– 英语/中文 双语歌词

歌词与翻译

[中文]

莫妮卡，

现在几点了？呃，9。

但是外面天黑了。嗯，好吧，那是

，因为你总是睡到中午，

傻。

这就是九的样子。

我想我会被洗干净的。

观看日出。

我真的厌倦了一直偷偷摸摸

。我知道。我也是。

你知道。嘿，你知道吗？如果我们

整个周末都不在家怎么办？你

知道，我们不会受到打扰，而且我们

可能会一直赤身裸体。整个

周末。这完全是赤裸裸的。

是的。我可以说我有一个

会议，你可以说你有一个

厨师活动。哦，我一直想去

参加他们在

泽西岛举办的烹饪博览会。好吧，你知道你不是。别

担心。

我们走吧。好的。等等，

[音乐]

乔伊怎么样？该死的罗洛斯。

嘿，你回来了。嘿，你的

会议怎么样？太可怕了。我一直在

。你在开玩笑吗？

时间里和我的同事们打架

呃，所以你的周末彻底失败了。

呃，不。我看到唐纳德·特朗普

正在等待

电梯。

嘿。嘿，宾先生。您

住的那家名为

的呃酒店说有人在

您的房间里留下了一个睫毛夹。

是的，那是我的。

因为我认为你和某个

女孩勾搭上了，但她把它留在那里了。是的，

会更有意义

。你知道，我什至感觉

我不再认识你了，伙计。好的。

听着，我只是想问你这个问题

次。好吧，无论你说什么，

我都会相信

你。您是否参加过

同性恋游轮？

嘿。嘿。嘿。哦，嘿，莫妮卡。我听说

您在大会上看到了唐纳德·特朗普。

是的。所以，我在等电梯。

嘿，Ra。我可以借你的

睫毛夹吗？我想我失去了我的。是的。

[鼓掌]

我可以和你谈谈吗？

[音乐]

是的。

是的。你和你。

是的。但你不能告诉任何人。没有人

知道。如何？什么时候？

事情发生在伦敦。在伦敦？

我们没有告诉任何人的原因是

，因为我们不想从中做大

交易。但这是一件大事。我

必须告诉某人。

你不能。请。请。我们只是不想

想要告诉所有人。

好的。只要保证你不会说出去。

全部

正确。伙计，这

令人难以置信。我的意思是，这很棒，但是

我知道它很棒。

哦，我不想看到这个。

你们真可爱。我知道。

好的。我早上见。

好的。好的。

[音乐]

你知道，我喜欢和你一起做填字游戏

，亲爱的。哦，我也是。现在，让我们

完成此操作并上床睡觉。好的。仅剩

一张。三字母词。不是

狗，而是

猫。

是的。你真聪明。

我爱你。我也爱你。

请把奶酪递过来。

天哪，你连看都不敢看我，对吧

？没有。

嘿，我是菲伊。我们可以和菲比谈谈。

不，我太沮丧了，无法说话。我将

给你 1,000 美元来与我们交谈。

嘿，你们。对于让海滩旅行成为

有何看法？不。

年度活动，您

好吧，就是这样。你们，

那里发生了什么？什么？我们走了

。什么也没发生。我回来了，但

我浑身上下什么都没有。

来吧。发生了什么事，乔伊？

好吧。不，乔伊。我们发誓永远不会

说出去。他们永远不会明白。

我们必须说点什么。我们必须把

它拿出来。它正在把我活活吃掉。

莫妮卡被水母蜇了。全部

都对。好的。

我被

蜇了。被蜇伤

。我受不了了。我无法

走路。我们距离

房子有两英里。我们很害怕并且独自一人

。我们认为我们无法做到

。我太痛苦了。我

厌倦了挖这个大洞。

[掌声]

然后乔伊想起了

一些事情。我在

探索频道上看到过这个东西。等一下。我在探索频道上看到了

。是的。

关于水母，如果

你

我以为我会因为疼痛而昏倒

。不管怎样，我尝试过，但我

我不能那样。

所以

[鼓掌]

没错。我走上前去。

她是我的朋友，她需要

帮助。如果必须的话，我会在你们

中的任何一个人身上撒尿。

只是呃我

不能。我怯场了。

我想帮忙，但压力太大了

。所以我呃我转向

钱德勒。

乔伊一直对我尖叫，“现在就做。

做。做吧。现在做。”

有时深夜，我仍然可以

听到尖叫声。

那是因为有时我只是穿过我的墙

来吓唬你。

什么？我刚刚意识到为什么我记得

这个地方。真的吗？它是什么？噢，

没什么。我和一个

住在这栋楼里的男人约会，但结果

不太好。那绝对不会是

乔伊·特里巴尼。是的，当然是。

是的，我们度过了一个非常美好的夜晚，

早上他答应会给我打电话

，但他没有。老鼠混蛋。

那么，你不是他的朋友？哦，

天哪。不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不。不，不，不，不，不，不。

...

