[dial tone]
00:00
[ ♫ intro theme in background ♫ ]
00:03
[Male employee]
Papa John's...
00:05
[Ethan] Hi,
00:07
Is Pa- Is Papa in the house?
00:07
- Who?
00:10
- Papa?
00:11
- Mmhm.
00:12
- Okay great,
00:13
can I get a sodie pop and a pizza pie please?
00:14
I'm a fan of the Papa.
00:17
And when Papa's in the house, I order sodie pops
00:19
so just one sodie pop.
00:22
[Employee] Yeah, I know but he's not here, you know what I'm saying?
00:25
[intro music stops]
- Wait, Papa's not in the house?
00:27
- No.
00:29
- Oh, shit.
00:30
Wait I thought at the beginning
you said Papa was in the house.
00:32
- No-no-no-no.
00:34
- Aw man, okay I'll call a different store.
00:35
- Alright.
00:38
- Thank you.
00:39
♪ [intro theme] ♪
Wow, Ethan
00:41
♪ [intro theme] ♪
great moves.
00:42
♪ [intro theme] ♪
Keep it up. Proud of you.
00:43
♪
00:44
[keyboard typing sound]
00:45
♪
00:46
[Ethan, imitating Papa John]
Welcome.
00:52
Welcome to Papa's House.
00:53
- Welcome!
00:55
- Today I come to you
bearing great news, my friends.
00:57
We have hit...
01:01
two million subscribers!
- Woo!
01:02
[clapping]
01:04
(shoot your ear to hear)
01:05
[Hila giggles]
01:06
- Ahh, man!
01:08
- Ugh!
01:09
- This stinks, right?
- It stinks!
01:11
- This fu—
01:12
*sniffs*
01:12
[Ethan Klein Cough™: Stench Edition™]
01:13
DUDE!
01:14
[Hila laughs]
01:15
Just a tip guys: if you ever want to
send us a shirt,
01:16
(voice recoils due to stench)
please wash it first.
01:19
[retches]
01:21
- It smells like a working man.
01:23
- Some fuckin' Papa John employee,
God bless you, Papa bless you,
01:25
I appreciate the thought, I mean,
01:28
it's a nice—it's a wonderful gift!
01:29
But maybe...
01:32
It smell—it's got like a cigarette burn
01:33
and it smells like sweat and sewage
01:35
[Ethan Klein Cough™]
01:37
[fist slams on table]
01:38
But, I do think that I—
01:41
First of all,
01:43
I need to put up all the buttons
01:44
because Papa John's is a job
that deserves reverence and respect
01:46
and you need to zip up all the buttons.
01:49
First of all, I feel like this is a glimpse into my future.
01:51
[Hila laughs]
01:54
When this channel fails
and we never reach 3 million,
01:56
this is the job that I'm gonna be working
01:59
- Well don't worry,
02:02
'cause someone sent us this
02:03
- Both of us, dude!
You think you're gonna—
02:05
Dude me and Hila are gonna be Team Papa John!
02:07
- I'll be joining you.
02:09
Papa, if you're watching this,
we have promoted your product tirelessly
02:10
for the last years.
02:13
You owe us a job when all of this falls apart
02:14
and fuckin' Papa, Shatner, Beau!
02:16
You guys owe us.
02:19
Anyway,
someone sent us this uniform,
02:20
and I think it's terrific.
02:23
- Yeah
- But, basically,
02:24
[the violent cough of a thankful Ethan]
02:27
Wash it, please! Next time.
02:29
I feel like I shouldn't have worn this.
02:31
Oh God.
02:34
Now since one million subs,
we've been collecting a lot of fan mail
02:35
and even though we don't put our P.O. Box out,
people, the dedicated people,
02:39
find a way to find it.
02:43
- They find it.
- I don't know how they find it but they find it.
02:44
and they send us the weirdest shit ever.
02:46
Okay, now basically,
02:49
just a couple of days ago this thing arrived.
I'm just gonna show you.
02:51
I don't know what's inside of it.
02:55
I don't know how the fuck we're gonna get it out.
02:56
[the cough of a strong Ethan]
02:59
[the cough of a successful Ethan]
03:00
[Hila laughs]
03:02
[Hila]: Should we be scared?
03:05
- I'm—I'm always scared that somebody's gonna send us anthrax.
