– 英语/中文 双语歌词

歌词与翻译

[中文]

这个接吻的事绝对是个问题。

巴蒂先生想在

星期一再次看到它。伙计，我必须弄清楚

我做错了什么。哦好的。呃，

个女孩过来吻我。

>> 明白了吗？

>> 好的。

>> 嘿，来吧。我这里需要你的帮助。

>> 好吧，我会做的。我以前吻过他

。我可以再做一次。

>> 看到这个了吗？啊？这是一个朋友。

>> 嗯嗯。我们走吧。等等，我有枪。

>> 好的。

好。非常好。坚定但温柔。我

会将您推荐给朋友。

>> 那我就不知道那是什么了。

是什么问题？

>> 你知道，也许你只是不习惯

接吻男人。你知道，也许你只是

有点紧张。也许这就是您需要努力的

。

>> 是的，这是有道理的。

在我的尸体上。

>> 我将使用他的尸体作为

盾牌。

>> 大家，球要掉下来了。

>> 球在滴水。

[掌声]

>> 欢乐的时刻即将来临。

>> 看起来日期包问题

没有成功。

每个人看起来都很高兴。我讨厌那样。

>> 并不是每个人都高兴。

>> 嘿，鲍比。

[掌声]

>> 你知道，我呃只是想把

这个扔在这里。我不是数学奇才，但我确实

相信这里有三个女孩和三个

男孩。

>> 哦，今晚我不想亲吻任何人

。

我不能亲吻任何人。所以，我要亲吻

每个人。

>> 不，不，不。你不能亲吻罗斯。那是

你的兄弟。

>> 哦，是的。

>> 哦，完美。完美的。所以，现在

除了我之外，每个人都得到了一个吻。全部

都对。有人吻我吧

>> 有人吻我。现在是午夜。

有人吻我。现在是午夜。这是

一次。

>> 大家都在哪里？

>> 哦，已经关门了。克里斯给了我

锁钥匙。怎么了？我的

婚姻我想我的婚姻已经

结束了。

>> 哦不。为什么？

>> 因为卡罗尔是女同性恋

>> 而我不是。

显然这不是混合搭配

的情况。

>> 天啊。

我不相信。

哦，你可怜的兔子。

>> 我是个白痴。

我的意思是，我应该看到它。我的意思是，

卡罗尔和我出去，她会看到

一些美丽的女人，而她会是

罗斯，你知道，看看她。我会

想，

天哪，我的妻子很酷。

嘿，你认为Susan那个人是

她的情人吗？

>> 好吧，现在我知道了。

>> 抱歉。

>> 7 年。

我的意思是，我们在一起已经七年了。

她是唯一爱过

我的女人。

这是我唯一的女人

哦，

>>如果我

更多的养育或者

我更多的关注或者我

有一个子宫，这一切就不会发生。

>> 我简直不敢相信。

>> 我知道。不，你知道，你不值得

这个。你不知道，罗斯。你你你真的

你太棒了。

>> 谢谢。你真是太可爱了，

很友善

[掌声]

[音乐]

>> 等等。

[鼓掌]

等等，等等，等等。我的脚卡在

口袋里了。

>> 什么？

>> 啊？

>> 我拿不出来。

>> 这不是女孩想听到的

。

>> 不。

不要开始。

>> 噢。

>> 什么？

>> 愚蠢的球挡住了路。

[掌声]

哦，好吧，

这可能不是

最具建设性的解决方案。

>> 你脸上有粉笔。

>> 哦，罗斯，你是对的。我不知道为什么

我一直以为这是真草。

[鼓掌]