不。

好吧，很抱歉我提出了这个问题。那么，

你们中有人打算住在

家里吗？

你好。里面有人吗？订购

名人。

那是什么？哦，那只是一个在大厅里闲逛的

疯子。

再次嗨。

嘿。

嘿。太感谢了。哦，别感谢

我。感谢那个从未出现的混蛋。

好的，我得开始工作了。

您需要这方面的帮助吗？噢，不

谢谢。我得到了它。哦，不，我不。

哇。你还好吗？

是啊。站起来太快了。有一点

的头潮。

热量

和湿度。

这是一个呃，这是一个艰难的组合。

[音乐]

她睡着了。这意味着我们可以，嗯，是的，

，但我们必须快。哦好的。我会

尝试一下。而且你不能发出任何声音。好的，

我会尝试的。

[音乐]

你好，艾玛。

嘿。

嗨。你好吗？你好吗？你的

保姆在哪里？

啊？卧室的门为什么关着？

当您

照顾小便时，您不能发生性行为。

嗯，这很奇怪。你声音很大，

我速度很快。

我想你这次可能真的做到了

。哦，为什么我要花钱去

做妊娠测试？我还想再拿一些

吗？

艾玛在哪里？我的天啊。艾玛在哪儿？

艾玛在哪里？别问我。我在

那里爱抚你。

好的。好的。我确信瑞秋很早就

回家并接了艾玛。你去

看看大厅，我会给自己打电话

。好的。嘿，你最好希望

我们怀孕了，因为不管怎样，

我们都会给

瑞秋生一个孩子。嘿，莫妮卡。我们有一个问题。

好的。是的，第无数次，

我在

健身房看到其他女性在洗澡。不，我不看。

不，不是那个。我们正在尝试

找出今晚尼克斯队

比赛的阵容。我们还有一张额外的票。是的。

罗斯不能去。这是我的

朋友 Eric Prower 之间的事，他有

呼吸问题。丹用戳。你看过

那场比赛吗？你还想喝点啤酒吗？

那是斯派克·李吗？好的。

嘿，你为什么不问问理查德呢？

好的。呃，嘿理查德，如果你有一张

额外的尼克斯队

比赛门票，并且你必须在一个闻起来有味道的

朋友和一个伤你

的朋友之间做出选择，你会选谁？哇。好吧，

作为尼克斯队的铁杆球迷，我认为

你应该选择一个

尼克斯队铁杆球迷的人。

好的，那是埃里克。

很高兴为您提供帮助。比赛。

我的意思是你为什么不带理查德去看

比赛？

什么？

我不知道。快点。他保守自己的

手指，并且总是保持薄荷味

清新。

Rich 真的很好，一切都很好。呃

只是我们不太了解他

，你知道。而且，你知道，他比某些

年长，但比某些

人

建筑物年轻。你在泡泡里看起来很可爱。

不，你只是喝醉了。

嘿，我进来了。

我度过了漫长而辛苦的一天。

呃，我要去买点鸡肉。

你想要一些吗？呃，不用了，谢谢。没有

鸡。那么再见。

你确定吗？最后一些额外的脆脏米

豆。不，出去。

出去吧，乔伊。好的。

你还好吗？我很抱歉。他不会

离开。他一直问我是否想要

鸡肉。

鸡？

我可以吃一些鸡肉。

嘿，乔。

是的。我可以买一份三件套、一些

凉拌卷心菜、一些豆子和一杯可乐吗？

健怡可乐。

我不想连续两个晚上和你们一起出去玩

。我很

抱歉。为什么她不想和我们一起出去玩

？

因为她呃她她认为你

是

废话，而且呃你，莫妮卡，呃

太大声了。什么？

什么？

所以，她昨晚只是假装玩得很开心

。她当着

我们的面撒谎。我简直不敢相信这一点。我的意思是，

她是谁来评判我们？我们

对她再好不过了。我不是

废话。我是个傻瓜。

不，来吧。请。请。你们

别生气。我确信她只是

她之所以这么说是因为她

紧张，因为你们就像我最好的

朋友，你知道，这是我们第一次

约会。更何况，她真的病了。

不，你她不，你说那是你编的

。我知道。但你不觉得恶心的

比玩耍的东西要好得多吗？

他们都很好。我通常会在莫妮卡又喝醉的时候去

。

来吧，你们。快点。请。

请再给她一次机会。

啊？她会过来的。我保证。当然

我们会的。快点。我们要做

晚餐。好的。

我不喜欢那个女人。我能听到

你的声音。

