– 英语/中文 双语歌词

歌词与翻译

[中文]

伙计们，我想让你们认识一个人

。

>> 等等，等等。那是什么？

>> 那是马塞尔。你想打个招呼

吗？

>> 不，不，我不。

>> 哦，他很珍贵。你从哪里找到

他的？

>> 我的朋友 Bethl 从

实验室救了他。

>> 这太残酷了。为什么？为什么

家长会给他们的孩子命名 Bethl？

[笑声]

嘿，那只猴子的

屁股上有一个罗斯。

>> Ros，他会像

一样和你一起住在你的公寓里吗？

>> 是的。我的意思是，自从卡罗尔离开后，这里一直很安静

。那么，

>> 你为什么不找个室友呢？

>> 呃，我不知道。我认为您已达到

特定年龄。有一个室友只是

有点可悲。

呃，抱歉，这太可悲了。

>> 天哪，瑞秋，你还好吗？

保罗在哪里？

>> 罗马混蛋错过了航班，然后

你的脸爆炸了。

>> 不。

好吧，我在机场准备

一辆出租车，这时这个女人，这个带着钱包的金发

星球，[笑声]

开始对我大喊大叫，说

首先是她的出租车，然后是我知道的下一个

事情，她刚刚开始

抓住我的头发把我拉出来，你知道，并且

然后吹响我的进攻哨子

，然后又出现了三个摄像头。

当我要上出租车时，她

打倒了我，我把头靠在路边

上，口哨割破了我的嘴唇。

[笑声]

大家在聚会上玩得开心吗？

[笑声]

>> 人们在吃我的蘸酱吗？

>>嗨。

>> 嗨，我是桑迪。

>> 桑迪。你好。进来吧。

>> [笑声]

>> 你带了你的孩子。

>> 是的，没关系。正确的。

>> 你知道，当我上周在商店

见到你时，这可能是我第一次

在心里脱掉小精灵的衣服。

>> 哇。那太脏了。

>> 是的。

嘿孩子们，

>> 我们正处于一场虚拟的暴风雪中 [欢呼]

的五彩纸屑。它变得

更大更好。

>> 孩子们，加油。

然后孔雀咬了我。 [笑声]

请在午夜吻我。

[笑声]

>> 你看到桑迪了吗？呃，我不知道如何

告诉你这个，但是呃，她在 Monica 的

卧室里和 Max 相处，那个

科学家极客。

>> 哦，看看那个。我不知道如何

告诉你。 [笑声]

>> 大家，球掉下来了。

>> 什么？ [笑声]

>> 球在滴水。

[笑声]

>> 已经是午夜了。

>> 欢乐的时刻即将来临。

>> 看起来鼻子约会包的事情

成功了。

每个人看起来都很高兴。我讨厌那样。

>> 并不是每个人都高兴。

>> 嘿，鲍比。

>> 你知道，我呃只是想把

扔到这里。我不是数学奇才，但我确实

相信这里有三个女孩和三个

男孩。

>> 嗯。

>> 哦，今晚我不想亲吻任何人

。

我不能亲吻任何人。所以，我要亲吻

每个人。

>> 不，不，不。你不能亲吻罗斯。那是

你的兄弟。

>> 哦，是的。

>> 嗯，完美。完美的。所以，现在

除了我之外，每个人都得到了一个吻。全部

正确。有人吻我吧

>> 有人吻我。现在是午夜。

有人让有人吻我。现在是

午夜。这是一场游戏。

>> 嘿。嘿。

>> 嘿。

>> 嘿。你们今年拿了多少

超级？

>> 是的，我们本来打算捐出 50 块，但如果

你们捐得更多，我们不想

看起来很糟糕。哦，实际上今年我们刚刚

给他做了自制饼干。

>> 是 25。

>> 你给了他饼干。

>> 金钱是如此客观。

>> Cookie 表明有人真正关心。

>> 好吧，我们破产了，但 cookies 确实

这么说。

>> 我可以看到这一点。一盘布朗尼曾经

告诉了我一则打油诗。

[笑声]

>> 皮特，让我问你一件事。是

这些呃有趣的布朗尼蛋糕？

不特别，

>> 但你知道吗？我认为他们里面有罐

。

>> 那么，你们还给了谁

饼干小费？

>> 呃，邮递员。超级哦，还有

报纸送货员。

>> 天啊。

>> 什么？

>> 我认为您不会喜欢这个。

>> 天哪。哦，

体育部分有一块饼干被砸碎了。

哦，看。他还帮我做了填字游戏

。

>> 是的，但不是很好。除非格什温音乐剧中的 14

实际上是 Bite

Me，Bite Me，Bite Me，Bite Me。

>> 嘿。

>> 嘿。

>> 嘿，雷。我呃给你带了件小礼物。

>> 我将打开它。

这是一个弹簧。

还记得吗？啊？对于下楼散步，

独行者会造成损害。每个人都知道这只是一个大弹簧

。 [笑声]

好吧。你还在生我的气

，因为

>>一系列可怕而有辱人格的理由

不和我在一起？

>> 从现在起我们就称其为

不幸事件怎么样？

[笑声]

>> 嘿 Gunther，你的

地方有楼梯吗？

>> 是的。

>> 是的。发疯吧。我们开始吧。

>> 嘿伙计们。

>> 嘿。

>> 嘿。

>> 包里有什么？我只是一些礼物。

>> 来吧，给我们看看你买了什么。

>> 你知道你想要。

>> 好的。

好的。这是 Ben

送给我父母的相框。

>> 我给

苏珊和卡罗尔买了一些呃她的和她的毛巾。

>> 呃，我给妈妈买了这件衬衫。

>> 老板，太漂亮了。看看这些

枚真实的假奖牌。我

>> 告诉你，妈妈将在马克埃利夫军事学院

。

被评选为最佳穿着

>> 嘿。

>> 嘿。嘿。

>> 平安夜快乐。前夕。你也

>>。

>> 天啊。你从哪里得到这个？

>> 呃梅西百货三楼的家居摆设。

>> 这是我的父亲。这是

我爸爸的照片。

>> 好的。这条路已经通了所以，这是

。 [笑声]

>> 你刚刚打破了散热器吗？

>> 不，不。我正在转动旋钮，

就在这里。

>> 好吧，把它放回去。

>> 呃，它不会再回去了。

>> 在这里调用超级。让我试试。

>>哦。哦，是这样。我忘记了

你熔化金属的能力。

嘿，这是滑稽的表弟。不好笑。你好，

特里格先生。大家好，我是楼上

的 Rachel Green。是的，有人呃坏了我们散热器上的

旋钮，这里真的

很热。

是的，现在已经足够热了，可以烘烤

饼干。 [笑声]

好吧，好吧，你认为我们可以在 6 年前推出一个

新的吗？

什么？不，不，星期二？我们等不及

直到星期二。今晚我们要举办派对

。

>> 好的。给男人小费。

>> 不。如果他不喜欢我们的饼干，那也不好

。我不会被勒索。

看，如果最坏的情况变得更糟，它会变得

有点温暖。我们将其称为主题

派对。

>> 嘿，这是一个主题。进来吧。像培根一样生活

。

[笑声]

>> 嗨。欢迎来到我们的热带圣诞

派对。你把外套和毛衣

以及裤子和衬衫放在卧室里。

很难说，因为我在出汗，

但我完全按照凝胶瓶上的说明使用

。 [笑声]

>> 大约小便大小的量。

这怎么可能太多了？

>> 冰。

冰。冰块。有人拿餐巾纸吗？

好吧。

>>莫妮卡。莫妮卡。莫妮卡。你的客人

变得神经兮兮。好的。这真的

我绝对很舒服。嘿，嘿，

嘿，排队吧，伙计。我是下一个。

>> 当您稍后有时间时，我想让

向您展示为什么我们不只是将

蜘蛛困在咖啡杯下，然后将它们

留在那里。

[笑声]

>> 我正在接受培训，以便在

我讨厌的工作上做得更好。我的生活正式很糟糕。

>> 但是 Ra，这不是应该是

临时的事情？我以为你想

做时尚的事情。

>> 嗯，是的。我仍在追求这一点。

您具体是如何实现这一目标的？你

知道，除了发送简历

就像呃，两年前？

>> 嗯，我也发出了

好的想法。

>> 如果你问我，只要你得到了这份

工作，就没有什么理由促使你去寻找另一份

工作。你需要恐惧。

>> 恐惧。

>> 他是对的。如果您辞掉这份工作，您

就会有动力去追求

您真正想要的工作。好吧，那为什么

你还在从事你讨厌的工作呢？我

的意思是，你为什么不放弃并承受

恐惧呢？ [笑声]

>> 因为我太害怕了。

>> 我不知道。我的意思是，我愿意付出

任何东西来为设计师（你

知道）或买家工作。

我只是不想到了 30 岁了还

在这里工作。

>> 是的，这比 28

仍然在这里工作要糟糕得多。 [笑声]

>> 雷切尔。

>> 是的。

>> 提醒我和您一起回顾一下

哪个锅是开盖的，哪个是常规的。

>> [笑声]

>> 我不能只看

上的手柄吗？

>> 你可能会想。

[笑声]

>> 好吧，好吧。冈瑟，你知道吗？我是

一个糟糕的女服务员。你知道为什么我

是一个糟糕的女服务员吗？因为我不在乎

。我不在乎。我不在乎哪个

锅是普通锅，哪个锅是无咖啡因的。我

不在乎托盘位置在哪里。我

只是不在乎。这不是我想要

做的。

>> 所以，我认为我不应该再这样做

。我

>> 将向您发出一周的通知。

>> 什么？

>> 冈瑟。我不干了。

>> 这是否意味着我们必须

开始为咖啡付费？

>> 嘿。

>> 嘿。你在干什么？

>> 好吧，我对你

所说的话想了很多，嗯，我意识到了。也许

我有点评判。

>> 是的。哦，但是嗯

>> 现在菲比，记住，嘿，他们只是

履行他们的圣诞节

>> 命运。当然。

>> 是的。

>> 好的。

哎呀。那看起来不太

满足。

>> 哦，那是，呃，这是旧的

之一。他只是把它带到后面。

>> 你把旧的放在后面。

>> 真是太支持了。

>> 但我们必须为新鲜的

腾出空间。

>> 那么，老家伙们怎么样了？好吧，

他们进入削片机。

>> 嗯，我有一种感觉，

并不像听起来那么快乐。

[笑声]

