I care. I I love Rachel. What?

Oh, but not in that way. I mean,

[laughter]

I mean, I'm not in love with her. I love

her like like a friend.

>> Oh, really? That's how you treat a

friend? You get her in trouble and then

you refuse to marry her?

>> Hey, I offered to marry her. But I

didn't want to. [laughter]

>> Well, why not? So you could spend your

time with this

>> I'm sorry, Dr. Green. Mona. Mona. Dr.

Green.

>> How could you have kept all of this from

me? I

>> I was going to tell you, but what? You

figure you get what you wanted and then

you dump her like you did Rachel.

>> Hey, I did not dump Rachel, nor are we

still together.

>> Oh. Um,

can I

Why don't we just let the machine get

that?

>> Hey, Ross, it's Joey. There's a hooker

over here, and we thought maybe you'd

know something about it. [laughter]

>> No, no, no, NO, NO. I I I need to lie

down

>> to go first.

>> Okay.

>> OKAY. [applause]

>> Welcome to America.

>> All right.

>> Oh my gosh. Two in a row. You got to use

your tongues now.

>> [laughter]

>> What are the odds? What are the odds?

>> Okay, that that's enough. You know, let

let's let someone else play.

[laughter]

>> If you didn't want to play, then why'd

you come to the party?

>> Hey, someone order a coat.

>> Ross, Chandler wrote something about me

on his computer, and he won't let me

see.

>> He won't. He won't.

Because isn't that isn't that the the

the short story you were writing?

>> Yes. Yes, it is the short story that I

was writing.

>> In a minute, let me read it.

>> No.

>> Come on.

>> Hey, uh why don't you read it to her?

[laughter]

All right.

It was summer

and it was hot.

Rachel was there.

[laughter]

A lonely gray couch.

Oh, look, cried Ned. [laughter]

And then the kingdom was his forever.

The end.

[applause]

That's it. That's all you wrote. You're

the worst WRITER IN THE WHOLE WORLD.

>> All right. All right. You know what?

This isn't funny anymore. There's

something about me on that piece of

paper, and I want to see it.

>> No, you don't.

>> All right. You know what? Fine. If you

guys want to be children about this,

that's fine. I do not need TO

GO.

>> What is this?

>> That is something that's

>> Ross. What is this?

>> Thank you. Good luck.

>> Okay, just just remember how crazy I am

about you. Okay.

>> Kind of ditsy.

Too into her looks.

spoiled.

>> Now that's a little spoiled. He was

supposed to type little, you idiot.

[laughter]

>> Just a waitress.

>> Now that that was uh I mean as opposed

to uh the um Okay. Is is this over yet?

Ra.

>> I do not have chubby ankles.

>> No, I

>> Excuse me. Um,

is there a woman waiting at the bar? Um,

someone average height, dark hair, or

perhaps doing a puzzle?

>> Uh, there's a drunk Chinese guy.

>> Well, if I'm still here in an hour, buy

him a drink on me.

>> Can I get you another glass of wine?

>> I don't know if I should. I don't want

to be drunk when I go home alone.

>> Got stood up, huh? Eh, it's no big deal.

It's just a blind date.

>> Are you worried your date came, saw you,

and left? [laughter]

>> Whoa.

>> Hi. Uh, I'm I'm Ross. I don't I don't

believe we met. I'm Monica's older

brother.

>> Oh, hi. I'm I'm Mona from her

restaurant.

>> Oh,

hello. Uh, Mona from her restaurant.

[snorts]

[laughter]

Mona. Wow. What a what a beautiful name.

>> You think so? I always kind of hated it.

>> Oh, come on. Mona Lisa.

>> Huh? Mona. Um,

Klelaken,

the famous botonist. Huh? Oh, no. She's

uh well, she's dead now, but [laughter]

no. Supposedly, she was once quite the

hottie of the plant world.

>> Really?

>> Well, see, I never knew about her.

>> Linda Clarken.

[laughter]

>> So, what uh what what table are you at?

>> Oh, me too.

>> Good. Now, there'll be someone there who

likes my name.

>> Yes, there will.

Oh, guess what, Molly Gilbert? You've

just been bumped up to table one. And if

it's all right with you, I'm going to

take your place at table six. Martin

clen.

[applause]

[laughter]

Hey. Uh, I thought I thought you were at

table six.

>> Uh, no, nine.

>> Oh, see, before you uh when you showed

it to me, you you held it that way,

which uh [laughter]

which was misleading.

