– 英语/中文 双语歌词

歌词与翻译

[中文]

莫妮卡，

>> 她正在睡觉。

>> 我知道。只是快快的问题。快速的

问题。哪一个是《深度冲击》，

哪一个是世界末日？

>> Deep Impact 是与 Robert

Dval 合作的吗？如果你叫醒我，世界末日将会发生在你身上

。

>> 抱歉，我睡不着。

你正在读的那本书

和两个正在滑冰的女人

并戴着那些上面有

花的帽子？因为每次我

看到那个封面时，我都会想，

[笑声]

>>它在客厅里，那里还有

一盏灯，没有人会踢你

小腿。

>> 什么？哦。

对不起。我想也许我应该做一些

温牛奶，它会帮助我在散步时

>> 入睡。

[笑声]

>> 你以为你会读我的

无聊的书来让你入睡。

>> 事情变得有趣了。

该死的，奥普拉。 [笑声]

>> 来，我来煮牛奶。无论如何，我已经起床了

。

>> 嘿，你知道我们能做什么吗？你

知道，既然我们起床了，我们就可以

整夜互相交谈，

你知道，就像我们第一次

出去时那样。会很有趣的。

>> 好吧，听起来确实很有趣。

>> 是的。所以，我的意思是，当二姐去世时，你

有多沮丧？啊？

>> 二姐去世。

[笑声]

>> 不，

[笑声]

不。好吧，我我正在谈论我正在读的

书，

>> 二姐死在阿奇和壶

头双重摘要中。

[笑声]

>> 没错。

>> 什么？你在干什么？

>> 你知道刚刚发生了什么吗？

>> 是的，我们发生了性关系，然后我们

睡着了。

[笑声]

>> 不，我们正在做爱

[笑声]

然后你就睡着了。

不，不，这不是真的。不，有史以来最好的时光

。

[笑声]

你震撼了我的世界。

>>莫妮卡，

>> 什么？

>> 我正在给你一些我最好的动作

，但你错过了。所以，请醒醒吧，这样

我们就能把事情做好。 [笑声]

>> 好的。好的。我准备好了。

来吧[笑声]，大家伙。

>> 给我好东西。

>> 是的。 [笑声]

>> 不，不，不。别睡着了。

>> 好的，我去给你泡杯咖啡。

哦，我可能不会

咖啡渣洒满厨房地板。

>> 好的，我起来了。我起来了。

[音乐]

>> 虎胆龙威。还是很棒的。

>> 是的。

嘿，你觉得我们让它成为双重

功能怎么样？

>> 您还租什么？

>> 《虎胆龙威 2》。

>> 乔伊，这又是《虎胆龙威》。

[笑声]

>> 哦，但是我们看了第二遍，

这也是《虎胆龙威》。

>> 乔伊，我们刚刚看到了它，

>> 很高兴再次看到它。

>> 是的，《虎胆龙威》。

>> 老兄，你没有说《虎胆龙威》。

一切都好吗？ [笑声]

>> 是的，我刚刚有了计划。

>> 好吧，约翰·姆兰有计划。

>> 不，你看，我想在乔伊工作完毕

离开这里

开始给大家打电话之前

>> 你在说什么，

[音乐]

>> [笑声]

>> 发生了什么？

>> 我不知道。 [笑声]你

睡着了。仅此而已。

>> 是的。是的。是的。

>> 好吧。嗯，呃，我最好回家了。

>> 是的。我认为那是最好的。

>> 好吧。我稍后再跟你谈。好的。

但不是这个。

>> 不，从来没有。

>> 从来没有。

>> 所以，呃呃。

>> 再见。

>> 没有触摸。没有触摸。 [笑声]

>> 嘿，

>> 刚刚带回了你的视频。

>> 呃嘿，呃罗斯，看。呃，我想我们

之前需要讨论一下。

>> 不，不，我们不。

是的，我们愿意。现在，看，这是我睡过的最好的

小睡。

[笑声]

>> 我我不知道你在说什么

。

>> 来吧，承认吧。那是最好的午睡

你曾经拥有过。

>> 我吃过更好的了。

>> 好的。什么时候？

>> 好的。好的。这是有史以来最好的

小睡。我说过了。好吧，但是

结束了，乔伊。

[笑声]

>> 我想再做一次。

[笑声]

>> 我们不能再这样做了。

>> 为什么不呢？

>> 因为这很奇怪。 [笑声]

>> 很好。

>> 你想喝点什么吗？

>> 当然。你有什么？

>> 温牛奶和 etan PM。

天哪，我告诉你，评判

让我精疲力竭。

>> 是的。

>> 是的。想想也许可以上楼

，在沙发上小睡一会儿。

[笑声]

>> 为什么我会关心这个？

[笑声]

>> 没有理由。我只是说呃

那就是我要去的地方。

>> [笑声]

[笑声]

[笑声]

>> 睡个好觉。确实如此。

[清喉咙]

[欢呼和掌声]

[笑声]

>> 老兄，你到底在做什么？

对不起[笑声]

我。

>> 我不知道，莫妮卡。光是在这里就感觉很有趣

。我的意思是，如果你从珍妮丝的前夫那里买了一张

床，那就

就像背叛了钱德勒。不是这些

的价格。

[笑声]

>> 嗨。您知道，在英格兰，这辆车

位于商店的另一边。

[笑声]

哦。哦，

菲比，过来。

这是我的新床。你必须感受到这个

坏男孩。

莫妮卡，还是感觉很奇怪。你

知道，泰勒是你的朋友。哦。哦我的

上帝。

>> [笑声]

>> 好吧，拿这张床。您还可以结交另外

个朋友。

>> 在这里，你们在这里。

床垫王送货。

>> 你，盖拉小姐。

>> 好的。

>> 在此签名。

>> 我有中间名吗？

>> 好吧。莫妮卡·贝鲁拉

盖勒。

就是那间卧室。

>> 嘿，莫妮卡从

床垫大王那里买了一张床。

>> 是的。所以，拜托，拜托，拜托不要对钱德勒说任何话

。

>> 你想让我对钱德勒撒谎吗？

>> 这是一个问题吗？

>> 否。

这是什么？

是不是很酷？房间。房间。

[笑声]

这不是我订购的床。我知道。

您一定是赢得了比赛或

之类的东西。

>> 宝贝，

这辆车为什么在我的卧室里？

>> 抱歉。好吧，我没看，

商店说他们不会收回

，因为你已经签收了。

>> 我什么时候签收的？

>> 当我还是你的时候。你知道吗？这都是

乔伊的错，因为他没有做到这一点。

[笑声]

>> 今天你做了布朗尼蛋糕吗？

>> 敲敲。

>> 快点，脱掉你的衣服。他不会

注意到这张床。

>> [笑声]

>> 嘿，我要去吃寿司。有人

想要呃

哇，有人错过了出口匝道。

[笑声]

>> 这是莫妮卡的床。什么？

>> 好吧，

这是一辆赛车。

>> 所以，这一直是莫妮卡的床。

好吧，您现在才注意到。

你的自我投入程度如何？ [笑声]

>> 好的。好吧，如果这张床不是新的，那么

为什么

床垫上有塑料？

>> 有时我会做恶梦。

>> 呃，我可以帮你吗？

>> 是的。你好。我在

那位被赛车

床困住的女士的电话里与你交谈过。

>> 看，就像我告诉过你我无能为力

。你签了字。

莫妮卡·费卢拉·盖勒。

好吧，切斯特。伙计，看。我们想要

去见国王。没有人看到国王。

>> 好的，我正在和国王说话。

>> 嘿，你不能回去了。

>> 天啊。

嘿，注意点，女士。 [笑声]

嘿。嘿。好看。 [笑声]

[笑声]

好吧，我走了。我的床太无聊了

。

你在做什么？我呃重新整理了

冰箱。看？呃，底层的肉类和

奶制品。中层货架水果和

蔬菜

以及顶层货架过期产品。

[笑声]

>> 你为什么要这样做？

>> 因为我很无聊。从我的脑海中消失了。我已经

去过银行、

邮局和干洗店。

>> 老兄，你刚刚描述了 7 天

的内容。 [笑声]

>> 你必须把它分散一点，你

知道。你没有失业过吗？

>> 嘿，我没有失业。我正在

休假。嘿，别对我

抱有宗教信仰，好吗？ [笑声]

