– 英语/中文 双语歌词

歌词与翻译

[中文]

大家好。你好。

>> 嘿。怎么了？好吧，这只是

，这是我

讨厌的情况之一。您知道，一位按摩客户给了我

三张摩根大通博物馆头盔毛皮

展览的门票。

>> 现在您想

和他们一起睡觉。

>> 不，不。只是他给了我三张

票，而我们是六个人。

>> 我会放弃我的票。我也是。

>> 好的。真是太慷慨了。

>> 我认为罗斯也很慷慨。

太棒了。好吧，那就只有我们女孩了。

太棒了。

>> 是的。

>> 那么，展览是什么？

>> 大部分只是嗯

女同性恋爱情场景的照片，其中点缀着

视频游戏和免费三明治。

>> 哦，伙计。

>> 嘿。

>> 你好。

>> 嘿，罗斯。听着，钱德勒带你在这个周末

去女同性恋三明治博物馆

。

>> 嘿。

>> 嘿，别。你猜怎么着？什么？乔伊刚刚

聘请钱德勒作为他的助理。

>> 噢，太甜蜜了。哦，坚持住。

等一下。

走吧。

不，不，不。我说当它达到 50 时卖出。

5. 这是一个数字。它出现在 49 之后。

不，没关系。没关系。你可以犯

一个错误。

>> 开个玩笑。你当然被解雇了。

[音乐]

>> 等等。

坚持住。

坚持住。

走吧。这是谁？哦好的。你会

喜欢为我工作的。你的

叫什么名字？布林迪这个名字怎么样？

我随便。别说话了。

>> 好吧。嗯，从现在开始，你的名字是

琼。您可以选择自己的姓氏。

>> 不不不不等等。你不只是

坐在我的Kit Kats上，是吗？

>> 不，那里。市场略有

下跌，我损失了 13

万美元。

>> 但奇巧巧克力还可以。

>> 我要做什么？我要去

做什么？我无法给我的办公室打电话。他们会

杀了我。我无法给我的客户打电话。

他们会自杀。

太棒了。嗯，现在我的胸口很痛。

>> 什么？我的胸部很痛。

现在我无法呼吸。

>> 宝贝，你心脏病发作了吗？

>> 好吧，如果是的话，我的左臂是否会

感到一阵剧痛？

>> 是的。那么是的，这就是我所拥有的。

天啊。

>> 来吧，菲布斯。没那么糟糕。您

知道，如果

大多数人在

周内不需要工作，他们会感到兴奋。

>> 大多数人不喜欢他们的工作。我

热爱我的工作。我已经 3

小时没有工作了，我已经快疯了。我

想念琼。

>> 亲爱的，心脏病发作是大自然

告诉您放慢速度的方式。

>> 我一直认为心脏病发作

是大自然告诉你死亡的方式。

>> 但你不会死。我的意思是，你

会死，但你今天不会

死。

我希望我已经死了。

>> 我们去散步吧。你知道，也许你

应该考虑为《Your Ass》杂志的 Talking Out

撰稿。

>> 哦，就是这里。哦，乔伊，你为什么要

签名？

的儿子 >> 我没有那样做。谁会这么做

？

>>

>> 好吧，也许问问这个人。

>> 你滚出我的店。

>> 什么？他做了什么？他和我的妻子

出去了。

>> 乔伊？

>> 好吧，我我嘿，我没有和

你妻子出去。好的。我和她出去了。

>> 那是我的妻子。

>> 出去。

>> 我们该走了。

>> 在我的床上找到了你。

你在那里怎么样？你是一个

谜。

黑色小卷发。

小黑发。小黑.小

黑色。小黑.小黑.一头

黑色小卷发。

谢谢。

嗯，现在如果您想接收关于我即将上映的节目的电子邮件

，请

给我钱，以便我可以购买一台电脑。

>> 你和小女孩是那种。

你说过我们要带宝宝买

的那种。

>> 不，你说婴儿让你感到害怕。

不，这个小女孩让我毛骨悚然。

>> 你说的是宝贝。

>> 为什么婴儿会让我感到害怕？

>> 为什么这个小女孩会让你感到害怕？

>> 你们，对不起。你能说

慢一点吗？

>> 这会出现在你的书中。

>> 是的，这与人际关系有关。你

知道，陷阱，陷阱，

不该做什么。继续前进。这东西很棒。

>> 对不起。当人们真正彼此相爱时，这一切都变得无关紧要

。

>> 人们会如何相信你

告诉他们的任何事情，只要是赞美的话。

[鼓掌]