03:07
What if this is a huge, elaborate
ploy to get me to breathe anthrax?
03:10
Like I would never suspect it in this...
painting box
03:14
If you guys send me anthrax,
I'm gonna be so pissed, dude!
03:18
I'm gonna get dilapidated,
I'm gonna lose my ability to talk,
03:21
and then I'm gonna end up delivering
Papa John's pizza pies to you guys
03:23
and then you're gonna meme me hard
someone's gonna record me
03:27
coming to the door in my Papa John's suit.
03:29
Did you seriously tell me to open this with a power tool??
03:33
Dude, I can torque like a thousand BPMs!
03:36
[Hila]: This is gonna take forever!
03:39
But here's the thing...
03:41
We're gonna open this last.
03:43
'Cause I'm gonna bait you to watch this whole video
and trust me when I say:
03:45
there's surprises throughout this video,
and if you skip to the end
03:48
you are gonna miss out on SO much.
03:52
So I'm gonna put this to the side...
03:54
Ah, shit!
03:57
Fuck!
03:58
Agh!
03:58
Fuck!
03:59
Shit!
03:59
Well this is probably my favorite item
we're received so far,
04:00
which we call the Beanie King.
04:04
And this—this was really something special.
04:06
I've never seen a beanie of this caliber before;
04:08
it makes me feel more like a man.
04:12
[Hila chuckles]
When I wear this. You know what I mean?
04:14
I'm just gonna wear this just to kinda rock the Papa King
04:16
- So...
- So let's start, Hila! What have we got?
04:19
- We got a drawing of you.
04:21
- REALLY??
04:23
I really like it because I don't ever need to imagine anymore
04:24
what I'll look like as a true broccoli assassin.
04:27
[Hila laughs]
04:30
- So we got this... weed beanie.
04:31
- BLAAAAAAZE!
04:33
That's definitely for you.
04:34
NEXT!
04:36
- Some...
04:37
some kind of hat with a beard.
04:39
- This is a new level of beanie-ness.
04:41
This take the beanie game to the next level.
Let me try it on.
04:43
I feel like there's people in Brooklyn
that walk around with this unironically.
04:47
You know what I mean?
[Hila laughs]
04:51
- It fits you!
04:54
- It feels good.
04:56
The mouth hole really fits naturally
over your face.
04:57
I gotta say, Hila,
you make a pretty handsome guy.
05:00
Like,
05:04
I straight up-
- Thank you.
05:04
I would straight up...
05:05
Pssh. Yeah, dude.
05:06
I would jump the fence for you right now.
05:07
I am both gay and straight for you, Hila.
That's true love, honestly.
05:10
- I appreciate that.
- Hell yeah, dude.
05:14
NEEEEEXT!
05:16
WEW!
05:18
Oh myyyy goood!
05:19
This one truly shocked me when I opened it.
05:22
I'm like a little dying baby!
05:25
[Hila loses hope]
05:27
I look like a little dying baby!
05:28
It's like as if I came out of my...
out of the womb wearing a beanie
05:30
and had a mustache.
05:34
I mean, I appreciate your gift, Kerry,
and that you made it by hand,
05:35
but I can't have this in the same house as me.
05:38
Okay? It's disturbing.
05:41
It freaks me out. When I look at it, I'm scared.
05:43
- I'll keep it next to our bed.
05:46
- I'm gonna wake up next to it and fuckin'
have an existential crisis.
05:47
I'm afraid that when me and Hila have a baby...
05:51
That it's gonna come out
05:54
LIKE THIS.
- oh my god.
05:55
With a beard and a little beanie,
coughing.
05:56
[Hila]: ...yeah that's pretty much it.
06:01
[Ethan Klein Baby Cough™]
06:03
I mean, I don't know what you were trying to say
with this one, dawg.
06:05
Apparently this is like a 200 dollar toothbrush...
a 300 dollar toothbrush
06:08
so I appreciate the gesture,
06:11
but what the fuck's the message?
06:14
Like who would just send you a $300 electric toothbrush?
06:16
What's the— what's the... well—
06:19
Like what am I supposed to take from this?
06:21
Am I supposed to be flattered that you fuckin'
thought of me?
06:23
That you think I need better oral hygiene?
06:26
- This looks pretty serious...
06:28
- That's what I'm saying!
