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I mean, my mom never thought this would 00:00

00:03

work out. 00:03

00:05

She was all once a cheater, always a 00:05

00:07

cheater. [laughter] 00:07

00:10

>> Mhm. Oh, I just wish we hadn't lost 00:10

00:14

those four months. 00:14

00:16

But if time was what you needed just to 00:16

00:18

gain a little perspective, 00:18

00:23

>> we were on a break. 00:23

00:27

>> Coffee house. You bet. [laughter] 00:27

00:29

>> And for the record, it took two people 00:29

00:32

to break up this relationship. 00:32

00:34

>> Yeah. You and that girl from the copy 00:34

00:36

place, which yesterday you took full 00:36

00:38

responsibility for. 00:38

00:39

>> I didn't know what I was taking 00:39

00:40

responsibility for. Okay. I didn't 00:40

00:42

finish the whole letter. 00:42

00:44

>> What? 00:44

00:44

>> I fell asleep. 00:44

00:46

>> You fell asleep? [laughter] 00:46

00:49

>> It was 5:30 in the morning and you had 00:49

00:53

rambled on for 18 pages. 00:53

00:58

>> [laughter] 00:58

00:59

>> FRONT AND BACK. 00:59

01:02

OH, and by the way, y u apostrophe r e 01:02

01:06

means you are. Y r MEANS YOU'RE 01:06

01:10

[laughter] 01:10

01:10

>> KNOW. I can't believe I even thought of 01:10

01:12

getting BACK TOGETHER WITH YOU. WE ARE 01:12

01:14

so over. 01:14

01:17

>> Fine by me. 01:17

01:20

>> Oh. Oh, and hey, HEY, HEY. THOSE LITTLE 01:20

01:22

SPELLING TIPS WILL COME IN HANDY WHEN 01:22

01:23

YOU'RE AT HOME on Saturday nights 01:23

01:24

playing SCRABBLE WITH MONICA. HEY, 01:24

01:27

>> SORRY. 01:27

01:29

[laughter] 01:29

01:29

>> I just feel bad about all that sleep 01:29

01:31

you're going to miss. Wishing you were 01:31

01:32

with me. 01:32

01:33

>> Oh, no. No. Don't you worry about me 01:33

01:34

falling asleep. I STILL HAVE YOUR 01:34

01:37

LETTER. 01:37

01:39

>> HEY, DUDE. Some guy just called for you. 01:39

01:42

>> Who was it? 01:42

01:43

>> I don't know. How about thanks for 01:43

01:45

taking the message. Jesus. 01:45

01:48

[laughter] 01:48

01:48

>> Hey, listen. You know when you move in, 01:48

01:51

Rachel's room's going to be empty. You 01:51

01:52

want to talk about what we want to do 01:52

01:53

with it? 01:53

01:54

>> Sure. Okay, I was thinking we should 01:54

01:56

have a beautiful guest room, right, with 01:56

01:58

um a mahogany sleigh bed and bedside 01:58

02:00

tables with flowers on it all the time. 02:00

02:02

And then we can have like a roll top 02:02

02:03

desk with little comment card so people 02:03

02:05

can tell us how much they love staying 02:05

02:06

here. 02:06

02:09

>> Hey, whatever. You know, I really 02:09

02:10

haven't thought about it that much. 02:10

02:12

>> Well, I like that idea obviously, 02:12

02:14

[laughter] 02:14

02:15

but I was thinking maybe maybe it could 02:15

02:17

be a game room, you know? I mean, you 02:18

02:20

can buy old arcade games like uh like 02:20

02:22

Space Invaders and Asteroids for $200. 02:22

02:25

The real ones. The big big big ones. 02:25

02:29

>> No. 02:29

02:32

>> Okay. So, you mean no as in G Chandler? 02:32

02:34

What an interesting idea. Let's discuss 02:34

02:36

it before we reject it completely. 02:36

02:38

>> Oh, I'm sorry. Of course. 02:38

02:42

Yes. Interesting idea. Um, talk about 02:42

02:44

it. But no. 02:44

02:47

>> So, that's it. Well, I just don't think 02:47

02:49

that, you know, arcade games go in the 02:49

02:51

beautiful guest room. The beautiful 02:51

02:53

guest room is going to be filled with 02:53

02:54

antiques, 02:54

02:54

>> which is why Asteroids is perfect. It's 02:54

02:56

the oldest game. 02:56

03:00

>> What do you have against the beautiful 03:00

03:01

guest room? 03:01

03:02

>> Nothing. I don't have anything against 03:02

03:03

the beautiful guest room, especially 03:03

03:04

since everybody that we know lives about 03:04

03:07

30 seconds away. [laughter] 03:07

03:09

>> Are you mocking me? 03:09

03:11

>> No, I'm not mocking you or your 03:11

03:12

beautiful game. [laughter] 03:12

03:18

Hey, what's up? 03:18

03:21

>> Nothing. Monica and I had a stupid 03:21

03:22

fight. 03:22

03:23

>> But you're still moving in together, 03:23

03:24

right? Cuz my ad came out today. 03:24

03:27

>> Wanted female roommate, non-smoker, non 03:27

03:30

ugly. 03:30

03:32

>> So, come on, explain yourself, Geller. 03:32

03:36

First, you get my Rachel pregnant. 03:36

03:38

>> You got Rachel pregnant? 03:38

03:39

>> WHO DID? 03:39

03:40

>> YOU DID? 03:40

03:41

>> YES. 03:41

03:43

>> YES. YES, I did. But but it was it was 03:43

03:45

just a one night thing. It meant 03:45

03:46

nothing. 03:46

03:47

>> Oh, really? That's what my daughter 03:47

03:50

means to you? Nothing? 03:50

03:51

>> No, no, sir. Um, she means a lot to me. 03:51

03:53

I mean, I I care I I love Rachel. What? 03:53

03:56

Oh, but not in that way. I mean I mean 03:56

03:58

I'm not in love with her. I love her 03:58

04:00

like like a friend. 04:00

04:01

>> Oh, really? That's how you treat a 04:01

04:02

friend. You get her in trouble and then 04:02

04:04

you refuse to marry her. 04:04

04:05

>> Hey, I offered to marry her, but I 04:05

04:07

didn't want to. 04:07

04:10

[applause] 04:10

04:11

Well, why not? So you could spend your 04:11

04:13

time with this 04:13

04:14

04:15

>> I'm sorry. Dr. Green. Mona. Mona. Dr. 04:15

04:18

Green. 04:18

04:21

>> How could you have kept all of this from 04:21

04:23

me? I 04:23

04:24

>> I was going to tell you, but 04:24

04:25

>> But what? You figure you get what you 04:25

04:27

wanted, then you dump her like you did 04:27

04:29

Rachel. 04:29

04:29

>> Hey, I did not dump Rachel, nor are we 04:29

04:32

still together. 04:32

04:35

>> Oh. Um, 04:35

04:37

can I 04:37

04:41

>> Why don't we just let the machine get 04:41

04:42

back? 04:42

04:44

>> Hey, Ross, it's Joey. There's a hooker 04:44

04:46

over here, and we thought maybe you'd 04:46

04:48

know something about it. 04:48

04:51

>> No, no, NO, NO, NO. I I need to lie 04:51

04:55

down. 04:55

04:56

>> What's up, Joe? 04:56

04:57

>> Okay. What have we always wanted to do 04:57

04:59

together? 04:59

05:00

>> Braid each other's hair and ride 05:00

05:02

horseback on the beach. 05:02

05:04

>> Oh, no. No. When you get home tomorrow 05:04

05:06

night, you and I are going to be at the 05:06

05:08

Wizards Knicks game 05:08

05:09

>> courtside. Courtzside? Oh my god. 05:09

05:11

>> YEAH. MAYBE MICHAEL JORDAN will dive for 05:11

05:12

the ball and break my jaw with his knee. 05:12

05:16

>> That is so cool. I'll let Monica know. 05:16

05:21

>> Hello. 05:22

05:22

>> Joey just called. He's got courtside 05:22

05:24

Nicks tickets for him and me tomorrow 05:24

05:26

night. 05:26

05:26

>> Really? But tomorrow night's the only 05:26

05:28

night I get off from the restaurant. If 05:28

05:30

you go to the game, then we won't have a 05:30

05:31

night together for another week. 05:31

05:33

>> But hey, it's courtside. The 05:33

05:34

cheerleaders are going to be right in. 05:34

05:37

That's not the way to convince you. 05:37

05:40

>> Taylor, look, I don't want to be one of 05:40

05:41

those wives that says you can't go to 05:41

05:43

the game. You have to spend time with 05:43

05:45

me. So, if you could just realize it on 05:45

05:47

your own. 05:47

05:49

>> I I know. You're right. I want to see 05:49

05:51

you, too. 05:51

05:52

I just got to figure out a way to tell 05:52

05:54

Joey, you know, he's really looking 05:54

05:55

forward to this. 05:55

05:56

>> Tell him that you haven't seen your wife 05:56

05:57

in a long time. 05:57

05:58

>> Tell him that having a long-distance 05:58

06:00

relationship is really difficult. 06:00

06:02

Tell him that what little time we have 06:02

06:05

together is is precious. 06:05

06:08

>> I'll think of something. 06:08

06:10

>> Cab's ready. 06:10

06:11

>> All right, let's go. 06:11

06:13

>> You're welcome. 06:13

06:14

>> Oh, I'm sorry. Were you speaking to me 06:14

06:16

or sleeping with someone else? 06:16

06:18

[laughter] 06:18

06:19

>> We were on a break. 06:20

06:21

>> You know, Ross, why don't you just put 06:21

06:23

that on your answering machine? 06:23

06:24

>> Hey. Hey, it's valid. Okay. And I'm not 06:24

06:26

the only one who thinks so. Monica 06:26

06:28

agrees with me. 06:28

06:30

>> What? 06:30

06:32

I don't know. 06:32

06:34

[laughter] 06:34

06:34

>> That's what you said last night. 06:34

06:36

>> What I said was was that I understood 06:36

06:40

Joey is the one who agreed with you. 06:40

06:42

>> Okay. 06:42

06:43

>> Really, Joey? 06:43

06:46

>> What? 06:46

06:48

>> You know what? But there there is no 06:48

06:50

right or wrong here. 06:50

06:51

>> No, I think it's very obvious who's 06:51

06:53

wrong here. 06:53

06:54

>> Obviously, not to Joey. 06:54

06:59

>> What? 06:59

07:01

Joey about the same way that I do. No, 07:01

07:04

no, no. 07:04

07:06

Guess who I am. 07:06

07:08

[laughter] 07:08

07:18

>> Look what you're doing to Chandler. 07:18

07:20

[screaming] 07:20

07:22

>> Isn't this great? 07:22

07:25

>> Couldn't you just stay like this 07:25

07:26

forever? 07:26

07:30

Champler, 07:30

07:32

couldn't you just stay here forever? 07:32

07:34

>> Yeah, here somewhere else. You know, 07:34

07:37

where? Wherever, [laughter] 07:37

07:39

>> are you okay? 07:39

07:40

>> Yeah, I'm cool. Casual. 07:40

07:45

>> Wh What are you doing? 07:45

07:46

>> Well, just hanging out, you know, having 07:46

07:48

fun, you know, with the girl that I'm 07:48

07:49

seeing. Casually, 07:49

07:52

>> man, I knew it. I knew you were going to 07:52

07:55

do this. 07:55

07:55

>> What? get all freaked out because 07:55

07:57

everybody was talking and just joking 07:57

07:58

around about marriage and stuff. 07:58

08:00

>> Well, you you do want all that stuff, 08:00

08:03

right? 08:03

08:04

>> Oh, and you know what I want. 08:04

08:05

>> Yes, you want babies. You have baby 08:05

08:07

fever. 08:08

08:10

>> I do not have baby fever. 08:10

08:12

>> Oh, please. You are obsessed with babies 08:12

08:14

and and marriage and everything that's 08:14

08:16

related to babies and and and marriage. 08:16

08:19

You know what? I got a good idea. Why 08:19

08:20

don't we turn the heat down on this 08:20

08:22

pressure cooker? 08:22

08:25

You lost your mind, Taylor. This isn't 08:25

08:28

about me. This is about you and all your 08:28

08:29

weird relationship commitment crap. 08:29

08:31

>> Nuh-uh. I know you. Okay. I know the 08:31

08:33

thoughts that you have in the head in 08:33

08:34

your head. [laughter] 08:34

08:37

>> You don't know everything. Did you know 08:37

08:39

that I'm going out with Rachel tonight 08:39

08:40

instead of you? H And did you know that 08:40

08:42

the only baby around here is you? And 08:42

08:44

did you know that I can't even look at 08:44

08:46

you right now? 08:46

08:50

>> Yo, I did not know that. 08:50

08:53

>> [music] 08:53

08:55

>> It's going to be okay, right? I mean, 08:55

08:56

she's not going to leave me. This is 08:56

08:58

this is fixable. 08:58

08:59

>> Oh, yeah. Yeah, sure. Absolutely. 08:59

09:01

>> By me. 09:01

09:02

>> Oh, no. 09:02

09:03

>> No. No. [laughter] 09:03

09:06

>> Well, unless you make some kind of big 09:06

09:08

gesture. 09:08

09:09

>> Yeah. Big though. 09:09

09:12

>> Oh, The misses. 09:12

09:15

>> Here. Can I Can I get a coffee 09:15

09:18

>> to go? 09:18

09:21

I'm I'm still not done not wanting to 09:21

09:23

talk to you. 09:23

09:23

>> Just tell me what I need to do to make 09:23

09:25

things right. 09:25

09:26

>> What? 09:26

09:27

>> Well, that's what we do. You know, I I 09:27

09:28

mess up and then you tell me how to fix 09:28

09:30

it and then I do and then, you know, you 09:30

09:32

think I'm all cute again. [laughter] 09:32

09:35

I'm really I'm really tired of being 09:35

09:36

your relationship tutor. You're going to 09:36

09:39

have to figure this one out for 09:39