我老了。

出了什么问题？我比

这些其他实习生大很多，我不能

与他们竞争。但我发现你比

大一点。试着看看

积极的一面。你这辈子都有

的经历。是的，但我不认为生活

经验会帮助我解决

这些问题。

哇。他们就像着火了。

它们是什么？它们是原型

运动鞋，我必须想出

关于如何销售它们的想法，但我无法

做到这一点，因为没有一个有自尊心的成年人

会穿这些。我会给你

500 美元。

我该怎么处理这些？

来吧。运动鞋很容易。您一直穿着

运动鞋。好吧，首先

，它们不再被称为运动鞋

。显然，它们被称为

踢或打滑。我想我听到

有人说

吸食。在这里，看。他们的

轮子从底部弹出，这样

你就可以滚动，因为显然

步行是太多的

运动。孩子们，孩子们，一路走向

童年

肥胖。你能帮我试着卖掉

这些吗？好的。您是否考虑过使用具有巨大门环的

女孩？

我认为这不是他们想要的东西

。嘿，这对我

有用。

你认为我为什么会买

巴特沃茨夫人？那是什么？毯子？一台

摄像机。我的天啊。

我不敢相信你以为你会

录下我们在

第一次约会时做爱的视频。

乔伊就是她刚才说的。

嗯天啊。天哪，你看。您

实际上是要

这里发生了什么？

钱德勒在隔壁房间。你是什​​么

你得了什么病？

我是

乔伊。我很恶心。

我制作低成本成人电影。

你们答应过会更加小心的。

我的意思是，来吧。乔伊的好名字是

，被拖过这里的泥巴。

我们非常抱歉。是的。好吧，我正在向

所有人介绍您。这是解释内衣和摄像机

。这并不会让我看起来像

的唯一方式

猪。我不知道。好的。

必须有更好的解释。你

可以告诉他们你必须为你的成人电影

成人电影。是的，我喜欢这样。但不，不。

课程制作一部

这如何解释为什么雷切尔在你家发现了

我的内衣？

我不知道。好吧，准备好

走出非同性恋的柜子吧。

嗨。你好。

[音乐]

是你们中哪一位幸运的男孩是

钱德勒？呃，那就是我。

这就是我。

乔伊·特里亚尼。大粉丝。

那么，那是卧室吗？是的。是的。就在

那边。好的。每当您

准备好时。

这很奇怪。

为什么她要进卧室？我正在

等待。

所以，她是一个耶。那是一名裸体

妓女。

所以，今晚是

大型单身派对之夜。是的。嘿，谢谢你

给我那个女孩的电话号码。没有

问题。说吧，聚会是为谁举办的？为了

我的丈夫。你雇了你丈夫一个

妓女？

她是一名脱衣舞娘。不，她是个妓女。

这就是他们有时所说的脱衣舞娘

吗？当他们还是妓女的时候。

天啊，Ste。我简直不敢相信你

竟然这么做了。现在你绝对确定

她是个妓女。要么就是这样，要么

她只是我经历过的最好、最昂贵的约会

。

好吧。好的。也许你

应该请她离开。为什么是我？

嘿，这是你的单身派对，这就是

你应该参加的原因。我不想。

你做到了。你做吧。你做吧。全部

正确。石头、布、剪刀。谁必须

告诉他们离开？

什么？

我想念这个。我认为我们之前

实际上并没有这样做过。

不。我想念和你一起出去玩。好吧，

我们仍然一起出去玩。是的。不像我们

以前那样。记住？你和我曾经

形影不离。不。现在

事情已经不同了。好吧，你

知道，情况有所不同。我现在

结婚了。是的，当然。嘿，不要

误会我的意思。我为你们

感到高兴。但我只是想念只有我们

一起出去玩，你知道。

是的，我也想念那个。我会告诉你

什么。从现在开始，我们会抽出时间

一起出去玩。你明白了。

来这里。

天啊。听着，我差一点就

抢劫你们了。

她是个妓女。她是个妓女。她是

嗨。我们通过电话交谈。那么，

你觉得怎么样？我认为这是我见过的最

漂亮的桌子。我知道。

那么，这是如何工作的呢？想要平衡

这些小家伙头上的盘子吗？

谁在乎？我们会在水槽边吃饭。来吧

。

[掌声]

注意，罗斯。分数。你好烂。

在我的房间里换衣服。我的衣服是

哦。

[音乐]

