[Music]
00:00
You don't have to stop having fun just
00:09
because I'm here. Kathy didn't cheat on
00:11
all of you.
00:13
Well, except you.
00:16
[Laughter]
00:21
Hey, Joey. I don't think that you should
00:27
leave Chander alone. I mean, it's only
00:29
been two days since you broke up with
00:31
Kathy. Maybe you can go fishing next
00:32
week. Look, there's nothing I can do for
00:33
him right now. He's still in his
00:35
sweatpants. That's only phase one.
00:36
I'll be back for phase two. I would
00:40
never miss phase two. What's phase two?
00:42
Getting drunk and going to a strip club.
00:46
How does going to a strip club make him
00:50
better? There are naked ladies there.
00:52
Oh, and it helps him get to phase three,
00:55
picturing yourself with other women.
00:56
There are naked ladies there, too. Yeah.
00:58
Would you give me one minute, please?
01:02
Welcome everybody. Welcome to Amazing
01:07
Discovery.
01:10
Oh. Oh, I thought again. You guys can
01:12
please not watch this. Whatever.
01:14
Folks, this ever happened to you? You go
01:16
to the refrigerator, get a nice glass of
01:18
milk, but these darn cartons are so
01:20
flinging flanging hard to open. Well,
01:22
you said it, Mike. I don't
01:24
There's got to be a better way. And
01:28
there is. Kevin,
01:30
can we please turn this off? No way.
01:32
Kevin, what if I told you that there's a
01:34
revolutionary new product that
01:37
guarantees you'll never have to open up
01:38
milk cartons again. Meet the Milk Master
01:41
2000.
01:44
Are you intrigued? You're flinging.
01:47
Flinging right. I
01:49
am. It's his first time. He's never used
01:50
this product before. You're going to see
01:53
how easy this is to do. Go ahead. This
01:54
works in any milk carton. Wow, it is
01:57
easy. Now I can have milk every day.
01:59
10 blocks down, five to go. Oh, wait.
02:06
Stop. Stop. Stop. Oh, I'm sorry. Do you
02:10
need a break?
02:12
My boots in tan. Hey, can you get a
02:15
little closer so I can see the price? I
02:17
can see it from right here. It'll cost
02:19
you one husband.
02:21
Okay, I'm sorry. I think I I can walk
02:24
the rest of the way now. Just Just give
02:25
me my boots.
02:26
I don't have your boots. Well, I don't
02:29
have them either. Where are they? Well,
02:31
why don't you check in one of my saddle
02:33
bags while I chew on a bail of hay?
02:34
Okay, go. We got to go back and get
02:39
them. Honey, are you seriously ever
02:42
going to wear the boots again?
02:44
Okay, I'm never going to wear them
02:46
again. Just didn't get a chance to say
02:48
goodbye.
02:50
You know what? You can say goodbye to
02:52
the tan ones. Okay.
02:54
All right.
02:57
Okay.
02:59
Bye, Boots. Wait. Half off.
03:01
Hi.
03:06
[Applause]
03:07
How was the honeymoon? Oh, incredible.
03:09
Oh, champagne, candle at dinners,
03:12
moonlight walks on the beach. It was so
03:15
romantic. So, where's Mike? Oh, he's
03:17
with the doctor. He didn't poop the
03:20
whole time over there.
03:21
Well, anyway, I'm glad you're back. I
03:25
really need your help. Oh, why? What's
03:26
up? Well, I have an audition for this
03:28
play, and for some of it, I have to
03:29
speak French, which according to my
03:31
resume, I'm fluent in.
03:33
Joey, you shouldn't lie on your resume.
03:35
Yeah, you really shouldn't. By the way,
03:38
how was that year-long dig in Cairo?
03:40
It was okay.
03:44
I did not know you spoke French.
03:47
You're so sexy.
03:54
Well, so will you help me? I really want
03:56
to be in this play. Sure.
03:57
Seriously, stop it. I want to jump on
04:02
you.
04:03
Presenting the award for favorite
04:05
returning male character is Mackenzie.
04:07
This is it. This is this my category. Oh
04:09
my god. Do you have speech? Yep. Got my
04:10
speech. Did you got your gracious loser
04:12
face? Yep. I know. No, Charlie.
04:13
Remember, if you win, you have to hug
04:17
me. You hug me. Okay. They say, "Can I
04:19
squeeze your ass?"
04:20
On TV, proven that this is not always.
04:24
In the category of favorite returning
04:27
male character, the nominees are John
04:29
Wheeler from General Hospital,
04:32
Gavin Graham from The Young and the
04:36
Restless, Duncan Harrington from
04:39
Passions, and Joey Tribani from Days of
04:42
Our Lives.
04:45
And the Sophie goes
04:48
to Gavin Graham from The Young and the
04:52
[Applause]
04:54
[Applause]
05:02
Restless. I'd like to toast Ross and
05:04
Emily. Of course, my big toast will be
05:06
tomorrow at the wedding. So, this is
05:09
kind of my little toast or or Melba
05:10
toast, if you will.
05:12
Okay, I've known Ross for a long time.
05:17
In fact, I knew him when he was going
05:20
out with his first girlfriend, and I
05:22
thought things were really going to work
05:24
out for him until the day he
05:25
overinflated
05:26
her. Oh, dear
05:31
God. I'm sure we're all very excited uh
05:34
that Ross and Emily are getting married
05:37
at Montgomery Hall. I mean, to think my
05:38
friend getting married in Monty Hall.
05:41
Oh, come on. My money wall. Let's make a
05:44
deal. Come on, you people.
05:46
All right, forget it. Congratulations,
05:49
W. Hey, best man number two, Joey
05:55
Triani. Now, I'm not good with the jokes
05:59
like Chandler here, but I just want to
06:01
point out I never did anything to hurt
06:03
you in high school. That's not totally
06:05
true. What? What? Well, you you did
06:08
start that rumor about Ross making out
06:12
with Mrs. Altman, our 50year-old
06:14
librarian.
06:16
How did you know that?
06:19
It's true.
06:24
No.
06:26
Yes, it is. I saw you guys going at it
06:28
behind the card catalog.
06:30
I'm sorry. When you were in high school,
06:33
you made out with a 50-year-old woman.
06:35
Hey, she didn't look 50. Did she look
06:37
16?
06:40
Oh, there's a picture of her in the
06:42
yearbook, actually. Oh,
06:43
wow. She didn't photograph. Well,
06:46
well, she probably wasn't familiar with
06:50
the process, having spent most of her
06:52
life sitting for oil paintings.
06:54
So, how did this happen? Did she Did she
06:58
lure you to an early bird dinner?
07:00
Hey, pal.
07:06
Eddie, what are you still doing here?
07:10
Uh, just some basic dehydrating of a few
07:12
fruits and vegetables. Man, alive. This
07:14
thing's fantastic.
07:16
Look, Eddie, aren't you forgetting
07:19
anything? Oh, yeah. That's right. Look,
07:20
I got us a new goldfish. He's a lot
07:22
feistier than the last one. Yeah, maybe
07:24
because the last one was made by
07:26
Peppidge
07:27
Farm. Look, Eddie, isn't there something
07:29
else you're supposed to be doing right
07:32
now? Well, unless it's got something to
07:33
do with dehydrating, my man. Cuz right
07:35
now I'm a dehydrating maniac.
07:37
Look, you have to help me out here. I
07:42
thought we had a deal. I thought by the
07:43
time I got You know what that is?
07:44
Your last roommate's
07:48
kidney. That's a That's a
07:49
tomato. This one definitely goes in the
07:52
display.
07:54
You know, you called me that before. So,
08:01
I I took the liberty of fashioning a
08:03
star out of aluminum foil. Now, no
08:05
pressure. You like my cookies, you give
08:07
me the star.
08:09
Wow, a
08:16
star. I know you all hate me and and I'm
08:18
sorry, but I don't care.
08:21
Okay, Joey, you're up next.
08:24
Oh my god, this is amazing. You get an
08:29
A. I got an
08:33
A in school. Hey, I'm a dork.
08:36
Joey, I'm so proud of you. I think you
08:41
should give him your star. Excuse me.
08:43
He doesn't even know what he's doing.
08:48
We're all beginners here. Nobody knows
08:49
what they're doing. I do. I'm a
08:51
professional chef. Oh, relax. It's not a
08:53
courtroom drama.
08:56
If you're a professional chef, what are
08:58
you doing taking introduction to
09:00
cooking? Yeah.
09:01
Hi. I need those earrings you borrowed.
09:05
Oh. Um, okay. Yeah, I'll be I'll be
09:10
right back. Okay.
09:13
Wow. Fees, you speak Italian, I guess
09:24
so.
09:26
There you go. Thank you. Wait, Ra,
09:31
where's the other one? Oh, wait. You
09:33
want both of
09:34
them? Rachel Karen Green, where's the
09:36
other earring? Okay. Okay. Okay. Look,
09:38
just don't freak out, but I kind of lost
09:40
it. Oh, I know it's in the apartment,
09:42
but I definitely lost it. What am I
09:44
going to tell Monica? She wants to wear
09:47
them tonight. I don't know. Tell her to
09:49
wear her own earrings. These are her
09:51
earrings. No. No. You lent me Monica's
09:53
earrings. I'm not allowed to borrow her
09:57
stuff.
09:59
Why not? Because I lose her stuff.
10:01
Okay. Okay. Here's a good one of us.
10:05
Wow, that is a good one. Wow. It looks
10:07
like a like a holiday card, you know,
10:10
with the tree in the middle and the the
10:11
skaters and the snow. You know, every
10:13
year I say I'm going to send out holiday
10:16
cards and I never do it. Do you want to
10:17
do you want to send this one out
10:19
together?
10:20
Together? I like to to people.
10:26
Yeah. You know, happy holidays from Mona
10:29
and Ross. It'll be cute. Okay.
10:31
Okay.
10:34
Oh, I got to get to work, so call me
10:36
later. Oh, sure. Sure. Bye, guys. Bye.
10:38
Congratulations. You just got married.
10:44
No. Can you believe that? Wait, I'm I'm
10:48
sorry. What's the big deal about a
10:50
holiday card? Married couples send out
10:52
cards. Families send out cards. People
10:54
who have been dating for a couple of
10:57
months do not send out card. What? What?
10:58
Is she crazy? Hey, hey, hey. That's your
11:00
wife you're talking about.
11:02
Someone in there?
11:08
No, this is just part of a daredevil
11:10
game that I played called Wait until the
11:12
last moment before I burst and
11:14
die. Jeez, man. Did you fall
11:16
high? So, uh, did you did did you fall
11:20
high?
11:23
Someone was in the ladies room. I
11:25
couldn't wait. I left the lid up for
11:26
you, though.
11:28
You know what? Uh, got the Go. Uh, go
11:32
ahead. I'm I'm talking to
11:34
uh this is the part where you'd say your
11:37
name. Ginger. Ginger. I'm talking to
11:39
Ginger. So,
11:42
don't you have to use the bathroom?
11:47
Nope. Nope. I just uh I'd rather uh talk
11:49
to you.
11:53
Yes, I do.
11:54
Yes, I do have to go to the bathroom.
11:56
Someone in here.
12:00
Hello.
12:05
[Music]
12:07
Emma.
12:09
Hey.
12:14
Hi. How are you? How are you? Where are
12:17
your babysitters? Huh?
12:21
Why is the bedroom door closed?
12:24
You can't have sex when you're taking
12:33
care of a bie.
12:35
Well, that was weird. You were loud and
12:41
I was fast.
12:43
I think you may have really done it this
12:45
time. Oh, I wish I didn't have to wait
12:47
to take a pregnancy test.
12:49
May want to get some more of those, too.
12:51
Where's Emma? Oh my god. Where's Emma?
12:56
Where's Emma? Don't ask me. I was in
13:00
there canoodling you.
13:02
Hey. Hi. Sorry I'm late. Did I miss
13:05
anything? Oh, Joey stuffing 15 Oreos in
13:08
his mouth.
13:11
15? Your personal best.
13:13
So, where were you? Oh, on a date. Yeah.
13:21
I met this girl on the train going to a
13:24
museum upstate. Oh, yeah. How did you
13:26
meet? Museum.