处于你这个位置的人需要

更擅长放松，你知道。

什么？您认为我们为什么拥有

张舒适的椅子？啊？看，来这里

。坐下。

准备好了吗？手表。

然后[笑声]

那又怎样？我们只是坐着。哦，不。不。我们

不会只是坐着。手表。

你好，钱德勒·宾。

>> 你好，冰先生。

我爱你。

>> 好吧，不管这是谁，别再给我打电话

了。

已经 6 个月了。这不好笑。

[笑声]

>> 但我爱你。

>> 别管我。看在上帝的份上，

别打扰我。 [笑声]

>> 那是星期三。本，

我想让你知道，

有时我可能不会像这样

嗯，

但我仍然会像这样

回来。

[笑声]

有时我可能会像

这样离开更长时间。

[笑声]

但我仍然会像这样回来

。

有时我会想让你偷

第三，我就会这样。

[笑声]

>> 他太棒了。

>> 我知道。看看他。

>> 本。

本。

嘿，本。

什么也没有。我不认为那是他的名字。

[笑声]

>> 哦，看。看。他正在闭上眼睛。

哦，看。他正在睁开眼睛。

[笑声]

>> 他没做什么，不是吗？

>> 不。差不多就是这样了。

你们想喝点咖啡吗？

>> 是的。是的。是的。

>> 好吧。稍后再见。

[笑声]

[笑声]

>> [笑声]

>> 哦，看。他又闭上了眼睛。

>> 那么，其他人都在享受

最美好的时光吗？

嘘。

>> 乔伊睡着了。

他昏倒后，我们在他周围放了沙子

以给他保暖。

>> 好吧，我想这对幸福的夫妇还没有

起来。你们昨晚

晚上听到他们的声音了吗？

>> 哦，是的。我不知道他们

在做什么，但有一次，海龟

实际上来到了房子里。

>> 早上好。

>> 嘿。

>> 嘿。大家睡得怎么样？

>> 哦，太棒了。

>> 就像迷失了一样。

>> 我们，也是。

>> 去散步。

[清喉咙]

>> 早上好。顺便说一下，呼吸很好。

[笑声]

>> 哦，不。不，不，不，不，不。这里没有

。

>> 哦，来吧，伙计。至少让我完成

这最后一篇。

好的。但前提是你给我拖拉。

>> 好的。

>> 哦，黑暗的妈妈。我再次吮吸

你的烟熏奶。 [笑声]

>> 哦，不。你为什么不保留那个

呢？

好吧，这就像有史以来最无趣的游戏

。

>> 好吧，我真的厌倦了你抽烟，

所以我带了一些可以

帮助你戒烟的东西。

>> 哦，

>> 不。那个补丁不好用。

[笑声]

>> 来吧。这是一盘催眠磁带。这位

的工作女性连续使用了两周

，从那以后她就没有再吸烟了。

[笑声]

>> 你有什么问题吗？

>> 什么都没有。只是催眠根本就不是废话

。

>> 罗斯，我在

大西洋城看到你被催眠。

>> 嘿，那家伙没有催眠我。

好的。

>> 哦，对了。因为你总是在数到三的时候把你的

裤子拉下来，然后

在你的屁股上玩Wipe Out。

>> 好吧。你忘记了催眠。

戒烟的方法是你必须在石南花田中裸体跳舞

，然后

沐浴在六个健康年轻人的汗水中

男人

>> 或者我父亲所说的周四晚上。

>> 很快就睡着了。

更深，更深，更深。您现在

完全睡着了。您不需要

吸烟。香烟无法控制你。你

是一位坚强、自信的女性，

不会消失。

坚强自信的女人。

[笑声]

[笑声]

[欢呼]

百万富翁来了。我的天啊。

[笑声]

>> 伙计们，请。我要和他一起吃

晚餐。好的。好的。好的。

因为他请你吃饭并不意味着

你欠他什么。

>> 好吧，那就吃龙虾吧。

[笑声]

>> 每把刀。

[笑声]

你不需要吸烟。香烟

无法控制你。你是一个坚强、

自信的女人[笑声]，

不需要吸烟。

一个坚强、自信的女性，

不需要吸烟。香烟无法控制

你。您是一位坚强、自信的女性

，不需要吸烟。

>> 欢乐是你最好的朋友。 [笑声]

你想每天给他做奶酪三明治

。 [笑声]

>> 而且你还想给他买价值数百

美元的裤子。

>> 那么，您将担任主旨演讲人。

>> 是的。

>> 谁在做决定？

>> 谢尔曼教授。是的。我今天要和他见面

。

>> 哦，他是一个很难给人留下深刻印象的人。

>> 是的。好吧，我想我知道如何让

他眼花缭乱。

>> 哦，你不会变魔术

吧？

[哼哼]

>> 不。

我们从 MRI 扫描

和这些化石的 DNA 测试中收到的数据是

令人震惊的。

>> 我的意思是，我们一直接受Leaky的

日期作为给定的，但如果它们与

相差一万年左右，那么

你可以将我们的大部分

假设扔进

垃圾桶。

所以，我想说的是

...

是呃赔偿

可能会很大。我的意思是，不仅在古生物学中的

，而且如果你在进化生物学、呃

，我的意思是，真正令人难以置信的

遗传学、呃地质学中考虑

。

>> 好吧，这不是你想要的。

你好，

>> 乔伊。嘿，我需要和查理谈谈。

她在吗？

>> 不，她呃她和

Rachel 一起去购物。为什么？这是怎么回事？

>> 嗯，我正在与谢尔曼教授会面

，讨论我担任主讲人的事宜。

>> 哦，怎么样？

>> 还可以更好。

>> 他嗯他睡着了。

>> 什么？但我已经买了去

百慕大的机票。

巴巴多斯。

>> 好吧，我租辆车来开车。

[笑声]

>> 罗斯，你必须得到那份工作。

>> 我该怎么办？他很冷。事实上

，他之前只是在

睡梦中说话。显然，他希望

一个叫弗兰的人更用力地打他屁股。

>> 好吧，叫醒他吧。

>> 我不能。如果他意识到我是

让他睡着的人，我就不会得到

的工作。

>> 哦，这很难。噢，请稍等

分钟。这件事以前发生在我身上。

是的。我正在试镜一部戏剧，

制片人睡着了。我不，请等待

分钟。是我睡着了。

>> 是的。我的意思是，嘿，莎士比亚，

偶尔来一场追逐戏怎么样？

[欢呼声和笑声]

[笑声]

>> [笑声]

[笑声]

[笑声]

>> 天哪。您真的希望我成为

主旨发言人吗？

谢谢。

>> 不客气。

>> 嘿，琪琪。

[笑声]

>> 你在做什么？只是想让

舒服一些。无法穿着

内裤睡觉。

>> 好吧，你会

>> [笑声]

>> 我一直在想，你知道，

我总是看到女孩在女孩之上。

>> 它们是首尾相接还是像

煎饼一样高？ [笑声]

>> 你知道我的意思

总是和这些女人一起出去？

因为我一直认为，当合适的人

出现时，我就能成为一名

单口相声并坚持到底，你

知道吗？我看着我爸爸，心想，

“嘿，你不是他。你就是你。”

当他们全心全意让你进入

你父亲的管道配件生意时，

你屈服了吗？

>> 不。

>> 不。您决定进入

演员行业。 [笑声]

现在，这并不容易，但你做到了。

我愿意相信，当

合适的女人出现时，你会有

的勇气和勇气说：“不

谢谢。我结婚了。[笑声]

你真的这么认为吗？

>> 是的，我真的这么认为。

>> 谢谢，J。

>> 下车。

>> 珍妮丝喜欢拥抱晚上，

你知道，我完全支持。但是，呃，你

知道，当你想睡觉时，你

所以，呃，你知道，如果没有，

...

>>你知道，不小心称她为胖子

...

>>哦，亲爱的，对不起，我们帮不了你

。 cuz we're cuddly sleepers.

>> Okay. I'm late for work.

>> Oh,

>> all right. Are you guys going to come

down?

>> Uh, yeah. Yeah, I'll I'm right behind

you.

>> Okay. Good luck, Chandler.

>> Thank you, Rachel. Bye, sweetie.

>> 再见，亲爱的。

...

[笑声]

非常棘手的事情，但你可以做一些事情。

...

>> 我以为你们在睡觉。

>> 不，不，不是我。 the room.

...

...

Okay, come here.