哇。你看起来没时间。

嘿，伙计。让我进去。我这里有一个女孩

。

嗯，我这里有一个女孩。

不，你不知道。我刚刚看到你和 Monica 一起去

那里。

嗯，我们在

闲逛。我们中的哪一个会

在那里做爱？我还是你？

好吧，我想我不得不说你。

如果我们在这里看电影怎么办？

我们就是这样，并且我们已经支付了

它的费用。这是我的巨人。

我的巨人。我喜欢那部电影。嘿。嘿。

哦，他在哪儿？理查德在哪儿？

你抛弃了他吗？是的，就在我们

偷了他的午餐钱并给了他

婚纱之后。

你怎么了？他正在停车

汽车。你们玩得不开心吗？你的

男朋友太酷了。真的吗？是的。他

让我们驾驶他的捷豹。乔伊 12

块，我 15 块。哇。

他一定最喜欢你。哦，还有

他给带我们入座的人小费

时所做的事情？你

甚至从未见过钱。就像

这样。嘿 Chandler，感谢您带我们

就座。

不客气。嘿乔伊，感谢您

停车。没问题。

嘿，钱德勒，我想他们明白了。好的，

那个人来了。

嘿。嘿。你越来越好了。我

会保留这个。顺便说一句，

他保留了我的美元。我要

搬出去，伙计。

哇。嗯，呃，嘿，真的为你们

感到高兴。恭喜。稍后见。

嘿，乔伊。咀嚼，你还好吗？是的，

我得走了。我有一份演艺工作。

就像，你会相信这一点。

这太糟糕了。听着，我只是要

就在大厅对面，我向你保证

，莫妮卡和我分手的那一刻，

我会立即搬回来和你住在一起。

好吧，看，看，看。呃，如果你

要搬去和他一起住，我觉得

我有责任告诉你

关于他的真相，好吗？他是一个

糟糕的室友。糟糕的。他呃

忘记了，嗯，他总是他总是

呃哦，我的肾。他是有史以来最好的室友

。

好的。我们一直想一起做

什么？互相编辫子，

在海滩上骑马。

不，不，不。当你明天

晚上回家时，你和我将在

奇才尼克斯队的比赛场边。

场边。我的天啊。是的。也许

迈克尔乔丹会扑向球

并用膝盖打破我的下巴。

太酷了。我会让莫妮卡知道的。

你好。乔伊刚刚打来电话。他为我和他

明晚

准备了 场边尼克斯队门票。真的吗？但明天

晚上是我唯一下班的晚上

餐厅。如果你去看比赛，

，那么接下来的

我们就不会再一起过夜了。但是嘿，这是场边。

啦啦队将在

中正确。

这不是说服你的方法，

泰勒。听着，我不想成为

那些说你不能参加

比赛的妻子之一。你必须花时间陪我

。所以，如果你能自己实现

。

我知道你是对的。我也想见

你，

。我只是想办法

告诉乔伊，你知道，他真的很期待

。告诉他你

已经很长时间没有见到你的妻子了。

告诉他，异地恋

真的很难。告诉

他，我们在一起

的时间非常宝贵。

我会想办法的。

那么，你呃找到有人愿意嫁给你

吗？不，但是饥渴的福尔蒙莫妮卡

部长打来电话。

想知道我们是否还

在一起。

我们永远找不到任何人。好吧，

那就让我来吧。乔.不，不，不。

看，我一直在想这个问题。我是

一名演员，对吧？所以，在人们面前讲话时我不会感到紧张

。我不会吐口水

，也不会盯着莫妮卡的

胸部。你知道，每个人都知道我是一个

混蛋。

确实如此。是的。最

重要的是，上面不会有像

这样几乎不认识你的陌生人。

是我，我发誓我会做得很好

。另外，你知道，我爱你们

，这对我来说真的意义重大

。

可能有点酷。那么，我能做到吗？

是的，你能做到。好的。

哦，真的吗？好的。好的。我得

开始我的演讲。哦，等一下。

互联网部长仍然可以发生性行为，

对吗？我可以从这里拿走它。谢谢。

亲爱的

亲爱的，很抱歉我有点

迟到了。现在可能对此感到困惑，但是

你不会是 2002 年阵亡将士纪念日周末。

好吧，让我们在新郎

再次起飞之前开始吧。

啊？今天我们

聚集在这里，与这个

男人和这个女人一起建立神圣的

婚姻。

我认识 Monica 和 Chandler

很长时间了，我无法想象两个

的人更适合彼此

。

现在，由于我已将笔记留在我的

更衣室

，我们将继续宣誓。

莫妮卡，

他起飞了。继续。继续。

钱德勒。很长一段时间以来，我都在想我

是否会找到我的

王子，我的

灵魂伴侣。然后三年前，在

另一场婚礼上，我向朋友

寻求

安慰。相反，我找到了

我一生

一直在寻找的一切。

而

现在在这里

我们的未来摆在

我们面前。我只想和

你一起度过，我的

王子，我的

灵魂伴侣，我的

朋友。除非你不想。

你走吧，

钱德勒。没关系

。莫妮卡，我认为这

将是我

必须

做的最困难的事情。但当我看到你沿着

过道走时，我意识到

是多么简单。我爱你。

我们遇到任何惊喜，

都没关系，因为我会永远爱

你。你是我注定要

共度余生

的人。你想知道我是否

确定吗？现在你可以亲吻新娘了。

所以，我想根据纽约州和

，我现在宣布你们为丈夫和

互联网

赋予我的权力

妻子。哦，

等等。你们互相接纳吗？我愿意。我

愿意。是的，你

会。带来。哦，糟糕。好的。

嗯，我们来打环吧。

我们好吗？是的。好的。

我再次宣布你们为丈夫和

妻子。现在再吻她一次。

街道、树木和

码的大前面，真正的尖桩篱笆。伙计，

那两只狗正在努力。

嘿嘿，你去哪儿了？哦，只是呃，

你知道，环顾四周。但你知道

什么吗？这房子很棒。真的吗？是什么

改变了您的想法？哦，好吧，住在这里的

小女孩让我对整件事感觉好多了

。乔伊，

这里住着一个小女孩，

，但她大约 30 年前就去世了。

什么？我只是在逗你。

这不好笑。你知道吗，我害怕

个小女孩的鬼魂。

Joey，既然你对

的房子感到满意，你想去看看你的房间吗？

什么？我有自己的房间。

你认为我们买房子而不

有一个乔伊的房间，是吗？

天哪。

[音乐]

哦，我可以有一个水族馆和一个性爱

秋千吗？

不。为什么不呢？我会保持水箱清洁。

[音乐]

[英语]

Monica,

what time is it? Uh, 9.

But it's dark out. Um, well, that's

because you always sleep till noon,

silly.

This is what nine looks like.

I guess I'll get washed up then.

Watch that sunrise.

I'm really getting tired of sneaking

around all the time. I know. Me, too.

You know. Hey, you know what? What if we

went away for the whole weekend? You

know, we'd have no interruptions and we

could be naked the entire time. All

weekend. That's a whole lot of naked.

Yeah. I could say that I have a

conference and you can say you have a

chef thing. Oh, I've always wanted to go

to this culinary fair that they have in

Jersey. Okay, you know you're not. Don't

worry.

Let's go. Okay. Wait, what about

[Music]

