- Hello, and welcome to another edition
00:00
of Buzzfeed Unsolved Post Mortem,
00:01
a show where we answer your
most pressing questions
00:02
about the most recent
episode of Buzzfeed Unsolved,
00:04
which was Natalie Wood.
00:07
All the questions we're answering
today came from you guys,
00:08
via our Buzzfeed Unsolved Facebook page,
00:11
which you can see right here.
00:13
And... do, do what you gotta do.
00:15
- You know what, now that
we're really, finally
00:17
getting to the end of this whole saga,
00:20
the hot dog saga, hotdoga,
whatever you wanna call it, um,
00:23
I think we gotta bring
back our snack boys,
00:27
'cause you're gonna wanna
pull out the popcorn
00:30
for this one at the end of the episode.
00:32
(background carnival music)
So let's just
00:34
bring those guys back, 'cause
I had a great with them.
00:35
There was that fun whistle at
the end, remember? (chuckles)
00:36
- What?
(zinger sound effect)
00:39
Are you gonna actually deliver
00:41
on the story this time,
or are you gonna...
00:42
- Oh, I'm gonna deliver.
00:45
- Before we get into questions,
00:47
you may notice we are
not on our normal set.
00:48
It's because we're actually out shooting
00:50
for a new season of Buzzfeed Unsolved.
00:53
We can't tell you where we
are, because it's a secret.
00:56
- We didn't ship all our books out here.
00:58
While we're gone, we're
actually having them rebound.
01:00
But I've got Satanic verses
memorized at this point, so--
01:02
- Good, good, good.
- I mean, I don't
01:05
have to read it every day.
01:06
- Do you want to take the first one?
01:08
Here we go, from Tara Raessi.
01:10
So Ryan can pronounce
Doctor Lakshamanen...
01:13
- I think it's Doctor
Lakshmanan Sathyavagiswaran.
01:18
- Perfectly, but can't say Feb-e-ary,
01:21
New-fawnd-land, or Bath, Bat-hurst right?
01:24
This is the real unsolved mystery here.
01:27
- You know, I mean that name
definitely took some practice.
01:30
I actually think I said
it wrong right there.
01:32
- Do you have a cut from the V.O. booth
01:33
where you struggled with it?
01:35
Can we cue that up? (beep)
01:36
- [Ryan] Did the report
cast more questions
01:38
on the nature of the bruises
and abrasions on Wood's body.
01:40
Positing that they likely had to have been
01:43
on her body before she
fell into the water.
01:45
Oh boy, this name is...
01:48
Lock shmo non... oh my god,
how am I gonna pronounce this?
01:50
(beep) Okay. Doctor Lakshmanan Sathfay,
01:53
Sathgav, frirgiswarahbuhgohy.
01:56
(beep) Doctor Lakshmanan Sakyav oh my god!
01:58
(beep) Doctor Lakshmanan Sathyavagiswaran.
02:01
I think that was good? (beep)
02:05
I mean, could you say that?
02:06
I mean like, try it really,
try actually pronouncing that.
02:07
- Doctor Lakshmanan Sachyavagaswaran?
02:10
- Satyavar gis sharawarn.
02:15
- Sathyavagiswaran.
02:21
Doctor Lakshmanan Sathyavagiswaran.
02:23
(jittery exclamatory sounds)
02:25
You still say Feb-e-ary, though.
02:30
Kaylin Elizabeth Wheeler asks
02:32
(snorting laughter)
02:49
Yeah, I agree with you, I, I don't,
02:55
I think that's why I
established in the beginning
02:57
that she had all these fears of water,
02:59
so that it wouldn't make sense
03:01
that she would try and
take a dip at night.
03:02
- Here's the thing with these questions.
03:04
You don't have to convince me
03:05
that somebody murdered her. (snickering)
03:06
I'm pretty sure... eh.
03:09
- Oh god, should we do this one?
03:12
I don't know.
- Let's read it.
03:13
Let's...
- Oh, boy.
03:15
- This is a short story,
if you remember last week,
03:16
our pal Holly Horsely sent
in a pretty gripping account.
03:19
(horselike snorts)
Yeah.
03:23
(horselike snorts)
- It was good, man.
03:25
- It was a really good one.
03:26
- I've neigh-ver see, (Ryan laughs)
03:27
read something that, that compelling.