那么，你认为呃乔伊比我更有魅力吗

？

>> 是的，这就是为什么我要和他一起睡

。

>> 是的，你愿意。

>> 你愿意。

>> 别再写我们了。

>> 我不是在写你。我正在写

关于其他人的文章。

>> 谁？

>> 玛莎和切斯特。

>> 好吧，好吧。美好的。那你知道吗？我

只会写关于菲利斯的事。

>> 啊？

>> 菲利斯坐在椅子上。

>> 哦，

>> 我明白你在做什么。菲利斯看到

我在做什么。

>> 哦，我尝到了自己的药，

很苦。

>> 伙计们，看看谁回来了。

>> 嘿，二月。

>> 呼叫保安。

>> 费用。呃，你不是被解雇了吗？

>> 我不这么认为。

>> 菲比。

>> 杰克。嘿，

>> 你在这里做什么？

>> 一切都好起来了。返回工作岗位。除了这个来自研究的

小丑告诉我我被解雇了。

他应该做研究，是吧？

>> 好吧，你被解雇了。

>> 呃呃。

>> 我告诉了那个接你电话的人。

>> 哦，好吧。我没有收到该消息，因此

这不算数。不管怎样，我会在

我的办公室。

>> 呃，菲比，你你你没有

办公室。

>> 没关系。我会好好工作

在这里。这很好。在这棵植物旁边。

>> 你在我的办公室。

>> 看，我为这家

公司赚了很多钱。好吧，我说的是大钱，

比索、日元、卢布。你犯了一个小

错误。

>> 您损失了 1300 万美元。

>> 哦，现在一切都是为了钱。

你知道这已经够糟糕了。噢。哦，

你一定是在开玩笑。

>> 你还好吗？

>> 我又心脏病发作了。

>> 什么？我又心脏病发作了。

拨打 911。

>> 嘿，

>> 笨蛋。

>> 嘿，小偷。怎么样了？他们解雇了我

，我心脏病发作了。好吧，

欢迎回来。

>> 是的，我想你已经喝够了

。我只是帮助孩子们。

>> 您如何通过饮酒帮助孩子们？

>> 因为我喝得越多，给孩子们喝的

就越少。

Tribani 先生，

>> 您的慷慨捐助使我们在建设青年

一大步。

中心方面又迈出了

>> 只是出于好奇，

那艘船值多少钱？

>> 我认为它的价值为 19,000。

>> 非常接近了。

>> 呃，坏消息。嗯，我买不到

船。我没有钱。

>> 我会看看后面的衣柜。

>> 女士们，我可以节省您的时间。我就在这里

。

>> 是的。钱德勒，你为什么不去

散步呢？这与你无关。

>> 我们正在为莫妮卡寻找

圣诞礼物。

>> 什么？太可怕了。

>> 不，不，我们每年都会这样做。

>> 哦，这样

就不那么可怕了。

>> 没有。是的，我们从来没有找到它们。她

总是最适合我们。那就是水貂。

>> 是的。不用担心。我们只是要

在这里搜索一个小时，然后我们

去乔伊那里搜索。

好的。不，不行。您无法寻找

莫妮卡的礼物。

>> 哦，不。我们必须。

>> 不，你不必这样做。而你不能

因为我也住在这里。

>> 好吧，那你应该和我们一起看看。

>> 为什么？

>> 钱德勒，你不担心

给莫妮卡送什么圣诞礼物吗？

>> 不。我有一个好主意，想给她送一份礼物

。

>> 哦，是这样吗？好主意吗？我猜。

>> 钱德勒，这还不够。我的意思是，

如果她给你送了一份很棒的礼物，

两份中等大小的礼物，然后是一堆

小礼物，而你刚刚收到了

她的一份很棒的礼物怎么办？我的意思是，那

只会让她感觉很糟糕。为什么

你要这样对她，钱德勒？为什么？

为什么？

>> 如果我帮忙，我们就能更快找到他。

>> 没错。

[音乐]

我们会找到爱情。确实。

>> 是的，我对此非常有信心。

这让我很容易

为莫妮卡和钱德勒感到 80% 的高兴。

>> 不过，如果能有一点保证就好了，

。你是什​​么意思？好吧，你

知道，有些人与

朋友做交易，比如如果他们都没有

结婚，那么到了40岁的时候，他们就会

结婚。嗯。您是说

备份吗？

>> 是的，完全正确。是的。是的，我有

。

>> 你知道吗？

>> 嗯。

>> 谁？乔伊。乔伊？

>> 是的。你是认真的？是的，我几年前就锁定了

他。

>> 等等，如果你们在 40 岁时都没有结婚

，那么你会

嫁给乔伊吗？

>> 是的，我们对此表示震惊。

>> 是的，但相信我，这不是他

想要达成交易的方式。

>> 哦，认真的吗？

>> 哦，是的。我认为他的原话是

>> 迷人的。

他只是一个替补。

瑞秋不会选择你那个愚蠢的

家伙。

>> 哦，是的。

>> 是的。我的朋友是一名律师，他从事

志愿者工作，他有其中一项。

>> 一脸屁股。

>> 下巴有一个酒窝。嗯，呃，你知道，我们的

家伙与 Chandler 一起工作，他真的

很友善，很聪明，而且他的着装很棒。

你看到你男人的身体了吗？

>> 不。我们的家伙只是一个漂浮的头。

>> 嗯，我的家伙很出色。好的。他是

一位按摩客户。有一次，嗯，当

他在桌子上时，我看着它。

我的意思是所有这些。

>> 你不应该看。

>> 哦，是的。就像他们是警察一样。

>> 但你看你按摩我。

>> 我知道。

>> 好吧，好吧。你的家伙可能有

很棒的身体，但我们的家伙真的很有趣。

>> 哦，钱德勒很有趣。

>> 我们的人是一位出色的舞者。我的家伙

读书很好。

>> 我们的家伙有一头漂亮的头发。我的家伙有

颗漂亮的牙齿。

>> 我们的家伙闻起来令人难以置信。

>> 你想让我们的人成为你的人吗？

>> 我们去过

的第 900 万家戒指店，但我找不到完美的戒指。

丑陋的戒指。丑陋的戒指。丑陋的戒指。

这是一个漂亮的选择。

>> 好吧，也许你没有给她买戒指。

也许你可能会做一些

不同的事情，你知道吗？也许你给她买了

订婚手镯，你知道，或者

订婚头饰或订婚

革命战争步枪。

>> 你知道，我很高兴选择你来

帮助我解决这个问题。

>> 你不能想象一下单膝跪下

并递给她这件华丽的

武器吗？

>> 是的，我会坚持使用戒指。

>> 只需两次心脏病发作即可

最终让您明白。其中一个不会

做到这一点，但第二个会让你自由。

说出你所有的仇恨和愤怒，

是时候说再见了。这正是我

要做的。很快，当我为那些混蛋工作

而死去时，

[掌声]