Well,

>> hello

It was the chair again. Okay, I'm not

doing it. It Look, I don't You know

what? That's it. I cannot make this

decision. It is too difficult. So, I am

just going to leave it entirely up to

the gods of fate.

>> A magic eightball. Oh, you can't be

serious. You can't make this decision

with a toy.

>> Oh, it's not a toy.

Well, I don't know what else to do. I

mean, I either keep my wife and lose one

of my my best friends or I keep my

friend and get divorced for the second

time before I'm 30. So So if anyone else

has has a better suggestion, let's hear

it because I I got nothing. All right,

don't be shy. Any suggestion will do.

>> [laughter]

>> Okay, then.

Here we go.

Magic eightball. Should I never see

Rachel again?

Ask again later.

[laughter] Later is not good enough.

[laughter]

Ask again later.

>> What the hell? This is broken. It is

broken.

>> Hello.

>> Hello. Is Ross there?

>> Uh, no he's not. Can I take a message?

>> Yes. This is Russell. Ross's divorce

lawyer. Just tell him that since I

haven't heard from him, I assume he's

decided to give the marriage a try.

>> Ross got married again? No. [laughter]

>> All right, keep going. We are phasing

the accent out. Phasing it out.

So without retesting their results in

the laboratory,

the team would never have identified

[laughter]

the initial errors in their carbon

dating analysis.

[laughter]

Were there any questions at this point?

>> Yes.

>> What's happening to your accent?

Come again. What's What's this nonsense?

[laughter]

All right. I'm I'm not English.

I'm from Long Island.

I was really nervous and the accent just

um just came out. [laughter]

I'm sorry.

So, if we could just get back to the

lecture.

Um,

were there any questions

[laughter]

about paleontology?

All right. Look, I was just trying to

make a good first impression. Obviously,

I screwed up, but what you guys think of

me is really important because I'm I'm

hoping to get a permanent job here. So,

if you just give me another chance to

make a good impression.

>> Ross, ARE YOU CRAZY? I'M STILL YOUR WIFE

OR WERE YOU JUST NEVER GOING TO TELL ME?

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?

I could just kill you. [laughter]

[applause]

>> Well, RACHEL,

[laughter]

>> this guy says hello. Oh, I want to kill

myself.

>> Are you okay, sweetie?

>> I just feel like someone reached down my

throat, grabbed my small intestine,

pulled it out of my mouth, and tied it

around my neck. Cookie,

>> Carol moved her stuff out today.

>> Let me get you some coffee.

>> Thanks.

>> No. Oh, no. No. Don't stop cleansing my

aura. [laughter]

>> No. Just leave my aura alone. Okay,

I'll be fine. All right. Really,

everyone? I hope she'll be very happy.

>> No, you don't.

>> No, I don't. To hell with her. She left

me.

>> And you never knew she was a lesbian.

[laughter]

>> No. Okay.

Why does everyone keep fixating on that?

[laughter]

She didn't know. How should I know?

Look, uh,

I know why you're here.

>> You do?

>> Yeah. And to save you from any

embarrassment, um, I think maybe I

should talk first.

>> Okay.

>> Okay.

Ross and Rachel.

Rachel and Ross,

that's been one heck of a seessaw,

hasn't it?

>> What?

>> I mean, look, that that one night we had

was fun and and certainly passionate,

but don't don't you think it's better if

we just stay friends?

>> Seriously, what?

>> Okay. Okay. You know what? If you want

to,

we can do it one more time.

I mean, I I'd be okay with that. In

fact, I have some time right now.

>> Okay. You know what? Can I Can I talk

now?

>> Oh, sure.

>> Okay.

I'm pregnant.

Ross.

[laughter]

Ross.

Okay. Whenever you're ready.

[applause]

[laughter]

And you're the father, by the way. You

go.

>> Can I get you some water?

>> I'm [clears throat] good. I'm good.

>> Ross, there is no pressure on you. Okay.

I mean, you can be as involved as you

want.

>> Yeah. I uh I'm just I don't know. I

don't understand

um how this happened. Huh?

>> We We used a condom.

>> I know. I know. But you know, condoms

only work like 97% of the time.

>> What? What?

[laughter]

>> What?

Well, they should PUT THAT ON THE BOX.

[laughter]

>> They do.

>> NO, THEY DON'T.

>> [applause]

>> WELL, THEY SHOULD PUT IT IN HUGE BLOCK

LETTERS.

>> OKAY, ROSS, come on. Let's just forget

about the condom.

>> Oh, well, I may as well have.

>> Listen, you know what? I was really

freaked out, too, when I

>> Hey, I'm not freaked out.

