– 英语/中文 双语歌词

歌词与翻译

[中文]

（丹用钢琴砸自己的头）诶嘿嘿嘿嘿嘿嘿嘿！！！！！！！！

咚咚咚咚咚

大家好，我想跟大家讲一个关于梦想的故事

以及梦想是如何被粉碎和消亡的——（也就是液压机☺）

很多人都知道我弹钢琴（天赋异禀，厉害了，但没人关心）

糟 - 糕 - 的

（弹奏《闪烁闪烁小星星》我惊奇你在哪里）

这并不是我的家人从小强迫我做的事情。（哇哦 0_0）

我实际上是在十二岁的时候自己决定开始学习的

因为我看到了一些如此美丽和鼓舞人心的东西……

它永远改变了我的生活……

an episode of arthur ( the hell |: ')

我不是在开玩笑，这就是我想要学习钢琴的原因（哼，才怪）

（亚瑟演奏《致爱丽丝》）嗯呢呢呢呢呢呢呢呢呢呢呢呢呢呢呢呢呢呢呢呢呢呢

我真的被亚瑟这只土拨鼠演奏《致爱丽丝》深深感动了。

并且觉得他非常酷，你知道，他当然很酷。语言啊。

我只想变得像他，所以我问我妈妈是否可以上钢琴课。

现在，我的家人负担不起买一架真正的钢琴，或者任何东西。

所以我不得不等几个月，直到圣诞节，我才得到这把破键盘

你们知道的，那种学校里都有的，会发出（哦不，我还没准备好）

DJ！1!1!1!

还有（嗯HHHH）和（耶）

是的，我最初的几个月几乎只是发出性感的噪音。（( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°))

但后来终于可以上课了。

并实现我成为一只土拨鼠的梦想

我花了几个星期时间通过为我的家人和邻居做一些工作来攒钱。

然后发现我街上有一位钢琴老师

一位上了五十岁的老太太

现在你可能想知道为什么我把这说成了一个糟糕的故事

以及为什么这一切听起来都像是过去式。

毕竟，如果我十二年前就开始学习，我肯定现在是一位了不起的钢琴家了？

不，因为我学了八周就放弃了

现在，我为什么要放弃我真心受到启发的事情

并且至今仍然热爱的事情

很简单。我的钢琴老师是

一个邪恶的怪物！语言啊！

像大象踩踏一朵天真无邪的花朵一样，摧毁了我的精神！

（rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr）

冷静点

最初看起来像一位慈祥的奶奶教孩子们音乐的乐趣

实际上是一位施虐狂女巫，通过撕碎孩子们的梦想来打发时间

哈哈哈，诶嘿嘿嘿嘿嘿嘿嘿嘿嘿，啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊

这是我们第一次见面的真实重现

this is an accurate recreation of the first time we met

我要学钢琴ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

然后我就会很酷，终于有朋友了

坐下，婊子

你好，我叫（丹 *战争闪回* 咚迪嘟伊xzoj\8f76e）

说话时要听别人说！

*忍受痛苦*

你想学钢琴吗？

是吗？

嘿嘿嘿嘿嘿嘿嘿嘿嘿嘿嘿嘿嘿嘿嘿嘿嘿嘿嘿嘿嘿嘿

她肯定有什么问题，天啊

直到今天，我从未见过像这位钢琴老师一样顽固悲观，而且坦率地说，令人毛骨悚然的人。

以下是一些她实际对我说的各种话（不是点击诱饵）

here are some of the various things she actually said to me (not clickbait)

让我看看你的手 (( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 对不起)

嗯，又胖又丑的手指，这不太有希望.....................................

【过渡音效】

我只教古典乐，不教你想要弹奏的流行音乐。

而且我来选择

哦，我自学了《致爱丽丝》

真的吗？

那让我听听你弹奏吧

*尽可能用力地吸气，因为氧气是必要的*

停下，太糟糕了，我不知道是否有可能忘记它。

但这是我最喜欢的歌！！！我真的很想好好学会它。

这是一首糟糕的歌，我讨厌它，这是贝多芬创作的最糟糕的东西。

【过渡音效】

（精神崩溃）钢琴仍然很有趣

有趣有趣，不害怕，晚上不哭泣

你迟到了4分钟。

对不起，我不得不帮邻居洗车来支付今天的课费。

如果你负担不起，那就别浪费我的时间。

我不是为了好玩才做这个的。

丹又一次精神崩溃

这都是我记忆中超过十年的真实引言

我不知道为什么?????