09:40

yourself, right? You know what? You're 09:40

09:42

too afraid to be in a real relationship, 09:42

09:44

then don't be in one. 09:44

09:53

Monica, I need to talk to her. It's 09:53

09:55

urgent. Is she here? 09:55

09:56

>> Hi, Monica. 09:56

09:57

>> I need to talk to you. It's urgent. 09:57

10:00

>> Okay. 10:00

10:01

>> Okay. I've been doing a lot of thinking 10:01

10:03

about us, you know, a lot of uh us 10:03

10:05

thinking. And uh well, I guess there's 10:05

10:09

only one one way to do this. 10:09

10:14

[cheering] 10:14

10:16

>> What are you doing, 10:16

10:17

>> Monica? No. No. No. Don't don't don't do 10:17

10:19

it. 10:19

10:20

>> Will you marry me? 10:20

10:24

[cheering] 10:24

10:25

>> What a bad idea. 10:25

10:27

>> Oh, I can't not look at it. [laughter] 10:27

10:32

>> Chandler, why are you doing this? 10:32

10:34

>> I don't know, [laughter] but I know I'm 10:34

10:36

not afraid to do this. 10:36

10:39

>> Chandler, 10:39

10:41

>> I'm doing this because I'm sorry. 10:41

10:44

>> [laughter] 10:44

10:45

>> Do you um you really think the best 10:45

10:47

reason to get married is because you're 10:47

10:49

sorry? 10:49

10:50

>> Well, no. The best reason to get married 10:50

10:51

is pregnancy. 10:51

10:53

[laughter] 10:53

10:55

>> Sorry is pretty much fourth, you know, 10:56

10:57

behind being ready and actually wanting 10:57

10:59

to get married. 10:59

11:01

Will you be my wife? 11:01

11:04

[laughter] 11:04

11:05

>> Taylor, um I want you to take just a 11:05

11:08

minute and I want you to think about how 11:08

11:09

ridiculous this sounds. 11:09

11:15

Yeah, I'm kind of wishing everyone 11:15

11:16

wasn't here right now. 11:16

11:20

>> Do you know that none of that stuff came 11:20

11:22

from me? I mean, I never said that I 11:22

11:23

wanted to have babies and get married 11:24

11:25

right now. 11:25

11:26

>> Yeah, I don't. But I was really 11:26

11:27

confused. And then I talked to these 11:27

11:29

guys. 11:29

11:30

>> Who? Two divorces and Joey. 11:30

11:33

>> Hey, she's right, you know. 11:33

11:37

>> Yeah, but still cheap shot. 11:37

11:42

>> No. You know when I said that I want you 11:42

11:44

to deal with this relationship stuff all 11:44

11:47

on your own? 11:47

11:48

>> Well, you're not ready for that. 11:48

11:50

>> I didn't think I was. [laughter] 11:50

11:56

>> What are Hi. 11:56

11:58

[laughter] 11:58

11:59

>> Well, what are you doing here? I'm I'm 11:59

12:01

supposed to pick you up. 12:01

12:01

>> Change of plans. I made you a special 12:01

12:03

Valentine's dinner. Surprise. 12:04

12:09

>> Oh, hey Mona. Hi. Hi. Hi, Rachel. 12:09

12:13

What's she doing here? 12:14

12:16

>> I have no idea. 12:16

12:18

[laughter] 12:18

12:19

>> Um, I'll be watching TV if anybody needs 12:19

12:21

me. 12:21

12:23

>> Seriously, what is she doing? 12:23

12:25

>> Uh, you know, lately she just likes 12:25

12:26

hanging out here. [laughter] 12:26

12:29

>> Why? 12:29

12:29

>> I think she's lonely. 12:29

12:32

>> Okay, but it's Valentine's Day. Can't we 12:32

12:35

just ask her to go? 12:35

12:36

>> Well, no. No. She's way too emotional. 12:36

12:40

And by emotional, I mean, 12:40

12:46

>> I'm not here. That's just my Chinese 12:46

12:48

food. 12:48

12:49

>> Oh my god, she has food delivered here. 12:49

12:51

>> Yes, she's she's emotional, but but 12:51

12:54

ballsy. 12:54

12:57

>> You know what I'm going to do? I'm going 12:57

12:59

to get in my sweats and eat this in bed. 12:59

13:02

[laughter] 13:02

13:05

>> And you thought she was going to be in 13:05

13:06

our way. 13:06

13:09

So, okay. Why don't you uh open the 13:09

13:12

champagne and I will be right back. I've 13:12

13:14

got a surprise for you. 13:14

13:16

>> You got another ex-wife back there. 13:16

13:19

>> Please start drinking. 13:20

13:21

>> Okay, let's see. Okay, the turkeyy's in 13:21

13:23

the oven. The stuffing is ready. 13:23

13:24

>> You know, you always cook this meal all 13:24

13:26

by yourself. Let me help this year. 13:26

13:28

>> A Chandler, that's sweet. But you don't 13:28

13:30

have to do everything Dr. Phil tells you 13:30

13:32

to do. 13:32

13:34

>> I'm serious. Let me do something. Just 13:34

13:36

not the turkey or the stuffing. Nothing 13:36

13:38

highprofile. 13:38

13:40

[laughter] 13:40

13:40

>> Let's see. 13:40

13:41

>> Oh, the cranberry sauce. It's easy to 13:41

13:43

make and no one really cares about it. 13:43

13:46

>> Tell me more. 13:46

13:48

>> Okay, I'm going to go check on something 13:48

13:49

across the hall. You start by washing 13:49

13:51

these. Okay. 13:51

13:54

>> Not with soap. 13:54

13:57

[laughter] 13:57

14:00

>> You obviously haven't tasted my Palm 14:00

14:02

Olive potatoes. 14:02

14:03

>> Sorry. I know it's our anniversary, but 14:03

14:05

I told you on the phone I don't have 14:05

14:07

time to stop. 14:07

14:08

>> Okay, you don't have to stop. I'm 14:08

14:09

invisible. I'm not here. 14:10

14:11

>> Yeah, but I don't. 14:11

14:14

Who approved that order? Well, there is 14:14

14:17

no Mark Robinson in this office. Get me 14:17

14:20

Mark on the phone. 14:20

14:21

>> I love Mark. Do you know Mark? 14:21

14:23

>> Yeah. 14:23

14:24

>> Well, let me just check up with what 14:24

14:26

I've got here. All right. See, 038 is 14:26

14:28

not the number for this floor. 038 is 14:28

14:30

Atlanta. 14:30

14:36

Pepper. 14:36

14:38

[laughter] 14:38

14:39

>> None for me. 14:39

14:43

>> I'm sorry. As I was saying, the store 14:43

14:45

number is wrong and I'm sorry, but that 14:45

14:47

is Oh my god. [laughter] 14:48

14:52

>> Okay. 14:52

14:55

>> Oh yeah. Oh yeah. 14:55

14:57

>> Excuse me. I'm sorry. I'm going to have 14:57

14:58

to call you back. I've got Shmp in my 14:58

15:00

office. 15:00

15:03

>> [laughter] 15:03

15:03

>> What are you doing? 15:03

15:05

>> I'm sorry, but um Hey. Oh, somebody's 15:05

15:07

off the phone. How about a glass of wine 15:07

15:09

by the fire? I'd get it going again if 15:09

15:11

you 15:11

15:11

>> Do you realize this is the first time in 15:12

15:13

my life I'm doing something I actually 15:13

15:15

care about? This is the first time in my 15:15

15:16

life I'm doing something that I'm 15:16

15:17

actually good at. I mean, if you don't 15:17

15:19

get that. 15:20

15:20

>> No. Hey, I get that. Okay. I get that 15:20

15:22

big time. And I'm happy for you, but I'm 15:22

15:23

tired of having a relationship with your 15:23

15:25

answering machine. Okay. I don't know 15:25

15:26

what to do anymore. 15:26

15:27

>> Well, neither do I. 15:27

15:31

Is this about Mark? 15:31

15:34

>> Oh my god. 15:34

15:35

>> Okay, it's not. 15:35

15:36

>> Oh my god. I cannot keep having the same 15:36

15:39

fight over and over again. Ross, no. 15:39

15:41

You're you're you're making this too 15:42

15:43

hard. 15:43

15:43

>> Oh, I'm I'm making this too hard. Okay, 15:43

15:45

what do you want me to do? 15:45

15:46

>> I don't know. I don't know. Look, maybe 15:46

15:49

we should just take a break. 15:49

15:51

>> Okay. Okay, fine. You're right. Let's uh 15:51

15:53

let's take a break. Let's cool off. 15:53

15:55

Okay. Let's get some frozen yogurt or 15:55

15:57

something. 15:57

16:00

No. 16:00

16:04

A break from us. 16:04

16:13

>> It's the worst thing that can happen on 16:13

16:14

anniversary ever. 16:14

16:15

>> Oh, good. All right. You decided to tell 16:15

16:17

about the Richard thing. 16:17

16:21

[laughter] 16:21

16:22

>> What? What Richard things? 16:22

16:24

>> Oh, no. 16:24

16:28

What Richard think? 16:28

16:29

>> Simmons. Go with Simmons. [laughter] 16:29

16:36

>> Okay. I um I ran into Richard yesterday 16:36

16:40

and he asked me if I wanted to go for a 16:40

16:42

bite and I did. And the only reason why 16:42

16:44

I didn't tell you is because I I knew 16:44

16:46

you'd get mad and I didn't want to spoil 16:46

16:48

our anniversary. 16:48

16:50

>> I'm not mad. [laughter] 16:50

16:54

>> Really? 16:54

16:54

>> Oh, yeah. Yeah. So you you bumped into 16:54

16:57

Richard. You grabbed a bite. [laughter] 16:57

17:01

>> No big deal. 17:01

17:06

>> Great. 17:06

17:11

>> Okay, London one. 17:11

17:14

>> We should take a trip. 17:14

17:16

>> We should? 17:16

17:17

>> Yep. We're a couple and that's uh what 17:17

17:19

couples do. And I want to meet your 17:19

17:21

parents. We should take a trip WITH YOUR 17:21

17:25

PARENTS. 17:25

17:30

I DON'T THINK WE NEED TO because you're 17:30

17:32

tripping me out right now. 17:32

17:35

>> Are you okay? 17:35

17:37

>> No, I am. I actually am. I mean, this is 17:37

17:39

amazing. My entire life, I have feared 17:40

17:43

this place. And now that I'm here, it's 17:43

17:45

like, what was the big deal? I mean, I 17:45

17:47

could probably say, "Let's move in 17:48

17:49

together." And I'd be okay. 17:49

17:51

>> You probably want us to move in 17:51

17:53

together. 17:53

17:55

It doesn't scare me. 17:55

17:56

>> Yeah, well, it scares me. I mean, I'm 17:56

17:58

not even divorced yet, Chandler. You 17:58

18:00

know, you just invited me over here for 18:00

18:02

pasta and all of a sudden you're like 18:02

18:03

talking about moving in together and I 18:03

18:06

wasn't even that hungry. 18:06

18:08

>> You know what? It's getting really late 18:08

18:09

and I I should just um 18:09

18:11

>> Oh, no. No, don't go. I've scared you. 18:11

18:13

I've said too much. I'm hopeless AND 18:13

18:16

AWKWARD AND DESPERATE for love. 18:16

18:18

[laughter] 18:18

18:25

Hey Janice, it's me. Um, [clears throat] 18:25

18:28

yeah, I I just wanted to apologize in 18:28

18:30

advance for having chased you down the 18:30

18:31

street. 18:32

18:36

[music] 18:36

18:39

>> She sent the chicken back again. 18:39

18:41

>> She said it's too dry now and she wants 18:41

18:43

to come back here and explain to you 18:43

18:44

exactly how she wants. 18:44

18:45

>> Well, fine. I'd like to meet this 18:46

18:47

chicken expert. Send the colonel in. 18:47

18:50

>> [laughter] 18:50

18:55

>> Oh my god. 18:55

18:59

[cheering and applause] 18:59

19:00

Lucky bastard. 19:00

19:04

>> Janice, 19:04

19:05

>> how are you, Miss Hot Shot Chef at the 19:05

19:08

big fancy restaurant with the best 19:08

19:10

chicken ever? 19:10

19:12

[laughter] 19:12

19:14

>> I'm fine. 19:14

19:15

>> Oh, what is that on your finger? I'm 19:15

19:18

blind. 19:18

19:20

>> [laughter] 19:20

19:21

>> Um, so who's the lucky guy? 19:21

19:26

[laughter] 19:26

19:27

>> Oh my god, 19:27

19:31

I am so sorry, sweetie. Are you okay? 19:31

19:35

[laughter] 19:35

19:37

You didn't tell her we're getting 19:37

19:38

married, did you? 19:38

19:39

>> Well, she saw the ring. 19:39

19:40

>> Did she freak out? 19:40

19:41

>> Well, she was shocked when I told her, 19:41

19:43

but then again, so were most people, 19:43

19:45

>> right? 19:45

19:46

Well, she actually has a boyfriend, you 19:46

19:48

know, herself. Name's Clark. Uh, she 19:48

19:52

also kind of invited herself to our 19:52

19:53

wedding. Clark, too. 19:53

19:58

>> You said no, right? 19:58

20:00

>> Huh? [laughter] 20:00

20:03

You said no, right? 20:03

20:05

>> Well, she cornered me and she asked me 20:05

20:08

if the wedding was in town. I mean, what 20:08

20:09

was I supposed to do? 20:09

20:10

>> Why? [laughter] 20:10

20:12

How hard is that? Your checks in the 20:12

20:14

mail. Oh, your baby is so cute. I 20:14

20:17

[laughter] 20:17

20:18

I can't wait to read your book, Ross. 20:18

20:23

>> And so she comes to the wedding. Maybe 20:23

20:25

it won't be so bad. 20:25

20:26

>> When do you think she's just going to 20:26

20:27

sit there quietly? You don't think she's 20:27

20:29

going to want to make a toast? You don't 20:29

20:31

think she's going to want to grab the 20:31

20:32

microphone and sing part-time lover? 20:32

20:35

>> Oh my god. She's not going to like the 20:35

20:37

chicken that night, either, is she? 20:37

20:40

[laughter] 20:40