I'm indignant as a consumer.

[laughter]

>> You know what? Let's Let's talk later.

>> No, no. I want to talk now. Okay. I in

fact I want to talk to the president

of the condom company.

>> Okay. You know what? Maybe I should come

back.

>> Shh.

>> Yeah. I'll press one. The data we're

receiving from MRI scans and DNA testing

of these fossils are are staggering.

Mhm.

>> I mean, we've been accepting Leaky's

dates as as a given. But if they're off

by even a 100,000 years or so, then you

can you can just throw most of our

assumptions, you know, right in the

trash.

So, so what I'm saying is is is

that [laughter]

is that uh reparations

could could be huge. I mean, not just in

in paleontology, but if you think about

it, in in evolutionary biology, uh,

genetics, uh, geology, I mean, truly,

the the mind boggles.

>> Well, that's not what you want.

>> Hello,

>> Joey. Hey, I need to talk to Charlie. Is

she there? No, she uh she went shopping

with Rachel. Why? What's up?

>> Well, I'm meeting with Professor Sherman

about my being the keynote speaker.

>> Oh, how's it going?

>> It could be better.

>> He um he fell asleep.

>> What? But I already bought my ticket to

Bermuda,

>> Barbados. Fine, I'll rent the car and

drive.

[laughter]

Ross, you have to get that job.

>> What am I supposed to do? He's cold. In

fact, he he was just talking in his

sleep before, and evidently he wants

someone named Fran to spank him harder.

>> Well, just wake him up.

>> I can't. If he realizes that I'm the one

who put him to sleep, I won't get the

job.

>> Ooh, that's a tough one.

>> Oh, wait a minute. This happened to me

before. Yeah, I was auditioning for a

play and the producer fell asleep. I

No, wait a minute. It was me who fell

asleep.

>> Yeah. I mean,

>> hey, Shakespeare, how about a chase

scene once in a while?

>> [laughter]

[laughter]

[cheering]

>> Oh my god. You really want me to be the

keynote speaker?

Thank you.

>> Rachel was supposed to be back by now.

Yeah, but her plane got delayed in

Athens. But actually, she should be here

by now.

>> Oh, so you talked to her. Did she Did

she sound mad?

>> No, but she likes me. [laughter]

>> You abandoned her on a plane to Greece.

>> Okay. I did not abandon Rachel. Okay.

Emily showed up at the airport. I had to

go after her. I mean, I I did what I had

to do. She's my wife. Rachel is my wife.

You know, Emily [cheering]

Emily is my wife.

Man, what is that?

>> So, you still haven't heard from Emily?

>> No, not since I lost her at the airport.

>> I can't believe she can outrun you, MAN.

>> HEY, SHE'S FAST. OKAY,

>> you think you CAN BEAT ME? LET'S GO

OUTSIDE.

[laughter]

>> HI, RACHEL.

>> RICH. RA, I am so sorry. I am so so

sorry.

>> Oh, Ross, come on. You just did what you

had to do.

>> Well, that's it. You're not mad. I mean,

it must have been terrible.

>> Terrible? Hell, I was in Greece. I was a

nice hotel, nice beach, met the nice

people. It's not too shabby for Rachel.

>> So, what? That's it?

>> Oh, yeah. We're cool. Totally cool.

>> Thanks. Right. You're the best. Oh no,

you're the best. [laughter]

>> Oh, I got to go to the flower store.

Check it out. No one will tell me where

Emily is, so I'm going to send 72 long

stemmed red roses to her parents' house.

One for each day that I've known and

loved her. That ought to get her talking

to me again.

>> Oh, Ross, when you make out the card, be

sure to make it out to Emily.

[laughter]

I know it's our anniversary, but I told

you on the phone I don't have time to

stop.

>> Okay, you don't have to stop. I'm

invisible. I'm not here.

>> Yeah, but I don't.

Who approved that order? Well, there is

no Mark Robinson in this office. Get me

Mark on the phone.

>> I love Mark. Do you know Mark?

>> Yeah.

>> Well, let me just check up with what

I've got here. All right. See, 038 is

not the number for this score. 038 is

Atlanta.

Pepper.

>> None for me.

>> I'm sorry. As I was saying, the store

number is wrong and I'm sorry, but that

Oh my god.

[laughter]

>> Okay.

>> Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

>> Excuse me. I'm sorry. I'm going to have

to call you back. I've got Shmp in my

office.

>> [laughter]

>> What are you doing?