[音乐]

有史以来最美丽的订婚戒指。

>> 是的。嗯，你应该知道。您购买了大约十亿个

。

>> 是的，你没有得到。

>> 好的。好吧，今晚是个重要的夜晚。

>> 嘿，听着。你要怎么问她？

>> 一切都会很完美。我正在服用

她去她最喜欢的餐厅，我

要给她买一瓶她真正喜欢的

香槟，

因此知道它有多贵。

然后，当酒杯满了时，我将

。

提议，而不是提议敬酒

>> 听起来很完美。

>> 你会把事情搞砸的。让我做

吧。

>> 我不会把事情搞砸的。

>> 如果她拒绝，我可以要戒指吗？

>> 她不会拒绝。如果

>> 嘿。

>> 嘿。

>> 嘿。

>> 给它。

>> 它消失了。

>> 菲比。

>> 我们几乎在接吻。

[音乐]

>> 嘿。

>> 嘿。嘿，你们最近在忙什么？

>> 哦，今天我们去上自卫课

。

>> 哇。

>> 是的。

整个上午都在踢一个人的胯部，真的让你很沮丧。

>> 把它从你身上夺走。

>> 不。现在我们可以踢任何人的屁股。

>> 是的。

>> 一节课之后，我不这么认为。

>> 什么？你想看我为自己辩护

吗？去那里假装你是

性掠夺者。继续。我赌你。

>> 当然，您可以防御

您知道即将发生的攻击。这还不够

。看，我学习空手道

很长一段时间，

并且有一个概念你应该真正

熟悉。这就是日本人

所说的unagi。

>> 这不是寿司吗？

>> 不，这是一个概念。

>> 是的，确实如此。这是。这是淡水

鞋跟。

>> 好吧。也许这也是这个意思。

>> 哦，我现在就想吃鲑鱼皮卷

。

不，好吧。受到攻击。我什至不在乎

。

>> 来吧，罗斯。我们很抱歉。请告诉

我们它是什么。

>> Unagi 是一种完全意识的状态。

好的。只有获得真正的鳗鱼，

您才能为可能

降临到您身上的任何危险做好准备。

>> 你的意思是万一有人试图

偷你的竹睡垫或你的

一壶鱼？

我想说的是，

为彼此

一样的攻击做好准备是一回事。又是另一个故事了。

为攻击做好准备。我不知道。

就像惊喜一样。

[笑声]

好吧。你知道那会到来。但

这并不意味着你有鳗鱼。

[鼓掌]

哦，你知道吗？如果我们预订了

，大约半小时后

就能吃到鳗鱼。

[音乐]

>> 很好。

>> 哦，是的。

[笑声]

>> 那到底是什么？

>> 关于鳗鱼重要性的一课。

[鼓掌]

>> 你是个怪胎。也许。

现在，我很好奇。在

那些女孩般的尖叫声中，你会在什么时候

开始踢我的屁股？

>> 好吧。所以，我们没有做好准备。

>> 很抱歉我不得不采取如此激烈的

措施来表达我的观点，但我看，我

只是希望你们安全。

>> 危险。

嗯。

鳗鱼

[音乐]

[掌声]

>>危险。

[笑声]

[鼓掌]

啊，

鲑鱼皮卷。

[音乐]

帕特·萨塔克。是的。亚历克斯·特贝克.哦，当然是

。查克·伍勒里。 FE。绝对是

菲比。你找不到任何一个

节目主持人我不能踢的屁股。

[笑声]

>> 说出来。说我们是鳗鱼。

这不是你的本质，而是

你所拥有的东西。

>> 说出来。

>> 你知道吗？我可以很容易地摆脱

这个，但你有可能让

非常非常受伤。

[音乐]

嗯。

无处可逃。

>> 我不喜欢坐在这里。我

要去过去。雷切尔，他们首先到达这里

。

[笑声]

>> 罗斯为什么要这么做？

>> 危险。

>> 天啊。他为什么要扑向那些

女人？

>> 我们应该帮助他们。

我认为他们不需要任何帮助。

嘿，我来了。

>> 天啊。

>> 你喜欢吗？

>> 这是我的新药剂师桌。

>> Ros Stevie 随时会在

秒到达。她看不到这一点。

>> 哦，为什么不呢？她会喜欢的。这是

真实的东西。我在陶器

谷仓得到的。

>> 我知道你做到了。我买了同款。

如果她看到你的桌子，她就会

知道我对她撒了谎。我告诉她

我们的是原创的。

>> 你为什么这么做？

>> 因为她讨厌陶器谷仓。

>> 她讨厌陶器谷仓。

>> 我知道。我知道。她说这都是

批量生产的。没有什么是真实的。

每个人最终都会拥有相同的东西。

>> 那么，来吧。她随时会在

秒到达这里。我们可以用一些东西来掩盖这个

吗？

>> 什么？不，不，我不会向菲比隐瞒

。哦。尽管如此，我确实得到了

一些很棒的陶器谷仓床单。

哦，我忘了他们做了床单。

>> 是的，

>> 我仍然不敢相信她讨厌陶器

谷仓。

>> 罗斯，克服它。她

并不讨厌你。

>> 是的，但是 Pottery Barn，

>> 你知道，当我认为她只是

很奇怪，你知道吗？这是因为她是

双胞胎。双胞胎很奇怪。

>> 罗斯，她并不奇怪。她只是喜欢

她的东西是独一无二的。啊？你

知道什么不是独一无二的吗？双胞胎。

>> 嘿。

>> 嘿。

>> 哦，菲比来了。好的。那么，让我们把

关掉所有的灯，然后看

电影。好的。嘿。哦，很酷的床单。

>> 哦，你喜欢吗？你想知道

我从哪里得到的吗？

>> 当然。他们得到了他们在

跳蚤市场得到的。

>> 您在跳蚤市场购买了床单。

罗斯，加油。你得稍微放松一下

的钱包。

[音乐]