>>亲爱的，你还好吗？

>> 我妻子是女同性恋。

>> 酷。

>> 是什么让你花了这么长时间？

>> 我工作很忙，但我明天

辞职。

所以，谢谢你邀请我过来，

>> Ra。

偷看，

再见。

那到底是什么？

>> 可能是一些，你知道，欧洲人

再见他在伦敦捡到的东西。

那不是欧洲的。

>> 啊？感觉是法国式的。

>> 嘿。哦，拉，等等。今晚你想去看

电影吗？

>> 哦，你知道吗？我不能。我必须

和那个梅丽莎女孩共进晚餐。

>> 我可以来吗？

>> 我什至不会说话。您刚刚听到我的摄像机发出

噪音。

>> 这是什么？这是怎么回事？

>> 哦，我可以告诉一下吗？我可以告诉它吗？好吧，

你想听听

究竟发生了什么还是乔伊的淫荡版本吗？乔伊的。

不。嘿，来吧。我有一位来自

大学的朋友，我犯了一个愚蠢的错误

告诉乔伊，有一次她和我，

你知道，接吻了一点。

是的，我确信这件事发生了。

确实如此。当然。

>> 嘿，它发生了。

是的，那是大学四年级。

是在西格玛凯鲁奥和梅丽莎

之后，我喝得很醉，最后我们

亲吻了

几分钟。

>> 这意味着她喝了几杯

，并在脸颊上快速啄了一下。

>> 你为什么要从我这里拿走这个？

>> 为什么这让你如此难以相信？

>> 好吧，我只是不知道你是

女同性恋。

[鼓掌]

我并不是说我是女同性恋。我

只是说这件事发生了。好的。

看起来相当狂野。而你，你

知道，很普通。

香草。我不是香草。我做过很多

的疯狂事情。我是说，我

喝醉了，然后在维加斯和罗斯结婚了。

好吧。你知道吗？如果你不想

相信我，为什么不

你今晚跟我一起吃晚饭

，她会告诉你的。

>> 好的。好的。是的，因为我无法

想象它。

>> 不，你应该进入我的脑海。

>> 哇。

我的意思是，我不知道就是这样。

>> 那到底是什么？只是想看看

到底是怎么回事。

我吃过更好的。

>> 我们想在午夜接吻，但

没有其他人愿意。所以，你知道。

好的。我会处理的。

>> 乔伊。

>> 33. 32.

>> 31.