20:42

>> You know what? It's going to be okay. 20:42

20:44

You know what? She's probably not going 20:44

20:45

to even want to come. 20:45

20:47

>> Really? 20:47

20:48

>> No. That was a lie. 20:48

20:51

See how easy that was? 20:51

20:54

>> So So you would have just lied? 20:54

20:57

>> Yes. 20:57

20:58

>> Would have really been that easy? 20:58

21:01

>> Yes. 21:01

21:02

>> Good. So do it Saturday night cuz we're 21:02

21:04

going to dinner with her and Clark. 21:04

21:10

Now 21:10

21:10

>> you you've been quiet all morning. Is 21:10

21:12

everything okay? Mhm. 21:12

21:16

>> You sure you're all right? 21:16

21:17

>> Yep. 21:17

21:20

>> Okay. Um, well, I'm going to go uh grab 21:20

21:22

us some breakfast. 21:22

21:24

>> FYI, 21:24

21:25

>> there it is. 21:25

21:28

>> In the future, when a girl asks for some 21:28

21:31

ill-advised sympathy sex, just do it. 21:31

21:35

[laughter] 21:35

21:36

>> Wait, what? You're uh you're mad at me 21:36

21:38

about last night? I was just trying to 21:38

21:41

do the right thing. Really? Well, it 21:41

21:43

seems to me if you had done the right 21:43

21:45

thing, I would not have woken up today 21:45

21:46

feeling stupid and embarrassed. I would 21:46

21:48

have woken up feeling comforted and 21:48

21:50

satisfied. 21:50

21:51

[laughter] 21:51

21:53

>> Well, 21:53

21:54

>> oh, stop that. 21:54

21:56

>> I can't believe this. What? I I was just 21:56

21:59

being a good guy. I treated you with 21:59

22:00

with respect and understanding. 22:00

22:02

>> Oh, that is so hot. 22:02

22:05

>> Hey, [laughter] I was looking out for 22:05

22:07

you. 22:07

22:07

>> Oh, really? Well, Ross, you know what? I 22:07

22:09

am a big girl. I don't need someone 22:09

22:10

telling me what is best for me. 22:10

22:13

>> I got to say, I've not had sex a lot of 22:13

22:15

times before. This is the worst ever. 22:15

22:19

>> Oh, really? Really? Well, it wasn't very 22:19

22:21

good for me either. 22:21

22:22

>> Oh, okay. You know, hey, hey, you know 22:22

22:23

what? You know what? To avoid this 22:23

22:25

little thing in the future, let's just 22:25

22:26

say you and me never having sex again. 22:26

22:29

>> What? 22:29

22:30

>> That's right. Sex is off the table. I am 22:30

22:32

never having sex with you again. 22:32

22:37

[laughter] 22:37

22:42

Okay. 22:42

22:44

>> See, 22:44

22:45

>> she stole my jeans. 22:45

22:50

>> What? 22:50

22:52

>> I have been looking for them all week 22:52

22:53

and she is wearing them. 22:53

22:55

>> So, she stole your pants and then she 22:55

22:57

came back and wore them in front of you. 22:57

23:00

>> Don't you see? It's the perfect crime. 23:00

23:03

>> She must have been planning this for 23:04

23:05

years. 23:05

23:07

I will prove it to you. Okay. About a 23:07

23:09

week ago, I was wearing those jeans and 23:09

23:11

I dropped a pen in my lap and it left an 23:11

23:12

ink stain on the crotch. Now, when she 23:12

23:14

comes back, I will find it and show you 23:14

23:17

that stain. 23:17

23:19

>> Shouldn't we give her the benefit of the 23:19

23:21

doubt before we go snooping around her 23:21

23:23

crotch? 23:24

23:27

>> Hey. Hey. 23:27

23:28

>> You got a second? 23:28

23:29

>> Sure. Sure. Come on in. 23:29

23:33

>> Hello, sweetheart. Um, 23:33

23:36

what you what you guys doing here? 23:36

23:37

>> Uh, we are here to break up with you. 23:37

23:42

>> Both of you. 23:42

23:43

>> Basically, we think you're a horrible 23:43

23:45

human being and bad things should happen 23:45

23:47

to you. 23:47

23:50

>> I'm sorry. Sorry, God. I am so sorry. 23:50

23:52

I'm an idiot. I was weak. I I couldn't 23:52

23:54

help myself. Whatever I did, I only did 23:54

23:56

because I love you so much. 23:56

24:01

>> Uh, which one of us are you talking to 24:01

24:02

there, Bear? [laughter] 24:02

24:06

Mindy. Mindy. Of course, Mindy. It was 24:06

24:09

always Mindy. 24:09

24:10

>> Even when we were having sex in that 24:10

24:12

chair. Look, 24:12

24:13

>> I swear. Look, whatever I was doing, I 24:13

24:15

was always thinking of you. 24:15

24:17

>> Oh, please. During that second time, you 24:17

24:20

couldn't have picked her out of a 24:20

24:21

lineup. 24:21

24:22

>> You did it twice. 24:22

24:24

>> Well, the first time didn't really 24:24

24:25

count. I mean, you know, it was Barry. 24:25

24:28

We're already late for Phoe's birthday 24:28

24:29

dinner. So, you're going to put out that 24:30

24:32

cigarette. We're gonna put this fight on 24:32

24:34

hold and go have sex. 24:34

24:35

>> Fine. What? 24:36

24:39

>> Sex? This is the last day that I'm 24:39

24:40

ovulating and if we if we don't do it 24:40

24:42

now, then I'm gonna have to wait till 24:42

24:43

next month. 24:43

24:44

>> You're serious? [laughter] 24:44

24:46

>> Oh, yeah. 24:46

24:47

>> All right, fine. I'll do it. But no 24:48

24:49

talking 24:49

24:50

>> and no cuddling. 24:50

24:51

>> And no kissing your neck. 24:52

24:53

>> Oh, good. I hate it when you do that. 24:53

24:57

[cheering] 24:57

24:59

>> And lots of kissing your neck. 24:59

25:03

Hello. 25:03

25:04

>> Hello. Is Ross there? 25:04

25:05

>> Uh, no he's not. Can I take a message? 25:05

25:07

>> Yes. This is Russell, Ross' divorce 25:07

25:08

lawyer. Just tell him that since I 25:08

25:10

haven't heard from him, I assume he's 25:10

25:12

decided to give the marriage a try. 25:12

25:14

>> Ross got married again? [screaming] No. 25:14

25:17

[laughter] 25:17

25:20

>> All right, keep going. We are phasing 25:20

25:22

the accent out. Phasing it out. 25:22

25:26

So without retesting their results in 25:26

25:28

the laboratory, 25:28

25:30

the team would never have identified 25:30

25:36

the initial errors in their carbon 25:36

25:40

dating analysis. [laughter] 25:40

25:44

Were there any questions at this point? 25:44

25:48

>> Yes. 25:48

25:48

>> What's happening to your accent? 25:48

25:51

[laughter] 25:51

25:53

>> Come again. What's What's this nonsense? 25:53

25:56

[laughter] 25:56

26:00

All right. I'm I'm not English. 26:00

26:05

I'm from Long Island. 26:05

26:07

I was really nervous and the accent just 26:07

26:10

um just came out. [laughter] 26:10

26:13

I'm sorry. 26:13

26:16

So, if we could just get back to the 26:16

26:18

lecture. 26:18

26:20

Um, 26:20

26:21

were there any questions 26:21

26:25

[laughter] 26:25

26:26

about paleontology? 26:26

26:30

All right. Look, I was just trying to 26:30

26:32

make a good first impression. Obviously, 26:32

26:35

I screwed up. But what you guys think of 26:35

26:37

me is really important because I'm I'm 26:37

26:39

hoping to get a permanent job here. So, 26:39

26:42

if you just give me another chance to 26:42

26:44

make a good impression. 26:44

26:46

>> Russ, ARE YOU CRAZY? I AM STILL YOUR 26:46

26:50

WIFE? WHAT WERE YOU JUST NEVER GOING TO 26:50

26:52

TELL ME? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH 26:52

26:53

YOU? [laughter] 26:53

26:55

I could just kill you. 26:55

27:01

[laughter] 27:01

27:02

>> Well, Rachel, 27:02

27:03

>> you two were involved in a serious 27:03

27:05

relationship that really creates a 27:05

27:07

problem. 27:07

27:07

>> Ros, your honor, rest assured that 27:07

27:09

relationship ended two years ago. And 27:09

27:11

can you please strike Consummated Like 27:11

27:13

Bunnies from the record? 27:13

27:15

Is [laughter] there anything in this 27:15

27:17

record that is actually true? 27:17

27:19

>> Uh well, yes. We uh we got married in 27:19

27:21

Vegas and uh and the names I think. 27:21

27:25

>> Well, based on what I've heard, you two 27:25

27:28

certainly don't qualify for an anolment. 27:28

27:30

>> If you don't want to be together, you'll 27:30

27:31

have to file for divorce. 27:32

27:33

>> That's great. You happy now? Look what 27:33

27:35

you did with your funny funny form. 27:35

27:38

>> What me? What about YOU AND YOUR 27:38

27:40

CONSUMMATED LIKE BUNNIES NONSENSE? 27:40

27:43

NOW, what are you typing that for? She 27:43

27:46

already said we don't get the anulment. 27:46

27:48

Don't type that. What? Stop typing. Hey, 27:48

27:53

stop typing. 27:53

27:55

Stop typing. Stop typing. 27:55

27:58

>> Okay. Do you see? Do you see what you 27:58

28:00

are keeping me married to? 28:00

28:02

>> You need to get out of my chambers. 28:02

28:04

>> All right. Look, lady. Here is the deal. 28:04

28:06

I came here for an anolment, and I am 28:06

28:08

not leaving here until I get one. 28:08

28:10

>> Would you like to spend the night in 28:10

28:11

jail? 28:11

28:11

>> Okay. Thank you for your time. 28:12

28:13

>> Why are your eyes so wide? 28:13

28:16

>> You tell me. [laughter] 28:16

28:18

Maybe it's because I was just fooling 28:18

28:19

around with my ex. Oh, no. No, no, no, 28:19

28:22

NO. THAT WAS YOU. 28:22

28:24

>> Oh my god. 28:24

28:25

>> All right. 28:25

28:26

>> How did you know? 28:26

28:27

>> Joey told me he saw you two kissing 28:27

28:29

>> in the park. [cheering] 28:29

28:32

>> No, in his office. How many kisses were 28:32

28:34

there? 28:34

28:35

>> Just those two. 28:35

28:37

>> WH WHY WHY WHY WAS THERE KISSING? THERE 28:37

28:39

should be no kissing. Oh, I'm sorry, 28:39

28:42

honey. I'm so so so 28:42

28:45

I'm so so sorry. I just BUT I OH, WHAT 28:45

28:49

HAPPENED WAS I I I can't breathe. Did 28:49

28:52

you get me a bag or something? 28:52

28:56

>> Here. Here. 28:56

28:57

>> There. 28:57

29:01

[laughter] 29:01

29:02

It's the receipt. 29:02

29:03

>> I'll take it. 29:03

29:04

>> It was a mistake. I made a mistake. 29:04

29:06

Okay. 29:06

29:06

>> A mistake? What were you trying to put 29:06

29:09

it in? her purse. 29:09

29:12

Where? Where did he put it? [laughter] 29:12

29:18

>> Ros, you had sex with another woman. 29:18

29:21

>> Oh my god. 29:21

29:22

>> Oh god. I knew something had to be wrong 29:22

29:24

because my fingernails did not grow at 29:24

29:26

all yesterday. 29:26

29:29

>> Yeah. Well, I guess they had a fight and 29:29

29:31

he got drunk. 29:31

29:32

>> You guys knew about this and you didn't 29:32

29:34

tell us. 29:34

29:35

>> He had sex and we get hit in our heads. 29:35

29:38

>> You know what? I want you to leave. Get 29:38

29:39

out of here. Just get out. 29:39

29:40

>> No, I know. I want to stay. I want to 29:40

29:42

talk about this. 29:42

29:43

>> Okay. All right. How was she? 29:43

29:46

>> Uh-oh. 29:46

29:51

>> What 29:51

29:52

>> was she good? 29:52

29:53

>> Don't answer that. [laughter] 29:53

29:58

>> Rose, you said you wanted to talk about 29:58

29:59

it. Let's talk about it. How was she? 29:59

30:03

>> She was awful. 30:03

30:04

>> She was not good. Not good. Nothing 30:04

30:06

compared to 30:06

30:08

She She was different. Oh. 30:08

30:11

>> Uhoh. 30:11

30:13

>> Good. Different. 30:13

30:16

>> Nobody likes change. 30:16

30:23

>> Should we do something? 30:23

30:24

>> Yeah. Never cheat on Rachel. 30:24

30:28

>> I'm sorry. Okay. I'm sorry. I I was 30:28

30:31

disgusted with myself and then this 30:31

30:33

morning I was so I was I was so upset 30:33

30:35

and then I got your message and I was so 30:35

30:37

happy and all I wanted was to get her 30:37

30:38

out of my apartment as fast as possible. 30:38

30:45

>> What time did your little friend leave? 30:45

30:49

[laughter] 30:49

30:51

>> Oh my god. She was there. 30:51

30:53

>> She was still there. She was in there 30:53

30:55

WHEN I WAS IN THERE. 30:55

30:58

[screaming] 30:58

30:59

ask you. 30:59

31:02

>> Listen. Oh, hey. Hey. The important 31:02

31:03

thing is she meant she meant nothing to 31:03

31:05

me. 31:05

31:05

>> And yet SHE WAS WORTH JEOPARDIZING OUR 31:06

31:08

RELATIONSHIP. 31:08

31:10

>> LOOK, I didn't think there was a 31:10

31:12

relationship to jeopardize. I thought we 31:12

31:13

were broken up. 31:14

31:14

>> We were on a break. 31:14

31:15

>> That for all I knew could last forever. 31:16

31:18

That to me is a break up. 31:18