[笑声]

嘿宝贝们，能不能别把你们的

脚放在我新的

旧床单上？

>> 我的药剂师桌。

>> 什么？否。

>> 罗斯，你从哪里得到这个？

>> 我在陶器谷仓得到的。好的。

天啊。 Baby Pottery Barn 撕毁了我们古董的设计

。

>> 哇。

>> 天哪。好吧，如果他们抢走了

我们的桌子，我们的桌子的价值肯定比

150 美元高得多。

>> 嗯，这闻起来根本不像

鸦片。

>> 当然不是。闻起来像酒，

，你洒了。顺便说一句，谢谢你

弄坏了我的床单。

>> 哦，罗斯，冷静点。我会给你

80 美分。

你怎么样？

>> 我很好。我认为进展顺利。

你觉得他们玩得开心吗？我

说得太快了吗？

>> 不。听起来像我。

>> 宝贝们，进展顺利。看看

钱德勒和小女婴钱德勒。

>> 小女婴钱德勒。我

以前在哪里听说过？好吧，

鲁本教练。

>> 你知道吗，菲布斯？呃，当你在那边

完成后，我们这里也遇到了一种

情况。

>> 呃呃。不，我们都要对自己的

婴儿负责。

>> 看，这就是我认为你错的地方

。我们一直在扮演这些婴儿

manto man。我们真的应该打

联防。

>> 你是什么意思？

>> 我只是认为如果我们每个人都有自己的区域，事情就会变得更加顺利

。

你知道，菲比，你可以负责

擦拭

，你知道，我的，你可以负责

换尿布，而我可以负责

，看看他们把手放在

时有多可爱。

>> 听起来真的很棒。但也许你

应该负责擦拭。

>> 好吧，我是菜鸟。我不应该在

达阵区。

>>嗨。

>> 嘿。

>> 哦，怎么了？

>> 好吧，

你知道我看到的那个通灵者吗？

>> 是的。

>> 好吧，她告诉我这周我就要死

，所以我对此感到有点沮丧

。

>> 什么？

>> 是的。我知道你们对通灵术了解不多，但是那一个

...

几乎是您能得到的最差的一个

。

>> 这太疯狂了。

>> 我不敢相信她会对你说这样的话

。

>> 是的，亲爱的。你不相信她，

吗？我不知道。她，你知道，说

我会生三胞胎，但她也说其中一个

是黑人。

>> 只是出于好奇，她有告诉你

你打算怎么去吗？

>> 不，因为她直到课程结束时才告诉我我会

死去，

，而且我不会在那里浪费整整

一个小时。我的意思是，我只剩下

一周的时间了，你知道吗？我现在真的已经

开始生活了。

[音乐]

>> 嘿。嘿，二月。你还活着。

你感觉怎么样？

>> 哦，等待

死亡真是太累了。

哦，顺便问一下，你认为你

偷看吗？你在干什么？

>> 我正在为我的死亡做好准备。

你不认为我死了吗？那不是

关闭了吗？

>> 哦，是的。吓死我了。我

以为我们永远失去了你。

小斐，你想躺下吗？

>> 是的。谢谢。听着，你能帮我

一个忙吗？你能在

几个小时后叫醒我吗？你知道，如果你可以

[鼓掌]

嘿。嘿，听听这个。我的阅读错误

。我不会死。

>> 真的吗？你怎么知道？因为我的

通灵已经死了。

她一定是读错了牌。

>> 哦，对不起。啊，她比我好。

>> 嘿，我们来烤饼干吧。所以，你继续

。我会赶上的。好的。好的。

>> 来吧。我们开始跑步吧。我们走吧。

[音乐]

>> 你们，我告诉你们，当她

跑步时，她看起来就像

青蛙克米特和价值 600 万美元的男人的结合体。

莫妮卡非常迷恋他，以至于她

每天晚上睡觉前都会亲吻他的海报

。

>> 哦，我以前也这么做过。

>> 你也有他的专辑吗？

环保并不容易。

>> 哦，

所以菲比跑得很奇怪，是吧？

>> 是的。是的。你知道吗？而且我

知道她会想再次竞选。我

只是不知道如何摆脱

。我是说，我和她住在一起。为什么

你不直接对她说？

告诉她真相。

>> 你是对的。

>> 你是对的。我应该告诉她

真相。

>> 嘿。

>> 嘿。

>> 嘿，宝贝。莫妮卡绊倒了我。我

认为我再也无法跑步了。曾经。

>> 为什么？你为什么要这么做？

>> 我不知道。

>> 瑞秋，很抱歉我弄伤了你的

脚踝。踝。我们拭目以待。

[音乐]

嗨。

>> 哦，是的。嗨，是我。今天早上我看到你抓起

你的跑鞋并

溜出去。你撒了谎，这样你就可以自己跑

。

>> 不，不，菲比。不，我是不，你知道

什么吗？我实际上只是在检查

，看看我是否可以运行，我可以。

>> 拜托，雷切尔。我不是白痴。

>> 不，等等，菲比。

[音乐]

[英语]

Hi you guys. Hi.

>> Hey. What's the matter? Well, it's just

it's one of these situations that I just

hate. You know, a massage client gave me

three tickets to the helmet pelts

exhibit at the Morgan Chase Museum.

>> Now you're thinking you're going to

sleep with them.

>> No, no. It's just that he gave me three

tickets and there are six of us.

>> I'll give up my ticket. Me, too.

>> Okay. That's so generous.

>> And I think Ross is generous, too.

Great. Okay, then it's just us girls.

Great.