13:28
No. Answer his.
13:30
Okay. It was just me and her at the back
13:33
of the train and I sat near the door so
13:35
she'd have to pass by me if she wanted
13:37
to like switch cars. She was totally at
13:39
my mercy. Were you so late because you
13:42
were burying this woman?
13:44
Well, I'm getting back now because she
13:47
lives in Pikipsy. She seems really
13:48
great, but she's like 2 and 1/2 hours
13:50
away. How can she be great if she's from
13:52
Pikipsy?
13:54
Okay, that joke would have killed in
13:57
Albany.
13:59
Done. I did it. Huh? Who's stupid now,
14:01
huh?
14:04
Hi, you guys. Hey. Hey. What's the
14:06
matter? Well, it's just it's one of
14:09
these situations that I just hate. You
14:10
know, a massage client gave me three
14:13
tickets to the helmet pelts exhibit at
14:15
the Morgan Chase Museum. Now you're
14:17
thinking you got to sleep with him.
14:19
No, no, it's just that he gave me three
14:22
tickets and there are six of us. I'll
14:24
give up my ticket. Me, too.
14:26
Okay, that's so generous. And I think
14:29
Ross is generous, too.
14:31
Great. Okay, then it's just us girls.
14:34
Great. Yeah.
14:36
So, what what is the exhibit? It's
14:39
mostly just photographs of um lesbian
14:41
love scenes interspersed with video
14:44
games and free sandwiches.
14:47
Oh man, what's
14:52
Hey, Ross. Listen, Chandler got you out
15:00
of going to the lesbian sandwich museum
15:02
this weekend.
15:04
Hey, Chad, look at the window. There's
15:05
my name. Hi, me.
15:08
I remember the day I got my first
15:12
paycheck. There was a cave-in in one of
15:14
the mines and eight people were killed.
15:16
Wow. You worked in a mine? I worked in a
15:20
Dairy Queen mine.
15:23
God, isn't this exciting? I earned this.
15:28
I wiped tables for it. I steamed milk
15:31
for it. And it was
15:33
totally not worth
15:35
it. Where's Fica? Why is he getting all
15:37
my money?
15:40
I mean, what, Chandler? Look at that.
15:43
Oh, this is not that bad. Oh, you're
15:47
fine. Yeah, for a first job. You can
15:50
totally totally live on this. Oh, yeah.
15:53
Yeah. Hey, by the way, great service
15:57
today.
16:00
I'm here for Thanksgiving. I know it's
16:04
sick. Why is it sick? Because it's
16:07
Richard's son. It's like inviting a
16:09
Greek tragedy over for dinner.
16:11
Hey, come on, people. You understand,
16:15
don't you? Yeah, I could see where I'd
16:16
be your best shot, but no.
16:18
Sorry, honey. I think it's twisted.
16:22
Yeah. What's twisted? Me going out with
16:24
Richard's son.
16:26
Ew, ew, ew, ew.
16:30
Sounds like a really bad idea to me.
16:33
Is he okay in there? He's fine.
16:38
Hey, you know, man, if things work out
16:43
between you and Richard's son, you'll be
16:44
able to tell your kids that you slept
16:46
with her grandfather.
16:48
Fine. Judge all you want to, but married
16:52
a lesbian, left a man at the altar, fell
16:54
in love with a gay ice dancer, threw a
16:56
girl's wooden leg in the fire, live in a
16:58
box.
16:59
Boss, what are you talking? Oh my god,
17:04
they put my baby's face on a penis.
17:07
Now it's a party.
17:13
You guys, this isn't funny. All right,
17:16
if I wanted this cake to be a disaster,
17:18
I would have baked it myself.
17:19
Uh, is it okay that I still think it
17:22
looks delicious?
17:24
Look at this. I know what you're
17:30
thinking, Judy. The resemblance is
17:32
uncanny.
17:34
I am this close to tugging on my
17:39
testicles again.
17:41
No. No. This is not what I ordered.
17:44
Okay. I went all the way to New Jersey
17:47
so that I could have the perfect cake
17:49
for my daughter's birthday. And I need a
17:51
bunny cake right now. Ask him if it
17:53
would be faster if we cut the baby's
17:56
face off the penis so we could put it on
17:58
the bunny.
18:01
That is a weird
18:02
[Music]
18:06
sentence. Kathy. Kathy. Hi, Kathy.
18:11
Kathy.
18:17
[Music]
18:19
catch
18:33
it. Copy. Cabie.
18:37
[Music]
18:42
Hey, Chandler. What are you doing here?
18:54
I just want to say hey.
18:58
Hey.
19:01
Okay.
19:03
Hey, listen, man. About the stripper.
19:05
Yeah. Good call.
19:08
Okay. Little announcement. Little
19:11
announcement. I have decided that my
19:14
best man is my best friend, Gunther.
19:16
What's my last name?
19:21
Central Perk.
19:25
Thanks for not marrying Rachel.
19:28
Hey. Who? Hey, Gunther. Don't Don't
19:31
forget your shirt.
19:32
Hey. Hey. What are those? Got little
19:35
party favors. Check it out.
19:37
Wow.
19:39
Yeah. Oh.
19:41
A little announcement. Want everybody to
19:45
know the position of my best man is
19:48
still open and uh you know so is the
19:50
position of the bride.
19:54
Great.
19:57
Smooth, man. Yeah. You got some chili on
19:59
your neck.
20:00
Let's give Pete a chance. Come on. He
20:03
was funny. He seems really nice. And
20:05
that check thing was adorable. What
20:07
check thing? As a joke, this customer at
20:09
work who has a crush on me gave me a
20:13
$20,000 tip. His number's on the check.
20:14
He just did it so I'd call. Pete Becker.
20:17
Pete.
20:20
Is this him? That's Bill Clinton.
20:28
Who's he hugging?
20:33
Oh my god. That's Pete. Why is Bill
20:37
hugging Pete? This guy embedded Moss
20:40
865. Every office in the world uses that
20:42
program. We use it. There you go.
20:45
Oh my god. Monica's going to go out with
20:49
a millionaire. No, I'm not going to go
20:51
out with him. Oh my god. I can't believe
20:53
this is a real $20,000 Jericho. This is
20:55
just so exciting.
20:57
Or incredibly offensive. Well, yeah,
20:59
sure. That, too.
21:02
Oh, I'm sorry. Excuse me. We had this
21:05
cart. Yeah, well, I had a 24 in waist.
21:08
You lose things. Come on. Get out of my
21:12
way. I'm sorry. You know, maybe I wasn't
21:14
being clear. Uh, this was our car. Hey,
21:17
hey, hey. There weren't any clothes in
21:19
it. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Quit making up
21:21
rules. Let go. Come on. This my first.
21:23
All right. Listen, Minty. If you want
21:28
this cart, you're going to have to take
21:29
me with it.
21:31
[Laughter]
21:33
Did you see that? You were incredibly a
21:41
brand new woman, ladies and
21:44
gentlemen. You think I could not have
21:45
done this without you?
21:48
Okay. Um uh more clothes in the dryer, I
21:55
guess. I'm fine. Worst thing can happen
22:01
on anniversary ever. Oh, good. All
22:03
right. You decided to tell about the
22:05
Richard.
22:06
What? What Richard thinks? Oh no.
22:11
What Richard think? Simmons. Go with
22:16
Simmons.
22:18
[Music]
22:24
Okay. I um I ran into Richard yesterday
22:25
and he asked me if I wanted to go for a
22:28
bite and I did. And the only reason why
22:31
I didn't tell you is because I I knew
22:33
you'd get mad and I didn't want to spoil
22:35
our anniversary.
22:36
I'm not mad.
22:38
Really? Oh, yeah. Yeah. So, you you
22:43
bumped into Richard. You grabbed a bite.
22:45
No big deal.
22:50
Great.
22:55
Okay, London won. I did it. I finished
23:00
it. I did it all by myself. And there's
23:04
nobody to hug.
23:08
Hey. Hey, you guys. I finished the
23:18
crossroad all by myself. Hug me. Yay.
23:20
Congratulations. Thank you. Hey, how'd
23:25
the catering go? Oh, it was great. The
23:27
widow wouldn't pay, so Phoebe yelled at
23:30
her till she did. Yeah, I'm a hard ass
23:32
and I'm a wuss.
23:36
Yeah, we should be partners. Yeah, hard
23:39
ass and wuss. We could fight crime.
23:41
Wait a minute,
23:45
Phoebe. We should be partners. We should
23:46
be catering partners. I mean, think
23:50
about it. You're not working right now
23:52
and we have such a great time together.
23:53
Okay, I can cook and you can take care
23:56
of the money. Yeah. Oh, it'll be like I
23:57
have a wife in the 50s.
23:59
What? I just realized why I remember
24:02
this place. Really? What is it? Oh, it's
24:05
nothing. I went on a date with a guy who
24:08
lived in this building and it didn't end
24:09
very well.
24:11
That wouldn't by any chance be Joey
24:12
Tribani. Yes, of course it was.
24:15
Yeah. We had a really great night and in
24:20
the morning he promised he would call me
24:22
and he didn't. Rat bastard.
24:23
So, you're not friends with him? Oh,
24:28
god. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.
24:29
Nope. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.
24:32
No. No.
24:34
No.
24:37
Well, I'm sorry I brought it up. So, are
24:40
either one of you planning on staying at
24:44
home with me?
24:45
Hello. Anybody in there? Order a
24:47
celebrity.
24:50
What was that? Oh, that's just some
24:54
crazy guy who roams the halls
24:56
here. He's great with kids, though. Oh
24:58
my god. Joey Trivani from Days of Our
25:01
Lives. just walked in here. Ra, he's a
25:04
friend of ours. You are friends with Dr.
25:08
Drake Remor?
25:11
It's kind of hard to be friends with
25:14
Drake because of his busy schedule and
25:15
the fact that he's not real.
25:18
Hey. Hey. Or I could bring my keyboard
25:21
here sometime. He's coming. He's coming
25:24
over, Joey. I know. Here. Here.
25:26
Oh, no. This is my friend Rachel. We
25:29
went to high school together.
25:33
I
25:36
I love you on that show. I watch you
25:38
every day. I mean, when you took out
25:41
your own kidney to save your ex-wife,
25:44
even though she tried to kill you.
25:46
Well, it's always nice to meet the fans.
25:49
She's not crazy, is she?
25:52
So, uh, how are you doing?
25:55
Hi. Hi,
25:59
Rachel. What's she doing here?
26:01
I have no idea.
26:04
Um, I'll be watching TV if anybody needs
26:07
me.
26:09
Seriously, what is she doing? Uh, you
26:11
know, lately she just likes hanging out
26:13
here.
26:15
Why? I think she's lonely.
26:17
Okay, but it's Valentine's Day. Can't we
26:20
just ask her to go? Well, no. No, she's
26:23
way too emotional. And by emotional, I
26:26
mean Christy.
26:29
I'm not here. That's just my Chinese
26:34
food. Oh my god. She has food delivered
26:36
here. Mhm. Yes. She's She's emotional
26:38
but but ballsy.
26:41
You know what I'm going to do? I'm going
26:45
to get in my sweats and eat this in bed.
26:47
And you thought she was going to be in
26:53
our
26:54
way. So, okay. Why don't you uh open the
26:56
champagne and I will be right back. I've
27:00
got a surprise for you. You got another
27:02
ex-wife back there.
27:04
So, did he get on one knee? Did Did he
27:07
have a speech prepared? Oh, did he cry?
27:09
Yeah. Big surprise. I like proposals.
27:14
Well, it was really sweet and like the
27:18
most romantic thing ever. Well, hey.
27:20
Well, here's Tibbe who's found the
27:22
greatest guy in the world. To Phoebe and
27:24
I want to say Mike.
27:27
To Phoebe and Mike.
27:30
Thank you. Oh, and I have something for
27:32
you. It's Yeah, it's my little black
27:35
book. It's got the numbers of all the
27:37
guys I've dated.
27:38
Oh, Benny, that's nice. But you know
27:40
what? I think I'm okay. Why don't you
27:43
give it to one of your other single
27:44
girlfriends? I would, but you're the
27:45
last one.