>> I'm sorry, but um Hey. Oh, somebody's

off the phone. How about a glass of wine

by the fire? I'd get it going again if

you

What are you doing? I uh reorganized the

fridge. See? Uh bottom shelf meats and

dairy, middle shelf, fruits and

vegetables,

and top shelf expired products.

>> [laughter]

>> Why are you doing this?

>> Because I am bored. Out of my mind. I've

already been to the bank, the post

office, and the dry cleaners.

>> Dude, you just described 7 days worth of

stuff. [laughter]

You got to spread it out a little. You

know, haven't you ever been unemployed?

>> Hey, I am not unemployed. I'm on

satical.

>> Hey, don't get religious on me, okay?

[laughter]

A guy in your position needs to be a

little better at relaxing, you know.

What? Why do you think we have the

comfortable chairs? Huh? Look, come

here. Sit down. Ready?

Watch.

AND THEN

>> so what? We just sit. Oh, no. No. We're

not going to just sit. Watch.

>> Hello, Chandler Bing.

>> Hello, Mr. Bing.

I love you.

>> All right, whoever this is, stop calling

me. [laughter]

IT'S BEEN 6 MONTHS. IT'S NOT FUNNY.

>> I HAD a lot of work to do. And Ross,

nice guy that he is, offered to help me

out. And then we had a little wine. We

got to talking and next thing you know,

out of nowhere, Ross comes on to me.

[laughter]

>> That's That's a little misleading.

>> What is

>> the lie you just told [laughter]

>> that that you came on to me?

>> There's the one.

>> But you did. Let's be honest.

>> Yes. What?

You know what? Uh, it's it's not

important. What's important is that is

that we're having a baby and it's not

doesn't matter who came on to who.

>> Whom.

>> That's right.

>> You know, you kissed me first.

>> What? What? You were begging me to kiss

you. You You were sending me signals all

over the place.

>> I was sending you signals. Oh, please.

Okay. Anyone in this room think that I

would actually send Ross begging

signals? Please show of hands.

[laughter]

>> You know, it doesn't matter. It doesn't

matter what people believe. What matters

is what happened.

>> Okay. Well, so these signals, Ross,

explain this to me, cuz maybe I need to

be more careful. I mean, am I sending

you these signals right now?

>> You know what? You know what, Rachel?

Just just drop it.

>> No, please show me how I begged you.

>> I can show you. I have it on videotape.

[laughter]

It's an expression.

[laughter]

>> What are we going to talk about? What

you guys did last night or

what? What happened last night? Nothing.

Nothing uh nothing happened last night.

>> Uhhuh. Ross invited us to all to watch.

Ra, we weren't going to miss our friends

getting married.

>> Who got married?

[laughter]

>> You did?

>> What?

>> Hello. We didn't get married. [laughter]

>> Married? That's ridiculous.

[cheering]

>> Wait, wait, wait, wait. I remember being

in a chapel. Wait, they they they would

not let us get married when we were that

drunk. They'll let you get married when

you're drunk. Most people getting

married in Vegas are drunk.

>> Now I'm drunk right now.

>> I can't have a mimosa with breakfast.

I'm on vacation.

>> What are you guys going to do? Oh, I

guess we just find a divorce lawyer.

>> Well, I think I think Ross already has

one.

>> Now, this one's free, right? Because you

paid for the first two, so you get the

third one for free.

Laugh it up. But the joke's on you

because we don't need to get divorced.

Okay. We We're just going to get an

anulment. An anulment? Ross. I don't

think surgery is the answer here.

[laughter]

>> Oh. Oh, that's your thing.

>> What?

>> You're the thing. You know that you're

the guy who gets divorced.

>> That's not my thing.

I do not love getting divorced.

>> Yes, you do. This is your third divorce.

God, you love divorce so much, I'm

probably going to marry it and then

then it won't work out. So, you're going

to have to divorce it. Divorcing guy.

[laughter]

>> [screaming]

[laughter]

>> Did the TV wake you?

>> No. When you put your feet up on my bed,

you tugged on my catheter. [laughter]

Ouchie.

[laughter]

>> What are you doing here, Giller?

>> Well, I came with Rachel, who who should

be back any second.

>> So, what's new?

>> Oh, I had a little heart attack.

>> Wait. Is Is it painful?

>> What? The heart attack is sitting here

talking to you. [laughter]

>> Let's see if we can get that Rachel back

in here. So, what's new with you, girl?

Knocked up any more of my daughters

lately? Nope. Just the one. Right.

>> What was your week?

>> Oh, it was good. It was actually the

baby started kicking.

>> How exciting.