>> Yeah.

>> So, what what is the exhibit?

>> It's mostly just photographs of um

lesbian love scenes interspersed with

video games and free sandwiches.

>> Oh, man.

>> Hey.

>> Hi there.

>> Hey, Ross. Listen, Chandler got you out

of going to the lesbian sandwich museum

this weekend.

>> Hey.

>> Hey, Bie. Guess what? What? Joey just

hired Chandler to be his assistant.

>> Oh, that's so sweet. Oh, hang on.

Hang on.

Go.

No, no, no. I said sell when it hits 50.

5. It's a number. It comes after 49.

No, it's okay. It's okay. You're allowed

one mistake.

>> Just kidding. You are of course fired.

[Music]

>> Hang on.

Hang on.

Hang on.

Go. Who's this? Oh, okay. You're going

to like working for me. What's your

name? What kind of name is Brindy?

I whatever. Stop talking.

>> All right. Um, from now on, your name is

Joan. You can pick your own last name.

>> No. No. No. No. Wait. You didn't just

sit on my Kit Kats, did you?

>> No. There. There was a a little little

dip in the market and I lost $13

million.

>> But the Kit Kats are all right.

>> What am I going to do? What am I going

to do? I can't call my office. They'll

kill me. I can't call my clients.

They'll kill themselves.

Great. Well, now my chest hurts.

>> What? My chest hurts.

And now I I can't breathe.

>> Baby, are you having a heart attack?

>> Well, if I were, would would I have

shooting pains up and down my left arm?

>> Yes. Then yes, that is what I'm having.

Oh my god.

>> Come on, Feebs. It's not that bad. You

know, most people would be excited if

they didn't have to work for a couple of

weeks.

>> Most people don't like their jobs. I

love my job. I've been not working for 3

hours and I'm already going crazy. I

miss Joan.

>> Honey, having a heart attack is nature's

way of telling you to slow it down.

>> I always thought having a heart attack

was nature's way of telling you to die.

>> But you're not going to die. I mean, you

are going to die, but you're not going

to die today.

I wish I was dead.

>> Let's take a walk. You know, maybe you

should consider writing for Talking Out

of Your Ass magazine.

>> Oh, here it is. Oh, Joey, why did you

sign it? Son of a

>> I didn't do that. Who would have done

that?

>> Son of a

>> Okay, maybe ask this guy.

>> You get out of my shop.

>> What? What did he do? He went out with

my wife.

>> Joey?

>> Well, I I Hey, I did not go out with

your wife. Okay. I I went out with her.

>> That's my wife.

>> Get out.

>> We should go.

>> Found you in my bed.

How' you wind up there? You are a

mystery.

Little black curly hair.

Little black hair. Little black. Little

black. Little black. Little black. A

little black curly hair.

Thank you.

Um, now if you want to receive emails

about my upcoming shows, then please

give me money so I can buy a computer.

>> You got the kind with the little girl.

You said we were going to get the kind

with the baby.

>> No, you said the baby creeps you out.

No, the little girl creeps me out.

>> You said the baby.

>> Why would the baby creep me out?

>> Why would the little girl creep you out?

>> You guys, I'm sorry. Can you please talk

a little slower?

>> This is going in your book.

>> Yeah, it's about relationships. You

know, the traps, the pitfalls, what not

to do. Keep going. This stuff's great.

>> Excuse me. And how none of it matters

when the people really love each other.

>> And how people will believe anything you

tell them as long as it's a compliment.

[Applause]

So, do you think uh Joey's more charming

than me?

>> Yeah, that's why I'm sleeping with him

on the side.

>> Yeah, you wish.

>> You wish.

>> Stop writing about us.

>> I'm not writing about you. I'm writing

about other people.

>> Who?

>> Marsha and Chester.

>> Okay, fine. Fine. Then you know what? I

will just write about Phyllis.

>> Huh?

>> Phyllis is sitting in the chair.

>> Oh,

>> I see what you're doing. Phyllis sees

what I'm doing.

>> Ooh, I have tasted my own medicine and

it is bitter.

>> Guys, look who's back.

>> Hey, Febs.

>> Call security.

>> Fees. Uh, didn't you get fired?

>> I don't think so.

>> Phoebe.

>> Jack. Hey,

>> what are you doing here?

>> All better. Back to work. Except this

clown from research told me I was fired.

He should do his research, huh?

>> Well, you were fired.

>> Nuh-uh.

>> I told that guy who answered your phone.

>> Oh, okay. I didn't get that message, so

this doesn't count. Anyway, I'll be in

my office.

>> Uh, Phoebe, you you you don't have an

office.

>> That's all right. I'll I'll work right

here. This is good. next to this plant.

>> You're in my office.

>> Look, I have made a lot of cash for this

company. Okay, I am talking big bucks,

pesos, yen, rubles. You make one little

mistake.

>> You lost $13 million.

>> Oh, so now this is all about money.

You know it's bad enough then. Ow. Oh,

you have got to be kidding.

>> Are you all right?

>> I'm having another heart attack.

>> What? I'm having another heart attack.

Call 911.

>> Hey,

>> dumbass.

>> Hey, thieves. How's it going? They fired

me and I'm having a heart attack. Well,

welcome back.

>> Yeah, I think you've had enough to

drink. I'm just helping the kids.

>> How is you drinking helping the kids?

>> Because the more I drink, the less there

is for the kids to drink.

Mr. Tribani,

>> your generous contribution brings us a

big step closer to building the youth

center.

>> Just out of curiosity, how how much is

that boat worth?

>> I think it was valued at 19,000.

>> That was pretty close.

>> Uh, so bad news. Um, I can't buy the

boat. I don't have any money.

>> I will look in the back closet.

>> I can save you time, ladies. I'm right

here.