Joey? Damn Rolos.

Hey, you're back. Hey, how was your

conference? It was terrible. I fought

with my colleagues, you know, the entire

time. Are you kidding with this?

Uh, so your weekend was a total bust.

Uh, no. I got to see Donald Trump

waiting for an

elevator.

Hey. Hey, Mr. Bing. That uh hotel you

stayed at called

said someone left an eyelash curler in

your room.

Yes, that was mine.

Cuz I figured you hooked up with some

girl and she left it there. Yes, that

would have made more

sense. You know, I I don't even feel

like I know you anymore, man. All right.

Look, I'm just going to ask you this one

time. All right, and whatever you say,

I'll believe

you. Were you or were you not on a gay

cruise?

Hey. Hey. Hey. Oh, hey, Monica. I heard

you saw Donald Trump at your convention.

Yeah. So, I'm waiting for an elevator.

Hey, Ra. Can I borrow your eyelash

curler? I think I lost mine. Yeah.

[Applause]

Can I talk to you for a second?

[Music]

Yes.

Yes. You and and you.

Yes. But you cannot tell anyone. No one

knows. How? When?

It happened in London. In London?

The reason we didn't tell anyone was

because we didn't want to make a big

deal out of it. But it is a big deal. I

have to tell someone.

You can't. Please. Please. We just don't

want to deal with telling everyone.

Okay. Just promise you won't tell.

All

right. Man, this is

unbelievable. I mean, it's great, but

I know it's great.

Oh, I don't want to see that.

You guys are so cute. I know.

All right. I'll see you in the morning.

Okay. Okay.

[Music]

You know, I love doing crossword puzzles

with you, honey. Oh, me too. Now, let's

finish this and go to bed. Okay. There's

only one left. threeletter word. Not

dog, but

cat.

Yes. You are so smart.

I love you. I love you, too.

Pass the cheese, please.

My god, you can't even look at me, can

you? Nope.

Hey, it's Phoei. We can talk to Phoebe.

No, I'm I'm too depressed to talk. I'll

give you $1,000 to talk to us.

Hey, you guys. What do you What do you

think about making that beach trip an

annual thing? No.

All right, that's it. You guys, what

happened out there? What? We took a

walk. Nothing happened. I came back, but

nothing all over me.

Come on. What happened, Joey?

All right. No, Joey. We swore we'd never

tell. They'll never understand.

We have to say something. We have to get

it out. It's eating me alive.

Monica got stung by a jellyfish. All

right. All right.

I got

stung. Stung

bad. I couldn't stand. I I couldn't

walk. We were two miles from the

house. We were scared and

alone. We didn't think we could make

it. I was in too much pain. And I was

tired from digging the huge hole.

[Applause]

And then Joey remembered

something. I'd seen this thing on the

Discovery Channel. Wait a minute. I saw

that on the Discovery Channel. Yeah.

About jellyfish and how if

you

either I thought I was going to pass out

from the pain. Anyway, I I tried, but I

I couldn't been that way.

So

[Applause]

that's right. I stepped up.

She's my friend and she needed

help. If I had to, I'd pee on any one of

you.

only uh I

couldn't. I got the stage fright.

I wanted to help, but there was just too

much pressure. So So I uh I turned to

Chandler.