她就像《爆裂鼓手》里的那个人，只是我没有任何需要磨练的天赋。

我以为学习乐器会很有趣的任何方面

都变成了一些我做错的事情。

说实话，学习乐谱只是另一种我放学后必须完成的家庭作业。

我实际上会做数学作业来拖延练习钢琴，因为害怕。

这很沉重

现在我猜你一定在想，好吧，丹，你要说什么？

她会用一个悲惨的背景故事来救赎自己吗，或者你们两个会一起从树上救出一只猫？

然后成为最好的朋友？

不，她只是个混蛋。

我希望你是一个会嘲笑别人不幸的人

而不是坐在那里，脸上带着悲伤的表情

因为这只会越来越糟。

她彻底让我失去信心的时候

是她上课的时候去洗手间

我利用这个机会偷偷地在她的房子里搜查

当然

寻找她是一个超级恶棍或外星人的证据

你的儿子被掉落的钢琴砸死了

不，你嫁给了一架钢琴，但后来它死了

不，你想要成为一架钢琴，但你却生为人

然后她打开冰箱，你知道，每个人都把秘密藏在那里

我发誓，这是整个事件中最奇怪的事情

她的整个冰箱都装满了肉。

只有肉

没有蔬菜，没有牛奶（战争闪回），没有任何调味品

只是装在盒子里的单独的肉块

不，不，不，不

回想起来，她完全可能是一个食人者。

我不知道为什么我以前没有提到过这件事

两个月，每周两次，我遭受她的虐待，身处可怕的尘土飞扬的肉洞中

而且还要自己付钱

直到有一天，我突然意识到

深呼吸

等等，如果我攒钱，我现在可以买一台PS2了

去他妈的

我只是没有去上课

我回到家，一边吃着薯片，一边看了一集《亚瑟》

而且我也没有做数学作业

没有相关原因，我只是不喜欢我的数学老师（一样）

镜头操作，好吧，今天我们来谈谈剑。

我感觉我终于战胜了操纵行为的循环

而且快乐开始回归我的生活

就在这时，就像一部非常奇怪的电影的高潮一样

她出现在我家外面

你好？？？

我从未想过她会来找我

我不知道这个蝙蝠会走路

我只是认为她像某种奇怪的真菌一样从钢琴底下长出来的

我意识到，如果我想要报复她

现在就是机会

我独自在家，只有我和老师，周围没有人能看到我做什么

所以你知道我做了什么？

我躲起来了

我跑上楼，真的躲在床底下

又一次精神崩溃

我非常害怕她

我不在乎她是否没有力气打开门

或者她从街上蹒跚到我家会消耗她剩余的生命力

从吸取无辜婴儿的灵魂

我没有和她对峙，所以我躲了一个小时

然后她离开了

我再也没有和她说过话

没有钢琴了，没有钢琴了，没有钢琴了

啊，随便吧

我告诉我的父母她搬到苏格兰了（或其他地方）

我决定把我的钱花在能让我快乐的事情上（PS2？）

一只仓鼠（真的吗）

我们都知道结局如何，不是吗？

哦，R.I.P苏基

天啊，我小时候经历过创伤，不是吗？

就这样，我的父母永远不知道我为什么停止上课

我再也没有和邪恶的钢琴老师说过话

我也没有学会如何阅读乐谱或以任何方式提高水平。

所以现在我只是通过耳朵学习我喜欢的歌曲

然后弹得非常糟糕。

【演奏《爱乐之城》中的《Mia and Sebastian's Theme》结尾】

【铃声，掌声】

但是现在，经过了字面意义上的十年

我想我终于走出来了，并且正在考虑再次上课，

这就是我决定拍摄这个视频的原因

而且嘿，如果这次老师对我不好，

我会告诉妈妈！

而不是像小时候那样默默忍受。

我小时候经常默默忍受。

我想我在这段视频中要表达的观点是

不要让任何人摧毁你的精神，

找到一个积极的人，他们会培养你的才能并激励你，

亚瑟对我的童年影响比任何成年人都大。

结束。

好吧，这就像一次公开的心理治疗，不是吗？

哎，我骗谁呢，这整个频道都是这样，不是吗？

在下面的评论中留下任何关于你可能遇到的任何疯狂的，或者也许是鼓舞人心的老师的故事

希望结局比我的更好，

我会稍后阅读那些。谢谢。

8:44.4 - 如果你想了解更多关于比你更不正常的人的略微过于私人的故事

那么你可以点击这里订阅我的频道，

并确保点击小铃铛以获取上传通知。

另外，请务必查看我每周上传到我的副频道的视频，

这些是长达一小时的直播

在那里，我进行深刻的、哲学的、亲密的对话

如果你想看到我的另一面，你可能会喜欢。

而且是的，亚瑟是一种旨在洗脑我们孩子的毛茸茸的宣传。

就这样。再见！

[英语]

(dan hitting himself in the head with a piano) EHEHEHEHEEEEEEEEEEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dundundundundun

Hello Internet, I'd like to tell you a story about dreams

and how they get crushed and die (aka a hydraulic press ☺)

a lot of guys know that i play the piano (such talent much wow and no one cares)

B A D L Y

(plays Twinkle Twinkle Little Star how i wunda wot u r)

it's not something my family forced me to do when i was younger.( W O A H 0_0)

i actually decided to start learning myself when i was twelve

when i saw something so beautiful and inspiring....

that it changed my life forever....

an episode of arthur ( the hell |: ')

i am not joking this is what made me want to learn piano ( pfff yeah right)