03:29
Anyway, we, we encouraged
her to really flex her
03:32
writing chops
- Yeah.
03:34
- and maybe put some, some bestsellers
03:35
out there on the shelves.
03:37
- And whoah, she did a good one
03:38
right there.
- Oh, she
03:40
rose to the occasion.
03:41
Could we get some ah, some,
some nice music for this?
03:42
- (low pitched beat) Thanks.
- Who, who are you,
03:45
- Thanks, that's good.
03:47
The Latest Crime Thriller
by Detective Horsely.
03:51
Ooh, I like it already.
- Sinister.
03:54
- I, I didn't actually realize
04:11
that this was this well written.
04:13
Jesus Christ, this is actually good.
04:16
(Ryan snickers hysterically)
04:44
- (both giggling) Holy shit!
04:56
Detective Horsely out.
05:09
- Holly Horsely is a
force to be reckoned with,
05:13
or a horse to be reckoned with.
05:16
- (laughing wheezily) A tour de horse.
05:17
- There was a pearl of
a theory, though, inside
05:20
that, actually.
- Sleepwalking.
05:22
- Sleepwalking.
- Yeah.
05:23
- That answers why she
would get into the water,
05:24
because she wasn't cognizant of it.
05:27
Goddamnit, Horsely, you've done it again.
05:30
- Horsely, you've cracked it!
05:31
- Here's your badge and gun back.
05:34
- What do you have to say about that?
05:50
- Are you Canadian?
05:52
- What do you have to say about that?
05:52
- They're fast swimmers, they're not
05:53
fast swimmers, they eat salmon.
05:54
- A polar--
- Are you out,
05:56
are you out of your mind?
05:57
- A polar bear has a better chance
05:58
of killing a shark, than a shark has,
05:59
of any kind of shark--
- You know what has
06:01
a better chance of killing both of those?
06:02
- Oh Jesus Christ, now
you're changing the subject?
06:05
- I'm always on Team Hippo.
06:06
- Yeah, probably best for you.
- Here's one from, ah,
06:09
Natalie Wood shackin' up with
a crusty old sea captain?
06:48
- I don't think that part's true,
06:53
I don't think anything
happened in that hotel,
06:55
I actually believe him.
06:56
But I do think he wishes
something would've happened.
06:57
And I know that's a
weird thing to say, but--
07:00
- Oh didn't he have, didn't
he, wasn't he weird about it?
07:01
Wasn't he like, "She had beautiful feet."
07:03
- Oh, I thought he had
a weird quote about her.
07:07
- Well basically, he lied.
07:08
- Oh.
- He said that
07:10
the first night didn't
happen the way it did.
07:11
My guess is nothing actually happened,
07:13
he may have wanted something to happen,
07:15
he described himself as
a close family friend
07:16
and that he was very
protective of Natalie.
07:19
I just can't, it seems like this man
07:21
was a little jealous of Wagner,
07:24
and that's maybe why he started to release
07:26
some of the unsavory details to tabloids
07:28
- It's pretty good.
- I, I don't even
07:31
know why we're bothering with
the rest of these questions
07:32
(Ryan laughs)
when Holly,
07:33
why didn't we answer
Holly Horsely at the end?
07:34
- Yeah, we should just
cut to Holly Horsely
07:36
at the end of every episode.
07:38
- Horsely's Corner. (snickers)
07:40
- Covered in (laughs)
07:44
- Alrighty, let's go to Marissa McIntire.
07:46
all over the place
- All a, lotta,
08:13
lotta, lotta, different
08:14
- Yeah.
- offshoots there.
08:16
And then a little firework.
(popping sound effect)
08:17
- My brain kind of exploded at
08:19
the mention of you having a magical penis.
08:20
- We don't have to, we can
just move right past that one?
08:22
- Quite normal.
- Boilerplate.
08:28
- Who doesn't throw their
glass after a toast?
08:29
Everybody, except Thor.
08:32
That's the only person I could think of.
08:34
- Where are you, where are
you from? (Ryan snickers)
08:35
Were you raised in a barn?
08:37
- With Holly Horsely? (giggles)
08:39
- With Holly Horsely.
08:40
- With Holly Horsely.
08:41
- Here's one from Monica Yanas, Yeah nas.
08:42
Inside Daisy Clover?
08:58
- Uncultured swine.
08:59
- I promise you this, I'll
make a promise right here.