27:47
Give me the book.
27:50
Pablo Diaz, Brady
27:53
[Music]
27:56
Smith, guy in van. Oh, my first love.
27:57
What does the red X next to Bob
28:03
Griemore's name mean? Dead.
28:05
H. Funny story. I bumped into Joanna on
28:08
the street yesterday.
28:11
My boss Joanna. Wow, that must have been
28:12
awkward. Well, no, actually, she asked
28:15
me if I wanted to get a drink.
28:17
You uh didn't say yes to that, did you?
28:20
No. No. Hello, Rachel.
28:24
Well, not at
28:32
first. What is she doing here?
28:34
I don't understand. Last time you went
28:43
out with her, you said she was a big
28:44
doll dud. Well, I think I judged her too
28:46
quickly. And this time we were able to
28:47
take the relationship to the next level.
28:49
Well, last time I almost got fired. You
28:55
must end it. You must end it now. Oh,
28:57
come on. It's not like this is an
28:59
everyday occurrence for me. I mean,
29:00
usually I'm pretty much just in there by
29:02
myself.
29:03
I I I want to thank you all for coming.
29:13
My family and my friends.
29:17
Woohoo. I'd really like to say that I'm
29:23
um You know what I'd really like to
29:27
say? I'm drunk.
29:31
That's right, mom and dad. Your little
29:36
mara is
29:39
hammered. And guess what? I've been
29:43
drunk
29:46
before and I've smoked a
29:47
cigarette. You know what? You know
29:51
what? It's all okay. It's okay because I
29:53
turned 30
29:57
today and I could do anything I
29:59
want because I am a grownup.
30:02
What? Nothing. Nothing. Just your over
30:10
coat sounds remarkably like Brent
30:12
Musberger. Check it out. Giants Cowboys.
30:15
You're watching a football game at a
30:19
funeral. No, it's the pregame. I'm going
30:21
to watch it at the reception.
30:23
You are a frightening, frightening man.
30:26
Oh no, my new Paulo shoes. Oh, I hope
30:30
they're not
30:33
ruined. You okay? God, what a great
30:37
day. What? Weatherwise,
30:41
I know
30:45
you the air, the the
30:46
trees, even though Nana's gone, there's
30:49
there's something almost uh I don't
30:52
know, almost like
30:54
I'm fine. I'm fine.
30:59
Just just having my worst fear realized,
31:02
but
31:05
you guys are so cute. I know.
31:07
All right. I'll see you tomorrow. Okay.
31:11
Okay.
31:13
[Music]
31:14
You know, I love doing crossword puzzles
31:26
with you, honey. Me, too. Now, let's
31:28
finish this and go to bed. Okay, there's
31:31
only one left. Threeletter word. Not
31:34
dog, but
31:37
cat.
31:40
Yes. You are so smart.
31:43
I love you. I love you, too.
31:48
Hey everybody, happy Thanksgiving. No,
32:05
no, no, no, no, no. What are we keeping
32:07
Thanksgiving a secret this year? No. We
32:10
are playing this game I learned at work.
32:13
You have to name all the states in six
32:14
minutes. What? That's like insanely
32:17
easy. No, it's a lot harder than it
32:19
sounds. You always forget at least one
32:21
or in some
32:23
cases 14.
32:24
It's a stupid game and I wasn't playing
32:27
against other people, so technically I
32:29
didn't lose. What? You forgot 14 states?
32:30
Nobody cares about the Dakotas.
32:34
Oh, okay. Time's up. All right. I got
32:38
48. Oh, that's not bad, babe. Oh, I got
32:40
tired of naming states, so I decided to
32:43
list the types of
32:45
celery. And I have one regular celery.
32:47
Okay, so Rachel's got 48 and Phoebe has
32:52
the lead
32:54
in vegetables. Joey, say hello to the
32:56
new champ of Chandler's dumb states
33:00
game. Wow. How many you got? 56.
33:02
Hey, thieves. Guess who we saw today?
33:08
Oh. Oh, fun. Okay. Um, Liam Niss. No.
33:10
Where are we safer? Nope. The woman who
33:14
cuts my hair. Okay. Look, this could be
33:16
a really long game. Your sister Ursula.
33:18
Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. She works over
33:21
at that place. Uh, Griff. Yeah, I know.
33:24
Oh, you do? Because she said you guys
33:26
haven't talked in like years. Mhm. Yeah.
33:28
So, um, is she fat?
33:33
Not from where I was standing.
33:38
Where were you
33:40
standing? Um, fees. So, you you guys
33:44
just don't get along. It's mostly just
33:47
dumb sister stuff, you know? I mean,
33:49
like, everyone always thought of her as
33:51
the pretty one, you know?
33:52
And oh, oh, she was the first one to
33:54
start walking, even though I did it
33:57
later that same day.
34:00
But to my parents by then it was like,
34:02
"Yeah, right. Well, what else is new?
34:04
Some stranger is going to be living in
34:06
my room." Well, after 15 years of mom
34:08
and dad keeping it as a shrine to you,
34:10
it's time the velvet ropes came down.
34:12
I kept your room for a while. Oh,
34:16
please. Dad turned my room into a gym 20
34:18
minutes after I moved out. I got to say,
34:20
a tanning bed and a stack of Victoria's
34:24
Secret cataloges, not a gym.
34:25
Come on. And you know they love you as
34:29
much as they love you. I was their first
34:31
born. They thought she was barren. It's
34:33
not my fault.
34:35
Look, all my stuff is safe and dry. And
34:37
all her stuff is is growing new
34:40
stuff. See, this is exactly the kind of
34:44
thing that makes her think you guys love
34:47
me more than you love her. Oh my god.
34:48
Does she really think that? Well, can
34:51
you blame her? I don't know. I I I
34:53
suppose we may have favored you
34:55
unconsciously. You were a medical
34:57
marvel. The doctor said your mother
34:58
could Dad. I don't want to hear about
35:00
it. Really? Well, not right now. Uh,
35:01
morning. Hey. Hey. Hey. Do you guys
35:05
think you could uh close your eyes for
35:07
just a sec? Oh, no. No, no, no. I'm not
35:08
falling for that again.
35:10
What's going on? Well, I I sort of did a
35:14
stupid thing last night. What stupid
35:17
thing did you do?
35:19
[Applause]
35:27
Okay, Paulo, why don't you just go get
35:29
dressed and you'll be on your way. Okay.
35:31
Bye. Bye.
35:33
Rachel, how did this happen? I don't
35:36
know. I just kind of ran into him last
35:38
night. Where? At his apartment. Is this
35:40
juice?
35:42
Whoa. Whoa. And the fact that you dumped
35:44
him cuz he hit on Phoebe. Oh, God. I
35:46
know. I'm pathetic. I'm a loser.
35:48
Honey, you're not pathetic. You're just
35:52
You're sad. Yeah. I mean, people do
35:54
stupid things when they're upset. My
35:56
god. If I had a nickel for every guy I
35:57
wish I hadn't.
35:59
Come on. There's got to be something.
36:03
Oh, she's perfect.
36:06
I have one.
36:12
Great. Okay, you can go first. Uh, well,
36:15
I guess I'm not going to miss the fact
36:17
that you're never allowed to move the
36:20
phone pin.
36:22
That's a good one. Okay, Monica,
36:27
anything? You know, does Rachel move the
36:29
phone pin?
36:31
Ah, sometimes.
36:34
Always, actually.
36:36
Okay, good. There you go. Doesn't
36:39
everyone feel better?
36:41
It's not just the foam pin.
36:44
I never get my messages. You get your
36:47
messages? Yeah. Well, I don't think it
36:50
really counts if you have to read them
36:52
off the back of your hand after you fall
36:53
asleep on the couch. So So you missed a
36:55
message from who? Chandler or your mom
36:58
or Chandler or your mom?
37:02
Well, that's
37:11
me.
37:13
Here, have this. I'm only allowed one
37:20
piece of carryon anyway.
37:23
Wait.
37:28
Uh, listen. I I I have to tell you
37:29
something. Um, I've been thinking. I'm
37:33
just going to come out and say it, okay?
37:37
I I I
37:39
think I love you.
37:42
Oh, thank you.
37:54
[Laughter]
37:56
It's no problem.
38:04
Hey guys. Hey. So, what do you think?
38:07
About what? What? Yeah. What? Are you
38:14
kidding? Okay, I'll give you a hint.
38:17
I'll give you a hint.
38:19
Eyes. No. No. Your eyes. No. Chandler's
38:23
eyes.
38:27
I got glasses.
38:29
You always had glasses.
38:31
No, I didn't.
38:36
Are you sure?
38:39
Yeah. Didn't Didn't you used to have a
38:42
pair? They were really round and
38:43
burgundy and they made you look kind of
38:46
um feminine. Yes.
38:48
No, sweetie. I think the glasses look
38:51
great. They make you look really sexy.
38:53
Really? Yeah. And you didn't think I
38:55
used to wear glasses, right? Of course.
38:57
You know, everything's going to be fine.
39:04
The baby's sleeping. What if she jumped
39:06
out of the bassinet? Can't hold her own
39:07
head up. But yeah, jumped.
39:10
Oh my god. I left the water running.
39:13
Rach, you did not leave the water
39:14
running. Please, just just pull yourself
39:16
together. Okay. Wait, did I leave the
39:17
stove on? You haven't cooked since 1996.
39:19
Is the window open? Because if the
39:23
window's open, a bird could fly in
39:25
there. And Oh my god. You know what? I
39:26
think you're right. I think you know
39:28
what? Listen, listen. A a pigeon. No, no
39:29
way. No, no. An eagle flew
39:33
in. Landed on the stove and caught
39:35
fire. The baby, seeing this, jumps
39:40
across the apartment to the mighty
39:44
bird's aid. The eagle, however,
39:46
misconstruses this as an act of
39:49
aggression and grabs the baby in its
39:50
talent. Meanwhile, the faucet fills the
39:52
apartment with water. Baby and Bird,
39:54
still ablaze, are locked in a death
39:57
grip. swirling around the whirlpool that
39:59
fills the apartment.
40:02
Boy, are you going to be sorry if that's
40:06
true. I need to talk to you. Sure.
40:07
What's up? Oh, sorry. I meant Chandler.
40:11
I I know.
40:16
Well, if something comes
40:19
up Oh, I'm glad you guys are past that
40:24
little awkward face.
40:27
Okay. My boss Joanna, when you left, she
40:30
started asking questions about you. Like
40:34
what she saw, huh?
40:37
Doug my action, did she? Checking out
40:40
the chen chain name.
40:43
[Applause]
40:47
That was surreal.
40:50
Okay. What do you think? You interested
40:53
at all? Yeah, she seemed cool.
40:55
attractive. I'll do it. Oh, thank you,
40:58
Chandler. This is so great. She's going
41:01
to love me. Hey, dinosaur tan. Quick,
41:02
everybody into the house.
41:06
[Music]
41:08
Guys, there's uh somebody I'd like you
41:13
to meet.
41:15
[Music]
41:18
Wait, wait. What is that? That would be
41:19
Marcel. Do you want to say hi? No. No, I
41:22
don't. Oh, he is precious. Where did you
41:24
get him? My friend Bethl rescued him
41:26
from some lab. That is so cruel. Why?
41:28
Why would a parent name their child
41:31
Bethl?
41:33
Hey, that monkeyy's got a Ross on his
41:37
ass.
41:39
Ross, is he going to live with you like
41:44
in your apartment? Yeah. I mean, it's
41:46
been kind of quiet since Carol left. So,
41:49
why don't you just get a roommate? Uh, I
41:51
don't know. Well, I think you reach a
41:53
certain age. Having a roommate is just
41:54
kind of
41:56
pathet That's
42:00
pathet way to live.
42:03
Hey. Hey.
42:08
I was just at the bank and there was
42:10
this really hot teller and she didn't
42:12
ask me to go do it with her in the
42:14
vault.
42:16
Same kind of thing happened to me. Woman
42:18
pizza delivery guy comes over, gives me
42:21
the pizza, takes the money, and leaves.
42:23
What? No like nice apartment. Bet the
42:25
bedrooms are huge.