>> Yeah. Chandler, why don't you take a

walk? This doesn't concern you.

>> We are looking for our Christmas

presents for Monica.

>> What? That's terrible.

>> No. No. We do it every year.

>> Oh, well that that makes it not

terrible.

>> No. Yeah, we never find them. She's

always best at us. That wy minkx.

>> Yeah. Don't worry. We're just going to

search here for an hour and then we're

going to go over to Joey's and search.

Okay. No, not okay. You can't look for

Monica's presents.

>> Oh, no. We have to.

>> No, you don't have to. And you can't

because I I live here, too.

>> Well, then you should look with us.

>> Why?

>> Chandler, aren't you worried about what

to get Monica for Christmas?

>> No. I have a great idea for a present

for her.

>> Oh, that's it? A great idea? I guess.

>> Chandler, that's not enough. I mean,

what if she gets you a great present,

two medium presents, and then a bunch of

little presents, and you've just gotten

her one great present? I mean, that's

just going to make her feel bad. Why

would you do that to her, Chandler? Why?

Why?

>> If I helped, we could find him faster.

>> That's right.

[Music]

We're going to find love. Definitely.

>> Yeah, I'm pretty confident about that.

That's what makes it so easy for me to

be 80% happy for Monica and Chandler.

>> It'd be nice to have a little guarantee,

though. What do you mean? Well, you

know, some people make deals with a

friend, like if neither of them are

married, by the time they're 40, they

marry each other. Mhm. You mean a

backup?

>> Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah, I've got

that.

>> You do?

>> Mhm.

>> Who? Joey. Joey?

>> Yeah. Are you serious? Yeah, I locked

him in years ago.

>> Wait, so if neither of you were married

by the time you're 40, you're going to

marry Joey?

>> Yeah, we shook on it.

>> Yeah, but believe me, that is not how he

wanted to seal the deal.

>> Oh, seriously?

>> Oh, yeah. I think his exact words were

>> charming.

He's just a backup.

Rachel's not going to pick your stupid

guy.

>> Oh, yeah.

>> Yeah. My guy is a lawyer who does

volunteer work and he has one of these.

>> A face ass.

>> A chin dimple. Well, uh, you know, our

guy works with Chandler and he's really

nice and smart and he's a great dresser.

Have you seen your guy's body?

>> No. Our guy is just a floating head.

>> Well, my guy is spectacular. Okay. He's

a massage client. And one time, um, when

he was on the table, I looked at it. And

I mean all of it.

>> You're not supposed to look.

>> Oh, yeah. Like they're police for that.

>> But you look you you massage me.

>> I know.

>> All right, fine. Your guy may have a

great body, but our guy is really funny.

>> Oh, Chandler funny.

>> Our guy's a great dancer. My guy's well

read.

>> Our guy has great hair. My guy has great

teeth.

>> Our guy smells incredible.

>> Do you want our guy to be your guy?

>> The 9 millionth ring store we've been

to, and I can't find the perfect ring.

Ugly ring. Ugly ring. Ugly ring.

It's a beautiful selection.

>> Okay, so maybe you don't get her a ring.

Maybe you maybe you do something

different, you know? Maybe you get her

an engagement bracelet, you know, or an

engagement tiara or an engagement

revolutionary war musket.

>> You know, I'm so glad I picked you to

help me with this.

>> Can't you just imagine getting down on

one knee and handing her this gorgeous

piece of weaponry?

>> Yeah, I'm going to stick with the ring.

>> It only takes two heart attacks to

finally make you see. One of them won't

do it, but the second will set you free.

Tell all your hate and anger it's time

to say goodbye. And that is just what I

will do. Soon as those bastards I worked

for die,

[Applause]

[Music]

the most beautiful engagement ring ever.

>> Yeah. Well, you should know. You bought

like a billion of them.

>> Yeah, you didn't get one.

>> Okay. Well, tonight's the big night.

>> Hey, listen. How you going to ask her?

>> It is going to be perfect. I am taking

her to her favorite restaurant, I'm

going to get her a bottle of the

champagne that she really loves,

therefore knows how expensive it is.

Then, when the glasses are full, instead

of proposing a toast, I'm just going to

propose.

>> It sounds perfect.

>> You're going to mess it up. Let me do

it.

>> I'm not going to mess it up.

>> If she says no, can I have the ring?

>> She's not going to say no. If

>> Hey.

>> Hey.

>> Hey.

>> Give it.

>> It's gone.

>> Phoebe.

>> We're practically kissing.

[Music]

>> Hey.

>> Hey. Hey, what have you guys been up to?

>> Oh, we went to a self-defense class

today.

>> Wow.

>> Yeah. Kicking a guy in the crotch all

morning really takes it out of you.

>> Takes it out of you.

>> No. Now we can kick anybody's ass.

>> Yeah.

>> After one class, I don't think so.

>> What? You want to see me self-defend

myself? Go over there and pretend you're

a sexual predator. Go on. I dare you.

>> Of course you could defend yourself from

an attack you know is coming. That's not

enough. Look, I studied karate for a

long time,

and there's a concept you should really

be familiar with. It's what the Japanese

call unagi.

>> Isn't that a kind of sushi?

>> No, it's a concept.

>> Yeah, it is. It is. It's freshwater

heel.

>> All right. Maybe it means that, too.

>> Oh, I would kill for a salmon skin roll

right now.

No, fine. Get attacked. I don't even

care.

>> Come on, Ross. We're sorry. Please tell

us what it is.

>> Unagi is a state of total awareness.

Okay. Only by achieving true unagi can

you be prepared for any danger that may

befall you.

>> You mean in case someone's trying to

steal your bamboo sleeping mat or your

kettle of fish?