>> Okay, you're in bed.

>> Yeah.

[laughter]

>> I'm going to use the cushion. Yeah.

>> Okay. You're in bed. She's over on your

side cuddling. Now you wait for her to

drift off and then you hug her and roll

her到她的床边。

然后你

滚开。

拥抱她。

为你滚动。 [笑声]

好的。旧时的拥抱和滚动。

>> 是的。

>> 好的。一个问题。射击。你

假装枕头是个女孩，对吗？

[笑声]

>> 亲爱的，你又把床铺好了。我告诉过

你不必这样做。这

不是营地。

>> 哦，那么我想昨晚

晚上的内裤袭击是完全没有必要的。

好的，我要去洗澡了，

今天我将唱 Jim Crochy 的

Leroy Brown。

>> [笑声]

>> 莫妮卡。

>> 嘿，伙计。我有一个问题。勒罗伊

是整个该死的小镇

中最坏的男人，还是整个该死的

镇中最胖的男人？

>> 最糟糕的。否则，这首歌将是

肥肥的 Leroy Brown。

>> 你在做什么？

>> 我只是在等你，亲爱的。

你要重新铺床吗？

>> 对不起。对不起。你知道吗？按照你的

方式，效果很好。

>> 然后你要重做，因为

>> 如果我告诉你，你会认为我疯了。

>> 无论哪种方式，您都几乎面临着

的风险。 [笑声]

>> 好的。您会看到，

辩论标签不应位于左上角

。它应该位于

右下角。

>> 嗯，这并没有那么疯狂。

>> 我只是让你放松一下。好吧。

>> 好的。你看到这些小花

开花了吗？它们应该朝上，而不是

朝下，因为床头

是太阳所在的地方。

[笑声]

你不再爱我了，是吗？

>> 事实上，如果可以的话，我会更爱你

。

>> 真的吗？

>> 哇。好吧，那就来吧。我想向您展示

如何将卫生纸折叠成

点。

这太令人兴奋了。如此迷人。

人们给我们拍照。我

看起来怎么样？

>> 你有点高。

>> 什么？你介意蹲下

一点让我看起来更高吗？

就这样吧。

>> [笑声]

[音乐]

[掌声]

>> 干得好，乔。干得好。一流的。

>> 你喜欢它吗？你真的喜欢它吗？

>> 哦，是的。 [笑声]

具体是哪一部分？

>> 整个事情。开始了。

>> 不，不，不。给我一些具体情况。我

喜欢这些细节。具体细节是

最好的部分。

>> 嘿，

袋鼠的场景怎么样？你喜欢

部分吗？

>> 我很惊讶地看到了一只袋鼠。

[笑声]

>> 在第一次世界大战的史诗中。

你睡着了。 [笑声]

没有袋鼠。他们没有采纳我的

任何建议。

[笑声]

>> 非常感谢你的到来，伙计。

稍后见。

>> 别走。对不起。我很抱歉。看，

这家伙睡着了。他也睡着了，

。生他的气吧。

>> 我昨晚做了一个梦，梦见我

和我的孩子一起踢足球。

>> 很好。

>> 不错。

>> 不，不，和他在一起。

我在这片球场上，他们让我，

宝宝，[笑声]

我知道我必须做点什么

因为坦帕湾的防守正在向我袭​​来

。 [笑声]

>> 坦帕湾队有一支糟糕的球队，

>> 对吧？但是

[笑声]

只有我和孩子，所以我

认为他们可以带走我们。

所以我呃我只是讨厌前场。

>> 什么？你害怕那是个婴儿吗？

>> 他应该接受解雇。 [笑声]

>> 不管怎样，突然我就到了前场，我

意识到我就是那个应该

抓住他的人，对吧？只有我知道

我不可能在

时间内到达那里，对吗？所以，我正在跑步，我正在

跑步，那就是我醒来的时候。

看，我还没有准备好成为一名父亲。

>> 嘿，你会没事的。

>> 你是北美最有爱心、最

负责任的男人之一。

[笑声]

你会成为一个伟大的父亲。

>> 是的，罗斯。您和宝宝只需要

更好的阻挡。

这不是很好吗？如此安静。我可以

躺在这里一整天。

>> 哦不。

>> 打开窗帘。打开你的窗帘。

>> 很高兴我们有相邻的房间。

>> 太阳出来了。

>> 嘿，还记得我吃玉米的时候吗？

>> 好的，听着。你去游泳池

预订椅子，我去拿

杂志和乳液。

>> 呃，女士们，罗斯的演讲还有 45

分钟。

>> 该死的。

[笑声]

>> 墙很薄，伙计们。

然后我们必须权衡

最近的 MRI 扫描和 DNA 测试

的数据，这对从多年的简单碳

提出了质疑。

年代测定中收集的信息

>> 那个坐在泳池边的女人

晒黑了

>> 材料

都是皮革状的，有皱纹。我很

嫉妒。

最后，考虑一下最近发现的大量新的

物种。

巨龙、

阿根廷龙、

>> 更不用说 Culaurus 了。

[笑声]

>> 那只是食草动物。我什至不

讨论食肉动物。

他们的头已经太大了，考虑到他们

很讽刺。 [笑声]

大脑发育不良，这

凌晨 4:30

萨堡的美国驻军

遭到枪击。现在已经下了。

>> 嘿，爸爸。你在这里做什么？

>> 好吧，这是你母亲的桥之夜，

所以我想我应该进城来

拥抱一下莫娜。

>> [笑声]

>> 你从什么时候开始抽雪茄的？

>> 我不知道。我只是喜欢

它们的味道。

>> 那么，呃，你到底在这里做什么，

爸爸？

>> 好吧，我只是想确保

你没事。

>> 是什么让你认为我可能

不好？

>> 我看到理查德。

>>哦。

>> 那么，你好吗？

>> 我很好。只是有点累，但我

还好。

理查德怎么样？

>> 你不想知道。

>> 不，我真的真的。

>> 好吧，他表现得很糟糕。

>> 真的吗？

>> 比他与

芭芭拉分手时更糟糕。

>> 你不只是这么说的，是吗？

>> 不，这个人一团糟。 [笑声]

>> 他哭了吗？

>> 不。

那么，你认为他会等到你离开后

，这样我们才能哭吗？

>> 也许吧。

>> 我想是的。

>> 亲爱的，人际关系很难。就像

你妈妈和我一样。你知道，我们

大学毕业后，我们分手了

一段时间。看来她的父亲，你的

祖父，希望她像他一样环游

欧洲。当然，他

用山姆大叔的镍币来做这件事，因为他

当时也在扫射德国部队列车。

。

但是，[笑声]

你需要一些帮助。

好的，请。

>> 首先，犹他州，

老兄。你不能只是编造一些东西。

[欢呼]

我讨厌美国。 [笑声]

当我完成这个游戏时，我发誓我

动起来了。

好吧，也许这很难，因为

没有 50 个州。

[笑声]

让我告诉你一件事。我有 49 个

个州，现在不再有[笑声]

。我想我应该可以吃

的东西。

[笑声]

>> 这取决于你。

>> [笑声]

>> 特拉华州。 [笑声]

特拉华州。

>> 好吧。

>> 我现在想要我的火鸡。

>> 你明白了。

你两次获得内华达州。

[笑声]

>> 我知道。

>> 是的。

>> 现在是早上 6:30。我们没有

锻炼。结束了。

>> 没门。还剩一磅。快点。

我们正在工作。我们要搬家了。我们位于

区域。我们正在开槽。

>> 好的。我不介意最后

磅。好的。事实上，我有点喜欢最后一磅

。好的。所以，不要让我做

任何让我后悔的事情。 [笑声]

>> 你要做什么，胖男孩？啊？

>> 什么？

>> 除了告诉你，呃，我认为你拥有如此多的能量，这真是太棒了

。

>> 好的，谢谢。

>> 我的意思是，尤其是考虑到您找工作有多么困难

。

你知道，

>> 你知道，我的意思是，你不能告诉你的

父母你被解雇了，因为他们会

失望。

>> 嗯嗯。

>> 而且这并不是说你有一个

男朋友的肩膀可以依靠。

>> 嗯，不，但是我

>> 我的意思是，如果是我，我想我在

困难。 [笑声]

起床时会遇到

你知道，我努力保持积极的态度。

>> 那么，您想出去跑步。

[笑声]