42:27
Nothing.
42:30
You know what? We have to turn off the
42:32
porn. I think you're right.
42:34
Like, all right. Ready? One, two, three.
42:38
That's kind of nice.
42:48
Yeah, that's kind of a relief.
42:50
You want to see if we still have it?
42:59
Yeah.
43:00
Free. We have a free
43:03
Well, hello there.
43:07
I didn't see this on the menu.
43:10
Tim, this is Phoebe. Phoebe. This is
43:12
Tim, my new sue chef. Oh, so you're
43:14
Monica's boss. Actually, she's my boss.
43:16
Sue is is French for under. Ah, I sue
43:18
stand.
43:21
Hey Tim, I need a calamari and a Caesar
43:23
salad. And um could you get me the
43:25
pesto? Yeah. You you made pesto? Yes, I
43:26
did. Would you say your pesto is the
43:30
best? I I don't know, but I I would say
43:32
it's pretty good. O,
43:35
I still need the calamari and the Caesar
43:40
salad. I like your necklace. Oh, I made
43:41
it myself. You are so talented. Well,
43:43
it's no pesto.
43:46
All right. All right. Let's just cut to
43:49
the chase. Okay. You're single. You're
43:50
single. He gets off work at 11:00.
43:52
She'll be waiting for your call. I'll
43:54
give him your number if I could just get
43:56
one calamari and one Caesar salad.
43:58
I did not yell. I am not putting a
44:02
dollar in the jar.
44:05
We're a couple and that's uh what
44:07
couples do. And I want to meet your
44:09
parents. We should take a trip with your
44:12
parents.
44:14
I don't think we need to because you're
44:20
tripping me out right now.
44:22
Are you okay? No, I am. I actually am. I
44:25
mean, this is amazing. My entire life, I
44:29
have feared this place. And now that I'm
44:31
here, it's like, what was the big deal?
44:34
I mean, I could probably say, "Let's
44:37
move in together," and I'd be okay. You
44:38
probably want us to move in together.
44:41
It doesn't scare me. Yeah, well, it
44:45
scares me. I mean, I'm not even divorced
44:46
yet, Chandler. You know, you just
44:49
invited me over here for pasta and all
44:51
of a sudden you're like talking about
44:52
moving in together and I wasn't even
44:54
that hungry. You know what? It's getting
44:56
really late and I I should just um No,
44:59
no, no, don't go. I've scared you. I've
45:01
said too much. I'm hopeless and awkward
45:04
and desperate for love.
45:06
Yeah. Do you want it?
45:09
No. I hate cats. Well, so then what are
45:12
you doing to me? Okay, just get out of
45:14
here. All right, move on.
45:16
Jeez. Wow, what an unusual cat. Yes,
45:19
thank you. Exactly. You want it? Maybe.
45:22
I was thinking about getting a cat. I
45:26
was just going to go to the shelter, but
45:28
Okay, why not? Oh, terrific. That'll be
45:30
$2,000.
45:32
What? Okay, a,000. I thought you wanted
45:35
me to adopt your cat. Well, I do, but
45:38
you're just going to have to actually
45:40
look at this as more of an investment
45:41
than a cat. Okay. Yeah. I just wanted a
45:42
cat. Yeah. Okay.
45:45
Okay. Obviously, you know how to haggle.
45:49
So, I'm not going to try and take you
45:51
on. Okay. So, $800. And I don't call the
45:53
cops, which I should because you are
45:56
robbing me. Blind. Blind. You're active.
45:57
Just take the cat, leave the money, and
45:59
run away. Just run away. Damn it. Hey,
46:01
can't you at least smile or something?
46:05
You're awake. Look at you. How do you
46:12
How do you feel? Uh, a little woozy, but
46:14
basically okay. Gosh, you you look good.
46:17
I feel
46:20
good. Who are you? Oh, sorry. I'm I'm
46:22
Phoebe Buffet. I'm Monica Geller. I've
46:26
been taking care of you. But we both
46:28
have. So, the Etcha sketch is from you
46:30
guys. Well, actually, it's just from me.
46:32
Yeah, I got you the foot massager. You
46:34
know who shaved you? That was me. I read
46:35
to you. I sang. Ha.
46:37
Well, thanks. Oh, my pleasure. You're
46:41
welcome. So, I guess I'll see you
46:44
around.
46:48
What? That's
46:49
it. See you around. Well, what do you
46:51
want me to say? Oh, I don't know. Maybe.
46:54
Um, that was nice. Admit something to
46:57
me. I'll call you.
47:02
All right, I'll call you. I don't think
47:05
you mean that.
47:07
Wait a minute. You stayed home all day
47:10
and played Miss Pac-Man while I went off
47:12
to work like some kind of chump.
47:13
And I got all the top 10 scores. I
47:16
erased Phoebe off the board. High five.
47:18
What is the matter with your hand?
47:22
Well, I've been playing it for like
47:28
eight hours. It'll loosen up. Come on,
47:29
check out the scores. Oh, and also look
47:32
at the initials. They're dirty words.
47:34
Chandler, why would you do that? Because
47:37
it's awesome.
47:39
You think this is clever? Well, you
47:42
know, they only give you three letters,
47:43
so after as SS, it is a bit of a
47:44
challenge.
47:47
Wait a minute. This one's not dirty.
47:49
Well, it is when you put it together
47:50
with that one.
47:52
Oh, well. If you don't clear this off,
47:54
you won't be getting one of those for
47:56
me. Ben's coming over here tomorrow to
47:59
play this game. This can't be there.
48:01
Come on. He won't even know what they
48:03
mean. Jaylor, he's seven. He's not
48:04
stupid. Have you talked to him lately?
48:06
This is the guy I was telling you about.
48:09
Yeah. Yeah. And believe me, this suit
48:10
does not do justice to what's underneath
48:12
it.
48:14
Okay. But I can't I'm just sort of in
48:16
the middle of something. Oh, okay. Yeah,
48:20
that's okay. Have a seat.
48:23
You can't do that. Maybe I should go.
48:25
Just sit down. We're winning.
48:27
Okay. You know what? Maybe I should go.
48:31
No, no, no. Have a seat. You have a
48:32
seat. Rachel. Rachel, you haven't
48:34
touched Elon's hair. It's the softest
48:36
hair. Touch it. I'm good. Rachel.
48:39
Patrick is really rich. Give her some
48:42
money.
48:44
You know what, Phoebe? This isn't really
48:47
worth the free massage. That's right,
48:48
Patrick. Bye-bye. No, Elena is much more
48:50
cooperative and he can dance. You dance
48:53
for Rachel.
48:55
No, no, no. Don't dance for me. Please
48:57
don't. What's the matter with you guys?
48:59
Yeah. Okay, let's talk it out. I
49:02
Am I the only one that this is
49:05
embarrassing for? I'm a little
49:07
embarrassed. Sh.
49:08
[Applause]
49:14
Good
49:16
evening. I am Mr.
49:17
Tribani and I will be teaching acting
49:21
for soap operas. Now,
49:24
um, on my first day as Dr. Drake Ramore
49:26
on Days of Our Lives,
49:30
uh, I learned that one of the most
49:35
important things in soap opera acting is
49:37
reacting. This does not mean acting
49:40
again. It means you don't have a line,
49:44
but someone else just did. And it goes
49:47
something like this.
49:49
Thanks. Thanks. Thanks a lot. Oh, by the
49:58
way, before I forget, to work in soap
50:00
operas, some of you are going to have to
50:02
become much more attractive.
50:04
All right, moving right along. Okay,
50:07
when you're playing a machine and it
50:09
hasn't paid out, a lurker waits for you
50:11
to give up and then kills you.
50:13
No, they swoop in and steal your
50:17
jackpot.
50:20
Oh. Mhm. How do you know about this? My
50:21
nana used to do it. Mhm. That's how she
50:24
paid for all my dance karate lessons.
50:27
Dance karate? Yes. It's a deadly but
50:30
beautiful sport.
50:34
Something your kiss just told
50:38
me. My soul died.
50:42
Oh well. Lost again.
50:50
That's it. You and me outside.
50:57
I don't want to see you lose a chunk of
51:00
that pretty blonde hair.
51:02
It'll be fun.
51:09
What was that? Hi. Um, I just thought
51:13
that it would be fun if the three of us
51:16
had some beers and got to know each
51:17
other. Yeah. All right, that sounds all
51:19
right. Oh, good. Okay. Oh, no. I have to
51:20
go because I'm late for my um Green Eggs
51:25
and Ham discussion
51:28
group. Um, tonight it's why he would not
51:29
eat them on a train.
51:32
Have fun. Bye. That was so lame. I know.
51:35
Yeah.
51:38
Okay. Talk to him.
51:39
So, you uh you think that speed racer
51:45
guy gets a lot of tickets
51:48
or That's good. That's good. So, so who
51:52
broke up with who? What? Are you
51:54
kidding? I broke up with her. She
51:55
actually thought that Shan Penn was the
51:57
capital of Cambodia.
51:59
That's good, man. When everybody knows
52:02
that the uh the capital of Cambodia is
52:03
uh Well, it's not Sean not. Guys, I'm
52:06
telling you, when she runs, she looks
52:10
like a cross between Kermit the Frog and
52:12
the $6 million man.
52:14
Monica had such a crush on him that she
52:17
used to kiss his poster every night
52:22
before she went to bed. Oh, I used to do
52:23
that, too. Did you also have his album?
52:26
It's not easy being green.
52:29
Oh, so Phoebe runs weird, huh? Yeah.
52:35
Yeah. You know what? And and I know
52:39
she's going to want to run again. I just
52:41
don't I don't know how to get out of it.
52:42
I mean, I live with her. Why don't you
52:43
just be straight with her? Tell her the
52:45
truth. You're right. You're right. I
52:47
should just tell her the truth. Hey.
52:50
Hey. Hey, babe. Monica tripped me. I
52:53
don't think I can ever run again. Ever
52:55
Why? Why would you do that? I don't
52:59
know.
53:02
I'm I'm sorry that I hurt your ankles.
53:04
Ankle. We'll see. Ever have to fire
53:07
anyone?
53:10
Nina.
53:15
Nina.
53:18
Nina. Nina.
53:21
Are you okay?
53:24
Yes. Yes, I am. Uh, listen, the reason
53:27
that I called you in here today was
53:31
uh please don't hate me.
53:34
What?
53:37
Would you like to have dinner sometime?
53:40
[Music]
53:45
And that's the Chrysler building right
53:55
there.
53:56
Nina, Mr.
53:58
Douglas. Cool. Tie.
54:00
She's still here. Yes. Yes, she is.
54:06
Phoebe, I completely understand. Yeah,
54:10
whatever you need.
54:12
Hey, you want to go home? Okay, thanks.
54:15
Sorry
54:18
[Laughter]
54:29
again. What was that?
54:38
[Applause]
54:42
Uh, I'm guessing the threshold's clear
54:44
now.
54:46
Hey. Hey, thieves. Oh, hey. How's the
54:49
dog? Okay. I talked to the vet. People
54:52
are so nice upstate. Anyway, he said
54:54
that the little fella is going to be
54:57
okay and I can pick him up tomorrow. Oh,
54:58
good. Thank God. Yeah. But he did have
55:00
to have like a bunch of stitches and he
55:03
said that only once in a blue moon does
55:05
a dog's ear grow back. So, what is your
55:07
situation?
55:09
Oh, well, it's complicated. I don't
55:10
actually have a boyfriend, but um And
55:12
can I have your number?
55:14
I'm sorry. No. Okay.
55:17
Oh, sure.
55:21
Oh my god. You're giving your real
55:25
number.
55:26
Okay. Thanks. I'll give you a call later
55:30
tonight. Great. Bye. Bye.
55:32
Wow. So, that's great.
55:37
You, Bill, Ross, and Emma are going to
55:40
be so happy together.