>> 罗斯。听。

午夜你在亲吻谁？啊？雷切尔还是菲比？

>> 什么？

>> 好吧，你必须亲吻某人。不能

亲吻你的妹妹。

>> 好吧，谁来吻我妹妹？

>> 查。

>> 哦，伙计。

>> 伙计。老兄，你想让谁

亲吻你的妹妹？我还是钱德勒？

>> 这是一个很好的观点。

>> 是的。呃，好吧，既然我和 Rachel 有着

的历史，我猜是 Phoebe。

好的，太棒了。好吧，偷看。偷看，

听着。罗斯想在

午夜吻你。

>> 太明显了。他为什么不直接问呢？

>> 丰富。拉，听着。我要在午夜亲吻你

。

>> 什么？

>> 好吧，每个人都必须亲吻某人。

不能亲吻罗斯。你得到了历史。

>> 那么

>> 那么你更愿意让谁亲吻

你？我还是钱德勒？

>> 哦，说得好。

>> 是的。

>> 3 2 1 新年快乐。

新年快乐。

>> 新年快乐。

>> 祝你新年快乐。

>> 你也是。新年快乐，乔伊。

>> 那么，这对你有什么帮助吗？

>> 哦，对不起。打扰一下。我们有这辆

购物车。

>> 是的，好吧，我的腰围是 24 英寸。你

失去了一些东西。快点。别挡我的路。

>> 对不起。你知道，也许我没有

说清楚。呃，这是我们的车。

>> 嘿嘿嘿。里面没有任何衣服

。

>> 嘿嘿嘿嘿。停止制定

条规则。

>> 我们走吧。快点。这是我的车。你

知道，我以为是

>> 好吧。听着，米蒂。如果你想要

这部分，你就必须带上我

。

>> 你看到了吗？

>> 你太棒了。

>> 一位全新的女性，女士们先生们。

>> 谢谢。谢谢。没有你我不可能

完成这件事。

>> 好的。嗯嗯，烘干机里还有更多衣服。

>> 好的。

对此我一直感到非常内疚

，因为我想成为

的好朋友。该死的，我是个好朋友。

所以闭嘴并闭上你的

眼睛。

你是一个好朋友。当然，今天早上

试镜，但我没有

得到它。

>> 但这是一个地狱般的吻。雷切尔是

一个非常幸运的女孩。

>> 最后。

>> 那是罗斯吗？

>> 是的，你可以透过

这些愚蠢的墙壁听到一切。

>> 听起来他和某人在一起。

>> 他可能独自一人。今天早上我听到

他做俯卧撑，然后与他的

三头肌交谈。

>> 等一下。我认为他是对的。

是的，我听到有人和

他在一起。

>> 盖勒博士。

>> 天哪，你太棒了。我什至没有

让你这么称呼我。

>> 天哪，那是查理。

>> 她和罗斯一起欺骗乔伊。

>> 哦，那个放荡的巨人。

>> 我对此不确定。

>> 是的，你说得对。这与我们无关

。

>> 不，我不确定这是

听到所有声音的最佳方式。有人给我一杯。

>> 不，我不会这样做，好吗？我

不会偷听我的朋友。

>> 哦，我爱巴巴多斯。

>> 我不敢相信我正在吻你。我

正在亲吻瑞秋。

>> 我知道。我就是她

>> 瑞秋和乔伊。这是瑞秋和乔伊。

什么？到这里来。

>> 哇哦。我的天啊。我喜欢这些

墙的薄度。

>> 谢谢。

哦，你呃你要去

>> 嗯，不能没有你，爱人。

>> 所以，

这是我的胸罩。

非常非常好。

好吧，过来吧。

我很高兴我们将拥有所有

性别。

你应该如此。我很弯。

>> 我现在要吻你了。

>> 如果我先吻你就不会。

[鼓掌]

好吧，我想已经没有什么可留下的了

我们要做的只是亲吻。

>> 来了。

>> 我们的初吻。

>> 好的。好的。好的。好的。美好的。你会

获胜吗？我不能和你发生性关系。

>> 为什么不呢？

>> 因为我爱莫妮卡。

>> 你是什么？

>> 爱。这是正确的。我爱她。我爱

她。

>> 我爱你，莫妮卡。

>> 我也爱你，钱德勒。

我只是以为你们在这么做。

我不知道你恋爱了。

>> 伙计，

，向菲比致敬。相当有

的竞争对手。

我可以说你的胸部还是

短。天哪，

>> 我们现在要切换回来。

>> 不，我们不是。我们不会离开。好吧，

你得在某个时候离开

，因为你们都有工作，一旦

你离开，我们就会把它调回来。

你无法阻止我们，

对吧，乔？

>> 我不知道。

>> 什么？我不想再搬家了。

>> 我不在乎。这是我们的公寓。

他们偷了。

>> 你偷了

我们的公寓。我们公平地两次赢得了那套公寓

，我现在就要拿回

它。我现在正在取回它

。

>> 好吧。

我们认为您可能会这样回应。

所以，我们有一个备用优惠。

>> 哦，不。不，不，没有更多优惠了。您

无法向我们提供任何内容。

>> 让我们保留公寓吧。

作为感谢，

雷切尔和我将亲吻一分钟。

完全值得。

>> 那是美好的一分钟。

>> 晚安。

>> 晚安。

>> 男人都是白痴。不。

>> 你能相信那个愚蠢的

居然把我们

的公寓拿回来了吗？

>> 这个想法真有趣。如果您在上次

就这样做了，那么根本就没有人需要移动

比赛之后

。

让我们假装这不是真的。

>> 是的。

>> 嘿，

>> 你在这里做什么？我一直

试图给你打电话。

>> 听。嗯

>> 哦，不。不不不，别说听。我知道

。听着，我已经说过了。听。

>> 对不起。

>> 我不明白。

>> 发生了什么？你

在桥下说的一切怎么样？

是的。嗯，

你知道，你应该忘记

我在桥下说的话。那天晚上我

说得疯了。我喝醉了

。

>> 你不喝酒。

>> 没错。我不

但我是我为你喝醉了。

>> 更糟。

>> 不过没关系。是的。所以，它不会

工作。

>> 为什么是因为我是

菲比的朋友？

>> 如果是的话，你会停止和她一起出去玩

吗？

不，不，我不能那样做。

>> 嗯，是的，这是因为菲比。

>> 所以，你知道，要么是她，要么是我。

>> 那么，呃，那么对不起。

>> 你知道，

你会很难

克服。

>> 我知道。

我不知道是因为我们

分手了还是什么，但你从来没有

看起来这么漂亮。

>> 真的吗？

[音乐]

