Anti-Hero

♪♪♪

♪ I HAVE THIS THING WHERE I GET OLDER BUT JUST NEVER WISER ♪

♪ MIDNIGHTS BECOME MY AFTERNOONS ♪

♪ WHEN MY DEPRESSION WORKS THE GRAVEYARD SHIFT ♪

♪ ALL OF THE PEOPLE I’VE GHOSTED STAND THERE IN THE ROOM ♪

♪ I SHOULD NOT BE LEFT TO MY OWN

♪ TALE AS OLD AS TIME ♪

♪ I WAKE UP SCREAMING FROM DREAMING ONE DAY I’LL WATCH AS YOU’RE LEAVING ♪

♪ ‘CAUSE YOU GOT TIRED OF MY SCHEMING FOR THE LAST TIME ♪

♪ IT’S ME ♪

♪ HI ♪

♪ I’M THE PROBLEM, IT’S ME ♪

♪ AT TEATIME ♪

♪ EVERYBODY AGREES ♪

♪ I’LL STARE DIRECTLY AT THE SUN BUT NEVER IN THE MIRROR ♪

♪ IT MUST BE EXHAUSTING ALWAYS ROOTING FOR THE ANTI-HERO ♪

♪ SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE EVERYBODY IS A SEXY BABY ♪

♪ AND I’M A MONSTER ON THE HILL ♪

♪ TOO BIG TO HANG OUT ♪

♪ SLOWLY LURCHING TOWARD YOUR FAVORITE CITY ♪

♪ PIERCED THROUGH THE HEART BUT NEVER KILLED ♪

♪ DID YOU HEAR MY COVERT NARCISSISM I DISGUISE AS ♪

♪ ALTRUISM LIKE SOME KIND OF CONGRESSMAN ♪

♪ TALE AS OLD AS TIME ♪

♪ I WAKE UP SCREAMING FROM DREAMING ONE DAY I’LL WATCH AS YOU’RE LEAVING ♪

♪ AND LIFE WILL LOSE ALL ITS MEANING FOR THE LAST TIME ♪

♪ IT’S ME ♪

♪ HI ♪

♪ I’M THE PROBLEM, IT’S ME ♪

♪ AT TEATIME ♪

♪ EVERYBODY AGREES ♪

♪ I’LL STARE DIRECTLY AT THE SUN BUT NEVER IN THE MIRROR ♪

♪ IT MUST BE EXHAUSTING ALWAYS ROOTING FOR THE ANTI-HERO ♪

♪ I HAVE THIS DREAM MY DAUGHTER-IN-LAW KILLS ME FOR THE MONEY ♪

♪ SHE THINKS I LEFT THEM IN THE WILL ♪

♪ THE FAMILY GATHERS ‘ROUND AND READS IT ♪

♪ AND THEN SOMEONE SCREAMS OUT ♪

♪ “SHE’S LAUGHING UP AT US FROM HELL!” ♪

- WHAT?? WHAT DOES IT SAY?

- IT'S THE WORST

- BUT WHO GOT THE BEACH HOUSE!?

- SHE’S HAVING IT TURNED INTO A CAT SANCTUARY

- WHAT!? CATS DON'T EVEN LIKE THE BEACH

- WHAT ABOUT THE REST OF THE ASSETS?

- I FLEW ALL THE WAY HERE FROM IBIZA

- TO MY CHILDREN, I LEAVE 13 CENTS.

- CURSES, SCREAMS OF PROTEST.

- WAIT. WAIT. YOU GUYS.

THERE’S PROBABLY A SECRET ENCODED MESSAGE THAT MEANS SOMETHING ELSE!

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH THAT'S WHAT MOM WOULD ALWAYS DO.

“PS: THERE IS NO SECRET ENCODED MESSAGE THAT MEANS SOMETHING ELSE. LOVE, TAYLOR”

GREAT, WELL GOOD JOB CHAD. YOU FINALLY PUSHED IT TOO FAR.

WHAT ARE YOU IMPLYING BY THAT?

I THINK SHE'S IMPLYING THAT YOU HAVEN'T HESITATED TO TRADE ON MOM'S NAME

EXCUSE ME ?

UMMM, DO YOU NOT REMEMBER YOUR BOOK ‘GROWING UP SWIFT’

AND YOUR STUPID PODCAST 'LIFE COMES AT YOU SWIFTLY'

WHICH I'M PRETTY SURE YOU ARE RECORDING FOR ON YOUR PHONE RIGHT NOW

CHAD, COME ON! AT HER FUNERAL CHAD

OKAY WELL WHY DON'T YOU GO CRY ABOUT IT AT THE COUNTRY CLUB

THAT YOU NAME DROPPED MOM TO GET INTO, PRESTON.

AND KIMBER YOU ARE LITERALLY WEARING HER CLOTHES RIGHT NOW.

NO, I'M NOT.

THAT’S FROM THE FEARLESS TOUR, 2009.

OKAY, WELL YOU KNOW WHAT, WE WERE VERY, VERY CLOSE. I MISS HER.

THEY WERE SO CLOSE.

OKAY, I'M JUST GONNA SAY IT, I THINK SHE KILLED HER.

YOU’VE GONE TOO FAR.

KIMBER WAS THE LAST ONE WITH HER!! SHE DIDN’T FALL OFF THAT BALCONY!! SHE WAS PUSHED.

NOOOO!!! YOU MONSTER!!!

♪ IT’S ME ♪

♪ HI ♪

♪ I’M THE PROBLEM, IT’S ME ♪

♪ IT’S ME ♪

♪ HI ♪

♪ I’M THE PROBLEM, IT’S ME ♪

♪ IT’S ME ♪

♪ HI ♪

♪ EVERYBODY AGREES ♪

♪ EVERYBODY AGREES ♪

♪ IT’S ME ♪

♪ HI ♪

♪ I’M THE PROBLEM, IT’S ME ♪

♪ AT TEATIME ♪

♪ EVERYBODY AGREES ♪

♪ I’LL STARE DIRECTLY AT THE SUN BUT NEVER IN THE MIRROR ♪

♪ IT MUST BE EXHAUSTING ALWAYS ROOTING FOR THE ANTI-HERO ♪