>> Yeah, I know. Oh, it was amazing. The

only sad thing is I wasn't around when

it happened for the first time.

>> Oh, no.

>> Yeah, I know. And I I was missing out on

all this other stuff, too. So, Joey

suggested Rachel move in with me.

>> Yeah, [laughter] right.

>> What?

>> Joey cracks me up. It's like, yeah, why

don't you have your ex-wife move in with

you? That wouldn't be awkward at all.

Hey, could you imagine? I go away for a

few days. I come back and my boyfriend

is living with some woman. He got

pregnant. [laughter]

>> So, what'd you tell him?

>> What are you? Hi.

>> Hi. [laughter]

>> What are you doing here? I'm I'm

supposed to pick you up.

>> Change of plans. I made you a special

Valentine's dinner. Surprise.

>> Oh, hey, Mona. Hi. Hi. Hi, Rachel.

What's she doing here?

>> I have no idea. [laughter]

>> Um, I'll be watching TV if anybody needs

me.

>> Seriously, what is she doing?

>> Uh, you know, lately she just likes

hanging out here. [laughter]

>> Why?

>> I think she's lonely.

Okay, but it's Valentine's Day. Can't we

just ask her to go?

>> Well, no. No. She's way too emotional.

And by emotional, I mean,

[laughter]

>> I'm not here. That's just my Chinese

food.

>> Oh my god. She has food delivered here.

>> Yes, she's she's emotional, but but

ballsy.

>> You know what I'm going to do? I'm going

to get in my sweats and eat this in bed.

>> And you thought she was going to be in

our way. [laughter]

>> So, okay, why don't you uh open the

champagne and I will be right back. I've

got a surprise for you.

>> You got another ex-wife back there.

>> Please start drinking.

>> We were just

Wow.

>> What? Um,

>> great. Now I'm having a baby.

>> What?

>> No, I'm I'm having I'm having A BABY.

I'M I'M HAVING IT WITH THE PHONE. THE

PHONE.

>> THE PHONE. [laughter] THE PHONE.

>> ROS,

>> I'm hurt.

>> Monica, let's go. Come on now, people.

Woman in labor. Hey, Ross, look what I

got going here.

>> Yeah, save it for the cab. Okay.

[laughter]

>> What are you doing? What are you doing?

We're going to a hospital.

>> What? So I can't look nice? There might

be doctors there.

>> Joey, get out of the fridge.

>> All right. All right.

>> What is that? For the ride.

>> Oh, yeah. Like in a cab.

>> Save it.

>> Okay. Hating this.

>> MONICA, COME ON NOW. Let's go. Baby

coming.

>> I can't believe it. I'm going to be an

ant.

>> I'm going to have like a nephew.

>> That's nice. Get out. Let's go. Come on.

>> All right. All right. I'm going. I'm

going.

>> Here we go.

>> Do you not want to be seen with me?

>> What? No. Of of course I do. Are Are

they gone? [laughter]

>> Uh, no. They're still here. But I think

I'm about to leave.

>> What? No. No. Wait. What?

You're right. This is stupid. Who cares

what people think? I mean, we we like

each other, right? There's nothing wrong

with that.

Come on,

Bert. Lydia, Mel,

[laughter]

>> this is Elizabeth.

>> Hi.

>> Aren't you in my popular culture class?

>> That's right, Lydia. Elizabeth here is a

student and uh we're dating. And you may

frown upon that, but we're not going to

hide it anymore. [laughter]

You are so fired. [laughter]

>> What? They're going to fire you. You

can't date a student. It's against the

rules. Really? It's not just frowned

upon.

>> You know, I got to tell you, I just

loved your look when you were bald.

>> Really?

Because I think about shaving it all off

again sometimes.

>> Really? Yeah. I mean, you definitely

should do that.

>> You know what? I should do it.

>> Yeah. You know what? Thank you, Rachel.

You are so cool.

>> Oh, stop. Come on.

>> Now, let's shave that head.

>> All right.

>> Hey, EVERYBODY.

>> WOW.

>> WOW.

LOOK WHAT YOU DID. [laughter]

>> You want to touch it?

>> No, but but it's great.

>> Come on, touch it. [laughter]

>> Okay.

You can feel all the bones in your

skull.

[laughter]

>> Hey everybody, happy Thanksgiving.

>> No, no, no, no, no, no.

>> What? Are we keeping Thanksgiving a

secret this year?

No, we are playing this game I learned

at work. You have to name all the states

in six minutes.

>> What? That's like insanely easy.