31:19

>> You think you're going to get out of 31:19

31:20

this on a technicality? 31:20

31:22

>> I'm not trying to get out of anything, 31:22

31:23

okay? I thought our relationship was 31:24

31:25

dead. Well, you sure had a hell of a 31:25

31:28

time at the wake. [laughter] 31:28

31:31

>> You know what? I don't think we should 31:31

31:33

listen to this anymore. 31:33

31:34

>> What are you doing? I can't go out 31:34

31:36

there. 31:36

31:36

>> Why not? I'm hungry. 31:36

31:39

[laughter] 31:39

31:40

>> Because they'll know we've been 31:40

31:41

listening. God, I'd have to hear about 31:41

31:44

it from Gunther. 31:44

31:45

>> Come on. Like I wanted him to tell you, 31:45

31:47

I ran all over the place trying to make 31:47

31:49

sure that didn't happen. 31:49

31:52

>> Oh, that is so sweet. 31:52

31:56

I think I'm falling in love with you all 31:56

31:58

over again. 31:58

32:01

>> You know what? I think we can go out 32:01

32:02

there. I mean, they have more important 32:02

32:04

things to worry about. 32:04

32:05

>> Yeah, we'll be fine. 32:05

32:06

>> Look, Rachel, I wanted to tell you. I 32:06

32:08

thought I should. I I did. And then 32:08

32:10

Chandler and Joey convinced me not to. 32:10

32:14

[laughter] 32:14

32:17

>> Wax the door shut. We're never leaving 32:17

32:18

up. I 32:18

32:20

>> I love your breasts the way they are. H 32:20

32:23

fascist. [laughter] 32:23

32:26

>> Well, my breasts are going to get bigger 32:26

32:28

whether you like it or not. And and you 32:28

32:30

know what? It's not just my breasts. My 32:30

32:32

ass is going to get bigger, too. 32:32

32:33

>> Your ass? 32:33

32:35

[laughter] 32:35

32:36

>> Yeah. And don't be surprised if her 32:36

32:37

hands and her feet get bigger, too. 32:37

32:41

>> They do that? 32:41

32:43

>> It's kind of a package deal. 32:43

32:46

>> God, why? Why would you want to do that 32:46

32:48

to yourself? 32:48

32:49

>> I thought it was something that we both 32:49

32:51

wanted. [snorts] All 32:51

32:53

right, look. If it means that much to 32:53

32:54

you, I may be able to get on board with 32:54

32:55

the big boobs, but the giant ass and the 32:56

32:57

big clown feet. [laughter] 32:58

33:01

>> Oh my god, Chandler. If you can't handle 33:01

33:04

this, what are you going to be like in 33:04

33:06

the hospital with the blood and the 33:06

33:07

screaming and the little person that's 33:07

33:09

shooting out of her? [laughter] 33:09

33:13

>> What? 33:14

33:15

>> Oh. Oh. 33:15

33:18

Whoops. Oh, I seem to have dropped my 33:18

33:20

fork. 33:20

33:22

Let me just bend over and get it. 33:22

33:24

[laughter] 33:24

33:30

[laughter] 33:30

33:32

Oh god. 33:32

33:36

[laughter] 33:36

33:37

>> Okay, enough. This is This is not going 33:37

33:39

to happen. 33:39

33:40

>> Oh, come on, Ros. I'm miserable here. 33:40

33:43

Come on. You started this. Now you 33:43

33:45

finish it. 33:45

33:48

>> Come on, West. Big love to me. 33:48

33:51

>> [laughter] 33:51

33:52

>> You know what? 33:52

33:54

>> What? 33:54

33:56

>> Forget it. 33:56

33:59

>> Oh, wow. What? Now, Ross, you're not 33:59

34:00

going to talk? How on earth will you 34:00

34:03

ever annoy me? 34:03

34:06

Oh, wait a minute. I know. 34:06

34:09

[snorts] 34:09

34:12

>> I mean, you think the damn jalapeno 34:12

34:14

would have cleared up your sinuses, but 34:14

34:16

no, that's not enough. What are you 34:16

34:19

doing? I'M GETTING THAT BABY OUT OF YOU. 34:19

34:23

[cheering] 34:23

34:29

>> Oh god. 34:29

34:30

>> Oh, I know. 34:30

34:31

>> Oh no. 34:31

34:34

>> I think my water just broke. 34:34

34:38

>> I am good. [laughter] 34:38

34:40

[cheering] 34:40

34:43

>> Monica, 34:43

34:44

>> she's sleeping. 34:44

34:46

[laughter] 34:46

34:49

I know. Just quick quick quick question. 34:49

34:51

Which one was Deep Impact and which one 34:52

34:54

was Armageddon? 34:54

34:56

[laughter] 34:56

34:58

>> Deep Impact was the one with Robert 34:58

35:00

Dval. Armageddon is what's going to 35:00

35:03

happen to you if you wake me up. 35:03

35:05

[laughter] 35:05

35:06

>> Sorry, I just can't sleep. 35:06

35:14

Where is that book that you were reading 35:14

35:16

with the two women who were ice skating 35:16

35:18

and wearing wearing those hats with the 35:18

35:21

flowers on it? Because every time I look 35:21

35:22

at that cover, I'm like, 35:22

35:27

>> it is in the living room where there is 35:27

35:28

also a light and no one will kick you in 35:28

35:31

the shin. 35:31

35:34

>> What? Ow. 35:34

35:44

I'm sorry. I thought maybe I'd make some 35:44

35:46

warm milk and it would help me sleep 35:46

35:48

>> with a walk. 35:48

35:51

[laughter] 35:51

35:51

>> Thought you were going to read my boring 35:51

35:53

book to put you to sleep. 35:53

35:54

>> It got interesting. 35:54

35:57

Damn you, Oprah. [laughter] 35:57

36:00

>> Here, let me make the milk. I'm up 36:00

36:02

anyway. 36:02

36:03

>> Hey, you know what we could do? You 36:03

36:04

know, now that we're up, we could just 36:04

36:06

like talk to each other all night long, 36:06

36:08

you know, like we did when we were first 36:08

36:10

going out. It'd be fun. 36:10

36:12

>> Okay, that does sound fun. 36:12

36:13

>> Yeah. So, how bummed were you when the 36:13

36:15

second sister died? Huh? 36:16

36:17

>> The second sister dies. [laughter] 36:17

36:24

>> No, 36:24

36:26

[laughter] 36:26

36:27

no. I I I was talking about the book I 36:27

36:30

was reading, 36:30

36:30

>> The Second Sister Dies in Archie and Jug 36:30

36:33

Head Double Digest. [laughter] 36:33

36:37

>> That's correct. 36:37

36:38

>> And I were talking and and I was so 36:38

36:41

upset about the hall being knocked down 36:41

36:43

and she suggested that we just put the 36:43

36:45

wedding off for a bit. 36:45

36:50

>> She said what? 36:50

36:51

>> She said, "If I'm not going to be happy 36:51

36:52

getting married somewhere that we can 36:52

36:53

find in a day, well, then we should just 36:53

36:55

postpone it. 36:55

36:59

Postpone it. 36:59

37:02

>> Emily, do you think Monica realizes how 37:02

37:04

much our parents spent on this wedding? 37:04

37:06

Huh? Do you think my sister's teeny tiny 37:06

37:09

little brain comprehends that people 37:09

37:12

took time out of their lives to fly 37:12

37:14

thousands of miles to be here? Huh? 37:14

37:18

[laughter] 37:18

37:21

>> This isn't right. 37:21

37:23

>> I realize that people are going to be 37:23

37:25

disappointed. 37:25

37:27

But I'm sure they'll come back when we 37:27

37:28

can do it right. 37:28

37:29

>> Well, I can't ask people to do that. 37:29

37:31

Would you ask people to do that? 37:31

37:33

>> Don't you point your pants at me. 37:33

37:36

[laughter] 37:36

37:37

>> We have no choice. Anywhere that's half 37:37

37:39

decent will have been booked months ago. 37:40

37:41

Ross, don't you understand? This is our 37:41

37:42

wedding I'm talking about. 37:42

37:44

>> The only thing I understand is 37:44

37:45

postponing it is not an option. This is 37:45

37:48

when we're getting married. 37:48

37:49

>> So, what are you saying? It's now or 37:49

37:50

never? 37:50

37:51

>> No, I'm saying it's now 37:51

37:52

>> or. 37:52

37:53

>> There's no or in mine. What is wrong 37:53

37:56

with these pants? 37:56

37:59

>> It's not the pants. It's you who's 37:59

38:01

backwards. And if and if you don't 38:01

38:03

understand how important this is to me, 38:03

38:05

well then perhaps we shouldn't be 38:05

38:06

getting married at all. 38:06

38:07

>> What? Emily, NO. WAIT. STOP. EMILY, 38:07

38:10

PLEASE. 38:10

38:10

>> OH. 38:10

38:14

>> HEY. 38:14

38:15

>> HEY. 38:15

38:16

>> You know, I'm I'm really glad we decided 38:16

38:17

not to sleep together before the 38:17

38:19

wedding. 38:19

38:20

>> Oh, boy. Me, too. [laughter] You know, I 38:20

38:23

was thinking if we had a a big fight 38:23

38:25

>> and uh we broke up for a few hours. 38:25

38:27

>> Yeah. 38:28

38:28

>> Technically, 38:28

38:29

we could have sex again. 38:30

38:32

>> What do you think? Bossy and doineering. 38:32

38:34

[laughter] 38:34

38:35

>> The wedding is off. Sloppy and immature. 38:35

38:38

>> That's me. 38:38

38:41

My cousin Cassie's in the guest room. 38:41

38:42

We're supposed to have lunch. 38:42

38:43

>> Well, get rid of her. Obsessive and 38:43

38:45

shrill. 38:45

38:47

>> Shrill. The wedding is back on. 38:47

38:50

>> Maybe we should go. No, you guys, you 38:50

38:52

really don't have to go. We're done 38:52

38:53

talking. But 38:53

38:54

>> come on. Look, I know how you must 38:54

38:55

>> No, you don't, Ross. Imagine the worst 38:55

39:00

things you think about yourself. Now, 39:00

39:02

how would you feel if the one person 39:02

39:04

that you trusted the most in the world 39:04

39:06

not only thinks them, too, but actually 39:06

39:09

uses them as reasons not to be with you? 39:09

39:12

>> No, but but see, I want to be with you 39:12

39:15

in spite of all those things. 39:15

39:17

>> Oh, well, that's that's mighty big of 39:17

39:19

you, Ross. I said don't go. [laughter] 39:19

39:25

>> You know what? You know what? If if 39:25

39:28

things were the other way around, there 39:28

39:30

is nothing you could put on a list that 39:30

39:31

would that would ever make me not want 39:32

39:33

to be with you. 39:33

39:35

>> Well, then I guess that's the difference 39:35

39:37

between us. See, God never make a list. 39:37

39:41

>> What do we do? 39:41

39:42

>> What do you mean what do we do? 39:42

39:43

>> Twint. 39:43

39:45

Twint. 39:45

39:48

>> Taylor, you're panicking. Uh-huh. Join 39:48

39:50

me, won't you? [laughter] 39:50

39:53

>> Okay. What do you say we keep one and 39:53

39:54

then just like have an option on the 39:54

39:56

other one? 39:56

39:57

>> We can't split them up. 39:57

39:59

>> Why not? We could give each of them half 39:59

40:01

a medallion and then years later they'll 40:01

40:04

find each other [laughter] 40:04

40:07

and be reunited. 40:07

40:09

>> I mean, that's a great day for 40:09

40:10

everybody. [laughter] 40:10

40:12

>> Okay. What if the person who adopts the 40:12

40:14

other one is horrible? 40:14

40:15

>> What if they're not? What if it's 40:15

40:17

adopted by a king? Yeah, because I hear 40:17

40:19

the king is looking to adopt. [laughter] 40:19

40:22

>> Michael, we are not ready to have two 40:22

40:24

babies. 40:24

40:25

>> That doesn't matter. We have waited so 40:25

40:28

long for this. I don't care if it's two 40:28

40:30

babies. I don't care if it's three 40:30

40:31

babies. I don't care if the entire cast 40:32

40:34

of eight is enough comes out of there. 40:34

40:37

>> Well, it happened about six weeks ago 40:37

40:41

and uh I had just gotten home from work 40:41

40:43

and Ross was already there cuz I guess 40:43

40:45

he'd been hanging out with Joey. 40:45

40:46

>> You're welcome, buddy. 40:46

40:49

>> [laughter] 40:49

40:51

[applause] 40:51

40:53

>> Yeah, thanks. [laughter] 40:53

40:55

>> And so I had a lot of work to do and 40:55

40:57

Ross, nice guy that he is, offered to 40:57

40:59

help me out. And then we had a little 40:59

41:01

wine. We got to talking and next thing 41:01

41:03

you know, out of nowhere, Ross comes on 41:03

41:05

to me. [laughter] 41:05

41:07

>> That's That's a little misleading. 41:07

41:11

>> What is 41:11

41:12

>> the lie you just told [laughter] 41:12

41:16

>> that that you came on to me? There's the 41:16

41:17

one. 41:18

41:19

>> But you did. We can be Let's be honest. 41:19

41:21

>> Yes. Let's 41:21

41:25

[laughter] 41:25

41:25

>> You know what? Uh it's it's not 41:25

41:27

important. What's important is that is 41:27

41:29

that we're having a baby and it's not 41:29

41:31

doesn't matter who came on to who. Whom. 41:31

41:37

>> That's right. 41:37

41:40

[laughter] 41:40

41:41

>> You know, you kissed me first. 41:41

41:42

>> What? What? You were begging me to kiss 41:42