嘿嘿嘿。

>> 好的。呃，这是一件道格拉斯

毛皮。现在，钱多了一点，但

你会得到更好的气味。

[笑声]

>> 看起来不错。我要买它。

>> 等等，等等，等等，等等，等等。不，不。

你不想要那个。不，你可以

拥有这款炫酷的棕色。

>> 它它它快死了。

>> 好吧，但这就是为什么你必须购买它

，这样它才能实现它的圣诞节

命运。否则，他们会把

扔进削片机。告诉他们，

乔伊。

>> 是的，呃，那些没有实现

圣诞节命运的树被扔进了

削片机中。

[笑声]

我

>> 我想我要再看看

一点。

偷看，你不能再这样做了。我在这里

赚取佣金。

>> 嘿伙计们，我是来挑选我的

圣诞树的。

>> 好吧，别再犹豫了。这是你的。

>> 这是我去年

年扔掉的那个吗？

>> 好吧。你知道吗？没关系。

每个人都想拥有一辆绿色的。

抱歉。对不起。我并不是故意让

如此情绪化。我想只是

假期很难过。

>> 哦，亲爱的。那是因为你妈妈在圣诞节前后去世了

吗？

>> 哦，我什至没有想到这一点。

>> 哦，

[音乐]

呵呵。看到醉酒的圣诞老人弄湿了自己

真的让我的圣诞节充满了活力。

[笑声]

天哪。

>> 圣诞快乐。

>> 你们。天哪，你是最棒的。

>> 这就像活死人之夜

圣诞树。

>> 你好。

是的，这就是她。

你在开玩笑吧。你开玩笑吧。噢，

谢谢你。我爱你。

>> 当然。每个人都爱孩子。 [笑声]

我得到了这份工作。

>> 愿上帝保佑我们每个人。

>> 嘿。

>>嗨。

>> 抱歉我迟到了。我错过了什么吗？

>> 乔伊往嘴里塞了 15 块奥利奥。

>> 15？你个人最好的。 [笑声]

>> 那么，你在哪里？

>> 哦，约会。是的。是的，我在去北部博物馆

女孩。

的火车上遇到了这个

>> 哦，是的。你是怎么认识她的？

>> 博物馆。

>> 不，回答他的。

>> 好的。火车后面只有我和她

，我坐在靠近门的位置，所以

如果她想要

换车，她就必须经过我。她完全听凭我的

摆布。

>> 你这么晚是因为

埋葬这个女人吗？

>> 好吧，我现在要回来了，因为她

住在 Pikipsy。她看起来确实

很棒，但距离她还有

2又1/2小时。好吧，如果

她来自 Pikipsy，她怎么能伟大呢？ [笑声]

>> 好吧，这个笑话在

奥尔巴尼会被杀掉。 [笑声]

>> 完成。我[哼哼]做到了。啊？现在谁

傻？啊？

>> 嘿，看看这个。今晚他们将点亮

大圣诞树。

>> 嗯，那篇论文已经两周了。

>> 好吧。谁总是把

旧报纸扔进垃圾桶？

我真的很想带凯西去看这个。我

不敢相信我错过了它。

>> 嘿，你知道，至少你有

个可以一起想念这些东西的人。讨厌每年这个时候

独自一人。接下来

你知道的事情，那就是情人节

，然后是我的生日，然后砰的一声，在

你知道之前，他们又点燃了那该死的

树。

我想要一个人，

你知道吗？我想要一个男人。

[笑声]

我的意思是，它甚至不必是很大的

关系，你知道。就像

的狂欢会很棒。

>> 真的吗？我不认为女孩只是

想要纵情狂欢。

>> 好吧，让我告诉你一些事情。

自从我被抛弃以来已经有很长一段时间了。

>> 好吧，我知道

圣诞节我要送什么给你。

[笑声]

>> 你知道吗？我的办公室里有一些好人

。你要我给你安排吗？

>> 是的。

>> 等一下。

我单身已经很长时间了。为什么你之前

从未提供过这个？

>> 好吧，我有女朋友了。我很

很高兴。

所以，我不再觉得有必要以

的方式去阻止别人

快乐。

[笑声]

>> 好的。没有会计师。哦，没有人

是合法的。我不喜欢做

无聊工作的人。

>> 哦，罗斯是什么样的？狮子

驯兽师。

>> 这不适合你们。 [笑声]

>> 什么？

[笑声]

我和自己打赌，你有

美丽的眼睛。现在我看到他们了，我

赢了。

>> 什么？

>> 我们到了我的站。但是你想

喝咖啡吗？

>> 我们真的在蒙特利尔吗？

>> 是的，我们是。那么，咖啡。

>> 咖啡听起来很棒。

等等，那么你住在蒙特利尔吗？

>> 哦，不，但这只需两小时的渡轮

车程即可到达新斯科舍省。

>> 坐在圣诞老人的腿上。让他给我的朋友

带来各种垃圾。

说你只需要给他们写一首

歌曲。现在你还没听​​过，所以

不要尝试跟着唱。

不要跟着唱。

莫妮卡，

莫妮卡，

光明节快乐。

[笑声]

看到圣诞老人[唱歌]克劳斯。他向罗斯打招呼

。

[笑声]

还有

乔伊

圣诞节将是

瑞秋和钱德勒。

祝大家节日快乐。

>> 你在做什么？我呃重组了

冰箱。请参阅呃底层货架肉类和

乳制品、中层货架水果和

蔬菜、

和顶层货架过期产品。

[笑声]

>> 你为什么要这样做？

>> 因为我很无聊。从我的脑海中消失了。我已经

去过银行、

邮局和干洗店。

>> 老兄，你刚刚描述了 7 天的

内容。 [笑声]

>> 你必须把它分散一点，你

知道。你没有失业过吗？

>> 嘿，我没有失业。我正在讨论

。

>> 嘿，别对我抱有宗教信仰，好吗？

[笑声]

处于你这个位置的人需要

更擅长放松，你知道。

什么？您认为我们为什么拥有

张舒适的椅子？啊？看，来这里

。坐下。

准备好了吗？手表。

然后

>> 那又怎样？我们只是坐着。哦，不。不。我们

不会只是坐着。手表。

>> 你好，钱德勒·宾。

>> 你好，冰先生。 [笑声]

我爱你。

>> 好吧，不管这是谁，别再给我打电话

了。 [笑声]

>> 已经 6 个月了。这不好笑。

但我爱你。

>> 别管我。看在上帝的份上，

别打扰我。 [笑声]

>> 那是星期三。

>>上帝。好吧，你们。这是丹尼。

观看。看看这个。

看到了吗？仍然假装他不

感兴趣。

[笑声]

好的，他过来了。假装

就好像我们不认识他一样。我们忘记了

他是谁。

>> 嘿伙计们。嘿。

[笑声]

哦，丹尼。

哦，

>> 丹尼，你知道瑞秋，你知道，她

她很好。她看起来不错，

，对吧？

>> 谢谢，妈妈。

>> 当然。

>> 你想和

她出去约会吗，莫妮卡？

[清喉咙]

>> AB：

>> 绝对。是星期五。好的。 [笑声]

>> 星期五是完美的。她等不及

>> 约会了。我可以直接与

她交谈，对吗？ [笑声]

超级。

>> 好的。那到底是什么？你知道

什么吗？别回答我。

>> 我和丹尼有个约会。

>> 你好，圣诞快乐。噢，谢谢

你，先生。这里有一些快乐。

>> 嘿，想看看进展如何吗？嗯，

一切顺利。哦，很好。在这里，让我

帮助你。哦，谢谢。是的。哇。

这是一件新的绒面革夹克吗？看起来

真的很贵。

[笑声]

是的，我想。

简单做一下指甲吧。

>> 是的，宝贝。但这就是我所拥有的一切。好的。

好的。谢谢。节日快乐。这是

你的快乐。谢谢。

>> 谢谢。节日快乐。等等，但是

你不能把钱取出来。

>> 我正在做出改变。我需要换乘

巴士。

>> 但是你不能离开美元吗？这

钱是给穷人的。

>> 我很穷。我得坐公共汽车。

>> 好的。节日的问候和一切，

但仍然如此。

>> 咬我吧，金发女郎。

>> 哦，除了快乐之外，我还要给他一些东西

。只是

>> 哦，这太好了。你必须尝试

。

[笑声]

[笑声]

>> 哦。妈的，我把它弄到裤子上了。

>> 给，我去拿。

[笑声]

>> 我们最好把这些从楼上拿下来，否则

污渍就会凝固。

>> 是的，我想在今晚的

约会中穿这条裤子。

>> 哦，太棒了。 [笑声]

>> 嘿，再见。

>> 天啊。

>> 这太令人难以置信了。好吧，你看，我已经告诉你了

。

>> 是的。哇。对不起，拉。

>> 我不相信他们是兄弟和

姐妹。他们是兄弟姐妹。

>> 这是典型的纽约市公寓。

两个女孩正在闲逛。

>>嗨。你好吗，凯莉？

>> 我做得很好。天哪，蒂芙尼，你

闻起来真香。 [笑声]

>> 这是我的新香水。为什么不

走近一点，真正欣赏

它呢？

[笑声]

>> 哦，你知道，乔伊，你病了。这

太恶心了。纳兹。

>> 等等，等等，等等，等等。英俊的男人

正要进来。

>> 我问你，为什么现在大家都用

这些小灯？我

记得人们曾经使用大

灯。

>> 这是一个好故事，爷爷。

[笑声]