06:30
He's like "Dawg, I'm not gonna send you
ANY electric toothbrush,
06:31
"I'm gonna send you the top-of-the-line one
06:35
"because you need all the help you can get."
06:38
"Trust me."
06:41
I should be using this, by the way.
06:43
To be honest, this is like...
06:45
Oh my god, that's powerful!
06:48
YEE-HOO!!!
06:51
It tickles my lips!
06:52
[blood-curdling scream]
06:53
It's like a mouth vibrator,
seriously, try that.
06:54
I can't use it;
it tickles my lips, it's too strong.
06:58
- Woah.
07:00
Aaah!
07:02
- It tickles the lips!
07:03
It's a lip-tickler!
07:04
- That's crazy.
07:06
- Excuse me, guys I'm just gonna...
07:07
Hila, I'm gonna need a minute to brush my teeth,
you know what I'm saying?
07:09
[Lip Tickler™ vibrating]
07:14
DON'T COME IN, MOM,
07:16
I'M BRUSHING MY TEETH!
07:17
- Okay, next we got a poster.
- This one is fucking crazy.
07:19
Here I'll take one side.
07:23
Oh
07:26
my
07:27
GOD!
07:27
[Hila]: Can you see everything?
07:30
[Ethan]: Okay, well, let's give them a panorama here... start from here
07:32
There we are.
07:36
It's like the Sistine Chapel,
It's like a classic Leonardo da Vinci over here.
07:38
Here I am
07:41
- And then let's move it
07:43
- Oh my God,
07:44
Papa John is God.
07:45
If you guys wanna watch, there's a time lapse video of the guy painting it.
07:48
I'll put the link in the description
07:52
and, uh, check that out.
07:55
Anyway, thank you.
07:56
And now...
07:58
Now
08:00
It's time
08:02
To get back on this fucking thing
08:03
[dramatic build-up music]
08:05
[the cough of a hard-working Ethan]
08:15
[cough]
08:16
Dude, I'm tired
08:17
I just
08:18
It's just one thing
08:18
I mean, I can't
08:19
It's too much to
08:20
- I thought you said you were gonna do it, we gotta open this thing
08:21
[in despair] AWHH, I CAN'T DO IT
08:27
Hila: what are you doing?
08:32
Taking a break, dude
08:34
I need to char- fuel up
08:35
[Ethan groans]
08:37
It's too hard.
08:39
I'm never gonna get in, dude.
08:40
Don't record me.
08:45
You fucking kidding me?
08:56
It's empty
08:58
It's completely empty
09:00
PSYCH!
09:02
OH
09:05
MY
09:06
FUCKING
09:06
GAWD
09:08
OH
09:09
MY
09:10
FUCKING
09:11
GOD
09:12
OH
09:17
MY
09:19
FUCKING
[Hila]: Wow.
09:20
GOD
09:21
[Hila]: This is crazy.
09:23
- This is pretty much, officially, the greatest gift of all time.
09:25
I'm gonna be one of those guys who has a portrait of himself
09:29
over his fireplace, like one of them psychopaths.
[Hila bursts laughing] - Yeah!
09:31
- But I didn't make it.
09:33
[Hila laughs]
09:35
Hoo, my god!
09:36
Who drew— Is this a...
09:38
Is this a Leonardo da Vinci original?
09:39
[Hila laughs]
09:41
Who drew this?
09:43
I'm speechless, Hila.
09:44
I'm so flattered.
09:47
- I feel like we got a serious, like, van Gogh, or something.
09:56
- This is serious art!
- Yeah.
10:00
- I feel like I don't even wanna be on the show any more;
10:02
I'm just gonna cover my face and put this now. This is me.
10:05
Guys, no longer— Ethan is off the show
10:08
It's just a portrait of Ethan now, with a voice.
10:11
This is it.
10:13
This is who I am now.
10:15
So this portrait was drawn by this amazing artist named Vic Harris.
10:17
So the link is in the description; definitely check out ya boy Vic Harris.
10:22
And a big thank you for the g— I think, the greatest gift ever.
- Yeah.
10:26
Yeah.
10:29
It's just amazing.
10:31
Well, thank you, guys, for all the amazing gifts.
10:35
- Yeah.
10:38
- Thank you, guys, for all the thoughtful, kind support.
