– 英语/中文 双语歌词

歌词与翻译

[中文]

哦，就是这里。哦，乔伊，你为什么

签名？

的儿子[笑声]

>> 我没有那样做。谁会这么做

？

>>

>> 好吧，也许问问这个人。 [笑声]

>> 你离开我的商店。

>> 什么？他做了什么？

>> 他和我的妻子出去了，

>> 乔伊。

我嘿，我没有和你老婆出去。

好的。我和她出去了。

>> 那是我的妻子。

出去。

>> 我们该走了。

>> 乔伊要举办派对，但他

不会邀请我们。是的，他每年都会这样做

。这就是为什么他要派你

去看戏。这就是为什么他送我们去

那家中世纪餐厅和

纽扣工厂以及那可怕的

博物馆之旅。

>> 不，是我安排的。

>> 嘿，你们，我要睡觉了。玩得开心。

>> [笑声]

>> 我们知道你的派对，乔伊。

>> 什么派对？

>> 游戏结束。脱掉你的长袍。

>> 非常。我的意思是，

>> 不。

>> 听着，呃，你们认为我和珍妮有

机会吗？

>> 好吧，亲爱的，我们以前经历过

。

>> 是的。不要这样对自己。她

明确表示这不会

发生。

>> 好吧，那么好吧。我想我

不应该对

我刚刚吻了她这一事实感到太兴奋。

>> 看吧，没错。真的吗？

>> 是的。好吧，我们拭目以待。

>> 你吻了她？

>> 哦，我们亲吻得真好。

>> 所以，你吻了她。那么，之后

发生了什么？

>> 我来这里是为了告诉你们。

>> 所以，她只是在那儿等

你。

那么，其他人都在享受

最好的时光吗？嘘，乔伊睡着了。

他昏倒后，我们在他周围放了沙子

给他保暖。

嗯，我想这对幸福的夫妇还没有

起床。你们昨晚

晚上听到他们的声音了吗？

>> 哦，是的。我不知道它们是什么

正在做，但有一次，海龟

实际上来到了房子里。

>> 早上好。

>> 嘿。大家睡得怎么样？

>> 哦，太棒了。

>> 就像 lo。 [笑声]我们也是。

>> 我们要去散步。

早上好。

>> 顺便说一句，乳房不错。 [笑声]

[笑声]

>> 典型的纽约公寓。两个

女孩正在闲逛。

[笑声]

>> 嗨。你好吗，凯利？

>> 我做得很好。天哪，蒂芙尼，你

闻起来真香。

>> [笑声]

>> 这是我的新香水。为什么不

走近一点，真正欣赏

它呢？

>> 哦，你知道，乔伊，你病了。

>> 这太恶心了。

>> 等等，等等，等等。英俊的男人即将进入

。

>> 很好。好吧，好吧。但我必须说，

从技术上来说，我什至没有做任何

错误。

>> 什么？你你没有做错什么。

我我说过我在技术上没有。

好的。好吧，让我们先把事实

放在一边，你不小心捡到了我

祖母的戒指，并且你不小心

向瑞秋求婚了。

>> 我可以让你停下来

秒吗？当人们这样做时，我并不

真正知道这意味着什么。

[笑声]

>> 你说？

>> 我什至可以理解你

无法告诉Rachel，但为什么你不能

告诉我？啊？你有一整天的时间，但

你却没有。

>> 我知道。我应该有。

>> 对不起。

[笑声]

>> 没有正确使用它。乔，

[笑声]

>> 我要走了。

>> 不，来吧。看，罗斯。我们必须克服这个

。

>> 把包给我。

>> 不。听着，我不知道还能做什么

。我说对不起。现在，你应该

对我尖叫或者咒骂我或者打

我。

>> 我不会打你。

>> 为什么不呢？你会感觉好多了。我会感觉

好一些。你知道你想这么做。我可以

从你的眼睛里看到它。 [笑声]

>> 不，我不。

>> 一点点。

>> 没有。

>> 一点点。

>> 没有。

>> 再多一点。

>> 不，打我。

>> 给我后背。

>> 打我吧，乔伊。把背给我。

>> 打我，乔。我不是在开玩笑。打我。

打我吧。打我。打我。打我。

>> [笑声]

[欢呼]

>> 你躲过了。

>> 对不起。这是一种条件反射。

>> 天啊。这这真的很伤人。

>> 我无法控制。当拳头打到

你的脸时，你会躲开。看。

>> 你怎么了？你

应该躲开。你为什么不躲起来？

为什么我们不在

去医院的路上谈论这件事？

>> 好。好的。是的。也许当我们

在那里时，他们可以检查你的反应。

>> 我弄断了拇指。你的拇指？

>> 这很奇怪。你确定你的

出拳方式正确吗？握紧拳头。

也许稍后。

罗斯，我感觉很糟糕。

>> 你知道吗？你可以走了。我只有

来填写一些表格。

你呃你想让我帮你

吗？

>> 为什么我的畸形爪子看起来

有问题？

>> 名字？

[笑声]

不，我认识罗斯，但是

是做什么用的？你知道，就像 Russell

或 Rostifer。

[笑声]

那是罗斯。

很漂亮。

>> 好的。出生日期。

>> 你知道我的生日吗？

>> 当然。

>> 五月

10 月 18 日。

>> 职业？恐龙。

>> 其实我是个苍白的人。

恐龙很好。 [笑声]

绘图不是。

来吧。我睡过头了。我应该在半小时前

到达片场。我必须

离开这里。

>> 哦，什么？乔伊，你不能就这样走。

你很臭。

>> 看，我没有，我

还没来得及洗澡就睡着了。现在我没有

时间。他们距离我们只有 10 个街区。如果我

跑，我就能成功。

>> 是的，跑 10 个街区。这将有助于消除

的气味。

>> 嘿，慢点。不，继续前进。

>> 嘿。嘿。

>> 嘿。

>> 这是来自健康呼声

部门。你化妆了吗？

是的，我是。从今天起，我正式成为

Joey Tribani，演员/模特。

谢谢。

>> 这太有趣了，因为我认为你

看起来更像乔伊·特里巴尼 (Joey Tribani) 男人/女人。

>> 你当模特是为了什么？

>> 嗯，你知道

城市义诊的海报吗？

>> 哦，哇。那么，您会成为

那些健康健康的人之一吗？

>> 你知道，那个患有哮喘的家伙真的很可爱。

>> 你知道你会成为哪一类人吗

？不，不，但我听说莱姆病已

开放，所以你知道。

>> 祝你好运，伙计。我希望你能明白。

谢谢。

>> 那是一条毯子吗？摄像机？哦我的

上帝。

>> 我不敢相信你以为你

会录下我们在第一次约会的

做爱的视频。

[笑声]

乔伊就是她刚才说的。嗯，

天啊。天哪，你看。你实际上

要去[笑声]

>>这里发生了什么？

>> 钱德勒在隔壁房间。

你是什么病？

[笑声]

>> 我是乔伊。

我很恶心。

>> 我制作低成本成人电影。

[音乐] 你们答应过要更加小心

。我的意思是，来吧。好乔伊

的名字在这里被拖入泥潭

。

>> 非常抱歉。

>> 是的。

>> 好吧，我正在向大家介绍你。

这是解释

内衣和摄像机

不会让我看起来像头猪的唯一方法。我不知道

。好的。一定有

更好的解释。您可以告诉他们

您必须为

您的成人电影课程制作一部成人电影。

[笑声]

>> 是的，我喜欢这样。但不，不。

这如何解释为什么 Rachel 在你家发现了我的

内衣？

>> 我不知道。好吧，准备好来吧

出柜。

[笑声]

>> [笑声]

>> 看吧，乔，这就是为什么你的父母告诉

你不要跳到床上。

[笑声]

>> 嘿。嘿。

>> 哦，它坏了吗？

>> 不。我要戴这东西

几周。

>> 你告诉医生你做了

在床上跳来跳去吗？

>> 不。整个故事都已经解决了，但是

然后呃钱德勒出卖了我。

>> 好吧，对不起，乔。我不认为

医生会买这个。刚刚

从插座中掉下来。

>> 大家好。

>> 嘿。

>> 哦，包里有什么？

>>哦。呃，好吧，你知道艾玛是如何开始

爬行的吗？我意识到这个地方对婴儿来说

非常不安全。所以，我去了

商店，买了一些东西来给公寓

提供证明。

>> 天啊。婴儿打样。为什么现在

如此重要？你知道，当我还是一个

的孩子时，我的感觉就像是，“哎呀，乔伊

从楼梯上摔下来了。”或者，“呃，哎呀，乔伊

又触电了。

>> [笑声]

>> 无论如何，嗯，你要找一个

勤杂工来安装这个东西吗？

>> 不，我只是要自己做。

[笑声]

>> 你会这样做吗？

>> 是的。为什么？你 don't think a woman can

do this?

>> Well, women can't. You can't.

>> Monica, will you please tell Joey that

he is a pig?

>> You're a pig and you can't do this.

>> What? What? Come on. I found the

hardware store all by myself.

>> The hardware store is right down the

街。

...

...

街有一家五金店。

>> 嗨，你决定打电话给

...

>> 是的，我不知道我在开玩笑。

...

>> 你已经准备好了。噢，等等。

...

呃，你忘了你的游戏了。

谢谢。

>> [音乐]

[笑声]

>> Ra。

[笑声]

Rachel，[笑声]

[笑声]

所以我不能做任何我喜欢的事情。

我做到了。我不能。

好的。

我最好带上我能带的所有东西。

[笑声]

谁知道我什么时候才能再次进入

这里，嗯？

>> 罗斯，听着。你想喝点什么

因为我要去那里。

>> 呃，是的。我要一杯咖啡。谢谢，

伙计。当然。咖啡？

>> 是的。

>> 咖啡？因为我要去那里。

>> 哦，不。谢谢。 [笑声]

>> 你们需要什么吗？因为我要

前往那里。

我想要一杯冰水。

>> 你明白了。 [笑声]

>> 乔伊，你在做什么？

>> 只是保持友好。

>> 乔伊，亲爱的，我认为你不应该

回到那里。

>> 不，不，没关系。对吧，冈瑟？

>> 别对我眨眼。

>> 穿上围裙。 [笑声]

>> 好的。我没有看到您要求任何其他

付费顾客穿上围裙。

[笑声]

>> Joey，你在这里工作吗？

>> 号

>> 服务员。

>> 是的。

>> 乔伊，发生了什么事？你为什么不

告诉我们你在这里工作？

>> 好吧，

这有点尴尬，你知道吗？我

的意思是，我是一名演员。现在我是一名服务员

，应该朝另一个方向走。

你的围裙也是。你穿它就像

斗篷一样。

>> 我的意思是，工作很轻松，而且钱

也不错，你知道，而且我想如果我

无论如何都在这里闲逛，我也可能

得到报酬，对吗？只是

为你们服务感觉有点奇怪，你

知道吗？

>> 乔伊，加油。我做到了，而且很好。

>> 是啊，为什么会很奇怪呢？嘿，乔伊。

呃，我可以喝点咖啡吗？

>> 好吧，我想这似乎

并不奇怪。

>> 说真的，我之前就问过你了。你

还没有明白。

>> 现在又奇怪了。

>> 我认为你在这里工作很棒。

你会赚很多钱。

这是您的第一个提示。

不要吃黄雪。 [笑声]