小偷。

>> 是的，

>> 被锤击了。好吧，

你看起来不像罗斯的母亲。

>> 那他为什么要这么说呢？因为他

疯了。好的。他早些时候找到我

，并感谢我在《泰坦尼克号》中

的感人表演。

>> 我妈妈是对的。永远不会

结婚。

>> 你知道那是什么吗？

>> 谁不想要你？

>> 请。我是一位单亲妈妈，有一个

30 岁的儿子。

>> 我今天要结婚了。

早上好，罗斯。

>> 我今天要结婚了。

>> 是的，你是。

>> 你以为你知道我在这里吗？

>> 好吧，我以前从未对你这样做过

。

>> 不。

>> 那么，呃，你好吗？你怎么样你怎么样

好吗？

>> 是的。是的。你。

>> 哦，是的。是的。嗯嗯。

你

>> 我们做到了你。

>> 好吧，

我最好走了。

>> 哦，是的。绝对地。

>> 你能不看吗？

>> 我不想看。

>> 你怎么会不知道是哪一个呢？

>> 我的意思是，这令人难以置信。

>> 我是说，是吉娜吗？

>> 哪一位是吉娜？深色大发

搭配飞机耳环。

>> 不，不，不。那不是吉娜。那是

德娜。

>> 你瞧，你也分不清哪个是哪个

。

>> 我们没有和他们任何一个开玩笑。

[掌声]

>> 维罗妮卡。看，一定是维罗妮卡。

红裙子的女孩。我确实

把舌头伸进了她的喉咙里。

>> 那是我。

>> 哦，看。当我喝酒时，

有时我会变得有点过于

友好，我很抱歉。

>> 没关系。

>> 没关系。

>> 没关系。

我

>> 到我 31 岁的时候，我还没有做任何我想要

做的事情。

>> 比如什么？

>> 就像，好吧。我我我还没见过任何

葡萄牙人。我还没有经历过

完美的吻，也没有去过

狙击手学校。

小偷们，等等。听。呃，

闭上眼睛。

也许这是您可以从列表中划掉

的一件事。

>> 哦，是的。

>> 雷切尔在哪里？

>> 她和菲比带着脱衣舞娘去了

医院。

>> 你知道钱德勒吻了瑞秋吗？

>> 什么？这是什么时候的事？ 1987 年，

周末你们来学校看我。

>> 天哪，太疯狂了。

>> 是的，但这就像一百万年前

一样，所以没关系。

>> 嗯，这对我很重要。

>> 为什么？

>> 因为你亲吻瑞秋的那天晚上是

，也是我第一次

亲吻瑞秋的那天晚上。

>> 那天晚上你也吻了她吗？

>> 两个人在一晚。哇。我以为

她在鼻子

修好后变成了雪橇。

>> 说真的，这是在哪里发生的？好的。

当你告诉我她在

我们的房间昏倒后，我进去确认一下

她没事。她躺在我的

床上，全身都裹在别人的外套里。好吧，

我去吻她的额头，

你知道，但天太黑了，我

不小心碰到了她的嘴唇。我开始

想要离开，但后来我感觉到她

开始回吻我。虽然只有

秒，但已经很惊人了。现在

我发现是你先吻了她。

>> 哦，等等。你说她

在哪张床上？

>> 我的。我很确定我把她放在我的

床上。

>> 不，她肯定在我床上。

>> 为什么我要亲吻一个女孩然后把她

放在你的床上？

>> 那么，谁在我床上？

>>哦。哦。哦，

>> 不。不，不，

>> 你在一堆外套下面。

>> 我就是一堆外套。

>> 天哪。

你是我的午夜神秘吻者。

>> 你是我和瑞秋的初吻。

>> 你是我的初吻。

>> 我嫁给了什么？

[音乐]

[英语]

This kiss thing is definitely a problem.