41:44

you. You you you were sending me signals 41:44

41:46

all over the place. 41:46

41:47

>> I was sending you signals. Oh, please. 41:47

41:49

Okay. Anyone in this room think that I 41:49

41:51

would actually send Ross begging 41:51

41:53

signals? Please show off hands. 41:53

41:57

[laughter] 41:57

41:58

>> You know, it doesn't matter. It doesn't 41:58

41:59

matter what people believe. What matters 41:59

42:01

is what happened. 42:01

42:02

>> Okay. Well, so these signals, Ross, 42:02

42:03

explain this to me cuz maybe I need to 42:04

42:05

be more careful. I mean, am I sending 42:05

42:06

you these signals right now? 42:06

42:08

>> You know what? You know what, Rachel? 42:08

42:09

Just Just drop it. 42:10

42:10

>> No, please show me how I begged you. 42:10

42:13

>> I can show you. I have it on videotape. 42:13

42:16

[laughter] 42:16

42:21

Wanted to 42:21

42:24

>> interesting. 42:24

42:26

[laughter] 42:26

42:29

>> Anyway, 42:29

42:31

um probably worked out for the best. 42:31

42:36

>> Yeah, sure. 42:36

42:37

>> Okay. In about 10 seconds, you're going 42:37

42:39

to see him kiss me. And in about five 42:39

42:42

seconds, you're going to see why. 42:42

42:48

>> Ross, did I ever tell you about the time 42:48

42:50

that I went backpacking through Western 42:50

42:52

Europe? 42:52

42:54

[laughter] 42:54

43:00

[laughter] 43:00

43:01

>> Hey, get ready to see some begging. 43:01

43:04

>> OH, YOU CAME ON to Ross. 43:04

43:07

[laughter] 43:07

43:08

>> What? Now I'm so happy. 43:08

43:12

>> What are you talking about? 43:12

43:13

>> You use the Europe story. 43:13

43:15

>> That's the magic story you use when you 43:15

43:17

want to have sex. [laughter] 43:17

43:21

>> How do you know about that story? 43:21

43:23

>> How do you know about that story? 43:23

43:26

[laughter] 43:26

43:27

>> I heard it from my friend Irene who 43:27

43:28

heard it from some guy. 43:28

43:31

>> Some guy? [cheering] 43:31

43:34

[applause] 43:34

43:36

>> No. No. She told me that his name was 43:36

43:37

Ken Adams. 43:38

43:40

[cheering] 43:40

43:41

[laughter] 43:41

43:41

>> Ken Adams. 43:41

43:44

>> I'm so sorry. Please stop freaking out. 43:44

43:47

>> I'm not freaking out. 43:47

43:50

[laughter] 43:50

43:51

>> Why would I be freaking out? A woman 43:51

43:53

named Hildy called and said we were 43:53

43:55

getting married, but that happens every 43:55

43:56

day. 43:56

43:59

[applause] 43:59

44:01

>> Honey, we were at this beautiful place 44:01

44:03

and I I I just put our names down for 44:04

44:05

fun. I mean, what's the harm in that? 44:05

44:07

>> Right here, MOM. [laughter] 44:07

44:11

>> TAYLOR, please don't think I was trying 44:11

44:13

to pressure you. Phoebe and Rachel just 44:13

44:15

thought that 44:15

44:15

>> Phoebe and Rachel. So, the people that 44:15

44:17

knew about our wedding before me were 44:17

44:19

you, Phoebe and Rachel, Hildy, and 44:20

44:22

apparently some band called the 44:22

44:24

Starlight Magic 7, who are available, by 44:24

44:26

the way. [laughter] 44:26

44:29

>> It was a mistake. Please don't take this 44:29

44:32

to mean anything because it doesn't. 44:32

44:37

Okay. 44:37

44:39

>> Really? 44:39

44:41

>> Yes. If it really doesn't mean anything 44:41

44:43

because you know that I'm just not 44:43

44:45

ready. 44:45

44:45

>> I know. I know. 44:45

44:49

>> Okay. 44:49

44:51

>> All right. I'm going to go tell Joey 44:51

44:53

that that you're back. He's really 44:53

44:55

worried about you. 44:55

45:02

Hey, did she buy it? 45:02

45:05

Totally. 45:05

45:06

>> So, did Hilly show you the place? 45:06

45:08

>> Yeah, it's beautiful. 45:08

45:10

[cheering] 45:10

45:11

>> I can't believe you're going to ask 45:11

45:12

Monica to marry you. 45:12

45:14

>> I know. 45:14

45:16

[cheering] 45:16

45:17

>> Hello. My name is Clunkers. 45:17

45:21

>> May I please stay with you nice people? 45:21

45:24

>> Oh, I wish you could stay here, but 45:24

45:26

Chandler is allergic. 45:26

45:28

>> Extremely allergic. Okay. If I am 45:28

45:31

anywhere near a dog for more than 5 45:31

45:33

minutes, my throat will just close up. 45:33

45:36

>> That's odd, cuz this dog's been living 45:36

45:38

here for the past 3 days. [laughter] 45:38

45:46

>> Really, 45:46

45:49

[laughter] Taylor? If the dog has been 45:49

45:50

here that long and you haven't had a 45:50

45:51

reaction, maybe you're not allergic to 45:51

45:53

this dog. 45:53

45:53

>> Well, it still has to go, right? 45:53

45:56

>> Why? 45:56

45:58

Okay, it's um 45:58

45:59

>> Don't do it. [laughter] 45:59

46:03

>> Don't do what? 46:03

46:04

>> I have to. 46:04

46:05

>> Okay, it's time. 46:05

46:09

[laughter] 46:09

46:12

>> Okay. I HATE DOGS. 46:12

46:13

>> WHAT? WHAT? 46:13

46:14

>> CRAZY. 46:14

46:17

>> Told you. 46:17

46:23

>> They are needy. They are jumpy. And you 46:23

46:27

can't tell what they are thinking. And 46:27

46:28

that scares me a little bit. [laughter] 46:28

46:31

You're 46:31

46:31

>> right. THEY ARE SCARY. SHE JUST ATE A 46:31

46:35

TREAT OUT OF MY HAND. [laughter] 46:35

46:39

>> Wait a minute. Do you not like all dogs? 46:39

46:41

I mean, not even puppies. 46:41

46:43

>> Is there a puppy here? 46:43

46:46

>> You don't like puppies? Okay, you are 46:46

46:49

new. 46:49

46:51

>> [laughter] 46:51

46:53

>> Look, Chandler, I told you never tell 46:53

46:55

anyone about this dog thing. It's like 46:55

46:58

Ross not liking ice cream. 46:58

47:01

>> You don't like ice cream? 47:01

47:02

>> It's too cold. 47:02

47:05

[laughter] 47:05

47:05

>> Okay, just the dogs make me a little 47:05

47:08

uncomfortable. Hurts my teeth. 47:08

47:10

[laughter] 47:10

47:11

And I don't want to say this. I don't 47:11

47:12

want you guys to hate me, but uh I don't 47:12

47:15

think I can be around that dog anymore. 47:15

47:17

Okay, so either the dog goes or I go. 47:17

47:20

Huh? 47:20

47:23

[laughter] 47:23

47:28

>> Oh my god. 47:28

47:30

[laughter] 47:30

47:31

>> Okay, Phoebe, we should probably go back 47:31

47:33

now. 47:33

47:34

>> Please don't leave me. I'll be lonely. 47:34

47:37

[laughter] 47:37

47:38

Stop it. Stop. Okay, let's go. Well, we 47:38

47:42

can be strong. 47:42

47:43

>> Yeah. Okay. 47:43

47:47

>> Oh my god. Did you hear that? She said, 47:47

47:49

"Monica, 47:49

47:50

[laughter] 47:50

47:52

I can't leave her." 47:52

47:53

>> You know, if you want, we could sneak 47:53

47:55

the dog back in and Chandler wouldn't 47:55

47:56

even know. That's not going to work. I 47:56

47:59

had that dog there for 3 days and 47:59

48:00

Chandler had no idea. He's not so smart. 48:00

48:03

>> Hey, [laughter] 48:03

48:05

I didn't know either. 48:05

48:06

>> Yeah, but you kind of knew that 48:06

48:08

something was going on, didn't you? 48:08

48:11

>> Yeah, I knew. 48:11

48:15

>> Hi, honey. 48:15

48:17

Please, please, please don't be mad at 48:17

48:19

me. 48:19

48:19

>> What? Why? Why would wait and see? Maybe 48:19

48:22

we will. Maybe we won't. [laughter] 48:22

48:25

>> Okay. I went over to Ross's apartment to 48:25

48:27

bring back clunkers, you know, for you. 48:27

48:29

And I [clears throat] left the door open 48:29

48:31

and she must have gotten out and I 48:31

48:35

looked everywhere all over the 48:35

48:37

apartment, including the roof, which 48:37

48:39

FYI, Ross, one of your neighbors growing 48:39

48:41

weed. 48:41

48:44

I couldn't find him and I am so so so 48:44

48:49

sorry. But I do know where we can all 48:49

48:53

go. Ease the pain. [laughter] 48:53

48:58

>> WE HAVE GOOD NEWS. LOOK WHO'S BACK. 48:58

49:00

>> HEY, LOOK. Oh my god. 49:00

49:04

>> That's right. She came back all by 49:04

49:05

herself. It's a Thanksgiving miracle. 49:05

49:11

It is so good to see you. 49:11

49:13

>> Yet she came all the way back from 49:14

49:15

Ross's building. Oh, the things she MUST 49:15

49:17

HAVE SEEN. [laughter] 49:17

49:19

>> And then she climbed up the fire escape 49:20

49:21

and she tapped on the window with her 49:21

49:23

teeny little paw. And then we ran to let 49:23

49:25

her in. [laughter] 49:25

49:28

I went too far, didn't I? 49:28

49:31

When should I have stopped? [laughter] 49:31

– 英语/中文双语歌词

📲 像 "" 这么火的歌还没在 App 学？有点亏哦！

作者

观看次数

239,677

语言

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学习这首歌

歌词与翻译

[中文]

我的意思是，我妈妈从来没想过这会

...

锻炼。

...

她曾经是个骗子，一直都是

...

骗子。 [笑声]

...

>> 嗯。哦，我只是希望我们没有输掉

...

这四个月。

...

但是如果您需要时间

...

获得一些视角，

...

>> 我们正在休息。

...

>> 咖啡馆。你打赌。 [笑声]

...

>> 郑重声明，需要两个人

...

来解除这种关系。

...

>> 是的。你和副本中的那个女孩

...

个地点，昨天您已满了

...

的责任。

...

>> 我不知道自己在服用什么

...

的责任。好的。我没有

...

完成整封信。

...

>> 什么？

...

>> 我睡着了。

...

>> 你睡着了吗？ [笑声]

...

>> 那是早上 5:30，你有

...

聊了 18 页。

...

>> [笑声]

...

>> 正面和背面。

...

哦，顺便说一下，y u 撇号 r e

...

表示您是。 Y r 表示您是

...

[笑声]

...

>> 知道。我不敢相信我竟然想到了

...

与你重聚。我们是

...

就这样结束了。

...

>> 我觉得很好。

...

>>哦。哦，嘿，嘿，嘿。那些小

...

拼写提示将在

时派上用场

周六晚上你在家

...

和莫妮卡一起玩拼字游戏。嘿，

...

>> 抱歉。

...

[笑声]

...

>> 我只是对所有的睡眠感到难过

...

你会错过的。希望你是

...

和我一起。

...

>> 哦，不。不，你不用担心我

...

睡着了。我还有你的

...

信。

...

>> 嘿，伙计。刚刚有人打电话给你。

...

>> 是谁？

...

>> 我不知道。感谢

...

接收消息。耶稣。

...

[笑声]

...

>> 嘿，听着。你搬进来的时候就知道了，

...

瑞秋的房间将空无一人。你

...

想谈谈我们想做的事情

...

有了它？

...

>> 当然。好吧，我想我们应该

...

有一个漂亮的客房，对吧，还有

...

嗯，一张桃花心木雪橇床和床头

...

张桌子上一直摆着鲜花。

...

然后我们就可以拥有卷顶

...

办公桌上没有评论卡，所以人们

...

可以告诉我们他们有多喜欢留下来

...

在这里。

...

>> 嘿，不管怎样。你知道，我真的

...

还没有想那么多。

...

>> 嗯，我显然喜欢这个主意，

...

[笑声]

...

但我想也许可以

...

是一个游戏室，你知道吗？我的意思是，你

...

可以购买像呃这样的旧街机游戏

...

太空入侵者和小行星，售价 200 美元。

...

真实的。大大大大大的。

...

>> 号

...

>> 好的。那么，你的意思是“不”，就像G·钱德勒那样？

...

多么有趣的想法啊。我们来讨论一下

...

在我们完全拒绝它之前。

...

>> 哦，对不起。当然。

...

是的。有趣的想法。嗯，谈谈

...

它。但没有。

...

>> 所以，就是这样。好吧，我只是不认为

...

你知道，街机游戏属于

...

漂亮的客房。美丽的

...

客房将充满

...

古董，

...

>> 这就是小行星完美的原因。这是

...

最古老的游戏。

...

>> 你对美丽有什么看法

...

客房？

...

>> 什么也没有。我没有任何反对

...

漂亮的客房，尤其是

...

因为我们认识的每个人都生活在

...

还剩 30 秒。 [笑声]

...

>> 你在嘲笑我吗？

...

>> 不，我不是在嘲笑你或你的

...

漂亮的游戏。 [笑声]

...

嘿，怎么了？

...

>> 什么也没有。莫妮卡和我有一个愚蠢的

...

战斗。

...

>> 但你们还是住在一起，

...

对吗？因为我的广告今天出来了。

...

>> 诚征女室友，不吸烟，不

...

丑陋。

...

>> 那么，来吧，解释一下你自己，盖勒。

...

首先，你让我的瑞秋怀孕。

...

>> 你让瑞秋怀孕了？

...

>> 谁干的？

...

>> 你做到了吗？

...

>> 是的。

...

>> 是的。是的，我做到了。但它是

...

只是一晚的事情。这意味着

...

什么也没有。

...

>> 哦，真的吗？这就是我女儿

...

对您来说意味着什么？没有什么？

...

>> 不，不，先生。嗯，她对我来说意义重大。

...

我的意思是，我我关心我我爱瑞秋。什么？

...

哦，但不是那样。我的意思是我的意思是

...

我不爱她。我爱她

...

像朋友一样。

...

>> 哦，真的吗？这就是对待

的方式

朋友。你让她陷入麻烦然后

...

你拒绝娶她。

...

>> 嘿，我提出要娶她，但我

...

不想。

...

[鼓掌]

...

那么，为什么不呢？所以你可以花你的

...

时间

...

...

>> 对不起。格林博士。莫娜。莫娜。博士

...

绿色。

...

>> 你怎么能把这一切都瞒着

...

我？我

...

>> 我本来想告诉你的，但是

...

>> 但是什么？你认为你得到了你想要的

...

想要，然后你像以前一样抛弃了她

...

雷切尔。

...

>> 嘿，我没有抛弃 Rachel，我们也没有

...

还在一起。

...

>>哦。嗯，

...

我可以吗

...

>> 为什么我们不让机器获取

...

回来了？

...

>> 嘿，罗斯，我是乔伊。有一个妓女

...

在这里，我们认为您可能会

...

对此有所了解。

...

>> 不，不，不，不，不。我我需要撒谎

...

下来。

...

>> 怎么样，乔？

...

>> 好的。我们一直想做的事情

...

在一起？

...

>> 互相编辫子并骑行

...

在海滩上骑马。

...

>> 哦，不。不。当你明天回家时

...

晚上，你和我将在

...

奇才尼克斯队比赛

...

>> 场边。考茨赛德？我的天啊。

...

>> 是的。也许迈克尔乔丹会跳水

...

球并用膝盖打断我的下巴。

...

>> 太酷了。我会让莫妮卡知道的。

...

>> 你好。

...

>> 乔伊刚刚打来电话。他在场边

...

明天他和我的尼克斯队门票

...

晚。

...

>> 真的吗？但明天晚上是唯一的

...

晚上我从餐厅下车。如果

...

你去看比赛，那我们就没有

...

又一周共度一夜。

...

>> 但是，嘿，这是场边。

...

啦啦队马上就到了。

...

这不是说服你的方法。

...

>> 泰勒，听着，我不想成为

中的一员

那些说你不能去

的妻子

游戏。您必须花时间与

...

我。所以，如果你能在

上意识到这一点

你自己的。

...

>> 我我知道。你说得对。我想看看

...

你也是。

...

我只是想办法告诉

...

乔伊，你知道，他看起来真的很漂亮

...

转发至此。

...

>> 告诉他你还没有见过你的妻子

...

很长一段时间了。

...

>> 告诉他有一个长途

...

关系真的很难。

...

告诉他我们的时间不多

...

在一起是弥足珍贵的。

...

>> 我会想到一些事情。

...

>> 出租车准备好了。

...

>> 好吧，我们走吧。

...

>> 不客气。

...

>> 哦，对不起。你是在跟我说话吗

...

还是和别人睡觉？

...

[笑声]

...

>> 我们正在休息。

...

>> 你知道，罗斯，你为什么不直接输入

...

在您的答录机上？

...

>> 嘿。嘿，这是有效的。好的。而且我不是

...

唯一这么想的人。莫妮卡

...

同意我的观点。

...

>> 什么？

...

我不知道。

...

[笑声]

...

>> 这就是你昨晚说的。

...

>> 我说的是我明白

...

Joey 是同意你观点的人。

...

>> 好的。

...

>> 真的吗，乔伊？

...

>> 什么？

...

>> 你知道吗？但没有

...

这里对还是错。

...

>> 不，我认为

是谁很明显

这里错了。

...

>> 显然，对乔伊来说不是。

...

>> 什么？

...