10:38
Hitting 2 million— I mean, a million was our unattainable dream.
- Yeah.
10:42
- TWO million—
- A million was something we never thought we could achieve.
10:46
- We're like "maybe in five years".
10:49
Y'know what I mean?
10:51
- Yeah.
10:52
- Two million is beyond our wildest dreams.
10:53
And we just honestly can't thank you guys enough for all the love
10:56
and support you guys have always shown us.
11:00
We love our community, and we are just so grateful for you guys.
11:02
Accepting us, inviting us into your life and letting be a part... of your life.
11:06
Because I'm always watching... and I wanna know what you're up to.
11:11
When you're in the shower, when you're in bed, I will always be watching and I want to know.
11:14
- That's weird.
11:19
- It's not weird. I'm just sayin', we're part of their life, Hila, whether you want it or not.
11:20
[knocking on door]
11:24
[Hila]: Uh-oh.
11:25
[in background] (Wow, Ethan, great moves!)
[outro theme plays]
11:26
(Keep it up, proud of you!)
11:29
[Ethan]: Hey, how's it going?
11:32
Thanks, 'preciate ya.
11:36
Papa bless ya.
11:40
Have a good day, Papa bless.
11:42
Say hi to Beau.
11:45
[louder] Say hi to Beau.
11:48
[Pizza deliverer]: Beau?
11:49
- He's in the house.
11:49
- Alright... thank you!
11:51
- Bye.
11:52
[door shuts] [outro theme cuts off]
What?!
11:54
This is what I got?!
11:56
I got a two liter sodie pop, Papa John.
11:58
This— nobody sells this.
12:01
How am I supposed to celebrate with this?
12:04
[disappointing sodie pop thud]
12:06
This is how we celebrate two million, guys.
12:14
You think we're living, like, a very luxurious life.
12:17
Like, wow, two million subs, YouTubers are doing good, like
12:19
wow, everyone assumes we're, like, rich now.
12:22
This is it.
12:24
This is our fuckin' celebration in this shithole.
12:26
Everyone thinks 'Oh, you live in New York; you're rich. Ah, YouTubers'.
12:29
This is our life, guys.
12:32
One peperoncini, some fuckin' heart attack shit schmutz.
12:34
Okay? And one tiny, little, diet fuckin' cola.
12:39
This is my life, guys.
12:42
Wow, we made it, dude! We fucking made it!
12:44
See you guys out on the street. I'll be delivering Papa John pizzas before we hit three million.
12:48
Watch, I'm sure of it.
12:51
Fuck this, dude.
12:53
Man, fuck this. Hila, don't— don't, dude.
12:55
Stop.
12:58
[Hila]: But, we gon' celebrate.
13:01
- Okay, let's do it.
13:05
[outro theme continues]
13:06
♪
13:08
[low-tempo intro theme beat]
13:36
[audience chatter]
13:48
[applause]
13:52
Guys,
13:56
the Chub 'n' Tuck
13:56
is a simple maneuver.
13:59
Okay? It only requires two basic ingredients.
14:01
You got your Chub...
14:04
[wolf-whistle]
14:06
You've got your Tuck.
14:07
Guys, it ba— it's elementary.
14:10
Okay? This is one-on-one here. Now...
14:12
the perfect Chub n' Tuck is mid-waist.
14:14
Waist needs to be...
14:17
[Ethan Klein Cough™]
14:20
...high.
14:22
Now, unfortunately
14:22
not everyone is born with a beautiful Chub 'n' Tuck body
14:28
and sorry to break it— reality to you guys: but hey, life's not fair.
14:31
Okay, Hila, you know what? You fucked that up, okay?
[Hila laughs]
14:35
You gotta work on your mimicking.
- I know, I tried.
14:37
- It's embarrassing.
- I tried.
14:40
- We're trying to sell this shit, like—
14:41
[outro theme plays]
14:42
I mean, just keep working at it, you know? A perfect body takes a lot of work.
14:50
Takes a LOT of work, and a lot of commitment.
14:54
[crickets chirping]
14:57
[Filthy Frank]: You're taking it too far, this is fucking stupid.
15:01
[smack]
15:04
[can clanks]
15:04
[minor Ethan Klein Cough™]
15:08
[calm outro music]
15:09
歌词与翻译
[中文]
[拨号音]
[ ♫ 背景介绍主题 ♫ ]
[男员工]
约翰爸爸的...