55:41
What were you thinking? I don't know. He
55:44
was cute and he liked me. It was an
55:46
impulse. But what about Ross? What about
55:48
your moment? Don't you want to talk to
55:50
Ross about it? No. No. Cuz I know
55:52
exactly how the conversation's going to
55:54
go. Hey, Ross. You know, I think we had
55:56
a moment before. Yeah. Me,
55:58
too. Well, but I'm not sure I really
56:02
want to do anything about it. Yeah. Me
56:05
neither. All right, Monica, dear. I'm
56:08
going to hit the road now. I've left my
56:11
10 verbs on the table, and you be sure
56:13
and send me that finished poem. Okay,
56:16
we'll do. I'm so glad you came. I think
56:18
I saw Rachel out in the hall. Okay, let
56:20
me go check. Oh, all right.
56:22
Your mom wants to say goodbye. Oh, okay.
56:26
Happy birthday, sweetie.
56:28
Okay. Uh, you drive safe. Okay, boss.
56:31
What are you doing?
56:36
I'm getting ready for the water
56:38
skiing. Big hug. One more. Big hug. Come
56:42
on, baby.
56:44
How are you?
56:48
Uh, Dr. Pink, where you going to get my
56:51
coat?
56:53
All right. All right. I can get my own
56:55
coat.
56:57
Sorry, we're on a major fla high.
57:06
Hey, please tell me you got the message.
57:11
What message? The actor playing Mac
57:15
couldn't do it. They needed to see you
57:17
at 2:00. What? It's 6:00.
57:18
I wrote I wrote it on the board. I wrote
57:22
it on the board and then I went all over
57:24
New York City looking for you. I went to
57:26
Ross's. I went to the coffee house. I
57:27
went to any place that they make
57:29
sandwiches.
57:30
I can't believe this, Chandler. Sorry. I
57:32
I I don't know what to say. Well, you
57:35
you might say,
57:38
"Congratulations. I saw the board. I
57:40
went to the audition. I got the board."
57:42
Is that supposed to be funny? I was
57:46
really worried over here. Oh, well, you
57:48
know, sometimes that fake out thing is
57:50
just mean. Oh, wow. Okay, man. I'm
57:51
sorry. I did not mean to make you feel
57:54
bad. Well, that's good because you
57:55
didn't. And I'm incredibly happy for
57:58
you.
57:59
That's mean.
58:01
You really had me going there. We could
58:04
do this all day. Yeah, you're right.
58:06
Yeah. I I know we've only gone out like
58:09
twice, but I don't know. I have a really
58:11
good feeling about her. Oh, I hear
58:13
divorce bills.
58:15
All right, just give me your wallets and
58:17
there won't be a problem. What? I have a
58:19
gun. Okay, just just relax, Phoebe. Just
58:22
stay calm.
58:24
Oh my god, I can't find my wallet.
58:27
All right, lady. Now, give me your
58:32
purse. No. What do you mean no? I knew
58:34
you'd be my death. Phoebe Buffet.
58:36
LOL. Is that you? Phoebe? Oh my god. Oh
58:41
my god.
58:46
I'm sorry, Ross. This is my old friend
58:49
LOL from the streets.
58:50
LOL. Ross. Ross. It's nice to meet you.
58:53
A real pleasure.
58:56
It's been so long. Oh, so long. I can't
58:59
believe you're still doing this. Ah, I
59:03
know. But I quit smoking. Good for you.
59:05
You have Nick's tickets? Yeah, my mom
59:08
got my dad's season tickets in the
59:10
divorce, so she just gave them to me.
59:12
Yeah, apparently they're they're pretty
59:14
good seats. Oh my god, those are almost
59:15
right on the floor. Do you guys want
59:18
these? Yeah, we do.
59:20
Oh, well, you got him. All right, just
59:24
give us our apartment back.
59:26
Oh, I didn't see that coming.
59:32
Are you serious? Oh, come on. We know
59:35
what these are worth. What? Do you think
59:39
we're stupid? Not stupid. You're meaner
59:41
than I thought.
59:44
What do you say? Forget it. Okay. Hey,
59:47
I'm not giving up my bachelor pad for
59:49
some basketball seats. Your bachelor
59:51
pad? Have you even had a girl up here?
59:55
No, but uh Joey has and I usually talk
00:01
to them in the morning time.
00:05
Yeah, you do.
00:09
[Music]
00:12
歌词与翻译
[中文]
[音乐]
你不必停止享受乐趣
因为我在这里。凯西没有欺骗你们
。
好吧，除了你。
[笑声]
嘿，乔伊。我认为你不应该
让 Chander 独自一人。我的意思是，距离您与
两天。也许您可以在下
Kathy 分手才
周去钓鱼。听着，我现在无能为力
他。他还穿着
运动裤。这只是第一阶段。
我会回来参加第二阶段。我
永远不会错过第二阶段。什么是第二阶段？
喝醉了去脱衣舞俱乐部。
去脱衣舞俱乐部如何让他
变得更好？那里有裸体女士。
哦，这有助于他进入第三阶段，
想象自己和其他女人在一起。
那里也有裸体女士。是的。
请给我一分钟好吗？
欢迎大家。欢迎来到惊人的
发现。
哦。哦，我又想了。你们可以
请不要看这个。任何。
各位，你们遇到过这种情况吗？你去
到冰箱，拿了一杯美味的
牛奶，但是这些该死的纸盒
翻边很难打开。好吧，
你说过了，迈克。我不
一定有更好的方法。还有
。凯文，
我们可以将其关闭吗？决不。
凯文，如果我告诉你有一种
革命性的新产品，
保证你再也不用打开
牛奶盒了。认识牛奶大师
2000。
你感兴趣吗？你在乱扔。
向右猛击。我是
。这是他第一次。他以前从未使用过
该产品。您将看到
这是多么容易做到的。前进。此
适用于任何牛奶盒。哇，这
很容易。现在我可以每天喝牛奶了。
已经过去了 10 个街区，还剩 5 个街区。哦，等等。
停止。停止。停止。哦，对不起。你
需要休息一下吗？
我的棕褐色靴子。嘿，你能得到一个
靠近一点以便我可以看到价格？我
可以从这里看到它。这会让你付出
一个丈夫的代价。
好的，抱歉。我想我现在可以走
剩下的路了。只要把
给我我的靴子就可以了。
我没有你的靴子。嗯，我也没有
。他们在哪里？好吧，
你为什么不在我咀嚼干草时托运我的马鞍
包呢？
好的，走吧。我们得回去拿
它们。亲爱的，你真的
会再次穿上这双靴子吗？
好吧，我再也不会穿
了。只是没有机会说
再见。
你知道吗？您可以告别
晒黑的衣服了。好的。
好的。
好的。
再见，靴子。等待。减半。
嗨。
[鼓掌]
蜜月过得怎么样？噢，难以置信。
哦，香槟，晚餐时的蜡烛，
月光下在海滩上散步。真是
浪漫。那么，迈克在哪里？哦，他和医生在一起
。他一直没有在那儿拉屎
。
好吧，无论如何，我很高兴你回来了。我
真的需要你的帮助。哦，为什么？
怎么样？好吧，我要参加这部
戏剧的试镜，其中的一些内容，我必须
说法语，根据我的
简历，我的法语很流利。
乔伊，你不应该在简历上撒谎。
是的，你真的不应该。顺便问一下，
在开罗那一年的挖掘怎么样？
没关系。
我不知道你会说法语。
你太性感了。
那么，你愿意帮助我吗？我真的很想让
出现在这部剧中。当然。
说真的，停止吧。我想跳到
你身上。
颁发最喜爱
回归男性角色奖的是 Mackenzie。
就是这样。这是我的类别。哦
我的上帝。你有发言权吗？是的。收到我的
演讲。你有你那张优雅的失败者
脸吗？是的。我知道。不，查理。
记住，如果你赢了，你必须拥抱
我。你拥抱我。好的。他们说，“我可以