>> 嘿。

>> 嘿。

>> 哇。莫妮卡让其他人帮助

装饰她的圣诞树。有人又把她

灌醉了吗？

>> [笑声]

>> 拥有一棵装饰完美的圣诞树并不是

圣诞节的意义所在。这是关于

和你爱的人在一起。

>> 太好了。我们就完成了。多田。

[笑声]

>> 我不知道那是什么。对我来说

不太像圣诞节。

>> 哦，是的。

[欢呼]

[笑声]

>> 看，现在感觉就像圣诞节一样。

>> 我们正在为莫妮卡寻找

圣诞礼物。

>> 什么？太可怕了。不，不，我们每年都会

。

>> 哦，这样

就不那么可怕了。

>> 没有。是的，我们从来没有找到它们。她

总是最适合我们。那就是水貂。

[笑声]

>> 是的，别担心。我们只是要

在这里搜索一个小时，然后我们

去乔伊那里搜索。

好的。

>> 不，不行。您无法寻找

莫妮卡的礼物。

>> 哦，不。我们必须。

>> 不，你不必这样做。你不能

，因为我也住在这里。

>> 好吧，那你应该和我们一起看看。

为什么，

>> 钱德勒？你不担心圣诞节送什么

给莫妮卡吗？

>> 不，我有一个好主意，为她准备一份礼物

。

>> 哦，就是这样。我想这是个好主意。

>> 钱德勒，这还不够。我的意思是，

如果她给你送了一份很棒的礼物，

两份中等大小的礼物，然后是一堆

小礼物，而你刚刚收到了

她的一份很棒的礼物怎么办？我的意思是，那

只会让她感觉很糟糕。为什么

你要这样对她，钱德勒？为什么？

为什么？

>> 如果我帮忙，我们就能更快地找到他们。

>> 没错。

哦。哦，我们有一个现场的。这是

梅西百货的包。

>> 是的。

>> 哦。哦。是给谁用的？

[笑声]

>> 亲爱的失败者，你们真的认为我会把礼物

藏在沙发下面吗？

[笑声]

>>钱德勒。我知道他们会毁了你。

>> 呃哦。她可能会关注我们。

>> 我在 Jo 中找不到任何内容。为什么？

>> 是的，我们找到了他们。它们位于

客房壁橱里的一些外套后面。

是的。你不用担心

，因为它们都是垃圾。 [笑声]

>> 这些是我的礼物。我给你准备了这些。

[笑声]

>> 哦，谢谢，钱德勒。他们很棒。

>> 好吧，钱德勒，那么这个

奇怪的金属是什么东西？

>> 这些是书挡。这是一份很棒的礼物。

>> 哦，好吧。对不起。谢谢你的

屁股。

请确保将所有东西放回

壁橱中。好的。

>> 是的。好的。哦，顺便说一句，我只是想

说我认为你真的很好，

即使在你搬家之后，你仍然

为乔伊存储这些东西。

[笑声]

>> 鸟儿有很好的

方向感，我想也许它们

可以帮助我们找到礼物

藏在哪里。 [笑声]

>> 是的，如果礼物藏在南方

过冬的话。

>> 或者我们可以听听你聪明的

笑话。有什么想法吗？不，我不这么认为。

好的，

>> 加油，伙计们。告诉我们

件礼物在哪里。

>> 好吧，鸭子似乎认为

莫妮卡给我带来了垃圾。我想知道我

能给莫妮卡带来什么，就像

垃圾一样好。

>> H，我的屁股怎么样？

>> 嘿，

这是空心的。

>> 什么？

>> 这张长凳？它是空心的。我不敢相信

我从来不知道这一点。

教授。哦，不。不要直视

他们。

>> 什么？ [笑声]

>> 好吧。不，我们可以看看它们。

>> 哦，这个是给我的。

>> 哦。哦，这个是给钱德勒的。这里，

>> 最适合我的。

>> 好的，我们开始吧。

>> 等一下。等一下。等待。我们

无法做到这一点。

>> 为什么？

>> 我不想知道莫妮卡给了我什么，

你知道吗？我的意思是，看，我确信她

非常努力地为我买了

礼物并想给我一个惊喜，而

你们会毁了这一切。

看，我们必须把它们放回去。

这不是圣诞节的意义。

>> 无论如何，莱昂纳斯。我要打开我的了

[笑声]

>> 没有人打开任何东西。好吧，看一下。

我不知道你们怎么想，但我

想要看到当我

给莫妮卡送礼物时她脸上的表情。我确信当我

想看看我脸上的表情。所以，拜托，我们可以

得到我的东西时，她

把它们放回去吗？

>> 你会给我们带来更好的礼物吗？美好的。

[笑声]

>> 嘿伙计们，

[笑声]

你们找到了礼物。钱德勒，你

让他们找到礼物。伟大的。

你知道我花了多长时间才找到你

那个净水器吗？

[笑声]

>> 这就是你给我的？

>> 哦，是的。我明白你的意思了。

的造型是无价的。

嘿，你们今天在做什么？

>> 为邻居制作节日糖果。

>> 对不起。 WHO？

>> 我要把这个篮子挂在

门上，然后当邻居

经过时，他们都可以拿一块。

>> 但我们不认识邻居。

>> 我愿意。呃，假设有一个留着

胡子的家伙，

抽烟很多的女士，

我见过的孩子，还有一个红头发的家伙，

不喜欢被称为 Rusty。

>> 看，这正是我制作

糖果的原因。我们可以了解他们的名字并让

认识我们的邻居。

>> 如果我们搬家不是更容易吗？

>> 好吧，现在只要记住我

教你的一切，你就会没事的。好的，

开始吧。准备好了，

组。等等，这个座位真的

不舒服。好吧，也许在我们

开始之前，我们应该再买一份。

也许像飞机座椅或豆

袋椅。

[笑声]

>> 宝贝，你无法摆脱这个。好吧，

你必须学会​​如何骑自行车。

>> 为什么？为什么我必须学习？

>> 好吧，以防万一。

>> 什么样的紧急情况？好吧，

如果一个男人走过来，用枪指着你的头

说：“你骑这辆自行车

，否则我就开枪打死你。”

>> 好吧，我会按响铃来分散

他的注意力，然后我会用中国投掷的

的枪打掉。

星将他手上

>> 好吧，菲比，只要骑上

自行车，嘿，我会扶住你并

推你。好吧，

>> 你不会放手的。

不。

>> 你发誓。

>> 我发誓。

>> 好的。

>> 来吧。

>> 好吧。开始了。

>> 好吧。

>> 好吧。

>> 好吧。感觉很好。

>> 好吧，

>> 好吧。尝试踩踏板。就是这样。

你做得很好。你做得很好。

是的。是的。是的。控制住。是的。

>>哦。哦。哦，不。

>> 你得分了。我只是觉得你

做得很好。

>> 很震惊。震惊。 [笑声]

>> 这是一种合法的学习技巧。

[笑声]

哇。

>> 哦，你好骗子。 [笑声]

>> 看，[哼哼]我我真的很抱歉我

放开了自行车。

>> 我可能会被杀。我希望你

知道。

>> [笑声]

>> 我知道。我知道。

但是我们可以再试一次吗？啊？我

的意思是，你太亲密了，菲比。

>> 好吧，我很乐意，但是

自行车被偷了，而警方

没有嫌疑人。

[笑声]

>> 菲比，

>> 什么？ [铃声]

[笑声]

>> 到底是什么？

好的。你知道吗？如果您不打算

学习如何骑这辆自行车，

那我很抱歉。我只是要

来收回它。

>> 什么？为什么？

>> 因为因为它是

，就好像您拥有这把吉他

但从未弹过它。好的。这把

吉他想要被演奏，这辆

自行车想要被骑，如果你

不骑它，你

就扼杀了它的精神。

自行车

即将报废。

好吧，如果你愿意编出

那些废话。好的，[笑声]

>> 太棒了。伟大的。

你让自行车非常高兴。

>> 好的，罗斯。

[笑声]

>> 请不要说话。

>> 我简直不敢相信。我做到了。我骑了一辆

自行车。我从没想过我能做到

。谢谢你，罗斯。

>> 哦，嘿，别谢我。谢谢你自己。

你是那个直面恐惧并最终克服恐惧的人。

...

>> 别这么老套，罗斯。这不是

放学后特别节目。

[铃]

>> 再见。

我刚刚为我们预订了 Michelle's

和 The Music Man 的门票，以

庆祝我们作为

订婚夫妇的第一个节日。

>> 打赌。

>> 贝特罗德夫妇。

>> 嘿。

>> 啊。哦，

[笑声]

>> 宝贝。

>> 头骨。

>> 哦，是的。这是我妈妈的。

>> 天哪。

>> 不，不，不。它不是。这不是我妈妈。

它是我妈妈的。

>> 是的。不，她过去每年

圣诞节都会发布它，提醒我们即使

是圣诞节，人们仍然会死去。

你还可以在里面放糖果。 [笑声]

嘿。

>> 嘿。

>> 嘿。甘草。

>> 当然。

>> 嘿。我刚刚发现今年

假期我得到了本。

>> 哦，那太好了。

>> 你要打扮成圣诞老人吗？

>> 不。我的意思是，我知道苏珊每年

年都会这样做，但我想我想利用今年

年教他有关光明节的所有知识。

>> 也许我可以教本有关

圣诞头骨以及人们如何死亡的知识。

>> 您可能需要利用今年向

Ben 介绍菲比。

您好，先生。您是来退货

裤子的吗？ [笑声]

>> 不，这是我的裤子。

>> 哦，好吧。

[笑声] 我能帮你什么忙？

>> 嗯，嗯，你还有圣诞老人服装

吗

>> 圣诞节前两天？对不起，伙计。

>> 好的。看看，你有什么东西吗，呃

Christmy？我答应了我的儿子，我

真的不想让他失望。嗯，

来吧。我必须有一些东西。

我是节日犰狳。

[笑声]

我是圣诞老人的朋友，他派我

来这里祝你圣诞快乐。

>> 圣诞老人怎么了？假期

犰狳。

>> 圣诞老人没空。距离

圣诞节如此之近。

>> [笑声]

>> 哦，好吧，进来吧。坐吧。从

已经筋疲力尽了。

德克萨斯州一路过来，你一定

[笑声]

>> 德克萨斯州。

>> 没错，本。我是圣诞老人的

代表，代表所有南部

州

和墨西哥。

[笑声]

但圣诞老人派我来这里是为了给你这些

礼物。本，也许那位女士会帮我

送这些礼物。 [笑声]

[笑声]

[笑声]

>> 哇。谢谢。

>> 不客气，本。圣诞快乐

，光明节快乐。

>> [笑声]

>> 你也来光明节吗？因为我有

部分犹太人的血统。

>> 你是。我也是。 [笑声]

>> 因为犰狳也曾在

沙漠中徘徊。

>> 或者

应该只持续一天的那一点点油，却燃烧了

...