All I'm saying is it's one thing being

prepared for an attack against like each

other. Whole another story. Being

prepared for an attack. I don't know.

Like surprise.

[Laughter]

All right. You knew that was coming. But

that doesn't mean you have unagi.

[Applause]

Oh, you know what? If we made

reservations, we could have unagi in

about a half hour.

[Music]

>> It was good.

>> Oh, yeah.

[Laughter]

>> What the hell was that?

>> A lesson in the importance of unagi.

[Applause]

>> You're a freak. Perhaps.

Now, I'm curious. At what point during

those girish screams would you have

begun to kick my ass?

>> All right. So, we weren't prepared.

>> I'm sorry I had to take such drastic

measures to make my point, but I look, I

just want you guys to be safe.

>> Danger.

Uhhuh.

Unagi

[Music]

[Applause]

>> danger.

[Laughter]

[Applause]

Ah,

salmon skin roll.

[Music]

Pat Satac. Yeah. Alex Tbec. Oh, of

course. Chuck Woolery. FE. Definitely

Phoebe. You will not find a single game

show host whose ass I cannot kick.

[Laughter]

>> Say it. Say we are Unagi.

It's not something you are, it's

something you have.

>> Say it.

>> You know what? I could easily get out of

this, but there's a chance you could get

very, very hurt.

[Music]

Uh-huh.

Nowhere to run.

>> I don't like sitting up here. I'm I'm

going to go over. Rachel, they got here

first.

[Laughter]

>> Why is Ross doing that?

>> Danger.

>> Oh my god. Why is he jumping on those

women?

>> We should help them.

I I don't think they need any help.

Hey, I'm here.

>> Oh my god.

>> You like it?

>> It's my new apothecary table.

>> Ros Stevie is going to be here any

second. She cannot see this.

>> Oh, why not? She'll She'll love it. It's

the real thing. I got it at Pottery

Barn.

>> I know you did. I bought the same one.

And if she sees your table, she's going

to know that I lied to her. I told her

that ours was an original.

>> Why did you do that?

>> Because she hates Pottery Barn.

>> She hates Pottery Barn.

>> I know. I know. She says it's all

mass-produced. Nothing is authentic. And

everyone winds up having the same stuff.

>> So, come on. She's going to be here any

second. Can we please just cover this up

with something, please?

>> What? No. No. I am not going to hide it

from Phoebe. Oh. Although, I did get

some great Pottery Barn sheets.

Oh, I forgot they made sheets.

>> Yeah,

>> I still can't believe she hates Pottery

Barn.

>> Ross, get over it. It's not like she

hates you.

>> Yeah, but Pottery Barn,

>> you know, when I think she's just she's

weird, you know? It's because she's a

twin. Twins are weird.

>> Ross, she's not weird. She just likes

her stuff to be one of a kind. Huh? You

know what's not one of a kind? A twin.

>> Hey.

>> Hey.

>> Oh, Phoebe's here. Okay. So, let's turn

out all the lights and we'll just watch

the movie. Okay. Hey. Ooh, cool sheet.

>> Oh, you like it? You want to know where

I got it?

>> Sure. They got They got it at a flea

market.

>> You bought your sheets at a flea market.

Ross, come on. You got to loosen the

purse strings a little.

[Music]

[Laughter]

Hey babes, can you please not put your

feet up on my new

old sheet?

>> My apothecary table.

>> What? No.

>> Ross, where did you get this?

>> I got it at Pottery Barn. Okay.

Oh my god. Baby Pottery Barn has ripped

off the design of our antique.

>> Wow.

>> Oh my god. Well, if they've ripped off

our table, ours must be worth much more

than $150.

>> Well, this doesn't even smell like

opium.

>> Of course not. It smells like wine,

which you spilled. And thanks for

wrecking my sheet, by the way.

>> Oh, Ross, calm down. I'll give you the

80 cents.

How you going?

>> I'm doing okay. I think it's going well.

Do you think they're having fun? Am I

talking too fast?

>> Nope. Sound like me.

>> Babes, it's going great. Look at

Chandler with little baby girl Chandler.

>> Little baby girl Chandler. Where have I

heard that before? All right, Coach

Ruben.

>> You know what, Feebs? Uh, when you're

done over there, we've got a kind of

situation over here, too.

>> Nuh-uh. No, we are all responsible for

our own babies.

>> See, that's where I think that you're

wrong. We've been playing these babies

manto man. We should really be playing a

zone defense.

>> What do you mean?

>> I just think things will go a lot

smoother if we each have our own zone.

You know, Phoebe, you can be in charge

of wiping

and you know, mine, you can be in charge

of diapering and I can be in charge of

looking how cute they are when they put

their hands around.

>> That sounds really great. But maybe you

should be in charge of wiping.

>> Okay, I'm a rookie. I should not be in

the end zone.

>> Hi.

>> Hey.

>> Oh, what's the matter?

>> Well,

you know that psychic I see?

>> Yeah.

>> Well, she told me that I'm going to die

this week, so I'm kind of bummed about

that.

>> What?

>> Yeah. And I know you guys don't know a

lot about psychic readings, but that one

is pretty much the worst one you can

get.

>> That's crazy.

>> I can't believe she would say that to

you.

>> Yeah, honey. You don't believe her, do

you? I don't. She, you know, said that

I'd have triplets, but she also said one

of them would be black.

>> Just out of curiosity, did she tell you

how you're going to go?

>> No, cuz she didn't tell me I was going

to die till the very end of the session,

and I was not going to waste a whole

other hour there. I mean, I've only got

a week left, you know? I've really got

to start living now.

[Music]

>> Hey. Hey, Feb. You're still alive.

How are you feeling?

>> Oh, it's so exhausting waiting for

death.