>> 好吧。

>> 因为您知道，但您不必这样做。如果

你愿意，你可以在这里小睡一下

。

>> 好的。

[笑声]

就一会儿。

>> 好的。

>> [欢呼]

>> 呃，Ra，[笑声] Hugsy 和 Emma 在

婴儿床里做什么？

>> 哦，好吧，她只是在

周围爬行，然后发现了他，所以我就让她

和他一起睡觉。

>> 没关系，不是吗？

>> 哦，当然。是的，这是一个

毛绒动物。您知道，这是为孩子们准备的，而不是为

成人准备的。

>> 我知道。

>> 乔伊，你确定吗？我的意思是，我知道你有多么

爱他。

>> Rachel，让我们澄清一下，好吗？我

不喜欢Hugsy。

>> 我很喜欢他。

>> 好吧。嗯，艾玛爱他。

>> 是的。好吧，她为什么不呢？他是一个

很棒的人。

>> [音乐]

>> 看看你。一切都甜蜜而天真，

像天使一样睡着，他们胖乎乎的

小手搂着你。

[笑声]

>> 没关系，艾玛。你继续睡吧。

>> [哭泣]

>> 离开婴儿床。我 11 岁。

[尖叫]

>> 没关系。没关系。 RA，是我。将

放在发圈上。 [笑声]

>> 你在做什么？

>> 嗯，我听到艾玛在动，所以我

进来确保她能接触到

Hugsy。

>>哦。哦，谢谢。好的。好吧，现在

我起床了，我要去

卫生间。

>> 好的。就这样吧，亲爱的。

这还没有结束。

>> 嘿。嘿，看看谁来了。是乔伊。

他带了一位朋友回家。

>> 乔伊。艾玛就在这里。你答应

不再在

中午带女孩回家。

>> 不，不，不。这不是一个女孩。这是

一款全新的 Hugsy。

>> 哦，太棒了。现在艾玛有两个

拥抱。

>> 不，不，不。哦，不。不。艾玛有一个

Hugsy。新的拥抱。呵呵。

>> 另一个拥抱。我不知道。我想

我会把他带回来。哦。

>> 哦，你知道吗？当我还是一个

小女孩时，我有一匹粉色小马，名叫

棉花。哦，我非常爱她。我带着

她去任何地方。我会给她编尾巴。

>> 进行转接。 [笑声]

>> 现在，现在，我应该担心

按钮从旧 Hugsy 上掉下来而我

找不到它吗？

>> 哦，不。别担心。我

几年前就吞下了它。 [笑声]

>> 哦，什么？我认为她不喜欢

新 Hugsy。

>> 但他还是一样[哭]。

>> 是的，我想她想要回旧的

。

>> 是的，但他是一样的。

>> 乔伊，加油。

>> 但他还是一样。

>> 你不一样。

[笑声]

>> 试图让艾玛躺下小睡。

你看过Hugsy吗？

>> 呃，原创还是蹩脚？

>> 原创。

>> 不，抱歉。我没见过他们。

>> 那么你

被子下面的那个大肿块是什么？

我是莫妮卡。好吧，

>> 那不是莫妮卡。

>> 好吧，好吧。这是原来的拥抱。

>> 你知道，现在我知道艾玛想要他，但

他是我的，我需要他。她

不讲道理。

>> 乔伊，艾玛爱是有原因的

那只愚蠢的企鹅真是太蠢了。哦，不要

捂住耳朵。 [笑声]

>> 这是因为这让她想起了她的叔叔

Joey。

>> 确实如此。

>> 是的。她得到了他的安慰，因为

她非常爱她的叔叔乔伊。

>> 真的吗？她她爱我。

>> 哦，是的。

但是你知道吗？如果您需要 Hugsy，

别担心。艾玛会完全

理解。我不会，但无论如何。

>> 好的。等等，等等，等等，等一下。

等一下，妈妈。我的意思是，如果

Hugsy 对艾玛来说意义重大，那么

好吧，她可以拥有它们。

>>哦。哦，亲爱的。我知道乔伊叔叔会

挺身而出。看看，艾玛，看看谁回来了。

>> 算了。忘了它。我做不到。

>> 你打算从一个小孩手中夺走

UXY 吗？

>> 你认为我是如何让他获得第

位的？ [笑声]

>> 那是谁？

>> 别担心。我很勇敢。我很勇敢。我我

很勇敢。

>> 不，不，不，不，不，不。

>> 你能告诉我谁在那儿吗？

[笑声]

>> 我叫加里。我住在楼上。

嗨。

>>嗨。你知道现在几点了吗？

>> 糖果时间到了。

>> 我的室友说它们尝起来像

天堂的小滴。

>> 哦，拜托。

>> 你听到了吗？

天堂的小滴。 [笑声]

>> 凌晨 4:00

>> 那么，我可以买点糖果吗？

>> 抱歉，我们中的一些人必须早起

去上班。他不

知道我不是我们中的一员。

>> [笑声]

>> 嗯，听着，我很抱歉，但我早上第一件事就是把

放出来。

>> 好吧，好吧。我稍后会过去。

>> 你住在这栋楼里？

>> 看来我会记住你的。

>> 夜晚，G。

>> 你们真可爱。

>> 我知道。

>> 好的，明天见。好的。

>> 好的。

>> [音乐]

>> 你知道，我喜欢和你一起做填字游戏

，亲爱的。

>> 我也是。现在，让我们完成这一切并去

睡觉。

>> 好吧，[笑声]只剩下一个了。

三字母单词。不是狗，而是

>> 猫。

[笑声]

是的。你真聪明。

>> 我爱你。

>> 我也爱你。

[笑声]

[音乐]

>> 多田。

我们现在就这样互相打招呼吗？

因为我喜欢那样。

[笑声]

>> 看，我打扫干净了。我做了窗户。我

铺了地板。除了

附件。

那个带刷毛的小圆形附件外，我还没有在真空吸尘器上使用过所有这些

我不知道那是做什么用的。

>> 哦，是的。没有人知道。我们不应该

问。

>> 那么，你觉得怎么样？

>> 非常干净。

>> 真的吗？看起来很棒。

>> 非常干净。

哦，我我我看到你移动了绿色的

脚凳。

>> 欢迎。

[笑声]

>> 这是怎么发生的？

>> 我不知道。我觉得那里看起来

更好。而且我还有，这是一张

额外的风景桌。

>> 是的，这很有趣。

[笑声]

但你知道吗？只是为了好玩，让我们

看看老地方的样子。

我只是为了比较。

看到了吗？哈。嗯，那里看起来也不错。

让我们把它放在那里一段时间。

[笑声]

>> 不敢相信你试图移动

绿色脚凳。

>> 感谢上帝，你没有尝试将

杂志散开。我的意思是，她会立即抓破你的

眼睛。

>> 伙计们，我没那么糟糕。是的，你是，

莫妮卡。 [笑声]

还记得我是否和你住在一起吗？你

有点像，你知道，

这太不公平了。

>> 哦，来吧。当我们还是孩子的时候，你的

是唯一的破烂娃娃。这不是

褴褛的。 [笑声]

>> 好吧，所以我负责。我是有组织的。

但是，嘿，我可以成为一名厨师。

[笑声]

>> 好吧，你这个疯狂的帽子女孩。

试着想象一下。电话帐单

已到，但您未正确付款

远。

>> 为什么不呢？

>> 因为你是厨师。

>> [笑声]

>> 相反，你要等到他们给你发送

通知。

>> 我可以做到。好的。好的。然后，呃，

你让我去杂货店买东西，我买了

洗衣粉，但不是那种带有易倒嘴的

。为什么

有人会这么做？ [笑声]

有人可能会想。

有人把一杯酒落在咖啡

桌上。没有过山车。这是

冷饮。今天很热。

凝结的小珠子慢慢地

越来越接近

木头的表面。

>> 停止吧。 [笑声]

>> 天哪，这是真的。我是谁？

>> 莫妮卡，你是妈妈。

[音乐]

>> 你们去睡觉吧，伙计们。

>> 好吧。晚安，莫妮卡。

>> 妈妈，你要把鞋子放在

这里吗？

嗯。 [笑声]

>> 真的吗？只是以那种不计后果的随意方式随意散布在

上？

[笑声]

>> 没关系。我明天会去找他，否则

不会。 [笑声]

>> 每当。

>> 她是一名​​厨师。

>> [音乐]

>> 如果这让你很烦恼，就出去

拿鞋子吧。

不，不要这样做。这太愚蠢了。我

不需要证明任何事情。我要去

去拿它们。

但随后每个人都会知道。

除非我拿到它们然后很早起床

并将它们放回去。哦，我

需要帮助。

[英语]

Monica,

>> she's sleeping.