[Ethan] 嗨，
爸爸在吗 - 爸爸在家里吗？
- 谁？
- 爸爸？
- 嗯。
- 好吧，太好了，
能给我一杯流行音乐和一块披萨吗？
我是爸爸的粉丝。
当爸爸在家时，我会点苏迪汽水
所以只喝一份苏迪汽水。
[员工] 是的，我知道，但他不在这里，你知道我在说什么吗？
[介绍音乐停止]
- 等等，爸爸不在家里吗？
- 不。
- 哦，该死。
等等，我一开始就这么想
你说爸爸在家里。
- 不不不不。
- 噢，伙计，好吧，我会打电话给另一家商店。
- 好吧。
- 谢谢。
♪ [介绍主题] ♪
哇，伊森
♪[介绍主题]♪
伟大的举动。
♪ [介绍主题] ♪
坚持下去。 为你感到骄傲。
♪
[键盘打字声]
♪
[伊森，模仿约翰爸爸]
欢迎。
欢迎来到爸爸之家。
- 欢迎！
- 今天我来找你
我的朋友们，带来好消息。
我们已经达到...
200 万订阅者！
- 哇！
[鼓掌]
（用耳朵听）
[Hila 咯咯笑]
- 啊，伙计！
- 呃！
- 这很臭，对吧？
- 很臭！
- 这fu—
*嗅闻*
[Ethan Klein Cough™：恶臭版™]
伙计！
[Hila 笑]
给大家一个小建议：如果你想的话
给我们寄一件衬衫，
（由于恶臭而声音回缩）
请先洗一下。
[干呕]
- 闻起来像工人。
- 某个该死的棒约翰员工，
上帝保佑你，爸爸保佑你，
我很欣赏这个想法，我的意思是，
这是一个很好的 - 这是一个很棒的礼物！
但也许...
闻起来像香烟烧焦的味道
闻起来像汗水和污水
[Ethan Klein Cough™]
[拳头猛击桌子]
但是，我确实认为我 —
首先，
我需要把所有按钮都放好
因为棒约翰是一份工作
值得崇敬和尊重
并且您需要拉上所有纽扣。
首先，我觉得这是我对未来的一瞥。
[Hila 笑]
当此通道失败时
我们永远不会达到 300 万，
这就是我要做的工作
- 好吧，别担心，
因为有人给我们发了这个
- 我们俩，伙计！
你认为你会—
老兄，我和海拉将成为约翰爸爸团队！
- 我会加入你。
爸爸，如果你正在看这个，
过去几年我们不知疲倦地推广您的产品
。
当这一切都崩溃时，你欠我们一份工作
还有他妈的爸爸、沙特纳、博！
你们欠我们的。
无论如何，
有人给我们寄了这件制服，
，我认为它很棒。
- 是的
- 但是，基本上，
[感激的伊森剧烈咳嗽]
请洗一下！下次。
我觉得我不应该穿这个。
天啊。
现在已有 100 万订阅者，
我们一直在收集大量粉丝来信
，尽管我们没有把我们的邮政信箱放在上面。盒子出来，
人们，专注的人们，
找到一种方法来找到它。
- 他们找到了。
- 我不知道他们是怎么找到的，但他们找到了。
他们给我们发送了有史以来最奇怪的东西。
好吧，现在基本上，
就在几天前，这东西到了。
我只是要告诉你。
我不知道里面有什么。
我他妈的不知道我们要怎么把它弄出来。
[坚强的伊森的咳嗽]
[成功的伊森的咳嗽]
[海拉笑]
[海拉]：我们应该害怕吗？
- 我——我总是害怕有人会给我们带来炭疽病。
如果这是一个巨大的、复杂的怎么办？
想让我吸入炭疽病？
就像我永远不会怀疑它一样......
绘画盒
如果你们给我发炭疽病，
我会很生气，伙计！
我会变得破败，
我会失去说话的能力，
然后我会交付
约翰爸爸的披萨派送给你们
然后你就会用表情包来模仿我
有人会录下我
穿着约翰爸爸的西装来到门口。
你是认真告诉我用电动工具打开这个的吗？
老兄，我的扭矩可以达到一千 BPM！
[Hila]：这会花很长时间！
但事情是这样的...