215咖啡馆。

>> 你在做什么？

>> 哦，这是一个呃，这是婴儿欢迎回家的标志

。

>> 多么甜蜜。哦，那是宝宝吗？

>> 不，我坐在油漆里。

嘿，你和 Rachel 谈过了吗​​？

>> 不。呃，我不会。

>> 什么？

>> 为什么不呢？因为她会

射杀我。你们看到了

发生在 Gunther 身上的事情。这看起来

并不有趣。

>> 您如何将自己与 Gunther 进行比较？

我的意思是，当然，他以更

明显的方式性感。 [笑声]但是

你和她有关系。你们

昨晚睡在一起了。

>> 是的。而她还想去。

很清楚她在哪里。是的，我知道

你的意思。我的意思是，有时。

>> 呃，乔。

>> 该死的。

>> 嘿。

>> 嘿。怎么样了？你结识了

个新朋友吗？

>> 是的。是的。我遇见了这个女人。

>> 嘿，妈妈。哇哦。她是什么样的人？

>> 呃，好吧，她床上功夫真好。

>> 我以为你会先尝试成为朋友

。

>> 好吧，看。嘿，都是你的错。

>> 什么？为什么？

>> 因为你没有给我建议。不，

你给了我搭讪热线。当我

告诉她我想，你知道，建立一个

基金会并首先成为朋友时，我

突然之间，

对她的

和室友变得不可抗拒，这并不是我自己的错。

[笑声]

>> 亲密程度怎么样？

>> 亲密？我们三个人为

大声哭泣。

>> 刚刚发生了什么？

>> 我非常非常抱歉。我真的打算这么做

。但后来我站在那儿

，一只手拿着 327 美元，另一只手拿着 238 美元

。我在想，“哇，

我已经很久没有收到

327 加 238 美元了。”

>> 乔伊，我们达成了协议，这就是原因

你来了。我必须解雇你。

>> 我必须付房租。

你看，

这个怎么样？你别解雇我。

相反，我留在这里。我赢得了他们的信任

，然后他们就会开始倾听

我所说的关于

你的所有好话。

>> 你一直在说的一些事情。

>> 好吧，还没有。他们真的很讨厌你

，而我想融入其中。

>> 特工刚刚为我找到了一份出演

新阿尔普奇诺电影的工作。

>> 我喜欢这个部分。

>> 你能相信吗？阿尔·帕西诺.这个

家伙是我成为一名演员的原因。我

出了问题。 P. 你不正常。

整个法庭都乱了。

>> [笑声]

>> 说真的，什么？那是什么部分？

>> 正当我以为我已经出去时，他们却把

我拉了回来。[笑声]来吧。

说真的，乔伊，这个角色是什么？呃，

>> 你是你是他的什么？ [笑声]

>> 我是他的替身。好的。

[笑声] 我扮演阿尔·普契尼的屁股。

好的。他去洗澡了

然后我就是他的屁股了。 [笑声]

>> 天哪。

>> 加油，你们。这是一部真实的电影

，阿尔普奇诺也在其中。那很大。

>> 哦，不。太棒了。是你

知道，这是你应得的。经过

年的奋斗，您终于

能够闯入[笑声]

听着，我只是想感谢您

这个绝佳的机会。

>> 跟我一起失去绳子

。那行得通，

>> 对吧？好的。丢了袍子。

>> 好的。而长袍也丢了。

>> 好的，大家。我想一次性获得

这个。让我们滚动它。

水正在工作。

还有行动。

然后剪切。嘿，屁股家伙。

你到底在做什么？

[笑声]

>> 我在吃东西。

>> 不，那是紧握的。

嗯，在我看来，这家伙在这里很不高兴

，你知道吗？我的意思是，他的妻子死了，

他的兄弟失踪了。我觉得他的屁股

在这里会生气。

我认为他的屁股想在午餐前拍摄

。 [笑声] 再次

，滚动。水工作。

以及行动。

然后剪切。那是什么？

我本来是为了安静的绝望，

>> 但如果你非要问的话。

嘿。

>> 嘿。

>> 嘿。等一下。你不是

在新的 Alpuccino

电影中扮演屁股的人吗？

[笑声]

>> 不。

>> 没有。发生什么事了，大佬？

>> 大佬？

>> 这感觉就像是一个大人物的时刻。

>> 我被解雇了。

>> 哦，

>> 是的。他们说我对

表现得太多了。

>> 嘿 Ra，你的闪亮效果怎么样？

>> 哦，丹尼刚刚进了 217 号房间。

>> 哦，下一部分是最好的，

死去的女士在浴缸里。

>> 哦，不，不，不，不，不，不，不，不。来吧

。你会毁掉它的。

>> 好吧，我用代码说话。还记得

当孩子在

走廊看到那两个空白吗？

>> 太酷了。

>> 全空白和无空白使空白成为

空白空白。

>> [笑声]

>> 哦，不，不，不。最后杰克几乎

用那张空白杀死了他们所有人，但

在最后一秒他们逃脱了。

>> 乔伊，我不敢相信你竟然这么做了。

>> 我不敢相信她破解了你的密码。

>> 好的。好的。洛瑞向乔

求婚，但她拒绝了，尽管她仍然

爱着他。然后他最终

与艾米结婚。

嘿，我的是偶然的。

好吧。锅炉爆炸，

摧毁了酒店并杀死了父亲。

>> 贝丝去世。

[欢呼]

>> 贝丝 [笑声]

贝丝去世。

这是真的吗？如果我继续读下去，贝丝

会死吗？

>> 不。贝丝没有死。她没有死。

她是吗，雷切尔？

>> 什么？

>> 乔伊问你是否刚刚毁了

他喜欢的第一本不是

杰克·尼科尔森主演的书。

>> 乔，我对我们昨晚可以做的

有一个奇怪的想法。

你说我们玩一点呃足球球可以赚

钱怎么样？

>> 你疯了吗？自从我97赛季受伤以来，你还没有击败过我

一次。

如果你把你的

钱给我就更容易了。

>> 是的，会的。

你对 50 美元有何看法？

>> 好的，开始吧。

>> 是的，

>> 我又赢了。这相当于你

欠我 500 美元。呜呼。

500 美元。那是大量的电力。

是的。

我得买一些食物。 [笑声]

>> 好的。给我一个赢回我的钱

的机会。好的。猝死。一球。

1,000 美元。

>> 你认真的吗？

>> 哦，是的。

>> 好的。准备好欠我的吧。

>> 好的。好的。开始了。准备好？

[音乐]

>> [笑声]

[音乐]

>> 不，不，不，不，不，

>> 不，不。一个人可以打败我。

>> 看，这就是为什么只有小假

男人才应该踢。

>> [笑声]

>> 我们可以玩一个新游戏。一个新游戏。这

很有趣。

>> 那么，它叫什么？

>> 杯子。

>> 我不会打杯赛。

>> 我来教你。快点。快点。这

真的很简单。真的，真的很有趣。

>> 好吧。

>> 好的。干得好。

>> 我有两个皇后。你有什么？

>> 一个二和一个五。

>> 您赢得 50 美元。 [笑声]

>> 真的吗？

>> 哦，是的。好吧，我们再玩一次。准备好？

你有什么？

>> 四加九。

>> 你在开玩笑吧？

[笑声]

>> 不，为什么？

>> 嗯，已经满了。

>> 你赢了。哦，你有什么？好吧，

并不重要。没有什么比三

和六更好的了。

我的朋友，那是 decup。

>> 好的。现在，到目前为止你赢了多少钱？

呃，

>> 哇。 700.

>> 不完全是 700。是的。

加倍。

>> 是的。看，在杯子里，一旦你拿到 700 美元，

你就必须加倍。 [笑声]

嘿，规则不是我制定的。

好的。所以，现在在您收到

双倍奖金后，您将获得一张卡。

现在，一张卡的价值可能是 100 美元，

这将使您的总价值达到 1,500 美元。不，

不，不要太兴奋，因为除非您得到

不会发生。

不可能，否则

出了什么问题？

>> 罗斯和我正在帮助女孩们收拾行李。

休息了一下。我在警察局输给了

他 1,500 美元。 [笑声]

什么？你是怎么输给警察的？和你输掉的

一样。我从国王

和王后开始。嘭。罗斯得到了二分和

三分。 [笑声] 然后我得到了一张 J 和

一张 K。繁荣。罗斯，这是一个四和一个

五。也许罗斯获得了

杯卡、D杯、

下注奖金。与此同时，我什至没有得到

半杯。没有什么。 [笑声]

>> 哦，伙计。

>> 钱德勒在哪里？

>> 呃，他做不到。他说他必须

回到他的呃工作并做呃哇。

[笑声]

>> 乔伊。

乔伊。特里巴尼。

[笑声]

>> 乔伊，我能看到你。好的。你把

藏在外套后面。

关闭

[笑声]

一。

>> 嗯，钱德勒在吗？

>> 不。嗯，他在

咖啡馆遇到了一些女孩。

>> 是的。姜什么的？

>> 不。

>> 不。不。呃，你确定这不是

听起来像生姜的东西吗？就像

呃姜？

不，是姜。我记得因为

当他告诉我时我说的是电影明星。

>> 天啊，这就是我躲着

的那个女孩。当她发现他是我的

室友时，她会告诉他我

做了什么。

>> 那么，你做了什么？

>>哦。哦。哦，不。不。我不能

我不能告诉你。这就像我一生中

最可怕、最可怕的事情。

做过的

>> 你知道吗？别告诉我们。我们只需

等到训练师回家，因为

这样会更有趣。

>> 好吧。

好吧，那已经是四年前的事了。好吧，

静儿和我出去了几次

，然后这个周末我们去了

她爸爸的小屋。只有我、她和她的

烦人的小狗 Pepper。好吧，那个

晚上，我做了这顿非常浪漫的

晚餐。

>> 你让她食物中毒。

>> 我希望[笑声]

晚餐后，我、她和Pepper都

在火炉前睡着了。好吧，

我半夜醒来，

我看到火正在熄灭。所以，我

拿起一根木头并把它扔了上去。

或者至少我认为是日志。

>> 天哪，你把胡椒粉放在火上。

>> 我希望。

[笑声]

瞧，我想我

应该告诉你关于金杰的另一件事是

她有一条呃

假腿。

>> [笑声]

>> 天哪，

>> 乔伊。当你把

她的腿扔进火里之后你做了什么？

>> 我跑了。

>> 真的吗？钱包？

>> 这不是钱包。这是一个单肩包。

>> 看起来像女人的钱包。

>> 不，乔伊。听着，相信我。我告诉

所有男士都在

春季目录中携带它们。好的。

>> 看，看。男人背着包。

>> 看到了吗？看。妇女背着包。

>> 但奇怪的是，女人的钱包

对我来说这么好。一个男人。

>> 没错。男女通用的。

>> 也许你需要性。我

天前发生过性行为。

哦不，乔伊。你和我做爱。

>> 好吧，我不会对此说不。

[笑声]

>> 嘿。嘿。

>> 哇，你看起来就像你的儿子，

Tribani 女士。

>> 你指的是什么？我男人的包。

[笑声]

起初，我觉得它只是看起来不错，

但它也很实用。一探究竟。

它有多个隔层，可存放您所有的

物品。你的钱包、你的钥匙、你的

地址簿、你的化妆品。

[笑声]