>> 整整八天？

>> 没错。这就是我们今天

庆祝光明节的原因。结束。

>> 太棒了。

>> 是的。

我最喜欢的部分是超人将

所有犹太人带出埃及。

[笑声]

犰狳实际上对这部分并不那么

感到兴奋。 [笑声]

好的，本，是时候点燃

光明节蜡烛了。

[笑声]

嘿。哦，哇。看起来像是复活节

兔子的葬礼在这里举行。

>> 来吧。快点。我们正在点燃

蜡烛。快点。

>> 哦，

我明白为什么超人在这里，但是

为什么复活节

兔子的葬礼上有一只豪猪？我不会被

吸引，但

现在以我的感受，我想要

做的就是脱掉他的运动裤和

腰包。

>> 等一下。这大约是您怀孕的第四

个月，对吧？

>> 是的。这是完全正常的。在第四个月

左右，您的荷尔蒙开始

变得疯狂。

>> 真的吗？那么，这种情况发生在你身上吗？

>> 哦，当然。是的。哦，现在请记住

，我怀着三胞胎。所以，

你知道，从医学角度来说，我是兰迪的

三次。

>> 哇。这说明了很多。上

周末，我坐在圣诞老人的腿上

从一家商店走到另一家商店。 [笑声]

>> 是的。是的。我记得我试图从 Foot Locker 偷一张 Vander Holyfield

纸板剪纸。

的

>> 是的。

嗯，你知道吗？我明天去看医生

。我会问她这件事。也许

她可以给我吃药什么的。

>> 是的。是的。这就是你所需要的。一颗很好的

药丸。

好的。好的。这是我们中的一个好人。

>> 哇，那真是太好了。哇。它看起来

就像一张节日贺卡，你知道，

中间有一棵树，

溜冰者和雪。

>> 你知道，每年我都会说我要

寄出节日贺卡，但我从来没有

这么做。您想将

这封邮件一起发送出去吗？

[笑声]

>> 一起？喜欢对人吗？

>> 是的。你知道，莫娜

和罗斯节日快乐。会很可爱。好的。

好的。 [笑声]

>> 哦，我要去工作了，所以稍后打电话给我

。

>> 哦，当然。当然。

>> 再见，伙计们。

>> 再见。

>> 恭喜。你刚刚结婚。

[笑声]

>> 不，你能相信吗？

>> 等等，对不起。节日贺卡有什么大不了的

？

>> 已婚夫妇送贺卡。

个家庭寄出卡片。

约会几个月的人不会

寄出贺卡。什么？什么？她

疯了吗？

>> 嘿嘿嘿。你所说的

就是你的妻子。

>> 亲爱的，我从龙舌兰酒工厂回来了

>>。

>> 不能和道格一起去

吃晚饭真是太糟糕了。我告诉他你

和我分手了。然后他带我去了

所有这些脱衣舞俱乐部和肮脏的酒吧。

然后当我不肯给我的结婚戒指

时，他向一只鸟扔了一个汽水罐。

[笑声]

>> 我可以用嘴呼吸。

>> 你知道最糟糕的部分是什么吗？我让

看看如果没有你我的生活会是什么样子

。

你知道，这就像呃，这是

膝上舞的美好生活。

[笑声]

>> 请答应我，你永远不会

离开我，我们会一起变老

，并彼此相伴一生

。

>> 我保证。

>> 嘿，说到一起，今年我们

寄一张节日贺卡怎么样？

>> 哦，我不知道我们是否已经到了。

>> 对不起，亲爱的。我刚刚度过了

艰难的一天。

>> 哦，怎么了？哦，你真的

真的只是不想听到这个。

>> 那我为什么要问？

>> 好的。我只是想说，这真的

很尴尬，但最近

怀孕的事情，我只是发现自己

，

我该怎么说呢？嗯，

充满色情色彩。

>> 这是大学里的性欲话题吗？

[笑声]

>> 是的。

所以，你知道，我有所有这些

感受，但我不知道该怎么办

，因为我无法像

正常人一样约会，但这很好，因为我

不需要关系。我的意思是，我

真正想要的是一个美好的夜晚，只是

性，你知道，没有任何附加条件，没有

关系，只是和一个我

感觉舒服的人在一起，谁知道

他在度过一个美好的夜晚会做什么。我

的意思是，

真的那么难找到吗？

>> [笑声]

>> 那么，你今天过得怎么样？

>> 很好。我呃我看到一只相当大的

鸽子。

[笑声]

>> 好吧，我得早起，现在已经

快 7:00 了。所以，

>> 我也必须去我的房间。

晚安。晚安。 [笑声]

>> 我做不到。我没有要求你这样做

[笑声]。

>> 你是雷切尔。

>> 你是乔伊。

>> 你是我的朋友。

>> 就在您身边。

>> 是的。 [笑声]

>> 另外，这将是错误的、奇怪的、

和糟糕的。

>> 太糟糕了。但我什至不知道

你在说什么，因为我没有

要求你做任何事情。

>> 我知道。

>> 你想做吗？

>> 不。

>> 我也没有。我只是在测试你。嘿，

好的，

对话就结束了。

>> 这个对话从未发生过。

>> 发生了。

>> 晚安。

>> 回到那里。

>> 他扭伤了雪橇。向他的团队

吹响口哨，他们就像蓟花一样飞走了

。但我听到

他惊呼他开车消失了。祝大家

圣诞快乐，祝大家度过一个美好的

夜晚。

[笑声]

>> 哇，

太棒了。

>> 这真的是你写的吗？ [笑声]

>> 嗯哼。

>> 说再见，精灵们。我要去塔尔萨了

>> 我不敢相信你不会

来这里过圣诞节。

>> 你真的不回来了吗？

>> 是的，我们已经准备好了

需要在

年年底之前提交的所有文件。如果我没有完成它，我就会被

解雇。

>> 只是这太不公平了。你甚至不喜欢

你的工作。

>> 那么，是谁呢？

>> 哦，我喜欢我的工作。我迫不及待地想

回去工作。

>> 我无法获得足够的恐龙。 [笑声]

>> 对不起。我不会在这里。

>> 只是在圣诞节期间见不到你

已经够难受的了。

什么？这是你必须做的。我

明白了。

>> 谢谢。

元旦见。

>>

除夕夜你不会来这里吗？

我没有提到吗？

>> 否。

>> 祝大家晚安。

>> 钱德勒·宾。

>> 嗨，亲爱的。我们都在这里。我们只想

祝您圣诞快乐。

>> 圣诞快乐。

>> 圣诞快乐。

[笑声]

>> 圣诞快乐。我想念你们。

>> 那么这很可怕吗？大家工作

真的很努力吗？

>> 呃，不。只有我和温迪。

>> 温迪？这听起来像一个女孩的名字。

[笑声]

>> 是的。我没有告诉过你关于她的事吗？

>> 嗯。嗯。大约是你告诉我

有关除夕夜的事情的时候。其他

人都在哪里？

>> 我送他们回家了。

>> 噢，你真是个好老板。她

漂亮吗？

>> 呃呃。回答更快。回答更快。

>> 我不知道。

>> 回答得更好。回答得更好。

>> 我不那样想她，你知道的。

我她是一位呃她是一位同事。

>> 她在那里做什么？

>> 哦，她是地区副总裁。她的位置是

，就在我下面。

>> 她做了什么？ [笑声]

>> 在我下面。

>> 哦，等等。温迪是

俄克拉荷马州小姐亚军吗？

>> 什么？ [笑声]

>> 好吧，她没有赢。

>> 好吧。好吧，也许我应该让你

和

俄克拉荷马州第二漂亮的女孩回去工作。

>> 好吧，那一年第二漂亮。我

的意思是，在俄克拉荷马州的所有女孩中，

她可能是

>> 哦，钱德勒，别说话了。 [笑声]

>> 亲爱的，真的没什么好担心的

。

>> 好的，

>> 我是认真的。

>> 好的。

>> 圣诞快乐。

>> 圣诞快乐。

>> 圣诞快乐，你们。

>> 圣诞快乐。

[笑声]

[哼哼]

>> 妻子说：“嗨。”

>> 啊，有趣的谈话。哦，好吧，她

刚刚有了一个奇怪的想法，呃，你

知道，仅仅因为你和我孤身一人

，就会发生一些事情。

>> 啊？真的吗？

有那么可怕吗？

>>

担心的事情可能是错误的，但你在我唯一的领带上沾上了火腿

。

>> 嘿。

>> 天啊。嘿。

>> A

>> 嘿，

这是圣诞节的奇迹。 [笑声]

>> 你在这里做什么？

>> 我想和你在一起。我非常想念你

。嘿。嘿。呃，你最想念

中的谁？

>> 莫妮卡。

问题。

[笑声]

>> 我再也不想离开你了。

>> 但我想如果你离开，

就会被解雇。

>> 结果他们不能解雇我。

因为我退出了。

>> 什么？

>> 什么？你你真的辞职了？

>> 是的，这是一份愚蠢的工作，我

无法忍受离开你。为什么我

是唯一一个没能做

他真正想做的事情的人呢？好吧，

>> 你真正想做什么？

>> 我还没有想清楚这一点。

[笑声]

>> 天哪。

>> 我知道。我应该先和你谈谈

。

>> 不，我认为这就是你想要

做的事情。我认为这很棒。

谢谢，

>> 钱德勒。

>> 你的到来是我能想象到的最好的圣诞

礼物。 A

>> 现在给我我真正的礼物。

[英语]

Guys, there's uh somebody I'd like you

to meet.