乔伊和我的做法差不多。不，

...

不，不。

...

猜猜我是谁。

...

[笑声]

...

>> 看看你对钱德勒做了什么。

...

[尖叫]

...

>> 这不是很棒吗？

...

>> 你就不能一直这样

...

永远？

...

钱普勒，

...

你就不能永远留在这里吗？

...

>> 是的，在其他地方。你知道，

...

在哪里？无论在哪里，[笑声]

...

>> 你还好吗？

...

>> 是的，我很好。随意的。

...

>> 你在做什么？

...

>> 好吧，只是出去玩，你知道，

...

很有趣，你知道，和我

这个女孩在一起很有趣

看到。随意，

...

>> 老兄，我就知道。我知道你会

...

这样做。

...

>> 什么？吓坏了，因为

...

每个人都在聊天和开玩笑

...

关于婚姻之类的事情。

...

>> 好吧，你确实想要所有这些东西，

...

right?

...

>> 哦，你知道我想要什么。

...

>> 是的，你想要孩子。 You have baby

...

fever.

...

>> 我没有婴儿发烧。

...

>> Oh, please.你对婴儿很着迷

...

and and marriage and everything that's

...

related to babies and and and marriage.

...

You know what? I got a good idea. Why

...

我们不把这件事关小一点吗

...

pressure cooker?

...

你疯了，泰勒。 This isn't

...

about me.这是关于您和您所有的

...

奇怪的关系承诺废话。

...

>> Nuh-uh.我认识你。好的。 I know the

...

你脑子里的想法

...

your head. [laughter]

...

>> 你并不知道一切。 Did you know

...

今晚我要和瑞秋出去

...

instead of you? H 你知道吗

...

这里唯一的宝宝是你吗？ And

...

did you know that I can't even look at

...

you right now?

...

>> Yo, I did not know that.

...

>> [music]

...

>> 会没事的，对吧？ I mean,

...

she's not going to leave me. This is

...

this is fixable.

...

>> Oh, yeah.是的，当然。绝对地。

...

>> By me.

...

>> Oh, no.

...

>> 不。不。[笑]

...

>> 好吧，除非你做了某种大事

...

gesture.

...

>> Yeah. Big though.

...

>> Oh, The misses.

...

>> Here.我可以喝杯咖啡吗

...

>> to go?

...

我还没有结束，不想

...

talk to you.

...

>> 请告诉我需要做什么才能使

...

things right.

...

>> What?

...

>> Well, that's what we do.你知道，我我

...

搞砸了，然后你告诉我如何修复

...

然后我就这么做了，然后，你知道，你

...

think I'm all cute again. [笑声]

...

I'm really I'm really tired of being

...

your relationship tutor.您将

...

have to figure this one out for

...

你自己，对吗？你知道吗？你是

...

太害怕建立真正的关系，

...

then don't be in one.

...

Monica, I need to talk to her.这是

...

紧急。她在吗？

...

>> 嗨，莫妮卡。

...

>> I need to talk to you.事情很紧急。

...

>> 好的。

...

>> 好的。 I've been doing a lot of thinking

...

关于我们，你知道，我们很多人

...

思考。嗯，我想有

...

only one one way to do this.

...

[欢呼]

...

>> 你在做什么，

...

>> 莫妮卡？不，不，不，不要不要不要做

...

它。

...

>> Will you marry me?

...

[欢呼]

...

>> What a bad idea.

...

>> 哦，我不能不看它。 [笑声]

...

>> 钱德勒，你为什么要这样做？

...

>> 我不知道，[笑]但我知道我是

...

不害怕这样做。

...

>> 钱德勒，

...

>> I'm doing this because I'm sorry.

...

>> [laughter]

...

>> 你真的认为最好吗

...

结婚的理由是因为你

...

抱歉？

...

>> 嗯，不。 The best reason to get married

...

是怀孕。

...

[笑声]

...

>> 抱歉几乎是第四个，你知道，

...

做好准备并真正想要

...

结婚。

...

Will you be my wife?

...

[笑声]

...

>> 泰勒，嗯，我希望你只拿一个

...

分钟，我希望您思考如何

...

ridiculous this sounds.

...

Yeah, I'm kind of wishing everyone

...

wasn't here right now.

...

>> 你知道那些东西都没有来吗

...

来自我？ I mean, I never said that I

...

想要生孩子并结婚

...

现在。

...

>> 是的，我不知道。但我真的

...

困惑。然后我和这些人交谈了

...

伙计们。

...

>> 谁？两次离婚和乔伊。

...

>> Hey, she's right, you know.

...

>> Yeah, but still cheap shot.

...

>> 不。你知道我什么时候说过我想要你

...

来处理所有的关系

...

是你自己吗？

...

>> 好吧，你还没有准备好。

...

>> I didn't think I was. [笑声]

...

>> 什么是嗨。

...

[笑声]

...

>> Well, what are you doing here?我是我

...

应该来接你。

...

>> Change of plans. I made you a special

...

Valentine's dinner.惊喜。

...

>> 哦，嘿莫娜。你好。你好。嗨，雷切尔。

...

What's she doing here?

...

>> 我不知道。

...

[笑声]

...

>> 嗯，如果有人需要的话我会看电视

...

我。

...

>> Seriously, what is she doing?

...

>> 呃，你知道，最近她只是喜欢

...

在这里闲逛。 [笑声]

...

>> 为什么？

...

>> I think she's lonely.

...

>> Okay, but it's Valentine's Day.我们不能

...

就请她走吗？

...

>> 嗯，不。不，她太情绪化了。

...

And by emotional, I mean,

...

>> 我不在这里。这只是我的中文

...

食物。

...

>> 天哪，她这里还送外卖。

...

>> 是的，她很情绪化，但是

...

勇敢。

...

>> 你知道我要做什么吗？我要去

...

出汗并在床上吃这个。

...

[笑声]

...

>> And you thought she was going to be in

...

我们的方式。

...

那么，好吧。 Why don't you uh open the

...

champagne and I will be right back.我已经

...

got a surprise for you.

...

>> You got another ex-wife back there.

...

>> Please start drinking.

...

>> 好吧，让我们看看。 Okay, the turkeyy's in

...

the oven.馅料就准备好了。

...

>> You know, you always cook this meal all

...

一个人。今年让我帮忙。

...

>> A Chandler, that's sweet.但你不

...

have to do everything Dr. Phil tells you

...

要做的事。

...

>> 我是认真的。让我做点什么。只需

...

not the turkey or the stuffing.没什么

...

高调。

...

[笑声]

...

>> Let's see.

...

>> Oh, the cranberry sauce.很容易

...

make and no one really cares about it.

...

>> 告诉我更多信息。

...

>> Okay, I'm going to go check on something

...

穿过大厅。首先清洗

...

这些。好的。

...

>> 不能用肥皂。

...

[笑声]

...

>> You obviously haven't tasted my Palm

...

橄榄土豆。

...

>> Sorry. I know it's our anniversary, but

...

I told you on the phone I don't have

...

到了停止的时间。

...

>> 好吧，你不必停下来。我是

...

看不见。我不在这里。

...

>> Yeah, but I don't.

...

Who approved that order?嗯，有

...

no Mark Robinson in this office.找我

...

在手机上做标记。

...

>> 我爱马克。你认识马克吗？

...

>> Yeah.

...

>> Well, let me just check up with what

...

I've got here.好的。看，038 是

...

not the number for this floor. 038 是

...

Atlanta.

...

胡椒。

...

[笑声]

...

>> None for me.

...

>> 抱歉。 As I was saying, the store

...

number is wrong and I'm sorry, but that

...

是天哪。 [笑声]

...

>> 好的。

...

>> Oh yeah.哦，是的。

...

>> 对不起。对不起。 I'm going to have

...

给您回电。 I've got Shmp in my

...

办公室。

...

>> [laughter]

...

>> What are you doing?

...

>> I'm sorry, but um Hey.哦，有人的

...

挂断电话。 How about a glass of wine

...

在火边？ I'd get it going again if

...

you

...

>> Do you realize this is the first time in

...

my life I'm doing something I actually

...

关心什么？ This is the first time in my

...

life I'm doing something that I'm

...

其实很擅长。我的意思是，如果你不

...

get that.

...

>> No. Hey, I get that.好的。 I get that

...

很开心。 And I'm happy for you, but I'm

...

tired of having a relationship with your

...

答录机。好的。 I don't know

...

what to do anymore.

...

>> Well, neither do I.

...

Is this about Mark?

...

>> 天哪。

...

>> 好吧，事实并非如此。

...

>> 天啊。我不能一直拥有相同的

...

一遍又一遍地战斗。罗斯，不。

...

You're you're you're making this too

...

很难。

...

>> 哦，我是我把这件事搞得太难了。 Okay,

...

what do you want me to do?

...

>> I don't know.我不知道。看，也许

...

我们应该休息一下。

...

>> Okay.好吧，好吧。你说得对。 Let's uh

...

我们休息一下吧。让我们冷静一下。

...

Okay.我们来点冷冻酸奶或者

...

something.

...

No.

...

A break from us.

...

>> It's the worst thing that can happen on

...

anniversary ever.

...

>> 哦，很好。好的。您决定告诉

...

关于理查德的事情。

...

[laughter]

...

>> 什么？理查德什么东西？

...

>> 哦，不。

...

理查德怎么想？

...

>> 西蒙斯。和西蒙斯一起去吧[laughter]

...

>> 好的。我嗯我昨天遇到了理查德

...

然后他问我是否想去参加

...

咬了一口，我就咬了。这也是

的唯一原因

我没有告诉你是因为我知道

...

你会生气，但我不想剧透

...

我们的周年纪念日。

...

>> 我没有生气。 [笑声]

...

>> 真的吗？

...

>> 哦，是的。是的。所以你遇到了

...

Richard. You grabbed a bite. [laughter]

...

>> No big deal.

...

>> Great.

...

>> 好的，伦敦的。

...

>> 我们应该去旅行。

...

>> 我们应该吗？

...

>> 是的。我们是情侣，这就是

...

couples do.我想见见你的

...

家长。我们应该和你的

一起去旅行

PARENTS.

...

我认为我们不需要这样做，因为你

...

现在就把我绊倒了。

...

>> Are you okay?

...

>> No, I am. I actually am. I mean, this is

...

amazing.我一生都在害怕

...

this place.现在我来了，

...

就像，有什么大不了的？ I mean, I

...

可能会说，“我们搬进去

...

together." And I'd be okay.

...

>> 您可能希望我们搬进去

...

together.

...

这并没有吓到我。

...

>> 是的，好吧，这让我害怕。 I mean, I'm

...

还没离婚呢，钱德勒。 You

...

知道，你刚刚邀请我来这里

...

意大利面，突然你就像

...

谈论和我一起搬家

...

甚至没那么饿。

...

>> You know what?已经很晚了

...

而我应该嗯

...

>> Oh, no.不，别走。我吓到你了。

...

我说得太多了。我很绝望并且

...

对爱情感到尴尬和绝望。

...

[笑声]

...

嘿，珍妮丝，是我。嗯，[清嗓子]

...

yeah, I I just wanted to apologize in

...

advance for having chased you down the

...

街。

...

[音乐]

...

>> 她又把鸡送了回来。

...

>> She said it's too dry now and she wants

...

回到这里向您解释

...

正是她想要的。

...

>> 好吧，好吧。我想见见这个

...

鸡肉专家。派上校进来。

...

>> [笑声]

...

>> 天啊。

...

[欢呼和掌声]

...

幸运的混蛋。

...

>> 珍妮丝，

...

>> how are you, Miss Hot Shot Chef at the

...

豪华的大餐厅，提供最好的

...

吃过鸡吗？

...

[笑声]

...

>> 我很好。

...

>> 哦，你手指上的是什么？我是

...

盲目。

...

>> [笑声]

...

>> 嗯，那么谁是幸运儿呢？

...

[laughter]

...

>> 天哪，

...

我很抱歉，亲爱的。你还好吗？

...

[笑声]

...

你没有告诉她我们要

...

结婚了，是吗？

...

>> 好吧，她看到了戒指。

...

>> 她吓坏了吗？

...

>> Well, she was shocked when I told her,

...

但话又说回来，大多数人也是如此，

...

>> 对吧？

...

Well, she actually has a boyfriend, you

...

know, herself.名字叫克拉克。呃，她

...

也邀请自己参加我们的

...

婚礼。克拉克也是。

...

>> 你说不，对吗？

...

>> 啊？ [笑声]

...

你说不，对吗？

...

>> Well, she cornered me and she asked me

...

（如果婚礼在城里举行）。我的意思是，什么

...

我应该做什么？

...

>> 为什么？ [笑声]

...

这有多难？您的支票在

...

邮件。哦，你的宝宝真可爱。我

...

[笑声]

...

我迫不及待地想读你的书，罗斯。

...

>> 于是她就来参加婚礼了。也许

...

不会那么糟糕。

...

>> When do you think she's just going to

...

静静地坐在那里？你不认为她是

...

想要干杯吗？你不

...

think she's going to want to grab the

...

麦克风和唱歌兼职情人？

...

>> 天哪。她不会喜欢

...

那天晚上也有鸡，是吗？

...

[笑声]

...

>> 你知道吗？一切都会好起来的。

...

你知道吗？她可能不会去

...

甚至想来。

...

>> 真的吗？

...

>> 不，那是谎言。

...

看看这有多简单吗？

...

>> 所以你只是撒谎了？

...

>> 是的。

...

>> 真的那么容易吗？

...

>> 是的。

...

>> 好。所以周六晚上就这样做吧，因为我们

...

和她还有克拉克一起去吃晚饭。

...

现在

...

>> 你整个早上都很安静。是

...

一切都好吗？嗯。

...

>> 你确定你没事吗？

...

>> 是的。

...

>> 好的。嗯，好吧，我要去呃抓住

...

我们吃点早餐。

...

>> 仅供参考，

...

>> 就在那里。

...

>> In the future, when a girl asks for some

...

不明智的同情性，就这么做吧。

...

[笑声]

...

>> 等等，什么？你呃，你生我的气了

...

关于昨晚的事？我只是想

...

做正确的事。真的吗？嗯，

...

seems to me if you had done the right

...

thing, I would not have woken up today

...

感到愚蠢和尴尬。我会

...

醒来时感觉很舒服，

...

满意。

...

[笑声]

...

>> 好吧，

...

>> 哦，别这样了。

...

>> 我简直不敢相信。什么？我当时只是

...

做一个好人。我用

对待你

尊重和理解。

...

>> 哦，太热了。

...

>> 嘿，[笑声]我在寻找

...

你。

...

>> 哦，真的吗？好吧，罗斯，你知道吗？我

...

是一个大女孩了。我不需要人

...

telling me what is best for me.

...