>> Joey，你拿着包做什么？

你的试镜要到明天才开始。

>> 是的，但是现在是三明治时间。

>> 乔伊，你知道，

那个包上有芥末，你无法退货。

>> 我为什么要退货？我喜欢这个

包。

>> 好的。那么你欠我 350 美元。

好的。你拿 Vasa 卡还是 Mooster 卡，

>> Joey？

>> 好吧，放松。听着，我会用表演工作的钱付给你

，我

肯定会感谢你。

>> 这是什么部分？玛梅阿姨。 [笑声]

>> 别听他们的。我认为这很性感。

>> 你和我都很性感。

>> 嘿，我要去试镜了。我

看起来怎么样？

我觉得你看起来很棒，乔伊。那个包

将为您提供那部分。

>> 和一个男人约会。 [笑声]

>> 你知道吗？随心所欲地玩耍。

这是一个很棒的包，好吗？它变得越来越方便

。

现在，仅仅因为您不理解

某件事并不意味着它是错误的。全部

对吗？所以，从现在开始，你们

将不得不习惯

乔伊带着包的事实。

>> 准备好了吗，乔伊？

[清喉咙] 好吧，你一定是新来的

。也许我们能得到一张桌子。我请你

喝一杯。

>> 抱歉。你能在不带钱包的情况下尝试一下

吗？

[笑声]

>> 是的，当然。

[哼哼]

[清喉咙]

>> 好吧，你一定是新来的。也许我们

坐下来。对不起。我能问你一件事吗？

>> 当然。什么？

>> 好吧，首先，它不是钱包。

好的。任何时候。我的意思是，如果您

认为这是一款女士包，那么事实并非如此。

这是一款男士包。 [笑声]

好的。然后走吧。

我让我给你看一下目录。

看。看？啊？这是最新的事了。

每个人都有一个。男人、女人、

孩子，每个人都带着他们。嗯，

你们卖这些包吗？

>> 哦，不，不，不，不，不。这些婴儿

自我推销。

好的。谢谢。那很棒。

>> 是的，但我什么也没读。

>> 我想我们已经看够了。

>> 好的。好的。我会看到它。我们明白了。

我们明白了。

>> 是的。那么，您要回电

吗？

>> 不。

>> 但你在说什么？莎拉

很棒。

>> 哦，真的吗？您想知道您的

好朋友做了什么吗？

>> 我们出去吃晚饭了。好的。我们

相处得很融洽，度过了一段非常愉快的

时光。我觉得她真的

很酷。然后不知从何而来。

[音乐]

[笑声]

[音乐]

就是这样。这就是为什么你不会再和她

出去。所以，她吃了一些

薯条。有什么大不了的。

>> 嘿。嘿，看。这不是几颗

薯条的问题。这是关于薯条

代表什么。

>> 什么？

>> 所有食物。

>> 好吧，对不起。我我我不敢相信

我给你安排了这样一个怪物。

>> 嘿，嘿，嘿，嘿，嘿。 [笑声]

看，我带一个女孩出去，她可以点

任何她想要的东西。越多越好。

好的。只是不要点花园

沙拉然后吃我的食物。

这是失去一些手指的好方法。

哦，感谢上帝你在这里。听

这个。

>> 所以乔伊和我的朋友昨晚

出去了。他们正在吃晚饭，她

伸手拿了一些他的

薯条。

>> 哦，不。

>> 什么？

你知道车牌

的事情吗？

>> 哦，是的。是的。不，乔伊不分享

食物。我的意思是，就在上周，我们

正在吃早餐，他的盘子里有

几颗葡萄。

>> 你不让她吃葡萄？

>> 哦，不。不是我，艾玛。

乔伊不分享食物。

[笑声]

>> 好吧，我仍然认为这是一个愚蠢的

不再给别人打电话的理由。你

正在给她打电话。好的。如果您

需要的话，那么只需在餐桌上额外准备一盘

薯条即可。

我喜欢这样。共享缓冲区。是的。

是的。我会额外点一些薯条，也许

一盘洋葱圈。是的。是的。还有

一杯虾鸡尾酒。

>> 但我我不能呆太久。我必须

早起参加明天

的商业试镜，而且我必须看起来不错。

应该扮演一个 19 岁的人。

[笑声]

>> 什么？那么，当你说早起时，

是指 1986 年吗？

>> 你们不觉得我看起来像 19 岁吗？

>> [笑声]

>> 哦，19。我们以为你说的是​​ 90。

[笑声]

>> 好吧，大家走吧。我们走吧。

>> 好的。

[笑声]

[笑声]

>> SUP。 [笑声]

怎么了，伙计？ [笑声]

>> 你想要什么就拿什么。只是请

不要伤害我。

>> 这就像玩一个小 PlayStation，

吧？

太棒了。 [笑声]

PlayStation

太糟糕了。 [笑声]

与 PlayStation 底槽一起享用。

[笑声]

嗯？

来吧。我是19岁还是什么？ [笑声]

>> 是的。按照从 1 到 10 的等级，10 是

一个人看起来最愚蠢的，你

绝对是 19。

>> 来吧，伙计。真的吗？几岁了？

>> 年轻。你是个男孩子。好的。现在，去

换衣服吧，因为大家都准备好了。

请哦，请保留我的内衣。

>> 哦，谢谢。

>> 好吧，[笑声]

现在我可以通过 19 了，对吗？

>> 是的，您可以通过 19。

>> 真的吗？

>> 是的。严重地？严重地？严重地？

不，好的。你可以扮演你自己的年龄，

，即 31 岁。

[笑声]

我 30 岁。

>> 乔伊，你不是。你 31 岁了。

>> 哦糟糕。

嘿。嘿。

那么，发生了什么？森林让你

感到厌烦吗？

>> 不。你知道我们总是说我们

需要一个地方来存放邮件吗？

[笑声]

>> 是的。

>> 好吧，我开始构建一个，但后来我

决定将其进行下一步。

>> 你要建邮局？

>> 不，带有邮件的娱乐单元

内置小房间。这是一天的

工作，Max。

>> 好的。

我的话，这些很舒服。

哦，是的，这是我的旧工作裤。

塞尔吉奥·瓦伦特。

[笑声]

>> 电锯有点脱离了我

。 [笑声]

哦，抱歉。我得到你了吗？

>> 不，你没明白我的意思。这是

电钻。你抓住我，你就杀了我。

[笑声]

>> 冷静下来。您是否想要这个单位？

>> 我不想要这个单位。

>> 哦，你应该提前告诉我这一点。

不是读心者。 [笑声]

>> 嘿，我们的啤酒没了。好的，我要去

去莫妮卡。

>> 很好。

你看到乔伊了吗？

>> 怎么了？

>> 哦，就这个。

>> 你知道吗？这真的是我的错，

因为沙发是我们通常

保存清漆的地方。

>> 嘿，有人想递给我一张

这些图块吗？

>> 发生了什么事？

>> 他正在重新铺我的地板。

你这个脏兮兮的男孩，

>> 站起来。啊，

>> 现在你开始了。你将完成

。

>> 他先开始我的。

>> 建造单位，灰姑娘。放下

瓷砖，灰姑娘。

[笑声]

>> 好的，三点。一，二。我们为什么不

继续两个呢？

>> 为什么是两个？因为它更快。哟，如果没有这两个谈话，我

可以数到三到四

次。全部

都对。但在未来，

>> 好吧，重物不会变得更轻。

>> 好的。

>> 一，二。

>> 所以，我们要两个。

>> 好吧。

[笑声]

>> 好吧，干得好，乔。

[笑声]

>> 哇。

很大。

是的。是的。太大了，实际上

让我们的门看起来更小。

也许我的统治者是错的。

>> 也许所有的统治者都是错的。

看，

>> 没那么糟糕。所以呢？它挡住了你的门的

一点，我的门的一点

。

>> 是的。你知道吗？我有一个更好的

主意。怎么样，它不阻止我的任何一个吗？

门还有很多你的门？

[笑声]

听着，在我忘记之前，那面

仍然是湿的。

>> 你知道吗？

我打赌我能适应那里。

我得到五块钱，你可以

>> 拿出你的支票簿，先生。

>> 好吧，我想我有现金。

[笑声]

>> 你是狗，伙计。

>> 我完全适合。

>> 是的，你抓住了我。我已经五大了。

>> [笑声]

>> 就这样。

>> 谢谢。查庆.

>> 哦，好吧，你好，林肯先生。 [笑声]

下次祝你好运，伙计。

饮料由我来。

>> 我坐在什么上面？

>> 世界之巅。海湾码头。

[笑声]

我出去了。

哦，翅膀。哦，

>> 好吧。他们是谁？

>> 他们是谁？

>> 不是我的。

>> 嗯，它们是乔伊的。它们一定是

Joey 的。

[笑声]

>> 是的，它们是我的。

>> 看到了吗？乔伊的。他们是乔伊。乔伊的。

>> 他们为什么在这里？

>> 我不知道。呃，

我是乔伊。

是的，我很恶心。我在别人家里脱掉我的

内裤。

>> 好吧，带他离开这里。你怎么了

？

>> 是的。

>> 是的。

>> 拿走它们。

>> 乔伊，你可以触摸它们。它们是你的

内衣。

>> 钱德勒，一句话。

就是这样。我厌倦了为你遮掩

两个。这必须停止。

>> 那么，她在吗？

>> 呃，不。她正在上舞蹈课。

>> 我可以看看她对我的

房间做了什么吗？

>> 是的，但是嘿，听着，不要翻看

她的东西。她真的很生气。

>> 天啊。这就像一个人从未

住在这里。

看，你得小心点。这个女孩

的东西很危险。它已经在传播

。

>> 是的。

>> 是的。这是

沙发上你漂亮的粉色枕头吗？ [笑声]

>> 不。

>> 那是你的小盒子吗

小到无法放入任何东西？

>> 没有。

>> 不，好的。这不好。你是一个

的人。好的。这是一个男人的地方。如果你

放手，你就会

坐在那里，手指浸湿，还有

的东西。

>> 好的。好的。你说得对。我

我会和她谈谈。

>> 是的。和她谈谈。做一个男人。我是一个男人。

>> 保护自己。 H [笑声]

>> 泰勒，来吧。我们必须使用新的

灰尘步枪。

>> 就在那里，甜心。 [笑声]

完全不同的情况。

[音乐]

[笑声]

>> 嘿，乔伊。

>> 嘿。呃，我可以和你谈谈吗？

这张照片里有一个孩子。你呃

你认识这个孩子吗？是不是像

亲戚之类的？ [笑声]

不，我只是觉得它很可爱。

>> 是的，这就是我所害怕的。好的。

呃，

听着，珍妮，我真的希望你在这里有

宾至如归的感觉。但一些新的

东西，就是太少女了。

>> 哦，比如什么？

>> 呃，喜欢这张可爱宝宝的照片。

我们不知道。

我们不能这样，

>> 乔伊。这是一个头晕。她是一位著名的

艺术家。

>> 看，我不认识这个宝贝。我不

知道她是否是著名艺术家，

你知道，我不想成为一个混蛋，

但是你在这里

改变了太多。

>> 对不起。我只是想尝试

让这个地方变得更好一点。

>> 是的，但内容太多了，你

知道吗？就像你在这里拿到了蜡烛和

那个愚蠢的施莫尔东西。在

上，您得到了一张

喷壶的照片。 [笑声]