>> I know. Just quick quick question. Quick

question. Which one was Deep Impact and

which one was Armageddon?

>> Deep Impact was the one with Robert

Dval? Armageddon is what's going to

happen to you if you wake me up.

>> Sorry, I just can't sleep.

Where is that book that you were reading

with the two women who were ice skating

and wearing wearing those hats with the

flowers on it? Because every time I look

at that cover, I'm like,

[laughter]

>> it is in the living room where there is

also a light and no one will kick you in

the shin.

>> What? OW.

I'm sorry. I thought maybe I'd make some

warm milk and it would help me sleep

>> with a walk.

[laughter]

>> You thought you were going to read my

boring book to put you to sleep.

>> It got interesting.

Damn you, Oprah. [laughter]

>> Here, let me make the milk. I'm up

anyway.

>> Hey, you know what we could do? You

know, now that we're up, we could just

like talk to each other all night long,

you know, like we did when we were first

going out. It'd be fun.

>> Okay, that does sound fun.

>> Yeah. So, I mean, how bummed were you

when the second sister died? Huh?

>> The second sister dies.

[laughter]

>> No,

[laughter]

no. Well, I I I was talking about the

book I was reading,

>> The Second Sister Dies in Archie and Jug

Head Double Digest.

[laughter]

>> That's correct.

>> What? What are you doing?

>> Do you know what just happened?

>> Yeah, we we had sex and then we fell

asleep.

[laughter]

>> No, we were in the middle of sex

[laughter]

and you fell asleep.

No, no, that's not true. No. Best time

ever.

[laughter]

You rock my world.

>> Monica,

>> what?

>> I was giving you some of my best moves

and you missed it. So, please wake up so

we can do it right. [laughter]

>> Okay. Okay. I'm ready.

Come [laughter] on, big fella.

>> Give me the good stuff.

>> Yeah. [laughter]

>> No, no, no. Don't fall asleep.

>> Okay, I'm going to make you some coffee.

Oh, I probably won't spill coffee

grounds all over the kitchen floor.

>> Okay, I'm up. I'm up.

[music]

>> Die hard. Still great.

>> Yeah.

Hey, what do you say we make it a double

feature?

>> What else do you rent?

>> Die Hard 2.

>> Joey, this is Die Hard one again.

[laughter]

>> Oh, but we watched it a second time and

it's Die Hard, too.

>> Joey, we just saw it and

>> and it would be cool to see it again.

>> Yeah, Die Hard.

>> Dude, you didn't say Die Hard.

Is everything okay? [laughter]

>> Yeah, I just got I got plans.

>> Well, John Mlan had plans.

>> No, you see the thing is I want to get

out of here before Joey gets all worked

up and starts calling everybody

>> What are you talking about,

[music]

>> [laughter]

>> What happened?

>> I don't know. [laughter] You fell

asleep. That is all.

>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

>> All right. Well, uh, I better go home.

>> Yeah. I think that would be best.

>> All right. I'll talk to you later. Okay.

But not about this.

>> No, never.

>> Never.

>> So, uh uh.

>> Bye.

>> No touch. No touch. [laughter]

>> Hey,

>> just uh brought back your videos.

>> Uh hey, uh Ross, look. Uh I think we

need to talk about before.

>> No, no, we don't.

Yes, we do. Now, look, that was the best

nap I ever had.

[laughter]

>> I I don't know what you're talking

about.

>> Come on, admit it. That was the best nap

you ever had.

>> I've had better.

>> Okay. When?

>> All right. ALL RIGHT. IT WAS THE BEST

NAP EVER. I SAID IT. OKAY, BUT IT'S

OVER, JOEY.

[laughter]

>> I want to do it again.

[laughter]

>> We can't do it again.

>> Why not?

>> Because it's weird. [laughter]

>> Fine.

>> You want something to drink?

>> Sure. What do you got?

>> Warm milk and etan PM.

Boy, I'll tell you, that judging stuff

took a lot out of me.

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah. Think about maybe going upstairs

and taking a little nap on my couch.

[laughter]

>> Why Why would I care about that?

[laughter]

>> No reason. I'm just saying that uh

that's where I'll be.

>> [laughter]

[laughter]

[laughter]

>> Great nap. It really was.

[clears throat]

[cheering and applause]

[laughter]

>> Dude, what the hell are you doing?

Excuse [laughter]

me.

>> I don't know, Monica. It feels funny

just being here. I mean, if you buy a

bed from Janice's ex-husband, that's

like betraying Chandler. Not at these

prices.

[laughter]

>> Hi. You know, in England, this car would

be on the other side of the store.

[laughter]

Oh. Oh,

Phoebe, come here.

This is my new bed. You got to feel this

bad boy.

Monica, it still feels so weird. You

know, Taylor's your friend. Oh. Oh my

god.

>> [laughter]

>> All right, take this bed. You can make

other friends.

>> Here ye here ye. Delivery from the

mattress king.

>> You, Miss Gella.

>> Okay.

>> Signed here.

>> Do I have a middle name?

>> All right. Monica Belula

Geller.

It's that bedroom there.

>> Hey, Monica bought a bed from the

mattress king.

>> Yeah. So, please, please, please don't

say anything to Chandler.

>> You want me to lie to Chandler?

>> Is that a problem?

>> No.

What's this?

Isn't it cool? Room. Room.

[laughter]

This is not the bed I ordered. I know.

You must have won like a contest or

something.

>> Baby,

why is this car in my bedroom?

>> I'm sorry. Okay, I I wasn't looking and

the store said that they won't take it

back because you've signed for it.

>> When did I sign for it?

>> When I was you. You know what? It's all

Joey's fault cuz he left his nose open.

[laughter]

>> Did you make brownies today?

>> Knock knock.

>> Quick, take off your dress. He won't

notice the bed.

>> [laughter]

>> Hey, I'm going for sushi. Does anybody

want uh

Whoa, somebody missed the offramp.

[laughter]

>> It's Monica's bed. What?

>> Okay,

it's a race car.

>> So, this has always been Monica's bed.

Well, you're just noticing now. How

self-involved are you? [laughter]

>> Okay. Well, if this bed isn't new, then

how come there's plastic on the

mattress?

>> Sometimes I have bad dreams.

>> Uh, may I help you?

>> Yes. Hi. I talked to you on the phone on

the lady who got stuck with the race car

bed.

>> Look, it's like I told you there's

nothing I can do. You signed for it.

Monica Felula Geller.

All right, Chester. Man, look. We want

to see the king. Nobody sees the king.

>> Okay, I'm talking to the king.

>> Hey, you can't go back there.

>> Oh my god.

Hey, watch it, lady. [laughter]

Hey. Hey. Good looking. [laughter]

[laughter]

All right, I'll leave. My bed's so

boring.

What are you doing? I uh reorganized the

fridge. See? Uh, bottom shelf meats and

dairy. Middle shelf fruits and

vegetables

and top shelf expired products.

[laughter]

>> Why are you doing this?

>> Because I am bored. Out of my mind. I've

already been to the bank, the post

office, and the dry cleaners.

>> Dude, you just described seven days

worth of stuff. [laughter]

>> You got to spread it out a little, you

know. Haven't you ever been unemployed?

>> Hey, I am not unemployed. I'm on

sabatical. Hey, don't get religious on

me, okay? [laughter]

A guy in your position needs to be a

little better at relaxing, you know.

What? Why do you think we have the

comfortable chairs? Huh? Look, come

here. Sit down.

Ready? Watch.

AND THEN [laughter]

so what? We just sit. Oh, no. No. We're

not going to just sit. Watch.

Hello, Chandler Bing.

>> Hello, Mr. Bing.

I love you.

>> All right, whoever this is, stop calling

me.

IT'S BEEN 6 MONTHS. IT'S NOT FUNNY.

[laughter]

>> But I love you.

>> Leave me alone. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD,

LEAVE ME ALONE. [laughter]

>> And that's Wednesday. Ben,

I want you to know that there may be

some times when I'm I may not be around

um like this,

but I'll still always come back

like this.

[laughter]

And sometimes I may be away longer like

this.