捏捏你的屁股吗？”
在电视上，事实证明情况并非总是如此。
在最受欢迎的回归
男性角色类别中，提名者包括《总医院》的约翰
惠勒、《年轻与
加文·格雷厄姆、《
不安的人》的
激情》的邓肯·哈林顿和《
我们的日子》的乔伊·特里巴尼。
苏菲去
去找来自《年轻人》和《
》的加文·格雷厄姆 [掌声]
[掌声]
焦躁不安。我想向罗斯和
艾米丽敬酒。当然，明天婚礼上我的盛大祝酒词是
。所以，如果你愿意的话，这是我的
小吐司或梅尔巴
吐司。
好的，我认识罗斯很长时间了。
事实上，当他
和他的第一个女朋友出去时，我就认识他了，我
以为事情真的会为他带来
的结果，直到有一天他
过度夸大了
她。哦，亲爱的
上帝。我确信我们都非常兴奋呃
罗斯和艾米丽即将在蒙哥马利大厅结婚
。我的意思是，想想我的
朋友在蒙蒂霍尔结婚。
哦，来吧。我的钱墙。我们来做一笔
交易吧。来吧，你们这些人。
好吧，算了。恭喜，
W. 嘿，第二号伴郎，乔伊
Triani。现在，我不擅长开
像钱德勒这样的笑话，但我只想
指出我在高中时从未做过任何伤害
你的事情。这并不完全是
。什么？什么？好吧，你确实
开始了关于罗斯与我们 50 岁的
的谣言。
图书管理员奥特曼夫人亲热
你怎么知道的？
确实如此。
不。
是的。我看到你们在卡片目录后面查看
。
对不起。当你在高中的时候，
你和一个50岁的女人亲热过。
嘿，她看起来不像 50 岁。她看起来
16 岁吗？
哦，实际上，
年鉴中有一张她的照片。哦，
哇。她没有拍照。好吧，
好吧，她可能不熟悉
这个过程，她
一生的大部分时间都是坐着画油画。
那么，这是怎么发生的？她有
引诱你去吃早鸟晚餐吗？
嘿，朋友。
埃迪，你还在这里做什么？
呃，只是对一些
水果和蔬菜进行一些基本的脱水。人啊，还活着。这
东西太棒了。
看看，艾迪，你是不是忘记了
什么？哦，是的。这是正确的。看，
我给我们带来了一条新金鱼。他比上一个
活跃很多。是的，也许是
，因为最后一个是由
Peppidge
Farm 制作的。听着，艾迪，是不是还有一些
你现在应该做对的事情
？好吧，除非它与
脱水有关，伙计。因为
现在我是一个脱水狂。
看，你必须帮我一下。我
以为我们达成协议了。当我得到
时我想你知道那是什么吗？
你最后一个室友的
肾脏。那是那是
番茄。这肯定会出现在
显示中。
你知道，你以前这么叫过我。所以，
我冒昧地用铝箔制作了一颗
星星。现在，没有
压力。你喜欢我的饼干，你给了
我星星。
哇，
明星。我知道你们都恨我，我很抱歉
，但我不在乎。
好的，乔伊，下一个就是你。
天哪，这太棒了。你得到了
A。我在学校得到了
A。嘿，我是个呆子。
乔伊，我为你感到骄傲。我认为你
应该给他你的星星。打扰一下。
他甚至不知道自己在做什么。
我们都是初学者。没有人知道
他们在做什么。我愿意。我是一名
专业厨师。哦，放松点。这不是
法庭戏剧。
如果您是一名专业厨师，
您在学习
烹饪入门课程时在做什么？是的。
嗨。我需要你借的耳环。
哦。嗯，好吧。是的，我马上就
回来。好的。
哇。费用，你会说意大利语，我猜
是这样。
就这样吧。谢谢。等等，Ra，
另一个在哪里？哦，等等。您
想要
两个吗？ Rachel Karen Green，另一只
耳环在哪里？好的。好的。好的。听着，
别惊慌，但我有点失去了
。哦，我知道它在公寓里，
，但我肯定把它弄丢了。我
要告诉莫妮卡什么？她今晚想穿
。我不知道。告诉她
戴上她自己的耳环。这是她的
耳环。不，不，你借给了我莫妮卡的
耳环。我不可以借她的
东西。
为什么不呢？因为我失去了她的东西。
好的。好的。这是我们中的一个好人。
哇，那真是太好了。哇。它看起来
就像一张节日贺卡，你知道，
中间有一棵树，
溜冰者和雪。你知道，每隔
年我都会说我要寄出
节日贺卡，但我从来没有这么做过。您想
将此邮件一起发送
吗？
在一起？我喜欢对人。
是的。你知道，莫娜
和罗斯节日快乐。会很可爱。好的。
好的。
哦，我要去上班了，所以稍后给我打电话
。哦，当然。当然。再见，伙计们。再见。
恭喜。你刚刚结婚。
不。你能相信吗？等等，我很抱歉
。
节日贺卡有什么大不了的？已婚夫妇发出
张卡片。家人寄出卡片。约会了
不会寄出卡片。什么？什么？
个月的人
她疯了吗？嘿，嘿，嘿。你所说的就是你的
妻子。
里面有人吗？
不，这只是我玩的一个大胆的
游戏的一部分，这个游戏叫做“等到
最后一刻，然后我爆发并
死亡”。天哪，伙计。你跌到
高了吗？那么，呃，你跌倒
高了吗？
有人在女厕所里。我
等不及了。不过，我为
你留了盖子。
你知道吗？呃，得到了Go。呃，继续
。我正在和
说话，呃，这是你要说出你的
名字的部分。姜。姜。我正在和
金杰说话。那么，
你不用上厕所吗？
不。没有。我只是呃我宁愿呃和你谈谈
。
是的，我愿意。
是的，我确实要去趟洗手间。
这里有人。
你好。
[音乐]
艾玛。
嘿。
嗨。你好吗？你好吗？你的
保姆在哪里？啊？
卧室的门为什么关着？
当您
照顾小便时，您不能发生性行为。
嗯，这很奇怪。你声音很大，
我速度很快。
我想你这次
可能真的做到了。哦，我希望我不用等到
才能进行妊娠测试。
可能还想获得更多这些。
艾玛在哪里？我的天啊。艾玛在哪儿？
艾玛在哪里？别问我。我在
那里爱抚你。
嘿。你好。抱歉我来晚了。我错过了
什么吗？哦，乔伊把 15 块奥利奥塞进
嘴里。
15？你个人最好的。
那么，你在哪里？噢，在约会。是的。
我在去北部
博物馆的火车上遇到了这个女孩。哦，是的。你们
是怎么认识的？博物馆。
不。回答他的。
好的。火车后面只有我和她
，我坐在靠近门的位置，所以
如果她想要
换车，她就必须经过我。她完全听凭
我的摆布。你这么晚是因为
要埋葬这个女人吗？
嗯，我现在要回来了，因为她
住在 Pikipsy。她看上去确实
很棒，但距离她还有
2又1/2小时。如果她来自
Pikipsy，她怎么能伟大呢？
好吧，这个笑话在
奥尔巴尼会被杀掉。
完成。我做到了。啊？现在谁傻了，
吧？
大家好。嘿。嘿。
有什么问题吗？好吧，这只是我讨厌的
种情况之一。你
知道，一位按摩客户给了我三个
摩根大通博物馆
头盔毛皮展览门票。现在你
认为你必须和他一起睡觉。
不不，只是他给了我三张
票，而我们有六个人。我将
放弃我的门票。我也是。
好吧，真是太慷慨了。我认为
罗斯也很慷慨。
太棒了。好吧，那就只有我们女孩了。
太棒了。是的。
那么，展览是什么？
大部分只是女同性恋
爱情场景的照片，其中点缀着视频
游戏和免费三明治。
天啊，什么是
嘿，罗斯。听着，钱德勒带你在这个周末
去女同性恋三明治博物馆
。
嘿，查德，看看窗户。这是我的
名字。嗨，我。
我记得我收到第一张
薪水的那一天。
矿井之一发生塌方，造成 8 人死亡。
哇。你在矿井工作过吗？我在
冰雪皇后矿井工作。
天哪，这不是令人兴奋吗？这是我赚到的。
我为它擦了桌子。我为它蒸了
牛奶。而且
完全不值得
。菲卡在哪里？为什么他拿走了我所有的
钱？
我的意思是，什么，钱德勒？看看那个。
哦，这还不错。哦，你很好
。是的，第一份工作。你可以
完全靠这个生活。哦，是的。
是的。嘿，顺便说一下，今天的服务很棒
。
我来这里过感恩节。我知道它
病了。为什么会生病？因为它是
理查德的儿子。这就像邀请
希腊悲剧来吃晚饭。
嘿，来吧，朋友们。你明白，
不是吗？是的，我可以看到我
在哪里是你最好的选择，但是没有。
抱歉，亲爱的。我认为这是扭曲的。
是的。什么是扭曲的？我和
理查德的儿子出去。
呃，呃，呃，呃。
对我来说听起来真是个坏主意。
他在那里还好吗？他很好。
嘿，你知道，伙计，如果你和理查德的儿子之间的事情顺利
，你就会
能够告诉您的孩子您
和她的祖父睡过。
好的。你想怎么评判就怎么评判，但是嫁给了
一个女同性恋，把一个男人留在了祭坛上，
爱上了一个同性恋冰舞者，把
女孩的木腿扔进了火里，住在
盒子里。
老大，你在说什么？天哪，
他们把我宝宝的脸放在阴茎上。
现在是一个聚会。
你们这些家伙，这不好笑。好吧，
如果我想让这个蛋糕成为一场灾难，
我会自己烤的。
呃，我还觉得
看起来很好吃吗？
看看这个。我知道你
在想什么，朱迪。相似度
不可思议。
我差点再次拉扯我的
睾丸。
不，不，这不是我订购的。
好的。我千里迢迢地去了新泽西
，这样我就可以为我女儿的生日准备一个完美的蛋糕
。我现在需要一个
兔子蛋糕。问他如果我们把婴儿的
是否会更快。
脸从阴茎上切下来，这样我们就可以把它放在
兔子身上，
这是一个奇怪的
[音乐]
句子。凯西。凯西。嗨，凯西。
凯西。
[音乐]
抓住
它。复制。卡比。
[音乐]
嘿，钱德勒。你在这里做什么？
我只是想说嘿。
嘿。
好的。
嘿，听着，伙计。关于脱衣舞娘。
是的。打得好。
好的。小公告。
的小公告。我决定我的
伴郎是我最好的朋友 Gunther。
我姓什么？
中央公园。
感谢你没有嫁给雷切尔。
嘿。 WHO？嘿，冈瑟。不要
忘记你的衬衫。
嘿。嘿。那些是什么？得到了一点
派对礼物。一探究竟。
哇。
是的。哦。
一个小公告。希望大家
知道我的伴郎职位
仍然开放，呃你知道新娘的
职位也是如此。
太棒了。
顺利，伙计。是的。你的脖子上有一些辣椒
。
让我们给皮特一个机会。快点。他
很有趣。他看起来真的很好。
那张支票很可爱。
检查什么？开个玩笑，
单位的一位暗恋我的顾客给了我
20,000 美元的小费。支票上有他的电话号码。
他只是这么做了，所以我会打电话。皮特·贝克尔。
皮特。
是他吗？那是比尔·克林顿。
他在拥抱谁？
天哪。那是皮特。为什么比尔
拥抱皮特？这家伙嵌入了 Moss
865。世界上每个办公室都使用该
程序。我们用它。就这样吧。
天啊。莫妮卡要和
一位百万富翁约会。不，我不会和他一起出去
。我的天啊。我不敢相信
这是真正的价值 20,000 美元的 Jericho。这
太令人兴奋了。
或者令人难以置信的攻击性。嗯，是的，
当然。那也是。
哦，对不起。打扰一下。我们有这辆
购物车。是的，我的腰围是 24 英寸。
你会失去一些东西。快点。给我让开
。对不起。你知道，也许我没有
说清楚。呃，这是我们的车。嘿，
嘿，嘿。
里面没有任何衣服。嘿，嘿，嘿，嘿。停止制定
条规则。松手。快点。这是我的第一次。
好吧。听着，明蒂。如果你想要
这辆购物车，你就必须带上我
。
[笑声]
你看到了吗？女士们，先生们，你们是一位令人难以置信的
全新女性。
。你认为没有你我就无法
完成这件事吗？
好的。呃，烘干机里还有更多衣服，我
猜想。我很好。最糟糕的事情可能会在周年纪念日发生
。哦，很好。全部
正确。您决定讲述
理查德的故事。
什么？理查德怎么想？哦不。
理查德怎么想？西蒙斯。和
西蒙斯一起去。
[音乐]
好的。我昨天遇到了理查德
，他问我是否想去吃
一口，我就这么做了。
我没有告诉你的唯一原因是因为我知道
你会生气，而我不想破坏
我们的周年纪念日。
我没有生气。
真的吗？哦，是的。是的。所以，你
碰到了理查德。你咬了一口。
没什么大不了的。
太棒了。
好吧，伦敦赢了。我做到了。我完成了
。这一切都是我自己做的。没有人可以拥抱
。
嘿。嘿，你们。我一个人走完了
十字路口。拥抱我。耶。
恭喜。谢谢。嘿，
餐饮怎么样？哦，太棒了。
寡妇不肯付钱，所以菲比对她大喊
，直到她付了钱。是的，我是个硬汉
，而且我是个胆小鬼。
是的，我们应该成为合作伙伴。是啊，硬
屁股和胆小鬼。我们可以打击犯罪。
等一下，
菲比。我们应该成为合作伙伴。我们应该
成为餐饮合作伙伴。我的意思是，想一下
。你现在没有工作
，我们在一起度过了一段美好的时光。
好的，我可以做饭，你可以照顾
的钱。是的。哦，就像我
有一个 50 多岁的妻子一样。
什么？我刚刚意识到为什么我记得
这个地方。真的吗？它是什么？噢，
没什么。我和一个
住在这栋楼里的男人约会，但结果
不太好。
那绝对不会是乔伊
Tribani。是的，当然是。
是的。我们度过了一个非常美好的夜晚，
早上他答应会给我打电话
，但他没有。老鼠混蛋。
那么，你不是他的朋友？哦，
天哪。不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不。不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不
...