>> 好吧，我只是想

>> 我确信这是一个著名的喷壶。

好的，但是来吧。浴室里的

热棒是怎么回事？

>> 这是卷发棒。

[笑声]

>> 好吧，那没关系。但好吧，以我的

毛巾为例。好的，我来到

浴室，但我的毛巾不在我存放的

楼层。

>> 它在某个钩子上，闻起来

不同。

>> 很干净。是的，但是感觉

不同。

>> 干燥了。 [笑声]

>> 好吧，我可以用

干净、干燥的毛巾制作我的作品。好吧，还有，您购买的这些芯片的

是什么？我不

>> 不，不，不，不。这是波普里。你应该

闻到它的味道。

[笑声]

>> 好吧，这就像碗里的夏天。

所以，真正巧妙的是，如果您先在

花茎，那么您的花束看起来

煎锅中煎

会更长久新鲜。 [笑声]

>> Joey，这是一个很棒的建议。

>> 莫妮卡，可以打扰一下

秒吗？我需要和拿着

花的女孩说话。 [笑声]

>> 好的。哦，乔伊，稍后过来，因为我

将教你如何用松果和一些

喂食器。 A

花生酱制作鸟

>> 我喜欢鸟。

>> [笑声]

>> 你怎么了？

>> 什么？

>> 您正在插花。 [笑声]

>> 你得到了你得到了死花。

你有一张你有一张婴儿的照片

穿得像花一样。 [笑声]

>> 这不是乔伊。

>> 嘿。嘿，看。我还是乔伊。好的。

鲜花。它们只是，你知道，

看起来很漂亮。这恰好是

一位著名艺术家为著名的

婴儿拍摄的照片。

[笑声]

>> 你正在变成一个女人。

不，我不是。你为什么这么说？

这太卑鄙了。

>> 现在我让你不高兴了。我说什么了？

>> 不是你说的。这就是你

所说的方式。 [笑声]

>> 天哪，

>> 我是个女人。

>> 我很高兴你回来了。我真的需要你的

帮助。

>> 哦，为什么？这是怎么回事？

>> 嗯，我要参加这部剧的试镜

，其中一些我必须说

法语，根据我的简历，

我的法语很流利。

>> 乔伊，你不应该在简历上撒谎。

是的，你真的不应该这样做。顺便问一下，

在开罗

长达一年的挖掘工作怎么样？

>> 没关系。

>> 我不知道你会说法语。

当然可以。

>> 说真的，停止吧。我要跳到

你身上。 [笑声]

>> 好吧。嗯，看起来[音乐]

很简单。你的第一行是我的名字是

克劳德。所以，跟着我重复一遍。

>> 犁犁。

[笑声]

>> 让我们再试一次。好的。

二。 [笑声]

>> 啊？这不完全是我所说的。

[笑声]

>> 真的吗？对我来说听起来完全一样。

>> 确实如此。真的吗？

>> 是的。

>> 好吧。好吧，让我们再试一次

。真的吗？听。

>> 明白了。

>> 梅尔

逃跑了。 [笑声]

>> 哦，笨蛋。

Jim Claude

>> 应该叫蓝色。

>> 不。

>> 好吧，也许我们把它分解一下。

>> 好的，我们一次尝试一个

个音节。好的，跟着我重复

。

>> M

>> 像素。

>> 太棒了。好的，快一点。 Jm

>> 佩洛。

>> [笑声]

>> 太难了。我不能教你。

>> 你在做什么？

>> 我在把你的头

穿墙之前必须走。

>> 不，别走。我需要你。我明天试镜

。

>> 我从一数到五。

>> 蓝色流感侧翼。

干得好。

>> 谢谢。

>> 嘿，乔伊。

>> 听着，昨天我对

感到非常难过，并且想了很多。

不，我太不耐烦了。那么，让我们再尝试一下

。

>> 哦，不。没关系。我不，我不需要

需要你的帮助。我自己也参与了

，我不得不说我做得非常好。

>> 真的吗？我可以听听一些吗？

>> 当然。当然。

>> 好的。 [清喉咙]

blah bl [笑声]

你不是

你不是你又是你

不会说法语。

>> 哦，我想我是。是的。我想

我肯定会得到这个角色。

>> 你怎么可能这么想？

>> 一方面。录音带上的人说

我做得很好。

只要你准备好了，乔伊，对吧？

[清喉咙]

[笑声]

>> 对不起。发生什么事了，伙计？来吧

。法语吧。

乔伊，你会说法语吗？

[笑声]

>> 你知道吗？我认为这次试镜已经

结束了。

呃，对不起。呃，我是雷杰·范格。

[笑声]

呃，我路过时听到这个

男人说

我的法国小镇雅诗兰黛的地方方言。

>> 你真的认为这个人在说

法语吗？

[笑声]

>> [笑声]

>> 干得好，小伙子。

>> [笑声]

[掌声]

>> 那是一些非常好的法语，但我

认为我们会和其他人一起

来扮演这个角色。

>> 哦，是的。好的。但我的法语

很好。

>> 太棒了。

>> 谢谢。

>> 是的。

>> 那是我的车。

>> 真的吗？哦。呃，但请再给我五

分钟。

[笑声]

>> 你在做什么？哦，好吧，我呃我

找到了钥匙，现在我只是

打磨她。

>> 但这是我的车。

>> 是的，但这是我的蜡。

>> 听着，我不常来这座城市

，我不知道你是否疯了，或者

这是某种街头剧院，但是

[笑声]

我可以拿钥匙吗？

>> 当然。这里。

>> 我会，呃，我会保留你的停车位。

>> 不会回来。

>> 为什么不呢？

>> 我住在北部。

>> 是的，我也是。

>> [笑声]

>> 所以，那个保时捷家伙把他的车开回来了。

[笑声]

>> 但你找到了他衣服的钥匙。

[笑声]

>> 不，我只是呃，我只是喜欢当每个人都认为我拥有一辆

的感觉。

保时捷时

>> 人们会认为你拥有一辆保时捷

，因为你穿着这些衣服。

>> 当然，

如果

你没有车的话，只有白痴才会穿这种东西。 [笑声]

确实如此。

>> 是的，但只有天才才会吞下

声波枪。

>> 哦，我去过那里。

>> 我要去开我的保时捷。

>> Joey，你知道你实际上没有

。

>> 来吧。你在干什么？我的角色是

。你会和她说话吗？

[笑声]

>> 嘿，嘿，嘿，小心我的门廊。

>> [笑声]

>> 嗨，乔伊。

>> 嘿，你好吗？

>> 他拥有

下最令人惊叹的保时捷。

>> 我很想给你看，但我刚刚给她盖好被子

。她正在睡觉。 [笑声]

>> 嘿，呃，你们两个女孩想去

喝一杯吗？

>> 乔伊·佩波尼。

>> 哦，还是太民族化了。我的经纪人认为我

应该有一个更中性的名字。

乔伊瑞士。

另外，你知道，我认为应该是

乔。你知道，乔伊让我听起来像是

我这么大，但其实我不是。

乔。乔.乔.斯大林。 [笑声]

斯大林。

斯大林。我知道这个名字吗？这听起来

很熟悉。好吧，它并没有给我敲响警钟

。

乔·斯大林。

[笑声]

>> 你知道这非常好。

>> 您可能想尝试约瑟夫。

[掌声]

>> 约瑟夫·斯大林。

>> 我想你会记住这一点。

>> 哦，是的。 [笑声]

再见约瑟夫·斯大林主演的小鸟球。

约瑟夫·斯大林是

屋顶上的小提琴手。

[笑声]

>> 你知道，已经有一个约瑟夫

斯大林了。 [笑声]

[欢呼]

>> 你在开玩笑。

显然，他就是这个屠杀了所有这些人的俄罗斯独裁者

。

[笑声]

你会认为你会知道这一点。

你知道，你会认为我会的。

>> 哦，乔伊。嗯，你看起来很熟悉。是，

呃，你在电视上吗？

>> 好吧，乔伊不喜欢谈论

，但他是 Days of Days 的明星之一

我们的生活。

[笑声]

>> 没错。这是正确的。你

不扮演女人吗？ [笑声]

>> 男人身体里的女人。 [笑声]

好多了。

所以，你知道，罗斯，这很有趣，因为你

我也看起来很熟悉。您

结过婚吗？ [笑声]

>> 嗯，是的。是的，我有。事实上，嗯，

就在前几天，克里斯和我正在

谈论我如何结婚以及

我如何拥有一个儿子。

>> 是的，小埃里克。

>> 没错。等等，不，本。

[笑声]

>> 那么，你刚刚结婚过一次

那么？ [笑声]

嗯，

>> 你结过两次婚。

>> 是的。

之后又

。

孩子，我饿了。

呃，嘿乔伊，你有没有在约会时

那么饿，以至于当女孩

去洗手间时，你吃了她的一些

食物？

[笑声]

你说服务员吃了我的蟹饼。

[笑声]

>> 是的。那么，呃，罗斯，那为什么

第一段婚姻会破裂呢？

>> 嗯。 [笑声]

是因为这个女人是异性恋还是

因为她是女同性恋？

>> 嘿，你自己写了很多

行，这是真的吗？

>> 呃，嗯，有点。是的。

>> 还记得上周 Alex 发生

事故吗？好吧，

脚本中的台词是：“如果我们不将这名妇女

送往医院，她就会死去。”但

我做到了。如果这位女士不去

医院，她就活不了了。

[笑声]

>> 哦，好吧。我明白你在那里做了什么。

>> 你难道不担心

作家读到这篇文章时

会生气吗？

>> 啊？从来没有真正想过

作家。这些脚本只是

来到我家。

但是你知道吗？这让我看起来

很好，这让节目看起来很好，

这让编剧看起来很好。那么，

他们怎么会对此生气呢？

[笑声]

构成了他的大部分台词。

的儿子是的，写这个混蛋。

>> 我从电梯井里摔下来。

这到底是什么意思？我从

电梯井里摔下来。

>> 呃，我不知道。我只是带来了

脚本。

他们杀不了我。我是 Franchesca 失散多年的

儿子。

>> 对了，

>> 琥珀色？

我想让你知道，我将永远

作为你的朋友和你的

兄弟在你身边。

>> 哦，德雷克。

>> 啊？医学奖去哪儿了？

>> 是的，我想有些人只是幸运。

[笑声]

>> Ramore 博士，向一楼

急救人员报到。全部

都对。好吧，那么呃

我们呃猜那就是我。

还有人需要乘电梯吗？

黄博士？黄医生？不，不。他们只是

说你。

>> 哦，好吧。

好吧。

>> 我爱你，德雷克。

>> 是的，无论如何。

[笑声]

>> 哦，不。

>> 德雷克，小心。 [尖叫]

他们刚刚杀了乔伊吗？

>> 不。

>> 现在，也许吧。

>> 好吧，好吧。你知道吗？我们

都坐在椅子上。

>> 没问题。

[笑声]

>> 我很舒服。

>> 我也是。

>> 事实上，我想我可能有点太

舒服了。

>> 好吧。

好的，看。我们还有19分钟，好吗？

钱德勒，我要你去换衣服，

好吗？然后当你回来时，乔伊

会去换衣服，他会腾出

椅子。好的？好的。

>> 好吧。美好的。我要去。当我

回来时，这是椅子城，而我就是坐在椅子上的

。

好吧。你会注意到我

穿戴整齐。我又注意到

你不是。所以用 aa

mil 的话说，从我的椅子上滚开。

>> 好的。

[欢呼]

[鼓掌]

>> 你在做什么？

>> 好吧，你说我必须给你

椅子。您没有看到任何有关

垫子的信息。

>> 坐垫是

椅子的精髓。

>> 没错。我正在吸取精华。

哦，他会回来的。哦，

房间里没有人。

>> 我的内衣在哪里？哇，哇，哇，

哇。快点。快点。什么？你拿走了

他的内裤？

>> 他夺走了我的本质。

>> 好的，稍等。

>> Joey，为什么你不能只穿你现在穿的

内衣？

>> 因为我现在没有穿任何内衣。

>> 好的。嗯，那你为什么今晚必须穿

内衣？

>> 这是一件租来的礼服。好的。我不会穿着另一个人的迷彩服去

突击队。

>> [掌声和欢呼]

>> 好吧，那么看起来某人的

必须归还某人的

垫子。

>> 好吧，你把我的衣服藏起来。我将

做与你完全相反的事情。

你是什么你要给我看

我的衣服吗？嘿嘿，对面

是对面。

他什么都没有。

>> [掌声]

>> 好吧，伙计。这里是。

你把我的衣服藏起来了，我穿着

你拥有的一切。

天哪，

[笑声]

这与拿走

某人的内衣并不相反。

看着我。我是钱德勒。我可以

再穿一些衣服吗？

>> [音乐]

[英语]

Oh, here it is. Oh, Joey, why did you

sign it? Son of a

[laughter]

>> I didn't do that. Who would have done

that?