>> Wait, wait. What is that?

>> That would be Marcel. You want to say

hi?

>> No. No, I don't.

>> Oh, he is precious. Where did you get

him?

>> My friend Bethl rescued him from some

lab.

>> That is so cruel. Why? Why would a

parent name their child Bethl?

[laughter]

Hey, that monkeyy's got a Ross on his

ass.

>> Ros, is he going to live with you like

in your apartment?

>> Yeah. I mean, it's been kind of quiet

since Carol left. So,

>> why don't you just get a roommate?

>> Uh, I don't know. I think you reach a

certain age. having a roommate is just

kind of pathetic.

Uh, sorry, that's that's pathetive.

>> Oh my gosh, Rachel, my Are you okay?

Where's Paulo?

>> Rome jerk missed his flight and then

your face exploded.

>> No.

Okay, I was at the airport getting into

a cab when this woman, this blonde

planet with a pocketbook, [laughter]

starts yelling at me something about how

it was her cab first and then the next

thing I know, she's just starts starts

pulling ME OUT BY MY HAIR, YOU KNOW, AND

then blowing my attack whistle thingy

and and then THREE MORE CAMS SHOW UP.

As I'm going to get into a cab, SHE

TACKLES ME AND I PUT MY HEAD on the curb

and cut my lip on my whistles.

[laughter]

Everybody having fun at the party?

[laughter]

>> Are people eating my dip?

>> Hi.

>> Hi, I'm Sandy.

>> Sandy. Hi. Come on in.

>> [laughter]

>> You brought your kids.

>> Yeah, that's okay. Right.

>> You know, when I saw you at the store

last week, it was probably the first

time I ever mentally undressed an elf.

>> Wow. That's uh dirty.

>> Yeah.

Hey kids,

>> we're in a virtual snowstorm [cheering]

of confetti here in Time Square. It gets

bigger and better.

>> Go kids.

And then the peacock bit me. [laughter]

Please kiss me at midnight.

[laughter]

>> You seen Sandy? Uh, I don't know how to

tell you this, but uh, she's in Monica's

bedroom getting it on with Max, that

scientist geek.

>> Oh, look at that. I didn't know how to

tell you. [laughter]

>> Everybody, the ball is dropping.

>> What? [laughter]

>> The ball is dripping.

[laughter]

>> It'll be midnight.

>> And the moment of joy is upon us.

>> Looks like that nose date pack thing

worked out.

Everybody looks so happy. I hate that.

>> Not everybody's happy.

>> Hey, Bobby.

>> You know, I uh just thought I'd throw

this out here. I'm no math wiz, but I do

believe there are three girls and three

guys right here.

>> Mhm.

>> Oh, I don't feel like kissing anyone

tonight.

I can't kiss anyone. So, I'm kissing

everyone.

>> No, no, no. You can't kiss Ross. That's

your brother.

>> Oh, yeah.

>> Well, perfect. Perfect. So, now

everybody's getting a kiss but me. All

right. Somebody kiss me.

>> SOMEBODY KISS ME. IT'S MIDNIGHT.

SOMEBODY GET SOMEBODY KISS ME. IT'S

MIDNIGHT. IT'S ONE GAME.

>> HEY. HEY.

>> HEY.

>> HEY. How much did you guys take the

super this year?

>> Yeah, we were going to give 50, but if

you guys gave more, we don't want to

look bad. Oh, actually this year we just

made him homemade cookies.

>> And 25 it is.

>> You gave him cookies.

>> Money is so impersonal.

>> Cookies says someone really cares.

>> All right, we're broke, but cookies do

say that.

>> I can see that. A plate of brownies once

told me a limmerick.

[laughter]

>> Pete, let me ask you something. Were

these uh funny brownies?

Not especially,

>> but you know what? I think they had pot

in them.

>> So, you guys, who else did you tip with

cookies?

>> Uh, the mailman. The super Oh, and the

newspaper delivery guy.

>> Oh my god.

>> What?

>> I don't think you're going to like this.

>> Oh gosh. Oh, there's a cookie smashed in

the sports section.

Oh, look. And he did my crossword

puzzle.

>> Yeah, but not very well. Unless 14

across Gershwin musical actually is Bite

Me, Bite Me, Bite Me, Bite Me.

>> Hey.

>> Hey.

>> Hey, Re. I uh got you a little present.

>> I'll open it.

It's a Slinky.

Remember? Huh? For walks downstairs, a

loner impairs. Everyone knows it's

just a big spring. [laughter]

All right. You're still mad at me

because of the whole

>> horrible and degrading list of reasons

not to be with me?

>> How about from now on we just call it

the unfortunate incident?

[laughter]

>> Hey Gunther, you got stairs in your

place?

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah. Go nuts. There we go.

>> Hey guys.

>> Hey.

>> Hey.

>> What's in the bag? M just some presents.

>> Come on, show us what you bought.

>> You know you want to.

>> Okay.

Okay. This is a picture frame from Ben

to my parents.

>> I got some uh hers and hers towels for

Susan and Carol.

>> And uh I got this blouse for mom.

>> Boss, that is gorgeous. Look at these

authentic fake medals. I

>> tell you, mom's going to be voted best

dressed at the Makeelieve Military

Academy.

>> Hey.

>> Hey. Hey.

>> Happy Christmas Eve. Eve. You

>> too.

>> Oh my god. Where did you get this?

>> Uh Macy's third floor home furnishings.

>> This is my father. This is a picture of

my dad.

>> Okay. This way is on. So, this is

off. [laughter]

>> Did you just break the radiator?

>> No. No. I was turning the knob and and

here it is.

>> Well, put it back.

>> It uh it won't go back.

>> Call the super here. Let me try.

>> Oh. Oh, that's right. I forgot about

your ability to fuse metal.

Hey, it's Funny's cousin. Not funny. Hi,

Mr. Triger. Hi, it's Rachel Green from

upstairs. Yes, somebody uh broke our

knob on the radiator, and it's really

hot in here.

Yes, it's it's hot enough to bake

cookies. [laughter]

Well, well, do you think we could have a

new one by 6?

What? No. No. Tuesday? We can't wait

until Tuesday. We're having a party

tonight.

>> Okay. Tip the man.

>> No. If he doesn't like our cookies, too

bad. I'm not going to be blackmailed.

Look, if worst comes to worse, it gets a

little warm. We'll call it a theme

party.

>> Hey, here's a theme. Come on in. Live

like bacon.

[laughter]

>> Hi. Welcome to our tropical Christmas

party. You put your coats and sweaters

and pants and shirts in the bedroom.

It's hard to tell because I'm sweating,

but I use exactly what the gel bottle

says. [laughter]

>> An amount about the size of a pee. How

How can that be too much?

>> Ice.

Ice. Ice squares. Anyone take a napkin?

All right.

>> Monica. Monica. Monica. Your guests are

turning into jerky. Okay. It's really

I'm definitely comfortable. Hey, hey,

hey, get in line, buddy. I was next.

>> And when you have a second later, I want

to show you why we don't just trap

spiders under coffee mugs and leave them

there.

[laughter]

>> I'm training to be better at a job that

I hate. My life officially sucks.

>> But Ra, wasn't it supposed to be a

temporary thing? I thought you wanted to

do fashion stuff.

>> Well, yeah. I'm still pursuing that.

How exactly are you pursuing that? You

know, other than sending out resumes

like uh what, two years ago?

>> Well, I'm also sending out

good thoughts.

>> If you ask me, as long as you got this

job, you got nothing pushing you to get

another one. You need the fear.

>> The fear.

>> He's right. If you quit this job, you

then have motivation to go after a job

you really want. Well, then how come

you're still at a job that you hate? I

mean, why don't you quit and get the

fear? [laughter]

>> Because I'm too afraid.

>> I don't know. I mean, I would give

anything to work for a designer, you

know, or a buyer.

I just don't want to be 30 and still

work here.

>> Yeah, that'd be much worse than being 28

and still working here. [laughter]

>> Rachel.

>> Yeah.

>> Remind me to review with you which pot

is decap and which is regular.

>> [laughter]

>> Can't I just look at the handles on

them?

>> You would think.

[laughter]

>> Okay, fine. Gunther, you know what? I am

a terrible waitress. Do you know why I

am a terrible waitress? Because I don't

care. I don't care. I don't care which

pot is regular and which pot is decaf. I

don't care where the tray spot is. I

just don't care. This is not what I want

to do.

>> So, I don't think I should do it

anymore. I'm

>> going to give you my week's notice.

>> What?

>> Gunther. I quit.

>> Does this mean we're going to have to

start paying for coffee?

>> Hey.

>> Hey. What are you doing?

>> Well, I I thought a lot about what you

said and um I realized all right. Maybe

I was a little judgmental.

>> Yeah. Oh, but um

>> now Phoebe, remember, hey, they're just

fulfilling their Christmas

>> destiny. Sure.

>> Yes.

>> Okay.

Yikes. That one doesn't look very

fulfilled.

>> Oh, that's uh that's one of the old

ones. He's just taking it to the back.

>> You keep the old ones in the back.

>> That is so aegist.

>> But we have to make room for the fresh

ones.

>> So, what happens to the old guys? Well,

they go into the chipper.

>> Well, I have a feeling that's not as

happy as it sounds.