我们要最后打开这个。
因为我要引诱你观看整个视频
请相信我：
整个视频充满惊喜，
如果你跳到最后
，你会错过很多东西。
所以我要把它放在一边...
啊，糟糕！
操！
啊！
操！
妈的！
嗯，这可能是我最喜欢的物品
到目前为止，我们已收到
，我们称之为 Beanie King。
而这 — 这确实很特别。
我以前从未见过这种尺寸的无檐小便帽；
这让我感觉更像一个男人。
[海拉轻笑]
当我穿这个的时候。你知道我的意思？
我穿这件衣服只是为了摇滚爸爸国王
- 所以...
- 所以我们开始吧，海拉！ 我们有什么？
- 我们有一张你的画。
- 真的吗？
我真的很喜欢它，因为我不再需要想象
我作为一个真正的西兰花杀手会是什么样子。
[Hila 笑]
- 所以我们得到了这个...杂草无檐小便帽。
- BLAAAAAAZE！
这绝对适合您。
下一个！
- 一些...
某种带胡子的帽子。
- 这是无檐小便帽的新高度。
这将无檐小便帽游戏提升到了一个新的水平。
让我试戴一下。
我感觉有人在布鲁克林
讽刺的是，他们到处走来走去。
你知道我的意思吗？
[Hila 笑]
- 适合你！
- 感觉很好。
嘴孔真的很自然
在你的脸上。
我必须说，海拉，
你是一个非常英俊的小伙子。
就像，
我直接 -
- 谢谢。
我会直接...
嘘。是的，伙计。
我现在就为你跳过栅栏。
对于你来说，我既是同性恋也是异性恋，Hila。
这就是真爱，说实话。
- 我很感激。
- 是的，伙计。
NEEEEEXT！
哇！
哦，太好了！
当我打开它时，这真的让我震惊了。
我就像一个快死的婴儿！
[Hila 失去了希望]
我看起来像一个快死的婴儿！
这就像我从我的...
从子宫里出来就戴着无檐小便帽
，留着小胡子。
我的意思是，我很欣赏你的礼物，Kerry，
你是手工制作的，
，但我不能把它和我放在同一栋房子里。
可以吗？令人不安。
这让我很害怕。当我看到它时，我很害怕。
- 我会把它放在我们的床边。
- 我会在它旁边醒来，他妈的
存在生存危机。
我担心当我和海拉生孩子时...
它会像这样
出来。
- 我的天啊。
留着胡子，戴着小帽子，
咳嗽。
[Hila]：...是的，差不多就是这样。
[Ethan Klein Baby Cough™]
我的意思是，我不知道你想说什么
有了这个，老兄。
显然这就像一把 200 美元的牙刷......
一支 300 美元的牙刷
所以我很欣赏这个举动，
但他妈的信息是什么？
就像谁会给你送一个 300 美元的电动牙刷？
这是什么——这是什么……好吧——
就像我应该从中得到什么？
你他妈的我应该感到受宠若惊吗
想我了吗？
您认为我需要更好的口腔卫生吗？
- 这看起来很严重...
- 这就是我所说的！
他就像“老兄，我不会派你去
任何电动牙刷，
“我会给您发送顶级的
“因为您需要所有可以获得的帮助。”
“相信我。”
顺便说一句，我应该使用这个。
说实话，这就像...
天哪，太强大了！
耶呼！！！
它让我的嘴唇发痒！
[令人毛骨悚然的尖叫]
就像口腔振动器，
认真地，尝试一下。
我无法使用它；
它让我的嘴唇发痒，它太强烈了。
- 哇哦。
啊啊！
- 嘴唇发痒！
真是令人唇齿留香！
- 这太疯狂了。
- 对不起，伙计们，我只是要...
海拉，我需要一分钟刷牙，
你知道我在说什么吗？
[Lip Tickler™ 振动]
妈妈，别进来，
我正在刷牙！
- 好的，接下来我们有一张海报。
- 这个人真是太疯狂了。
在这里我会选择一边。
哦
我的
上帝！
[海拉]：你能看到一切吗？
[Ethan]：好吧，好吧，让我们给他们看一下这里的全景...从这里开始
我们到了。
就像西斯廷教堂，
这里就像经典的达芬奇。
我在这里
- 然后让我们移动它
- 天哪，
约翰爸爸是上帝。
如果你们想看，这里有一个画这幅画的人的延时视频。
我会将链接放在说明中
，然后，呃，检查一下。
无论如何，谢谢你。
现在...