>> Son of a

>> Okay, maybe ask this guy. [laughter]

>> You get out of MY SHOP.

>> WHAT? WHAT DID HE DO?

>> He went out with my wife,

>> Joey.

I Hey, I did not go out with your wife.

Okay. I I went out WITH HER.

>> THAT'S MY WIFE.

GET OUT.

>> We should go.

>> Joey's having a party and he wasn't

going to invite us. Yeah, he does it

every year. That's why he's sending you

to the play. That's why he sent us to

that medieval restaurant and to that

button factory and that that horrible

museum tour.

>> No, I arranged that.

>> Hey, you guys, I'm turning in. Have fun.

>> [laughter]

>> We know about your party, Joey.

>> What party?

>> The game's over. Take off your robe.

>> Very. I mean,

>> NO.

>> LISTEN, UH, you guys think I have a

chance with Janine?

>> Well, honey, we have been through this

before.

>> Yeah. Don't do this to yourself. She

made it pretty clear it is not going to

happen.

>> Well, all right then. I guess I

shouldn't get too excited about the fact

that I JUST KISSED HER.

>> SEE, THAT'S RIGHT. REALLY?

>> YEAH. WELL, we'll see.

>> You kissed her?

>> Oh, we kissed it up real nice.

>> So, you kissed her. So, what happened

after that?

>> I came over here to tell you guys.

>> So, she's just waiting over there for

you.

Well, is everybody else having just the

best time? Shh, Joey's asleep.

After he passed out, we put the sand

around him to keep him warm.

Well, I assume the uh happy couple isn't

up yet. Did you guys hear them last

night?

>> Oh, yeah. I don't know what they were

doing, but at one point, sea turtles

actually came up to the house.

>> Good morning.

>> Hey. How'd everybody sleep?

>> Oh, great.

>> Like a lo. [laughter] Us, too.

>> We're going for a walk.

Good morning.

>> Nice breast, by the way. [laughter]

[laughter]

>> Typical New York City apartment. Two

girls are just hanging out.

[laughter]

>> Hi. How are you doing, Kelly?

>> I'm doing just fine. God, Tiffany, you

smell so great.

>> [laughter]

>> It's my new perfume. Why don't you come

closer where you can really appreciate

it?

>> Oh, you know, Joey, you are sick.

>> This is disgusting.

>> Wait, wait, wait. The handsome MAN WAS

ABOUT TO ENTER.

>> FINE. OKAY, FINE. But I got to say,

technically, I didn't even do anything

wrong.

>> What? You You didn't do anything wrong.

I I said I didn't technically.

Okay. Well, let's put aside the fact

that you accidentally picked up my

grandmother's ring and you accidentally

proposed to Rachel.

>> Can I just stop you right there for a

second? When people do this, I don't

really know what that means.

[laughter]

>> You saying?

>> And I can even understand that you

couldn't tell Rachel, but why couldn't

you tell me? Huh? You had all day to and

you didn't.

>> I know. I should have.

>> I'm sorry.

[laughter]

>> Not using it right. Joe,

[laughter]

>> I'm going to go.

>> No. Come on. Look, Ross. We have to get

past this.

>> Give me the bag.

>> No. Look, I I don't know what else to

do. I said I'm sorry. Now, you should

scream at me or or or curse me or hit

me.

>> I'm not going to hit you.

>> Why not? You'll feel better. I'll feel

better. And you know you want to. I can

see it in your eyes. [laughter]

>> No, I don't.

>> A little bit.

>> No.

>> Little bit.

>> No.

>> Little bit more.

>> No. Hit me.

>> Give me the back.

>> Hit me, Joey. Give me the back.

>> Hit me, Joe. I'm not kidding. Hit me.

Hit me. Hit me. Hit me. Hit me.

>> [laughter]

[cheering]

>> YOU DUCKED.

>> I'M SORRY. IT WAS A REFLEX.

>> Oh my god. THIS THIS REALLY HURTS.

>> I COULDN'T help it. When a fist comes at

your face, you duck. Look.

>> What is THE MATTER WITH YOU? YOU WERE

SUPPOSED TO DUCK. WHY DIDN'T YOU DUCK?

WHY DON'T WE TALK ABOUT this on the way

to the hospital?

>> Good. Good. Yeah. Maybe while we're

there, they can check your reflexes.

>> I broke my thumb. Your thumb?

>> That's weird. Are you sure you're

punching right? Make Make a fist.

Maybe later.

Ross, I feel terrible.

>> You know what? You can go. I just have

to fill out some forms.

You uh you want you want me to help you

with that?

>> Why does it look like I'm having trouble

with my misshapen claw?

>> Name?

[laughter]

No, I know Ross, but what's it short

for? You know, like like Russell

or or Rostifer.

[laughter]

That's Ross.

It's pretty.

>> Okay. Date of birth.

>> You know my birthday?

>> Sure.

>> Maymber

October 18th.

>> Occupation? Dinosaurs.

>> Actually, I'm a pale.

Dinosaurs is fine. [laughter]

The drawing is not.

Come on. I overslept. I was supposed to

be ON THE SET HALF AN HOUR AGO. I GOT TO

GET OUT OF HERE.

>> OH, WHAT? JOEY, you can't go like that.

You stink.

>> Look, I don't I fell asleep before I

could take a shower. Now I don't have

time. They're just 10 blocks away. If I

run, I can make it.

>> Yeah, run 10 blocks. That'll help THE

SMELL.

>> HEY, SLOW DOWN. NO, keep moving.

>> Hey. Hey.

>> Hey.

>> And this from the cry for health

department. Are you wearing makeup?

Yes, I am. As of today, I am officially

Joey Tribani, actor/mod.

Thank you.

>> That's so funny cuz I was thinking you

look more like Joey Tribani man/woman.

>> What were you modeling for?

>> Well, you know those posters for the

city free clinic?

>> Oh, wow. So, you're going to be one of

those healthy healthy healthy guys?

>> You know, the asthma guy's really cute.

>> Do you know which one you're going to

be? No, no, but I hear Lyme disease is

open, so you know.

>> Good luck, man. I hope you get it.

Thanks.

>> Is that a blanket? A video camera? Oh my

god.

>> I can't believe you thought that YOU

WERE GOING TO VIDEOTAPE US HAVING SEX on

the first date.

[laughter]

Joey is what she just said. Um,

oh my god. God, look. You are actually

going to [laughter]

>> What is going on here?

>> And with Chandler in the next room. What

are you What are you sick?

[laughter]

>> I'm Joey.

I'm disgusting.

>> I make low-budget adult films.

[music] You guys promised you'd be more

careful. I mean, come on. The good Joey

name is being dragged through the mud

here.

>> We're so sorry.

>> Yeah.

>> Well, I'm telling everyone about you.

That's the only way to explain the

underwear and the video camera that

doesn't make me look like a pig. I don't

know. All right. There's got to be a

better explanation. You could tell them

that you had to make an adult film for

your adult film class.

[laughter]

>> Yeah, I like that. But no, no. How does

that explain why Rachel found my

underwear at your place?

>> I don't know. Well, get ready to come

out of the non-gay closet.

[laughter]

>> [laughter]

>> See, Joe, that's why your parents told

you not to jump on the bed.

[laughter]

>> Hey. Hey.

>> Oh, is it broken?

>> No. I'm going to wear this thing for a

couple of weeks.

>> Did you tell the doctor you did it

jumping up and down on your bed?

>> No. Had a whole story worked out, but

then uh Chandler sold me out.

>> Well, I'm sorry, Joe. I didn't think the

doctor was going to buy that. just fell

out of the socket.

>> Hi guys.

>> Hey.

>> Oh, what's in the bag?

>> Oh. Uh, well, you know how Emma started

crawling? I realized that this place is

very unsafe for a baby. So, I went to

the store and I got some stuff to baby

proof the apartment.

>> Oh god. Baby proofing. Why is this such

a big deal now? You know, when I was a

kid, it was like, "Whoops, Joey fell

down the stairs." Or, "Uh, whoops, Joey

electrocuted himself again.

>> [laughter]

>> Anyway, um, are you going to get a

handyman to install this stuff?

>> No, I was just going to do it myself.

[laughter]

>> You're going to do it?

>> Yeah. Why? You don't think a woman can

do this?

>> Well, women can't. You can't.

>> Monica, will you please tell Joey that

he is a pig?

>> You're a pig and you can't do this.

>> What? What? Come on. I found the

hardware store all by myself.

>> The hardware store is right down the

street.

>> There is a hardware store right down the

street.

[music]

>> Hi. So, you gave in and decided to call

someone?

>> Yeah. I don't know who I was kidding. I

can barely use chopsticks.

>> You're all set.

>> Oh, thank you so much. Oh. Oh, wait. You

uh forgot your um your game.

Thank you. [laughter]

>> [music]

[laughter]

>> Ra.

[laughter]

Rachel, [laughter]

[laughter]

so I can't do anything I like.

I did it. I can't.

All right.

I better take all I can carry.

[laughter]

Who knows when I'll be able to get in

here again, huh?

>> Ross, listen. You want anything to drink

cuz I'm heading up there.

>> Uh, yeah. I'll take a coffee. Thanks,

man. Sure. Coffee?

>> Yeah.

>> Coffee? Cuz I'm going up there.

>> Oh, no. Thank you. [laughter]

>> Do you guys need anything? Cuz I'm

heading up there.

I'd love a ice water.

>> You got it. [laughter]

>> Joey, what are you doing?

>> Just being friendly.

>> Joey, honey, I don't think you're

supposed to go back there.

>> No, no, it's okay. Right, Gunther?

>> Don't wink at me.

>> Put on your apron. [laughter]

>> Okay. I don't see you asking any other

paying customers to put on aprons.

[laughter]

>> Joey, do you work here?

>> No.

>> Waiter.

>> Yeah.