Joy kept screaming at me, "Do it now. Do

it. Do it. Do it now."

Sometimes late at night, I can still

hear the screaming.

That's cuz sometimes I just do it

through my wall to freak you out.

What? I just realized why I remember

this place. Really? What is it? Oh, it's

nothing. I went on a date with a guy who

lived in this building and it didn't end

very well. That wouldn't by any chance

be Joey Tribani. Yes, of course it was.

Yeah, we had a really great night and in

the morning he promised he would call me

and he didn't. Rat bastard.

So, you're not friends with him? Oh,

god. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

Nope. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No.

Well, I'm sorry I brought it up. So, are

either one of you planning on staying at

home?

Hello. Anybody in there? Order a

celebrity.

What was that? Oh, that's just some

crazy guy who roams the halls here.

Hi again.

Hey.

Hey. Thank you so much. Oh, don't thank

me. Thank the jerk that never showed up.

Okay, I got to get to work.

You want some help with that? Oh, no

thanks. I got it. Oh, no I don't.

Whoa. You okay?

Yeahoo. Stood up too fast. Got a little

head rush.

The heat

and and the humidity.

That's a uh that's a tough combination.

[Music]

She's asleep. That means we can uh Yes,

but we have to be fast. Oh, okay. I'll

try. And you can't make any noise. Okay,

I'll try.

[Music]

Hello, Emma.

Hey.

Hi. How are you? How are you? Where are

your babysitters?

Huh? Why is the bedroom door closed?

You can't have sex when you're taking

care of a bie.

Well, that was weird. You were loud and

I was fast.

I think you may have really done it this

time. Oh, why should I have to wage to

take a pregnancy test? May I want to get

some more of those, too?

Where's Emma? Oh my god. Where's Emma?

Where's Emma? Don't ask me. I was in

there canoodling you.

Okay. Okay. I'm sure that Rachel came

home early and picked up Emma. You go

look across the hall and and I'll call

herself. Okay. Hey, you better hope that

we're pregnant because one way or

another, we're giving a baby back to

Rachel. Hey, Monica. We got a question.

All right. For the zillionth time, yes,

I see other women in the shower at the

gym. And no, I don't look.

No, not that one. We're trying to figure

out who to bring to the Knicks game

tonight. We have an extra ticket. Yeah.

Ross can't go. So, it's between my

friend Eric Prower, who has breath

issues. Dan with the poking. Did you see

that play? Do you want some more beer?

Is that Spike Lee? Okay.

Hey, why don't you ask Richard?

Okay. Uh, hey Richard, if you had an

extra ticket to the Knicks

game and you had to choose between a

friend who smelled and one who bruises

you, who would you pick? Wow. Well,

being a huge Knicks fan myself, I think

you should take someone who's a huge

Knicks fan.

Okay, that's Eric.

Glad to be of help. Matches.

I meant why don't you take Richard to

the game?

What?

I don't know. Come on. He keeps his

fingers to himself and he's always minty

fresh.

Rich's really nice and everything. Uh

it's just that we don't know him really

well, you know. And plus he's, you know,

older than some

people, but uh younger than some

buildings. You look cute in bubbles.

Nah, you're just all liquored up.

Hey, it's me coming in.

I've had a very long hard day.

Uh, I'm going to go get some chicken.

You want some? Uh, no thanks. No

chicken. Bye-bye then.

You sure? Some extra crispy dirty rice

beans for the last time. No. Get out.

Get out, Joey. All right.

Are you okay? I'm so sorry. He wouldn't

leave. He kept asking me if I wanted

chicken.

Chicken?

I could eat some chicken.

Hey, Joe.

Yeah. Could I get a threepiece, some

colelaw, and some beans, and a Coke?

Diet Coke.

I don't want to hang out with you guys

two nights in a row. I'm so

sorry. Wh Why does she not want to hang

out with us?

Because she uh she she thinks that you

are

blah and and that uh you, Monica, are uh

too loud. What?

What?

So, she was just pretending to have a

good time last night. She was lying to

our faces. I can't believe this. I mean,

who is she to judge us? We could not

have been nicer to her. And I am not

blah. I am a hoot.

No. Come on. Please. Please. You guys

don't don't be mad. I'm sure she just

she just said that stuff because she was

nervous cuz you guys are like my best

friends, you know, and it was our first

date. Plus, she's really sick.

No, you she No, you said you made that

up. I know. But don't you think the sick

thing is way better than the play thing?

They're both good. I generally just go

with Monica's drunk again.

Come on, you guys. Come on. Please.

Please just give her another chance.

Huh? She'll come around. I promise. Of

course we will. Come on. We got to make

dinner. Okay.

I do not like that woman. I can hear

you.

I'm old.

What's wrong? I am so much older than

these other interns and I can't I can't

compete with them. But I saw you were a

little older. Try to look at the

positive. You have all this life

experience. Yes, but I don't think life

experience is going to help me with

these.