现在
是时候
重新开始这该死的事情
[戏剧性的音乐]
[努力工作的伊森的咳嗽声]
[咳嗽]
伙计，我累了
我只是
这只是一件事
我的意思是，我不能
这太过分了
- 我以为你说过你会这么做，我们必须打开这个东西
[绝望]啊啊，我做不到
海拉：你在做什么？
休息一下，伙计
我需要充电
[伊森呻吟]
这太难了。
我永远也进不去，伙计。
别录我。
你他妈在开玩笑吗？
它是空的
它完全是空的
PSYCH！
哦
我的
他妈的
天哪
哦
我的
他妈的
上帝
哦
我的
他妈的
[海拉]：哇。
上帝
[海拉]：这太疯狂了。
- 从官方角度来看，这几乎是有史以来最伟大的礼物。
我要成为那些拥有自己肖像的人之一
在他的壁炉旁，就像其中一位精神病患者一样。
[海拉大笑] - 是啊！
- 但我没成功。
[Hila 笑]
呼，天啊！
是谁画的——这是……
这是达芬奇的原作吗？
[Hila 笑]
这是谁画的？
我无语了，海拉。
我太受宠若惊了。
- 我觉得我们有一个严肃的，比如梵高之类的。
- 这是严肃的艺术！
- 是的。
- 我觉得我什至不想再参加这个节目了；
我现在要遮住脸并放上这个。这就是我。
伙计们，不再 - 伊森退出节目
现在这只是伊森的肖像，有声音。
就是这样。
这就是现在的我。
所以这幅肖像是由一位名叫维克·哈里斯 (Vic Harris) 的出色艺术家绘制的。
所以链接位于说明中；一定要看看维克·哈里斯（Vic Harris）。
非常感谢您的礼物——我认为这是有史以来最棒的礼物。
- 是的。
是的。
太棒了。
嗯，谢谢你们，谢谢你们送来的所有精美礼物。
- 是的。
- 谢谢你们，伙计们，感谢你们所有周到、友善的支持。
达到 200 万——我的意思是，100 万是我们无法实现的梦想。
- 是的。
- 两百万——
- 一百万是我们从未想过能够实现的。
- 我们说“也许五年后”。
你知道我的意思吗？
- 是的。
- 200 万超出了我们最疯狂的梦想。
老实说，我们非常感谢你们一直以来对我们的爱
和支持。
我们热爱我们的社区，非常感谢你们。
接受我们，邀请我们进入您的生活，并让我们成为您生活的一部分。
因为我一直在注视着...我想知道你在做什么。
当你洗澡时，当你躺在床上时，我会一直看着你，我想知道。
- 这很奇怪。
- 这并不奇怪。我只是说，我们是他们生活的一部分，海拉，不管你愿不愿意。
[敲门]
[海拉]：呃哦。
[背景]（哇，Ethan，动作太棒了！）
[片尾主题播放]
（坚持下去，为你感到骄傲！）
[Ethan]：嘿，怎么样？
谢谢，谢谢。
爸爸保佑你。
祝你有美好的一天，爸爸保佑。
向博问好。
[大声] 向博问好。
[披萨外卖员]：老公？
- 他在房子里。
- 好的...谢谢！
- 再见。
[门关上] [片尾主题中断]
什么？！
这就是我得到的？！
我喝了两升苏迪流行音乐，棒约翰。
这个——没有人卖这个。
我该如何庆祝呢？
[令人失望的 sodie pop thud]
这就是我们庆祝 200 万的方式，伙计们。
你认为我们过着非常奢侈的生活。
哇，有 200 万订阅者，YouTuber 做得很好，
哇，每个人都认为我们现在很富有。
就是这样。
这就是我们在这个狗屎坑里举行的该死的庆祝活动。
每个人都会想‘哦，你住在纽约；你很有钱。啊，YouTubers。
伙计们，这就是我们的生活。
一份peperoncini，一些该死的心脏病发作狗屎。
可以吗？还有一小杯他妈的健怡可乐。
伙计们，这就是我的生活。
哇，我们成功了，伙计！我们他妈的做到了！
街上见。在我们达到 300 万份之前我会送棒约翰披萨。
看吧，我确信这一点。
他妈的，伙计。
伙计，操这个。海拉，别——别，伙计。
停止。
[Hila]：但是，我们要庆祝。
- 好吧，我们开始吧。
[结尾主题继续]
♪
[低速介绍主题节拍]
[观众喋喋不休]
[掌声]
伙计们，
Chub 'n' Tuck
是一个简单的动作。
可以吗？它只需要两种基本成分。
你得到了你的鲢鱼...