>> Joey, what's going on? Why didn't you

tell us you work here?

>> Well, that

that's kind of embarrassing, you know? I

mean, I was an actor. Now I'm a waiter

supposed to go in the other direction.

So's your apron. You're wearing it like

a cape.

>> I mean, the job's easy and the money's

good, you know, and I guess if I'm going

to be hanging out here anyway, I might

as well get paid for it, right? Just

feel kind of weird serving you guys, you

know?

>> Joey, come on. I did it and it was fine.

>> Yeah, why would it be weird? Hey, Joey.

Uh, can I get some coffee?

>> Okay, I guess it doesn't seem that

weird.

>> Seriously, I I asked you before. You

still haven't gotten it.

>> Now it's weird again.

>> I think it's great that you work here.

You're going to make a lot of money. And

here is your first tip.

Don't eat yellow snow. [laughter]

215 coffee house.

>> What are you working on?

>> Oh, it's a uh it's a welcome home sign

for the baby.

>> How sweet. Oh, is that the baby?

>> No, I sat in a paint.

Hey, so did you talk to Rachel?

>> No. And uh I'm not going to.

>> What?

>> Why not? Because she's just going to

shoot me down. You guys saw what

happened with Gunther. That did not look

like fun.

>> How can you compare yourself to Gunther?

I mean, sure, he's sexy in a more

obvious way. [laughter] But

you have a relationship with her. You

slept together last night.

>> Yeah. And she still wants to go. It's

pretty clear where she is. Yeah, I know

what you mean. I mean, sometimes.

>> Uh, Joe.

>> Damn it.

>> Hey.

>> Hey. How's it going? Did you make any

new friends?

>> Yeah. Yeah. I met this woman.

>> Hey, Mom. Whoa. What's she like?

>> Uh, well, she's really good in bed.

>> I thought you going to try to be friends

first.

>> Well, look. Hey, it's all your fault.

>> What? Why?

>> Because you didn't give me advice. No,

you gave me a pickup line. As soon as I

told her I wanted to, you know, build a

foundation and be friends first, I

suddenly, through no fault of my own,

became irresistible to her

and a roommate.

[laughter]

>> What about the closeness?

>> Closeness? There was three of us for

crying out loud.

>> What just happened?

>> I am so so sorry. I was going to do it

really. But then I was standing there

with $327 in one hand and $238 in the

other hand. And I was thinking, "Wow,

it's been a long time since I had

327 plus $238."

>> Joey, we had a deal that that's why

you're here. I've got to fire you.

>> And I got to pay rent.

Look,

how how about this? You don't fire me.

Instead, I stay here. I gain their trust

and then they'll start listening to all

the nice things I've been saying about

you.

>> Kind of things you've been saying.

>> Well, nothing yet. They really hate you

and I want to fit in.

>> Agent has just gotten me a job in the

new Alpuccino movie.

>> I love the part.

>> Can you believe this? Al Pacino. This

guy's the reason I became an actor. I'm

out of order. P. You're out of order.

This whole courtroom's out of order.

>> [laughter]

>> Seriously, what? What's the part?

>> Just when I thought I was out, they pull

me back in. [laughter] Come on.

Seriously, Joey, what's the part? Uh,

>> you're you're his what? [laughter]

>> I'm his butt double. Okay.

[laughter] I play Al Puccini's butt.

All right. He goes into the shower and

then I'm his butt. [laughter]

>> Oh my god.

>> Come on, you guys. This is a real movie

and Alpuccino's in it. And that's big.

>> Oh, no. It's terrific. It's It's You

know, you deserve this. After all your

years of struggling, you've finally been

able to crack your way into [laughter]

Listen, I just want to thank you for

this great opportunity.

>> Lose the rope

with me. That would work,

>> right? Okay. Losing the robe.

>> Okay. And the robe is lost.

>> Okay, everybody. I would like to get

this in one take, please. Let's roll it.

Water's working.

And action.

And cut. Hey, butt guy. What the hell

you doing?

[laughter]

>> I'm I'm chowing.

>> No, that was clenching.

Well, the way I see it, the guy's upset

here, you know? I mean, his wife's dead,

his brother's missing. I think his butt

would be angry here.

I think his butt would like to get the

shot before lunch. [laughter] Once

again, rolling. Water working.

And action.

And cut. What was that?

I was going for quiet desperation,

>> but if you have to ask.

Hey.

>> Hey.

>> Hey. Wait a minute. Aren't you the guy

who plays the butt in the new Alpuccino

movie?

[laughter]

>> Nope.

>> No. What happened, big guy?

>> Big guy?

>> It felt like a big guy moment.

>> I got fired.

>> Oh,

>> yeah. They said I acted too much with

it.

>> Hey Ra, how you doing with the shiny?

>> Oh, Danny just went into room 217.

>> Ooh, the next part's the best when that

dead lady in the bathtub.

>> Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Come

on. You're going to ruin it.

>> All right, I'll talk in code. Remember

when the kid sees those two blanks in

the hallway?

>> That's very cool.

>> All blank and no blank makes blank a

blank blank.

>> [laughter]

>> Oh, no, no, no. The end when Jack almost

kills them all with that blank, but then

in the last second they get away.

>> Joey, I can't believe you just did that.

>> I can't believe she cracked your code.

>> All right. Okay. Lori proposes to Joe

and she says no, even though she's still

in love with him. And then he ends up

marrying Amy.

Hey, mine was by accident.

All right. The boiler explodes and

destroys the hotel and kills the dad.

>> Beth dies.

[cheering]

>> Beth [laughter]

Beth dies.

Is that true? If I keep reading, is Beth

going to die?

>> No. Beth doesn't die. She doesn't die.

Does she, Rachel?

>> What?

>> Joey's asking if you've just ruined the

first book he's ever loved that didn't

star Jack Nicholson.

>> Say, Joe, I had a strange idea for what

we could do for our last night. What do

you say we play a little uh foosball for

money?

>> Are you crazy? You haven't beaten me

once since my injury plague 97 season.

Be easier if you just give me your

money.

>> Yes, it would.

What do you say to $50?

>> Okay, you're on.

>> Yes,

>> I win again. That's like 500 bucks you

owe me. Woohoo.

$500. That is a lot of electricity.

Yeah.

I got to buy some food. [laughter]

>> Okay. Give me a chance to win my money

back. Okay. Sudden death. One goal.

$1,000.

>> You serious?

>> Oh, yes.

>> Okay. Get ready to owe me.

>> Okay. Okay. Here we go. Ready?

[music]

>> [laughter]

[music]

>> No, no, no, no, no,

>> no, no. One can beat me.

>> See, now that's why only the little fake

men are supposed to do the kicking.

>> [laughter]

>> We can play a new game. A new game. It's

fun.

>> Well, what's it called?

>> Cups.

>> I don't know how to play cup.

>> I'll teach you. Come on. Come on. It's

really easy. Really, really fun.

>> All right.

>> Okay. Here you go.

>> I have two queens. What do you have?

>> A two and a five.

>> You win $50. [laughter]

>> Really?

>> Oh, yeah. Okay, let's play again. Ready?

What do you got?

>> Four and a nine.

>> You're kidding, right?

[laughter]

>> No. Why?

>> Well, that's a full cup.

>> You win. Oh, what did you have? Well, it

doesn't matter. Nothing beats a three

and a six.

That, my friend, is decup.

>> Okay. Now, how much have you won so far?

Uh,

>> wow. 700.

>> Not 700 exactly. Yeah.

Double it.

>> Yes. See, in cups, once you get $700,

you have to double it. [laughter]

Hey, I didn't make up the rules.

Okay. So, now after you receive the

doubling bonus, you get uh one card.

Now, that one card could be worth $100,

which brings your total to $1,500. No,

no, don't get too excited because that's

not going to happen unless you get the

No way.

What's wrong?

>> Ross and I were helping the girls pack.

Took a little break. I lost $1,500 to

him at Cops. [laughter]

What? How did you lose at Cops? The same

way you lost. I start out with the king

and a queen. Bam. Ross gets a two and a

three. [laughter] Then I get a jack and

a king. Boom. Ross, it's a four and a

five. Maybe Ross was getting the the cup

card, the the D cup, the the sitting

down bonus. Meanwhile, I didn't even get

A HALF A CUP. NOTHING. [laughter]

>> OH, MAN.

>> Where's Chandler?

>> Uh, he can't make it. He said he had to

go back to his uh job and do uh Whoa.

[laughter]

>> Joey.

Joey. Tribani.

[laughter]

>> Joey, I can see you. Okay. You're hiding

behind the coats.

Close

[laughter]

one.

>> Is uh is Chandler around?

>> No. Um he met some girl at the coffee

house.

>> Yeah. Ginger or something?

>> No.

>> No. No. Uh are you sure it wasn't

something that sounded like ginger? Like

uh ginger?

No, it was Ginger. I remember because

when he told me I said the movie star.

>> Oh man, that's the girl I was hiding

from. When she finds out he's my

roommate, she's going to tell him what I

did.

>> Well, what did you do?

>> Oh. Oh. Oh, no. No. I can't

I can't tell you that. It's like the

most awful, horrible thing I've ever

done in my whole life.

>> You know what? Don't tell us. We'll just

wait till Trainer gets home because

it'll be more fun that way.

>> All right.

Okay, it was like four years ago. Okay,

Jinger and I had gone out a few times

and then this one weekend we went up to

her dad's cabin. Just me, her, and her

annoying little dog, Pepper. Well, that

night, I cooked this really romantic

dinner.

>> You gave her food poisoning.

>> I wish [laughter]

after dinner, me, her, and Pepper all

fell asleep in front of the fire. Well,

I woke up in the middle of the night and

I saw that the fire was dying out. So, I

picked up a log and threw it on.

Or at least what I thought was a log.

>> Oh my god, you threw pepper on the fire.

>> I wish.

[laughter]

See, I guess another thing I probably

should have told you about Ginger is

that she kind of has a uh

artificial leg.

>> [laughter]

>> Oh my god,

>> Joey. What did you do after you threw

her leg on the fire?

>> I ran.

>> Really? A purse?

>> It's not a purse. It's a shoulder bag.

>> Looks like a woman's purse.

>> No, Joey. Look, trust me. I'm telling

all the men are carrying them in the

spring catalog. Okay.

>> See, look. Men carrying the bag.

>> See? Look. Women carrying the bag.

>> But it is odd how a woman's purse looks

so good on me. A man.

>> Exactly. Unisex.

>> Maybe you need sex. I had sex a couple

days ago.

Oh no, Joey. You and I sex.

>> Well, I ain't going to say no to that.

[laughter]

>> Hey. Hey.

>> Wow, you look just like your son, Mrs.

Tribani.

>> What are you referring to? my man's bag.

[laughter]

At first, I thought it just looked good,

but it's practical, too. Check it out.

It's got compartments for all your

stuff. Your wallet, your keys, your

address book, your makeup.

[laughter]

>> Joey, what are you doing with the bag?

Your audition's not till tomorrow.

>> Yeah, but sandwich time is right now.

>> Joey, you know, you get any mustard on

that bag, you can't return it.

>> Why would I return this? I love this

bag.

>> All right. Well, then you owe me $350.

Fine. Do you take Vasa or Mooster Card,

>> Joey?

>> All right, relax. Look, I'll pay you

with the money from the acting job I am

definitely going to get thanks to you.