不不不
不不不。
好吧，很抱歉我提出来了。那么，
你们中有人打算和我一起住在
家里吗？
你好。里面有人吗？订购
名人。
那是什么？哦，那只是一个在
疯子。不过他对孩子们很好。噢
大厅里闲逛的
天啊。来自《我们
生活的日子》中的乔伊·特里瓦尼。刚走进这里。拉，他是一个
个朋友。您是
Drake Remor 博士的朋友吗？
与
Drake 成为朋友有点困难，因为他的日程很忙，而且
他并不真实。
嘿。嘿。或者我可以什么时候把我的键盘
带到这里。他来了。他要
过来，乔伊。我知道。这里。这里。
哦，不。这是我的朋友雷切尔。我们
一起上高中。
我
我爱你在那个节目中。我每天都会看着你
。我的意思是，当你
取出自己的肾脏来拯救你的前妻时，
即使她试图杀死你。
嗯，见到粉丝总是很高兴。
她没疯，不是吗？
那么，呃，你好吗？
嗨。嗨，
雷切尔。她在这里做什么？
我不知道。
嗯，如果有人需要
我，我会看电视。
说真的，她在做什么？呃，你
知道，最近她只是喜欢在这里闲逛
。
为什么？我觉得她很孤独。
好吧，但今天是情人节。我们不能
请她走吗？嗯，不。不，她
太情绪化了。说到情感，我
指的是克里斯蒂。
我不在这里。这就是我的中国
食物。我的天啊。她在这里送了食物
。嗯。是的。她很情绪化
，但也很勇敢。
你知道我要做什么吗？我要
出汗并在床上吃这个。
而你以为她会采用
我们
的方式。那么，好吧。你为什么不打开
香槟，我马上就回来。我
给你准备了一个惊喜。你那里还有另一个
前妻。
那么，他单膝跪地了吗？他
准备好演讲了吗？哦，他哭了吗？
是的。大惊喜。我喜欢提案。
嗯，这真的很甜蜜，就像
有史以来最浪漫的事情。嗯，嘿。
嗯，这是 Tibbe，他发现了世界上
最伟大的人。对于菲比和
，我想说迈克。
致菲比和迈克。
谢谢。哦，我还有东西要办
你。是的，这是我的
黑色小书。它有我约会过的所有
个男人的号码。
哦，本尼，那太好了。但你知道
什么吗？我想我还好。你为什么不
把它送给你的另一位单身
女朋友？我愿意，但你是最后一个
。
把书给我。
Pablo Diaz，布雷迪
[音乐]
史密斯，货车里的人。哦，我的初恋。
鲍勃
格里莫尔名字旁边的红色 X 是什么意思？死的。
H. 有趣的故事。昨天我在
街上遇见了乔安娜。
我的老板乔安娜。哇，那一定很尴尬
。嗯，不，实际上，她问
我是否想喝一杯。
你呃没有答应，是吗？
不，不。你好，瑞秋。
嗯，首先不是
。她在这里做什么？
我不明白。上次你和她
出去时，你说她是个大
娃娃。好吧，我想我也很快就评判了她
。这次我们能够
将关系提升到一个新的水平。
好吧，上次我差点被解雇。你
必须结束它。你必须现在就结束它。噢，
来吧。这对我来说并不是
每天都会发生的事情。我的意思是，
通常我自己就在那里
。
我我我想感谢大家的到来。
我的家人和朋友。
哇哦。我真的很想说我
嗯你知道我真正想说
吗？我醉了。
是的，爸爸妈妈。你的小
玛拉被
锤击了。你猜怎么着？我之前
喝醉过
，并且吸过
根香烟。你知道吗？你知道
什么吗？一切都好。没关系，因为我今天
30 岁了
，我可以做任何我
想做的事情，因为我是成年人了。
什么？没有什么。没有什么。只是你的
外套听起来非常像 Brent
Musberger。一探究竟。巨人牛仔队。
您正在
葬礼上观看足球比赛。不，这是赛前准备。我要去
在接待处观看。
你是一个令人恐惧、令人恐惧的人。
哦不，我的新保罗鞋。哦，我希望
它们没有
被毁了。你还好吗？天啊，多么美好的
天啊。什么？天气方面，
我了解
你的空气，
的树木，即使娜娜走了，
还有一些我几乎不知道的事情
，几乎就像
我很好。我很好。
我最害怕的事刚刚发生，
但是
你们太可爱了。我知道。
好吧。明天见。好的。
好的。
[音乐]
你知道，我喜欢和你一起做填字游戏
，亲爱的。我也是。现在，让我们
完成这个并去睡觉。好的，只剩下
一个了。三字词。不是
狗，而是
猫。
是的。你真聪明。
我爱你。我也爱你。
大家好，感恩节快乐。不，
不，不，不，不，不。今年
感恩节我们要保密什么？不。我们
正在玩我在工作中学到的这个游戏。
您必须在六
分钟内说出所有州的名称。什么？这简直太简单了
。不，这比
听起来要困难得多。你总是会忘记至少一个
，或者在某些
情况下14。
这是一场愚蠢的游戏，我并没有和其他人玩
，所以从技术上来说我
并没有输。什么？你忘了14个州吗？
没有人关心达科他州。
哦，好吧。时间到了。好的。我得到了
48。哦，这还不错，宝贝。哦，我
厌倦了命名状态，所以我决定
列出
芹菜的类型。我有一颗普通的芹菜。
好的，Rachel 得了 48，Phoebe 在蔬菜方面
领先
。乔伊，向钱德勒哑州
新冠军问好。哇。你有多少？ 56.
游戏的
嘿，小偷。猜猜我们今天看到了谁？
哦。哦，有趣。好的。嗯，利亚姆·尼斯。不。
我们在哪里更安全？没有。
给我剪头发的女人。好的。看，这可能是
一场非常漫长的比赛。你的妹妹乌苏拉。
哦，真的吗？是的。是的。她在那个地方工作了
年。呃，格里夫。是的，我知道。
哦，你知道吗？因为她说你们
已经好几年没说话了。嗯。是的。
那么，嗯，她胖吗？
不是从我站的地方看的。
你
站在哪里？嗯，收费。所以，你们
就是合不来。这大多只是
愚蠢的姐妹的东西，你知道吗？我的意思是，
就像，每个人都认为她是
漂亮的，你知道吗？
哦，哦，她是第一个
开始走路的人，尽管我在同一天
晚些时候也这样做了。
但那时对我的父母来说，
“是的，对。好吧，还有什么新鲜事吗？
一些陌生人将住在
我的房间里。”好吧，在妈妈
和爸爸将它作为您的圣地 15 年后，
是时候放下天鹅绒绳索了。
我保留了你的房间一段时间。哦，
，拜托。我搬出去 20
分钟后，爸爸把我的房间变成了健身房。我必须说，
一张晒黑床和一堆维多利亚的
秘密目录，而不是健身房。
来吧。而且您知道他们爱您就像
一样爱您。我是他们第一个出生的
。他们认为她不能生育。这
不是我的错。
看，我的所有东西都安全且干燥。
她所有的东西都是在种植新的
东西。看，这正是
的事情，让她认为你们爱
我胜过爱她。我的天啊。
她真的这么认为吗？好吧，
你能责怪她吗？我不知道。我我我
想我们可能不知不觉地偏爱你
。你是一个医学
奇迹。医生说你妈妈
可以爸爸。我不想听到
。真的吗？嗯，不是现在。呃，
早上。嘿。嘿。嘿。你们
认为你们可以闭上眼睛
一秒钟吗？哦，不。不，不，不。我不会再
上当了。
发生了什么事？好吧，我做了一个
昨晚的蠢事。你做了什么愚蠢的
事？
[鼓掌]
好吧，Paulo，你为什么不去穿好
衣服然后就可以上路了。好的。
再见。再见。
雷切尔，这是怎么发生的？我不知道
。我昨晚
晚上碰见了他。在哪里？在他的公寓里。这是
果汁吗？
哇哦。哇哦。事实上，你抛弃了
他，因为他爱上了菲比。哦，上帝。我
知道。我很可怜。我是一个失败者。
亲爱的，你并不可怜。你只是
你很伤心。是的。我的意思是，人们在沮丧时会做
蠢事。我的
上帝。如果我每个人都能得到五分钱的话我
希望我没有。
来吧。一定有什么东西。
哦，她很完美。
我有一个。
太棒了。好吧，你可以先走了。呃，好吧，
我想我不会错过这个事实
：你永远不被允许移动
手机密码。
这很好。好的，莫妮卡，
有什么事吗？你知道，Rachel 移动了
手机密码吗？
啊，有时。
实际上，总是如此。
好的，很好。就这样吧。
大家是不是感觉好多了？
不仅仅是泡沫销。
我从来没有收到我的消息。您收到
条消息了吗？是的。好吧，如果你在沙发上
真的没有什么意义。那么您错过了来自谁的
，我认为
睡着后还得从手背上读它们
消息？钱德勒或你妈妈
或者钱德勒或你妈妈？
嗯，这就是
我。
给，这个。无论如何，我只允许携带一件
件随身行李。
等等。
呃，听着。我我我必须告诉你
一些事情。嗯，我一直在想。我
只是想站出来说出来，好吗？
我我我
我想我爱你。
哦，谢谢。
[笑声]
没问题。
嘿伙计们。嘿。那么，你觉得怎么样？
关于什么？什么？是的。什么？你
在开玩笑吗？好吧，我给你一个提示。
我给你一个提示。
眼睛。不，不，你的眼睛。不。钱德勒的
只眼睛。
我戴了眼镜。
你一直戴着眼镜。
不，我没有。
你确定吗？
是的。你以前不是有一双
吗？它们真的很圆，
酒红色，让你看起来有点
嗯女性化。是的。
不，亲爱的。我认为这副眼镜看起来
很棒。它们让你看起来非常性感。
真的吗？是的。你以为我
以前不戴眼镜，对吗？当然。
你知道，一切都会好起来的。
宝宝正在睡觉。如果她从摇篮里跳
怎么办？无法抬起自己的
头。但是，是的，跳了。
天啊。我让水一直流着。
瑞秋，你没有让水
一直流着。请振作起来
。好的。等等，我是否让
炉子开着？你从 1996 年起就没有做饭了。
窗户开着吗？因为如果
窗口打开，鸟儿就可以飞进
那里。哦天啊。你知道吗？我
认为你是对的。我想你知道
什么？听着，听着。一只鸽子。不，不行
。不，不。一只老鹰飞入
。落在炉子上并着火
。婴儿看到这一幕，跳
穿过公寓去寻求强大的
鸟的帮助。然而，老鹰
将此误解为
侵略行为，并以其
天赋抓住了婴儿。与此同时，
公寓的水龙头注满了水。宝贝和小鸟，
仍然着火，被死死地抓住
。围绕
充满公寓的漩涡旋转。
孩子，如果
是真的，你会感到抱歉吗？我需要和你谈谈。当然。
怎么了？哦，抱歉。我指的是钱德勒。
我我知道。
好吧，如果有事情
哦，我很高兴你们已经摆脱了那张
尴尬的小脸。
好的。我的老板乔安娜，当你离开时，她
开始问有关你的问题。就像
她所看到的那样，是吧？
道格我的行为，是吗？退房
chen 链名称。
[掌声]
这太超现实了。
好的。你怎么认为？您对
感兴趣吗？是的，她看起来很酷。
有吸引力。我会做的。哦，谢谢你，
钱德勒。这太棒了。她会
来爱我。嘿，恐龙棕褐色。快，
所有人都进屋了。
[音乐]
伙计们，我想让你们认识一个人
。
[音乐]
等等，等等。那是什么？那就是
马塞尔。你想打个招呼吗？不，不，我
不喜欢。哦，他很珍贵。你从哪里
找到他的？我的朋友贝瑟尔从某个实验室救了他
。那太残酷了。为什么？
为什么父母会给他们的孩子命名
Bethl？
嘿，那只猴子的
屁股上有一个罗斯。
罗斯，他会像
一样和你一起住在你的公寓里吗？是的。我的意思是，自从卡罗尔离开后，
有点安静了。那么，
你为什么不找个室友呢？呃，我
不知道。嗯，我想你已经到了
某个年龄了。有一个室友只是
一种
pathet，这就是
pathet的生活方式。
嘿。嘿。
我刚刚在银行，有一个
这位非常性感的出纳员，她没有
让我和她一起去
金库做这件事。
同样的事情也发生在我身上。女人
披萨送货员过来，给了我
披萨，拿了钱，然后离开了。
什么？不喜欢漂亮的公寓。我敢打赌，
间卧室很大。
什么也没有。
你知道吗？我们必须关闭
色情内容。我认为你是对的。
就像，好吧。准备好？一二三。
这很好。
是的，这让人松了一口气。
你想看看我们还有吗？
是的。
免费。我们有免费的
嗯，你好。
我在菜单上没有看到这个。
蒂姆，这是菲比。菲比。这是
蒂姆，我的新苏厨师。哦，原来你是
莫妮卡的老板。事实上，她是我的老板。
Sue 是法语，意思是“下面”。啊，我起诉
立场。
嘿蒂姆，我需要一份鱿鱼和凯撒
沙拉。嗯，你能给我一份
香蒜沙司吗？是的。你做了香蒜酱吗？是的，我
做到了。您认为您的香蒜沙司是
最好的吗？我不知道，但我会说
非常好。噢，
我还需要鱿鱼和凯撒
沙拉。我喜欢你的项链。哦，我自己做了
。你太有才华了。好吧，
这不是香蒜酱。
好的。好的。让我们切入正题
。好的。你是单身。你
单身。他 11:00 下班。
她会等待您的电话。如果我能买
给他你的电话号码。
一份鱿鱼和一份凯撒沙拉，我就会
我没有大喊大叫。我不会在罐子里放
美元。
我们是情侣，这就是
情侣所做的事情。我想见见你的
父母。我们应该和你的
父母一起去旅行。
我认为我们不需要这样做，因为你现在正在
绊倒我。
你还好吗？不，我是。我确实是。我
的意思是，这太棒了。我一生
都害怕这个地方。现在我
在这里，我想，有什么大不了的？
我的意思是，我可能会说，“我们
搬到一起吧”，这样我就可以了。你
可能希望我们搬到一起住。
这并没有吓到我。是的，好吧，
让我害怕。我的意思是，我什至还没有离婚
，钱德勒。你知道，你刚刚
邀请我来这里吃意大利面，
突然你就喜欢谈论
搬到一起住，而我什至
都没那么饿。你知道吗？
已经很晚了，我应该嗯不，
不，不，别走。我吓到你了。我
说得太多了。我绝望又尴尬
并且渴望爱情。
是的。你想要吗？
不。我讨厌猫。好吧，那么
你对我做了什么？好的，离开这里
。好吧，继续吧。
天啊。哇，多么不寻常的猫啊。是的，
谢谢。确切地。你想要吗？或许。
我正在考虑养一只猫。我
正要去避难所，但是
好吧，为什么不呢？噢，太棒了。这将是
2,000 美元。
什么？好吧，1000。我以为你想让
我收养你的猫。嗯，我愿意，但是
你必须实际上
将其视为一项投资
而不是一只猫。好的。是的。我只想要一只
猫。是的。好的。
好的。显然，你知道如何讨价还价。