[laughter]

But I'll still always come back

like this.

And sometimes I'll want you to steal

third and I'll go like this.

[laughter]

>> He is so amazing.

>> I know. Look at him.

>> Ben.

Ben.

Hey, Ben.

Nothing. I don't think that's his name.

[laughter]

>> Oh, look. Look. He's closing his eyes.

Oh, look. He's opening his eyes.

[laughter]

>> He doesn't do much, does he?

>> Nope. This is pretty much it.

You guys want to get some coffee?

>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

>> All right. I'll see you guys later.

[laughter]

[laughter]

>> [laughter]

>> Oh, look. He's closing his eyes again.

>> Well, is everybody else having just the

best time?

Shh.

>> Joey's asleep.

After he passed out, we put the sand

around him to keep him warm.

>> Well, I assume the uh happy couple isn't

up yet. Did you guys hear them last

night?

>> Oh, yeah. I don't know what they were

doing, but at one point, sea turtles

actually came up to the house.

>> Good morning.

>> Hey.

>> Hey. How'd everybody sleep?

>> Oh, great.

>> Like a lost.

>> Us, [laughter] too.

>> Going for a walk.

[clears throat]

>> Good morning. Nice breath, by the way.

[laughter]

>> Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no. There's none

of that in here.

>> Oh, come on, man. At least let me finish

this last one.

Okay. But only if you give me a drag.

>> Okay.

>> Oh, dark mother. Once again, I suckle at

your smoky teit. [laughter]

>> Oh, no. Why don't you hold on to that

one?

Okay, that's like the least fun game

ever.

>> Well, I'm really sick of your smoking,

so I brought something that is going to

help you quit.

>> Oh,

>> nope. That patch is no good.

[laughter]

>> Come on. It's a hypnosis tape. This

woman at work used it for two weeks

straight and she hasn't smoked since.

[laughter]

>> What's your problem?

>> Nothing. It's just that hypnosis is

beyond crap.

>> Ross, I watched you get hypnotized in

Atlantic City.

>> Hey, that guy did not hypnotize me.

Okay.

>> Oh, right. Cuz you always pull your

pants down on the count of three and

play Wipe Out on your butt cheeks.

>> All right. You forget hypnosis. The way

to quit smoking is you have to dance

naked in a field of heather and then

bathe in the sweat of six healthy young

men

>> or what my father calls Thursday night.

>> Falling fast asleep.

Deeper, deeper, deeper. You are now

completely asleep. You don't need to

smoke. Cigarettes don't control you. You

are a strong, confident woman who does

not disappear.

A strong confident woman.

[laughter]

[laughter]

[cheering]

Millionaire's here. Oh my god.

[laughter]

>> Guys, please. I'm just going to have

dinner with him. Okay. Okay. Okay. Just

because he buys you dinner does not mean

you owe him anything.

>> Okay, then get the lobster.

[laughter]

>> Every knife.

[laughter]

You don't need to smoke. Cigarettes

don't control you. You are a strong,

confident woman [laughter] who does not

need to smoke.

A strong, confident woman who does not

need to smoke. Cigarettes don't control

you. You are a strong, confident woman

who does not need to smoke.

>> Joy's your best friend. [laughter]

You want to make him a cheese sandwich

every day. [laughter]

>> And you also want to buy him hundreds of

dollars worth of pants.

>> So, you're up for keynote speaker.

>> Yeah.

>> Who's making the decision?

>> Professor Sherman. Yeah. I'm meeting

with him today.

>> Oh, he is a pretty tough guy to impress.

>> Yeah. Well, I think I know how to dazzle

him.

>> Oh, you're not going to do a magic

trick, are you?

[snorts]

>> No.

The data we're receiving from MRI scans

and DNA testing of these fossils are are

staggering.

>> I mean, we've been accepting Leaky's

dates as as a given, but if they're off

by even a hundred,000 years or so, then

you can you can just throw most of our

assumptions, you know, right in the

trash.

So, so what I'm saying is is is

that

is that uh reparations

could could be huge. I mean, not just in

in paleontology, but if you think about

it in in evolutionary biology, uh

genetics, uh geology, I mean, truly the

the mind boggles.

>> Well, that's not what you want.

Hello,

>> Joey. Hey, I need to talk to Charlie. Is

she there?

>> No, she uh she went shopping with

Rachel. Why? What's up?

>> Well, I'm meeting with Professor Sherman

about my being the keynote speaker.

>> Oh, how's it going?

>> It could be better.

>> He um he fell asleep.

>> What? But I already bought my ticket to

Bermuda.

Barbados.

>> Fine, I'll rent the car and drive.

[laughter]

>> Ross, you have to get that job.

>> What am I supposed to do? He's cold. In

fact, he he was just talking in his

sleep before. And evidently, he wants

someone named Fran to spank him harder.

>> Well, just wake him up.

>> I can't. If he realizes that I'm the one

who put him to sleep, I won't get the

job.

>> Oh, that's a tough one. Oh, wait a

minute. This happened to me before.

Yeah. I was auditioning for a play and

the producer fell asleep. I No, wait a

minute. It was me who fell asleep.

>> Yeah. I mean, hey, Shakespeare, how

about a chase scene once in a while?

[cheering and laughter]

[laughter]

>> [laughter]

[laughter]

[laughter]

>> Oh my god. You really want me to be the

keynote speaker?

Thank you.

>> You're welcome.

>> Hey, Kiki.

[laughter]

>> What are you doing? Just trying to get

comfortable. Can't sleep in my

underwear.

>> Well, you're going to

>> [laughter]

>> I've been thinking, you know, about how

I'm always seeing girls on top of girls.

>> Are they end to end or tall like

pancakes? [laughter]

>> You know what I mean about how I'm

always going out with all these women?

Cuz I always figured when the right one

comes along, I'll be able to be a

standup guy and go the distance, you

know? I'm looking at my dad thinking,

"Hey, you're not him. You're you."

When they were all over you to go into

your father's pipe fitting business, did

you cave?

>> No.

>> No. You decided to go into the out of

work actor business. [laughter]

Now, that wasn't easy, but you did it.

And I'd like to believe that when the

right woman comes along, you will have

the courage and the guts to say, "No

thanks. I'm married. [laughter]

You really think so?

>> Yeah, I really do.

>> Thanks, J.

>> Get off.

>> Janice likes to cuddle at night, which,

you know, I'm all for. But, uh, you

know, when you want to go to sleep, you

want some space. So, uh, you know, how

do I tell her that without,

>> you know, accidentally calling her fat

or something?

>> Oh, honey, I'm sorry. We can't help you

there cuz we're cuddly sleepers.

>> Okay. I'm late for work.

>> Oh,

>> all right. Are you guys going to come

down?

>> Uh, yeah. Yeah, I'll I'm right behind

you.

>> Okay. Good luck, Chandler.

>> Thank you, Rachel. Bye, sweetie.

>> Bye, honey.

>> Okay, the sleeping thing.

[laughter]

Very tricky business, but there is

something you can do.

>> I thought you guys were cuddly sleeping.

>> No, [laughter]

no, not cuddly. Not me. Just her. I'm

like you. I need the room.

Okay, come here.

>> Okay, you're in bed.

>> Yeah.

[laughter]

>> I'm going to use the cushion. Yeah.

>> Okay. You're in bed. She's over on your

side cuddling. Now you wait for her to

drift off and then you hug her and roll

her over to her side of the bed. And

then you

roll away.

Hug for her.

Roll for you. [laughter]

Okay. The old hug and roll.

>> Yeah.

>> Okay. One question. Shoot. You're

pretending the pillow's a girl, right?

[laughter]

>> Honey, you made the bed again. I told

you you don't have to do that. This

isn't camp.

>> Oh, then I guess the panty raid last

night was totally uncalled for.

Okay, I am going to take a shower and

today I will be singing Jim Crochy's

Leroy Brown.

>> [laughter]

>> Monica.

>> Hey, man. I have a question. Is Leroy

the baddest man in the whole damn town

or the fattest man in the whole damn

town?

>> The baddest. Otherwise, the song would

be fat fat Leroy Brown.

>> What are you doing?

>> I'm just waiting for you, sweetie.

Are you remaking the bed?

>> I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You know what? The

way you did it, it was just fine.

>> Then you're redoing it because

>> if I tell you, you'll think I'm crazy.