>> What's the part? Auntie Mame. [laughter]

>> Don't listen to them. I think it's sexy.

>> You and I sexy.

>> Hey, I'm off to my audition. How do I

look?

I think you look great, Joey. That bag

is going to get you that part.

>> And a date with a man. [laughter]

>> You know what? Make fun all you want.

This is a great bag, okay? And it's as

handy as it is becoming.

Now, just because you don't understand

something doesn't make it wrong. All

right? So, from now on, you guys are

going to have to get used to the fact

that Joey comes with a bag.

>> Ready, Joey?

[clears throat] Well, you must be new

here. Maybe we get a table. I'd buy you

a drink.

>> I'm sorry. Could you Could you try it

without the purse?

[laughter]

>> Yeah, sure.

[snorts]

[clears throat]

>> Well, you must be new here. Maybe we

sit. I'm sorry. Can I ask you something?

>> Sure. What?

>> Well, first, it's not a purse.

Okay. Anytime. I mean, if if you're

thinking it's a woman's bag, it's not.

It's a man's bag. [laughter]

Okay. And go.

I Let me show you the catalog.

Look. See? Huh? It's the latest thing.

Everyone's got one. Men, women,

children, everyone's carrying them. Um,

do you sell these bags?

>> Oh, no, no, no, no, no. These babies

sell themselves.

Okay. Thank you. That was great.

>> Yeah, but I didn't even read anything.

>> I think we've seen enough.

>> Okay. All right. I'll see it. We got it.

We got it.

>> Yeah. So, you going to call this one

back?

>> No.

>> But what are you talking about? Sarah's

great.

>> Oh, really? You want to know what your

great friend did?

>> We were out to dinner. Okay. We were

getting along, having a really nice

time. I was thinking she was really

cool. And then out of nowhere.

[music]

[laughter]

[music]

That's it. That That's why you won't go

out with her again. So, she took some

fries. Big deal.

>> Hey. Hey, look. It's not about a few

fries. It's about what the fries

represent.

>> What?

>> All food.

>> Well, I'm I'm sorry. I I I can't believe

I set you up with such a monster.

>> Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. [laughter]

Look, I take a girl out, she can order

whatever she wants. The more the better.

All right. Just don't order a garden

salad and then eat my food.

That's a good way to lose some fingers.

Oh, thank god you're here. Listen to

this.

>> So Joey and my friend are out last

night. They're having dinner and she

reaches over and takes a few of his

fries.

>> Oh, no.

>> What?

You you know about the the the plate

thing?

>> Oh, yeah. Yeah. No, Joey doesn't share

food. I mean, just just last week, we

were having breakfast and and he had a

couple of grapes on his plate.

>> You wouldn't let her have a grape?

>> Oh, no. Not me, Emma.

JOEY DOESN'T SHARE FOOD.

[laughter]

>> WELL, I still think that is a stupid

reason not to call someone again. You

are calling her. Okay. And if if you

need to, then just get an extra plate of

fries for the table.

I like that. A sharing buffer. Yeah.

Yeah. I'll order some extra fries, maybe

a plate of onion rings. Yeah. Yeah. And

a shrimp cocktail.

>> But I I I can't stay too long. I got to

get up early for a commercial audition

tomorrow and I got to look good.

Supposed to be playing a 19-year-old.

[laughter]

>> What? So, when you said get up early,

did you mean 1986?

>> You guys don't think I look 19?

>> [laughter]

>> Oh, 19. We thought you said 90.

[laughter]

>> Okay, everybody, LET'S GO. LET'S GO.

>> OKAY.

[laughter]

[laughter]

>> SUP. [laughter]

What's up, dude? [laughter]

>> Take whatever you want. Just please

don't hurt me.

>> It's like playing a little PlayStation,

huh?

That's whack. [laughter]

PlayStation

is whack. [laughter]

Sup with the whack PlayStation sump.

[laughter]

Huh?

Come on. Am I 19 or what? [laughter]

>> Yes. On a scale from 1 to 10, 10 being

the dumbest a person can look, you are

definitely 19.

>> Come on, man. Really? How old?

>> Young. You're a manchild. Okay. Now, go

get changed because everybody's ready.

And please Oh, please keep my underwear.

>> Oh, thanks.

>> Okay, [laughter]

now I can pass for 19, right?

>> Yes, you can pass for 19.

>> Really?

>> Yes. Seriously? Seriously? Seriously?

No. Okay. You can play your own age,

which is 31.

[laughter]

I'm 30.

>> Joey, you are not. You're 31.

>> Oh crap.

Hey. Hey.

So, what happened? Did a forest tick you

off?

>> No. You know how we're always saying we

need a place for the mail?

[laughter]

>> Yeah.

>> Well, I started building one, but then I

decided to take it to the next step.

>> You're building a post office?

>> No, an entertainment unit with a mail

cubby built right in. It's a one day

job, Max.

>> Okay.

My word, those are snug.

Oh yeah, this is my old work pants.

Sergio Valente.

[laughter]

>> Power saw kind of got away from me

there. [laughter]

Oh, sorry. Did I get you?

>> No, you didn't get me. It's an electric

drill. You get me, you kill me.

[laughter]

>> Calm down. Do you want this unit or not?

>> I do not want this unit.

>> Oh, you should have told me that before.

Not a mind reader. [laughter]

>> Hey, we're out of beer. Okay, I'm going

to Monica.

>> Fine.

You seen Joey?

>> What's the matter?

>> Oh, just this.

>> You know what? It's my fault, really,

because the couch is where we usually

keep the varnish.

>> Hey, somebody want to hand me one of

those tiles?

>> What's going on?

>> He's retiling my floor.

You spackle boy,

>> get up. Ah,

>> now you started this. You will finish

it.

>> He started mine first.

>> Build the unit, Cinderelli. Lay the

tile, Cinderelli.

[laughter]

>> Okay, on three. One, two. Why don't we

just go on two?

>> Why two? Because it's faster. Yo, I

could have counted to three like four

times without all this two talk. All

right. But in THE FUTURE,

>> OKAY, HEAVY THING NOT getting lighter.

>> Okay.

>> One, two.

>> So, we are going with two.

>> All right.

[laughter]

>> Well, good job, Joe.

[laughter]

>> Wow.

It's big.

Yeah. Yeah. So big that it actually

makes our doors look smaller.

Maybe my ruler's wrong.

>> Maybe all the rulers are wrong.

Look,

>> it's not that bad. So what? It blocks a

little of your door, a little of my

door.

>> Yeah. You know what? I got a better

idea. How How about it blocks none of my

door and a lot of your door?

[laughter]

Listen, before I forget, that side is

still wet.

>> You know what?

Bet you I could fit in there.

I get five bucks as you can

>> get out your checkbook, mister.

>> Well, I think I have the cash.

[laughter]

>> You are dog, man.

>> I totally fit.

>> Yeah, you got me. I'm at five big ones.

>> [laughter]

>> There you go.

>> Thank you. Cha-ching.

>> Oh, well, hello, Mr. Lincoln. [laughter]

Better luck next time, buddy.

And the drinks are on me.

>> What am I sitting on?

>> Top of the world. Dock of the Bay.

[laughter]

I'm out.

Oh, wings. Oh,

>> all right. Who's are they?

>> Who's are they?

>> Not mine.

>> Well, they're Joey's. They got to be

Joey's.

[laughter]

>> Yeah, they're mine.

>> See? Joy's. They're Joey. Joy's.

>> Why are they here?

>> I don't know. Uh,

I'm Joey.

Yeah, I'm disgusting. I take my

underwear off in other people's homes.

>> Well, get him out of here. What's wrong

with you?

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> Take them.

>> Joey, you can touch them. They're your

underwear.

>> Chandler, a word.

THAT'S IT. I'm tired of covering for you

two. This has got to stop.

>> So, is she around?

>> Uh, no. She's at dance class.

>> Can I check out what she did with my

room?

>> Yeah, but hey, look, don't go through

her stuff. She gets really mad.

>> Oh my god. What is It's like a guy never

lived in here.

Look, you got to be careful. This girl

thing is dangerous. It's spreading

already.

>> It is.

>> Yeah. Is this your pretty pink pillow on

the couch? [laughter]

>> No.

>> Is that your tiny little box that's TOO

SMALL TO PUT anything in?

>> No.

>> No. Okay. This is not good. You are a

guy. Okay. This is a guy's place. If you

let this go, you're going to be sitting

around with your fingers soaking and

stuff.

>> All right. All right. You're right. I

I'll TALK TO HER.

>> YES. TALK TO HER. BE A MAN. I'M A MAN.

>> DEFEND YOURSELF. H [laughter]

>> Taylor, come on. We have to h the new

dust riffle.

>> Be right there, sweets. [laughter]

Totally different situation.

[music]

[laughter]

>> Hey, Joey.

>> Hey. Uh, can I talk to you for a second?

There's a kid in this picture. Do you uh

you know this kid? Is that like a

relative or something? [laughter]

No, I just thought it was cute.

>> Yeah, that's what I was afraid of. Okay.

Uh,

look, Janine, I really want you to feel

at home here. But some of this new

stuff, it's just it's too girly.

>> Oh, like what?

>> Uh, like this pictures of cute babies.

We don't know.

We can't have that,

>> Joey. It's an Giddy. She's a famous

artist.

>> Look, I don't know this baby. I don't

know if she's a famous artist or not,

you know, and I don't want to be a jerk,

but you you're changing too much around

here.

>> I'm sorry. I just thought I'd try and

make the place a little nicer.

>> Yeah, but it's it's too much stuff, you

know? Like you got the candles and the

the foofy schmoer thing here. And over

here you got a picture of a watering

can. [laughter]

>> Well, I just thought

>> I'm sure it's a famous watering can.

Okay, but come on. And what is with the

really hot stick in the bathroom?

>> It's a curling iron.

[laughter]

>> Well, that's okay then. But okay, my

towels for instance. Okay, I come in the

bathroom here and my towel is not on the

floor where I keep it.

>> It's up here on some hook and smells

different.

>> It's clean. Yeah, but it it feels

different.

>> It's dry. [laughter]

>> All right, I can make my piece with the

clean, dry towels. And okay, also, what

is with these chips you bought? I don't

>> No, no, no, no. It's po puri. You're

supposed to smell it.

[laughter]

>> Well, that's like summer in a bowl.

So, what's really neat is if you sear

the stems of the flowers first in a

frying pan, your arrangement will look

fresh much longer. [laughter]

>> Joey, that is such a great tip.

>> Monica, could you excuse us for a

second? I need to talk to the girl with

the flowers. [laughter]

>> Okay. Oh, Joey, come over later cuz I'm

going to teach you how to make a bird

feeder out of just a pine cone and some

peanut butter. A

>> I love birds.

>> [laughter]

>> WHAT IS THE MATTER with you?

>> WHAT?

>> YOU'RE ARRANGING FLOWERS. [laughter]

>> You get You GET YOU GOT DEAD FLOWERS.

YOU GOT A YOU GOT A PICTURE OF A BABY

DRESSED LIKE FLOWERS. [laughter]

>> This is not Joey.

>> Hey. Hey, look. I am still Joey. Okay.

Flowers. They're just, you know, they're

nice to look at. And that happens to be

a picture by a famous artist of a famous

baby.

[laughter]

>> You're turning into a woman.

No, I'm not. Why would you say that?

That's just mean.

>> Now I've upset you. What did I say?