[laughter]

Hey, hey, hey.

>> Okay. And uh this one here is a Douglas

fur. Now, it's a little more money, but

you get a nicer smell.

[laughter]

>> Looks good. I'll take it.

>> Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. No, no.

You don't want that one. No, you can

have this cool brown one.

>> It It It's almost dead.

>> Okay, but that's why you have to buy it

so that it can fulfill its Christmas

destiny. Otherwise, they're going to

throw it into the chipper. Tell them,

Joey.

>> Yeah, the uh trees that don't fulfill

their Christmas destiny are thrown in

the chipper.

[laughter]

I

>> I think I'm going to look around a

little bit more.

Peeps, you got to stop doing this. I'm

working on commission here.

>> Hey guys, I'm here to pick out my

Christmas tree.

>> Well, look no further. This one's yours.

>> Is this the one that I threw out last

year?

>> All right. You know what? Never mind.

EVERYBODY WANTS TO HAVE A GREEN ONE.

SORRY. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get

so emotional. I guess it's just the

holidays are just hard.

>> Oh, honey. Is that cuz your mom died

around Christmas?

>> Oh, I wasn't even thinking about that.

>> Oh,

[music]

huh. Seeing that drunk Santa wet himself

really perked up my Christmas.

[laughter]

Oh my god.

>> Merry Christmas.

>> You guys. Oh god, you're the best.

>> It's like Night of the Living Dead

Christmas tree.

>> Hello.

Yeah, this is she.

You're kidding. You're kidding. Oh,

thank you. I love you.

>> Sure. Everybody loves a kid. [laughter]

I got the job.

>> God bless us everyone.

>> Hey.

>> Hi.

>> Sorry I'm late. Did I miss anything?

>> Joey stuffing 15 Oreos in his mouth.

>> 15? Your personal best. [laughter]

>> So, where were you?

>> Oh, on a date. Yeah. Yeah, I met this

girl on the train going to a museum

upstate.

>> Oh, yeah. How'd you meet her?

>> Museum.

>> No, answer his.

>> Okay. It was just me and her at the back

of the train and I sat near the doors so

she'd have to pass by me if she wanted

to like switch cars. She was totally at

my mercy.

>> Were you so late because you were

burying this woman?

>> Well, I'm getting back now because she

lives in Pikipsy. She seems really

great, but she's like 2 and 1/2 hours

away. Well, how can she be great if

she's from Pikipsy? [laughter]

>> Okay, that joke would have killed in

Albany. [laughter]

>> Done. I [snorts] did it. Huh? Who's

stupid now? Huh?

>> Hey, look at this. They're lighting the

big Christmas tree tonight.

>> Um, that paper's two weeks old.

>> All right. Who keeps leaving old

newspapers in the trash?

I really wanted to take Kathy to this. I

can't believe I missed it.

>> Hey, you know, at least you have

somebody to miss that stuff with. Hate

being alone this time of year. Next

thing you know, it'll be Valentine's

Day, then my birthday, then bang, before

you know it, they're lighting that damn

tree again.

I want somebody,

you know? I want a man.

[laughter]

I mean, it doesn't even have to be a big

relationship, you know. Just like a

fling would be great.

>> Really? I didn't think girls ever just

wanted a fling.

>> Well, let me tell you something. It's

been a long time since I've been flung.

>> Well, I know what I'm giving you for

Christmas.

[laughter]

>> You know what? There are some nice guys

at my office. You want me to set you up?

>> Yeah.

>> Wait a minute. It's been a long time

that I've been single. How come you've

never offered this before?

>> Well, I have a girlfriend. I'm I'm

happy.

So, I no longer feel the need to go out

of my way to stop others from being

happy.

[laughter]

>> Okay. No accountants. Oh, and no one

from like legal. I don't like guys with

boring jobs.

>> Oh, and Ross was like what? A lion

tamer.

>> That is not for y'all. [laughter]

>> What?

[laughter]

I made a bet with myself that you had

beautiful eyes. Now that I see them, I

win.

>> What?

>> We're at my stop. But would you like to

have coffee?

>> Are we really in Montreal?

>> Yes, we are. So, coffee.

>> Coffee sounds great.

Wait, so so you live in Montreal?

>> Oh, no, but it's just a two-hour ferryy

ride to Nova Scotia.

>> Sat on Santa's lap. Asked him to bring

my friends all kinds of crap.

Said all you need is to write them a

song. Now you haven't heard it yet, so

don't try to sing along.

Don't sing along.

Monica,

Monica,

have a happy Hanukkah.

[laughter]

Saw Santa [singing] Claus. He said hello

to Ross.

[laughter]

And

Joey

Christmas will BE

RACHEL AND CHANDLER.

HAPPY holidays everybody.

>> What are you doing? I uh reorganized the

fridge. See uh bottom shelf meats and

dairy, middle shelf fruits and

vegetables,

and top shelf expired products.

[laughter]

>> Why are you doing this?

>> Because I am bored. Out of my mind. I've

already been to the bank, the post

office, and the dry cleaners.

>> Dude, you just described 7 days worth of

stuff. [laughter]

>> You got to spread it out a little, you

know. Haven't you ever been unemployed?

>> Hey, I am not unemployed. I'm on

sbatical.

>> Hey, don't get religious on me, okay?

[laughter]

A guy in your position needs to be a

little better at relaxing, you know.

What? Why do you think we have the

comfortable chairs? Huh? Look, come

here. Sit down.

Ready? Watch.

AND THEN

>> So what? We just sit. Oh, no. No. We're

not going to just sit. Watch.

>> Hello, Chandler Bing.

>> Hello, Mr. Bing. [laughter]

I love you.

>> All right, whoever this is, stop calling

me. [laughter]

>> IT'S BEEN 6 MONTHS. IT'S NOT FUNNY.

BUT I LOVE YOU.

>> Leave me alone. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD,

LEAVE ME ALONE. [laughter]

>> And that's Wednesday.

>> God. Okay, you guys. Here's Danny.

Watch. Just watch this.

See? Still pretending he's not

interested.

[laughter]

Okay, he's coming over. Just pretend

like we don't know him. We've forgotten

who he is.

>> Hey guys. HEY.

[laughter]

OH, DANNY.

OH,

>> DANNY, you know Rachel, you know, she

she's nice. She's not bad to look at,

right?

>> Thanks, Mom.

>> Of course.

>> Do you want to go out on a date with

her, Monica?

[clears throat]

>> AB:

>> Absolutely. Is Friday. Okay. [laughter]

>> Friday is perfect. She can't wait

>> on the date. I will be able to talk to

her directly, right? [laughter]

Super.

>> Okay. What the hell was that? You know

what? Don't answer me.

>> I have a date with Danny.

>> Hello and merry Christmas. Oh, thank

you, sir. Here's some joy.

>> Hey, want to see how it's going? Well,

it's going okay. Oh, good. Here, let me

help you out. Oh, thanks. Yeah. Wow.

Is that a new suede jacket? It looks

really expensive.

[laughter]

Yeah, I guess.

Just get your nails done.

>> Yes, baby. But this is all I have. Okay.

Okay. Thanks. Happy holidays. Here's

your joy. Thank you.

>> Thank you. Happy holidays. And wait, but

you can't take the money out.

>> I'm making change. I need change for the

bus.

>> But can't you leave the dollar? This

money's for the poor.

>> I'm poor. I got to take the bus.

>> Okay. Season's greetings and everything,

but still.

>> Bite me, Blondie.

>> Oh, I'm going to give him something

besides joy. Just

>> Oh, this is so good. You have got to try

it.

[laughter]

[laughter]

>> Oh. Damn, I got it on my pants.

>> Here, I'll get it.

[laughter]

>> We better take these off upstairs or

that stain's going to set.

>> Yeah, I want to wear these pants on our

date tonight.

>> Oh, great. [laughter]

>> Hey, bye.

>> Oh my god.

>> That was unbelievable. Okay, see, I told

you.

>> Yeah. Wow. Sorry, Ra.

>> I don't believe they're brother and

sister. They're brother and sister.

>> It's a typical New York City apartment.

Two girls are just hanging out.

>> Hi. How are you doing, Kelly?

>> I'm doing just fine. God, Tiffany, you

smell so great. [laughter]

>> It's my new perfume. Why don't you come

closer where you can really appreciate

it?

[laughter]

>> Oh, you know, Joey, you are sick. This

is disgusting. Naz.

>> Wait, wait, wait, wait. THE HANDSOME MAN

WAS ABOUT TO ENTER.

>> Let me ask you, why is everybody using

these tiny little lights nowadays? I

remember when people used to use big

lights.

>> That's a good story, Grandpa.

[laughter]

>> Hey.

>> Hey.

>> Wow. Monica's letting other people help

decorate her tree. Did someone get her

drunk again?

>> [laughter]

>> Having a perfectly decorated tree is not

what Christmas is about. It's about

being with the people that you love.

>> That is nice. And we're done. Tada.

[laughter]

>> I don't know what it is. Just doesn't

quite feel like Christmas to me.

>> Oh, yes.

[cheering]

[laughter]

>> See, now it feels like Christmas.

>> We are looking for our Christmas

presents for Monica.

>> What? That's terrible. No, no, we do it

every year.

>> Oh, well that that makes it not

terrible.

>> No. Yeah, we never find them. She's

always best at us. That wy minkx.

[laughter]

>> Yeah, don't worry. We're just going to

search here for an hour and then we're

going to go over to Joey's and search.

Okay.

>> No, not okay. You can't look for

Monica's presents.

>> Oh, no. We have to.

>> No, you don't have to. And you can't

because I I live here, too.

>> Well, then you should look with us.

Why,

>> Chandler? Aren't you worried about what

to get Monica for Christmas?

>> No, I have a great idea for a present

for her.

>> Oh, that's it. A great idea, I guess.

