我也曾經想過這樣殺了我自己 – Bilingual Lyrics Chinese/English

• By: 南西肯恩

Lyrics & Translation

Discover the powerful emotions of 'I Once Thought of Killing Myself This Way' by Neci Ken, a song that delves into the complexities of self-identity. For language learners, this track offers a unique opportunity to engage with rich, metaphorical lyrics that express deep feelings of struggle and introspection. The song's clear narrative and emotional depth make it a compelling way to learn vocabulary related to identity, conformity, and self-acceptance, all while experiencing a beautiful piece of modern Taiwanese folk-pop.

[English]

Too many processes, an empty notebook

Left with only unreadable traces of how I got here, tear-stained light seeping through

I’m mocking this miserable life script

No one sings of what’s happened, no one remembers—no glory, only sacrifice

It’s my cowardice, my cowardice

I began to load false kindness into a fake gun

In a virtual world, aiming at feigned weakness

Thinking I’ve hidden it so well

Seeing discarded flowers as a momentary beauty

Praying someone in this world will bury them

Just like me, just like me

I’ve also thought of ending myself this way

Longing to no longer endure more humiliation

I’ve also thought of ending myself this way

Leaving all joy and sorrow right where they are

I’ve also thought of ending myself this way

Knowing it’s not easy, yet rehearsing it in my mind repeatedly

I’ve also thought of ending myself this way

But, I still don’t have the courage

Is this the outcome you wanted? Do you like it?

Is this the smile you love? Is it beautiful?

Living the way you wanted, are you satisfied?

Will you regret it? No, you won’t, right?

Is this the outcome you wanted? Do you like it?

Is this the smile you love? Is it beautiful?

Living the way you wanted, are you satisfied?

Are you crying? Cry out loud!

Is this the outcome you wanted? Do you like it?

Is this the smile you love? Is it beautiful?

Living the way you wanted, are you satisfied?

Will you regret it? No, you won’t, right?

Is this the outcome you wanted? Do you like it?

Is this the smile you love? Is it beautiful?

In the end, everyone becomes the same

Just like me

[Chinese]

太多的過程 空白的筆記本

留下的只有猜不透怎麼走到這 透光被浸濕的淚痕

我在嘲笑著 悲慘人生劇本

發生的沒人高歌 沒人記得 沒有壯烈 只有犧牲

是我太懦弱 是我太懦弱

我開始將 虛偽的善良上膛虛假的槍

在虛擬的世界 射向虛弱偽裝

以為自己藏得多好

視丟棄的花 為此刻的漂亮

祈禱著這世界會有人將它埋葬

就像我一樣 一樣

我也曾經想過這樣殺了我自己

渴望不用再接受更多的委屈

我也曾經想過這樣殺了我自己

所有快樂悲傷都將擱在原地

我也曾經想過這樣殺了我自己

知道這不太容易 也在腦海裡反覆練習

我也曾經想過這樣殺了我自己

但是呢 我還是沒有勇氣

這是你們要的結果 喜歡嗎

這是你們愛的笑容 好看嗎

活成你們要的樣子 滿意嗎

你會遺憾嗎 不會遺憾吧

這是你們要的結果 喜歡嗎

這是你們愛的笑容 好看嗎

活成你們要的樣子 滿意嗎

你在哭泣嗎 大聲哭出來啊

這是你們要的結果 喜歡嗎

這是你們愛的笑容 好看嗎

活成你們要的樣子 滿意嗎

你會遺憾嗎 不會遺憾吧

這是你們要的結果 喜歡嗎

這是你們愛的笑容 好看嗎

最後所有的人都成了一個樣

就像我一樣

Key Vocabulary

Vocabulary	Meanings
懦弱 /ˈkaʊədlɪ/ B1	adjective - cowardly; lacking courage
虛偽 /fɔːl/ A2	adjective - false; fake
善良 /kaɪnd/ A1	adjective - kind; good‑natured
虛擬 /ˈvɜːrtʃuəl/ B2	adjective - virtual; simulated
虛弱 /wiːk/ A2	adjective - weak; frail
偽裝 /dɪˈsɡaɪz/ B1	verb - to disguise; to conceal one's true nature
犧牲 /ˈsækrɪfaɪs/ B2	noun - sacrifice; something given up for a greater purpose verb - to sacrifice; to give up
悲慘 /ˈtrædʒɪk/ B2	adjective - tragic; extremely sad
人生 /laɪf/ A1	noun - life; human existence
劇本 /skrɪpt/ B1	noun - script; a written dramatic work
死亡 /dɪe/ A1	verb - to die; to cease living noun - death
渴望 /dɪˈzaɪər/ B1	verb - to long for; to desire strongly noun - longing; desire
委屈 /rɪˈɡriːt/ B2	noun - grievance; feeling of being wronged
勇氣 /ˈkʌrɪdʒ/ B1	noun - courage; bravery
結果 /rɪˈzʌlt/ A2	noun - result; outcome
笑容 /smaɪl/ A1	noun - smile; facial expression showing happiness
遺憾 /rɪˈɡrɛt/ B1	noun - regret; feeling of sadness about something that has happened
快樂 /ˈhæpɪnəs/ A2	noun - happiness; joy
悲傷 /ˈsɒd.nəs/ A2	noun - sadness; sorrow

Key Grammar Structures

• 太多的過程 空白的筆記本

  ➔ Adjective + 的 + Noun

  ➔ The structure '太多的過程' uses '的' to modify the noun '過程' with the adjective '太多', indicating 'too many processes'.

• 留下的只有猜不透怎麼走到這

  ➔ Only + Noun + 只有

  ➔ '留下的只有' emphasizes that the only thing left is the incomprehensible journey, using '只有' to stress exclusivity.

• 我在嘲笑著 悲慘人生劇本

  ➔ Verb + 著 + Object

  ➔ '嘲笑著' uses the continuous aspect marker '著' to indicate an ongoing action of mocking the tragic life script.

• 是我太懦弱 是我太懦弱

  ➔ Topic + 是 + Subject

  ➔ The sentence uses '是' to emphasize the topic '我太懦弱', repeating it for added stress and emphasis.

• 我也曾經想過這樣殺了我自己

  ➔ 也 + 曾經 + Verb

  ➔ '也曾經' indicates that the speaker, too, once thought about something, adding a sense of shared experience.

• 但是呢 我還是沒有勇氣

  ➔ 但是 + 呢 + Sentence

  ➔ '但是呢' is used to introduce a contrasting statement, adding a conversational tone to the sentence.

• 活成你們要的樣子 滿意嗎

  ➔ Verb + 成 + Noun + 的 + Noun

  ➔ '活成你們要的樣子' uses '成' to indicate becoming the kind of person others want, with '的' modifying the noun.