>> Not what you said. It's just the way you

said it. [laughter]

>> Oh my god,

>> I'm a woman.

>> I'm glad you're back. I really need your

help.

>> Oh, why? What's up?

>> Well, I have an audition for this play

and for some of it, I have to speak

French, which according to my resume,

I'm fluent in.

>> Joey, you shouldn't lie on your resume.

Yeah, you really shouldn't. And by the

way, how was that year-long dig in

Cairo?

>> It was okay.

>> I did not know you spoke French.

Sure.

>> Seriously, stop it. I'm going to jump on

you. [laughter]

>> All right. Well, it seems pretty [music]

simple. Your first line is my name is

Claude. So, just repeat after me.

>> Clude the plow.

[laughter]

>> Let's just Let's try it again. Okay.

two. [laughter]

>> Huh? It's not quite what I'm saying.

[laughter]

>> Really? Sounds exactly the same to me.

>> It does. Really?

>> Yeah.

>> All right. Well, let's just try it

again. Really? Listen.

>> Got it.

>> Mel

fle. [laughter]

>> Oh, the foof.

Jim Claude

>> should call blue.

>> No.

>> Okay, maybe if we just break it down.

>> Okay, let's just let's try it one

syllable at a time. Okay, so repeat

after me.

>> M

>> pel.

>> Great. Okay, faster. Jm

>> peloo.

>> [laughter]

>> It's too hard. I can't teach you.

>> What are you doing?

>> I I have to go before I put your head

through a wall.

>> No, don't go. I need you. My audition is

tomorrow.

>> I'll count from one to five.

>> Blue blah flu flank.

Good job.

>> Thank you.

>> Hey, Joey.

>> Listen, I feel really badly about

yesterday and I thought about it a lot.

No, I was too impatient. So, let's try

it again.

>> Oh, no. That's okay. I don't I don't

need your help. I worked on it myself

and I got to say I am pretty good.

>> Really? Can I hear some of it?

>> Sure. Sure.

>> Okay. [clears throat]

blah bl [laughter]

you're not

you're not you're again you're you're

not speaking French.

>> Oh well I think I am. Yeah. And I think

I'm definitely going to get the part.

>> How could you possibly think that?

>> For one thing. THE GUY ON THE TAPE SAID

I WAS DOING A GOOD JOB.

Whenever you're ready, Joey, right?

[clears throat]

[laughter]

>> I'm sorry. What's going on, dude? Come

on. French it up.

Joey, do you speak French?

[laughter]

>> You know what? I think this audition is

over.

Uh, excuse me. Uh, I am Rejene Fange.

[laughter]

Uh, I I was passing by when I heard this

man speaking the the regional dialect of

my French town of Estee Lauder.

>> You really think this man is speaking

French?

[laughter]

>> [laughter]

>> Good job, little buddy.

>> [laughter]

[applause]

>> That was some really good French, but I

think we're going to go with someone

else for the part.

>> Oh, yeah. All right. But my French was

good.

>> It was great.

>> Merci.

>> Yeah.

>> That's my car.

>> Really? Oh. Uh, but just give me five

more minutes with it.

[laughter]

>> What are you doing? Oh, well, I uh I

found the keys and now I'm just

polishing her up.

>> But it's my car.

>> Yeah, but it's my wax.

>> Listen, I don't come to this city much

and I don't know if you're crazy or if

this is some kind of street theater, but

[laughter]

could I have my keys?

>> Sure. Here.

>> I'll uh I'll save your parking spot.

>> Not coming back.

>> Why not?

>> I live upstate.

>> Yeah, so did I.

>> [laughter]

>> So, the Porsche guy took his car back.

[laughter]

>> But you found the keys to his clothes.

[laughter]

>> No, I just uh I just love the way it

feels when everybody thinks I own a

Porsche.

>> And people would think you own a Porsche

because you're wearing the clothes.

>> Of course,

only an idiot would wear this stuff if

you didn't have the car. [laughter]

That is true.

>> Yeah, but only a genius would swallow a

sonic blaster gun.

>> Oh, I've been there.

>> I am going to go drive my Porsche.

>> Joey, you know you don't actually have

one.

>> Come on. What are you doing? I'm in

character. Will you talk to her?

[laughter]

>> Hey, hey, hey, careful around my porch.

>> [laughter]

>> Hi, Joey.

>> Hey, how you doing?

>> He has the most amazing Porsche under

there.

>> I'd love to show you, but I just tucked

her in. She's sleeping. [laughter]

>> Hey, uh, would you two girls like to go

for a drink?

>> Joey Peponyi.

>> Oh, still too ethnic. My agent thinks I

should have a name that's more neutral.

Joey Switzerland.

Plus, you know, I think it should be

Joe. You know, Joey makes me sound like

I'm this big, which I'm not.

Joe. Joe. Joe. Stalin. [laughter]

Stalin.

Stalin. Do I know that name? That sounds

familiar. Well, it does not ring a bell

with me.

Joe Stalin.

[laughter]

>> You know that's pretty good.

>> You might want to try Joseph.

[applause]

>> Joseph Stalin.

>> I think you'd remember that.

>> Oh yes. [laughter]

Bye-bye birdie starring Joseph Stalin.

Joseph Stalin is the fiddler on the

roof.

[laughter]

>> You know, there already is a Joseph

Stalin. [laughter]

[cheering]

>> You're kidding.

Apparently, he was this Russian dictator

who slaughtered all these people.

[laughter]

You'd think you would have known that.

You know, you'd think I would have.

>> Oh, Joey. Um, you look familiar. Are,

uh, are you on TV or something?

>> Well, Joey doesn't like to talk about

it, but he's one of the stars of Days of

Our Lives.

[laughter]

>> That's right. That's right. Don't you

play a woman? [laughter]

>> A woman in a man's body. [laughter]

Much better.

So, you know, Ross, it's funny cuz you

look familiar to me, too. Have you ever

been married? [laughter]

>> Well, yes. Yes, I have. In fact, um,

just the other day, Chris and I were

talking about how I've been married and

how I have a son.

>> Yeah, little Eric.

>> That's right. Wait, no, Ben.

[laughter]

>> So, you just been married the one time

then? [laughter]

Well, um,

>> you've been married twice.

>> Yes.

And

another time after that.

Boy, I'm getting hungry.

Uh, hey Joey, have you ever been so

hungry on a date that when the girl goes

to the bathroom, you eat some of her

food?

[laughter]

You said the waiter ate my crab cake.

[laughter]

>> Yeah. So, uh, Ross, that now why did

that first marriage break up?

>> Hm. [laughter]

Was it because the woman was straight or

because she was a lesbian?

>> Hey, is this true that you write a lot

of your own lines?

>> Uh, well, kind of. Yeah.

>> Like remember last week when Alex was in

the accident? Well, the line in the

script was, "If we don't get this woman

to a hospital, she's going to die." But

I made it. If this woman doesn't get to

a hospital, she's not going to live.

[laughter]

>> Oh, okay. I see what you did there.

>> Aren't you afraid though that the

writers are going to be kind of mad when

they read this?

>> Huh? Never really thought about the

writers. The scripts just kind of come

to my house.

But you know what? This makes me look

good, which makes the show look good,

which makes the writers look good. So,

how could they be mad about that?

[laughter]

Makes up most of his lines. Son of a

Yeah, write this jerkwaited.

>> I fall down an elevator shaft. What the

hell does this mean? I fall down an

elevator shaft.

>> Uh, I don't know. I just bring the

scripts.

They can't kill me. I'm Franchesca's

longlost son.

>> Right,

>> Amber?

I want you to know that I'll always be

there for you as a friend and as your

brother.

>> Oh, Drake.

>> Huh? Where's the medical award?

>> Yeah, some guys are just lucky, I guess.

[laughter]

>> Dr. Ramore, report to first floor

emergency staff. All

right. Well, then uh

we uh guess that's me.

Anyone else need to go in the elevator?

Dr. Wong? Dr. Wong? No. No. They only

said you.

>> Oh, okay.

All right.

>> I love you, Drake.

>> Yeah, whatever.

[laughter]

>> OH, NO.

>> DRAKE, LOOK OUT. [screaming]

Did they just kill off Joey?

>> No.

>> Now, maybe.

>> All right, fine. You know what? We'll

both sit in the chair.

>> Fine with me.

[laughter]

>> I'm so comfortable.

>> Me, too.

>> In fact, I think I might be a little too

comfortable.

>> All right.

Okay, look. We have 19 minutes, okay?

Chandler, I want you to go and change,

okay? And then when you come back, Joey

will go change and he'll have vacated

the chair. Okay? Okay.

>> All right. Fine. I'm going. When I GET

BACK, IT'S CHAIR CITY AND I'M THE GUY

who's sitting in a chair.

All right. You will notice that I am

fully dressed. I in turn have noticed

that you are not. So in the words of aa

mil get out of my chair dealhole.

>> Okay.

[cheering]

[applause]

>> What are you doing?

>> Well, you said I had to give you the

chair. You didn't see anything about the

cushions.

>> The cushions are the essence of the

chair.

>> That's right. I'm taking the essence.

Oh, he'll be back. Oh, there's nobody in

the room.

>> Where's my underwear? Whoa, whoa, whoa,

whoa. Come on. Come on. What? You took

his underwear?

>> He took my essence.

>> Okay, hold on.

>> Joey, why why can't you just wear the

underwear you're wearing now?

>> Cuz I'm not wearing any underwear now.

>> Okay. Um, then why do you have to wear

underwear tonight?

>> It's a rented tux. Okay. Not going to go

commando in another man's fatigues.

>> [applause and cheering]

>> Well, then it looks like somebody's

going to have to give somebody back his

cushions.

>> Okay, you hide my clothes. I'm going to

do the exact opposite to you.

What are you What are you going to show

me my clothes? Hey, opposite

is opposite.

He's got nothing.

>> [applause]

>> Okay, buddy boy. Here it is.

You hide my clothes, I'm wearing

everything you own.

Oh my god,

[laughter]

that is so not the OPPOSITE OF TAKING

SOMEBODY'S UNDERWEAR.

Look at me. I'm Chandler. Could I be

wearing any more clothes?

>> [music]

重点词汇

词汇	含义
accidentally /ˌæksɪˈdentəli/ B2	adverb - 偶然地
appreciate /əˈpriːʃieɪt/ B1	verb - 欣赏
audition /ɔːˈdɪʃn/ B2	noun - 试镜
comfortable /ˈkʌmftəbl/ A2	adjective - 舒适
disgusting /dɪsˈɡʌstɪŋ/ B1	adjective - 令人作呕
embarrassing /ɪmˈbærəsɪŋ/ B1	adjective - 令人尴尬
explanation /ˌekspləˈneɪʃn/ A2	noun - 解释
horrible /ˈhɒrəbl/ A2	adjective - 可怕
irresistible /ˌɪrɪˈzɪstəbl/ C1	adjective - 无法抗拒
medieval /ˌmediˈiːvl/ C1	adjective - 中世纪
occupation /ˌɒkjʊˈpeɪʃn/ B1	noun - 职业
paleontologist /ˌpæliɒnˈtɒlədʒɪst/ C2	noun - 古生物学家
propose /prəˈpəʊz/ B1	verb - 求婚
reflex /ˈriːfleks/ B2	noun - 反射
technically /ˈteknɪkli/ B2	adverb - 严格来说