Wow. It's like they're on fire.

What are they? They're these prototype

sneakers and I have to come up with

ideas on how to sell them, which I can't

do because no self-respecting adult

would ever wear these. I'll give you

$500 for them.

What am I supposed to do with these?

Come on. Sneakers are easy. You wear

sneakers all the time. Well, first of

all, they're not called sneakers

anymore. Apparently, they're called

kicks or skids. And I think I heard

somebody say

slurps. Here, look. They got these

wheels that pop out from the bottom so

you can roll around because apparently

walking is too much

exercise. Kids, kids, roll your way to

childhood

obesity. Would you help me try to sell

these? Okay. Have you considered using a

girl with huge knockers?

I don't think that's the kind of thing

they're looking for. Hey, that' work on

me.

Why do you think I'd buy Mrs.

Butterwarts? What is that? A blanket? A

video camera. Oh my god.

I can't believe you thought that you're

gonna videotape us having sex on the

first date.

Joey is what she just said.

Um Oh my god. God, look. You are

actually going to

What is going on here?

And with Chandler in the next room. What

are you What are you sick?

I'm

Joey. I'm disgusting.

I make low-budget adult films.

You guys promised you'd be more careful.

I mean, come on. The good Joey name is

being dragged through the mud here.

We're so sorry. Yeah. Well, I'm telling

everyone about you. That's the only way

to explain the underwear and the video

camera. That doesn't make me look like a

pig. I don't know. All right. There's

got to be a better explanation. And you

could tell them that you had to make an

adult film for your adult film

class. Yeah, I like that. But no, no.

How does that explain why Rachel found

my underwear at your place?

I don't know. Well, get ready to come

out of the non-gay closet.

Hi. Hi.

[Music]

is that which one of you lucky boys is

Chandler? Uh, that that's me.

That's me.

Joey Triani. Big fan.

So, is that a bedroom? Yeah. Yeah. Right

over there. All right. Whenever you're

ready.

That was weird.

Why Why would she go in the bedroom? I'm

waiting.

So, she's a Yep. That's one naked

hooker.

So, tonight's the night of the big

bachelor party. Yeah. Hey, thanks for

giving me that girl's number. No

problem. Say, who's the party for? For

my husband. You hired your husband a

hooker?

She's a stripper. No, she's a hooker.

Is Is that what they call strippers

sometimes? When they're hookers.

Oh my god, Ste. I I can't believe you

did this. Now you're absolutely sure

she's a hooker. It's either that or

she's just the best, most expensive date

I ever had.

All right. All right. Maybe maybe you

should just ask her to leave. Why me?

Hey, it's your bachelor party, which is

why you should do it. I don't want to.

You do it. You do it. You do it. All

right. Rock, paper, scissors. Who has to

tell the to leave?

What?

I miss this. I don't think we've

actually done this before.

No. I I miss hanging out with you. Well,

we we still hang out. Yeah. Not like we

used to. Remember? You and me used to be

inseparable. No. Now it's

like things are different. Well, you

know, things are different. I'm I'm

married now. Yeah, sure. And hey, don't

get me wrong. I am so happy for you

guys. But I just I miss hanging out just

just us, you know.

Yeah, I miss that, too. I'll tell you

what. From now on, we'll make time to

hang out with each other. You got it.

Come here.

Oh god. Listen, I am this close to

robbing you guys.

She's a hooker. She's a hooker. She's a

Hi. We spoke on the phone. So, what do

you think? I think it's the most

beautiful table I've ever seen. I know.

So, how does this work? Going to balance

the plates on these little guys heads?

Who cares? We'll eat at the sink. Come

on.

[Applause]

Heads up, Ross. Score. You suck.

Change in my room. My clothes are

Oh.

[Music]

Wow. You look No time for that.

Hey, dude. Let me in. I got a girl out

here.

Well, I've got a girl in here.

No, you don't. I just saw you go in

there with Monica.

Well, we're we're hanging out in

here. Which one of us is going to be

having sex in there? Me or you?

Well, I suppose I would have to say you.

What if we're watching a movie in here?

Which we are, and we already paid for

it. It's My Giant.

My Giant. I love that movie. Hey. Hey.

Oh, where is he? Where's Richard? Did

you ditch him? Yeah, right after we

stole his lunch money and gave him a

wedgie.

What's the matter with you? He's parking

the car. Don't you guys have fun? Your

boyfriend is so cool. Really? Yeah. He

let us drive his Jaguar. Joey for 12

blocks, me for 15. Wow.

He must like you the best. Oh, and what

about that thing he did when he tipped

the guy who showed us to our seats? You

never even saw the money. It was like

this. Hey Chandler, thanks for showing

us to our seats.

You're welcome. Hey Joey, thanks for

parking the car. No problem.

Hey Chandler, I think they get it. Okay,

there's the man.

Hey. Hey. You're getting better. I'm

going to keep this. By the way,

he kept my dollar. I'm going to be

moving out, man.