>> No, it's a lot harder than it sounds.

You always forget at least one or in

some cases

14.

>> It's a stupid game and I wasn't playing

against other people, so technically I

didn't lose.

>> What? You forgot 14 states?

>> Nobody cares about the Dakotas.

[laughter]

>> Oh, okay. Time's up.

>> All right. I got 48. Oh, it's not bad,

babe.

>> Oh, I got tired of naming states, so I

decided to list the types of celery.

[laughter]

And I have one regular celery.

>> Okay, so Rachel's got 48. And Phoebe has

the lead in

vegetables. Joey, say hello to the new

champ of Chandler's dumb states game.

>> Wow. How many you got?

>> 56.

done with time to spare.

>> Oo, this may be a new world's record.

>> You know, I hate to lecture you guys,

but it's kind of disgraceful that a

group of well-educated adults and Joey

can't name all the states. You ever see

a map or one of those round colorful

things called a globe?

>> Uh, Mellin,

you got 46 states.

>> What? That's impossible.

>> 46. Well, who's well educated now, Mr. I

forgot 10 states.

>> Okay, Ross, time is up.

>> No, just give me another minute.

>> Look, Ross, if you don't know them by

now, you will never know them. Okay,

that is the beauty of this game. It

makes you want to kill yourself.

[laughter]

>> This This is crazy. I can do this. All

right. Uh I bet I can get all 50 uh

before dinner.

>> Okay, but if you can't, no dinner.

>> You're on. All right. Don't look at my

list, Ross, cuz there's a lot on there.

that you don't have.

[music]

>> How can I not get this? I'm a college

professor. I got 1450 on my SATs.

>> 1250?

>> Damn, I forgot you were here. [laughter]

>> You need some help from you?

>> Yes, please.

First of all, Utah,

dude. You can't just make stuff up.

[laughter]

[music]

I hate America.

[laughter] When I finish this game, I

swear I am moving.

Okay, maybe this is so hard because

there aren't 50 states.

Let me tell you something. I have 49

states and there are no more

now. I I think I should be able to eat

something. [laughter]

>> It's up to you.

[laughter]

Delaware.

[laughter]

Delaware.

>> All right.

>> I want my turkey now.

>> You got it.

>> You got Nevada twice.

[laughter]

I know.

>> Yes.

>> A tournament on my new

dart board. Huh? Huh? What do you think?

Huh? Two days of darts. It'll be great.

>> It'll be great for next weekend.

>> No, no, no. This weekend, guys.

>> It'll be great for next weekend. I mean,

it'll be great.

>> What's going on? We were um sort of

invited to go skiing, you know, Rachel's

sister's cabin.

>> Yeah, that's okay. I mean, if you guys

all have to go away for the first

weekend, I'm alone by myself, you know,

then totally totally understand.

>> You know what? I can stay. I'm going to

stay cuz the last time I went skiing, I

was too afraid to jump off the chair

lift. I just went round and round.

[laughter]

Fees, we kind of need you to drive

everybody up there in your grandmother's

calf. But you know what? I'll stay.

>> No, I'll stay. He's my brother.

>> What a pity stay.

>> No, [laughter] we're going to have fun.

We can make fudge.

[laughter]

>> Pity food.

>> You know what? That's okay. All right. I

don't need any of you to stay. Okay.

Nobody stays.

>> Well, then I might as well offer to

stay. Yes. Yes. Rachel is my good friend

and I I have loved her in the past, but

now she is just my wife.

>> Phoebe, will you will you help me out

here?

>> Well, I thought you loved her when you

when you married her. [laughter]

>> We were drunk. I would have married uh

Joey with that amount of alcohol.

>> Hey, you could do a lot worse than Joey

Tribani.

>> I'm sorry, but you guys are wrong. I

just don't want to be divorced three

times.

>> Yes. And now he's using this three

divorces reason because he wants to stay

married to her because he loves her. I

must say, well done. Bravo, Megan.

>> Okay, fine. Fine. If this is what you

think, forget about the whole three

divorce thing, okay? I I'll go to my

lawyer's office right now and get this

marriage a null. Okay. She means nothing

to me. No. Nothing.

>> Okay. Now, I wouldn't date you because

you seem a little creepy.

I am so attracted to him right now.

>> Hello.

>> Hi. Is uh Phoebe here?

>> Uh, no. No. She's she's out for the

night.

>> Oh, great. [laughter]

>> Can I can I help you with something?

>> Well, I don't know. Are you a massur?

>> Yes, I am.

[laughter]

>> Great,

Dad.