Mr. Batty wants to see it again on

Monday. Man, I got to figure out what

I'm doing wrong. Oh, okay. Uh, one of

you girls come over here and kiss me.

>> Get it?

>> All right.

>> Hey, come on. I need your help here.

>> All right, I'll do it. I've kissed him

before. I can do it again.

>> See this? Huh? This is a friend.

>> Uh-huh. Let's go. Wait, I have gun.

>> Okay.

Good. Very good. Firm but tender. I'd

recommend you to a friend.

>> Then I don't know what it is. What's the

problem?

>> You know, maybe you're just not used to

kissing men. You know, maybe you just

tensed up a little bit. Maybe that's

what you need to work on.

>> Yeah, that makes sense.

over my dead body.

>> And I'll be using his dead body as a

shield.

>> Everybody, the ball is dropping.

>> The ball is dripping.

[Applause]

>> And the moment of joy is upon us.

>> Looks like that no date pack thing

worked out.

Everybody looks so happy. I hate that.

>> Not everybody's happy.

>> Hey, Bobby.

[Applause]

>> You know, I uh just thought I'd throw

this out here. I'm no math wiz, but I do

believe there are three girls and three

guys right here.

>> Oh, I don't feel like kissing anyone

tonight.

I can't kiss anyone. So, I'm kissing

everyone.

>> No, no, no. You can't kiss Ross. That's

your brother.

>> Oh, yeah.

>> Oh, perfect. Perfect. So, now

everybody's getting a kiss but me. All

right. Somebody kiss me.

>> Somebody kiss me. It's midnight.

Somebody kiss me. It's midnight. It's

one time.

>> Where is everybody?

>> Oh, it's already closed. Chris gave me

the keys to lock up. What is wrong? My

marriage I think my marriage is um it's

kind of over.

>> Oh no. Why?

>> Cuz Carol's a lesbian

>> and and I'm not one.

And apparently it's not a mix and match

situation.

>> Oh my god.

I don't believe it.

Oh, you poor bunny.

>> I'm an idiot.

I mean, I should have seen it. I mean,

Carol and I'd be out and she'd she'd see

some beautiful woman and and she'd be

Ross, you know, look at her. And I'd

think,

God, my wife is cool.

Hey, do you think that Susan person is

her lover?

>> Well, now I do.

>> Sorry.

>> 7 years.

I mean, we've been together seven years.

She's the only woman who's ever loved

me.

It's the only woman I I've ever

Oh,

>> this wouldn't have happened if I'd been

more nurturing or

I paid more attention or I

had a uterus.

>> I can't believe it.

>> I know. No, you know, you don't deserve

this. You don't, Ross. You're You're

really You're so good.

>> Thanks. And you're so sweet and you're

kind

[Applause]

[Music]

>> wait.

[Applause]

Wait, wait, wait. My My foot is stuck in

the pocket.

>> What?

>> Huh?

>> I can't get it out.

>> That's not something a girl wants to

hear.

>> No.

Don't start.

>> Ow.

>> What?

>> Stupid balls are in the way.

[Applause]

Oh, well,

that probably wouldn't have been the

most constructive solution.

>> You have chalk on your face.

>> Oh, Ross, you're right. I don't know why

I always thought this was real grass.

[Applause]

>> Honey, are you okay?

>> My wife's a lesbian.

>> Cool.

>> What took you so long?

>> I got caught up at work, but I'm

quitting tomorrow.

So, thanks for having me over,

>> Ra.

Peeps,

see you.

What the hell was that?

>> Probably some, you know, European

goodbye thing he picked up in London.

That's not European.

>> Huh? It felt French.

>> Hey. Oh, Ra, wait. Do you want to go to

a movie tonight?

>> Oh, you know what? I can't. I have to

have dinner with that Melissa girl.

>> Can I come?

>> I won't even talk. You just hear the

noise from my video camera.

>> What is this? What's going on?