>> 我不得不说，我没有做过很多次性行为

之前

次。这是有史以来最糟糕的一次。

...

>> 哦，真的吗？真的吗？嗯，这不太

...

对我也有好处。

...

>> 哦，好吧。 You know, hey, hey, you know

...

什么？你知道吗？为了避免这种情况

...

以后的小事，我们就

...

说你和我再也不会发生性关系。

...

>> 什么？

...

>> 没错。性是不可能的。我是

...

不再与你发生性关系。

...

[笑声]

...

好的。

...

>> 看，

...

>> 她偷了我的牛仔裤。

...

>> 什么？

...

>> 我整个星期都在寻找它们

...

and she is wearing them.

...

>> 所以，她偷了你的裤子，然后她

...

came back and wore them in front of you.

...

>> 你没看到吗？这是一次完美的犯罪。

...

>> 她一定是为了

而计划的

年。

...

我会向你证明这一点。好的。关于

...

周前，我穿着那条牛仔裤，

...

我把一支笔掉在腿上，留下了

...

裤裆处有墨迹。现在，当她

...

回来，我会找到它并给你看

...

那个污渍。

...

>> 我们不应该让她受益于

...

在我们去窥探她之前先怀疑一下

...

胯部？

...

>> 嘿。嘿。

...

>> 你还有时间吗？

...

>> 当然。当然。进来吧。

...

>> 你好，亲爱的。嗯，

...

你们在这儿做什么？

...

>> 呃，我们是来和你分手的。

...

>> 你们俩。

...

>> Basically, we think you're a horrible

...

human being and bad things should happen

...

给你。

...

>> 对不起。对不起，上帝。我很抱歉。

...

我是个白痴。我很虚弱。我我不能

...

帮助我自己。无论我做了什么，我只是做了

...

因为我非常爱你。

...

>> Uh, which one of us are you talking to

...

在那儿，小熊？ [笑声]

...

明迪。明迪。当然，明迪。这是

...

总是明迪。

...

>> Even when we were having sex in that

...

椅子。看，

...

>> 我发誓。看，无论我在做什么，我

...

一直想着你。

...

>> 哦，拜托。在第二次期间，您

...

不可能从

中认出她

阵容。

...

>> 你做了两次。

...

>> Well, the first time didn't really

...

计数。我的意思是，你知道，那是巴里。

...

We're already late for Phoe's birthday

...

晚餐。所以，你要发布

...

香烟。我们要把这场战斗放在

...

握住并开始做爱。

...

>> 很好。什么？

...

>> 性？这是我

的最后一天

ovulating and if we if we don't do it

...

now, then I'm gonna have to wait till

下个月

。

...

>> 你是认真的吗？ [笑声]

...

>> 哦，是的。

...

>> 好吧，好吧。我会做的。但没有

...

说话

...

>> 并且没有拥抱。

...

>> 并且不要亲吻你的脖子。

...

>> 哦，很好。我讨厌你这样做。

...

[cheering]

...

>> And lots of kissing your neck.

...

Hello.

...

>> 你好。罗斯在吗？

...

>> Uh, no he's not.我可以留言吗？

...

>> 是的。 This is Russell, Ross' divorce

...

lawyer. Just tell him that since I

...

haven't heard from him, I assume he's

...

decided to give the marriage a try.

...

>> Ross got married again? [screaming] No.

...

[笑声]

...

>> All right, keep going. We are phasing

...

the accent out.逐步淘汰它。

...

So without retesting their results in

...

实验室，

...

the team would never have identified

...

the initial errors in their carbon

...

dating analysis. [笑声]

...

Were there any questions at this point?

...

>> 是的。

...

>> What's happening to your accent?

...

[笑声]

...

>> Come again.这是什么废话？

...

[笑声]

...

All right.我不是英国人。

...

我来自长岛。

...

I was really nervous and the accent just

...

um just came out. [笑声]

...

I'm sorry.

...

So, if we could just get back to the

...

lecture.

...

Um,

...

were there any questions

...

[笑声]

...

about paleontology?

...

All right.看，我只是想

...

make a good first impression. Obviously,

...

I screwed up. But what you guys think of

...

me is really important because I'm I'm

...

希望能在这里找到一份长期工作。 So,

...

if you just give me another chance to

...

留下好印象。

...

>> 拉斯，你疯了吗？ I AM STILL YOUR

...

WIFE?你永远不会去做什么

...

TELL ME?

到底出了什么问题

YOU? [laughter]

...

我可以杀了你。

...

[笑声]

...

>> Well, Rachel,

...

>> you two were involved in a serious

...

关系真正创建了

...

problem.

...

>> 罗斯，法官大人，请放心

...

relationship ended two years ago. And

...

您可以点击“完成”吗？喜欢

...

Bunnies from the record?

...

Is [laughter] there anything in this

...

record that is actually true?

...

>> Uh well, yes. We uh we got married in

...

维加斯，呃，还有我想的名字。

...

>> 好吧，根据我所听到的，你们两个

...

certainly don't qualify for an anolment.

...

>> 如果你不想在一起，你就会

...

have to file for divorce.

...

>> That's great. You happy now? Look what

...

you did with your funny funny form.

...

>> What me? What about YOU AND YOUR

...

CONSUMMATED LIKE BUNNIES NONSENSE?

...

NOW, what are you typing that for? She

...

already said we don't get the anulment.

...

Don't type that.什么？停止打字。 Hey,

...

stop typing.

...

Stop typing.停止打字。

...

>> Okay.你看到了吗？你看到什么了吗

...

让我结婚？

...

>> 你需要离开我的房间。

...

>> All right. Look, lady. Here is the deal.

...

我来这里是为了安息，我是

...

在我得到一个之前不要离开这里。

...

>> 您想在

过夜吗

jail?

...

>> Okay.感谢您抽出时间。

...

>> 你的眼睛为什么这么大？

...

>> You tell me. [laughter]

...

也许是因为我只是在开玩笑

...

around with my ex.哦，不。 No, no, no,

...

NO. THAT WAS YOU.

...

>> Oh my god.

...

>> All right.

...

>> 你怎么知道的？

...

>> 乔伊告诉我他看到你们两个接吻

...

>> 在公园里。 [欢呼]

...

>> 不，在他的办公室。

有多少个吻

在那里？

...

>> 就这两个。

...

>> WH 为什么为什么为什么要接吻？那里

...

should be no kissing.哦，对不起，

...

亲爱的。我就那么那么那么

...

我非常非常抱歉。我只是但是我哦，什么

...

发生的事情是我我我无法呼吸。是否

...

你给我买个包什么的吗？

...

>> 在这里。这里。

...

>> 那里。

...

[笑声]

...

这是收据。

...

>> 我会接受的。

...

>> 这是一个错误。我犯了一个错误。

...

好的。

...

>> 错误？你想放什么

...

它在吗？她的钱包。

...

在哪里？他把它放在哪里了？ [笑声]

...

>> 罗斯，你和另一个女人发生了性关系。

...

>> 天啊。

...

>> 天啊。我知道肯定出了什么问题

...

因为我的指甲在

时还没有长出来

都是昨天。

...

>> 是的。嗯，我猜他们吵架了

...

他喝醉了。

...

>> 你们知道这件事，但你们却不知道

...

告诉我们。

...

>> He had sex and we get hit in our heads.

...

>> 你知道吗？我要你离开。获取

...

离开这里。出去吧。

...

>> 不，我知道。我想留下来。我想要

...

谈谈这个。

...

>> 好的。好的。她怎么样？

...

>> 呃哦。

...

>> 什么

...

>> 她好吗？

...

>> 不要回答这个问题。 [笑声]

...

>> Rose，你说你想谈谈

...

它。我们来谈谈吧。她怎么样？

...

>> 她太糟糕了。

...

>> 她不好。不好。没什么

...

与

相比

她她与众不同。哦。

...

>> 呃。

...

>> 好。不同的。

...

>> 没有人喜欢改变。

...

>> 我们应该做点什么吗？

...

>> 是的。永远不要欺骗雷切尔。

...

>> 对不起。好的。对不起。我当时是

...

对自己感到厌恶，然后这

...

早上我真是太难过了

...

然后我收到了你的消息，我很感动

...

很高兴，我只想得到她

...

尽快离开我的公寓。

...

>> 你的小朋友几点离开的？

...

[笑声]

...

>> 天哪。她就在那儿。

...

>> 她还在那里。她在那里

...

当我在那里的时候。

...

[尖叫]

...

问你。

...

>> 听着。哦，嘿。嘿。重要的

...

事情是她的意思是她对

毫无意义

我。

...

>> 但她还是值得危及我们的

...

关系。

...

>> 看，我没想到有

...

关系受到威胁。我以为我们

...

已分解。

...

>> 我们正在休息。

...

>> 据我所知，这会永远持续下去。

...

这对我来说就是分手。

...

>> 你认为你会摆脱

...

这有技术性吗？

...

>> 我并没有试图摆脱任何事情，

...

可以吗？我以为我们的关系是

...

死了。好吧，你确实玩得很开心

...

守灵时间。 [笑声]

...

>> 你知道吗？我认为我们不应该

...

再听这个吧。

...

>> 你在做什么？我不能出去

...

在那里。

...

>> 为什么不呢？我饿了。

...

[笑声]

...

>> 因为他们会知道我们

...

聆听。天啊，我一定要听听

...

来自冈瑟。

...

>> 来吧。就像我想让他告诉你的那样，

...

我跑遍了所有地方，试图让

...

确定这没有发生。

...

>> 哦，太甜了。

...

我想我已经爱上你们了

再次

。

...

>> 你知道吗？ I think we can go out

...

在那里。 I mean, they have more important

...

things to worry about.

...

>> Yeah, we'll be fine.

...

>> Look, Rachel, I wanted to tell you.我

...

我想我应该这样做。我我做到了。然后

...

Chandler and Joey convinced me not to.

...

[笑声]

...

>> Wax the door shut. We're never leaving

...

起。我

...

>> I love your breasts the way they are. H

...

法西斯。 [笑声]

...

>> 好吧，我的胸部会变大

...

whether you like it or not.还有你

...

知道什么吗？ It's not just my breasts.我的

...

ass is going to get bigger, too.

...

>> 你的屁股？

...

[笑声]

...

>> 是的。 And don't be surprised if her

...

hands and her feet get bigger, too.

...

>> 他们这样做？

...

>> It's kind of a package deal.

...

>> 天哪，为什么？ Why would you want to do that

...

给你自己？

...

>> 我以为这是我们俩的事情

...

想要。 [哼哼]全部

...

对了，看。 If it means that much to

...

你，我也许可以加入

...

大胸部，但巨大的屁股和

...

小丑大脚。 [笑声]

...

>> Oh my god, Chandler. If you can't handle

...

这个，你在

会是什么样子

the hospital with the blood and the

...

尖叫声和

的小人

shooting out of her? [笑声]

...

>> 什么？

...

>>哦。哦。

...

哎呀。 Oh, I seem to have dropped my

...

叉子。

...

Let me just bend over and get it.

...

[笑声]

...

[笑声]

...

天啊。

...

[笑声]

...

>> 好吧，够了。这就是这不会

...

发生。

...

>> 哦，来吧，罗斯。我在这里很痛苦。

...

来吧。你开始了这个。现在你

...

完成它。

...

>> 来吧，韦斯特。对我有很大的爱。

...

>> [笑声]

...

>> 你知道吗？

...

>> 什么？

...

>> 算了。

...

>> 哦，哇。什么？现在，罗斯，你不是

...

要说话吗？你到底会怎样

...

曾经惹恼过我吗？

...

哦，等一下。我知道。

...

[哼哼]

...

>> I mean, you think the damn jalapeno

...

would have cleared up your sinuses, but

...

不，这还不够。你是什么

...

在做什么？我要把那个孩子从你身上夺走。

...

[欢呼]

...

>> 天啊。

...

>> 哦，我知道。

...

>> 哦不。

...

>> 我想我的羊水刚刚破了。

...

>> 我很好。 [笑声]

...

[欢呼]

...

>> 莫妮卡，

...

>> 她正在睡觉。

...

[笑声]

...

我知道。只是快快快的问题。

...

Which one was Deep Impact and which one

...

是世界末日？

...

[笑声]

...

>> Deep Impact was the one with Robert

...

德瓦尔。世界末日即将到来

如果你叫醒我，

就会发生在你身上。

...

[笑声]

...

>> 抱歉，我睡不着。

...

Where is that book that you were reading

...

with the two women who were ice skating

...

and wearing wearing those hats with the

...

上面有花吗？因为每次我看

...

在那个封面上，我想，

...

>> it is in the living room where there is

...

also a light and no one will kick you in

...

小腿。

...

>> 什么？噢。

...

对不起。我想也许我应该做一些

...

温牛奶，它会帮助我入睡

...

>> 散步。

...

[笑声]

...

>> 以为你会读我无聊的

...

本书可以让你入睡。

...

>> 事情变得有趣了。

...

该死的，奥普拉。 [笑声]

...

>> 来，我来煮牛奶。我起来了

无论如何

。

...

>> 嘿，你知道我们能做什么吗？你

...

知道，现在我们已经起来了，我们可以

...

喜欢整夜互相交谈，

...

你知道，就像我们刚开始时那样

...

出去。 It'd be fun.

...

>> 好吧，听起来很有趣。

...

>> 是的。那么，当

出现时，您有多沮丧？

二姐死了？啊？

...

>> 二姐去世。 [笑声]

...

>> No,

...

[笑声]

...

没有。我我我正在谈论我

的书

正在阅读，

...

>> 二姐死在阿奇和尤格

...

头双重消化。 [笑声]

...

>> 是的。

...

>> 我正在说话，我是如此

...

对大厅被推倒感到不安

...

，她建议我们只放置

...

婚礼暂时结束。

...

>> 她说什么？

...

>> 她说，“如果我不高兴

...

在我们可以的地方结婚

...

一天之内找到，那么我们应该

...

postpone it.

...

推迟吧。

...

>> 艾米丽，你认为莫妮卡意识到

...

我们的父母在这场婚礼上花了多少钱？

...

啊？你觉得我妹妹很小吗

...

小脑袋明白人

...

花费了他们一生的时间来飞行

...

数千英里才来到这里？啊？

...

[笑声]

...

>> 这是不对的。

...

>> 我意识到人们会成为

...

disappointed.

...

但我确信当我们

时他们会回来

可以做对。

...

>> Well, I can't ask people to do that.

...

Would you ask people to do that?

...

>> Don't you point your pants at me.

...

[笑声]

...

>> We have no choice. Anywhere that's half

...

decent will have been booked months ago.

...

Ross, don't you understand? This is our

...

wedding I'm talking about.

...

>> The only thing I understand is

...

postponing it is not an option. This is

...

when we're getting married.