Wow. Well, uh, hey, really happy for you

guys. Congratulations. See you later.

Hey, Joey. Chewy, are you okay? Yeah,

I've got to go. I've got an acting job.

Like, you'd believe that.

This sucks. Look, I'm I'm just going to

be right across the hall, and I promise

you, the minute Monica and I break up,

I'm moving right back in with you.

Okay, look, look, look. Uh, if you're

going to be moving in with him, I feel

that it is my responsibility to tell you

the truth about him, okay? He's a

terrible roommate. Terrible. He uh

forgets to um he always he always

uh Oh, my kidney. He's the best roommate

ever.

Okay. What have we always wanted to do

together? Braid each other's hair and

ride horseback on the beach.

No, no, no. When you get home tomorrow

night, you and I are going to be at the

Wizards Knicks game courtside.

Courtside. Oh my god. Yeah. Maybe

Michael Jordan will dive for the ball

and break my jaw with his knee.

That is so cool. I'll let Monica know.

Hello. Joey just called. He's got

courtside Nicks tickets for him and me

tomorrow night. Really? But tomorrow

night's the only night I get off from

the restaurant. If you go to the game,

then we won't have a night together for

another week. But hey, it's courtside.

The cheerleaders are going to be right

in.

That's not the way to convince you,

Taylor. Look, I don't want to be one of

those wives that says you can't go to

the game. You have to spend time with

me. So, if you could just realize it on

your own.

I I know you're right. I want to see

you,

too. I just got to figure out a way to

tell Joey, you know, he's really looking

forward to this. Tell him that you

haven't seen your wife in a long time.

Tell him that having a long-distance

relationship is really difficult. Tell

him that what little time we have

together is is precious.

I'll think of something.

So, did you uh find anyone to marry you

guys there? No, but Horny Formon Monica

Minister called.

Wanting to know if we were still

together.

We're never going to find anybody. Well,

then let me do it. Joe. No, no, no.

Look, I've been thinking about it. I'm

an actor, right? So, I won't get nervous

talking in front of people. I won't spit

and I won't stare at Monica's

breasts. You know, everyone knows I'm an

assman.

That is true. Yeah. And the most

important thing is it won't be some like

stranger up there who barely knows you.

It'll be me and I swear I'll do a really

good job. Plus, you know, I love you

guys and and it would really mean a lot

to me.

Might be kind of cool. So, I can do it?

Yeah, you can do it. All right.

Oh, really? Okay. Okay. I got to get

started on my speech. Oh, wait a minute.

Internet ministers can still have sex,

right? I can take it from here. Thanks.

Dearly

beloved, I'm sorry I'm a little

late. May be confused by this now, but

you won't be Memorial Day weekend 2002.

Well, let's get started before the groom

takes off again.

Huh? We are gathered here

today to join this

man and this woman in the bonds of holy

matrimony.

I've known Monica and Chandler for a

long time, and I cannot imagine two

people more perfect for each

other. And

now, as I've left my notes in my

dressing

room, we shall proceed to the vows.

Monica,

he took off. Go on. Go on.

Chandler. For so long, I I wondered if I

would ever find my

prince, my

soulmate. Then three years ago, at

another wedding, I turned to a friend

for

comfort. And instead, I found everything

that I'd ever been looking for my whole

life.

And

now here we

are with our future before

us. And I only want to spend it with

you, my

prince, my

soulmate, my

friend. Unless you don't want to.

You go,

Chandler. It's

okay. Monica, I thought this was going

to be the most difficult thing I ever

had to

do. But when I saw you walking down that

aisle, I realized how simple it

was. I love you.

Any surprises that come our way, it's

okay because I will always love

you. You are the person I was meant to

spend the rest of my life

with. You want to know if I'm

sure? You may now kiss the bride.

So, I guess by the powers vested in me

by the state of New York and the

internet

guys, I now pronounce you husband and

wife. Oh,

wait. Do you take each other? I do. I

do. Yeah, you

do. Brings. Oh, crap. Okay.

Um, let's do the rings.

We good? Yeah. Good.

Once again, I pronounce you husband and

wife. Now kiss her again.

the street, the trees, and the big front

yards, the actual picket fences. Man,

those two dogs are going at it.

Hey, hey, where you been? Oh, just uh,

you know, looking around. But you know

what? This house is great. Really? What

changed your mind? Oh, well, the little

girl who lives here made me feel a lot

better about the whole thing. Joey,

there was a little girl who lived here,

but she died like 30 years ago.

What? I'm just messing with you.

That's not funny. You know, I'm afraid

of little girl ghosts.

Joey, now that you're okay with the

house, do you want to go see your room?

What? I get my own room.

You don't think we'd buy a house and not

have a Joey room, do you?

Oh my god.

[Music]

Oh, can I have an aquarium and a sex

swing?

No. Why not? I'll keep the tank clean.

[Music]