>> Oh, can I tell it? Can I tell it? Well,

do you want to hear what actually

happened or Joey's lewd version? Joey's.

No. Hey, come on. I had this friend from

college and I made the stupid mistake of

telling Joey that one time she and I,

you know, kissed a little bit.

Yeah, I'm sure that happened.

It It did. Sure.

>> Hey, it happened.

Yeah, it was senior year in college. It

was after the Sigmakai luau and Melissa

and I got very drunk and we ended up

kissing

for several minutes.

>> Which means she had a couple spritzers

and a quick peck on the cheek.

>> Why are you taking this away from me?

>> Why is this so hard for you to believe?

>> Okay, I just I didn't know that you were

lesbian.

[Applause]

I'm not saying that I am a lesbian. I'm

just saying that this happened. Okay. It

just seems pretty wild. And you're, you

know, so vanilla.

Vanilla. I'm not vanilla. I've done lots

of crazy things. I mean, I I got I got

drunk and married in Vegas to Ross.

All right. You know what? If you don't

want to believe me about this, why don't

you just come with me to dinner tonight

and she will tell you.

>> Okay. All right. Yeah, cuz I just can't

picture it.

>> No, you should get inside my head.

>> Wow.

I mean, I had no idea that that was it.

>> What the hell was that? Just want to see

what all the fuss was about.

And I've had better.

>> We wanted to kiss at midnight, but

nobody else is going to. So, you know.

All right. I'll take care of it.

>> Joey.

>> 33. 32.

>> 31.

>> Ross. Listen. Who are you kissing at

midnight? Huh? Rachel or Phoebe?

>> What?

>> Well, you got to kiss someone. Can't

kiss your sister.

>> Well, who's going to kiss my sister?

>> Cha.

>> Oh, man.

>> Dude. Dude, who would you rather have

kiss your sister? Me or Chandler?

>> It's a good point.

>> Yeah. Uh, well, since I have that whole

history with Rachel, I guess Phoebe.

Okay, great. All right, peeps. Peeps,

listen. Ross wants to kiss you at

midnight.

>> So obvious. Why doesn't he just ask?

>> Rich. Ra, listen. I'm going to kiss you

at midnight.

>> What?

>> Well, everyone's got to kiss someone.

Can't kiss Ross. You got the history.

>> So

>> So who would you rather have kissing

you? Me or Chandler?

>> Oh, good point.

>> Yeah.

>> 3 2 1 Happy New Year.

Happy new year.

>> Happy new year.

>> Happy new year to you.

>> You, too. Happy New Year, Joey.

>> So, that do anything for you?

>> Oh, I'm sorry. Excuse me. We had this

cart.

>> Yeah, well, I had a 24 in waist. You

lose things. Come on. Get out of my way.

>> I'm sorry. You know, maybe I wasn't

being clear. Uh, this was our car.

>> Hey, hey, hey. There aren't any clothes

in it.

>> Hey, hey, hey, hey. Quit making up

rules.

>> Let's go. Come on. This is my car. You

know, I thought it

>> All right. Listen, Mity. If you want

this part, you're going to have to take

me with it.

>> Did you see that?

>> You were incredible.

>> A brand new woman, ladies and gentlemen.

>> Thank you. Thank you. I could not have

done this without you.

>> Okay. Um uh more clothes in the dryer.

>> All right.

I've been feeling incredibly guilty

about this because I want to be a good

friend. And damn it, I am a good friend.

So just just shut up and close your

eyes.

You are a good friend. Of course, the

audition was this morning and I didn't

get it.

>> But that was a hell of a kiss. Rachel is

a very lucky girl.

>> Finally.

>> Is that Ross?

>> Yeah, you can hear everything through

these stupid walls.

>> Sounds like he's with someone.

>> He could be alone. This morning I heard

him do push-ups and then talk to his

triceps.

>> Wait a minute. I think he's right.

Yeah, I hear someone else in there with

him.

>> Dr. Geller.

>> God, you're amazing. I didn't even have

to ask you to call me that.

>> Oh my god, that's Charlie.

>> She's cheating on Joey with Ross.