>> You're pretty much running that risk

either way. [laughter]

>> Okay. You see,

the debate tag shouldn't be at the top

left corner. It should be at the bottom

right corner.

>> Well, that's not so crazy.

>> I'm just easing you in. All right.

>> All right. You see these little flower

blossoms? They should be facing up, not

down, because well, the head of the bed

is where the sun would be.

[laughter]

You don't love me anymore, do you?

>> Actually, if it's possible, I love you

more.

>> Really?

>> Wow. Well, then come on. I want to show

you how to fold the toilet paper into a

point.

This is so exciting. So glamorous.

People taking our picture. How do I

look?

>> You're a little tall.

>> What? Would you mind crouching down a

little bit so that I look taller?

There you go.

>> [laughter]

[music]

[applause]

>> Good job, Joe. Well done. Top notch.

>> You liked it? You really liked it?

>> Oh, yeah. [laughter]

Which part exactly?

>> The whole thing. Here we go.

>> No, no, no. Give me some specifics. I

love the specifics. The specifics were

the best part.

>> Hey, what about the scene with the

kangaroo? Did you Did you like that

part?

>> I was surprised to see a kangaroo.

[laughter]

>> In a World War I epic.

You fell asleep. [laughter]

There was no kangaroo. They didn't take

any of my suggestions.

[laughter]

>> Thanks a lot for coming, buddy. See you

later.

>> Don't go. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Look,

this guy fell asleep. He fell asleep,

too. Be mad at him.

>> I had a dream last night where I was

playing football with my kid.

>> It's nice.

>> Nice.

>> No, no, with him.

I'm on this field and they they hike me,

the baby, [laughter]

and I I know I've got to do something

cuz the Tampa Bay defense is coming

right at me. [laughter]

>> Tampa Bay has got a terrible team,

>> right? But

[laughter]

it is just me and the baby, so I'm

thinking they can take us.

And so I uh I just hate it downfield.

>> What? Are you afraid that's a baby?

>> He should take the sack. [laughter]

>> Anyway, suddenly I'm downfield and I

realize that I'm the one who's supposed

to catch him, right? only I know there

is no way I'm going to get there in

time, right? So, I am running and I'm

running and that that is when I woke up.

See, I I am so not ready to be a father.

>> Hey, you're going to be fine.

>> You're one of the most caring, most

responsible men in North America.

[laughter]

You're going to make a great dad.

>> Yeah, Ross. You and the baby just need

better blocking.

Isn't this nice? So quiet. I could just

lie here all day.

>> Oh no.

>> Open your drapes. Open your drapes.

>> So glad we got adjoining rooms.

>> The sun is out.

>> Hey, remember when I had cornneas?

>> Okay, listen. You go down to the pool

and reserve the chairs and I'll get the

magazines and the lotion.

>> Uh, ladies, Ross's speech is in 45

minutes.

>> Damn it.

[laughter]

>> Walls are pretty thin, guys.

Then we have to weigh the data from

recent MRI scans and DNA testing

which call into question information

gathered from years of simple carbon

dating.

>> Got that woman sitting out by the pool

getting tan

>> material

all leathery and wrinkled. I'm so

jealous.

Finally, factor in the profusion of new

species recently discovered.

Gigantosaurus,

Argentinosaurus,

>> not to mention Culaurus.

[laughter]

>> And that's just the herbivores. I'm not

even going to discuss the carnivores.

Their heads are already too big, which

is ironic considering their stunted

cerebral development. [laughter]

At 4:30 a.m.

United States garrison in Fort Sa was

fired upon. It is now under.

>> Hey, Dad. What are you doing here?

>> Well, it's your mother's bridge night,

so I thought I'd come into the city for

a little Mona cuddle.

>> [laughter]

>> Since when did you start smoking cigars?

>> I don't. I just I just like the smell of

them.

>> So, uh, what are you really doing here,

Dad?

>> Well, I just wanted to make sure that

you're okay.

>> What makes you think that I might not be

okay?

>> I saw Richard.

>> Oh.

>> So, how you doing?

>> I'm fine. Just a little tired, but I'm

okay.

How's Richard doing?

>> You don't want to know.

>> No, I I really really do.

>> Well, he's doing terrible.

>> Really?

>> Worse than when he broke up with

Barbara.

>> You're not just saying that, are you?

>> No. The man is a mess. [laughter]

>> Was he crying?

>> No.

Well, do you think he was waiting till

after you left so we could cry?

>> Maybe.

>> I think so.

>> Honey, relationships are hard. Like with

your mom and me. You know, after we

graduated from college, we broke up for

a while. It seems her father, your

grandfather, wanted her to travel around

Europe like he did. Of course, he got to

do it on Uncle Sam's nickel because he

was also strafing German troop trains at

the time.

However, [laughter]

you need some help from you.

Yes, please.

>> First of all, Utah,

dude. You can't just make stuff up.

[cheering]

I hate America. [laughter]

When I finish this game, I swear I am

moving.

Okay, maybe this is so hard because

there aren't 50 states.

[laughter]

Let me tell you something. I have 49

states and there are no more [laughter]

now. I I think I should be able to eat

something.

[laughter]

>> It's up to you.

>> [laughter]

>> Delaware. [laughter]

Delaware.

>> All right.

>> I want my turkey now.

>> You got it.

You got Nevada twice.

[laughter]

>> I know.

>> Yeah.

>> It's 6:30 in the morning. We're not

working out. It's over.

>> No way. With one pound to go. Come on.

We're working. We're moving. We're in

the zone. We're grooving.

>> Okay. I don't I don't mind the last

pound. Okay. In fact, I kind of like the

last pound. Okay. So, don't make me do

anything that I'll regret. [laughter]

>> What you going to do, fat boy? Huh?

>> What?

>> Nothing except tell you uh I think it's

wonderful how much energy you have.

>> Well, thanks.

>> I mean, especially considering how tough

it's been for you to find work.

You know,

>> you know, I mean, you can't tell your

parents you were fired because they'd be

disappointed.

>> Uh-huh.

>> And it's not as if you have a

boyfriend's shoulder to cry on.

>> Well, no, but I

>> I mean, if it were me, I think I'd have

difficulty just getting out of bed at

all. [laughter]

You know, I try to stay positive.

>> So, you you feel like going for a run.

[laughter]

>> All right.

>> Because you know, you don't have to. If

you want, you could just take a nap

right here.

>> Okay.

[laughter]

Just for a little while.

>> Okay.

>> [cheering]

>> Uh, Ra, [laughter] what's Hugsy doing in

the crib with Emma?

>> Oh, well, she was just crawling around

and she found him, so I just let her

sleep with him.

>> That's all right, isn't it?

>> Oh, of course. Yeah, it's a stuffed

animal. You know, it's for kids, not for

adults.

>> I know that.

>> Joey, are you sure? I mean, I know how

much you love him.

>> Rachel, let's be clear on this, okay? I

do not love Hugsy.

>> I like him a normal amount.

>> All right. Well, Emma loves him.

>> Yeah. Well, why wouldn't she? He's a

wonderful person.

>> [music]

>> Look at you. All sweet and innocent,

sleeping like an angel with them chubby

little hands wrapped around you.

[laughter]

>> It's okay, Emma. You stay asleep.

>> [crying]

>> Step away from THE CRIB. I'M 11.

[screaming]

>> IT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY. RA, IT'S ME. Put

down the scrunchie. [laughter]

>> What are you doing?

>> Well, I heard Emma stirring, so so I

came in to make sure she could reach

Hugsy.

>> Oh. Oh, thanks. All right. Well, now

that I'm up, I'm going to go to the

bathroom.

>> Okay. There you go, sweetie.

This isn't over.

>> Hey. Hey, look who's here. It's Joey.

And he brought home a friend.

>> Joey. Emma's right here. You promised

not to bring girls home in the middle of

the day anymore.

>> No, no, no. It's not a girl. It's

a brand new Hugsy.

>> Oh, that's so great. Now Emma has two

Hugsies.

>> No, no, no. Oh, no. No. Emma has one

Hugsy. The new Hugsy. Huh.

>> The other Hugsy. I don't know. I guess

I'll just take him back. Oh.

>> Oh, you know what? When I was a little

girl, I had a little pink pony named

Cotton. Oh, I loved her so much. I took

her everywhere. I would braid her tail.

>> Make the transfer. [laughter]

>> Now, now, should I be concerned that a

button fell off the old Hugsy and I

can't find it?