>> [laughter]

>> Thank you so much. I'll be back to pick

him up in an hour.

>> [laughter]

[laughter]

>> Okay,

now I'm going to

touch you. [laughter]

[laughter]

Oh, that's soft. [laughter]

[laughter]

What's the matter with him?

>> I think he's stoned again. [laughter]

>> What?

>> What?

>> Dude, I need to talk to you a sec.

[laughter]

>> Okay, I think I might know why my

parents don't like you.

>> You do? Why?

>> Okay, remember we were young.

>> Hey, spring break, sophomore year. I I

got high in my bedroom and my parents

walked in and smelled it and so I told

them that you had gotten stoned and

jumped out the window.

[laughter]

>> What? Why did you do that?

>> I don't know. Uh yours was the first

name that that popped into my head. I'm

I'm sorry. I didn't I didn't think it'd

matter.

>> How could it not matter?

>> Well, how was I supposed to know we'd

end up being friends after college, let

alone you'd be living with my sister?

>> What about all that friends forever

stuff?

>> I don't know. I I was all high.

>> [laughter]

>> Mom and dad just sent me in here to find

out if you were trying to get Ross

stoned. [laughter]

>> Your parents caught Ross smoking pot in

college and he blamed it on me.

>> Ross, I can't believe you do that.

>> The reason we haven't told them we're

together is because they hate me. Okay.

So, will you fix this?

>> Okay. Okay. I'll tell them it wasn't

Chandler who got high. Okay.

>> Now, who should I say it was?

>> You. It's not like it's a big deal. You

You don't still do it or anything.

>> All right. All right. Now, now, who

should I say tricked me into doing it?

[laughter]

[music]

>> Let's go.

>> Oh, yeah. About telling mom and dad. I

was thinking about maybe writing a

letter.

>> All right. You know what? That's it.

You've had your chance.

>> What?

>> Mom, Dad, Ross smoked pot in college.

>> What?

You are such a tattletail.

>> Mom, Dad,

>> you remember that that time you walked

in my room and smelled marijuana?

>> Yes.

>> Yes.

[laughter]

>> Well, I told you it was Chandler who was

smoking the pot, but

it was me. I'm sorry. It was you.

>> And Dad, you know that mailman that you

got fired? Didn't steal your Playboys?

Ross did.

[laughter]

>> Yeah. Well, Hurricane Gloria didn't

break the porch swing. Monica did.

[laughter]

>> Ross hasn't worked at the museum for a

year.

>> Monica and Chandler are living together.

[laughter]

Ross married RACHEL IN VEGAS AND GOT

DIVORCED AGAIN.

>> That's a lot of information to get in 30

seconds.

>> All right, Monica. Why you felt you had

to hide the fact that you're in an

important relationship is beyond me.

>> And we kind of figured about the porch

swing.

brass drugs divorced again.

[laughter]

>> What happened, son? I I uh I got tricked

into all those things,

>> Mona.

[snorts]

>> [laughter]

>> Okay. If I were a salmon shirt, where

would I be?

>> I am so sorry. I spilled wine all over

your shirt.

>> Oh, it's okay.

>> No, it's still wet. You know what? Let

me get it out before it sets. Oh, I have

something you could wear.

Here.

>> Oh,

I don't know if I want to wear a woman's

shirt.

>> No, no, that that's a man's shirt.

>> Aly pink.

[music]

>> [laughter]

>> Oh, [laughter]

[sighs]

[laughter]

Oh my god, Ross.

>> Hello.

>> Ros, what are you doing?

>> Not touching myself. If that makes

anyone less uncomfortable. I

>> mean, my mom never thought this would

work out.

She was all once a cheater, always a

cheater. [laughter]

>> Mhm. Oh, I just wish we hadn't lost

those four months.

But if time was what you needed just to

gain a little perspective,

>> we were on a break.

>> Coffee house.

>> You bet.

>> And for the record, it took two people

to break up this relationship.

>> Yeah. You and that girl from that copy

place, which yesterday you took full

responsibility for.

>> I didn't know what I was taking

responsibility for. Okay. I didn't

finish the whole letter.

>> What?

>> I fell asleep.

You fell asleep.

>> It was 5:30 in the morning and you had

rambled on for 18 pages

[laughter]

>> front and back.

>> Hi.

>> Hey. Hey. Oh. So, um, how'd you make out

last night?

[applause]

>> That That is funny. That is painfully

funny. No, wait, wait. Yeah, that's just

painful.

>> Wait a minute. I thought last night was

was great.