>> Oh, that tart floozy giant.

>> I'm not sure about this.

>> Yeah, you're you're right. This is none

of our business.

>> No, I'm not sure that is the best way to

hear everything. Someone get me a glass.

>> No, I'm not going to do this, okay? I'm

not going to eaves drop on my friend.

>> Oh, I love Barbados.

>> I can't believe I'm kissing you. I'm

kissing Rachel.

>> I know. I'm her.

>> Rachel and Joey. It's Rachel and Joey.

What? Get over here.

>> Whoa. Oh my god. I love how thin these

walls are.

>> Thank you.

Oh, you're uh you're going

>> um not without you, lover.

>> So,

this is my bra.

It's very, very nice.

Well, come here.

I'm very happy we're going to have all

the sex.

You should be. I'm very bendy.

>> I'm going to kiss you now.

>> Not if I kiss you first.

[Applause]

Well, I guess there's nothing left for

us to do but but kiss.

>> Here it comes.

>> Our first kiss.

>> Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Fine. Will you

win? I can't have sex with you.

>> And why not?

>> Because I'm in love with Monica.

>> You're what?

>> Love. That's right. I love her. I love

her.

>> I love you, Monica.

>> I love you, too, Chandler.

I just I thought you guys were doing it.

I didn't know you were in love.

>> Dude,

and hats off to Phoebe. Quite a

competitor.

And may I say your breasts are still

short. God,

>> we are switching back right now.

>> No, we're not. We're not leaving. Well,

you're going to have to leave sometime

because you both have jobs and as soon

as you do, we're switching it back.

There's nothing you can do to stop us,

right, Joe?

>> I don't know.

>> What? I don't want to move again. And

>> I don't care. This is our apartment. And

they stole.

>> You stole

our apartment. We won that apartment

fair and square twice and I am getting

it back right now. I'm getting it back

right now.

>> All right.

We figured you might respond this way.

So, we have a backup offer.

>> Oh, no. No. No. No more offers. You

can't offer anything to us.

>> Let us keep the apartment.

And as a thank you,

Rachel and I will kiss for one minute.

Totally worth it.

>> That was one good minute.

>> Good night.

>> Good night.

>> Men are such idiots. No.

>> Could you believe something that stupid

actually got us our apartment there

back?

>> That's so funny to think. If you had

just done that right after the last

contest, no one would have had to move

at all.

Let's pretend that's not true.

>> Yeah.

>> Hey,

>> what are you doing here? I've been

trying to call you.

>> Listen. Um

>> Oh, no. No, no, don't say listen. I know

that. Listen, I've said that. Listen.

>> I'm sorry.

>> I don't get it.

>> What happened? What about everything you

said under the bridge?

Yeah. Um,

you know, you you should just forget

about what I said under the bridge. I

was talking crazy that night. I was so

drunk.

>> You don't drink.

>> That's right. I don't

But I was I was drunk on you.

>> Worse.

>> But okay. Yeah. So, it's not going to

work.

>> Why is it because I'm friends with

Phoebe?

>> If it was, would you stop hanging out

with her?

No, no, I I couldn't do that.

>> Um, then yeah, it's cuz of Phoebe.

>> So, you know, it's either her or me.

>> Then, uh, then I'm sorry.

>> You know,

you're going to be really, really hard

to get over.

>> I know.

I don't know whether it's just cuz we're

breaking up or what, but you have never

looked so beautiful.

>> Really?

[Music]

thieves.

>> Yeah,

>> was hammered. Okay, there's no way that

you look like Ross's mother.

>> Then why would he say it? because he's

crazy. Okay. He came up to me earlier

and thanked me for my very moving

performance in Titanic.

>> My mother's right. Never going to get

married.

>> You know what that is?

>> Who wouldn't want you?

>> Please. I'm a single mom with a

30-year-old son.

>> I'm getting married today.

Morning, Ros.

>> I'm getting married today.

>> Yeah, you are.

>> You think you knew I was here?

>> Well, I've I've never done that with you

before.

>> Nope.

>> So, uh, how are you? How you how you you

okay?