>> Oh, no. Don't worry about it. I

swallowed that years ago. [laughter]

>> Oh, what? I don't think she likes the

new Hugsy.

>> But he's [crying] the same.

>> Yeah, I think she wants the old one

back.

>> Yeah, but he's the same.

>> Joey, come on.

>> But he's the same.

>> You're not the same.

[laughter]

>> Trying to put Emma down for a nap. Have

you seen Hugsy?

>> Uh, original or crappy?

>> Original.

>> No, sorry. I haven't seen them.

>> Then what's that big lump under your

covers?

It's Monica. Okay,

>> that is not Monica.

>> All right, fine. It's original Hugsy.

>> You know, now I know Emma wants him, but

he's mine and I need him. She's being

unreasonable.

>> Joey, there is a reason that Emma loves

that stupid PENGUIN SO MUCH. OH, DON'T

COVER ITS EARS. [laughter]

>> It's because it reminds her of her uncle

Joey.

>> It does.

>> Yeah. And she's comforted by him because

she loves her uncle Joey so much.

>> Really? She She loves me.

>> Oh, yeah.

But you know what? If you need Hugsy,

don't worry. Emma will totally

understand. I won't, but whatever.

>> Okay. Wait, wait, wait, wait a minute.

Wait a minute, Ma. I mean, if if if

Hugsy means that much to Emma, then

Well, she can have them.

>> Oh. Oh, sweet. I knew Uncle Joey would

step up. Look, Emma, look who's back.

>> FORGET IT. FORGET IT. I can't do it.

>> Are you You're GOING TO TAKE UXY AWAY

FROM A LITTLE CHILD?

>> How do you think I got him in the first

place? [laughter]

>> Who is that?

>> Don't worry. I'm brave. I am brave. I I

am brave.

>> No, no, no, no, no, no.

>> Can you tell me who is there, please?

[laughter]

>> My name's Gary. I live upstairs.

Hi.

>> Hi. Do you know what time it is?

>> It's candy time.

>> My roommate says that they taste like

little drops of heaven.

>> Oh, please.

>> Did you hear that? Little drops of

heaven. [laughter]

>> 4:00 a.m.

>> So, can I get some candy?

>> I am sorry, but some of us have to get

up early and go to work. He does not

know that I am not some of us.

>> [laughter]

>> Um, listen, I'm sorry, but I I'll put

some out first thing in the morning.

>> Well, okay. I'll swing by later.

>> You live in this building?

>> Seems like I would have remembered you.

>> Night, G.

>> You guys are so cute.

>> I know.

>> All right, I'll see you tomorrow. Okay.

>> Okay.

>> [music]

>> You know, I love doing crossword puzzles

with you, honey.

>> Me, too. Now, let's finish this and go

to bed.

>> Okay, [laughter] there's only one left.

Threeletter word. Not dog, but

>> cat.

[laughter]

Yes. You are so smart.

>> I love you.

>> I love you, too.

[laughter]

[music]

>> Tada.

Are we greeting each other this way now?

Because I like that.

[laughter]

>> Look, I cleaned. I did the windows. I

did the floors. I haven't used all those

attachments on the vacuum except for

that little round one with the bristles.

I don't know what that's for.

>> Oh, yeah. Nobody knows. And we're not

supposed to ask.

>> Well, what do you think?

>> Very clean.

>> Really? It looks great.

>> Very clean.

Oh, I I I see you moved the green

ottoman.

>> Welcome.

[laughter]

>> How did that happen?

>> I don't know. I I thought it looked

better there. And I And also, it's an

extra scenery table.

>> Yeah, it's interesting.

[laughter]

But you know what? Just for fun, let's

see what it looked like in the old spot.

I just to compare.

See? Ha. Well, it looks good there, too.

Let's just leave it there for a while.

[laughter]

>> Can't believe you tried to move the

green ottoman.

>> Thank god you didn't try to fan out the

magazines. I mean, she'll scratch your

eyes RIGHT OUT.

>> GUYS, I AM NOT that bad. Yeah, you are,

Monica. [laughter]

Remember if I lived with you? You were

like a little, YOU KNOW,

That is so unfair.

>> Oh, come on. When we were kids, yours

was the only raggedy and doll. It wasn't

raggedy. [laughter]

>> Okay, so I'm responsible. I'm organized.

But hey, I can be a cook.

[laughter]

>> All right, you mad cap gal.

Try to imagine this. The phone bill

arrives, but you don't pay it right

away.

>> Why not?

>> Because you're A COOK.

>> [laughter]

>> INSTEAD, YOU WAIT UNTIL THEY send you a

notice.

>> I could do that. Okay. Okay. Then, uh,

you let me go grocery shopping and I buy

laundry detergent, but it's not the one

with the easy pour spout. Why would

someone do that? [laughter]

One might wonder.

Someone's left a glass on the coffee

table. There's no coaster. It's a cold

drink. It's a hot day. Little beads of

condensation are inching their way

closer and closer to the surface of the

wood.

>> Stop it. [laughter]

>> Oh my god, it's true. Who am I?

>> Monica, you're mom.

[music]

>> You go to bed, guys.

>> All right. Good night, Monica.

>> Mom, you going to leave your shoes out

here?

Uh-huh. [laughter]

>> Really? Just just casually strewn about

in that reckless haphazard manner?

[laughter]

>> Doesn't matter. I'll get him tomorrow or

not. [laughter]

>> Whenever.

>> She is a cook.

>> [music]

>> If it bothers you that much, just go out

and get the shoes.

No, don't do this. This is stupid. I

don't have to prove anything. I'm going

to go get them.

But then everyone will know.

Unless I get them and then wake up

really early and put them back. Oh, I

need help.

重点词汇

词汇	含义
sleeping /ˈsliːpɪŋ/ A2	verb - 正在睡觉 (zhèngzài shuìjiào)
question /ˈkwɛstʃən/ A2	noun - 问题 (wèntí)
impact /ˈɪmpækt/ B1	noun - 影响 (yǐngxiǎng)
Armageddon /ɑːrməˈɡɛdən/ C1	noun - 末日审判 (mòrì shěnpàn)
reading /ˈriːdɪŋ/ A2	verb - 阅读 (yuèdú)
skating /ˈskeɪtɪŋ/ A2	verb - 滑冰 (huábīng)
cover /ˈkʌvər/ A2	noun - 封面 (fēngmiàn)
living /ˈlɪvɪŋ/ A2	noun - 客厅 (kètīng)
shin /ʃɪn/ B1	noun - 小腿 (xiǎotuǐ)
warm /wɔːrm/ A2	adjective - 温暖 (wēnnuǎn)
boring /ˈbɔːrɪŋ/ A2	adjective - 无聊 (wúliáo)
interesting /ˈɪntrəstɪŋ/ A2	adjective - 有趣的 (yǒuqù)
bummed /bʌmd/ B1	adjective - 失望 (shīwàng)
digest /daɪˈdʒɛst/ B1	noun - 文摘 (wénzhāi)
sex /sɛks/ C1	noun - 性交 (xìngjiāo)
rock /rɒk/ B1	verb - 摇动 (yáodòng)
plans /plænz/ A2	noun - 计划 (jìhuà)

重点语法结构

• Deep Impact was the one with Robert Dval?

  ➔ 反问句 (fǎn wèn jù)

  ➔ 这句话使用反问句 ('was the one, ?') 来寻求确认。助动词 'was' 被重复，并且句末的语调升高以表示疑问。

• it is in the living room where there is also a light and no one will kick you in the shin.

  ➔ 关系从句 (gānxì cóngjù) & 一般将来时 (yībān jiāngláishí)

  ➔ 这句话包含一个关系从句 ('where there is also a light') 修饰 'living room'。'no one will kick you' 使用一般将来时表达预测或威胁。

• Damn you, Oprah.

  ➔ 呼语 (hūyǔ) & 感叹词 (gǎntàncí)

  ➔ 'Damn you' 是一种表达强烈情感的感叹词。'Oprah' 以呼语的形式直接称呼她。

• You thought you were going to read my boring book to put me to sleep.

  ➔ 过去进行时 (guòqù jìnxíngshí) & 目的状语 (mùdì zhuàngyǔ)

  ➔ 'You were going to read' 是过去进行时，表示一个计划中的动作。'to put me to sleep' 是一个不定式短语，表达阅读这本书的目的。