(Arthur playing Für Elise)nyenenenenenenenenenenenenenneennenennenennenenenennenennenennenennennenenennenennenennenen

i was just so genuinely moved by arthur the aardvark playing für elise.

and thought he was so damn cool which you know obviously he is. LANGUAGE

and just wanted to be like him that i asked my mum if i could have piano lessons.

now, my family couldnmt afford to buy a proper piano or anything generally.

so i had to wait several months until christmas when i got this shitty keyboard

you know the one, the one that they had in all the schools that does the (oh no i'm not ready for this)

dj!1!1!1

and the (mmmHHHH) and the (yeeee)

yeah, i spent the first few months pretty much just making sex noises. (( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°))

but then it was finally time to get lessons.

and fulfill my dream of becoming an aardvark

i spent weeks saving up money by doing jobs for my family and my neighbours.

and found there was a piano teacher on my street

a little old lady who had been a tutor for about fifty years

now you may be wondering why i made out like this was a bad story

and why this all sounds quite past tense.

after all if i started learning twelve years ago surely i'm so incredible pianist by now?

nope bc i quit after eight weeks

now why would i quit something that i was genuinely inspired to do

and still love to this day

easy. my piano teacher was

an eVIL FUCKING MONSTER LANGUAGE

WHO CRUSHED MY SPIRIT LIKE AN ELEPHANT TRAMPLING ON A SWEET INNOCENT FLOWER

(crrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr)

take it easy

what first appeared to be a kind grandma teaching children the joys of music

turned out to be sadistic witch passing the time until her lonely death

by shredding children's aspirations to pieces

HAHUEHEUHEUEHEUEHEUEHEFFTRDFRETRFREGFYYUGY^YGUY^&HYUIUY^U(*YU^

this is an accurate recreation of the first time we met

i'm gonna learn the pianioooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

and then ill be cool and finally have frengnz

sIt betch

hi my name is (d a n *war flashbacks* dundidduiyxzozj\8f76e)

spEAK WHEN SPOKEN 2

*swallows pain*

you want to play the piano fo u??

yes?

HEUEHUEHEUHUEHEUEHUEHEUEHEUEHEUEHEHEUEHEHUEEHUEEHjhuujfhdli

there was something bloody wrong with her jeeeeeeeeeeez

to this day i have never met someone as relentlessly miserable

negative and frankly creepy as this piano teacher

here are some of the various things she actually said to me (not clickbait)

show me yo hands (( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) i'm sorry)

um ugly fat fingers that's not promising.....................................