>> Chandler, that's not enough. I mean,

what if she gets you a great present,

two medium presents, and then a bunch of

little presents, and you've just gotten

her one great present? I mean, that's

just going to make her feel bad. Why

would you do that to her, Chandler? Why?

Why?

>> If I helped, we could find them faster.

>> THAT'S RIGHT.

OH. OH, WE HAVE A LIVE ONE. IT'S A

MACY'S BAG.

>> YEAH.

>> OH. OH. Who's it for?

[laughter]

>> Dear losers, do you really think I'd

hide presents under the couch?

[laughter]

>> P.S. Chandler. I knew they'd break you.

>> Uh-oh. She may be on to us.

>> I couldn't find anything in Jo. Why?

>> Yeah, we found them. They were in the

guest room closet behind some coats.

Yeah. And you have nothing to worry

about cuz they're all crap. [laughter]

>> Those are my gifts. I got those for you.

[laughter]

>> Oh, thanks, Chandler. They're great.

>> Well, Chandler, then what is this very

weird um metal a thing?

>> Those are bookends. That's a great gift.

>> Oh, okay. I'm sorry. Thank you for my

ass.

MAKE SURE YOU put all that stuff back in

the closet. Okay.

>> Yes. Okay. Oh, by the way, I just got to

say I think it's really nice of you that

even after you've moved, you still keep

storing that stuff for Joey.

[laughter]

>> Birds have a very good sense of

direction, and I thought maybe they

could help us find where the presents

are hidden. [laughter]

>> Yes, if the presents are hidden south

for the winter.

>> Or we could just follow your clever

jokes. Any ideas? No. Didn't think so.

Okay,

>> come on, guys. Show us where the

presents are.

>> Well, the duck seems to think that

Monica got me garbage. I wonder what I

can get Monica that's as good as

garbage.

>> H, how about my ass?

>> Hey,

this is hollow.

>> What?

>> This bench? It's hollow. I can't BELIEVE

I NEVER KNEW THAT.

PROFESSOR. OH, NO. DON'T LOOK DIRECTLY

AT THEM.

>> WHAT? [laughter]

>> All right. No, we could LOOK AT THEM.

>> OH, THIS ONE'S FOR ME.

>> OH. OH, THIS ONE'S for Chandler. HERE,

>> THE BIG ONE'S FOR ME.

>> OKAY, LET'S OPEN.

>> Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait. We

can't do this.

>> Why?

>> I don't want to know what Monica got me,

you know? I mean, look, I'm sure she

worked really hard at getting me a

present and wanting to surprise me, and

you guys are going to ruin that. And

look, we have to put these back. This is

not what Christmas is about.

>> Whatever, Lionus. I'm opening mine.

[laughter]

>> Nobody is opening anything. Okay, look.

I don't know about you guys, but I want

to see the look on Monica's face when I

give her my present. And I'm sure she

wants to see the look on my face when I

get mine. So, please Please, can we just

can we put them back?

>> Will you get us better gifts? Fine.

[laughter]

>> Hey guys,

[laughter]

you found the presents. Chandler, you

let them find the presents. Great. Do

you know how long it took me to find you

that water purifier?

[laughter]

>> That's what you got me?

>> Oh, yes. I see what you mean. That look

is priceless.

Hey, what are you guys doing today?

>> Making holiday candy for the neighbors.

>> I'm sorry. Who?

>> I'm going to hang this basket on the

door and then when the neighbors walk

by, they can all take a piece.

>> But we don't know the neighbors.

>> I do. There's uh let's say guy with a

mustache,

smokes a lot lady,

kids I've seen, and a red-haired guy who

does not like to be called Rusty.

>> See, this is exactly why I'm making this

candy. We can learn their names and get

to know our neighbors.

>> Wouldn't it be easier if we just moved?

>> Okay, now just remember everything I

taught you and you'll be fine. Okay,

here we go. Ready,

set. Wait, this seat is really

uncomfortable. Okay, maybe before we

start, we should just get another one.

Perhaps like an airplane seat or a bean

bag chair.

[laughter]

>> Baby, you can't get out of this. Okay,

you have to learn how to ride a bike.

>> Why? Why do I have to learn?

>> Well, in in case of an emergency.

>> What kind of emergency? Well, let what

if a man comes along and puts a gun to

your head and says, "You ride this bike

or I'll I'll shoot you."

>> Okay, I would ring the bell to distract

him and then I would knock the gun out

of his hand with a Chinese throwing

star.

>> Okay, Phoebe, just just get get on the

bike and hey, I'll hold you up and and

push you. Okay,

>> you won't let go.

No.

>> You swear.

>> I swear.

>> Okay.

>> Come on.

>> All right. Here we go.

>> All right.

>> All right.

>> All right. Feel good.

>> Well,

>> all right. Try pedaling. That's it.

You're doing great. You're doing great.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Take control. Yes.

>> Oh. Oh. Oh, no.

>> You score. I I just thought you were

doing so well.

>> It's shocked. Shocked. [laughter]

>> It's a legitimate learning technique.

[laughter]

Wow.

>> Oh, hello liar. [laughter]

>> Look, [snorts] I I'm I'm really sorry I

let go of the bike.

>> I could have been killed. I hope you

know.

>> [laughter]

>> I know. I know.

But can we please try it again? Huh? I

mean, you were so close, Phoebe.

>> Well, I would love to, but

the bike got stolen and the police have

no suspects.

[laughter]

>> Phoebe,

>> what? [bell]

[laughter]

>> What the hell?

All right. You know what? If you are not

going to learn how to ride this bike,

then I'm sorry. I'm just going to have

to take it back.

>> What? Why?

>> Because because it's it's

it would be like you having this guitar

and and never playing it. Okay. This

guitar wants to be played and and this

bike wants to be ridden and and if you

don't ride it, you're you

killing its spirit.

The bike

is dying.

All right, if you care enough to make up

that load of crap. Okay, [laughter]

>> great. Great.

You're making the bike very happy.

>> Okay, Ross.

[laughter]

>> Please don't talk.

>> I can't believe it. I did it. I rode a

bike. I never thought I'd be able to do

that. Thank you, Ross.

>> Oh, hey, don't thank me. Thank yourself.

You're the one who faced your fears and

ultimately overcame them.

>> Don't be so corny, Ross. It's not an

after school special.

[bell]

>> Bye.

I just got us reservations at Michelle's

and tickets to The Music Man to

celebrate our first holiday season as a

betrothed couple.

>> Bet.

>> Betrod couple.

>> Hey.

>> Ah. Oh,

[laughter]

>> babe.

>> Skull.

>> Oh, yeah. IT'S MY MOM'S.

>> OH MY GOD.

>> NO, NO, NO. It's not. It's not my mom.

It belonged to my mom.

>> Yeah. No, she used to put it out every

Christmas to remind us that even though

it's Christmas, people still die.

And you can put candy in it. [laughter]

Hey.

>> Hey.

>> Hey. Licorice.

>> Sure.

>> Hey. I just found out I get Ben for the

holidays this year.

>> Oh, that's great.

>> Are you going to dress up as Santa?

>> Nope. I mean, I know Susan does every

year, but I think I want to take this

year to teach him all about Hanukkah.

>> And maybe I could teach Ben about the

Christmas skull and how people die.

>> You may need to use this year to teach

Ben about Phoebe.

Hello, sir. You here to return those

pants? [laughter]

>> No, these are my pants.

>> Oh, okay.

[laughter] How can I help you?

>> Well, um, do you have a Santa outfit

left

>> two days before Christmas? Sorry, man.

>> Okay. Look, do do you have anything uh

Christmy? I promised my son, and I I

really don't want to disappoint him. Um,

come on. I got to have something.

I'm the holiday armadillo.

[laughter]

I'm a friend of Santa's and he sent me

here to wish you a merry Christmas.

>> What happened to Santa? Holiday

armadillo.

>> Santa was unavailable. So close to

Christmas.

>> [laughter]

>> Oh, well, come in. Have a seat. You must

be exhausted coming all the way from

Texas.

[laughter]

>> Texas.

>> That's right, Ben. I'm Santa's

representative for all the southern

states

and Mexico.

[laughter]

But Santa sent me here to give you these

presents. Ben, maybe the lady will help

me with these presents. [laughter]

[laughter]

[laughter]

>> Wow. Thanks.

>> You're welcome, Ben. Merry Christmas

and happy Hanukkah.

>> [laughter]

>> ARE YOU FOR HANUKKAH, TOO? Because I'm

part Jewish.

>> You are. Me, too. [laughter]

>> Because armadillos also wandered in the

desert.

>> Or was that that little bit of oil that

should have lasted just one day, burned

for

>> eight whole days?

>> That's right. And that's why we

celebrate Hanukkah today. The end.

>> Awesome.

>> Yeah.

My favorite part was when Superman flew

all the Jews out of Egypt.

[laughter]

The armadillo was actually not so

thrilled about that part. [laughter]

Okay, Ben, it's time to light the

Hanukkah candles.

[laughter]

Hey. Oh, wow. Looks like the Easter

Bunny's funeral in here.

>> Come on. Come on. We're We're lighting

the candles. Come on.

>> Oh,

I understand why Superman is here, but

why is there a porcupine at the Easter

Bunny's funeral? That's not someone that

I would would be attracted to, but right

now with the way I'm feeling, all I want

to do is rip off his sweatpants and

fanny pack.

>> Wait a second. This is about the fourth

month of your pregnancy, right?

>> Yeah. This is completely normal. Around

the fourth month, your hormones start

going crazy.

>> Really? So, this has happened to you?

>> Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Oh, and keep in

mind now, I was carrying triplets. So,

you know, in medical terms, I was I was

thrice as Randy.

>> Wow. This explains so much. Last

weekend, I went from store to store

sitting on Santa's laps. [laughter]

>> Yeah. Yeah. I remember trying to steal a

cardboard cutout of a Vander Holyfield

from a Foot Locker.

>> Yeah.

Well, you know what? I go see my doctor

tomorrow. I'll ask her about this. Maybe

she can give me a pill or something.