>> Yeah, it was. But I get home, okay, and

I see Julie's sailing solution on my

night table, and I'm thinking to myself,

"Oh my god, what the hell am I doing?" I

mean, here I am. I'm with Julie, this

incredible great woman who I care about

and and who cares about me. And I'm

like, what? Am I just going to throw all

that away?

>> You got all that from saline solution?

[laughter]

>> Wait a minute. We're talking about

Rachel here. You and Rachel. Oh, leave

me. I've been dreaming about me and

Rachel for like 10 years now. But now

I'm with Julie, you know? So, it's like

me and Julie. Me and Rachel. Me and

Julie. Me and Ra. Rachel. Rachel.

>> Hey, you.

>> How are you?

>> Good. How are you?

>> Good.

>> Hi, honey.

>> Hi, Julie. Hi, Julie. [laughter]

Julie.

Um, how are you?

>> Good.

>> Good. So everybody's here.

Everybody's good.

>> So were you going to play something,

Phoebe?

>> Well, actually I did.

>> All right.

>> Hey, Julie. I didn't know you wore

lenses.

>> What? [laughter]

>> Okay. Um Hi. Hello. Hi. Okay. So, um,

this is a song, um, about a love

triangle between three people that I

made up.

[laughter]

Um, it's called, um, two of them kissed

last night.

[cheering and applause]

There was a girl, we'll call her Betty,

and a guy, let's call

[music and singing] him Neil.

Now, I can't stress this point too

strongly. This story isn't real.

Now, [music] Neil must decide who will

be the girl that he casts aside. Will

Betty be the one who he loves truly? Or

will it be the one who will call Luly?

He must decide. He must decide. Even

though I made him up, he must decide.

[cheering]

>> [music]

重点词汇

词汇	含义
toast /toʊst/ A1	noun - 祝酒
love /lʌv/ A1	noun - 爱
surprising /sərˈpraɪzɪŋ/ A2	adjective - 令人惊讶的
extremely /ɪkˈstriːmli/ A2	adverb - 极其
married /ˈmærid/ A1	adjective - 已婚的
children /ˈtʃɪldrən/ A1	noun - 孩子们
pressure /ˈprɛʃər/ A2	noun - 压力
entertaining /ˌɛntərˈteɪnɪŋ/ B1	adjective - 有趣的
furniture /ˈfɜrníʧər/ A1	noun - 家具
apartment /əˈpɑrtmənt/ A1	noun - 公寓
commute /kəˈmjuːt/ B1	verb - 通勤
continuum /kənˈtɪnjuːəm/ C1	noun - 连续体
sandwich /ˈsænwɪtʃ/ A1	noun - 三明治
leftover /ˈlɛftˌoʊvər/ A2	adjective - 剩余的
divorced /dɪˈvɔrst/ A2	adjective - 离婚的
incredible /ɪnˈkrɛdəbəl/ A2	adjective - 难以置信的
note /noʊt/ A1	noun - 便条
emotional /ɪˈmoʊʃənl/ B1	adjective - 情感的
blind /blaɪnd/ A1	adjective - 盲的
date /deɪt/ A1	noun - 约会

重点语法结构

• There was a girl, we'll call her Betty, and a guy, let's call him Neil.

  ➔ 过去将来时（will）用于描述过去语境中假设或计划的行动。

  ➔ “we'll call” 和 “let's call” 的使用强调了讲述者给故事中的角色贴标签的意图，使用过去将来时来设定场景。

• Now, I can't stress this point too strongly. This story isn't real.

  ➔ 情态动词 (can't) 表示能力或强调，现在简单否定 (isn't) 表示事实陈述。

  ➔ “Can't stress” 强调了陈述的重要性，而 “isn't real” 明确否定了故事的真实性。

• Now, Neil must decide who will be the girl that he casts aside.

  ➔ 情态动词 (must) 表示义务，将来简单时 (will be) 表示预测或决定。

  ➔ “Must decide” 表示强烈的义务，而 “will be” 预测尼尔决定的结果。

• Will Betty be the one who he loves truly? Or will it be the one who will call Luly?

  ➔ 用情态动词 (will) 和关系代词 (who) 构成的疑问句，以及将来简单时 (will call)。

  ➔ 疑问句使用 “will” 询问未来的可能性，而 “who” 明确了动作的主语。

• He must decide. He must decide. Even though I made him up, he must decide.

  ➔ 重复以强调，让步从句 (even though) 用于对比思想。

  ➔ “he must decide” 的重复强调了决定的重要性，而 “even though” 引入了对比的思想。