[狼哨]
你得到了你的塔克。
伙计们，这很简单。
可以吗？这里是一对一的。现在...
完美的 Chub n' Tuck 是中腰。
腰部需要...
[Ethan Klein Cough™]
...高。
现在，不幸的是
并不是每个人都生来就有美丽的Chub 'n' Tuck身材
很抱歉打破了它——对你们来说是现实：但是嘿，生活是不公平的。
好吧，海拉，你知道吗？你搞砸了，好吗？
[Hila 笑]
你得努力练习你的模仿。
- 我知道，我试过了。
- 很尴尬。
- 我试过。
- 我们正在尝试推销这些东西，例如 —
[片尾主题播放]
我的意思是，继续努力，你知道吗？完美的身材需要付出很多努力。
需要大量的工作和大量的承诺。
[蟋蟀鸣叫]
[肮脏的弗兰克]：你太过分了，这太他妈愚蠢了。
[smack]
[can clanks]
[小调 Ethan Klein Cough™]
[平静的片尾音乐]
[英语]
Show
重点词汇
开始练习
| 词汇 | 含义 |
|---|---|
|
reverence /ˈrɛvərəns/ B2 |
|
|
glimpse /ɡlɪmps/ A2 |
|
|
tireless /ˈtaɪərˌlɛs/ B1 |
|
|
anthrax /ˈænθræks/ B2 |
|
|
dilapidated /dɪˈlæpɪdeɪtɪd/ B2 |
|
|
existential /ˌɛɡzɪˈstɛnʃəl/ C1 |
|
|
hygiene /ˈhaɪdʒiːn/ B1 |
|
|
flattered /ˈflætərd/ A2 |
|
|
gratitude /ˈɡrætɪtud/ B1 |
|
|
thoughtful /ˈθɔːtfʊl/ A2 |
|
|
community /kəˈmjuːnɪti/ A1 |
|
|
grateful /ˈɡreɪtfəl/ A2 |
|
|
commitment /kəˈmɪtmənt/ B1 |
|
重点语法结构
-
I'm a fan of the Papa.
➔ 用 'be' 作为系动词的现在简单时
➔ 这句话使用 'am' ('I am' 的缩写形式) 作为系动词，描述是粉丝的状态。
-
When Papa's in the house, I order sodie pops
➔ 含有 'when' 从句的现在简单时
➔ 这句话使用 'when' 从句，表示在特定条件下习惯性发生的动作。
-
I would straight up... Pssh. Yeah, dude.
➔ 用 'would' 表示的条件语气
➔ 这句话使用 'would' 表示假设或条件性的动作。
-
I'm gonna be so pissed, dude!
➔ 用 'be going to' 表示的将来时
➔ 这句话使用 'be going to' 表示基于现在证据或意图的将来动作。
-
If you guys send me anthrax, I'm gonna be so pissed, dude!
➔ 第一类条件句
➔ 这句话使用 'if' 表示可能发生的条件及其在将来可能的结果。
-
I feel like I shouldn't have worn this.
➔ 用 'should' 表示建议或后悔
➔ 这句话使用 'should' 表示对过去动作的后悔或建议。
-
We have hit... two million subscribers!
➔ 用 'have' 表示的现在完成时
➔ 这句话使用现在完成时描述在过去发生但与现在有关的结果的动作。
-
I'm gonna need a minute to brush my teeth, you know what I'm saying?
➔ 用 'be going to' 表示的将来意图
➔ 这句话使用 'be going to' 表示基于现在决定的将来意图。
-
I appreciate the thought, I mean, it's a nice—it's a wonderful gift!
➔ 使用破折号表示中断或强调
➔ 这句话使用破折号中断句子的流畅性，以强调或澄清。
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