>> Yeah. Yeah. That's what you need. A good

pill.

Okay. Okay. Here's a good one of us.

>> Wow, that is a good one. Wow. It looks

like a like a holiday card, you know,

with the tree in the middle and the the

skaters and the snow.

>> You know, every year I say I'm going to

send out holiday cards and I never do

it. Do you want to Do you want to send

this one out together?

[laughter]

>> Together? Like to to people?

>> Yeah. You know, happy holidays from Mona

and Ross. It'll be cute. Okay.

Okay. [laughter]

>> Oh, I got to get to work, so call me

later.

>> Oh, sure. Sure.

>> Bye, guys.

>> Bye.

>> Congratulations. You just got married.

[laughter]

>> No. Can you believe that?

>> Wait, I'm I'm sorry. What's the big deal

about a holiday card?

>> Married couples send out cards. Families

send out cards. People who've been

dating for a couple of months do not

send out cards. What? What? Is she

crazy?

>> Hey, hey, hey. That's your wife you're

talking about.

>> Honey, I'm home

>> from the tequila factory.

>> It was awful to get out of going to

dinner with Doug. I told him that you

and I split up. So then he took me to

all these strip clubs and sleazy bars.

And then when I wouldn't give my wedding

ring, he threw a soda can at a bird.

[laughter]

>> I could breathe through my mouth.

>> You know what the worst part was? I got

to see what my life would be like

without you.

You know, it was like uh It's a

Wonderful Life with lap dances.

[laughter]

>> Please promise me that you will never

leave me, that we will grow old together

and be with each other for the rest of

our lives.

>> I promise.

>> Hey, speaking of together, how about we

send out a holiday card this year?

>> Oh, I I don't know if we're there yet.

>> Sorry, honey. I'm just having a having a

rough day.

>> Oh, what's wrong? Oh, you really you

really just don't want to hear about it.

>> Then why did I ask?

>> Okay. It's just I mean, this is really

embarrassing, but lately with this whole

pregnancy thing, I'm just finding

myself,

how do I put this? Um,

erotically charged.

>> Is that college talk for horny?

[laughter]

>> Yeah.

So, you know, I have all of these

feelings and I don't know what to do

about them because I can't date like a

normal person, which is fine because I

don't need a relationship. I mean, all I

really want is one great night, just

sex, you know, no strings attached, no

relationship, just with someone that I

feel comfortable with and who knows what

he's doing for just one great night. I

mean, is that really so hard

to find?

>> [laughter]

>> So, how how was your day?

>> It's been good. I uh I saw a pretty big

pigeon.

[laughter]

>> Well, I got to get up early and it's

almost 7:00. So,

>> I got I got to go to my room, too. Good

night. Good night. [laughter]

>> I CAN'T DO IT. I DIDN'T ASK YOU TO DO

[laughter] IT.

>> You're Rachel.

>> YOU'RE JOEY.

>> YOU'RE MY FRIEND. IT'S

>> RIGHT BACK AT YOU.

>> YEAH. [laughter]

>> PLUS, it would be wrong and weird and

and and and bad.

>> It's so bad. But I don't even know what

you're talking about because I didn't

ask you to do anything.

>> I know.

>> You want to do it?

>> No.

>> Me neither. I'M JUST TESTING YOU. HEY,

WELL THAT'S THE END OF THIS

CONVERSATION.

>> THIS CONVERSATION NEVER HAPPENED.

>> HAPPENED.

>> GOOD NIGHT.

>> Get back in there.

>> He sprained to his sleigh. To his team

gave a whistle and away they all flew

like the down of a thistle. But I heard

him exclaim he drove out of sight. Merry

Christmas to all and to all a good

night.

[laughter]

>> Wow,

that was great.

>> You really wrote that? [laughter]

>> Uh-huh.

>> Say goodbye, elves. I'm off to Tulsa.

>> I can't believe you're not going to be

here for Christmas.

>> You're really not coming back?

>> Yeah, we have all this paperwork that

needs to be filed by the end of the

year. If I don't get it done, I'll be

fired.

>> Just It's so unfair. You don't even like

your job.

>> So, who does?

>> Oh, I like my job. I can't wait to go

back to work.

>> I can't get enough dinosaurs. [laughter]

>> I'm sorry. I won't be here.

>> Just It's hard enough not seeing you

during the week, but for Christmas. And

what? This is what you have to do. I

understand.

>> Thanks.

I'll see you New Year's Day.

>> You're not going to be here New Year's

Eve?

Did I not mention that?

>> No.

>> And to all a good night.

>> Chandler Bing.

>> Hi honey. We're all here. We just want

to wish you a merry Christmas.

>> Merry Christmas.

>> Merry Christmas.

[laughter]

>> A merry Christmas. I miss you guys.

>> So is it horrible? Is everybody working

really hard?

>> Uh well, no. It's just uh me and Wendy.

>> Wendy? That sounds like a girl's name.

[laughter]

>> It is. Did I not tell you about her?

>> Mhm. Mhm. About the time you told me

about New Year's Eve. Where's everybody

else?

>> I sent them home.

>> Oh, you are such a good boss. Is she

pretty?

>> Uh uh. Answer faster. Answer faster.

>> I don't know.

>> Answer better. Answer better.

>> I don't think of her that way, you know.

I She's a uh she's a colleague.

>> What does she do there?

>> Oh, she's regional vice president. She's

just below me.

>> She did what? [laughter]

>> Below me.

>> Oh, wait. Is Wendy the runner-up Miss

Oklahoma?

>> What? [laughter]

>> Well, she she didn't win.

>> All right. Well, maybe I should let you

and the second prettiest girl in

Oklahoma get back to work.

>> Well, second prettiest that year. I

mean, of all the girls in Oklahoma,

she's probably

>> Oh, Chandler, stop talking. [laughter]

>> Honey, there's really nothing to worry

about.

>> Okay,

>> I'm serious.

>> Okay.

>> Merry Christmas.

>> Merry Christmas.

>> Merry Christmas, you guys.

>> Merry Christmas.

[laughter]

[snorts]

>> The wife says, "Hi."

>> Ah, fun conversation. Oh, well, she's

just got this weird idea that uh you

know, just because you and I are alone

that something's going to happen.

>> Huh? Really?

That be so terrible?

>> This is probably the wrong thing to be

worrying about, but you're getting ham

on my only tie.

>> Hey.

>> Oh my god. Hey.

>> A

>> Hey,

that's a Christmas miracle. [laughter]

>> What are you doing here?

>> I wanted to be with you. I missed you so

much. Hey. Hey. Uh, who'd you miss the

most?

>> Monica.

Gotcha.

[laughter]

>> I never want to leave you again.

>> But I thought if you left, you'd get

fired.

>> Turns out they can't fire me.

Because I quit.

>> What?

>> What? You You really quit your job?

>> Yeah, it was a stupid job and I could

not stand leaving you. And why should I

be the only one who doesn't get to do

what he really wants to do? Well,

>> what do you really want to do?

>> I have not thought this through.

[laughter]

>> Oh my god.

>> I know. I I should have talked to you

first about it.

>> No, I think that this is what you want

to do. I think it's great.

Thanks,

>> Chandler.

>> Your being here is the best Christmas

present I could have ever imagined. A

>> Now give me my real gift.

重点词汇

词汇	含义
roommate /ˈruːm.meɪt/ B1	noun - shǔfáng tóurén (室友)
pathetic /pəˈθetɪk/ B2	adjective - kělián de (可怜的)
precious /ˈpreʃ.əs/ B2	adjective - zhēnguì de (珍贵的)
cruel /ˈkruːəl/ B2	adjective - cánrèn de (残忍的)
cab /kæb/ A2	noun - chūzū chē (出租车)
whistle /ˈwɪs.əl/ B1	noun - shàozi (哨子)
candle /ˈkæn.dəl/ A2	noun - làzhú (蜡烛)
gift /ɡɪft/ A1	noun - lǐwù (礼物)
holiday /ˈhɒl.ɪ.deɪ/ A2	noun - jiàrì (假日)
Christmas /ˈkrɪs.məs/ B1	noun - shèngdàn jié (圣诞节)
pregnancy /ˈprɛɡ.nən.si/ B2	noun - huáiyùn (怀孕)
hormones /ˈhɔːr.moʊnz/ B2	noun - jīsù (激素)
emergency /ɪˈmɜːr.dʒən.si/ B1	noun - jǐnjí qíngkuàng (紧急情况)
limerick /ˈlɪm.ər.ɪk/ C1	noun - dāyóushī (打油诗)
slinky /ˈslɪŋ.ki/ B2	noun - tánhuáng wánjù (弹簧玩具)
impersonal /ɪmˈpɜː.sən.əl/ C1	adjective - fēi gèrén de (非个人的)
degrading /dɪˈɡreɪ.dɪŋ/ C1	adjective - biǎndī de (贬低的)
super /ˈsuːpər/ A2	noun - guǎnlǐyuán (管理员)

重点语法结构

• Hey, that monkeyy's got a Ross on his ass.

  ➔ 习语/俚语，所有格 's

  ➔ 这句话使用了非常不正式和幽默的习语。所有格 's 表示罗斯的名字以一种俏皮、俚语的方式被用来描述猴子身上的某物。

• Why don't you just get a roommate?

  ➔ 反问句，情态动词 'don't'，建议

  ➔ 这是一个作为建议起作用的修辞性问题。'don't'是一个情态动词，用于缓和建议并使其不那么直接。反问句邀请同意或考虑。

• I don't know. I think you reach a certain age, having a roommate is just kind of pathetic.

  ➔ 动名词作主语 ('having')，形容词顺序 ('kind of pathetic')，条件语句

  ➔ 这句话使用“having a roommate”作为动名词短语作为子句的主语。“kind of pathetic”展示了常见的形容词顺序，其中“kind of”充当限定词。整个语句表达了对在特定年龄段室友社会可接受性的主观意见。