所以，我不会尝试带你
。好的。所以，800 美元。我不会报警
，我应该报警，因为你
抢劫了我。瞎的。瞎的。你很活跃。
带上猫，留下钱，然后
逃跑。就跑吧。该死的。嘿，
你就不能至少微笑一下吗？
你醒了。看看你。你感觉怎么样
你感觉怎么样？呃，有点晕，但是
基本上还可以。天哪，你看起来不错。
我感觉
很好。你是谁？哦，抱歉。我是
菲比·巴菲特。我是莫妮卡·盖勒。我
一直在照顾你。但我们都
都有。所以，Etcha 草图来自你们
。嗯，实际上，这只是我自己的。
是的，我给你买了足部按摩器。你
知道谁给你刮胡子吗？那是我。我给你读了
。我唱了。哈。
好的，谢谢。哦，我很高兴。不客气
。所以，我想我们
再见。
什么？就是
。再见。好吧，你
想让我说什么？哦，我不知道。或许。
嗯，那很好。向我
承认一些事情。我会打电话给你。
好的，我给你打电话。我不认为
你是这个意思。
等一下。你整天呆在家里
，玩吃豆人小姐，而我像个傻瓜一样去
去工作。
我得到了所有前 10 名的分数。我
把菲比从黑板上抹掉了。高五。
你的手怎么了？
嗯，我已经玩了
八个小时了。就会松了来吧，
看看分数。哦，还有看
以首字母开头。这些都是脏话。
钱德勒，你为什么要这么做？因为
太棒了。
你认为这很聪明吗？好吧，你
知道，他们只给你三个字母，
，所以在成为SS之后，这有点
挑战。
等一下。这个不脏。
嗯，就是当你把它与
放在一起时。
哦，好吧。如果您不清除此选项，
您将不会为我
获得其中之一。本明天会来这里
玩这个游戏。这不可能在那里。
来吧。他甚至不知道它们
的含义。杰勒，他七岁了。他并不
傻。你最近和他谈过吗？
这就是我跟你说过的那个人。
是的。是的。相信我，这套衣服
并没有公正地展示它下面的东西
。
好的。但我不能，我只是处于
某件事的中间。哦好的。是的，
没关系。请坐。
你不能这样做。也许我应该走。
坐下吧。我们赢了。
好的。你知道吗？也许我应该走。
不，不，不。请坐。您有
个座位。雷切尔。 Rachel，你还没
碰过 Elon 的头发。这是最柔软的
头发。触摸它。我很好。雷切尔。
帕特里克真的很有钱。给她一些
钱。
你知道吗，菲比？这真的不值得
免费按摩。没错，
帕特里克。再见。不，埃琳娜更加合作
，而且他会跳舞。你为瑞秋跳舞
。
不，不，不。别为我跳舞。请
不要这样做。你们怎么了？
是的。好吧，我们来谈谈吧。我
我是唯一一个
感到尴尬的人吗？我有点
尴尬。什。
[鼓掌]
晚上好
。我是
Tribani 先生，我将教授肥皂剧表演
。现在，
嗯，在我在 Days of Our Lives 中扮演德雷克·拉莫尔博士
的第一天，
呃，我了解到肥皂剧表演中最
重要的事情之一是
做出反应。这并不意味着再次执行
。这意味着您没有台词
，但其他人刚刚台词了。事情是这样的
。
谢谢。谢谢。多谢。哦，顺便提一下
，在我忘记之前，要在
肥皂剧中工作，你们中的一些人将不得不
变得更具吸引力。
好的，继续前进。好吧，
当您在玩机器时，
尚未支付，潜伏者会等待您
放弃，然后杀死您。
不，他们会突然袭击并偷走您的
大奖。
哦。嗯。你怎么知道这件事？我的
奶奶曾经这样做过。嗯。这就是她
支付我所有舞蹈空手道课程费用的方式。
跳舞空手道？是的。这是一项致命但
美丽的运动。
你的吻刚刚告诉了我
一些事情。我的灵魂死了。
哦，好吧。又输了。
就是这样。你和我在外面。
我不想看到你失去一截
那漂亮的金发。
这会很有趣。
那是什么？你好。嗯，我只是想
如果我们三个
喝点啤酒并互相认识
会很有趣。是的。好吧，听起来
没问题。哦，很好。好的。哦，不。我必须
去，因为我参加我的绿鸡蛋
和火腿讨论
小组迟到了。嗯，这就是为什么他今晚不会
在火车上吃它们。
玩得开心。再见。那太蹩脚了。我知道。
是的。
好的。和他谈谈。
所以，你呃，你认为那个速度赛车手
得到了很多票
或者那很好。那挺好的。那么，谁
和谁分手了？什么？你
在开玩笑吗？我和她分手了。她
实际上认为山本是柬埔寨的
首都。
太好了，伙计。当每个人都知道
柬埔寨的首都是
呃好吧，这不是肖恩。伙计们，我
告诉你们，当她跑步时，她看起来
就像青蛙克米特和
价值 600 万美元的男人的混合体。
莫妮卡非常迷恋他，以至于她
每晚
睡觉前都会亲吻他的海报。哦，我以前也这么做过
。你也有他的专辑吗？
绿色环保并不容易。
哦，所以菲比跑得很奇怪，是吧？是的。
是的。你知道吗？而且我知道
她会想再次竞选。我只是
我不知道如何摆脱它。
我的意思是，我和她住在一起。你为什么不
对她说实话呢？告诉她
真相。你说得对。你说得对。我
应该告诉她真相。嘿。
嘿。嘿，宝贝。莫妮卡绊倒了我。我
认为我再也无法跑步了。
为什么？你为什么要这么做？我不知道
。
我很抱歉弄伤了你的脚踝。
脚踝。我们拭目以待。曾经不得不解雇
个人吗？
尼娜。
尼娜。
尼娜。尼娜.
你还好吗？
是的。我是。呃，听着，我今天叫你来这里的原因
是
呃，请不要恨我。
什么？
你想找个时间吃晚饭吗？
[音乐]
那就是克莱斯勒大楼
。
尼娜，
道格拉斯先生。凉爽的。领带。
她还在这里。是的。是的，她是。
菲比，我完全理解。是的，
无论你需要什么。
嘿，你想回家吗？好的，谢谢。
抱歉
[笑声]又
。那是什么？
[鼓掌]
呃，我猜门槛现在已经明确了
。
嘿。嘿，盗贼们。哦，嘿。
狗怎么样？好的。我和兽医谈过。北部地区的
人非常友善。不管怎样，他说
那个小家伙会
没事，我明天可以去接他。哦，
很好。感谢上帝。是的。但他确实
缝了一堆针，而且他
说，
狗的耳朵很少会重新长出来。那么，您的
情况是什么？
哦，好吧，这很复杂。我
实际上没有男朋友，但是嗯
我可以知道你的电话号码吗？
对不起。不，好吧。
哦，当然。
天啊。您提供的是真实的
号码。
好的。谢谢。今晚
我稍后会给您打电话。伟大的。再见。再见。
哇。所以，那太好了。
你、比尔、罗斯和艾玛会
在一起非常快乐。
你在想什么？我不知道。他
很可爱，他喜欢我。这是一种
的冲动。但罗斯呢？
你的时刻怎么样？您不想和
Ross 谈谈吗？不。不。因为我
确切地知道对话将如何
进行。嘿，罗斯。你知道，我想我们刚才已经
了。是的。我也是
。好吧，但我不确定我是否真的
想要对此做任何事情。是的。我
也不是。好吧，莫妮卡，亲爱的。我
现在就要上路了。我把
10 个动词留在桌子上，你一定要
并将完成的诗发送给我。好的，
我们就这么做。我很高兴你能来。我想
我在大厅里看到了雷切尔。好吧，让
我去检查一下。哦，好吧。
你妈妈想要说再见。哦好的。
生日快乐，亲爱的。
好的。呃，你开车要注意安全。好的，老板。
你在做什么？
我正在为水上
滑雪做好准备。大大的拥抱。再来一张。大大的拥抱。来
吧，宝贝。
你好吗？
呃，Pink 博士，你要去哪里买我的
外套？
好吧。好的。我可以得到我自己的
外套。
抱歉，我们正处于高度紧张状态。
嘿，请告诉我您收到了消息。
什么消息？扮演 Mac
的演员却做不到。他们需要在 2:00 见您
。什么？现在是 6:00。
我写在黑板上。我把
写在黑板上，然后我走遍
纽约城寻找你。我去了
罗斯家。我去了咖啡馆。我
去了他们做
三明治的任何地方。
我简直不敢相信，钱德勒。对不起。我
我我不知道该说什么。好吧，你
你可能会说，
“恭喜。我看到了黑板。我
去试镜了。我得到了黑板。”
这应该很有趣吗？我
在这里真的很担心。哦，好吧，你
知道，有时候假装的东西
只是意味着。哦，哇。好吧，伙计。我
抱歉。我不是故意让你感觉
不好。好吧，那很好，因为你
没有。而且我为你
感到非常高兴。
太卑鄙了。
...
我们可以整天这样。
是的，我知道我们只出去过两次，但我不知道。哦，我听说
...
...
离婚账单。 be a problem. What? I have a
...
...
gun. Okay, just just relax, Phoebe. Just
stay calm.
Oh my god, I can't find my wallet.
All right, lady. Now, give me your
purse. No. What do you mean no? I knew
you'd be my death. Phoebe Buffet.
LOL. Is that you? Phoebe? Oh my god. Oh
my god.
I'm sorry, Ross. This is my old friend
LOL from the streets.
LOL. Ross. Ross. It's nice to meet you.
A real pleasure.
It's been so long. Oh, so long. I can't
believe you're still doing this. Ah, I
know.但我戒烟了。
你有尼克的门票吗？是的，我妈妈
...
离婚时把它们给了我。
是的，它们是
的好座位。哦，天啊，这些几乎就在地板上。
...
哦， well, you got him. All right, just
...
give us our apartment back.
Oh, I didn't see that coming.
Are you serious? Oh, come on. We know
what these are worth. What? Do you think
we're stupid? Not stupid. You're meaner
than I thought.
What do you say? Forget it. Okay. Hey,
我不会为了
个你的单身汉席位而放弃我的单身汉公寓。
垫？你这里有过女孩吗？
没有，但是呃乔伊有，我通常在早上和他们说话
。
是的，你知道。
[音乐]
[英语]
Show
重点词汇
开始练习
| 词汇 | 含义 |
|---|---|
|
revolutionary ˌrɛvəˈluːʃənɛri C1 |
|
|
guarantees ˌɡærənˈtiːz B2 |
|
|
cartons ˈkɑːrtənz A2 |
|
|
milk mɪlk A1 |
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master ˈmæstər B2 |
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phase feɪz B1 |
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strip strɪp B1 |
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club klʌb A2 |
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naked ˈneɪkɪd B1 |
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audition ˈɔːdɪʃən B1 |
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fluent ˈfluːənt B2 |
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resume rɪˈzjuːm B1 |
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romantic roʊˈmæntɪk B1 |
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champagne ʃæmˈpeɪn B2 |
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candle ˈkændəl A2 |
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moonlight ˈmuːnˌlaɪt B1 |
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marriage ˈmærɪdʒ B1 |
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goldfish ˈɡoʊldˌfɪʃ A2 |
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重点语法结构
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