[Transitional sound effect]

i teach classical only none of this pop rubbish that you'll want to play

and i choose

oh i taught myself how to play für elise

really?

well let me hear you play it

*inhales as hard as possible bc oxygen is necessary*

stop awful i don't know if it's possible to unlearn that

but it's my fav song!!! i'd love to learn to play it properly

it's a terrible song i hate it, it is easily the worst thing beethoven ever composed

[Transitional sound effect]

(having mental breakdown) piano's still fun

fUn fUn not afraid or crying at night

yo are 4 minutes l8.

sorry i had to wash my neighbour's car to get money for today's lesson

if you can't afford it then don't waste my time

im not doing this for fun

dan having a mental breakdown again

literally exact quotes that have stuck with me for over a decade

i wonder why?????

she was the guy from whiplash except i had no talents to refine

any aspect that i might have thought would be fun about learning an instrument

just turned into something that i was doing wrong

and tbh learning to read sheet music just felt like another piece of homework that i had to fo after school

i'd actually do math hw to procrastinate from practising piano out of fear

that's heavy

now i bet you're thinking alright dan where's this going?

is she gonna redeem herself with a tragic backstory, or maybe you'll both rescue a cat out of a tree together?

and become bff's?

nope no idea she was just a total dick

i hope you're somebody that laughs at other people's misfortunes

you're not just sat there with a sad face already

bc this is just gonna keep going downhill

the moment she completely lost me though

was when she went to the bathroom once in a lesson

and i used the opportunity to snoop around her house

obviously

looking for some kind of proof that she was a super villain or alien

your son was killed by a falling piano

no you were married to a piano but then he died

no you wanted to be a piano but you were born in a human body

and decided to open her fridge cause you know obviously thats were everybody keeps their secrets

and i shit u not this was by far the weirdest thing in this whole ordeal

her entire fridge was filled with meat.

jus meat

no vegetables no milk (war flashbacks) no condiments of any kind

just individual bits of meat in boxes

nope, nope, nope, nope

in hindsight she could have totally been a cannibal or something

i have no idea why i didn't mention this go anyone

for 2 months twice a week i was subjected to her abuse in the terrifying dusty meat cave

and paying for it myself

until one day i had a profound realisation

breathes

wait a minute if i saved my money i could have boughg a PS2 by now

fuck this

and i just didnt turn up to the lesson

i went home, watched an episode of arthur with a bag of crisps

and didn't do my math hw either

no related reason i just didn't like my math teacher (same)

shot op okei r8 todai lads we're going (down down) 2 b talking bout sords.

i felt like i finally beat the cycle of manipulative behaviour

and the joy was beginning to return to my life

when suddenly like the climax of a rly weird movie

she turned up outside my house

hello????

i never considered that she'd come to me

i didn't know this bat could walk

i just assumed that she grew out of the floot by her piano like some weird fungus

i realised that if i ever wanted to get even w/ her

now was the chance

i was home alone just me and the teacher with no one around to see what i'd do

so you know what i did?

i hid

i ran upstairs and literally covered under the bed

having a mental breakdown yet again

i was fucking terrified of her

i didnt care if she wasnt strong enough to open the door by herself

or if shuffling up the street to my hpuse used what little life force she had left

from sucking the souls of innocent babies

i was not confronting her so i hid for about an hour

and she left

and i never spoke to her again

no more piano no more pianonomorepiano

ah wtv

i told my parents she moved to scotland or something

and i decided that instead i would spend my money on something that would make me happy (a PS2?)

a pet hamster (really m8)

and we all know how well that worked out dont we

oh r.i.p suki

jesus i had a traumatizing childhood didnt i???

and there we go my parentd never found out why i stopped my lessons

i didn't speak to the evil piano teacher ever again

and i didnt get round to learning how to read sheet music or improving in any way.

so now i just learn songs that i like by ear

and play them really badly.

[plays Mia and Sebastian's Theme from 'La La Land' end]

[bell sounds, applause]

but now, after literally ten years

I think I'm finally over it and I'm actually considering getting lessons again,

which is why i decided to film this

and hey, this time, if the teacher's mean to me,

I'll tell my Mum!

Instead of just suffering in silence.

Which I did quite a lot as a child.

I guess the point I'm making in this video

is don't let anybody crush your spirit,

find somebody positive that will nurture your talent and inspire you,

and Arthur had a bigger impression on me as a child than any adult.

The End.

Well, that was really like a public therapy session, wasn't it?