>> Yep. Yep. you.

>> Oh, yes. Yes. Uh-huh.

You

>> We did you.

>> Well,

I better get going.

>> Oh, yeah. Absolutely.

>> Could you not look?

>> I don't want to look.

>> How can you not know which one?

>> I mean, that's unbelievable.

>> I mean, was it Gina?

>> Which one is Gina? The dark big hair

with the airplane earrings.

>> No, no, no. That's not Gina. That's

Dena.

>> You see, you can't tell which is which

either.

>> We didn't fool around with any of them.

[Applause]

>> Veronica. Look, it's got to be Veronica.

The girl in the red skirt. I definitely

stuck my tongue down her throat.

>> That was me.

>> Oh, look. When I've been drinking,

sometimes I tend to get a little overly

friendly and I'm I'm sorry.

>> That's okay.

>> That's all right.

>> That's okay.

I

>> haven't done any of the things I wanted

to do by the time I was 31.

>> Like what?

>> Like, okay. I I I haven't met any

Portuguese people. I I haven't had the

perfect kiss, and I haven't been to

sniper school.

Thieves, wait. Listen. Uh,

close your eyes.

Maybe that's one thing you can cross off

your list.

>> Oh, yeah.

>> Where's Rachel?

>> She and Phoebe took the stripper to the

hospital.

>> Did you know Chandler kissed Rachel?

>> What? When When was this? 1987, the

weekend you guys visited me at school.

>> Oh my god, that's wild.

>> Yeah, but it was like a million years

ago, so it doesn't matter.

>> Well, it matters to me.

>> Why?

>> Because the night you kissed Rachel was

the night I kissed Rachel for the very

first time.

>> You kissed her that night, too?

>> Two guys in one night. Wow. I thought

she became a sled after she got her nose

fixed.

>> Seriously, where did this happen? Okay.

After you told me she was passed out in

our room, I went in there to make sure

she was all right. She was lying on my

bed all buried in people's coats. Well,

I I went to kiss her on the forehead,

you know, but it was so dark I

accidentally got her lips. I I started

to pull away, but then I I felt her

start to kiss me back. It was only for a

second, but it was amazing. And now now

I find out that you kissed her first.

>> Oh, wait. What bed did you say she was

on?

>> Mine. I'm pretty sure I put her on my

bed.

>> No, she was definitely on my bed.

>> Why would I kiss a girl and then put her

on your bed?

>> Well, then who was on my bed?

>> Oh. Oh. Oh,

>> no. No, no,

>> you were under the pile of coats.

>> I was the pile of coats.

>> Oh my god.

You were my midnight mystery kisser.

>> You were my first kiss with Rachel.

>> You were my first kiss ever.

>> What did I marry into?

[Music]

重点词汇

词汇	含义
kiss /kɪs/ A1	noun - 亲吻 verb - 亲吻
lesbian /ˈlɛz.bi.ən/ B2	noun - 女同性恋者 adjective - 女同性恋的
midnight /ˈmɪd.naɪt/ B1	noun - 午夜 adjective - 午夜的
apartment /əˈpɑːrt.mənt/ B1	noun - 公寓
marriage /ˈmær.ɪdʒ/ B2	noun - 婚姻
friend /frɛnd/ A1	noun - 朋友
problem /ˈprɒb.ləm/ A2	noun - 问题
drunk /drʌŋk/ B1	adjective - 醉的 noun - 酒醉者
tender /ˈtɛn.dər/ B2	adjective - 温柔的
tensed /tɛnst/ B2	verb (past participle) - 紧张的
quick /kwɪk/ A1	adjective - 快的
hard /hɑːrd/ A2	adjective - 困难的
guilty /ˈɡɪl.ti/ B2	adjective - 有罪的
vanilla /vəˈnɪl.ə/ C1	adjective (informal) - 普通的、缺乏创意的
eavesdrop /ˈiːv.z.drɒp/ C1	verb - 偷听
constructive /kənˈstrʌk.tɪv/ C1	adjective - 建设性的
beautiful /ˈbjuː.tɪ.fəl/ B1	adjective - 美丽的