Oh, by the way, do you think you

peeps? What are you doing?

>> I was preparing you for my death. Didn't

you think I was dead? Did that not come

off?

>> Oh, yeah. Scared the hell out of me. I

thought we'd lost you forever.

Fibs, do you want to lie down?

>> Yeah. Thanks. And listen, can you do me

a favor? Could you just um wake me up in

a couple hours? You know, if you can

[Applause]

Hey. Hey, listen to this. My reading was

wrong. I'm not going to die.

>> Really? How do you know? Because my

psychic is dead.

She must have read the cards wrong.

>> Oh, I'm sorry. Ah, better her than me.

>> Hey, let's bake cookies. So, you go

ahead. I'll catch up. Okay. Okay.

>> Come on. Let's start running. Let's go.

[Music]

>> You guys, I'm telling you, when she

runs, she looks like a cross between

Kermit the Frog and the $6 million man.

Monica had such a crush on him that she

used to kiss his poster every night

before she went to bed.

>> Oh, I used to do that, too.

>> Did you also have his album? It's not

easy being green.

>> Oh,

so Phoebe runs weird, huh?

>> Yeah. Yeah. You know what? And and I

know she's going to want to run again. I

just don't I don't know how to get out

of it. I mean, I live with her. Why

don't you just be straight with her?

Tell her the truth.

>> You're right.

>> You're right. I should just tell her the

truth.

>> Hey.

>> Hey.

>> Hey, babe. Monica tripped me. I don't

think I can ever run again. Ever.

>> Why? Why would you do that?

>> I don't know.

>> Rachel, I'm sorry that I hurt your

ankles. Ankle. We'll see.

[Music]

Hi.

>> Oh, yeah. Hi, it's me. I saw you grab

your running shoes this morning and

sneak out. You lied so you could run by

yourself.

>> No. No, Phoebe. No, I was No, you know

what? I was I was actually just checking

to see if I could run, and I can.

>> Please, Rachel. I am not an idiot.

>> No, wait, Phoebe.

[Music]

重点词汇

词汇	含义
heart attack /hɑːrt əˈtæk/ B2	noun - 心脏病发作
unagi /ʊˈnɑːgi/ C1	noun - 完全警觉状态
psychic /ˈsaɪkɪk/ B2	noun - 通灵者 adjective - 灵异的
danger /ˈdeɪndʒər/ A2	noun - 危险
engagement /ɪnˈgeɪdʒmənt/ B2	noun - 订婚、参与
ring /rɪŋ/ A2	noun - 戒指 verb - 环绕
proposal /prəˈpəʊzəl/ B2	noun - 提案、求婚
champagne /ʃæmˈpeɪn/ B1	noun - 香槟酒
museum /mjuːˈziːəm/ A2	noun - 博物馆
exhibit /ɪɡˈzɪbɪt/ B1	verb - 展示 noun - 展览
photograph /ˈfəʊtəɡrɑːf/ B1	noun - 照片 verb - 拍照
lesbian /ˈlɛzbiən/ B2	adjective - 女同性恋的 noun - 女同性恋者
sandwich /ˈsændwɪtʃ/ A2	noun - 三明治
assistant /əˈsɪstənt/ B1	noun - 助理
client /ˈklaɪənt/ B1	noun - 客户
ticket /ˈtɪkɪt/ A2	noun - 票
money /ˈmʌni/ A1	noun - 金钱
kill /kɪl/ B1	verb - 杀死
prepared /prɪˈpɛəd/ B2	adjective - 已准备好的
awareness /əˈwɛənəs/ B2	noun - 意识

重点语法结构

• I can’t call my office. They’ll kill me.

  ➔ 情态动词 (can’t, will) 表示能力和未来预测

  ➔ 情态动词 "can’t" 表示无法，"they’ll" 中的 "will" 预测未来的动作。

• If I were, would I have shooting pains up and down my left arm?

  ➔ 第二条件句 (if + 过去式, would + 动词原形) 表示与现在相反的假设

  ➔ 如果从句 "If I were" 使用过去式虚拟语气 "were"，结果从句使用 "would I have"。

• I wish I was dead.

  ➔ wish + 过去式表示对现在的非真实愿望

  ➔ "wish" 引入与事实相反的愿望，动词 "was" 用过去式表示不真实。

• You’re of course fired.

  ➔ 被动语态（一般现在时）– be 动词 + 过去分词

  ➔ "are" 是 “to be” 的现在式，"fired" 是过去分词，构成被动意义“你被解雇了”。

• I’ve made a lot of cash for this company.

  ➔ 现在完成时（have + 过去分词） – 与现在相关的动作

  ➔ "have made" 将助动词 "have" 与过去分词 "made" 结合，表明该动作发生在现在之前且仍有影响。

• You should consider writing for Talking Out of Your Ass magazine.

  ➔ 情态动词 ‘should’ + 动词原形 用于给出建议

  ➔ "should consider" 使用情态动词 "should" 加动词原形 "consider"，表示建议性行为。

• If she says no, can I have the ring?

  ➔ 第一条件句 (if + 一般现在时, will/can + 动词原形) 表示现实的未来可能性

  ➔ "If she says no" 用一般现在时描述可能的未来事件；"can I have" 在此条件下请求许可。

• It only takes two heart attacks to finally make you see.

  ➔ 强调结构 “it takes” + 宾语 + 动词原形 表达必要性

  ➔ "It" 是虚主语；"takes" 是动词；"two heart attacks" 是宾语；"to finally make you see" 是表示目的的不定式从句。

• Don’t put your feet up on my new old sheet.

  ➔ 否定祈使句 “don’t” + 动词原形

  ➔ "Don’t" 是 "do not" 的缩写，用于直接命令不要做某事，后面接动词原形 "put"。