09:03
I'm never gonna watch Gypsy!
09:05
Out of, out of spite!
09:09
- Okay, just take it easy on her, man.
09:11
We should record a
commentary track for it.
09:14
- Now we gotta do that,
since we've said it.
09:16
Look, look for our Gypsy commentary,
09:18
coming soon.
- We'll do it on the plane.
09:20
- Could put it on
iTunes, how does it work?
09:22
- I, I dunno, we'll figure it out.
09:23
Put it on the Facebook page
09:25
or something.
- Yeah.
09:25
- This comes from uh, Pow-Lah Jaclyn.
09:26
This is the last question.
09:28
Uh, it's not a legit phobia,
and I think it's stupid,
09:50
that's what it should be called.
09:53
- Well I, I'm sorry, I guess
09:54
I didn't realize there were phobia police.
09:55
- Well, I mean you always police
my phobia of bears at very
09:58
- I don't police
- Realist
10:01
- I, you're allowed
- It's a very
10:02
realistic
- to be afraid of bears.
10:03
- It's a very realistic phobia,
it's um, it's actually true.
10:04
- I don't feel like I have to defend it.
10:08
I'm not like, "Oh, you're right!
10:10
"It's silly to be afraid of that!"
10:12
- Then don't, don't defend it.
10:13
- I mean, you spend every shoot
cowering in fear of a corner
10:14
because you hear a little gust of wind.
10:17
- 'Cause it's ghosts.
10:19
- Well, we've all got our things.
10:20
Ryan, what do we got coming up this week?
10:22
- The next episode is about,
uh, the place that spawned you,
10:24
the place that's responsible for this.
10:28
- Chicago.
- No one's gonna know,
10:37
there's a bunch of murders in Chicago.
10:38
- That's true, Chicago's responsible
10:40
for a lot of horrible things.
10:41
- One of which is sitting next to me
10:45
with those beady little eyes.
10:47
So that does it for this episode
10:48
of Buzzfeed Unsolved Post Mortem.
10:50
Make sure you watch the new episode
10:51
of Buzzfeed Unsolved this Friday.
10:52
Send in your questions
to the Buzzfeed Unsolved
10:54
Facebook page, which
you can see right here.
10:55
And he is once again winding up--
10:58
- Ooh, yeah!
- To send.
11:00
- Okay, here we go.
- To disappoint you all.
11:01
I guarantee you,
- No, no, no no.
11:03
- you will leave this video disappointed,
11:04
so if you don't want to be disappointed,
11:06
I recommend you leave right now.
11:07
That being said, do your worst.
11:09
It's happening for real this time.
11:12
Until... flash to white.
11:15
The place, Rochester, New York.
11:20
Two slender, sexy hot dogs are bathed
11:23
in the glow of a stained glass window.
11:25
Behind them, sausage priest.
(wedding march music)
11:27
- Do you two rich, beloved characters
11:31
vow to love each other,
to hold each other,
11:33
and whatever the rest of
this wedding speech is?
11:36
- Rebecca, you are the most beautiful
11:40
hot dog I have ever seen.
11:43
I hope you never get eaten
11:44
on the 4th of July, like my parents.
11:46
I will love you forever.
11:48
- Dan, your words are making
me happy, so I am smiling.
11:52
I love you, and I hope
you don't get murdered
11:56
(murmuring) by my evil whore sister.
11:58
- Uh, nothing, I do.
12:03
- Very well, I here do there
by, as the sausage priest,
12:05
another layered, universally
adored character,
12:11
pronounce thee husband and wife.
12:16
(Ryan laughs)
For better or for wurst.
12:18
(hums fanfare music) Pfft.
- Honk honk.
12:23
- So how many times are
you gonna flash back
12:27
before you actually show us what happens
12:28
- We're getting, yeah,
we're getting there.
12:31
I was ready to end it, man.
12:32
- Sorry to disappoint you.
12:34
That's it for this.
12:35
- Crab joust coming, don't, don't worry.
12:36
- It's not gonna come,
it's never gonna come.
12:38
- Hashtag crab joust.
(splat)
12:40
- Don't hashtag that.
12:41
- That'll be a good hashtag,
that'll be trending.
12:44
- It's not gonna trend.
12:46
- Dude, do not, (stammers) don't do that.
12:48
(eerie electronica music)
12:50