Eh, who am I kidding, that's this entire channel, isn't it?

Leave a comment down below this post telling me any stories that you might have

about any insane, or maybe inspiring, teachers that have a more just ending than mine hopefully,

and I will read those later. Thanks.

8:44.4 If you want more slightly too personal stories from somebody less functional than yourself

then you can click here to subscribe to my channel,

and make sure you ding that bell to get notifications when I upload.

Also, make sure you check out the videos that I am uploading to my side channel each week,

which are hour-long livestreams

where I have deep, philosophical, intimate conversations about things

which you might enjoy if you want to see another side of me,

and yeah, Arthur is furry propaganda designed to brainwash our children

and that is all. Bye!

重点词汇

词汇	含义
dreams /driːmz/ B1	noun - 梦想 (mèngxiǎng)
crushed /krʌʃt/ B1	verb - 压碎 (yāsuì)
talent /ˈtælənt/ B1	noun - 天赋 (tiānfù)
inspiring /ɪnˈspaɪərɪŋ/ B2	adjective - 鼓舞人心的 (gǔwǔ rénxīn de)
episode /ˈepɪsoʊd/ B1	noun - 一集 (yī jí)
joking /ˈdʒoʊkɪŋ/ A2	verb - 开玩笑 (kāi wánxiào)
genuinely /ˈdʒenjuɪnli/ B1	adverb - 真诚地 (zhēnchéng de)
cool /kuːl/ A2	adjective - 酷 (kù)
afford /əˈfɔːrd/ A2	verb - 负担得起 (fùdān dé qǐ)
shitty /ˈʃɪti/ C1	adjective - 糟糕的 (zāogāo de)
lessons /ˈlesənz/ A2	noun - 课程 (kèchéng)
saving /ˈseɪvɪŋ/ A2	verb - 储蓄 (chǔxū)
tutor /ˈtuːtər/ B1	noun - 辅导员 (fǔdǎoyuán)
incredible /ɪnˈkredəbl/ B2	adjective - 难以置信的 (nányǐ zhìxìn de)
spirit /ˈspɪrɪt/ B1	noun - 精神 (jīngshén)
elephant /ˈelɪfənt/ A2	noun - 大象 (dàxiàng)
sadistic /səˈdɪstɪk/ C1	adjective - 施虐的 (shījué de)
aspirations /ˌæspəˈreɪʃənz/ B2	noun - 愿望 (yuànwàng)

重点语法结构

• I actually decided to start learning myself when I was twelve.

  ➔ 一般过去时 + 动词不定式（表示目的）

  ➔ 动词 "decided" 用**一般过去时**表示已完成的决定，"to start" 为**动词不定式**，表明目的。

• If I saved my money, I could have bought a PS2 by now.

  ➔ 第三条件句（过去‑现在混合）

  ➔ "If I saved"在条件句中使用**一般过去时**，而"could have bought"是**情态动词 + 完成式不定式**，表示一个会影响现在的虚拟结果。

• She was a sadistic witch passing the time until her lonely death.

  ➔ 现在分词短语

  ➔ "passing" 是**现在分词**，用于补充说明她在被描述为“sadistic witch”时正在做的事。

• I never considered that she'd come to me.

  ➔ 一般过去时 + 报告从句（过去视角的将来）

  ➔ "never considered"使用**一般过去时**，而"she'd come"是"she would come"的缩写，表示**过去视角的将来**。

• I was terrified of her.

  ➔ 一般过去时的 "be" 动词 + 形容词

  ➔ "was"是"be"动词的**一般过去时**，"terrified"是描述主语情感的**形容词**。

• I hid under the bed.

  ➔ 动词 "hide" 的一般过去时

  ➔ "hid"是动词"hide"的**一般过去时**形式，表示过去已完成的动作。

• I think I'm finally over it and I'm actually considering getting lessons again.

  ➔ 一般现在时 + 现在进行时 + 动词不定式（目的）

  ➔ "I think"是**一般现在时**，"I'm finally over it"是**现在进行时**描述当前状态，"considering getting"在"consider"后使用**动名词**（gerund）谈论将来的行动。

• I'll tell my mum!

  ➔ 一般将来时（will）

  ➔ "I'll"是"I will"的缩写，属于**一般将来时**，用于表达说话时做出的决定。