...

>> So, what are you saying? It's now or

...

never?

...

>> No, I'm saying it's now

...

>> or.

...

>> There's no or in mine.出了什么问题

...

穿这条裤子？

...

>> It's not the pants.是你

...

backwards. And if and if you don't

...

了解这对我来说有多重要，

...

well then perhaps we shouldn't be

...

getting married at all.

...

>> 什么？ Emily, NO.等待。停止。艾米丽，

...

请。

...

>> OH.

...

>> 嘿。

...

>> HEY.

...

>> 你知道，我真的很高兴我们决定

...

not to sleep together before the

...

wedding.

...

>> Oh, boy.我也是。 [laughter] You know, I

...

was thinking if we had a a big fight

...

>> and uh we broke up for a few hours.

...

>> Yeah.

...

>> Technically,

...

we could have sex again.

...

>> What do you think? Bossy and doineering.

...

[笑声]

...

>> The wedding is off. Sloppy and immature.

...

>> 这就是我。

...

My cousin Cassie's in the guest room.

...

We're supposed to have lunch.

...

>> Well, get rid of her.痴迷和

...

尖锐。

...

>> Shrill.婚礼又开始了。

...

>> Maybe we should go.不，你们，你们

...

really don't have to go.我们完成了

...

talking. But

...

>> come on. Look, I know how you must

...

>> No, you don't, Ross. Imagine the worst

...

things you think about yourself. Now,

...

how would you feel if the one person

...

that you trusted the most in the world

...

not only thinks them, too, but actually

...

uses them as reasons not to be with you?

...

>> No, but but see, I want to be with you

...

in spite of all those things.

...

>> Oh, well, that's that's mighty big of

...

you, Ross. I said don't go. [laughter]

...

>> You know what?你知道吗？ If if

...

things were the other way around, there

...

is nothing you could put on a list that

...

would that would ever make me not want

...

to be with you.

...

>> Well, then I guess that's the difference

...

between us. See, God never make a list.

...

>> What do we do?

...

>> What do you mean what do we do?

...

>> Twint.

...

Twint.

...

>> Taylor, you're panicking.嗯嗯。 Join

...

me, won't you? [笑声]

...

>> 好的。 What do you say we keep one and

...

then just like have an option on the

...

other one?

...

>> We can't split them up.

...

>> Why not? We could give each of them half

...

a medallion and then years later they'll

...

find each other [laughter]

...

and be reunited.

...

>> I mean, that's a great day for

...

everybody. [laughter]

...

>> Okay. What if the person who adopts the

...

other one is horrible?

...

>> What if they're not? What if it's

...

adopted by a king? Yeah, because I hear

...

the king is looking to adopt. [笑声]

...

>> Michael, we are not ready to have two

...

babies.

...

>> That doesn't matter.我们已经等了

...

渴望这个。 I don't care if it's two

...

个宝宝。 I don't care if it's three

...

个宝宝。 I don't care if the entire cast

...

of eight is enough comes out of there.

...

>> 嗯，这件事发生在大约六周前

...

而且呃我刚刚下班回家

...

罗斯已经在那里了，因为我猜

...

he'd been hanging out with Joey.

...

>> You're welcome, buddy.

...

>> [laughter]

...

[鼓掌]

...

>> 是的，谢谢。 [笑声]

...

>> 所以我有很多工作要做，

...

罗斯，他是个好人，主动提出要

...

帮帮我。 And then we had a little

...

酒。 We got to talking and next thing

...

你知道，罗斯突然出现

...

给我。 [笑声]

...

>> That's That's a little misleading.

...

>> 什么是

...

>> the lie you just told [laughter]

...

>> that that you came on to me?这是

...

一个。

...

>> 但你做到了。我们可以说实话。

...

>> 是的。让我们

...

[笑声]

...

>> 你知道吗？呃，这不是

...

重要。重要的是

...

我们要生孩子了，但不是

...

doesn't matter who came on to who.谁。

...

>> 没错。

...

[笑声]

...

>> You know, you kissed me first.

...

>> 什么？什么？你求我亲吻

...

你。你你你在向我发送信号

...

到处都是。

...

>> 我正在向你发送信号。哦，拜托。

...

好的。这个房间里的任何人都认为我

...

实际上会让罗斯乞求

...

信号？请秀出双手。

...

[笑声]

...

>> 你知道，这并不重要。它没有

...

matter what people believe. What matters

...

就是发生的事情。

...

>> 好的。 Well, so these signals, Ross,

...

向我解释一下，因为也许我需要

...

要更加小心。 I mean, am I sending

...

you these signals right now?

...

>> 你知道吗？你知道吗，雷切尔？

...

就这样吧。

...

>> No, please show me how I begged you.

...

>> I can show you.我有录像带。

...

[笑声]

...

想要

...

>> interesting.

...

[笑声]

...

>> Anyway,

...

um probably worked out for the best.

...

>> 是的，当然。

...

>> 好的。 In about 10 seconds, you're going

...

to see him kiss me.大约五分钟后

...

seconds, you're going to see why.

...

>> 罗斯，我有没有告诉过你那个时间

...

我去西部背包旅行

...

欧洲？

...

[笑声]

...

[笑声]

...

>> Hey, get ready to see some begging.

...

>> OH, YOU CAME ON to Ross.

...

[笑声]

...

>> 什么？现在我很高兴。

...

>> What are you talking about?

...

>> 您使用欧洲故事。

...

>> 这就是您在

时使用的神奇故事

想要做爱。 [笑声]

...

>> How do you know about that story?

...

>> How do you know about that story?

...

[laughter]

...

>> 我是从我的朋友艾琳那里听到的，她

...

heard it from some guy.

...

>> 某个人？ [欢呼]

...

[applause]

...

>> 不。不。她告诉我他的名字是

...

Ken Adams.

...

[cheering]

...

[笑声]

...

>> 肯·亚当斯。

...

>> I'm so sorry.请别再惊慌了。

...

>> 我没有吓坏。

...

[laughter]

...

>> 为什么我会害怕？ A woman

...

名叫希尔迪 (Hildy) 打电话说我们

...

getting married, but that happens every

...

天。

...

[鼓掌]

...

>> Honey, we were at this beautiful place

...

and I I I just put our names down for

...

有趣。我的意思是，这有什么坏处？

...

>> 就在这里，妈妈。 [笑声]

...

>> TAYLOR, please don't think I was trying

...

给你施加压力。菲比和瑞秋刚刚

...

认为

...

>> 菲比和瑞秋。所以，人们

...

knew about our wedding before me were

...

你、菲比和瑞秋、希尔迪和

...

显然是某个乐队称为

...

Starlight Magic 7, who are available, by

...

方式。 [笑声]

...

>> 这是一个错误。 Please don't take this

...

意味着任何事情，因为它没有。

...

好的。

...

>> 真的吗？

...

>> 是的。如果这真的没有任何意义

...

因为你知道我不是

...

ready.

...

>> 我知道。我知道。

...

>> 好的。

...

>> 好吧。 I'm going to go tell Joey

...

你回来了。 He's really

...

担心你。

...

Hey, did she buy it?

...

完全可以。

...

>> 那么，希莉带你去了那个地方吗？

...

>> 是的，很漂亮。

...

[cheering]

...

>> I can't believe you're going to ask

...

Monica to marry you.

...

>> 我知道。

...

[欢呼]

...

>> 你好。我的名字是旧车。

...

>> May I please stay with you nice people?

...

>> Oh, I wish you could stay here, but

...

Chandler is allergic.

...

>> Extremely allergic.好的。如果我是

...

anywhere near a dog for more than 5

...

minutes, my throat will just close up.

...

>> That's odd, cuz this dog's been living

...

。 [笑声]

...

>> 真的，

...

[笑声]泰勒？如果狗已经

...

在这里那么久，你还没有

...

反应，也许你对

不过敏

这只狗。

...

>> 好吧，它还是得走，对吧？

...

>> 为什么？

...

好的，嗯

...

>> 不要这样做。 [笑声]

...

>> 不做什么？

...

>> 我必须这样做。

...

>> 好的，时间到了。

...

[笑声]

...

>> 好的。我讨厌狗。

...

>> 什么？什么？

...

>> 疯狂。

...

>> 告诉你了。

...

>> 他们很需要帮助。他们很神经质。还有你

...

不知道他们在想什么。还有

...

这让我有点害怕。 [笑声]

...

你是

...

>> 对。他们很可怕。她刚刚吃了

...

从我手中拿走。 [笑声]

...

>> 等一下。你不喜欢所有的狗吗？

...

我的意思是，连小狗也不行。

...

>> 这里有一只小狗吗？

...

>> 你不喜欢小狗？好的，你是

...

新。

...

>> [笑声]

...

>> 听着，钱德勒，我告诉过你永远不要说出去

...

任何关于狗的事情的人。就像

...

罗斯不喜欢冰淇淋。

...

>> 你不喜欢冰淇淋？

...

>> 太冷了。

...

[笑声]

...

>> 好吧，只是狗让我有点

...

不舒服。伤害我的牙齿。

...

[笑声]

...

我不想这么说。我不

...

希望你们恨我，但呃我不

...

我想我可以再和那只狗在一起了。

...

好吧，要么狗走，要么我走。

...

啊？

...

[笑声]

...

>> 天哪。

...

[笑声]

...

>> 好吧，菲比，我们也许应该回去

现在

。

...

>> 请不要离开我。我会很孤独。

...

[笑声]

...

停止吧。停止。好吧，我们走吧。好吧，我们

...

可以很强大。

...

>> 是的。好的。

...

>> 天哪。你听到了吗？她说，

...

“莫妮卡，

...

[笑声]

...

我不能离开她。”

...

>> 你知道，如果你愿意，我们可以偷偷溜走

...

狗回来了，但钱德勒不肯

...

甚至知道。那是行不通的。我

...

那只狗在那里待了 3 天，

...

钱德勒不知道。他没那么聪明。

...

>> 嘿，[笑声]

...

我也不知道。

...

>> 是的，但你有点知道

...

有什么事发生了，不是吗？

...

>> 是的，我知道。

...

>> 嗨，亲爱的。

...

拜托，拜托，请不要对

生气

我。

...

>> 什么？为什么？为什么要观望？也许

...

我们会的。也许我们不会。 [笑声]

...

>> 好的。我去了罗斯的公寓

...

为你带回旧物。

...

然后我[清了清嗓子]没有关门

...

她一定已经出去了，而我

...

到处寻找

...

公寓，包括屋顶，

...

仅供参考，罗斯，你的一位邻居正在种植

...

杂草。

...

我找不到他，我很一般

...

抱歉。但我确实知道我们可以在哪里

...

走吧。减轻疼痛。 [笑声]

...

>> 我们有好消息。看看谁回来了。

...

>> 嘿，看。我的天啊。

...

>> 没错。她在

之前回来了

她自己。这是感恩节的奇迹。

...

很高兴见到你。

...

>> 然而她却千里迢迢地从

回来了

罗斯的大楼。哦，她必须

...

看过。 [笑声]

...

>> 然后她爬上消防梯

...

然后她用

敲击窗户

小小的爪子。然后我们跑去让

...

她进来了。[笑声]

...

我太过分了，不是吗？

...

我什么时候应该停止？ [笑声]

[英语] Show

重点词汇

词汇	含义
cheater /ˈtʃiːtər/ B2	noun - 骗子 (piànzi)
breakup /ˈbreɪkʌp/ B2	noun - 分手 (fēnshǒu)
relationship /rɪˈleɪʃənˌʃɪp/ B2	noun - 关系 (guānxi)
marriage /ˈmærɪdʒ/ B2	noun - 婚姻 (hūnyīn)
pregnant /ˈprɛgnənt/ B1	adjective - 怀孕的 (huáiyùn de)
guest /ɡɛst/ A2	noun - 客人 (kèrén)
arcade /ɑːrˈkeɪd/ B2	noun - 游戏厅 (yóuxì tīng)
coffee /ˈkɒfi/ A1	noun - 咖啡 (kāfēi)
apology /əˈpɒlədʒi/ B2	noun - 道歉 (dàoqiàn)
letter /ˈlɛtər/ A2	noun - 信 (xìn)
sleep /sliːp/ A1	verb - 睡觉 (shuìjiào)
break /breɪk/ A2	verb - 休息 (xiūxí)
marry /ˈmæri/ B1	verb - 结婚 (jiéhūn)
room /ruːm/ A1	noun - 房间 (fángjiān)
commitment /kəˈmɪtmənt/ B2	noun - 承诺 (chéngnuò)
awkward /ˈɔːkwərd/ B2	adjective - 尴尬的 (gāngà de)
anniversary /ˌænɪˈvɜːrsəri/ B2	noun - 周年纪念 (zhōunián jìniàn)
husband /ˈhʌzbənd/ A2	noun - 丈夫 (zhàngfu)
wife /waɪf/ A2	noun - 妻子 (qīzi)
panic /ˈpænɪk/ B2	noun - 恐慌 (kǒnghuāng)

“cheater” 在 "" 中是什么意思？

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重点语法结构

I didn't know what I was taking responsibility for.

➔ 间接疑问句 / 嵌入式 wh‑从句

➔ 从句 **"what I was taking responsibility for"** 作动词 "know" 的宾语。
We were on a break.

➔ 一般过去时 + 成语性介词短语

➔ 短语 **"on a break"** 是固定搭配，意为暂时分手。
If time was what you needed just to gain a little perspective, we were on a break.

➔ 第二类条件句，if 从句中含名词性从句

➔ 动词 **"was"** 表示一个虚拟的过去情景，**"what you needed"** 是名词性从句，作 "time" 的补语。
It was 5:30 in the morning and you had rambled on for 18 pages.

➔ 过去完成时，表明动作在另一过去时刻之前已完成

➔ 动词 **"had rambled"**（过去完成时）表明此事发生在 "5:30 in the morning" 之前。
I fell asleep.

➔ 一般过去时的自动词

➔ 动词 **"fell"**（"fall"的过去式）不带宾语，因为 "sleep" 是主体进入的状态。
I didn't finish the whole letter.

➔ 否定一般过去时 + 直接宾语

➔ 助动词 **"didn't"** 否定动词 "finish"，**"the whole letter"** 是直接宾语。
I love you like a friend.

➔ 使用 "like" 的明喻（名词）

➔ 单词 **"like"** 引入比较，**"a friend"** 是被比较的名词。
You should've told me earlier.

➔ 情态动词 + 完成不定式（should have + 过去分词）

➔ 缩写 **"should've"** 代表 **"should have"**，表示过去未完成的义务。
I'm sorry for keeping the answering machine.

➔ 介词后接动名词（for + 动名词）

➔ 介词 **"for"** 后面跟着动名词 **"keeping"**，它像名词一样表明道歉的原因。

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